Ana's POV

Oooh, my brain is going to explode. It's been a horrid couple of days, followed by an even worse night starting with the screams, listening to the harrowing music and then Christian losing the plot and disappearing. The revelations made my head spin and I really want to sleep but now hubba hubba, Christian's body in the lamplight and his abs… where's the chocolate cake when you need it?

I must gasp as he looks at me and quickly pulls on a t-shirt, he saunters off into his dressing room to replace his pants with pj pants, comes back to the bed and slides in next to me. I need to touch him, to make sure it hasn't been an awful nightmare from which I am waking.

I'm smiling and looking at him as my hand slides under his t-shirt and I watch horrified as he draws away from me, pain flashing over his face and his eyes take on a stricken look as he stops breathing and his hand rises with a reflexive action to smack my hand away, striking like a snake, stinging sharply and then holding it in a vice like grip as it comes off his skin.

I scream in shock and it breaks the tension and he drops my hand like a bomb and looks at me horrified and scared.

I can hear his heart beating and it sounds like it is about to jump out of his chest "Christian, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what did I do?" I stammer, I know what happened wasn't conscious and while I'm scared, it's not at him, it's for him, I know him enough to know that what just happened was all a fear reflex.

Christian continues to stare at me with total and utter dread and I lift my hand, making sure he can see it and gently touch his face "Christian, come back to me, I'm ok. You didn't hurt me. You just scared me. I'm so sorry" and slowly, so slowly, I see the fear recede in his eyes and I can hear his heart slow down. I continue and lift my hand into his hair and gently draw my fingers through it like I have done many times before and he finally leans into my hand and closes his eyes. I lean forward and brush my lips over his and his eyes fly open and he reaches and pulls me onto his chest, his lips urgent on mine, like he's trying to swallow me. I can feel his heart still beating a tattoo against my chest but as he continues, kissing my cheeks and my eyes as I shut them, he places feather light kisses on my nose as I go to lean my forehead against his and finally he is back to my lips but gently and his heart beat slows.

"I'm sorry", he whispers ashamedly and he won't look at me now but continues to hold me tight.

"Christian, stop it! I'm fine. Look at me. We need to speak about what happened but since I figure it doesn't actually have anything to do with me, in that I think it relates to something prior to me, is that true?" and he nods.

"Well then, we don't need to talk about it now," I say with complete finality.

"I don't deserve you, thank you for understanding" I hear as Christian crushes me to his chest and I wonder how it is so ok when he has a shirt on but the skin contact caused such a reaction.

"Can you unhook me from the support so that I can sleep on my left side and you can spoon me?" I whisper against his lips, he pulls back from me shaking his head and I say "I am about to collapse from lack of sleep and I just want to feel your body next to mine. I need to know you're safe and I'll feel safe and we'll both sleep. You need the sleep, you haven't slept in days and quite frankly you look like shit!"

"Miss Steele, you are oh so not eloquent when you have had no sleep, I have a better idea" and he shuffles himself under me so that my head is on his shoulder, my body across his body and his legs bent underneath mine, we're spooning but like no-one else has ever spooned.

"Mr Grey, are you comfortable in this strange position" I mumble at him, loving the warmth that is flooding my body.

"Miss Steele there is absolutely no other place I'd rather be and if I'm holding you, I know you're right where you should be. And you should be sleeping, I promised Mom that I'd make sure you rested and I haven't done that."

"It's ok" I mumble.

He starts to relax and then says "Sorry I'm smelly do you want me to go and have a shower, I just realised I should have done that earlier" he says just as I'm dropping off.

"I couldn't care less Christian, goodnight, love you…"and I feel myself slipping into very welcome sleep but I don't miss his whispered response.

"I love you too…. So much" which is accompanied by a tighter hold and I drift off to a dream of grey eyes, happy trails and …..


Christian's POV

"I love you too…. So much", Ana has no idea how much I love and need her.

I hit Ana.

I've never hit a girl unless it was part of a scene and never like that, hitting with no control at all.

I hit Ana.

OMG I hit Ana.

"If you don't stop worrying about that, I'll undo my leg myself and hit you with the cast to put you to sleep. You're not very comfortable to sleep on when you're all tense. It woke me up. Go to sleep Christian, I'm fine and we can talk about it when we wake up. And another thing, I am grumpy if I don't get enough sleep…", she finishes with a smile in her voice.

"Sorry", is all I can manage into her hair as my heart swells at her continued acceptance of me in all my shades of fuckedupedness and I consciously relax listening until it is obvious that Ana has fallen back asleep and then I am able to drift off with her relaxed in my arms.

I am awakened by the sun streaming in and smile when I see that we didn't move at all during the night, Ana is still snuggled into me, her little hands nestled underneath mine on her chest and I can feel her heart beat slow and steady through her hands.

I drop my legs so that I don't accidentally poke her as little Grey can't believe his luck at her proximity and the thought makes me squirm and Ana murmurs. I reach with my hand and release the support system so that I am supporting her completely as she wakes and snuggles into my neck, it feels so natural and quite frankly nice. Who knew, all these years I have slept alone but this angel is changing everything for me and in the nicest possible way.

"Morning Gorgeous" I whisper and she snuggles further and kisses me on the neck.

"There's nothing gorgeous about the morning, I want to sleep" she grumbles, deliberately misunderstanding me.

Chuckling, I hold her tighter and revel in having her here with me until my stomach growls so loudly that she jumps.

"You must be starving, I heard that all the way up through your body" she says looking at me now wide eyed as she continues "Did you eat yesterday?"

I shake my head, I really don't want to talk about yesterday, there were so many bad parts to yesterday that I just don't even want to try and bend my mind around it. My misunderstandings and there were several, the very clear message that Ana gave me, the meeting with Elena, Jose's accident in her car and then the touching over-reaction, wow, a shitstorm in a hat box if there ever was one!

Her eyes are flicking across my face and she thankfully goes easy on me with "And you get mad at me for not eating!" she mitigates the tone though by saying playfully, "I know, why don't you go grab some breakfast and I can snooze for a bit longer."

"I've got a better idea" I say, "Why don't we have a shower and then both have breakfast" and then I see it, the fear that runs across her eyes and I realise that I have never seen her naked and it has nothing to do with modesty, Ana has some sort of issue with her body as well, I remember that very first shower she had in my apartment when she would not let any of us help her with her shower. Oh my, we make a fine couple!.

Given all the crap of the last few days, granted, all of my doing, I decide I really don't want to investigate the look of fear, given that we are going to be talking about mine I am sure I can add that to the conversation, oh maybe that's why she understood last night.

"Ok, I'll go have a shower, I have to go to work anyway so I guess I'd better go now" and I am touched by the fact that her face falls at my words.

"If I go soon and let you sleep, I can get my work done and be back around lunchtime, how does that sound?" and I am rewarded by Ana curling up on me for a last cuddle and a happy nod. The shower can wait.

I give myself another fifteen blissful minutes of holding Ana in my arms and she is obviously exhausted as she is asleep again when I extract myself and head off to the shower.

I don't take long in the shower, I want to either be with Ana or working quickly so that I can come back to her, the need to talk is burning like a coal in my gut and I really want to clear everything up with her, it is so much more pleasant when we are happy with each other and I want to get back to that spot. Drying my hair I leave the room, opening the door to the smell of pancakes and bacon and I leave the door open so that the smell may entice Ana to wake and be ready for the breakfast I have planned.

I thank Gail for preparing breakfast and she looks pleased with me asking her to make up a tray for Ana and I to share and I then quickly return to the room and I was correct, the smell has awakened Ana and she looks at me, shakes her head and says "You did that on purpose didn't you?" and snorts at my attempted innocent look.

I sit her up and support her leg and we share a delicious breakfast in silence and then I apologise for rushing off, lay her back down, make sure she's comfortable and head off quickly, I have a lot to do today.


Taylor's POV

Well, I didn't need an hour's sprinting exercise and even my fit body is going to hurt in the morning but at least he came to his senses and he's talking to her, I wonder where I'll be going tomorrow to organise the apology. Somehow I think Flynn understated the difficulty we were all going to face with the Boss and having a normal relationship. At least he listened to me when I spoke, thank goodness for small mercies, I'm glad he stopped, I couldn't have run much further and then for that accident to happen right there, hmm fortuitous although I won't want to be Mr Rodriquez in the morning.

Ok, one last check of the monitor in his room before I switch it off, oh no, holy hell! He's hit her! Shit she doesn't know not to touch him because he's let her hands roam before and he holds her all the time. Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Hang on, what's happening? Zooming in I can tell he's petrified that he's just ruined the best thing that's ever happened to him and I'm ready to go if she kicks him out but no, she's comforting him. She's comforting him….. The girl deserves a medal and he's not letting her go, smart man, right this moment, he's doing the right thing.

Phew crisis averted, I don't want to see any more, I have Gail waiting for me and between the two of us some major reconnection, the Boss doesn't seem to realise that when he is being a dick, he upsets everyone around him and every female assumes their bloke is similar for an equivalent amount of time.

….

Gail's wake up call has me smiling and her "happy to see you" exercise goes someway to easing the muscle pain I am feeling and the subsequent joint shower has me practically whistling while waiting for the Boss.

I would do anything to avoid a repeat of yesterday, seeing the Evil One in custody brought all the information from last week to the fore and if it didn't mess with the Boss's head, and I'm sure it didn't help, it sure solidified to me that I have to make sure that she never ever comes anywhere near him again or is ever allowed near another young boy.

Carrick mentioned that their fostering of the youngster Macy is going ahead and should be finalised within weeks, I can only see him being a constant visual trigger for the Boss and so any future function/dinner/get together with the senior Greys is going to be an interesting experience, yes, let's go with "interesting' more like "fucking awful" but anyway…

What was particularly distressing for Gail and I was that for the first time ever in the whole time we have been in his employ, the Boss did not eat, not a scrap the whole day and for someone with massive food issues and making sure everyone including the security detail do not miss meals, it was an indication of how messed up everything had become. The smell of bacon and pancakes this morning, combined with the fact that there were none left for me when I came out and Gail was smiling were all good signs that things are back on track.

….

Ok, the Boss is on fire this morning, we've had all meetings in double quick time, no fool has been suffered anywhere but today unlike the last couple, everyone's ears aren't ringing from the screaming and there has been a deadly calm in everything he has done. It's 10am and we find ourselves in front of a familiar store, I stay outside sizing up the security guard and internally smiling at his obvious attempt at intimidation, idiot, I could take you in two seconds and you'd never even see me coming. Sometimes it's fun to mess with these guys but today, I can't be bothered and thankfully the Boss is out of there in double quick time and heading to another store, oh, this apology is going to be interesting. I hope I get to watch, in a non voyeuristic way of course, he still doesn't seem to understand Ana and the fact that money isn't what it's all about and that will be the interesting part, personally I hope she understands where he is coming from and accepts gratefully.

Our third stop has me shaking my head but I figure he knows what he is doing, well, he has a plan at least which is admirable given that there weren't that many hours between going to bed and now and finally we are headed back to the office and he fills me in what else needs to be done in relation to security and movement and then leaves me with a terse, "come back at 12:30pm, I'll be ready to leave then."


Christian's POV

"Yes Gail, thank you, yes, that would be very much appreciated, yes, ready to go at 1pm. Oh, Jose would like a word would he, I know at least a dozen words I could say… yes ok, put him on. Hello Mr Rodriquez ….. You're welcome… No! Please do NOT disturb Ana, you can write a message down or I will pass one on but Ana needs to rest. Are you ok to make it back to Portland? You are? Excellent, well, have a good life then." And I hang up on him, the fucker, I am not going to welcome him around Ana, it is entirely up to her if she sees him again but I am not going to encourage it.

He wants into her pants but doesn't want the injuries, hell, Ana at the moment is being held together simply by the scars of her past and present, anyone that doesn't want to deal with that, isn't coming near her.

Yes, I want Ana all to myself and I intend to spend the rest of today apologising to her and I hope that by the end of the day, she totally forgives me. I know that Ana doesn't like me spending money on her, the chair response is still burnt into my brain but she came around, granted that's because they were useful and comfortable but I need her to understand that I need to show her that I love her to remind her that I am not going anywhere and that she is worth it, every little bit.

Thankfully everything goes right and by 12:30 I have finalised everything that needs to be done today, everything else can wait until tomorrow or can be handled by someone else, the days that I spent with Ana in the hospital told me several things: the world didn't stop when I stopped; the business didn't fall over without me at the helm and my deputy Ros is a formidable deputy as I have always known. However, she really stepped up to the plate and was more than capable in handling the extra work load and I need to reward her as well. So the last thing I do before I leave for the day is to organise a basket for Ros to arrive after I leave with a note indicating that I have opened an account for her at Neiman Marcus with enough for at least 3 pairs of Louboutins, them being her preferred work shoe and all, as a thank you for the last ten days.

Taylor is there on the dot at 12:30 and I relax enough to give him a grin and say "Let's see if I can stuff up the apology, let's go." The twinkle in his eye that I see in return is enough for me to know that is exactly what he is thinking and I hope he can help me salvage any mess that I might make.

We walk into the apartment to hear "Someone that I used to know" plaintively playing from the great room and my heart skips a beat but there's a smile on Ana's face as we walk in and she places her guitar to the side.

"I don't know why I didn't think to play yesterday, it would…. Never mind, I got a lot of study done. Did you get your work finished?" and she looks happy to see me.

My response is a face splitting grin, "I did, everything is done so the rest of the day is for you" as I swoop down and pick her up and nuzzle my nose up her neck and then brush my lips against hers. "Are you ready for lunch and some time out of the apartment?"

You'd swear I'd just given her the world as her smile widens and her eyes shine brightly as she nods her head "Your apartment is lovely but I am starting to get cabin fever" and I think about how I'd love to have her in the cabin of my boat but bring myself back to the present.

"Well, let's get you dressed for outside and we'll get going as soon as Taylor returns." Thankfully after a few days of rain, today is nice and clear and mild enough but I am not risking Ana catching a cold with broken ribs and a damaged lung.

The thought of a chest cold almost stops me in my tracks and Ana looks at me and as if she is reading my mind says "I never get chest colds, don't worry but I'll wrap up if that makes you happy." I shake my head with a smile and continue walking with her in my arms and then as if to reassure me she says "There's nothing wrong with the apartment but I can see such beautiful places from the window and …."

"No need to explain, your wish is my command, me lady," I say putting on a British accent "We are heading out, I just hope you like where I want to go… and no, you don't get a say, I have it all planned." And the pout is just a playful one, I think Ana would like anywhere at the moment. "Where did you want to go the other day when you attempted to leave?" I hate how I said that because it sounds like I kept her prisoner.

"I just wanted to go to café down near the water, that's all… but I am happy to go anywhere with you" and my heart swells and I give her a little squeeze.

"Well, we need to dress in layers so let me grab some things for you" and I disappear into the closet.

"Um Christian" and I look at Ana and she is beetroot red, "I need to pee before we go and normally I'd call Melanie" and I try not to laugh at her mortification.

"Well tell me the process and I'll help" I say, "in any case we might have the situation while out so I might as well practice here."

"Oh god, just if you can get me in there and I'll handle the rest" Ana says mortified.

I know I look shocked when I say "Don't tell me you stand while… um, while.. getting ready to sit?"

"Yes Christian and since I stand when exercising, it's no big deal, please just carry me in there and leave me please" and I do as I am asked although I stand just outside the door in case she calls.

"Please move away from the door, I can't pee if you're listening" I hear through the door and I have to laugh and move away, making it obvious that I am doing so but as soon as I hear the flush and have left her as long as think appropriate, I am back in there and am met by a raised eyebrow but she is ready for me and I carry her back in and we finish dressing.

Perfectly timed, Taylor calls to say he is ready downstairs so I say "Wait here" and smirk ducking as the pillow sails past my head again and dash out to grab what I need and then I return to carry Ana downstairs. I can feel her tense as we near the elevator and I assure her, we are going directly to the garage and it is a private elevator so no-one else is getting in.

The atmosphere suddenly changes with an almost electric anticipation, the fact that we are totally alone in the elevator and I know it isn't monitored and my body desperately wants Ana. I hear, without realising that it is coming from me, the growl, as does she and I press the stop button and as I do so, slide Ana from the carry position to an inclined upright position lying against me as I lean myself against the elevator wall at a slight angle.

I grab her pony tail yanking it so her lips come up to meet mine and then my hands roam under her sweater, just as hers snake their way around my neck, pulling my head down, her breathing alters and I kiss her like I have been wanting to do and this time, no-one is interrupting me. As she moans I slide my tongue in to explore her mouth, and I fear I'll burst out of my jeans, I'm sure she can feel the bulge pressing into her as one of her hands moves down my side and dangerously close. As I hold my breath in anticipation, not knowing how I'll manage what I'd like to do to her, with all her injuries, she brings me back to the present by tentatively stroking my tongue with hers, then lifting that hand back up and twisting it in my hair.

My blood is pounding in my ears and it takes all my strength to not show her some of the pleasures I want her to experience with me. Reluctantly I remove my hands from her body and lift one to her chin, tipping it up so I have even better access and she almost undoes me completely as she moans again and arches her back pressing herself into my chest. I wrap my arms back around her and move my lips to her neck as I try to calm down, here and now is not the time to be doing this but I can't resist leaving little nippy kisses up her neck until I reach her ear lobe and I suck on it gently eliciting a moaning gasp from her.