"Yes?" I reply, hearing it come out like a question.
She nods and rises from her chair. "Close the door on your way out," she tells me before joining Jake on the sofa and grabbing the remote.
Her eyes are on the TV as she flips through channels, ignoring me completely. Jake's eyes, however, are on me. And they're just as warm and friendly as ever. I sigh and get up, pushing my chair back in before turning to let myself out. But it's not enough.
"Bella?"
She turns to look at me, but she's looking more through me than at me.
"Are you seeing anyone?"
Her mouth drops open and she looks at me like I'm crazy. I think I am.
"Shit! I mean…I'd like to…if you…would anyone…fuck!" My hands go to my hair and my eyes squeeze shut.
Haven't I made enough mistakes in my life? Do I have to completely fuck this up, too? I just want to…I don't know. I just want to see her again, maybe have a real conversation where she actually speaks, too. And I don't want to cause problems for her with Jake or Newton or whoever the hell she's with. But no, I had to ask like it's any of my business. I'm about a second away from ripping my head bald when I feel small hands prying my fingers loose.
"Stop it," she says softly.
It's okay for men to cry, right? Right? Not that it matters, because I'm doing it anyway. And then my stomach rumbles again. So I laugh. I laugh like a fucking maniac, swearing and sniffling and crying like a fucking baby. And when I open my eyes, I see those big brown eyes staring back at me, a bit of mercy in them this time. She looks scared and concerned and unsure, but she doesn't look spiteful. Maybe I got through to her after all.
