Woo! Less than two weeks between updates! I hope you guys like this chapter! I won't be going too deep into the gameplay over the next few chapters but we will have some (what I hope is interesting) original content come up. I'll keep this short so thank you all for sticking with me during my slow writing period and I hope I can do better by you all. Thank you all for reading/following/favoriting and reviewing!
Chapter 48
"So, Tali," Kasumi said while drumming her fingers on a bottle before she began to pour another glass and slid it down to the waiting hands of Jack, "tell us some stories about the old Normandy crew."
She crossed her legs, folding her hands in her lap, "What kinds of stories?"
Kasumi smiled from under her hood and looked at Jack who grinned back. "Well, I was thinking about something along the lines of…"
"Who was banging?" Jack blurted out.
Kasumi shot Jack a look, "I wasn't going to put it so crassly… but, yes."
"Banging?" It took her a second to realize the actual meaning, "Oh… oh! I don't think… I mean… I don't believe anyone was. Why do you want to know?"
"Mostly curiosity," Kasumi smirked, "But there are some on this ship and I was just wondering if there were any on the first Normandy. Humans being what we are."
"I don't think there were any. It was an Alliance ship, so fraternization is pretty frowned upon."
"Reeaalllyyy…?" Jack drawled out, "Not even you and John?"
Tali sucked in a breath, "What? I – I, no!"
"Why the shock, sweetie?" Kasumi chuckled.
"Yeah," Jack piped up, "he's a sweet piece of ass. I'm not the relationship type but I wouldn't mind taking him around the block a time or two."
"Well… I mean… Why would you even suggest it?" Tali quietly said.
"Oh, don't worry about it," Kasumi left from behind the bar to sit next to Tali, "I've seen the way you look at him. And the way you don't look at him."
The way Tali stared (Jack assumed she was staring) at Kasumi told Jack she was wondering how, "Kasumi cloaks through the ship. She spies on everyone."
"Not you."
"Not anymore you mean."
Tali smiled, "Now that is a story I want to hear."
Jack shrugged, "Not much of one. I could feel her eyes creeping on me and I biotic pushed her into a wall."
"I still don't know how you knew I was standing there."
"Lots of experience being watched by guards and inmates. A lady has got to know the fastest way to nullify the opposition." She finished off her drink and pointed at Tali, "And you still haven't really answered."
Tali fiddled with her fingers and looked down, "There was something, I think, between us… at one point… That," she sighed, "that has passed. John and I… we never did anything. And then I thought selfishly and made a mistake. I've ruined my chance."
Kasumi patted her on the shoulder, "Let me ask something… were you the one who pursued him to begin with?"
"I don't see how that matters…" Tali said.
"Yeah, me neither," Jack reached over for the bottle and didn't bother with pouring it into a glass.
"Just answer."
"He pursued me first. I always brushed him aside."
"You're fine then," Kasumi said simply.
"But…" Tali looked at Jack for an explanation but she only shrugged. "But I really hurt him. What if I just turned him away too many times?"
"Look, yes, he is hurt and it is hard for him to deal with being close to you now but he will forgive you. Just give him some time. He'll come back."
Jack arched an eyebrow but quickly went back to her drink so she could hide her own disbelief. Even without seeing Tali's face, she could tell that the quarian didn't quite believe it either.
"I don't know…" Tali muttered.
"Fine, don't believe me? I'll do some recon on him. And I'll be expecting an apology when this is over with." She looked over at Jack, "I expect one from you too."
"An apology? From me? I didn't even do anything."
Kasumi rolled her eyes and went back to Tali, "Anyway… We can talk about you and John later. We really want to know about someone else."
"Another two, well… three? I guess?" Jack added.
Tali looked at Jack quizzically, "Who?"
"Shepard," Kasumi said simply.
Tali already knew to whom they were referring, it was a question in her mind too.
"I think you're being too vague, thief," Jack added. "So, were – are – Shepard and Garrus a thing? And if so, how long after Shepard and Kaidan stopped fucking?"
Tali tilted her head, "How do you know about Kaidan?"
"So they were together!" Jack accused throwing her hand forward in a point and almost spilling the bottle.
"Yes? Well, no, not really. Jane told me that they almost hooked up before they served together but she blew him off because it seemed like he wanted something serious. She left it open with some line about if it was meant to be they would see each other again and then they were on the same crew. He latched onto that apparently. I know things got a little tense when things were wrapping up with Saren and the Citadel but they kind of fixed things afterwards. They seemed to just be friends."
"Hmph…" Jack leaned back against the bar, mulling over the new information, "Well, if that's it, I don't know why he got so attached. It certainly seemed like they were much more than just friends when they reunited."
"You were there?!" Tali exclaimed jumping up to sit next to Jack at the bar.
Jack quirked up an eyebrow, surprised at the sudden interest. "Uh, yeah."
"What happened? I asked about Kaidan and Shepard got really weird about it and when John asked she snapped at him. It seemed like a really sensitive topic."
"Oh, so she hasn't told you yet?" Jack asked quietly, kind of surprised and wondering what happened between the two old friends that Shepard wouldn't share her troubles with the quarian. "He kind of went off on her. She asked him how he was and he went crazy. Started blowing up and throwing accusations at her. He threw her family in her face, basically accused her of selling her soul to the devil. Not that I don't compare Cerberus to the devil's dick occasionally but I wouldn't say that Shepard likes being here either. Anyway, Garrus tried to step in and Kaidan went off on him too. Mocked Shepard by asking if she and the turian were fucking or if she was leading him on… It was intense."
"What did they do?" Tali asked, her eyes big.
"Nothing. Both Shepard and Garrus walked away. It's a shame really, I would have paid to see Garrus beat him to a bloody pulp."
"Wow…" Tali said turning away slightly and staring at the far wall, "I know that Kaidan could get a little fired up at times but I'm still surprised."
"Don't worry, he didn't completely get away with it. I punched him."
"What did Shepard say?"
Jack shrugged, "She didn't see but I did get approval from Garrus."
Tali chuckled, "I wish I could have seen that."
"So, this leads to the next big topic…" Kasumi said as the conversation subsided. "Are Shepard and Garrus together? Or have they been?"
"I…" Tali started. What would she say? She barely knew where they were in their lives, what had happened to them. She didn't know what was between them anymore than what was between them before. "Well, okay… so on the first Normandy, we actually had a bet about when they would get together. As far as I know, they never have. I know – before – that Shepard liked him and I am almost positive Garrus liked her. But I don't know anymore. Two years has happened since I have seen either of them. Things could be totally different now."
"Well, it at least hasn't been two years for Shepard," Kasumi said. "I've heard her say it before. It's like she just woke up. She doesn't feel the two years. She just knows that everyone has changed while she was away."
Tali had thought about that before but she was never sure. Keelah… "It must be so lonely for her then, knowing that everyone else moved on while she was gone." She hung her head, "I feel horrible."
"But you're here now," Kasumi said. "It's a new start."
Tali nodded.
"Alright, I know this will sound rude but I don't do well with emotions. So, when are we starting our own bets?"
Tali chuckled while Kasumi shot Jack a sharp look. "At least you are acknowledging that it is rude," Kasumi said.
Tali began, "Liara had said it was going to be the night before we arrived at Ilos, I had said after we finished with Saren, Joker said on Garrus's birthday, Wrex had said it would be the next time Garrus joined the crew."
"It was just you four?"
"Ashley wouldn't take a stance and of course we never mentioned this to Kaidan OR John."
Jack nodded and asked, "So we doing this or not?" as the door opened, unable to stop herself when she saw who the guest was.
"Are we doing what?" Shepard asked, smiling.
Everyone went quiet for a long moment, prompting Shepard to think that she wasn't really invited but it had just been mentioned to her to be nice.
"Shots," Jack smiled, raising a bottle. "You in?"
"I would be I have a mission within the next day. Don't stop on my account though."
"Well…" Tali stammered, trying to get out of their last conversation, "Of course I won't be taking any."
"Don't worry," Kasumi said, "Next time we dock I'll get some quarian safe alcohol for you. That way we can all take part. You'll be drinking with us by that point too, right, Shepard?"
Jane smiled, "If you plan it on our next leave or when there is enough time between missions, then absolutely."
The trio hesitated unsure what to talk about since they couldn't return to their original topic; this lead to Shepard feeling like the odd woman in out, yet again.
Once again, Jack was the one to save the awkwardness. "What's this mission we're heading off towards?" Why am I the only one keeping a conversation going. It's not really my forte.
"It's a personal mission for Jacob. Let me know when any of you need help and we'll take care of it."
"Oh, none of us are invited then," Jack glared. She paused before saying, "Good," and downed another few gulps from the bottle.
"For personal missions I figure I'll let you guys choose your team – within reason."
"Um… so who did Jacob pick for the team?" Kasumi asked quietly.
"He hasn't said yet but it will take us a while to get there so he has time." Silence once again fell around them, Jane wasn't going to risk another one. "Anyway, I'll let you all get back to what you were discussing before I interrupted. See you around."
Tali could hear the drop in Shepard's tone, she sounded hurt. Once again, Tali felt guilty. She stood, hoping to stop Shepard from leaving but didn't know what to say and the woman was gone.
"Do you need some balls to talk to your old friend?" Jack asked. "Because you can borrow mine."
Kasumi glared at Jack behind Tali's back and mouthed, "Very sensitive. Thanks."
Jack shrugged in response.
"It's just weird being here. I'm still having a hard time accepting that she's back. I can't get the last two years out of my head," Tali said quietly sitting back down.
"Alright… how 'bout something to get your mind off of that?" Jack asked. She saw the two looks she was now receiving and grinned, "Going back to our previous conversation… One other pairing question." Even though she couldn't see either of their eyes she was almost sure they were rolling them. "Do you think Shepard and Joker ever got it on?"
"What?!" the others exclaimed almost in unison.
Tali followed it up with more, "No way. Not a chance, ever."
Jack laughed into her bottle.
Jane went to the elevator but stood quietly in the small room, unsure what button to press. It still hadn't moved for a long time and she was actually a little surprised that it hadn't been called anywhere else.
EDI's hologram popped up, "If you would like to go to another part of the ship I can signal the elevator for you."
Jane couldn't help but smile at the quip. "Thanks, EDI. I just need to figure out where to go."
"You do not have rounds for another eight hours. Mr. Moreau is in the cockpit." Her volume dropped for the next sentence, "Vakarian is at his usual post."
She still couldn't get over how much the AI was developing; it was a bit unnerving. "Thank you for dropping the volume but I don't think so," I need to keep my distance, I think. "Where is John?"
"He is in Miranda's office."
"Really?"
"He spends most of his free time there. I believe it is to avoid others."
Jane nodded, "Then I guess up to my cabin. I'll squeeze some rest in before we get too close to the distress beacon."
"I agree that is a good course of action. Mr. Moreau and I have replotted a course that would cut off some of the standard travel time. Projections are still calculating but I can give you an updated time of arrival when it is known."
Jane was still busy thinking over everything when she blurted out, "Actually, no. I need to see John."
The elevator stopped and changed directions and soon opened. Thankfully, she hadn't passed the level by too much so she didn't have to wait. She casually walked through the level, heading for Miranda's office. The door opened and she saw the woman sitting in her usual seat. "How are you doing, Lawson?"
Miranda looked up and blinked, "Fine, thank you. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Just checking in," she sat down in the closest chair and called out, "How are you, John?"
Miranda stopped working and sat with her hands in her lap, and waited in silence with Shepard. Finally, an answer came with a heavy sigh.
"I'm fiiinnnneee…" John replied. He stuck his hand out from around a corner and waved.
"Are you sure?" Jane said, smiling and shaking her head at no one in particular.
"Yes…"
Jane looked at Miranda who nodded. She began to type again and whispered, "He really is okay. I think he would just like some time to himself. Apparently everyone keeps bothering him. He doesn't really talk about it."
"I don't talk about it because everyone wants to keep talking to me!"
"So you're going to act like you're five?" Jane retorted.
"Yes."
"John," Jane started, "don't you think we just want to catch up? All of us have barely seen you."
"No one seemed to care about that two years ago."
Jane saw Miranda roll her eyes. When she saw she had been caught she quickly looked away, trying to look consumed by her work.
"Well, to be fair, I didn't choose to not talk to you."
Silence.
"Alright, you found me," John finally said back. "Now it is your turn to hide and I will come seek."
"It's a little hard to play hide and seek on a ship with video cameras and an AI," Miranda added.
"That would be called cheating."
Jane sighed and rolled her eyes and even rocked her head back dramatically. "Why are you in here, John? Why not in your own room? You made a big deal about wanting a space of your own."
John wasn't going to give an answer but Miranda would. She sighed heavily, more exasperated with John than with what she was about to say, "It's because no one here likes me so he knows no one is going to come here looking for him. And, even if they do, they won't want to stay long enough to get past me to him."
"Yeah… sorry about that," John said.
Jane looked at Miranda, "I'm sorry, Miranda" but Miranda only shrugged. "Alright, John, you can come out of your time-out when you are ready. Hope you feel better about whatever it is."
"Bye, thanks for stopping by. One-hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven…"
Miranda typed out a message and sent it to Jane's omni: I'll let you know when he stops acting like a child.
Jane replied: That might be a few years, but thanks.
Lawson watched the door close behind Shepard and gave John a few more seconds before she asked, "So are you going to keep using me as a buffer for everyone who wants to talk to you?"
"Look, I'm sorry. I just need some space for a while."
"From your own sister?"
"Yeah, everyone. She wants to talk to me about something just like everyone else."
"Maybe it's important."
"Maybe it's not."
She sighed, "Maybe you should let someone finish a sentence so you know if it is important or not?"
"Do you hear yourself right now? You've been finishing all kinds of sentences!" John came out from around the corner and sat at one of her chairs.
Miranda stopped working, folded her fingers together, gently placed them on her desk and looked up at John. "Why won't you even face Shepard?"
He looked at her for a long moment, "Okay… can I trust you to keep this to yourself and not make a big deal about me talking to you?"
"Yes."
He pressed his lips together. "I keep seeing what you guys did to her."
She furrowed her brow, "What we did? We brought her back."
"Sorry… I mean… the way she looked before. It's not constant. It's like when she is out on a mission I see her as she always was but when she is in casual clothes I just keep seeing how she looked on that table." He shook his head, "I didn't think it would be an issue."
"This is why we didn't want you to see her back then. It's hard for those closest to the patient to forget or let go. It will take time."
"I just feel guilty."
"Shepard will always forgive you. She's your sister."
"She's not the only one I feel guilty about."
"Tali'Zorah?"
"Yeah," he grunted.
"What about her?"
"She hurt me so much when she left and I want to make her feel what I did but… I don't want to either. I want to avoid her so that I don't say something hurtful but then I realize that not speaking to her hurts her and then I feel awful. And I'm being selfish because I'm worried that she might say something to hurt me again. I don't know if I want her back or if I want her to move on so I can."
Miranda couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Accept her apology and hear what she wants to say. But I can't help you figure out if you want to get back together with her… or whatever you two were."
"Geeze… what kind of shrink are you?" John crossed his arms, "I'm not paying for this session."
"Who else is trying to talk to you?"
John sighed, "Garrus… I used to talk to him about everything but then he left on a self-discovery trip or whatever and now I don't know if he will stick around. Whenever he tries to talk to me he keeps trying to bring up me and Tali and I really don't think I want to talk to him about that."
Miranda nodded, "Except, what if that isn't what he wants to talk to you about?"
"What else would it be?" John scoffed.
She shrugged, "It was just a suggestion." Miranda turned away from him and went back to her work.
"Thanks, Miranda. This is why I like you. You're not too into the whole feelings thing… no offense."
"None taken."
Tali glanced over at the humans to her right. The two looked busy enough that they may not notice her leave for a moment of peace. She typed a little more on her console and transferred some of the information to a data pad and went into the core, acting like she was going to take some readings. When she was out of sight, she leaned on the railing, letting out a sigh. It had been a few days since she had run into John and besides seeing him once in the Mess (where he had quickly dodged her) he had been almost absent. Kasumi was the only one who seemed to know where he was all the time, and that was in Miranda's office. I suppose that AI knows too… she thought, but I am NOT asking that thing. And why is he always in there? Are they… together?
She felt empty. She wondered if this was what human's meant when they say their heart is broken. What if she talked to Jane about it? Jane could help her but she seemed to be acting a little strange, more formal than what Tali remembered. Maybe she could ask Garrus. Yeah, Garrus… She left the core, tossing the datapad on top of the console and heading towards the elevator. When she was on her transport, she folded her hands and paced. What would she say? Why did she rush into this? Why was she acting so out of character? When the doors opened she hesitated. Should she really go talk to Garrus? Maybe this was a mistake.
She heard the elevator beep at her, signaling that it was about to be called elsewhere. She hesitantly stepped forward then skipped out as the doors began to close. As she made her way to the main battery, she stared at Miranda's office, only taking her eyes off when she could no longer crane her neck.
John edged along the med-bay window watching as she stared at Miranda's office. She hadn't seen him.
"You should really go talk to her," Karin said behind her desk.
"Is that going to be everyone's advice to me?"
"It's a better option than stalking."
"I'm not stalking," he mumbled.
"Of course," she agreed cheerfully. These Shepards… Why are they so afraid of communicating?
Garrus turned as he heard his door open. He grinned, "I didn't think…" he stopped when he saw his guest, "uh… think you would come to see me."
She noticed the drastic change in his expression. Who was he expecting? "Hey, Garrus. Do you have a minute?"
"Well… I was, uh, in the middle of some calibrations…" he saw the way she fidgeted with her hands, her slumped posture, and her obvious disappointment at his words. "But I think they can wait. What's the matter?"
"Why would you think something is wrong?"
"Well, you've been on the ship for a while and besides occasionally running into each other when getting food, we don't visit."
She nodded, lowering "I know… I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry, it's my fault too. I could have gone to see you as well."
"I don't blame you either… I was just… I was wondering how is John doing?"
He leaned against his console, "He's not speaking to you?" She didn't respond but looked down at her wringing fingers. "He's not speaking to me either. Well, not about anything important. Lately, he has been dodging me."
"Oh," she started to pace near the wall, "I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should keep trying or if I should just give up." She twisted her fingers together. Stopping, she looked up at him, "I know it's not the same at all, but… what did you do?"
"What?" he asked shocked.
"What did you do when Shepard… disappeared…" she still couldn't say that Shepard had died.
He cleared his throat, "Uh, why would you ask that?"
"Please, Garrus, I know that you were interested in Shepard… Well, at least, it seemed like you were. We all thought so, the only exception being John. Now, again, it isn't exactly the same but I just need to know how you moved on. How did you get over her?"
"I…" didn't, "well, I got into some pretty self-destructive behavior. I wouldn't suggest my course of action."
"Well you seem able to be normal around Shepard now! It must have worked! I'm desperate here, Garrus!"
"I wouldn't wish what happened to me on you. I made a name for myself as a vigilante in one of the worst parts of the galaxy, then I got betrayed, and then had half of my face blown off. It puts your life in perspective a bit." Spirits, it feels like I am lying to her. Why couldn't I have just talked to John when I had the chance? How am I supposed to help her figure out what to do about him when I haven't even seen him since I had the moment with Jane?
Tali stopped moving. She suddenly felt very silly for acting the way she had been. "Keelah… I'm sorry, Garrus. Ugh, I should have asked earlier what happened to you I… I can't think straight! I can't focus on my work, on anything!"
How was he going to talk to her without actually telling her what was really going on? "Why don't we just catch up? Talk about what happened over the last two years. For both of us. Tell me about your research."
She sighed, "It would be nice to talk about the science of what I was doing. Even if you would be more interested in the equipment than the actual study."
"Sir…" Kaidan said shaking his head. Could he refuse? This was a big – huge – honor. "I don't know why I am being selected for this."
Udina grinned, the frown lines on his face fought the action, "It is because you are exceptional. Why the hesitation? Do you know how many people would kill for one of these tickets?"
"And I am flattered, sir. Honored. I just don't understand why I am being chosen and not…" someone else.
"You earned this on your own merits. Don't put yourself down for a second."
"Sir… may I speak candidly?" Kaidan waited for what seemed like forever until Udina nodded. "Is this really needed? We know that human colonies are being abducted and we have no way of finding out if we could even save them. Families don't know whether to mourn or keep hope. So, again, is this the best time for a celebration? Especially one that humans are hosting?"
The frown returned to Udina's face, "That is exactly why we need to continue with the event. We need to show the Council and the other races that we are still strong. We need to assure them that we can handle problems that come our way. We are not a juvenile species, bumbling around trying to figure out our place among them. We are leaders."
Kaidan nodded. Should he even ask if she would be invited? Would Udina tell him? He did think it was a little odd that since he had arrived back at the Citadel Udina had taken a liking to him; nothing drastic but there wasn't the obvious disdain for him that there once was. It concerned him. Who was to say that Udina wasn't getting ready to try and use him. But could he really be that blind? Of course not. He wouldn't be blinded by someone's kindness like Shepard had been. "Sir," he said as he saluted and turned to leave.
"You don't want to ask?"
He stopped. "Ask what, sir?"
"Ask if Shepard will be there."
"I assumed that I was invited because of my connection to her so I figured she would be as well."
Udina grimaced, turning his back towards Alenko, "Yes, Shepard will be invited and is expected to attend… despite my protests. Her current situation is frowned on by several but we couldn't NOT invite the 'Savior of the Citadel'." He turned back to Kaidan, "I thought you should know personally."
"Thank you, sir, but it won't be a problem to see her again. And, once again, thank you very much for the invitation."
"You're welcome. I will see you some other time. Perhaps at the event," Udina nodded a farewell and waited for the young man to leave. Shepard is a loose cannon, but Alenko may prove useful in the long run, especially with his connection to Shepard.
