A/N: Again, lyrics not mine. 'Someone kill the DJ'- by Greenday.
"Someone kill the DJ,
Shoot the fucking DJ,
Hold him underwater,
'Til the motherfucker drowns-"
"Ruby... Do you mind? Kind of trying to work here..."
"You're the one playing the music!"
"Uhuh, and when you learn to sing in time and/or in tune, you're welcome to come serenade me... Until then, please- oh please- quit murdering the song quite so loudly!"
"Aw, you're no fun!"
"I'm the Sheriff; I'm not supposed to be fun."
"Ah, you're alright... At a pinch."
"Touching."
"What are you even doing?"
"Writing up the report for Miss Ginger's noise complaint."
"...Isn't she your neighbor?"
"And? What are you implying?"
"Nothing! Nothing... I thought you were doing the reports yesterday?"
"Yeah, I started, but I got a little sidetracked."
"I see."
The blonde glances up at the waitress with a frown, watching as she swings herself lazily round on the swivel chair opposite the table. The brunette's teeth are bared in a wolfish grin and her eyes glitter with mischief.
"What's tickling you?"
"Nothing..."
"Ruby..."
"You just seem to be getting 'sidetracked' a lot lately."
"Meaning?"
"That it's no wonder you keep complaining you're tired; I would be too if I was getting the amount you seem to be getting..."
"Ruby!"
"What? I'm just saying... You know, it's probably the reason you passed out the other day; too much of a good thing..."
"I already told you, I must've just had a funny spell or something!"
"You did... Doesn't mean I can't think otherwise!"
"Fine, think whatever you want, just shut up and keep it to yourself!"
Emma looks back down at the job at hand irritably, tapping her pen distractedly against her teeth. Ruby sighs, but her eyes continue to shine with good humor; too used to the Sheriff's often prickly ways to be thrown off quite so easily.
"You would think someone who got laid last night would be in a slightly better mood..."
"Oh for fuck's sake! Will you let it go? How do you even- You have no clue what I was doing last night!"
"Not specifically no, and I'm cool with being spared any details, but I can recognize a cat that got the cream."
"You're full of it."
"Am I? I ran into Mary Margaret last night as she was making her way upstairs with David Nolan to 'hang out'- yeah, I know, her story sucks- which means that you had the apartment to yourself, and I'm willing to bet you took full advantage of that fact... Tell me, Miss Swan, am I right?"
The Sheriff jumps at the waitress's use of her last name, causing the latter to giggle pleasantly. Rolling her eyes, Emma finally desists her futile attempt to ignore the brunette and leans back in her chair, regarding the younger woman with cool bemusement.
"Remind me to start locking the door to my office?"
"You can't, you're the Sheriff, and can I take that as a 'yes'?"
"Yes. Fine. Yes."
"I knew it!"
"Good for you."
Ruby laughs, wheeling herself closer to the desk so that she can rest her elbows on its surface and leans in close to the Sheriff's face.
"So..."
"So what?"
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Ruby... Give it a rest."
"Aw, come on!"
The waitress pouts pleadingly, jerking back with a laugh as the blonde flicks at her lip sharply with her finger. Smiling at Emma, the brunette shrugs her defeat, deciding to cease her incessant probing before the Sheriff's mock irritation becomes the real thing.
"Ok, I'll stop... Although I don't know why you're being so damn secretive and grouchy about it if this person is making you so happy!"
"I guess I'm just a bitch?"
"Sorry, nope, don't buy it... Whatever. If you're happy, I'm happy."
"...Thanks."
"And without bugging you for any more details, did you at least have fun last night?"
"... Yeah, I did. It was good...I made dinner."
The blonde blushes slightly, eyes downcast resolutely to the paper in front of her as she ignores the waitress's crow of delight.
"I thought you said you were going to stop?"
"Ok, ok, I will! Actually, I'd better be going anyway, I need to start getting things set up for lunch."
"Thank god."
"Oh stop it, you love having me around."
"So young, and so delusional."
"You're a terrible actress."
"And you're a terrible waitress; it's quarter to twelve!"
"Shit!"
It's Emma's turn to laugh as she watches the brunette stumble slightly in her hurry to get out of her chair. Sitting back and pulling her long hair into a messy knot, she regards Ruby with amusement as the younger woman wrestles with her coat.
"Just tell Granny you were helping me fight crime and serve justice."
"I doubt she'd be impressed; she'd rather I was serving customers."
"Odd... What with it being your job and all..."
"I know, right!"
Finally wrapped up to face the winter chill, the brunette offers the Sheriff a small wave as she takes her leave. Debating the act briefly, she decides to throw all pretense out the window- taking solace in the fact that Emma will unlikely be able to catch her in her current position- and grins cattily over her shoulder.
"By the way, should I tell the Mayor you like cinnamon on your hot chocolate next time she stops by and orders you one?"
"...Huh?"
"I just think she should know, if this is going to become a regular new aspect of your relationship."
"Wait, what?"
"Just something to think about, but I need to go. Bye!"
"Wait, Ruby, come back! Ruby!"
The blonde jumps out of her chair, smacking her leg painfully against the desk, and hurries off after the waitress as the younger woman bolts from the Station. Panting as she reaches the main door, Emma yells after her frantically; Ruby turning round and jogging backwards to reply.
"Ruby! What the hell are you on about?"
"I think you know!"
"No, I don't know! enlighten me!"
"I think you're nuts, Emma!"
"What? Ruby!"
"But like I said, if you're happy, I'm happy!"
"Ruby, wait! Please!"
"Can't! I'm late for work! Later!"
"Ruby!"
Eyes wide as the younger woman disappears from view with a final wave of her hand, the Sheriff falls back against the door with a groan, shaking her head in disbelief. Massaging her temples distractedly, she tries to remain calm.
She has no clue how in the hell the young brunette has come to possess her apparent knowledge, and finds herself in somewhat of a moral dilemma. She likes Ruby a lot- an awful lot, truth be told- but trust is not something she comes by easily, and despite her friendship with the waitress, she can't quite settle the fear creeping nauseatingly in the pit of her stomach that the younger woman will let something slip. She doesn't believe it would be a malicious action, and she reassures herself with the knowledge that the waitress has- to her knowledge- kept silent over finding her locked suspiciously in her own damn cellblock, but she can't quite shake her concerns.
"How the fuck did you figure that one out...?"
Stalking stiffly back into the Station, she enters the small kitchen and makes herself a cup of potent black coffee, sighing as she wishes vehemently for something stronger.
"Regina."
The Mayor turns briskly outside Granny's; searching for the source of the voice calling out to her. With a frown, her eyes come to rest on the old pawnbroker who sits at one of the small tables outside with a steaming cup of tea.
"Gold."
Stalking over, she takes a seat opposite him, raising an eyebrow in silent request that he make his reason for hailing her over to the table known.
"You're looking well."
"...Thank you."
"Must have slept well the last few nights?"
"...No more or less so than usual. What do you want, Gold?"
"Oh, I was just mulling something over in my mind and thought you might be able to help me."
"Oh?"
"It pertains to our dear Sheriff."
"What about her?"
"She and I had a most peculiar conversation the other day, did she tell you that?"
"Why would Miss Swan tell me such a thing?"
"Oh, I don't know, I just wondered if it had come up in passing."
"I try to refrain from spending any more time with the Sheriff than is absolutely necessary."
"A wise choice. And yet... That isn't strictly true now, is it, dearie?"
"I can assure you it is."
"Curious then, that the young Sheriff's car should be parked outside your house in the middle of the night..."
"It isn't my fault the idiotic woman mistook a game played- albeit foolishly- by my son as a genuine distress call. Believe me, Sheriff Swan is not someone I take pleasure in seeing during working hours, so to have to put up with her coming round to my own home was most unfavorable."
"If you say so. I must say... I am surprised to see the young woman looking so well..."
"Is she?"
"Oh yes... She's quite the pretty little thing, as I'm sure you'd agree-"
"-Hardly-"
"-And she was looking nothing short of radiant when I saw her last... Of course her determination to greet the day with a scowl detracted from this somewhat, but yes, on the whole, I'd say she looked very well."
"Fabulous, and you're telling me this because?"
"Oh, for no reason, dearie, I was just confessing my surprise... Following the altercation in your office the other day, well... I had just assumed the young Sheriff might have subsequently found herself in a spot of bother..."
"You were responsible for those papers, Gold, not Emma."
"Perhaps... Still, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little surprised at your reaction to her innocence. Whether she requested those papers or not, I was under the impression you viewed the Sheriff with distaste, and yet... You seemed almost concerned upon finding her blameless."
"If that's your perception..."
"It is... Although I suppose in your eyes, Miss Swan could hardly be considered blameless in any respect."
"Yes, well, my opinion of the woman is my own."
"...Indeed."
The brunette frowns as Gold surveys her with glittering eyes; the air thick with a sense of malice and her breath seeming to hitch every now and then in her throat. She is wary of where this conversation is headed, unsure exactly as to the pawnbroker's motives, but certain that they are surely twisted.
She glances up distractedly as the ditzy young waitress trots outside to clear the tables in her ridiculous heels, her eyes shining with unkind amusement at the way the younger woman's sordidly bare legs seem tinged almost blue with cold.
What on earth does Emma see in you...
Returning her gaze to Gold, she fusses with her hair primly; lips pursed in distaste.
"Did you actually want anything, Gold, or do you honestly believe that I enjoy such chitchat."
"Oh, I don't want anything. Not from you, anyway."
"What do you mean, 'not from me'?"
"Well, it's not you I have a deal with now, is it?"
"What deal?"
"Oh, nothing that concerns you, dearie. The Sheriff merely owes me a favor. I suppose I was pondering this fact and got sidetracked."
"... She owes you a favor?"
"Indeed."
"... And what might that be?"
"Oh, I'll think of something when the time's right, nothing to worry yourself about."
"Forgive me, but your favors are not generally something to be taken lightly."
"Why, whatever are you referring to, Madame Mayor?"
"...Nothing."
Nodding, the peculiar little man takes a sip of his tea as he continues to watch the Mayor raptly. Regina frowns, disturbed at the knowledge that the blonde has at some point managed to in-debt herself to the landlord.
"You seem troubled?"
"No. Just confused as to why you're telling me all this."
"No reason... Just letting my words get away from me it would seem. I suppose I had wanted to let you in on how things stood as I had mistaken your recent behaviour as strangely favorable towards Miss Swan. One is sure to jump to conclusions when they find out about such late night visits after all."
"...I have no interest in the woman, nor in what trouble she has found herself in with yourself-"
"-Because if you were to find yourself ill at ease with the fact the young Sheriff was foolish enough to make a deal with me, I would find myself beginning to wonder if perhaps you harbored a small amount of care for the woman."
"I-"
"-And if that was the case, I would also wonder just what you would be willing to offer me to relieve the Sheriff of her burden."
The brunette shrinks back with a hiss of distaste as the pawnbroker leans conspiringly towards her, his curiously dry scent assaulting her senses.
"Your business with Miss Swan is your business. I have no interest in the Sheriff's well-being..."
"I don't believe you, dearie."
"Then you are a fool."
"And you're a liar."
"How dare you-"
"-You think I'm blind to how things have changed? You think I would be telling you all this if I simply wanted someone to talk to? You care for the woman, and that puts me in a very advantageous position, Madame Mayor-"
"-You're insane-"
"-Her car was at your house. And I don't believe for a second that our fine Sheriff was there on a distress call. I-"
"-Can I get you anything else?"
Gold glances up furiously at Ruby who has come to stand beside their table with her pen and paper at the ready. Shooing her away with a flick of his hand, he returns his attention to the Mayor. Regina glares at the young brunette as she remains stood where she is, raising an eyebrow irritably.
"Miss Lucas? Is something wrong?"
"No, not at all, Madame Mayor, I'm just glad you're ok!"
"...Why on earth wouldn't I be?"
"I thought you were in trouble the other night? Emma and I were out by the Station when she received a call on the police radio to come to yours right away? I trust it wasn't anything serious?"
"She received a call on the police radio?"
Gold inquires with a frown; regarding the waitress and thus missing the Mayor's own perplexed expression.
"Well, yeah... She figured it must have been something pretty serious or you wouldn't be calling her... Given how you guys have this problem with each other... No offence..."
"...None taken... Everything's fine. Henry called her as a joke... I guess he didn't realize how irresponsible it was to do so on her police radio."
Ruby smiles, expressing that she's glad all is well before trotting back inside. Glaring back at the pawnbroker who remains with his brow furrowed at the waitress's words, the brunette takes her leave; snapping at him that he can mind his own business the next time he conjures up such fanciful ideas of friendship.
Stalking into the Diner, Regina spots the waitress up at the counter and makes her way over warily.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"You weren't with the Sheriff. She doesn't even use her radio."
"But Mr Gold doesn't know that..."
Dark eyes flashing as the brunette frowns, she studies Ruby intently, trying to grasp an understanding of her current situation.
"But why lie to him?"
"I wasn't the only one lying..."
"Just what are you insinuating?"
"Nothing... Look, Emma's my friend, and you're her... I just don't trust Gold."
"But you're trusting me?"
Low. Incredulous. No pretense at feigned civility.
"I'm trusting Emma."
Shrugging as though disinterested, Ruby offers the brunette a nod of farewell and disappears into the back, leaving the Mayor staring after her stunned.
