A/N: Please pretty please could some leave a review! How about one per chapter because it is quite disheartening for a wannabe writer when there's no feedback even if the stats counter does jump. I dunno, maybe take turns or something…sniff…
Disclaimer: I do not own HP or his parents.
FAUXITASERUM
Talking animals certainly took some getting used to but the Marauders and Lily took it in their stride. Nobody said anything more about Hogwarts being a target but the students could see teachers walking around warily during breaks and evenings, portraits were alert at all times and the prefects along with James and Lily were asked to patrol more often. However, despite these precautions life continued as normal as it could for a school like Hogwarts for about a week…
James stirred his potion lazily. Admittedly it was a halfhearted attempt and the liquid was maybe a shade lighter than it was supposed to be, but even then he knew it was enough to earn him a good solid pass.
A mixture of Lily and Quidditch dominated his wayward thoughts until he vaguely caught the end of the potion teacher's very long talk. "-Severus, please could you do me the honor of staying a while after this class? And you also Lily?" Professor Slughorn said towards the end of the lesson.
James snapped to attention immediately. The hazy, semi effort mood he'd lounged about in making his potion that lesson evaporated.
"Umm sure…" Lily agreed. She didn't have any lessons after this class anyway. Snape also nodded.
In James' opinion, being cooped up within a few meters from Snape for one lesson was bad enough but staying longer with only the two of them and Professor must be horrifying. At least with the whole class there his greasy presence would appear diluted.
Class finished and everyone filed out with James leaving last. "I'll wait for you outside." He'd said in a reassuring manner. He cast Lily one last look before the cracked wooden doors of the dungeon closed heavily. Lily picked up her bag and books and moved them to the bench in front of Slughorn's desk. Snape remained seated at the far off side.
Slughorn regarded them carefully from his chair and Lily looked back politely but secretly hoped that the strained buttons on his rich waistcoat wouldn't fly off and knock an eye out.
"My two best potion makers!" Slughorn announced with pride.
Lily shuddered mentally. Long had Slughorn been trying to get her to go to his little parties. She'd been to one and had seen enough not to go ever again. Maybe he was finally cornering them?
"I'm so very proud of you two! The very best taught by none other than myself! What can you say about that? But anyway, I'm getting quite carried away. The reason why I wanted you to stay behind is I would like to ask for a favor. As you may remember I always begin the year with some example potions. The more complex ones undoubtedly take much more time and attention. I was hoping that you two would give me a hand and prepare those for the next sixth year's class? I'm rather preoccupied with preparing the seventh year ones, got my hands quite full you see since some take well over six months to make."
Lily had a think. She did have quite a few free periods this year and there was no harm in practicing, she enjoyed potions anyhow. "Sure."
To her surprise Snape also quietly agreed.
Slughorn clapped his hands enthusiastically. "Excellent! We can get started straight away! I'll reward you both with many House points for your service of course!" he added.
Now that, Lily thought, wasn't too shabby at all, seeing as Gryffindor was still so pitifully low on points that even McGonagall seemed to have given up and refused to mention it anymore. "Which potions would you like us to prepare, Sir?" She asked and headed for the ingredient cupboard.
"Hmmm…Amortentia is always a must. Young people are, after all, always obsessed with love."
Lily shrugged. Slughorn had shown them Amortentia in their sixth year.
"As for the others, surprise me! But make sure you keep it at N.E.W.T. level. No advanced out of school potions. If you understand my gist?" the Professor said with a wink. In truth Lily didn't but then she didn't really want to.
"Severus my boy! Come closer and work down here. Be more sociable!" he laughed as if he'd said a very funny joke. "Ladies like their men to be more adept in social skills!"
Lily didn't dare look back. She'd half expected Snape to just leave after hearing a comment like that but to her surprise Snape wordlessly moved and dumped his bag and sat down on the same desk that she had left her bag. It was the far end of the bench but still the same one.
"Your help is much appreciated." He said while rising heavily to his feet. "Any questions then feel free to ask!" he waddled away and left via the another door clearly with his luxurious office as his destination.
Lily pulled out a cauldron. "Would you like to make the Amortentia or would you like me to do it?" she asked as much out of politeness as to break the silence that had suddenly descended like a heavy curtain in the stony dungeon. Even from where she stood at the cupboard she could feel hostility emanating from Snape.
"Chose as you please." He answered after a pause. His words were clipped and terse with impatience as if it were a foolish question. It made Lily glad that they didn't have to work together to make one potion.
"Do you have any ideas of what you would like to make?" She asked adopting another tactic. Meanwhile she pulled out a second cauldron and returned to their workbench placing one in front of her stool and the second in front of him.
He said nothing but stared at the cauldron as if it were diseased. Or touched by a Mudblood. Lily thought and rolled her eyes. This was no different from the childish 'lergies' thing that was so common while she was in primary school. Fine. She went back to the cupboard and picked out the things that she would need to make Amortentia and made a start.
Although Snape pretended he was alone in the room he must have been watching her because as soon as it became evident of what she had chosen he went to the cupboard and selected his own bits and pieces.
They worked in silence, which suited Lily just fine. Soon, her cauldron with it liquid contents was simmering gently. She stirred it once clockwise and then twice anti-clockwise and added exactly three flakes of the inner layer of seashells before stirring again. The potion instantly turned a beautiful grapefruit color and a fragrant swirl floated up pleasantly. Lily breathed it in. Even though it had long way to go before it could emit unique fragrances according to each individual's tastes she could already feel its enticing qualities. Still, the smell and the exact swirl told her that she was on the right path.
The potion had to gently simmer for another ten minutes before it needed to be stirred again so Lily sat down and began preparing an exotic but sweet little purple flower to be added afterwards.
Beside her, at the very end of the bench Snape was busy pushing his multi tasking skills to the test. With one hand he was mixing his boiling potion in a complicated pattern and with his other he was grinding a sandy substance with his pedestal. Occasionally he picked up a quill and scribbled a few squashed words in the margin of a well-used book.
Curious Lily peered over as inconspicuously as she could. The potion he was brewing appeared colorless even though he was adding an assortment of brightly colored powders in each step. Her first guess would have been that he was making Veritaserum but when she detected the faintest scent of sulphur she knew instantly that he was creating a potion that was way above N.E.W.T. level. Fauxitaserum.
In every textbook that contained information about Veritaserum there was always a side note or some sort of mentioning about it's twin potion the Fauxitaserum. In almost every aspect be it viscosity or color the two were completely identical with the only major difference being the functional properties of the potions. Veritaserum forced the drinker to tell the truth, Fauxitaserum forced the drinker to tell anything but the truth. To brew any of the two required a generous level of skill but the latter was not taught at N.E.W.T. level for obvious reasons. Especially since the only discerning quality lay within the faintest smell of sulphur that Fauxitaserum alone had, although it was usually undetectable to all except acute potion brewers.
Snape noticed Lily eyeing his potion and he smiled nastily. "Learn while you can."
Lily forced herself to smile civilly. "The Professor said N.E.W.T level. Fauxitaserum doesn't quite fit that requirement."
"He only said that because he has to. In reality he'd love to show off something much more unique than a standard N.E.W.T potion. But I'm surprised, so you do know something after all, but then everyone can read a textbook and follow instructions."
Lily snorted and went back to her potion refusing to fall into an argument. But Snape seemed to take her silence like some sort of victory and she could feel him gloating from the other end of the bench. In fact, it took him as far as speaking to her again, this time clearly baiting her.
"You make Amortentia well." He said, his compliment surprised Lily and she was about to thank him when he continued. "But then you must be well practiced to gain the likes of Potter and Black."
Lily's mouth dropped open into an 'o' rendering her speechless. Snape had already turned back to his potion this time smiling.
"Of course, I understand now." she said when she regained her voice. "It's only natural that people who don't know how to interact with others would think that the only way to form any relationship would be to trick them with magic and potions. I hear those sort of people suffer from abandonment and isolation issues." She said airily and unaware that she had accidentally struck a deep nerve.
Snape never talked about his childhood, he rarely even thought about it any more but somehow with a few flippant words Lily had dragged it back up through the mud of his past.
"Hit too close to home?"
He glared at Lily, which she returned with a wide-eyed innocence. "What would an air filled fool know? You're just a dither head fluttering around Potter's fake glory." He said nastily.
"Oh yea? And you're just a miserable sod with nothing but your studies and yourself with absolutely no glory."
Snape looked livid. "No glory? No glory…" he muttered to himself. There was no glory. Glory was for the idealistic fools that lived for unattainable dreams. She was right, there was no glory for him because he intended to not be a fool. In his mind he spat, glory can be bottled anyway.
Lily fully expected a barrel of insults in return but he fell back to his hostile silence and now she'd learnt that his silence was really for the best.
---
Almost two hours later Lily put her working cauldron on Slughorn's desk, trusting him to keep it aside until she returned to work on it again next week. She left the dungeon and the miserable Snape and breathed in the breezy air of the corridor. Somehow it seemed less dank and chilly there.
"Lily!"
She jumped at her name and spun around to find James sitting cross-legged by the door.
"James! I can't believe you are still here!" Lily said feeling a little guilty at having forgotten that he was waiting outside.
He got up quickly dropping a book from his lap. It wasn't often that she saw him with a book and it seemed kind of weird but oddly sweet. Lily gave herself a mental shake and tried to rid herself of her girlish thoughts. Snape did have a point, it seemed that she was fast becoming one of those giggle-at-air girls that often surrounded James, and pretty soon she'd be praising him for breaking school rules. Not if I can help it. The Lily of the old snapped.
"It's not like I had anything else to do." He replied rubbing his neck. "Free periods."
Lily flicked a tuft of hair out of his eye but then frowned. "I've got free time but I'm sure you have lessons!"
James shrugged. "They're not that important anyway."
Lily's eyes went wide. "Of course they are important! You better get going or I'll dock off some points!"
"We don't really have anymore to dock off."
He actually had a point, they didn't have many points and she certainly didn't want to undo the points she'd just earned for helping Slughorn.
"I mean it Potter, get going to lessons!" she warned.
"Oh relax Evans! Last class is almost over right about now anyway. By the time we reach the Common Room they'll be coming out."
Lily crossed her arms but he was right, lessons would finish soon and it was a little pointless.
"So, uh…what did Slughorn want? Took his leisure time didn't he?"
"He asked me to make Amortentia for him."
He stared at her, horrified. "YUCK! Which poor woman is he going to use it on?"
"Don't be daft! They're display potions for next year!"
"Oh." James looked relieved but then suddenly cheeky. "Amortentia ay? So that's what you've been feeding me all these years!" In truth it had been he who had been trying to feed Lily that exact same potion in the past but he didn't really want to bring that particular sore patch back up. His ego could still feel the backlash even after all this time.
"Hmph, you wish! But that's actually quite funny, Snape said the exact same thing."
The playfulness dropped away. "He did? Did he say anything else? Any rude names?"
Lily knew which one he had in mind since he'd always been rather sensitive to it. He hadn't called her that particular name but if she'd told him the other things he'd said James would be no less angry. Telling him would not be the wisest thing to do. She shook her head firmly.
Snape was difficult and could be very rude but much of it was probably stemmed from the fact that she was dating James and there was no denying the animosity between the two. However, as much as she had come to like the Marauders she was also aware that if they so wished, they could turn the life of any student in the school into living nightmares. Even her biased self couldn't be blind to their potential for being bullies.
He seemed skeptical at first but she insisted and he gave in eventually. "So that means you'll be spending like two hours every week in there with him?"
"Looks like it."
"Hmmm…" No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but feel a little disheartened. Why should she have to spend so much time with him?
---
From then on, every Monday and during any other time she could spare Lily stayed behind to work on her potion. At first James insisted that he wait outside but after hours of persuasion, curses, sweet-talking, hitting and threatening he finally relented and went to his lessons.
On the other hand she made little if any progress with Snape. The most he ever spoke was during that first session, as he now preferred to think of her as invisible or maybe just another piece of furniture in the dungeon.
Lily worked diligently on her potion and soon the first signs of a pearly sheen could be seen. Likewise his potions were also forming perfectly.
She'd been watching him closely, fascinated by the level of skill he demonstrated in potion making. He'd long since decided that he needed another challenge and set to work on making a Veritaserum to accompany the Fauxitaserum to boot. The latter had progressed so spectacularly that even Lily who was keenly sensitive to potions was having trouble detecting the sulphur.
"That's dangerous you know. You could easily mix the two up." She couldn't help but comment one day.
Snape gave her a look that clearly said 'Only an idiot would mix the two up' but Lily wasn't put off that easily.
"Can you even tell the difference between the two anymore?"
As expected he ignored her, instead he went to the cupboard to fetch his next ingredient but he came back with an empty bottle, apparently it had already been used up. With the bottle he headed towards the back were there was a large walk-in vault that was used to store all the supplies. The door closed heavily behind him.
Lily waited but it seemed that whatever it was that he needed wasn't easy to find and for several minutes all she could hear from the other side was his shuffling feet. Having never had the opportunity to compare the two infamous potions Lily took a chance. Carefully keeping an eye on the closed door she went over to his bubbling cauldrons. She viewed both liquids from all angles and found both looked no more remarkable than boiling water. Next she sniffed one and then the other and was rather disappointed that she could in fact no longer smell the sulphur at all. Did Snape really have a keener sense of smell than she did? How did he know which was which? And most importantly, would he be able to tell the difference if they were switched around?
Struck by a mixture of academic curiosity and mischief Lily decided to do something she would have killed James for if he'd done it. She switched the two cauldrons over and was careful to wipe off a smudge of purple pollen clinging to one and add one back onto the other. Once the deed was done she made sure she hadn't touched anything else and went back to her own cauldron.
Five minutes later Snape came back into the room carrying a full jar of dried husks called Seer's Eye. He took a few and crushed them before adding them to the cauldron on the right, the 'Veritaserum'. Both potions were as good as ready and according to the book they were finished but Snape was a perfectionist when it came to potions and he added the Seer's Eye to make it all the more potent.
Lily waited, looking over as often as she could without looking suspicious but an hour passed and Snape didn't seem to notice the difference. Interesting. So it turned out that he couldn't smell the sulphur anymore either. It was a huge risk of course, especially when making the two potions simultaneously but had Lily not switched the cauldron around he would have finished both perfectly. He was a good potions master she had to give him that, but right now she really needed the loo. She would tell him about her evil switching once she got back. He'd be angry of course but then he didn't even like her in the first place so there was nothing to lose. With that thought she went off to the ladies.
Snape watched her leave. He'd been waiting for her to leave for ages but she seemed determinably focused on staying today, more so than usual. He picked up a ladle and dipped it into the Fauxitaserum. Taking some out he poured it into a cup and waited for it to cool. To him, making this potion was easy; he'd been able to make it since last year and had been steadily taking it ever since…he shuddered, feeling uncertainty creep up his spine…
"What do you want with me?" Snape demanded warily.
"The question is, what do you want with me?" The tall figure replied. He was pale faced and ghostly looking, his handsome features looking somewhat plastic and gaunt.
He had not been expecting that. "Nothing." He almost stuttered and hated himself for it. It was a sign of weakness to cower even to him.
"But I have much to offer you." He said, his voice full of promise. "Much more than that old fool Dumbledore can give you. He favors the weak and forgoes the strong and worthy. That in itself is a weakness and you hate weaknesses…" his voice trailed, ending with a hiss.
Snape shivered, his voice affecting him more than he could control.
"You abhor weakness. Yesssss, I can see…right…through…you…"
And see right through him he could. Snape was held prisoner by his own body as dark eyes penetrated his and delved deep than into the recesses of his mind, disturbing forgotten dust and pulling out painful memories.
His Mother, cowering under his Father's forceful temper. How he hated her, hated her for her weakness and how he hated himself even more for crying.
"No…" he cried feebly fighting the invasion. But to his anguish more memories were torn from him.
He was running towards the Whomping Willow, this time sure that he would catch Black and his gang with enough evidence to get them expelled-
The werewolf!
The ravenous werewolf jumped on him; ready to deliver one last bite before it claimed it's meal on his flesh. The sheer terror that had passed and he knew he would die-
A stag! Charging the werewolf away and to his horror Potter was there. POTTER! His enemy had seen him in his weakness and shame!
"NO!"
The prying withdrew and he fell to the floor panting and shaking uncontrollably.
"Weakness is sickening isn't it?"
Snape couldn't bring himself to stand up again; all he could see was the eyes! The eyes of Voldemort! Such power! Had he so wished he could have broken his mind in a blink of the eye.
"I have no weaknesses. What more can you ask for a Master and Lord?" His voice slithered. Unseen tendrils reached out and gripped Snape firmly, pulling him down into the words.
"Rise to me." He whispered and held out a skeletal hand.
Snape wheezed. His mind and lungs oppressed by the dark wizard's power. "Yes, My Lord…"He whispered hoarsely and he took the hand…
That had been at the end of last summer. Now, he felt nothing but shame and rage. He'd never held allegiance to anyone, not even Dumbledore or Voldemort until that day. He had no choice. His mind was in pieces; he'd been broken. Consequently from that day he had studied Occlumancy religiously for fear of it happening again.
Fauxitaserum had also become a necessity, being at Hogwarts he was right under Dumbldore's nose, which was probably the intention of He-Who-must-not-Be-Named, but it also meant he was always in danger for being discovered. The potion ensured that he could never tell the truth thus guaranteeing his safety even when questioned. Even if he were forced to drink Veritaserum it would only null the Fauxitaserum and that was only if the former was strong enough. However, Snape knew how he could make his potion more potent.
He stared at the cup hatefully before downing it all in one go and slamming it so hard onto the table that glassware rattled and wobbled. He looked up only to find that Evans had returned and was now looking at him with disbelief.
"Did you just drink your own potion?" She asked incredulously.
"What good is a Potions Master if he dares not to drink his own brews?" He growled back.
Lily walked back to her seat; he'd drunk his own potion! But the question was which? Only one way to find out…
She took a deep breath. "Why do you hate me so much?"
He threw her a nasty look. "I don't." Not only did his answer surprise her but it also contradicted with the look he'd given her. Lily gasped; he'd taken the Veritaserum thinking it was the Fauxitaserum!
He also looked surprised but didn't seem to think much more of it than a slip of the tongue.
"You don't?"
"No."
"Then why do you hate James?"
"Because he saved my life that one time! I didn't need saving and now I'll always be in his debt!" he answered with utmost hate. "Everyone goes around treating him like a God just because he can ride a broom and throw a ball in the air! Everything he does is praised! He can spell a word correctly and be praised! I hate the likes of him! Born with a silver spoon his mouth! Mother loves him, Father is proud of him; all the teachers love him! The world adores him! If only he would just leave me well alone! But no, he deliberately seeks to challenge me, to laugh at me and humiliate me! All for his and his goddamn friends' amusement!" He was seething by the end of his rant.
Lily sat stunned. So that's why…he's a victim of bullying…Whether James had meant to do it or not this was how he affected Snape. The tormenting wouldn't have helped either. She cringed at the memory of their fifth year when James had dangled Snape upside down for all to see his underpants.
"Severus. I'm sorry. I truly am." She said ashamed because many a time she had been there too and she hadn't been able to stop it.
"Don't you dare feel sorry for me!" He thundered. Lily winced but took it all in. He deserved to shout it all out, no doubt if it weren't for the Veritaserum and her pressing he would have taken this to his grave. No wonder he was so anti-social.
"Severus…"
"I don't want you pity neither!" He snapped although he noticed that for the first time she had called him by his name.
Snape found speaking the truth scarily easy and to his horror he couldn't seem to stop. The Truth! Never in his whole life had he ever been that honest! He grabbed his empty cup in a panic and inhaled deeply. Nothing! No sulphur! But then he couldn't even smell it from the cauldron any more! Had he accidentally mixed the two up? Never! He was precise and accurate, every step was flawless unless…
"Did you mess with my potions?"
Lily swallowed, she was used to him being aloof and rude but now he was menacing. "I-"
"DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT?"
She nodded mutely.
Lily couldn't decide whether he looked more angry or horrified. His normally pasty face turned a nasty shade of scarlet. "YOU LITTLE-" he didn't even bother to finish it, instead he plunged his cup into the cauldron containing the real Fauxitaserum and gulped it down despite its scalding temperature. Once he'd drained one he dipped it in again and threw the hot liquid down his throat. He repeated this several times, ignoring Lily's pleas that he would burn himself until he'd finished the whole cauldron. Then, with one last truly venomous look he stalked out slamming the door hard behind him.
A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Undecided and in between? Click that button and TELL ME!
The Next chapter is called GREEN EYED. As I was writing it I yo yo-ed between liking it and disliking it…hmm so something to look forward to!
