Note – Thanks for the lovely comments. That last chapter was a doozy to write, lol.

Mean 49

So let go,

Let go,

And jump in.

Oh, well,

What you waiting for?

It's all right;

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

-- "Let Go," Frou Frou

.: 234 Cherry Blossom Lane :.

"It was an accident."

"You told my son that I asked Jason to give him up before he was even born." Elizabeth was trembling with rage. "How the hell is that an accident?"

"You did tell him to give him up," Carly retorted. "It's a little late in the game to start pretending you didn't."

"He didn't need to know!"

"And, of course, you get the final say on what Jake gets to know and what he doesn't." She folded her arms over her chest. "All his life, you've decided what he did or didn't need to know. And guess what? He had you fooled this whole time. He's known just about everything since he was six; I just helped him out a little. How does that make you feel? You raised him, and you didn't even know him."

Elizabeth went white, and her nails bit into her palm so hard that they almost drew blood. "You heartless bitch. After everything-"

"Don't turn this into a sob story for my benefit," Carly snorted. "Save that for Jason. He's the only one that seems to fall for them anymore. Because Jake knows better now, I'm sure."

"And we all have you to thank for that, don't we? Super Carly, responsible for spreading truth and justice in Port Charles. Too bad you're the most manipulative, dishonest, scheming whore I've ever met."

"Jake went around acting like he knew the truth about everything," she spat back. "That he knew the truth about why Jason gave him up – only he thought it was because Jason was a deadbeat. I just helped him connect the rest of the dots: it was because you were too afraid to deal with the consequences of what you'd done and that's why you took a son away from its father. And chose 

a piss-poor replacement, in my opinion. Jake thinks he knows the truth about who his father is – it's time he knew what a bitch his mother was, too."

The front door opened just as a smack resounded in the otherwise still room, and Jason's jaw dropped when he walked in to see Elizabeth slap Carly so hard that she left a red hand print on the older woman's cheek.

Jason leapt in between them just as Carly lunged for Elizabeth and held her off. He'd gotten a call to come to the Webber house immediately and was very glad he responded in time. "What the hell is going on here?"

Carly backed off but still glared daggers at Elizabeth, whose teeth were gritted and fists clenched.

"She told Jake that I asked you to give him to me and Lucky."

Jason's eyes widened and his grip on Carly loosened as his hands fell listlessly to his side. "You did what?"

"It was an accident," she repeated, honestly seeming to believe it. "I was just talking to him and it came out."

"You had no reason to talk to him!" Elizabeth burst out.

Carly's face contorted in disgust. "So now you're trying to control who he does and doesn't get to talk to? Do you even listen to yourself?"

"Carly." Jason's eyes were like ice, to say nothing of his demeanor. "What did you do?"

She tipped her chin up in the air, her posture defensive. "I went to talk to Jake."

"Why?"

She snorted. "You, too? Are you kidding? I've been around that kid since he was five. Neither you nor Elizabeth get to tell me when or where I can talk to him, or about what."

Jason closed his eyes, but that muscle in his jaw still ticked rapidly. "What exactly did you say?"

A moment of silence. And then, "I told him that you didn't give him up because you didn't want him. That you loved him and giving him up was the last thing you wanted and the last thing you would have done."

Elizabeth came up behind Jason's shoulder, her eyes blazing. "And that I made you give him up."

"You did!" Carly threw her hands up in the air. "Are you forgetting the past thirty years? You spent years chasing Jason around and when you finally got him in bed, you got your wish and got knocked up and then cut him out of his kid's life, ensuring that he would always follow you around like a puppy just to catch a glimpse of his son."

"Carly!"

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true," she hissed back. "And Jake's so big on the truth – her version of it – that I thought I'd even the playing field. You can't get mad at me for that. He spent so much of his life hating you that it's about time he realized you weren't completely to blame for this."

Jason's eyes were turbulent, positively blazing as he stared her down. "And what did this accomplish?"

Carly blinked, frowning slightly. "I-I just told you-"

He advanced on her, snarling. "He already hates me. Isn't that enough?"

Her lips parted in surprise. "This – if he found out the truth, he'd know it wasn't your fault! He knows it wasn't your fault!"

"And now he's going to push his mother away!" Jason practically bellowed. "How is it better for him to be angry with both of his parents instead of just one, huh, Carly? How is it better for Jake?"

She opened and closed her mouth, not having thought it out that far. "But – But he knows that you didn't want to-"

Jason growled under his breath and ran his hand through his hair. "As long as he thought that I was the one that walked away, at least he had his mother. At least he could look at her and think that she had always acted in his best interest without question. All his life, he thought that. And now his faith in her is – is –"

"Shaken," Elizabeth finished. "Destroyed. Because of you."

"Because of you and what you did," Carly hissed back. "Don't you dare try to lay all this on my feet. Jason, tell her she's not right. She wouldn't even be in this mess if she hadn't asked you to give your own son away. She was scared of your life, she was scared after Michael, fine, but she did this. She doesn't get to be mad that Jake knows all sides of the story now."

"He didn't get my side, he got yours!" she yelled back. "He got your twisted version of what you thought I did. My God, Carly, do you hate not being on the inside of this so much that you have to do this? Do you hate the fact that I had Jason's son that much that you'd stoop to this?"

"I didn't stoop to anything," she interrupted loudly, her eyes hard. "I told the truth. I told him what you did. And now the chips can fall where they may, and your son finally sees you for the woman you are."

"Get out." Elizabeth was absolutely seething. "I want you out of my house right now."

"I'm not leaving until Jason-"

"My mother asked you to leave." Jake's voice, strong and deliberate, boomed from the doorway, and all three adults turned to see him quietly shut the door and slowly amble down the two steps into the living room. His eyes flashed, but gave nothing else away. "Please do what she says."

Carly snarled and looked at Jason, who wasn't having any of it.

"You need to leave, Carly."

She looked at Jake again, knowing what would transpire after she did, and Carly knew that the three of them needed to have this conversation. Reluctantly, and muttering under her breath, she grabbed her clutch and stalked past Jake, who didn't even turn to watch her go.

Elizabeth wrung her hands together, apparently barely hearing it when Carly slammed the door shut, and looked at her son. Jason, too, turned to him, wondering if Jake would throw a tantrum about him once again showing up announced in Elizabeth's house. But he only had to look at the boy to realize that something was different tonight.

Jake didn't seem his normal brutally collected and composed self tonight. He looked nervous, a little anxious, a little out of his skin. He had his hands shoved in the pockets of his black suit pants, and his pale blue dress shirt was wrinkled and he had the sleeves rolled up halfway to his elbow. He licked his lips and looked away, as if collecting himself.

Elizabeth sucked in a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to go to him, talk to him, hug him, touch him, brush that stubborn lock of hair out of his face, but something held her rooted to the floor just as it did Jason. All three of them stood a pace or two away from each other in a room that suddenly seemed too small, too bright, too feminine.

Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other and peeked up at his mother, his eyes bright and a little lost, a little scared. "Mom? Can I ask you something?"

She let out a quiet, almost shuddering breath. "Of course, baby, you can ask me anything."

He bit his lower lip and tried to be strong enough not to let his gaze waver from hers. "Did you – Did you ask Jason to give me away to Lucky?"

Jason's heart constricted in his chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out and it was probably for the best. Since he entered the house, Jake hadn't looked at him. This 

conversation was between him and his mother. And as always, Jason was just kind of there, lurking, in the background, the underlying current that held them together for better or for worse.

Elizabeth took a step toward her youngest, her fingers still twined together. "I only asked because I honestly believed it would be better for all of us."

Something shattered in Jake's vibrant eyes and they grew brighter and misted over, but he managed a small nod as his mother approached with her explanation.

"You wouldn't have been safe," she got out, her voice breaking. "Being Jason's son, it would have put you, me, and Cam all in danger."

His hands trembled and he ended up shoving them deeper into his pockets.

"I couldn't do it." Her lower lip trembled. "I couldn't put you boys in that position just because I wanted to be with Jason. If something had ever happened to either of you because of what Jason did for a living, neither of us would have forgiven ourselves. We couldn't put you boys in that position, and that meant that you couldn't be with – you couldn't be with Jason. It was so much safer if you were Lucky's."

Jake nodded again, the movement so small it was almost imperceptible, and a pit of fear and dread grew in Jason's stomach. He'd seen that look before, usually when he'd looked in the mirror. And he hoped to God he was wrong about what he thought would end up happening by the time Elizabeth finished explaining.

"And when I was pregnant with you, Lucky…" She shook her head, and a few fat tears clung to her lashes. "He was addicted. To Hydrocodone – morphine. He was completely addicted and he wouldn't go to rehab. But then…but then he found out about you."

Her eyes shone with love and something else that Jason couldn't place as she reached up and brushed Jake's hair out of his face. He held entirely still under her hand and let her do it.

"He found out about you and you became his reason for everything. He stopped using pills and he checked himself into rehab. He was more serious about being a good father to Cam, about wanting to marry me again, about being a family. With you. Because of you. You turned his life around, Jake, from the second he found out about you. And I – I just couldn't take that away from him."

Jake's eyes were impossibly bright and he nodded again. Jason was amazed that his boy was still listening.

"Lucky was in love with the idea of being a father to you." Elizabeth swallowed roughly and tucked her hair behind her ear. "We got married again, we moved into the Spencer house. We painted your nursery. He couldn't stop talking about how happy he was to have us all back, how lucky he was, how everything was finally right and going his way and he never thought he'd get 

to feel this. And it was all because of you. Telling him that you were Jason's and making a family with Jason…it would have destroyed him. And I just couldn't do that."

She nodded as if to herself. "Lucky was a safer father. He was so wrapped up in the idea of you as his son. Everything fit so perfectly until it fell apart. And even after that, even after he found out and we got divorced, he was adamant about being a father to you boys. And I agreed. Because he was the only father you'd ever known. He – he was constant and – safe."

Elizabeth licked her lips and continued to look up at him. "That's why I did it. That's why I asked Jason to give you to me so that Lucky and I could raise you and give you the life you deserved. Keep you safe and happy, always."

Jason held his breath, every muscle in his body so tight that he thought he'd snap at any second. He waited for the yelling, for the tantrum, for the furniture being kicked around the room. He waited for something – anything. Anything would have been better than this silence, this soft hush that fell over the room now that Elizabeth had gotten everything off her chest.

In the end, Jake surprised all of them. He nodded again and clasped his mother's hand when he saw how she held it in a tight fist. Her fingers loosened under his hold and he held on to her for a moment longer before slowly letting go and nodding again.

He looked at Jason for the first time and then back at Elizabeth, blinking, and finally found his voice. "All right. I-I'm going upstairs for a bit, if that's okay."

She nodded quickly. "Of course, yeah. Sure."

Jake ducked his head and stepped up onto the foyer landing, then trotted up to the second floor. Elizabeth let out a whooshing breath and sank down onto the couch, and as Jason slowly lowered himself down next to her, they heard the water running in the hall bathroom upstairs.

"That…went better than I thought it would."

He nodded, still stunned. "Yeah, it did. I was expecting…I don't even know."

"I was expecting him to be so angry," Elizabeth confessed in a hushed voice. "He was so angry with you when everything came out. I-I expected him to feel the same way about me."

Jason reached out and took hold of one of her hands, clasping it between both of his own. She smiled softly and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his other arm around her. They sat together for a long moment until Jason heard creaking upstairs and frowned.

"What's that?"

Elizabeth listened in and then relaxed. "Oh. It's the sink in my bathroom. It gives me trouble sometimes. I think Jake's fixing it."

She rested against him once more and linked their fingers together, staring at the marked contrast between their hands, his large and tan one with her small and pale one. "I think…I think we're going to be okay. I think he's going to be okay."

"I hope so," Jason murmured. "I think it says something that he didn't…freak out or anything."

Elizabeth nodded eagerly. "Yeah. I think it's going to be okay. I'll – I'll have to talk to him some more."

They could hear Jake moving around upstairs, his footsteps slow. From the living room window, they could see Chase leaning against the SUV and smoking while one or two younger guards stood nearby.

"Will you stay?" She peered up at him. "Will you stay and talk to him with me? He needs both of us for this. I think – I think we might actually make some progress tonight. Didn't you see? Carly told him what happened and she said he believed her, but he still came home to ask me to clear it up. He's ready to listen, Jason, I think he really is."

They heard him coming down the stairs and Elizabeth jumped up, pulling him with her. She sucked in a quick breath and turned, ready to talk to him again, but her words died on his lips, replaced with a frown when she saw him set down his red gym bag, the one he used for basketball practice during high school. His room upstairs was a shrine to his younger years, and she wasn't surprised that he had it. She was just surprised to see it sitting at his feet, looking like it was almost full.

Elizabeth took a step closer as Jake turned the knob and opened the door halfway. Chase and two other guards could be seen stubbing out their cigarettes, and that pit of dread in Jason's stomach returned, telling him that he should have known better.

Jake stepped down into the living room and reached for his mother, pulling her into a close hug. Elizabeth returned his embrace, wrapping her arms around him almost desperately as if she could keep her baby close to her by sheer force of will alone. Jake closed his eyes and turned his face into her hair, holding her for a long moment.

Finally, he pulled back and managed a small smile. "I love you, Mom."

Her hands slipped from his broad shoulders not because she wanted them to, but because Jake had straightened and he was so damn tall. "I-I love you, too. Baby, what-"

Chase knocked twice on her halfway open door and poked his head in, flashing the three of them a tight smile and nod. When he entered with the younger guards, Elizabeth and Jason saw that the three of them carried a couple collapsed black duffle bags, perhaps the same kind they used to transport cash or something else he didn't talk about. Jake turned on his heel and walked up to him, stooping to pick up his gym bag. It looked ridiculous, hanging from his shoulder as he stood 

there in wrinkled formal dress. Elizabeth was close enough to hear what he said to his guard; Jason wasn't, but didn't need to hear the actual words to know what was going on.

"Upstairs, second door on the left. Clean it out and have a guy come by tomorrow morning to shampoo the carpet."

"Got it, Boss."

Chase clapped him on the shoulder, and Elizabeth gasped as the guards moved into the house, letting her son step out. He walked out the door and down her beloved cobbled walkway, and she knew he was leaving their home for the last time.


Elizabeth was devastated.

She'd stood numbly in the living room until Chase came downstairs with the first load of Jake's things and then she'd practically attacked him, insisting that he wasn't going to take her son's things away and that they were going right back upstairs to his room. Chase had gently broken her hold on him, returned her to Jason, picked up the duffel bags, and calmly walked out again. And Elizabeth had stood there, doing her best not to vomit, as they cleared out the last of Jake's belongings and left her house, leaving the street quiet once more.

She was barely aware of collapsing onto the couch once they were gone, and all this time later, the tears still hadn't stopped. Her baby had walked out.

Jason sat with her, his arms comfortingly around her, holding her against his chest as she sobbed. He did his best not to let his own tears fall, but it was damn near impossible with her in his arms like that, sounding as if each sob would tear her apart and cause her to shatter into a million small pieces.

It was late, very late, but he knew there was no way she'd be able to go asleep. Not after what happened. So he just wrapped his arms even tighter around her and held her, hoping that he would be able to provide at least the smallest measure of comfort, even after all these years of not being there for her. The thought that she'd probably cried just like this on the couch the day he broke their engagement and left was too much for him to bear, and he buried his nose in her hair and rocked her gently.

There was a soft knock on the door, and then they heard a key in the lock. Elizabeth gasped and sat up, and Jason knew she hoped it was Jake. But he knew that it wouldn't be.

Cameron poked his head in and quietly slid his key from the lock and back into his pocket. He shut the door and slowly walked into the living room, around the coffee table, and over to where his mother was sitting. He shared a knowing look with Jason, and the older man realized that Cameron knew exactly what would transpire before he came over, meaning that he and Jake had already had time to discuss this and that Jake had made his thoughts known.

Gently, he swept his mother's damp hair out of her face and then settled a hand on her clasped hands. "Hey, Mom."

She sniffled and tried for a wobbly smile but didn't quite make it. "Jake left."

"I know." Cameron pursed his lips together. "I know."

"Carly told him," she got out, "she told him that I – I asked Jason to give him up. I ex-ex-explained to him why I did it."

Jason watched her oldest son give her hands a reassuring squeeze. "I know you did, Mom."

"He left anyway." Her eyes swam with fresh tears. "He took his things and left. I tried to explain. I t-told him that I-I couldn't take him away from Lucky, that he was safer with us and he was listening, he was nodding, but th-then he left. It was like…it was like…it was like he completely shut down. He completely shut down."

Cameron's brown eyes were soft but troubled. "I think he did. All – Mom, you have to understand, all his life, he thought you were the victim in this. He thought you never had a choice. He thought that Jason used you and then threw you away."

Jason tensed, his hand on her shoulder tightening, but Cameron was too focused on his mother to shoot him a properly apologetic look.

"He thought that you never had a choice, that this was all forced on you. That you were unhappy all because of Jason, because of what he did. All his life, he thought that at least that one thing was true: that all the unhappiness in your life could be traced back to Jason, that he was responsible for all of it. And today…today he found out that even though a lot of it was still true, you asked Jason to give him up. And if you hadn't, it was likely that none of this would ever happen."

Her shoulders broke with a loud sob, and Cameron sighed, squeezing her hands again. "You told him, Mom. Like you said, you told him your side of it. And he couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle thinking that you were a little at fault in this, too, just like Jason was. It threw off everything he thought he knew because he always took you out of the equation. All his life…and then he found out…"

Cameron shook his head. His voice when he spoke was gentle but pained, ripped and ragged. "Mom, you broke his heart."

Elizabeth covered her mouth with her hand, and Jason knew that Cameron would have said something else, that he wouldn't have left her with that remark without tempering it in his classic way, without telling her something else that would give her hope and reassure her that things weren't broken for good, but unfortunately they were interrupted by his pager.

Cameron, who was technically done for the day, frowned and unclipped the device from his belt, and Jason suddenly realized what Elizabeth must have felt like all those times he left her because he got a call from Carly.

He read the message and, his frown deepening, shot up to his feet, frantically feeling around for his keys. "Oh, no. Oh, shit, no."

The first thought that leapt to mind was that something had happened to Jake, that his son had gone out and gotten plastered and done something stupid and dangerous. "What is it? What's wrong?"

But it was another kind of emergency. "My patient just went into wide complex tachycardia," Cameron explained grimly. "I have to get back to the hospital."

His sober brown eyes shot to Jason's. "You'll, uh, you'll stay with her, won't you? Please? I would if I could, but there's no way-"

"I will," Jason promised. "Go."

Cameron patted her knee once more and rose, pressing his lips to her forehead. "I'll be by tomorrow, okay, Mom? Promise. I'll see you then."

Elizabeth just closed her eyes as he left her, leaning fully into Jason's side as she heard him pull the front door open and step out into the late night.