Chapter 49- Roaming Charges

I keep getting reviews about Wind and Hydro power and great but...the kingdoms don't exactly have good access to those. Vacuo might have a good spot for wind power and maybe Mistral could have hydropower, I think there was a big waterfall on the mountain but i'm not sure. As for Vale and Atlas, they don't really have anything except solar power which the the others could have too. Menagerie also might be a good spot for wind power.

Also someone asked me if I was a guy or girl and sorry but I'm paranoid about the internet and I don't understand why people give information out so willingly nowadays.

But it would be cool to see what you all think. From my writing what can you guess about my gender or age? I'm curious to see what you can guess.

-

"Roaming Charges" appeared on the screen with a new theme. It was a sort of 8 bit theme of the regular theme but it sounded completely different.

The usual five started to hum the theme only to hear the different one and look around confused.

"What?" Ruby said simply.

"New theme?" Pyrrha said confused.

"Awww! I liked the old one!" Nora complained.

"Me too." Jaune said.

"I like this one." Yang said.

"Traitor!" Ruby shouted pointing at Yang.

Yang put a hand to her chest and gasped in mock offense.

Fade in to Church in the past

"Wow it looks even worse than when the show first started." Weiss commented.

"Why are you complaining?" Yang asked.

"Oh no I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, Ruby didn't you say you thought this was an older game?" Weiss asked.

"Yeah, Ren nicknamed the games Ring because of the big space ring planet they were on." Ruby explained. "We think thats Ring 1, seasons 1 to 2 were Ring 2, and now they're in Ring 3."

Weiss nodded. "I still hope it's not time travel but after the last few episodes, I'll ...tolerate it." Weiss said with difficulty.

"I won't." Blake added.

Yang laughed. "Now Blake's the wet blanket."

Blake groaned. "Time travel, seriously?" Blake complained.

Weiss almost agreed but kept silent.

Church: "Okay, think Church. The bomb went off, you got knocked out, you woke up, and you were here. Question is, where is here?"

"Church is one of the most rational people on the show." Pyrrha commented.

"He's my favorite character." Ruby added.

"Thats still only because he sounds like dad." Yang said. "I like Tex a lot but I don't like Miss Goodwitch that much."

"Miss Goodwitch is cool." Ruby mumbled remembering her first meeting with her.

A wall raises, and Church moves past it to Gary/Gamma but Church doesn't know that yet shhhhhhh.

Gamma: "hello. you are early."

"Hhmm?" Ren mumbled curiously.

"He already knows Church?" Nora asked.

Church: "Me?"

Gamma: "you are not supposed to be here for another 1,856 years."

"1,856..." Ren mumbled.

"Well that confirms the time travel." Blake sighed.

"Does it?" Jaune asked.

"Ohhh! It's like a fairy tale with a great prophecy." Ruby said. "I used to love those stories Yang would read me."

"Aww." Yang cooed. "I loved reading them to you, your favorite was of the Girl trapped in the tower."

"I loved that one too." Pyrrha said.

"My big sister Saphron always read the tale of the two brothers to me." Jaune said. "And I read the tale of the four maidens to my little sisters."

Blake smiled remembering those stories, she used to love them before she became so jaded to the world and switched to more dark and gritty novels...as well as some other more mature books she won't mention.

Church: "What is this place?"

Gamma: "this is the housing facility for the great weapon. i am the keeper of the great weapon. you are the great destroyer. you will demolish this facility, kill me, steal the great weapon, and bring about the great doom for billions of people. ... welcome! how may i be of assistance?"

Jaune paused the show at Rens signal.

"Ok" Ren said first. "Great weapon..." he mumbled.

"The sword? The one that Tucker found?" Jaune suggested.

"That sounds good." Ren said. "In the last episode when Caboose heard Church he was near a computer. Maybe this is the same one." Ren theorized.

"That sounds right." Pyrrha said.

"The great destroyer..." Ren mumbled. "Hmm..."

"Are we not going to talk about the computer's reaction? He just welcomes him!" Blake said. "Terrible writing."

Weiss really wanted to agree with her but after the Solar energy thing she didn't want to complain.

"Doom for billions of people..." Rwby mumbled. "That's a lot."

"Yeah...how many people live on Remnant?" Jaune asked.

"With the villages always rising and falling it's uncertain." Weiss said. "It's roughly estimated that the entire population including both humans and Faunus is between seven hundred and fifty million to one billion."

Blake sighed. "Including both races, I remember when the population estimates didn't include Faunus's."

"It's good that they changed it." Ruby said trying to lighten the mood."

"It was only done because of the fear the White Fang caused." Blake said angrily.

Church: "What're you talking about?"

Gamma: "your coming has been foretold by the great prophecy."

Blake groaned at the great prophecy, she thought it was ridiculous storytelling.

Weiss sighed inwardly too.

Church: "Does your society have any other adjectives besides great?"

Weiss and Blake both laughed at the joke and remembered why they started liking the show, the clever jokes that came off so naturally.

Gamma: "the great prophecy warns the great destoyer will be a blue being."

Church: "And you think that's me."

Gamma: "the blue being will be known as the stupidest life form in the universe."

Ren thought a bit before a smile came upon his face. He got the joke before it was even said.

Church: "Wait a second, this destroyer guy. He dresses like me, but he's dumber than anyone else in existence."

Weiss and Blake started snickering.

Gamma: "correct."

Church: "Oh crap."

Text screen: 1,856 years in the future

Cut to unarmed Caboose

Caboose: "Mister Sargeant! Mister Sargeant! Come quick!"

Everyone started laughing.

Pyrrha laughed the most, she loved Caboose's innocent nature.

Sarge: "You'd better have a damn good reason for interrupting our search. Can't you see this is an extremely organized and highly motivated operation!"

"I doubt that." Weiss said smiling.

Text screen: 2 minutes before that

Cut to Grif and Simmons

Grif: "Yeah I'm bored, I wanna stop doing whatever it is I'm pretending to be doing."

"How I feel in class everyday." Yang said. "I can really relate to Grif."

"That's not a good thing." Weiss said as Blake nodded.

Sarge: "You're supposed to be helping me look for Lopez, meat sack. You said you saw him up here."

Grif: "We saw his head."

Sarge: "Just the head?"

Grif: "Yeah, it was operating the right turret."

"Which I'm still confused about." Jaune said.

"Like I said I think Lopez was connected to the turret, probably with a wire or something." Ruby explained.

"That makes sense." Jaune said.

"But when Tex shot his head off there was no wire..." Blake pointed out.

Nora gasped. "What if the shot was so powerful it took the wire with it!"

Ruby sighed. "No I think I was just wrong."

Sarge: "How was he pullin' the triggers?"

Simmons: "He's very determined."

Yang and Jaune laughed at that.

Sarge: "You're sure it was Lopez."

Grif: "Well, I heard screaming in Spanish, and bullets flying through the air, so either that was Lopez, or this is Mexican New Year."

"I feel like thats racist." Blake said.

"Me too." Pyrrha said with a frown.

"I'm still curious about this race of Mexicans." Ren mumbled. "What are they? All I know so far is that Mexicans and Latinos are similar or the same thing and they speak Spanish."

"Do you have any theories?" Jaune asked.

"Well, they are likely humanoid and it's likely Mexicans and or Latinos live on the same planet as these humans." Ren explained. "Or maybe they are humans and are just a different ethnicity."

"Why would they discriminate on ethnicity? Thats just a Human or Faunus with a different skin color." Ruby asked.

"Ethnicity is also culture." Ren said.

"Does that matter?" Ruby asked seriously.

"No. No it does not." Ren said.

"People will always find something to discriminate, people love feeling powerful." Blake said angrily.

Pyrrha put a hand on her shoulder. "Things will get better, they always do."

Blake smiled.

Sarge: "Well where's his head now?"

Simmons: "I don't know, Tex shot it. Hey, Tex!"

Tex: "What?"

Simmons: "When you shot Lopez's head, where did it go?"

"Yeah how did he move?" Ruby asked.

"Maybe O'Malley took him." Yang suggested.

Tex: "How do I know?"

Simmons: "Are you sure you hit it?"

Tex: "..."

"Ohh never insult someones shot." Ruby warned.

Simmons: "I mean is it possible that you missed?"

Tex: "..."

Simmons: "I mean just this one time, it doesn't say anything about your overall skill level."

"Simmons is right though." Jaune said.

Tex: "..."

Simmons: "Yeah, she says she doesn't know."

Cut to Tucker with his big blue bladey thing, and Donut with his crappy little gun

Donut: "Wow, that's sweet! I like the glowing part. Ooh ho, does it make cool noises when you swing it?"

Ruby and Jaune leaned forward hopefully.

Tucker: "I don't think so... no, wait, is "whoosh" a noise? Because if it is then it does, it goes whoosh whoosh, whshsh, whshthsh, whithishsh, wh-kch, chchchchc, whshsshh, hhshshsh ing, ching, whsch, wheouw. (swings the blade a couple times, making it whoosh in the air) See?"

"So. Cool!" Ruby yelled.

"I know! I would love to have on of those!" Jaune said.

"Ruby can you send me the picture of that sword?" Weiss asked. "I can ask Winter about it, maybe Atlas can make a prototype they always love new weapons."

"Sure Weiss." Ruby answered sending her the pictures.

Donut: "And you found that in a hole?"

Tucker: "Yeah dude I was just walking along, following Tex, not really paying attention you know. I fell in some hole. And uh, Tex didn't help me out, she figured she was better off without me, and that's when I found this."

"I bet I know why he wasn't paying attention." Nora said grinning.

"Because he was staring at Tex's ass?" Yang asked laughing.

"Oh...I thought it was because he was having daydreams like I do!" Nora said loudly.

Donut: "You know, most people would tell that story in a way that makes it sound a little better."

Tucker: "Yeah but, you know, that's not really my style."

"Thats admirable, he doesn't embellish stories." Pyrrha commented.

Donut: "Man, I've never found something that cool in a hole. And I've explored just about every hole you can think of!"

Tucker: "Hey dude, do me a favor and don't talk like that when I'm playing with my thing."

Cut to the reds (but not pinky Donut) in a hallway

Sarge: "Caboose, what're you yammerin' about? Did you find Lopez?"

Everyone leaned forward.

Caboose: "Someone meaner!"

Everyone chuckled.

"Church isn't that mean." Ruby said.

"Yeah he is." Pyrrha said. "Church and Sarge are very mean to their soldiers."

"Commanding officers have to be...but they are not good commanding officers." Weiss said.

Sarge: "O'Malley?"

Caboose: "Meaner!"

Grif: "You found someone meaner than the guy trying to destroy the universe."

Caboose: "Yes!"

Church: "(in the console behind a BLue Screen Of Death) Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?"

"Hmm?" Ren mumbled.

Caboose: "See? It's Church. Ahand he's meaner than ever!"

"How?" Ruby asked.

Church: "Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?"

Caboose: "Church. I can hear you. Can you hear me."

Church: "Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?"

"I think it's a recording." Jaune said.

Caboose: "Church. I can hear you. How are you?"

"Caboose would never know." Yang said laughing.

Church: "Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?"

Simmons: "I think it might be a recording."

"See?" Jaune said.

Grif: "Quiet, I wanna see how long this lasts."

"Me too!" Yang said laughing again.

Caboose: "Church. I can hear you. Do you miss me?"

Sarge: "Move over, brainiac, let me see if I can get the rest of this thing to play. (starts fidgeting with the console)"

Caboose: "I carried the bomb and found Church. I, am a very important person."

"Apparently he's the great destroyer." Ruby said.

Blake groaned and Weiss sighed.

Grif: "Yes we're very impressed..."

Sarge: "Hmm. I think I can reroute power from the main coupling to the memory storage compartment. Grif, we may have to use some of your circuitry from your armor's life support system."

Everyone except Pyrrha and Ruby laughed at the joke.

Grif: "Or, I could just hit the play button."

"Grif and Simmons have a lot of common sense that the others don't." Jaune commented.

"So does Church." Yang said.

Sarge: "Are you sure? I'm already down here."

Grif: "I'm sure."

Sarge: "I already got the access panel off and everything."

Grif: "Pressing play."

Sarge: "Alright fine."

Church: "Caboose, I know you're there. I'm leaving this message from two thousand years in the past. Whatever you do, don't, touch, anything. Apparently you're this culture's version of the apocalypse. You're going to destroy this building, and somehow bring about doom for their entire race."

"This cultures version of the apocalypse? In this universe apocalypses seem to be a big problem." Ren theorized.

"Yeah they said they have a ton of movies about them too." Jaune said.

Caboose: "Mmmmmmnooo... that doesn't sound like me. I like people. And buildings also."

"I think he will somehow accidentally do it." Weiss said.

"Have some faith in him." Pyrrha asked.

"That's going to be a little hard." Weiss said laughing lightly.

Simmons: "Caboose, what did you do with the bomb you were carrying?"

Caboose: "ohhh I put it on the X, like... I was s'posed to."

"See?" Weiss said.

Simmons: "Uh oh."

Grif: "I think we'd better get outta here."

Church: "Whatever you do, don't touch the glowing weapon thing they have stored there."

"Uh oh." Ruby said.

Simmons: "Uh oh."

"Jinx." Yang laughed.

Church: "And if you do, definitely don't bring it in to the main building."

Tucker and Donut walk in, with Tucker brandishing the glowing weapon thing in plain sight

Tucker: "What's up, dawgs?"

Weiss and Blake sighed while the others laughed.

Church: "Otherwise the whole place is gonna lock down, and you're gonna be trapped."

The places starts locking down, trapping them inside

"Welp everything he says is going to happen." Yang said.

Ren grinned and lightly chuckled.

Donut: "Automatic garage door, cool!"

Caboose: "Would you stop saying bad things that come true! Or... say them ten seconds earlier!"

Jaune and Ren laughed.

Radio sounds

Sarge: "Tex, this is Sarge. Do not detonate the bomb."

Tex: "I don't have a detonator, it's on a timer."

Grif: "A countdown timer?"

"What other timers for bombs are there?" Blake asked.

Tex: "No, a countup timer. It goes from one, to explode. Of course a countdown timer you idiot!"

"Yep, Tex is still my favorite character." Yang grinned.

"Mine too." Blake added.

Sarge: "I think we might be in trouble. Ah fudgepumps."

"Sarge has strange curses." Yang commented.

Text screen: meanwhile, at a different time

Cut to Church in the past

Church: "Just don't touch anything, don't look at anything, don't breathe on anything."

"That didn't work." Jaune laughed.

Gamma: "message recorded. do you think it will work?"

Church: "No. Like you said man, that guy's dumb as a rock! But at least he has some slightly less stupid people around him that can kind of help him from time to time."

"What Church says is so true." Blake said chuckling.

Text screen: t minus 3 minutes

Sarge: "Just three minutes left on the bomb!"

Donut: "Whah! We're all gonna explode and die!"

Grif: "Simmons come over here, help me chew on this wall. We can eat our way out!"

"Slightly less stupid people." Blake quoted and laughed.

Yang and Weiss laughed too.

Text screen: t minus 975,513,603 minutes

"I wonder if thats right? It doesn't look right." Jaune said.

"It's not." Ren stated.

Church: "Yeah, on second thought I'd better get back there and handle this personally. Y'know if I could only get back to our old bases, maybe I can change some key events and keep them from getting there. Hey, do you have any way to teleport me to Blood Gulch?"

"Is he content with waiting over 1000 years?" Weiss asked.

"That would be awful." Ruby commented.

Gamma: "no. but working at full capacity, i could create a teleporter in approximately 1,000 years."

Nora gasped. "He made the teleporters!"

Every else was shocked and gasped because Nora was actually right.

"Nora...you're right!" Ren said shocked most of all.

"I am? I am!" Nora said happily.

Church: "A thousand years, huh? Kind of a long wait. You know any jokes?"

Gamma: "did you hear the one about the positronic brain?"

Yang groaned. "I can't stand not understanding these jokes."

Church: "Oh yeah, that's the one with the, active matrix and the..."

Gamma: "yes. that's it. i just love that one. ha. ha. ha."

Church: "Yeah it's funny. It's old, but, yeah it's funny."

Gamma: "how about the one with the jewish simm chip and the irish expansion slot?"

"Look a sex joke I don't understand!" Yang complained.

Church: "Hey come on dude, let's, try to keep it clean."

Gamma: "hey. pull my dongle. come on you big baby. just one pull. it won't kill you."

"Well that one I got." Yang chuckled.

"Next one?" Blake asked Jaune.

Jaune hit play.

—non canon Professor Side Story—

"Ozpin? Are you alright?" Glynda asked noticing Ozpin's long face.

Ozpin regained his composure in a second.

"Yes Glynda I'm fine. Just thinking, the bit about the long wait and 1000 years has me thinking on just how old I am." Ozpin explained.

"Ah Age is a terrible thing, but great wisdom comes from it." Bart commented.

"Just be glad you aren't going to be 1000 years old like this poor fellow!" Peter commented and laughed.

Ozpin chuckled at the irony, Glynda glared at Peter and glanced worriedly at Ozpin, she was the only one in the room who knew the truth.

"Yes, living to be over 1000 years old would truly be a hard thing to do." Ozpin said simply. "Well! How about another episode?"

Glynda forgot all her worry at her leader and friend and groaned.

—-non canon Criminals side Story—-

"Ma'am?" Emerald asked when she saw the face of her Leader.

Cinder sighed. "It's nothing, our leader was asking for a report."

Emerald and Mercury flinched at the mention of their leader. Knowing who and what it meant. Emerald would follow Cinder anywhere and Mercury was happy to follow along as it was a natural path for him. But Salem, Salem still terrified them.

"What did she say when you told her about the show?" Emerald asked.

"She said nothing because I did not inform her, and neither will any of you next time we meet." Cinder said in an ordering voice.

"B- yes ma'am." Emerald said.

"Yes Ma'am." Mercury said at the same time.

"This show is irrelevant to her, and I do not want to waste her time." Cinder explained.

Mercury and Emerald nodded.

"Good, now." Cinder sighed. "Next episode."

—-

Sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday, I was busy. Please review!

My pm's are open to

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-Thanks!