On Relationships
(general series spoilers for Season 4 episode 4, Time's Up)
On Drew Bedford's gifts to Stella.
Mac: You and I are alike in a lot of ways, we both do everything we can to avoid this sort of thing. Sometimes you just gotta take the plunge.
Stella: So you're telling me to fall for all of this?
Mac: Stella, Peyton pursued me. I never thought I'd enjoy another relationship either, forget about all the risks of romance and enjoy the rewards."
DFSDFSDFSDFSDFSDFDSDFS
Despite Mac's advice, Stella decided she'd rather listen to her instincts when it came to Drew Bedford. She had checked him out in their computer records and he was clean, but she still wasn't satisfied. After almost being killed by Frankie Mala more than a year ago, she hadn't had a new boyfriend, nor was she looking for one.
Mac on the other hand seemed like he was doing well with Peyton. I still can't believe it; Mac is giving positive advice on relationships. He must really be blissfully happy.
She was happy for him, but the feeling was bittersweet. .
Mac has Peyton. Danny has Lindsay, and now Flack has a girlfriend too.
It wasn't that she was jealous; but people in new relationships always spent as much time together as possible. She doubted any of her male friends will have time to spend with her now that they had girlfriends.
Oh well. D&G have an amazing collection this season, so I can use some overtime money. Plus there're several movies I've wanted to rent.
Stella smiled slightly at her plan to keep herself from feeling idle. She knew that as long as she kept herself busy, she'd have no time to feel lonely.
Then that night, as she went to put a file on Mac's desk, a paper dropped. She picked it up and saw that it was a letter from Peyton.
She broke up with him! Today, of all days, when he was talking about how happy he was!
The cruel irony was too much. Stella looked for Mac, wanting to make sure he was okay. But he wasn't in the lab. And his things; his wallet, his gun and his phone weren't in his office either.
He must have left for the night. Could he really have forgotten to lock his office?
Locking the door for him, Stella decided she'd drop by his apartment to give him the key before going home.
It's just as well. It'll give him a chance to talk, if he needs to. Though, knowing him, I doubt he'll bring it up.
But just as she got in her cab, she remembered it was the day when Mac played guitar. Glancing at her watch she saw there was still enough time to go home and change her clothes before his performance started. So she gave the cabbie directions to her apartment, and asked him to wait for her when she arrived. It didn't take her long to decide on what to wear. One of the rare compliments Mac had given her was to mention that red was his favorite color.
Actually, it wasn't exactly a compliment. I was just wearing red that day, and he said he thought it was a great color for women. Stella mused. Putting on a red top, she ran downstairs quickly, got into the cab and headed for the club where Mac played.
The club was more crowded than usual, but Stella managed to find a seat not too far from the stage. As she expected Mac didn't look like he was enjoying himself. He was usually at his most cheerful when playing, but Stella could tell that night he was doing so automatically. His heart just wasn't into the music. Then he saw her, smiled a bit, and became more involved in the performance.
Stella had to fight the tears of sympathy.
Afterwards she gave him his keys. And looking at her expressive face he knew that she knew. But neither said anything. Instead, they sat together, drinking and talking. And an incredibly nostalgic feeling overcame Stella.
I'm sorry about the circumstances, but this feels good, like old times. Like we're back in the relationship losers circle, but we don't mind, because it feels familiar, comfortable; and because we're in it together.
She suddenly realized how much she had missed him since he started seeing Peyton. How much she missed the intimacy they shared. But she would never let such emotions prevent her from being there for him, from giving him the advice she knew he needed.
"So what are you going to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"Mac, Peyton made you happier than I've seen you since," she faltered, then continued, deciding she didn't have to shy away from the subject anymore, "since Claire died. Just this morning, when you were telling me to go for the guy that sent me the parachute, when you brought up Peyton, you looked so content and happy. You can't just let it end like this. Not if you meant what you said to me."
Mac sighed, looking down at his drink. Stella reached over and patted his hand.
"I just want you to be happy. At least make sure you don't have any regrets."
Mac raised his stormy blue eyes and looked her, and gave her a sad smile, then nodded slightly.
Author's note: *sigh* I love Stella.
