A/N: Well, the end of the last chapter probably left all of you saying…why are you torturing the inner senshi like this? Answer: I'm EVIL! Muhahaha! Don't worry though, happy times are coming for the girls. Just wait for it. But for now, let us be on with the drama and the morbid sadness.
Disclaimer: Because I'm evil, I will not write a disclaimer today. Wahahaha!
Chapter 49
Just Wanna Be With You Part 2
3:45 p.m.
Juban Cemetery
Serena P.O.V.
Nearly three days now.
It's a record for me. Never in my life have I ever sat completely still for longer than fifteen minutes, and that's an exaggeration to be honest.
A meatball head, a bubbly girl, a person that invented the phrase dumb blonde…yeah, that's who I've been, who I used to be before this moment in time. Despite the war around me and the dangerous situations I often found myself in, my personality had remained untouched.
That's history now.
Luna sits next to me. She hasn't said a word since we got here nearly three days ago. Neither one of us have eaten, but Luna managed to lap up some of the puddles left by the storm around the cemetery. As for me…as weak as I am, I refuse to move. I can't drink anything or eat. I haven't slept any either.
My eyes haven't moved from the small monument that stands tall before me. My fingertips haven't moved from the single name that I've stared at for endless hours.
Tanaguchi Tsukino
My father's name is written among the dead. My mother and Sammy are written among those who have gone missing. When I saw that there was a possibility that the two of them could be alive, I tried to think on the bright side. Doing so was pointless though. All I can think about is the fact that my father, the man I never said goodbye to, is gone forever.
Even now I still can't believe it. I saw the dried blood on the floor of the hallway. My father's name was written on a police label and everything. The only thing I can see in my mind though is his smiling face and those ridiculous glasses he always wore. The image is so clear that I almost believe that my dad is right in front of me.
No more tears fall as his smiling image disappears from my mind. Every tear that I had cried had long since dried up, leaving only a cold, numb feeing in my chest. The weakness I feel now is almost like a death call of its own, begging for my eyes to close. My stomach begs to be fed and my throat screams for water, but I barely notice the physical damage I'm doing to myself by sitting in this still state of grief.
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
The name repeats over and over in my mind. I've scanned the name with my eyes hundreds, maybe thousands of times now. Every breath I take feels like it belongs to the owner of this name. I would have never existed without him and my mother. The two of them brought deliverance to the world through me.
I am Sailor Moon. I should have been able to protect the people that gave me life, but I failed. I failed my family when they needed the most and now…I can't even use my Geass to bring my dad back because of its time conditions. Talk about sad irony.
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
Tanaguchi Tsukino
With slow movements I finally retract my hand from the name. It will forever echo in my mind and I…will never be the same girl again.
Luna finally speaks, but not to me.
"Rei?"
My mind didn't register the name at first. After all, my father's name had been on repeat in my mind for three days.
"Serena…"
The voice trails off. I recognize the voice, but I still don't move. I felt too numb to talk and too filled with sorrow to feel the anger that dwells deep within my soul.
"Serena it's us…"
Ami's voice prompts me to shift my gaze from the name, but instead of looking at her, I focus my gaze on the grass lining the ground.
A pair of hands touch my shoulders. I barely feel the contact.
"Serena…snap out of it…"
"Snap out of what?" I asked, my voice sounding foreign to my ears. "Snap out of my grief Lita? Snap out of my numb state and pretend that everything is alright again?"
The hands fall away from my shoulders.
"She won't move," Luna stated, clearly talking to the others. "She's still in a state of shock." There was a slight pause. "I've been by her side since she found out, but I just don't know what to say to her."
"There's nothing you can say," Rei stated. "Serena should be allowed to feel whatever it is she's feeling without our interference."
The sound of footsteps alerts me that someone is coming closer. Hands are on my shoulders again seconds later. Slowly I feel the warm begin to return to my skin.
"All we can do is offer our presence…" Rei continued, her voice hovering over me, "…and condolences."
Silence hung in the air for another moment before Rei spoke again.
Her hands tightened on my shoulders. "I'm sorry Serena."
A half sob fell from my mouth as I lifted my left hand. Shakily I placed it over the hand that was on my right shoulder, clinging to the warmth it provided and hoping that it would drive out the ice in my heart.
More footsteps approached. Fingertips touched my right hand which rested lifelessly on my lap. Two arms folded around my right arm, holding me steady as I shook. Luna curled herself into my lap seconds later, the sound of her purrs easing the dull headache I had gotten over the course of all this time.
Slowly but surely, my body relaxed and new tears fell from my eyes. This time though, the tears were not of grief but of gratitude. In my darkest hour, I could always count on my friends. It's true that I still felt some anger towards Rei because a deeper part of me blamed her for my father's death, but I know in the end that this was not something anyone could control. No one is to blame for this. I'm not to blame for this tragedy.
It's not about looking on the bright side, but accepting that what happened cannot be changed. That is what makes this moment so difficult to bear. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I can begin to move forward when I blame myself for what happened to my dad. Realizing that I am not to blame doesn't mean that I can't put blame on myself. I feel what I feel and no amount of pep talks will change that.
But this person had been in my life since I was born. How can I ever come to terms with not having that constant in my life? How can I move on? How can I go on pretending that my life hasn't been changed?
I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to answer those questions. Even so, sitting here for the rest of my life is not an option. As Sailor Moon, I have to make myself move toward the future. Besides, wasting away like this is no way to honor my father's memory.
My stomach growls then, forcing my mind to accept that my body was reaching its limits. I know that the girls heard it too, but none of them make an effort to move until I do.
"We have to leave now," I tell them, sighing heavily as I motion with my eyes for Luna to get up. "I'm hungry."
The hand atop my hand pulls back. The arms locked around my right arm fall away as well, but the hands on my shoulders remain for a few seconds longer.
"It's okay Rei."
Rei's hands pull away from my shoulders. "Do you need help standing up? You've been here for a long time."
"Yeah," I answered, turning my gaze so I could see her and the others. Immediately I notice the tears in all of their eyes. Easily I see that Rei had cried the most tears, but her hand was steady as she moved to help me to my feet. I allowed her to assist me, smiling as brightly as I could despite the pain that continued to resonate within my soul.
"We're all here for you," Rei stated, her voice a bit shaky. "We won't leave your side."
I nodded, allowing myself to look at her violet eyes. Almost instantly, I'm reminded of the other person who owned those same violet eyes. A laugh falls from my mouth.
Rei's answering expression of worry was hysterical. "Serena?"
"Don't worry," I told her, stifling the giggles that threatened to spill from my lips. My gaze shifts so I can look at Ami and Lita.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded. "Yes, it's just…you're starting to look more like Lula."
Rei smiled a bit. "If you had said that a few days ago I would have beaten you up meatball head."
"Serena has a point though," Lita interjected, tipping her head a bit. "Your eyes are more expressive than they used to be."
"My eyes?"
Ami sighed. "I think Lita means that your gaze isn't as intense as it used to be. We all know it came from hours of meditation, but at times it was a bit much. However, lately your expressions have become softer. It makes you look more like Lelouch."
Rei raised an eyebrow at her. "Sure, whatever you say."
"Well, there's no need to act sarcastic about it."
"It's not sarcasm. More like disbelief Ami."
"You better start believing it," I told her, perking up if only a little bit. "After all. It's obvious that you're in love with him."
A blush rose of Rei's face. "Am not Serena."
"Sure you are," I pressed, "you just refuse to admit it."
"Please, that's totally off base meatball brain."
"Speaking of meatballs, can we get spaghetti?"
Rei rolled her eyes as she started walking ahead of us.. "That's up to Lita."
"Sounds easy," Lita stated, smiling broadly. "I'll make a giant pot just for you Serena."
With measured steps I started to walk in step behind Rei. Ami came to my side a few seconds later, offering to help since I was moving so slowly. Lita followed and Luna held up the rear in silence. Looking back, I caught the small smile on her face.
For now at least, I can hide my grief. I'm not sure about Ami and Lita, but I know that Rei won't try to say anything to me about it. After all, she knows all about this kind of grief. The grief and guilt that comes from knowing that you didn't protect the people that mattered the most.
This kind of grief is only healed by solitude.
About two hours later
Within the government bureau
"Oh, so you don't need the orchestra anymore?"
"Nah, Rei booked a guy she knows for an awesome price. Plus, it doesn't even come out of the budget because she's paying for it. It's really nice to have such a dedicated person on the council."
"Yeah, sorry that I couldn't come to the meeting today."
"You didn't come to school either so I would have been foolish to expect you at the meeting."
"If you say so."
"Anyway Suzaku, there are some other things I'll need you to help me take care of. We're still going to need a giant Christmas tree for the festival."
"Don't worry. I'll handle it."
"Great! Will you be at school tomorrow?"
"Probably not, but I'll be there Wednesday."
"Okay! I'll see you then."
"Later prez. Thanks for calling."
"No problem. Bye Suzaku!"
With a sigh, the Honorary Britannian turned knight of the round places his cell phone on the desk. The school festival was the last thing on his mind, but humoring Milly eased his spirit. After all, Milly was a carefree and bubbly…just like Euphie used to be.
Thoughts of Euphie bring about bitterness towards the man who caused her untimely death and the horrific deaths of the innocent who were only seeking equality and freedom.
"I got to say Suzaku, you're becoming more and more like Zero all the time."
"I am not like him," Suzaku muttered, clenching his gloved hands atop of his lap in evident frustration.
Rei's comment had been a low blow. She knows full well how much Suzaku despises Lelouch for being Zero; the man that murdered his one and only love. Based on the comment though, it was clear to Suzaku that Rei didn't understand how difficult it was for him to walk through the halls of Ashford everyday, knowing that it was because of Euphemia that he had ever walked those halls in the first place. Euphemia was the person that enabled him to become a knight and a person who could possibly deliver his people from being oppressed over and over again.
When he summed it all up, Suzaku realized that Euphemia was the only person who had understood him. She was the only person who didn't judge him for choosing this path.
"Friendship is an illusion," he thought, vividly picturing Lelouch and Rei's faces in his mind. He almost laughed, making the connection that Rei was the one becoming more like Lelouch and vice versa. Seconds later though, that same revelation began to unsettle him. They were becoming more like each other with each passing day. What would that lead to in the future? Lelouch thinks that he's just a normal teenager at this point in time, but Rei knows that she isn't.
Even so, from Suzaku's standpoint, Rei and Lelouch are becoming closer. He first noted it after Rei had been attacked by the Xenian monsters. Lelouch had been vehement about staying by her bedside at the hospital. Later, when Rei had awakened, her main concern had been Lelouch's safety. She said that he had protected her from the monsters.
Suzaku knew Lelouch to be a selfish person at heart. He held no value in anyone's life except for his own and Nunnally's. For him to protect someone else at the possible cost of his own life was a concept Suzaku couldn't quite swallow.
As for Rei, Suzaku couldn't understand why she would continue to defend him. He figured she would hate him for what he did to Euphemia as well. Just where did all this so called forgiveness come from anyway? Did Rei feel guilty for what she did on Kanime Island? Suzaku couldn't be sure. Rei was especially difficult to read. Her actions at times were predictable, but in other instances she completely went off the wall with her decisions. While calculating and calm in some high stress situations she could be temperamental and completely rash in others. The flip flop of her emotions was enough to set everyone around her on edge.
Despite this, Suzaku still admired her courage and willingness to protect what was important to her no matter the cost. In that way, he knew that she was incredibly brave.
For that reason, he had been looking into trying to find out information on E.E., the woman Rei had told him about just before Milly had called him. At the moment, he was trying to hack into the government bureau's main database with his laptop, but he wasn't a computer genius by any means. Hacking into systems would have been easy for Lelouch, Ami, and even Rei if she really set her mind to it, but Suzaku didn't have the slightest clue of what he was doing. He kind of felt stupid for trying.
The click of the automated doors made Suzaku pause in his futile attempts. His emerald gaze traveled down to the doors as Gino Weinberg entered. In his hands he held Anya's handheld computer/diary/phone device. Anya was nowhere in sight.
"Gino…isn't that Anya's?" Suzaku questioned, closing his laptop so his comrade wouldn't see what he was doing.
Gino was not paying attention to his comrade in the slightest. His expression was serene but focused as he typed on the small device. He sat down on the couch, still clicking away.
Suzaku raised an eyebrow. "Gino?"
"Hold on a second."
Now the Japanese youth was curious. "What are you doing with Anya's…"
"Will you be patient! Sheesh!"
The shocked expression on Suzaku's face would have caused the knight of three to bust into hysterics if he hadn't been preoccupied with what he was doing.
His thumbs danced over the keys. Sorry Lita, I have to get going. Suzaku's having a fit over here about something.
Seconds later there was a reply to his message. That's fine. Rei's having one of her fits now. I have to get going too. Lol!
Gino smiled. One last thing though. Would you like to go on a date with me sometime next week?
On the other side of the Tokyo Settlement, Lita's face lit up in a blush. There was slight hesitation as she typed her reply to Gino's message on her newly acquired cell phone…one that a certain knight of the round had bought for her.
Next Monday is my b-day. Would u like to go out then?
Back inside the government bureau, Gino jumped to his feet in erratic joy. "Alright! She said yes!"
By this point Suzaku was thoroughly confused by Gino's behavior.
The knight of three sat back down, excitedly texting his reply. Well, I better get to planning something special since it will be your birthday. Until then love. See ya!
Lita's eyes scanned over the message. She smiled broadly just as Rei yelled out in evident madness.
"WHEN DID YOU PLAN ON TELLING ME THAT YOU HAD A GIANT GOLDEN KNIGHTMARE PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE LITA!"
Rei was yelling at the senshi of thunder continuously while Ami tried to calm the temperamental girl down, but Lita hadn't heard a word. A full on scarlet blush was on her cheeks as she read the message over and over. She sent back a simple one-lined message.
See you then. J
Gino's smile widened as he read the text. With a small sigh of content he turned off the device in his hands before turning his head to address Suzaku. "What's up buddy?"
Suzaku simply stared as Gino waited for his reply.
"Gino…what was that about?"
The blonde knight simply laughed. "Nothing really. I just got a date with a beautiful woman next week. Love in the air my good man."
Suzaku felt his stomach tighten a bit. "That's nice Gino. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you," Gino replied, "but there was something else I needed to discuss with you. That Hotaru girl is awake now, but the doctor said that she has no memory of how she came to be at the hospital in the first place. He said it's a case of mild amnesia and that she should regain her memory in a few weeks. Apparently she hit her head after Zera sliced her back open."
Suzaku nodded. "I see. We'll have to wait on the questioning then. However, I received an anonymous tip about the person who created those things."
"Really? Who sent the tip?"
"I said it was an anonymous tip Gino," Suzaku pointed out. "I know it was a woman's voice though. Anyway, she told me that a woman named E.E. created those monsters."
"E.E.?" Gino questioned. "That's an odd name."
Suzaku narrowed his gaze on his laptop. "I wonder if she has any connection to C.C."
"Do you have any information on what this woman looks like?"
"No, just the name," Suzaku answered. "Still, if she's somehow connected to C.C., then there's a possibility that she'll be in the restricted files in this bureau's databanks. If not, then I could request an audience with the emperor and ask him about it. After all, it was him and V.V. who told me about Geass in the first place. They might6 know just who E.E. is and what she's aiming to do."
"Well, it's a start," Gino stated, smiling brightly. "By the way, we've been asked to oversee a public execution tomorrow."
"An execution?"
"Yeah, the police captured a few recruits from the Black Knights last week," Gino explained. "The police questioned them about where their base is and such, but none of them would say anything, just a bunch of weird babbling about their new leader would take over the world and yada yada."
"New leader? Could they mean Zera?" Suzaku inwardly questioned. "Gino, just when did the Black Knights get a new leader."
Gino shrugged. "I don't know much about it to be honest. Anya had the paperwork but she disappeared somewhere a few hours ago. I'm actually a little concerned about it. She almost always has this device on hand, but I found it laying in her bedroom."
Suzaku gave Gino a pointed look. "Gino, what were you doing in her bedroom."
Gino rubbed the back of his head as a blush rose on his face. "Well, I was looking to steal these chocolate candies she keeps stashed away in her room. She let me have one once and it was all gooey with chocolate and caramel…I just had to have another and I thought I would give some to Lita when we go on our date…"
"LITA!"
Gino stared up at Suzaku in bewilderment as he jumped up from his swivel chair. "Yeah, she goes to your school. Isn't she something? I hear that she's an amazing chef."
"Yeah, but…" Suzaku trailed off. He didn't know how to continue.
"Don't worry, I know she's Japanese already," Gino stated. "You know, I always thought I would fall for a Britannian woman, but the second I saw Lita I knew that she was the girl of my dreams, ethnicity aside."
Suzaku couldn't really say anything to that. It reminded him of Euphie.
Then again, everything reminded him of his beloved princess.
Still, Suzaku couldn't exactly let Gino go out on a date with Lita. She was Sailor Jupiter, an enemy of Britannia. If he revealed that though, it would become apparent that he knew the truth and he would be forced to arrest Lita, Rei, and all the others.
After what Rei had said, Suzaku was prompted to do just that, but he knew that Euphie wouldn't have wanted him to. He opted to just let the situation go. There was enough going on without having to deal with the inner Sailor Soldiers.
"Come on," Suzaku began, moving away from the swivel chair and desk. "We need to find Anya to look over that paperwork. We should question these prisoners ourselves before we allow the execution."
"Whatever you say," Gino replied, rising from the couch with Anya's handheld computer in tow. "I hope Anya will forgive me for taking this. She can be really dangerous when she's mad."
"Yeah, I know."
A/N: Initially I was going to add a segment in Lelouch's point of view in this spot, but I decided against it because what I have planned is better set in the next chapter. Plus I really wanted to focus on Serena and get insight on what's going on in the government bureau. Suzaku is looking for E.E. now, but there are some big plot twists that are coming. Next chapter there will be a major time skip and we will start with Lelouch's point of view. I will also warn you now that the next chapter is going to be a long one. A really long one. Hope you enjoyed this one. Have a nice day everybody.
