Genre: Humor/Drama

Rating: K+

Characters: Central 46

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

The Central 46 were holding a meeting, sitting on their proper seats in their cavern-like meeting hall, discussing a very important matter.

"It's boring in here," #32 complained.

"Don't speak like that!" #13 scolded him. "This is the most comfortable place in Seireitei! We want for nothing!" #32 suppressed the urge to sigh. They lacked nothing, expect any excitement. And girls. There weren't any pretty girls. He looked at #13. She was an old hag with a shrill, grating voice, but after all the centuries of being isolated in the Tower of tranquil spirit, he was beginning to think she was a bit attractive. This time he sighed. That was an unmistakable sign that the life here sucked.

"And we are the ultimate authority in Soul Society," #27 added. "We can dress down anybody, including the sotaichou. What's not to like about it?"

"That's right!" #25 agreed.

"But #32 is right," #41 pointed out. "When was the last time we could do that? It's been awfully quiet lately."

"That's true," #8 nodded. "It's been over a year since we had a criminal to judge."

"Stop speaking like that!" #13 shrieked. "We are the most privileged! There's nothing to complain about."

"Expect you," #32 snapped. #13 gasped for breath.

"What did you just say?" she demanded.

"That I love you, my dear," #32 replied, somehow managing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "Would you like to come to my room tonight?"

"You... you..." #13 was at a loss of words. #12 had to take her out to get some fresh air and calm down.

"Good work, #32," #41 praised him. "Now we got rid of that witch, we can get back to business."

"Finally," #8 agreed. "I really miss some action. I can't wait for the next time we'll judge someone."

"That might take some time," #19 said. "As #41 pointed out, the shinigami have been on exceptionally good behavior lately."

"Maybe we can find someone else to judge," #36 suggested.

"Good idea," #19 agreed, "but who?"

"What about #13?" #32 suggested.

"That won't work," #41 disagreed. "We can't judge one of our own. It must be someone on the outside."

"But it's been awfully quiet," #19 commented. "Now a hundred years ago, those were some interesting times."

"Yes," #32 agreed dreamily. "Eight executions and two banishments, that was glorious. We don't have the opportunity to do something like that often."

"And there were so many captains among them," #36 added. "That doesn't happen often. Those were such glorious executions."

"What executions?" #10 asked. "They all escaped, don't you remember?"

"They did?" #36 blinked in surprise. "How comes we weren't informed?"

"You are senile, aren't you?" #10 asked. "They escaped right from here!"

"Oh, I remember now," #36 replied. "Urahara was claiming his innocence. Hmm, now that reminds me, shouldn't we have investigated? Just to pass some time, of course?"

"Why?" #32 asked. "That would be just wasting time!"

"It's better than just sitting around," #36 disagreed.

"And what if it turned out he was really innocent?" #41 asked. "That would have meant no execution!"

"Oh, you're right," #36 agreed. "No investigations then. Just shouting at the suspect is easier and much more fun than some investigation anyway."

"Good old times," #19 smiled. "We haven't ordered so many executions at once since then."

"What about the modsouls?" #10 reminded him.

"They don't count," #19 replied. "They were just some pills."

"Yes," #32 agreed. "Smashing some little balls cannot compare to executing real people."

"Now the Quincy, that was something different," #44 remembered fondly.

"Or the Bounto," #15 added.

"Are there even some Bounto alive still? Or Quincy?" #11 asked.

"I think so," #10 answered. "Should we order the Gotei 13 to hunt them down?"

"Now that sounds like an idea," #32 agreed.

"Don't get ahead of yourselves," #41 chided. "They are still alive because they're in hiding."

"I bet the Gotei 13 can find them," #32 stated.

"If they could, there wouldn't be any more left," #3 pointed out.

"So who else can we execute?" #19 asked.

"What about the next criminal, no matter what he did?" #28 suggested.

"That sounds like a plan," #30 smiled.

"But what if there are no criminals?" #19 asked. "It's been so quiet lately."

"Then let's make more laws!" #25 suggested. "That way it will be harder to uphold them all!"

"That's a brilliant idea," #32 praised him. "So what should we forbid?"

"Now that's a tricky question," #41 said deep in thought. "What did we forbid so far? #10, you usually keep track of such things."

"Even I don't remember everything," #10 replied.

"Then let's just execute the next person to come here," #36 suggested.

"Yes, that's clever!" #25 agreed. "Let's forbid bothering us under capital penalty!"

"Great!" #32 cheered. "Let me get the proper forms and we'll make it a law."

Just as he said it, the doorbell chimed.

"Our first victim is coming!" #41 rejoiced.

"We didn't write the law yet!" #32 panicked.

"Does it matter?" #19 shrugged. "We'll just make it retroactive."

"Yes, so many convicts," #14 pointed out.

"Be quiet, he's almost here," #6 said. The room miraculously turned from a place where old men were having a childish squabble into the supreme court of law inspiring fear in the heart of anyone who entered. The door opened and the intruder walked in.

'Oooh, a captain,' #32 thought. 'It's been so long since we executed one.'

"How dare you disturb us," #1 spoke in a bellowing voice. It had no effect on the newcomer.

"I came to tell you three words," Aizen replied. "Shatter, Kyouka Suigetsu."