Tumblr Quote i came across:
"you ever wonder how many people you're in the "we're friends but i would kiss you if you asked" club with"
Tony looked at the post on his tumblr feed, thumb hovering over the screen as he thought about it. Honestly speaking, if any of his friends asked he'd probably do it no questions asked. But would it be the same if he were to ask?
He really wanted to find out…
Shortly after hatching his plan for Operation Kiss Me he'd started planning how to go about asking. Should he be upfront about it, play it off as some dumb joke? Was it strictly a on the lips kiss type situation or could he bend the rules as long as they went through with the act. Should his friends be judged on their response?
Better approach like a scientist. He had multiple test subjects to work with but he needed a common denominator. So at some point, he's going to causally ask his friends for a kiss and see how it plays out.
This could be fun.
Happy
He was currently sitting in the back of one of his limo's getting driven around by one of his best friends. Happy was grumbling on about one of the most recent episodes of Downton Abbey while Tony plotted how to get this kiss.
Luckily he got his chance not too long after they arrived at the airport. He was flying out to Tokyo for an important contract with Happy tagging along to keep him out of trouble. Recently there had been two different incidents where Airplanes had trouble and so while Happy was busy harassing the airport worker about taking care of the car Tony got ready.
He stood by the steps of his private jet and waited until Happy finished harassing the guy. The second his bodyguard/best friend turned around he smiled, "Kiss me?" Happy looked at him, confusion and a healthy dose of suspicion contorting his face. Tony remained slightly, just stood in place smiling and rocking on his heels just the smallest amount. Nerves and excitement at conducting his experiment leaving him restless.
After a moment, Happy came closer, shifting his luggage to the side away from his and reached up for his head. The genius stayed relaxing, letting his friend grab the back of his head and bring him down for a quick forehead kiss. "Whatever you say Boss man."
Then he continued onto the plane, shaking his head and probably writing off the whole thing as one of his crazy antics. Tony didn't care what he thought, he was too busy cataloging his success, he couldn't wait to test this on someone else.
Rhodey
Next up was his favorite person in the whole wide world. "Hi Honey Bear!" he was super excited to try this on his oldest friend. Still surprised he got a kiss from Happy and without question!
"Hey Tones, have you've been staying out of trouble?" Rhodey grinned as he walked up to him and pulled him into a hug.
"I'm offended you'd think I was anything other than the perfect little angel I am." Tony hugged his best friend, always happy to see the other man. It was a shame that the Air Force took up so much of his time. But that's what happens when your best friend is too good for this world, the government monopolizes all his time and gives him short breaks in between.
"The only true thing about that sentence was the 'little' comment." Tony pulled back and punched Rhodes in the shoulder.
"Don't be mean to me." He pouted but James just laughed and pulled him into his side. Walking them into the kitchen.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you with a cup of coffee."
Rhodey laughed at his beaming face, "A famous platypus coffee?"
He got shoved away while Rhodey went about grabbing all the ingredients for his home made coffee. It was a skill he picked up right before college and Tony fell in love with his best friend after the first cup. Even since then it's been a gift and a treat for Rhodey to make him some. "Not that famous and definitely not a platypus, now sit down and stay out of my way."
"Rude…" but he did as told, jumping up to sit on the counter just out of the way but close enough he could watch and smell the progress.
After a little while Rhodey was handing him the perfect cup of joe ever made, "One James Rhodes Coffee, enjoy."
Tony blew and the carefully sipped took a sip from one of his million SI cups. The flavor was perfect and smooth, warming him up while simultaneously making him shiver. Rhodey was sipping from his own cup and smiling at him for moaning and lusting after a cup of coffee. Now could be his chance…
He made a show of catching Rhodey's gaze before smiling and asking, "Kiss me?" He even through in his signature pleading puppy dog eyes. Once the eyes came out his sugar bear caved. He sighed, left hand leaving the warmth of his coffee cup and reaching out for one of his. Confused but determined to play this out he put his hands in Rhodey's slightly bigger one. Once James had his hand he brought it to his lips, brushing a kiss against knuckles like a prince would do to a maiden. Tony was so shocked his jaw dropped.
Rhodey noticed and snorted, "So needy."
"Mean! Mean! Mean, and just plan rude is all you are to me."
He didn't care that Rhodey was laughing at him now, his plan was a success.
Pepper
"Pep! Love of my life, apple of my eye, coffee during my longest work binge!"
"What do you want Tony?"
"Kiss me?"
She grabbed his chin with her perfectly manicured nails, planting a sweet kiss against his cheek before pulling back. Didn't even smudge her lipstick or leave a mark, "Happy?"
He smiled at her, content and so glad he'd gotten to have her as long as he has, "Delighted."
"Good, will that be all Mr. Stark?" God he loved her.
"That'll be all Miss Potts." She kissed his cheek again, ruffled his hair and then went back to work. Tony knew he could count on her.
But now it was time to move on to the harder ones.
Bruce
He'd been debating how to causally ask his science bro for the past two hours that he'd messed up his equation. They'd been sharing lab space today, working on a smaller project together and while Bruce was holding up his end of the work Tony was not.
He'd been too consumed in his own personal science experiment that he'd skipped a step or two in his equation which is why his results weren't coming out right. He had to start over.
It seemed Bruce noticed this too, "Hey Tony, are you okay?" Tony was so caught in his head he almost missed what Bruce said. He was ready to wave the other of but then that little voice in his head screamed at him to snatch the opportunity before him.
He sighed and hung his head, trying to look as pitiful as possible, "No, not really." Bruce got up from his seat and came over to him.
"What's wrong? Can I do anything to help?" Bingo.
He titled his head up, letting it fall on his shoulders so he was looking up at the doctor from his seated position, "Kiss me?"
It took everything in his power not to crack a smile at the blushing mess Bruce became. His mouth worked to form words but nothing came out or took form. At first Tony wanted to grin but when the moment stretched on into awkward levels of neither doing anything Tony wrote this one off as a loss. Making a few mental notes for Operation Kiss Me he turned back to his notes on their real life project. Glaring at his notes he tried to ignore the disappointment he felt at not receiving a kiss. It was a dumb thing, his friends aren't obligated to kiss him on command whenever he wants. Plus Bruce isn't a very tactical person, he should have known he would get a negative result.
He was ready to push all his yucky feelings aside when slightly chapped lips pressed against the back of his neck. Surprised he didn't move as Bruce planted not one but two kisses to the back of his neck.
Rustling behind him signaled the departure of Bruce so he turned to watch his fellow scientist scramble back to his side of the room. With a slight flush to his cheeks, Bruce did his best to throw himself back into his work, ignoring Tony as much as possible. But that's okay, Tony got what he wanted and now he could get back to work. Smile in place even when his cheeks started to hurt.
Steve
America's golden boy was in the kitchen attempting to bake when Tony tested him. He wandered in staying quiet and out of the way as Steve read the recipe book before moving on to the next step. Tony looked over the scene he made, flour, sugar and other white things everywhere. Looking like it was trying to consume every surface of the kitchen. Steve wasn't looking much better, stuff all over his arms and apron. "Making quite the mess I see…"
"I'll clean it up."
"Never crossed my mind that you wouldn't…what are you making?" He leaned around Steve's bulk, watching him pour the batter into a tray.
While the big blonde was busy getting the tray in the oven Tony snatched the open container of icing, "Trying my hand at chocolate cake." With cake in the oven, Steve turned around and really took in the mess he made. He frowned at the sheer amount of it, "Also trying to figure out how there was any batter in the tray by the amount of ingredients all over the place."
Tony laughed, "You didn't make it out scotch free either." He gestured to Steve and said man looked down at himself, really taking in all the stains and flour covering him.
"The apron will live, my hands I think I should be fine cleaning off in the sink."
"Not so fast Soldier Boy, you missed a spot."
Steve looked around, "Where?"
With icing covering his finger, he swiped it at the point of Steve's nose. Making the taller man go crossed eyed. "Right here."
"Hey!" Steve spotted the can of icing and snatched it away from him. Putting it aside and out of his reach, "That's for the cake. This on the other hand…" he put his hand in the open bag of flour, "would complement your outfit nicely." Tony through his hands up just in time to get smacked with a cloud of flour.
"It's on Rogers."
After making a bigger mess of the kitchen and only stopping because they ran out of ingredients to throw Steve finally thought to ask, "Was there a reason you came in the kitchen? Or were you actively looking for trouble?"
"Oh, I wanted to ask you something." Tony played it causal, keeping himself distracted by trying to get the crushed egg out of his hair.
Steve was in a similar position next to him, attempting to whip flour off himself, "And what would that be?"
Giving up on the egg, he pushed his hair back and went for it, "Kiss me?"
Steve stopped and looked at him, taking him in, mess and all. He chuckled, "Sure thing, come 'ere." Steve's big hand grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. Steve leaned down and kissed him at the corner of his eye which had to be one of the only clean parts of him at the moment. "Anything else?"
While Tony had Steve leaned in close he pulled his final trump card, egg in hand he swung up and crushed it on Steve's head, "Nope, that was everything."
Bucky
He and Bucky were in the gym, working on defensive moves. When Bucky had come to the tower and grudgingly admitted he needed regular maintenance on the arm Tony had been elated to work on the technical marvel. Bucky not so much, it was really that he felt like it wasn't fair to Tony. For the genius to take time out of his schedule to work on his arm while housing, feeding and clothing him, Bucky hated to be such a burden. So they worked out a deal, in exchange for his mechanic expertise Bucky would train Tony in self-defense…and make the occasional meal.
So Tuesdays and Thursdays found the two in the gym together. They'd been at it for a while, building a sweat and teasing each other as they spared. They were working on take downs and Tony wasn't doing so hot if you counted how much time he was spending on his back with Barnes above him.
His back hit the matt again, Bucky's grinning face above him when Tony got fed up with the exercise and decide to change gears.
Bucky was looking him over, making sure he didn't hurt him to bad when Tony called for him, "Hey Bucky?"
He immediately looked back at him, "Yeah?"
Face straight with a hint of innocence he asked as sweetly as possible, "Kiss me?"
Thank god he was a master of keeping his facial expressions schooled because the way Barnes flushed fire engine red was hilarious. Poor guy had the whole deer caught in headlights thing happening and everything!
Bucky stayed frozen a few seconds later before finally gaining a backbone. Face and body, probably in mind and spirit as well, set in determination Bucky leaned down and planted a chaste kiss to his lips. Tried already, Tony laid there, eyes closed and breathing through his nose. Bucky's lips pressed against his, not moving. Just a steady pressure until they weren't. Blinking his eyes open, he turned his head just in time to catch Bucky making a run for the gym exit.
Tony stayed on the floor of the gym cackling like a hyena for a good five minutes before he composed his self.
Clint
Clint sat unsuspecting in the living room when Tony found him. He was relaxing on the couch, beer in hand and remote clicking through channels with the other one. Tony sat next to him, "Hi Clint."
"Hey Tony, what's up?"
"Nothing much, you?"
"Bored." Tony glanced at the TV and watched Clint flip through six more stations before he turned back to the archer.
"Kiss me?"
"Fuck yeah!" Clint slammed his beer on the side table and through the remote down on the floor before tackling the genius. On his back, Tony only had a second to blink before Clint was on him. It didn't take long before Clint's tongue was slipping inside his mouth to play. They laid on the couch making out for a good hour. Afterwards a Bond marathon started and they settled in to watch the sexy Sean Connery seduce women and foil the plans of evil.
A week later he found himself in Clint's position, bored with nothing to do until Clint came around and asked him if he they could kiss again. His response was hell yeah.
Natasha
With Natasha he could not think of any situation he could put himself in to ask without getting his lips cut off. He was obsessing over it so much he was starting to get frustrated. He was so annoyed with himself that he blurted it out in passing.
He was standing in the elevator, glaring down the buttons of different floors when Natasha stepped on the cart. "What's wrong Antonio?" And that was it, he snapped. Hours and days of agonizing over how he was going to ask her and then she appeared. Acting all sweet and innocent, asking him what's wrong (like she didn't know) and calling him by his full name in Italian.
He whined, like a god damn child, basically begging when he asked her, "Kiss me?" He wanted to stomp his foot but then he'd never live it down. Tony Stark having a full-fledge temper tantrum and stomping his foot like a child. He'd never hear the end of it.
While he was having an inner crisis Natasha had closed the space between them. He only clued into that fact when he nails scratched his neck where her fingers were pulling the collar of his shirt down and out of the way. Her lips were soft against his collar bone and he swore he could still faintly feel her lips there after she pulled away.
"All you had to do was ask Antonio." The doors dinged open behind her and then she left, leaving him speechless.
Thor
Tony just so happened to be the first one there to greet Thor when he arrived back at the tower. "Anthony! How wonderful to see you! Come, embrace me comrade." Tony smiled and indulged the giant lug, crossing the room to get swept up in those big beefy arms.
"I missed you Thor."
Thor gasped like he was surprised to hear him say it, "Why Anthony! I've missed you too!" He was squeezed a bit tighter and longer. But as always all good thing must come to an end. Once his feet were back on solid ground he looked up at his godly friend and smiled wide.
"Kiss me?"
"Of course!" Thor cupped his head with his giant hands and kissed him. Everything about him was powerful, his hands, his presence, even his kiss was powerful and all consuming. Pulling back Thor laughed joyously and pulled him into a side hug, "What a wondrous welcoming, Anthony you make me feel so humbled. The powers beyond Odin have blessed me with your friendship."
Wrapping his arm around Thor's waist he tried hiding his flush into his chiseled chest, "Are you sure you're not the God of Flattery?"
Thor's booming laughter was a melody to his happiness.
Hulk
He hadn't even thought to ask the Hulk until he was being cradled by the giant. They were in battle and a group of monsters had been attracted by the shine of his armor, attempting to rip it off his body. Hulk had seen him struggle against the group and jumped in, smashing the enemy into the ground before scooping him up.
"NO HURT MY METAL MAN."
"Aww Hulk," Tony preened from his perch in the Hulk's giant hand, armor in pieces around him but flight suit still intact, "You're so sweet to me, I love you big guy."
Hulk's features softened and he smiled at him, "HULK LOVE TONY."
Tony was fucking smitten, "Kiss me?" Hulk didn't stop smiling as he lifted him higher and very carefully kissed the center of his chest. Tony laughed and hugged his head while Hulk pressed smooches into his glowing chest.
The green giant pulled back and shyly looked at him, "KISS HULK?"
Tony immediately reached for him, "Of course buddy, come here!" Tony went to work kissing every available surface of Hulk's face.
That's how the team found them a little later, Tony smothering Hulk with kisses and the rage monster laughing softly. They hadn't thought the Hulk was capable of being that soft and sweet until now.
THIS IS THE END FOR NOW.
I'm taking a break from the one-shots and this collection to work on some chapter works. Prompts are still welcome but for now I want to work on longer works. When I start posting one-shots again I'll open another collection.
Thank you so much for all the love and support.
I hope you enjoyed everything!
I love comments.
