Chapter 43
The last time Liam had been to the Blue Moon Café was with his boyfriend, Cody Miller. Well, actually, he couldn't remember ever being inside the Blue Moon Café without Cody Miller. During their last two years of high school, it had become their refuge, their go-to place when they wanted a good cup of joe and some time alone or in the company of good friends.
Coming out during his high school years had been quite the adventure for young Liam Caffrey. To say he'd been a late bloomer was somewhat of an understatement. It had taken him a while to figure out why his heart didn't go pitter-patter when the groupies from the high school's basketball team hung around the gym after games, batting their eyelashes at the team's players. What did however rock his boat was that cute guy with the dark hair he'd noticed in his biology class. It wasn't the first time Liam had noticed he got butterflies in his stomach around certain young men but it had been the first time he'd stopped to truly question what it all meant - and why, suddenly, he wanted to do something about it.
By the time Liam had finally put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out exactly what was going on, he'd found himself confiding about his evolving feelings to his uncle Mozzie who had encouraged him to talk to his parents. Actually following through and coming out to the two of them had taken a little longer. Not because Liam feared judgement or disappointment, just because when he finally said the words out loud, he knew there would be no turning back and that his life would be changing in so many ways.
Once he'd come out, he'd been disappointed to find that it wasn't all smooth sailing. Not everyone was as open and supportive as his immediate family members and close friends. There were the occasional nasty barbs from classmates and Liam was grateful for the support of his best buddy and fellow basketball player, Will Allenby, whose comment upon finding out about Liam's sexual orientation had been something along the lines of 'It's about time you said something.'
Being a respected athlete had insulated Liam from some of the hateful rhetoric but he and Cody had still been forced to face a number of ugly incidents throughout their years at White Plains High, including a particularly nasty episode where Cody had been seriously hurt and had ended up in hospital.
Unlike Liam, Cody Miller had always been an outspoken young man, an activist - even in grade school, he'd defended his right to wear what he wanted, to listen to the music he liked and to openly fawn over whoever he fancied. By the time he'd hit high school, he was out and proud and ready to rumble. When he'd found out that White Plains High hadn't yet organized a chapter of the Gay Straight Alliance, it took him about a minute and a half to start working on just such an ambitious project.
Will Allenby and his then girlfriend Josie had been one of the first recruits. Cody had met Will through one of his classes and the young man and his paramour had been more than happy to join the group as part of the 'straight' contingent of the equation. Will, who was no slouch and had figured out Liam's secret a long time ago, had dragged his best friend to his very first meeting of the GSA on a rainy Wednesday afternoon after school. When Liam had recognized the cute boy from his biology class, his heart had leapt out of his chest, his eyes had popped out of his head and he'd started on the slow but steady road to admitting, and finally celebrating, his homosexuality.
As far as first boyfriends went, it was hard to beat a guy like Cody Miller. He was sweet, kind, patient and supportive and he had the most incredible hazel eyes Liam had ever seen. But more importantly, he was respectful of Liam's less than flamboyant personality and his desire to live his gay life in his own quiet way. It had taken some time but they'd eventually come to terms with the fact that they were on opposite ends of the spectrum: Cody, outgoing and passionate, Liam, introverted and discreet. That didn't keep them from gradually growing into their relationship, complete in every way - including sexually. They had taken that journey of discovery together, exploring the joys of carnal pursuits while their friends and family members watched their relationship blossom from the sidelines.
Through trial and error, Liam had learned that there was a time and a place to be open about his sexuality and there were moments when self-preservation dictated a more discreet approach. Luckily, the Blue Moon had been a safe place for him and Cody. They spent hours in the café, doing homework, hanging out with friends and sipping run of the mill coffee. It was a safe zone where the two young lovers could be themselves without judgement or ridicule. Although they were wary of engaging in over the top public displays of affection, within the safety of the café, they allowed themselves the occasional loving touch and the odd peck on the cheek.
All in all, the place felt warm and safe and as Liam stepped into the café on this Friday evening just before closing time, he felt his chest puff up at the happy memories as a smile came to his lips.
'Sorry, we're closing in five minutes' came Crazy Josie's voice from behind the counter.
Her back was turned to the door and Liam called out, waiting for a reaction. 'I hear this place has amazing pecan brownies.'
She turned to face him and a bright smile lit up her old weathered face.
'Liam Caffrey! As I live and breathe!' the woman called out, shuffling to meet him halfway.
'Hey Josie!' he replied, giving her a warm welcoming hug.
'What the hell are you doing here? And at this late hour.'
'Like I said' he repeated, glancing at the small display case and spotting a few remaining sweets. 'I came for the brownies.'
Josie's eyes sparkled and she grabbed for a couple of mugs.
'Well, you're just in time. I was about to dump the last of the decaf.'
'Lucky me!' Liam replied, pulling up a chair.
WCWCWC
Once settled at the kitchen table between Neal and Sara, it was as if a water main had broken. Caitlin began telling the detailed story of how she and her mom had been having a perfectly pleasant conversation when Jesse had shown up unexpectedly - well, not so unexpectedly as far as her mother was concerned.
'She had it all planned' she complained. 'She's always trying to project this image of us as a happy family.'
Neal and Sara looked at each other with concern.
'What happened? What did she do?' Sara asked.
'She tricked me, that's what she did. Acting like she just wanted to meet up for coffee when all along, she was going behind my back, plotting with Jesse.'
Neal felt his fist tighten by his side at the mention of the young man's name. 'So Jesse was there?'
Caitlin nodded and sniffled.
'What did he want?'
She whimpered. 'He acted like nothing had happened. Like he hadn't come into this house with the intention of robbing us blind. Like I would just forget all the awful things he'd said to you.'
Sara took her foster daughter's hand in hers. 'So, what did you do?'
'I threw my apron down on the table and I ran out of there as fast as I could' she said looking up at Sara with tears in her eyes.
She waited a beat before continuing. 'And now, I've lost my job.'
'Oh, honey…' Sara said. 'You've always known your mom is messed up. She's had a rough life and she probably sees happy families around her and wishes her life could be like that too.'
'Well, it isn't. Our family is… it's not even a family! It's a fucked up mess. And so am I!'
'You are not a…' Neal hesitated before continuing '… a fucked up mess Caitlin. You're a smart, funny, talented young woman who can do anything she wants with her life.'
Caitlin looked from Neal back to Sara and blew her nose loudly. 'Why is my mom a drunk and an idiot? Look at Grandma, she managed to straighten herself out. Why can't Jackie be more like her?'
Neal let out a long painful sigh. 'Caitlin, Grandma wasn't always what you see today. She was messed up for a long, long time before she managed to straighten herself out. And besides, you can't compare people or what they're going through. Everybody is different.'
He hesitated before continuing. It seemed he was always walking that fine line between telling her the hard, painful truths about his mom and running the risk of denigrating her in Caitlin's eyes or letting her continue to believe the fantasy that it had always been puppies and rainbows between him and Linda. Which was definitely not the case.
'Honey, you didn't see all the ugliness between me and my mom when I was growing up. She was… struggling back then and she wasn't in any condition to take care of a kid like me. It wasn't… it wasn't like it is now. And it took a long time and a lot of patience and… an awful lot of good will to get us where we are today.'
Sara nodded. 'Grandma did the best she could back then' she added in an attempt to soften the blow. 'You have to believe that Jackie is trying to do the same.'
Caitlin looked up at her, eyes overflowing with unshed tears. 'But I don't want her in my life! I hate her!'
'That's your decision to make Caitlin' Neal reminded her. 'You always have the option of not seeing her anymore.'
'Why would she invite Jesse along when she knows full well what he did to me… to us. She knows I don't want to have anything to do with him.'
Neal nodded; he's had more than his fill of the young man and had no interest in crossing paths with him again. But if Caitlin eventually decided she wanted to reconcile with him, he would have to swallow his pride and find a way to help her through it.
'I hate them! Both of them!' Caitlin repeated, shouting loudly.
Once again, the couple exchanged worried looks. It had never been their intention to force a square peg into a round hole but they knew that, sometimes, you had to work an awfully long time on a relationship to get it to work for both parties. Linda and Neal's relationship was a testament to that very fact. The last thing Neal and Sara wanted was to encourage Caitlin to break her ties with her family only to have her regret her decision somewhere down the line. Burning bridges meant they could never be repaired, at least not easily.
'Hate is such a strong word honey' Neal reminded her.
'Didn't you hate grandma when you were young?'
Neal paused for a moment, giving it some thought before answering honestly; he owed her that much. 'I might have thought it was hate at the time but I guess, in hindsight, it was anger and hurt and sadness and disappointment. I don't think I ever really hated her.'
Caitlin listened, her eyebrows knitted.
'And stepping away from the situation for a while helped me get a better grip on things' Neal explained. 'It's important not to make rash decisions.'
Sara arched her eyebrow in his direction - 'a while' she thought as she reflected on the forty plus years Neal and his mom had been apart. He seemed to read her mind and gave her a dismissive look, returning his gaze to his foster daughter.
'I was lucky that both Grandma and I wanted to work at finding our way back to each other' he added, glancing at his wife. 'If it hadn't been for Sara, I would never have made that first move and Grandma would still be in St. Louis all by herself.'
Caitlin had grown quiet, taking in her foster parents' words of wisdom.
'And sometimes it just never works out… and that's okay, too' Neal continued. 'There are certain relationships that are poison and we shouldn't try to hang on to them at all costs.'
'Have you had relationships like that in your life?' she asked, turning to look at him.
'Of course I have' Neal replied thinking back to his conman days. 'Lots of them. Everybody does.'
'Like who?'
Neal hadn't expected such a pointed question.
'There were… people in my life when I was younger. They were bad influences on me' Neal confessed as the image of Matthew Keller flashed in his mind. 'I would have been better off walking away but in some cases, I… hung on for too long and it ended up getting me into trouble.'
'Do you think I should cut my mom loose once and for all?'
It wasn't the first time the young woman had asked that question, of herself and of her foster parents. Sara felt the need to jump in. As awful as Jackie had been to her daughter, she was hardly a hardened criminal like some of the people Neal was talking about.
'That's up to you, sweetie' she said wistfully. 'But I understand the urge to want to keep working at it. Jackie's your mom and you only get one mom.'
Neal nodded in agreement. 'It's hard to know the right thing to do. You just need to balance it out and try to see if the good in a relationship outweighs the bad.'
Caitlin stared back, her big blue eyes swimming in tears.
'And you're the only one who knows what's best for you' he added.
WCWCWC
Crazy Josie glanced over Liam's shoulder in the direction of the door to the café and grinned. 'I keep thinking Cody's coming in right behind you.'
Liam smiled sadly. 'I guess you heard. About our breakup.'
She nodded. 'Hey, I get it. Relationships are tough at the best of times, let alone when people are in two different cities.'
'You know, he still comes in here a lot' she added, pointing to a table nearby. 'Still sits at the same table you guys used to share.'
Liam glanced in that direction, sadness filling his heart. 'Oh yeah?'
'He comes in between his university classes. Still orders latte and a gingersnap cookie. Sometimes, he has friends with him, sometimes he's alone. I always get the feeling when he comes in alone that he's… he's thinking about the good old days.'
Liam nodded and sighed loudly.
'So, tell me. How's school? Everybody says you're a big basketball star, not that I follow that stuff very closely. The other day, Cody brought in a copy of the student paper from the University of Syracuse and your picture was on the cover. He looked mighty proud.'
Liam looked at her warily. 'Josie, you're not very subtle, you know. Are you sure you don't want to start writing a lonely hearts column in the local paper?'
She shrugged, her old tired face looking sad. 'Hey, what can I say? I'm the last of the romantics. And I call 'em like I see 'em.'
The room grew quiet. 'What happened to you guys anyway? I always thought yours would be the first gay wedding I'd get invited to. And I had my mind set on catering it' she added with a girlish giggle.
'Aww, you know. Life… It's hard enough to keep a relationship going at the best of times. It's practically impossible when you're constantly being torn apart. This way, Cody is free to date, meet other guys.'
'And what about you? Anybody special in your life?'
'There was… until lately. But… Cody kind of spoiled me for anyone else, you know. He's a hard act to follow.'
'You know people have long-distance relationships all the time' she said, searching his eyes.
There was silence as Liam reflected. Finally, the old woman spoke up.
'So, why do I have a feeling you're not here to talk about your love life?'
'It's Caitlin, Josie. She told me about what happened earlier, how you fired her.'
'Little bugger, she's so damn impulsive. She stormed out of here right in the middle of her shift and left me scrambling on my own.'
Liam raised his eyebrows in response. 'I thought you said she was a good match for this place.'
'She is… she was. The customers love her, she always wears a smile and she can put on a fresh pot of coffee in nine seconds flat — I've timed her.'
Liam chuckled at the visual of Caitlin working the coffee maker with efficiency.
'But I need to be able to count on my staff to be there when they're supposed to be.'
'Has she ever done this kind of thing before?' he asked, taking a sip of coffee.
'No… well, not exactly. She was a few minutes late a couple of months ago but I yelled at her… scared the living crap out of her and she's been fine ever since.'
'You know, Josie, Caitlin's had a really rough life. Did you know she lived in three different foster homes and had a couple of stints in group homes before she landed at our place.'
Josie leaned in to listen.
'Her mom's been in and out of jail since Caitlin was five years old and just when Caitlin thinks they can make a go of things, her mom messes up again. That's what happened today.'
The old woman remained quiet.
'She's… she's impulsive, I'll grant you that' Liam continued. 'And she can be annoying as all hell and loud and overbearing and…'
He shook his head. If his intention was to try to win Caitlin's job back, he'd better slow down on the vivid description of her personality.
'But Josie, deep down, Caitlin has a good heart. She's kind and caring and she's a really talented artist. She wants to do the right thing but sometimes she gets a little… sidetracked, that's all. Look, she could use a bit of a break.'
He looked at the woman, pleading with his eyes.
'You know, you two are cut from the same cloth: diamonds in the rough, that's what you both are' Liam added for good measure laying his hand on top of Josie's.
'So what are you saying? Did you come here to beg me to take that little shit back?'
'That depends. It is working?'
Josie rolled her eyes and let out a snort. 'Fine. Tell her to come in for her next regular shift.'
Liam smiled broadly.
'But tell her I'm not putting up with any more of her crap!'
Josie took one last sip of coffee and looked up at him. 'Whatever you do, don't go telling her I said those nice things about her. Wouldn't want her to get a swelled head.'
Liam winked at the woman and reached for the pecan brownie in front of him.
'It'll be out little secret.'
WCWCWC
Climbing up the staircase, Neal could hear the sound of Sara's soothing voice coming from Caitlin's room down the hall. For the time being at least, it appeared the crying had subsided. All that was left was a whole lot of sadness, a hole in the young woman's heart.
He stepped into their bedroom and began unpacking his overnight bag, throwing things into the laundry hamper as he went. He was about to change into some sleep pants when something caught his eye on the armchair by their bed.
A couple of things, actually.
One was the pair of silk sleep pants he'd purported to be wearing as he talked to Sara from his room at the Best Western the night before. There was exactly zero chances she hadn't noticed them lying there while he'd been trying to seduce her and bring her to the heights of passion over the phone.
He chuckled.
The other thing he noticed was the ratty old housecoat she insisted on wearing when he wasn't around. God, he hated that thing! He was willing to bet the gallery that she'd been wearing it when she'd told him she'd been clad in nothing but a towel.
So much for the fantasies conjured up during phone sex.
His mind wandered to his last conversation with Mozzie and the mention of a gift Piper had supposedly given to Sara. She hadn't yet mentioned it to him although to be honest, they hadn't had a minute alone since he and Liam had gotten back and had been assaulted by Caitlin's little meltdown.
Surely, if there was something worth telling, she would come clean when the time was right; after all, Sara wasn't in the habit of keeping secrets from her husband. Or at least, he didn't think so.
He glanced at Sara's side of the bed and began poking around her nightstand to see if there was anything of interest — like an expensive piece of jewelry. A file folder laying on top caught his attention and he peeked inside. He immediately recognized the document as the list of items from Piper's townhouse, perfectly inventoried with date of purchase, description and value. He let his finger slide down the page in search of the Pollock Mozzie claimed to have overheard the man talk about. He was halfway down the second page when he heard the sound of Sara's voice wishing Caitlin good night. He quickly returned the document to its spot; Sara hated it when he snooped around her work documents.
'Hey' he heard her say from the bedroom door where she stood, looking totally spent from a night full of emotions.
'Did she finally settle down?' he asked, pulling back the blankets on the bed as a diversion.
'Yeah, she's fine. She's exhausted.' Sara replied as she made it all the way into the room and began to undress. 'And frankly, so am I.'
'Is Liam back?' Neal asked.
'Not yet.'
'I wonder where he went to in such a hurry' he pondered.
Sara's mind appeared to have moved on to something else. 'Honey, do you think we should be doing more to try and patch things up between Caitlin and her mom?'
Neal pulled his sweater off over his head and lobbed it into the basket from across the room. Two points.
'What do you mean, more? Caitlin's got to make her own decisions, babe. If we get too involved, we might influence her.'
'That's just it. I… Look, it's obvious Jackie is envious of the life we have. She can't offer her daughter the kinds of things we can. That's got to be eating at her.'
Sara moved to her dresser and pulled out a clean t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants.
'There's nothing we can do about that… short of inviting her to come and live with us' Neal said in jest.
'Maybe not live with us but…' Sara mused. '…we could invite her and Jesse over for dinner, try to show some good faith.'
'What!?' Neal shouted as Sara shushed him.
'You want to invite that… gun-toting, slime ball back into our lives?'
'Neal, he's Caitlin's brother' she said sternly. 'And need I remind you, you messed up plenty of times when you were Jesse's age. I don't recall Peter and Elizabeth banning you from their dining room table.'
Neal shot her a dirty look; her words stinging him somehow. He let himself fall on the edge of the bed and ran his hands through his hair.
'Can we sleep on it?' he suggested, eager to avoid any further discussion on the topic - or worse yet, an argument.
Sara slipped into bed and waited for Neal to do the same. She curled up against him, her arm thrown across his bare chest.
'So…' Neal began, easing into the subject of interest to him. 'Are you all done inventorying the stuff at Piper's townhouse?'
Sara let out a tired sigh as she reached over him for the bedside lamp, plunging them into darkness. 'Yes, finally. You would not believe the stuff he has in that place.'
Actually, he kind of would, considering he'd just taken a look at the list of items in the file on her bedside table. Furthermore, Mozzie had given him the full rundown of most of the items he'd heard Sara gushing about through his earbuds, complete, in some cases, with photographs.
'Oh yeah? Like what?' he asked, feigning ignorance.
'Just… tons of stuff, you know' she said, stifling a yawn.
Neal insisted. 'Give me a for instance.'
'Oh, I don't know… sculptures, paintings, vases, silver, heirloom pieces… jewelry' she added hesitantly.
'What kind of jewelry?' he asked, prodding her.
If, as Mozzie had intimated, Randall Piper had offered his favourite insurance investigator a piece of jewelry, this would be the perfect segue for her to come clean to her husband.
Instead Sara deflected. 'You know, stuff… expensive cufflinks, tie clips, some rings…'
She stopped suddenly. 'Are you pumping me for information, Caffrey?' she asked, poking him in the ribs playfully. 'Because you know that's off limits.'
They were used to having that Chinese wall between them when it came to their jobs. In his present work endeavours, Neal didn't have nearly as much information of a confidential nature to deal with. But certainly back when he'd worked cases with the FBI, Sara had been careful about sticking her nose into his affairs. And Sara's job required that she deal with information of a private nature all the time. They had learned to draw that line between work and family years ago and, except for comments of a more general nature, they had managed to keep most discussions about their professional lives out of the bedroom.
But that distinction didn't apply to their personal life - especially as it related to the kids or to their relationship. They were both adamant about keeping things honest although it had been a struggle for Neal in their first few years of marriage. Still, there was a solid, sacred trust between them these days, an expectation that anything that impacted their lives or the lives of their children would be discussed freely and openly and that there would be no secrets between them. Surely, something as personal as a gift from a client - and possibly an expensive one at that - fell into that category.
'No, of course not!' Neal cried out, with mock exasperation. 'I was just curious what a guy like that would have in his house, that's all.'
'One of his houses' she reminded him as he scoffed. 'Next week, we're attacking his summer residence out in the Hamptons. Apparently, the place is loaded with stuff.'
Neal nodded. In the dark, she wasn't able to see the grimace on his face and he was unable to read the look of discomfort on hers.
'So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?'
'No… can't think of anything. Oh yeah! I almost forgot' she said as Neal's ears perked up.
Here it was, he thought. Finally she was coming clean; Sara couldn't keep something like this from him even if she tried.
'Poor Chloe has to have her tonsils out.'
'What?'
He felt his breathing becoming more rapid.
'Yeah, Lydia says she's had one too many infections and the doctor suggested they come out.'
'That's too bad. Anything else?'
'What do you mean, anything else?' she said looking up at his face in the semi-dark room.
'I don't know… anything out of the ordinary?' he asked, giving her one last chance to confess.
Sara squirmed in his arms, growing uneasy. 'I can't think of anything' she said, biting her bottom lip.
He placed a kiss on her forehead. 'So, did you enjoy our little phone… conversation last night?'
She chuckled and prepared to mislead her husband for the second time in the past two minutes.
'Yeah, it was nice… But I'm looking forward to the real thing. Tomorrow night, remember? You promised.'
Neal sighed and ran his hand down her side languidly. He let his voice drop an octave. 'I remember.'
'So where are you taking me for dinner Caffrey? Someplace nice?'
Neal tried to remain focussed on the conversation. He wanted to make their Valentine's Day celebration special but now he couldn't stop wondering why, if it was all so innocent, she wasn't telling him about the gift Piper had given her.
'You never mind where I'm taking you. It's called a surprise for a reason.'
The room grew quiet. 'You got any surprises planned for me?' he asked in a last ditch attempt at getting her to speak up.
Sara gave him a loving squeeze. 'You'll just have to wait and see.'
TBC
