CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Very Early June - Two months after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Song: Soldier by Samantha Jade


Steve glanced at the reflecting pool as the sun's light began to sparkle on the surface. He was close to finishing his final lap on a slowing warming June morning. As he rounded the corner of the park, he could not help but notice the older lady still sitting on the park bench, as she had been for the entirety of his run.

Every time he had passed her, she had given him a gentle smile, it was kind, but there seemed to be a touch of sadness to it for some reason. He had nodded at her during every lap, each time expecting her to be gone by the time he completed another. But still she sat, as if waiting for something, or someone.

As he slowed down, Steve took in her appearance a bit more carefully. She wore a flowing short sleeve blouse, in a very dark gray color with a pair of jeans. Her head held brown tresses, with a hint of silver mixed in, of very long, straight hair, which was braided and resting over her left shoulder. Even with it shortened by being braided, he saw that the tip of her hair touched her thigh.

Her pretty face showed no wrinkles, but he could tell that she had to be at least in her fifties. She held herself gracefully, but he could see a strong confidence in her. Her eyes were sharp, never leaving his own. He knew then that she was there for him. Taking a few deep breaths to cool himself down from the run, he made his way over to where she sat.

"Ma'am," Steve greeted her, coming to a stop a few feet in front of her, hoping that he was not wrong in the fact that she wanted to speak with him. He often got fans wishing to meet him, but they were usually not as subtle as she was being.

"Captain Rogers. It is a pleasure to finally meet you," the lady said, holding out her hand, a silver chain bracelet with three small charms hanging from it, the red star one catching his attention. Steve took her offered hand, giving it a shake as his mind questioned the jewelry. He found that the lady still had a very firm handshake for her age. "I thought that meeting you in a casual setting would be the best. I hope that you do not mind."

"I take it that you being here is not just a coincidence then?" Steve asked, slowing sinking onto the other end of the bench, keeping a respectable distance from her.

"No, it is not. I had one of my people do a bit of research, and when they said that you liked to take your morning runs here, I thought that this would be the easiest way to have a chance to talk privately with you about…someone."

Steve looked over at her with a bit more skepticism before, looking around the area to see if they were being watched. She saw his action and gave a gentle laugh.

"I'm sorry, Captain, I did not mean to make you paranoid," she smiled at him, turning her body slightly to face him straight on. "But I do need to speak with you about a very sensitive subject. The Winter Soldier."

Steve instantly became alert, straightening his posture a bit more, re-checking his surroundings. If she were a remnant of HYDRA, she had caught him during one of the few times when he would be unarmed. But there was nothing in the surrounding area he could spot that should be alarming. He turned his attention back to the curious woman in front of him.

"What about him?" Steve asked calmly. He would find out if she was another reporter trying to do a story, then give his usual official statement concerning what had happened.

"I was wondering if there had been any news about James, or if he has tried contacting you since SHIELD fell and he disappeared. I know that the public does not know what really happened to him, but I was hoping that you would be able to tell me that he was safe," she stated candidly, smiling a little at the shocked expression on Steve's face.

His jaw had dropped slightly at her admission to knowing Bucky's name.

After Natasha had dumped all of SHIELD's and HYDRA's files onto the internet, he had asked her to remove any files about Bucky. Steve was trying to protect him, and as far as he knew, any information linking James Barnes and the Winter Soldier was still not common knowledge.

"How do you know that name?" Steve asked firmly while staring the woman down. He had more questions jumping into his head every moment but it seemed he needed to keep on track with each statement from this woman. Then he just decided to ask, "Are you HYDRA?"

She gave a beautiful laugh at that, shaking her head as she told him, "No, I am definitely not HYDRA."

"Then, who are you?" he asked bluntly, knowing that even if she was, she would have said that.

"Lucinda Trencher. Most people call me Lucy, but please, call me Star. I do work for the F.B.I., but I am here for personal reasons."

"Then may I ask exactly what your interest is in him, ma'am?" not wanting to say his name out loud.

"He saved my life, Captain. Technically, you can say that he saved me three times. I had hoped that with the fall of HYDRA that he would finally be free from them," she said, but he could hear a bit of hesitation in her voice, as if she was worried.

Steve stared at the woman, not sure what to say. He glanced down again at the charms hanging from her wrist. When she saw where he was looking, Star lifted the bracelet up so that it rested in the palm of her hand, the simple red star taking on a new meaning for him. But then, Steve noticed that the other two charms were the letters W and S. As he then focused past the item, to the palm itself, he was able to see numerous faded scars all along her fingers and palms, which almost looked to be initials.

"I don't have anything to remember him by except this. I was working on a college project, and when I saw the star charm, I decided to make this. It was too dangerous for me to do anything else," she said, getting his attention, looking down at the charms with a glint of a tear in her eye.

"How do you know who he really is? Nobody except for higher ups in HYDRA knew his true identity."

"From my college history class. I had never paid that much attention to all of you during high school. To me as a teenager, you were all ancient history. I still remember the day that we started the chapter which focused on the Howling Commandos. The second that I saw Scary's picture, there was never any doubt in my mind as to who he really was. I knew that the books were wrong, and that James was alive. Maybe not well…but he was alive," Star said wiping the corner of her eye.

"Scary?" he asked curious as to her name for Bucky.

"That was all that I knew to call him by. He didn't know his own name, you see. I never told anyone the truth about him, I couldn't, until now. He warned me about HYDRA being everywhere, and thanks to you, I see that he was right. He would be so mad at me for even taking this risk, of speaking with you, but I now know that you are the only other person on earth who I can trust with this. Please, can you tell me if he is ok? I promise to answer all of your questions, but I have been waiting for so long to find out the answer to that question," Star said a bit more anxious this time.

Steve considered for a moment on how to handle the situation and decided to just talk openly with her. She seemed to have information about Bucky, and was willing to share it. She already knew too much for him to like. But he could also hear the hope in her voice as she spoke, sounding as if she wanted a positive answer from him, but which he knew that he did not have.

"I have not seen him since the day the Helicarriers fell. We fought that day, while he was still under the influence of HYDRA, but he did end up pulling me from the Potomac River, before I could drown. I hope that means that he finally did remember me. I have been looking for him, but with no luck."

"But you do believe that he is safe somewhere? Free of HYDRA's mind wipes and not trapped somewhere in cryostasis?" she asked looking hopefully at him after hearing his statement.

His mouth then fully dropped open when she mentioned him being put under, because that was definitely not common knowledge. Was this woman actually associated with HYDRA somehow? Had she lied to him? Star then looked at his shocked face and began to laugh at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not explaining myself very well, or at least in the proper order."

"That is a big possibility," he agreed with her, giving a cautious smile to her. "And yes, I do not believe that he was taken away, but that he left under his own willpower."

He could see her entire body relax as if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Star reached over, placing her hand on Steve's shoulder to comfort him.

"I have waited just over thirty years to finally hear that. I hope…no, I know that you will not have to wait that long before you will see your friend again," Star said, with certainty in her voice.

"Thirty years?" Steve looked her in the eye wishing that he had the confidence in that statement that she seemed to have. He wondered if Star could see the doubt in his eyes.

"Yes. A lifetime. I promised to tell you my story. It does not start off happy, but then not many stories do…do they?" she said pulling her hand back and adjusting her seat to get comfortable.

"It seems like it has a happy ending though, judging by the fact that you are here to tell it to me, right?" Steve asked with a smile on his face, still wondering if she was lying to him for some reason. He hoped that by finding out her story would calm his fear about her.

"Yes, and not just for me. Because of what Scary did, I have devoted my life trying to save others from the same fate I would have had. You see…when I met the Winter Soldier, in October of 1983, I was a prisoner as someone's sex slave. I was there the day that my former owner, Yury Kozlov, was assassinated by the Winter Soldier."

Steve looked over at her, letting her words work their meaning into his head. She could probably see by the expression on Steve's face that he had gathered the meaning of her words. He turned away from Star, blushing slightly at the bluntness and topic of her conversation. She gave his hand a gentle pat to show her amusement at him being embarrassed.

"At the time that the Winter Soldier as assigned to eliminate Kozlov, I had been his sex slave for over four years. Kozlov was in negotiations to turn over information on the inner working of HYDRA, in Russia, to SHIELD. They found out what he was doing, and sent Scary to eliminate him. Kozlov had also grown tired of me, and had me taken to the remote location where he liked to permanently dispose of his 'pets', as he called us. That was how Scary saved me the first time. The Winter Soldier killed him and his guards, but Scary was not expecting to find me there also. He said that I did not fall into the parameters of his mission statement. Kozlov's timetable for arriving there was unknown, so Scary had days until his extraction was to take place. He decided to let me live until it was closer to the time he had to leave, then he was going to have to kill me, for the security of his mission. But, after spending over a week with him, things happened, and he decided to release me, before HYDRA arrived for him."

Steve sat in stunned silence as he listened to her story, but he had to know something.

"You spent over a week with him? Did Bucky remember who he was?" Steve asked impatiently.

"No, not as far as I know, and if he did, he did not say anything to me," Star sadly admitted. "I would like to think that if he had, that he would not have waited for them to arrive."

Nodding his head, Steve had to agree with her. He had only had the one chance to really talk with Bucky, while they were fighting on the Helicarrier, but it had seemed to be enough time to overcome some of HYDRA's programming, or at least seem familiar to him. It seemed that meeting Star somewhere strange was not enough to free his mind.

"But during our time together, he slowly began to change, to show emotions and…well, anyways. He worked out a plan to get me to the U.S. Embassy in Moscow on the day that he was extracted back to his base, saving me the third time. I had to be very careful explaining the story that Scary had instructed me to tell. He had also told me enough of how HYDRA worked so that I knew I had to always be careful. When I got back home, I started college and got a degree in international criminal justice. I then joined the F.B.I., and have worked in their division focusing on sex trafficking, because of what Scary did for me. Because of him, a lot of families have a happy ending," Star said before pausing.

Steve nodded in understanding, but he had heard the hesitation as she had begun to speak. There was something a bit more that she was hesitant about revealing.

"I'm glad that you didn't talk, or ever mention him and his true identity. HYDRA had infiltrated all sections of the government and security agencies. If you had said anything, I have no doubt that you would have either been killed, or just made to disappear," he said plainly, not beating around the bush with her.

"When I left, he warned me against saying anything, and that there was a chance that they could possibly even send him to kill me. And if they did, that he would not remember me due to the mind wiping," Star said glancing down at the charm again. "I just hope that he really was able to get away from them that day."

Steve listened as Star then reminisced about some of her interactions with Bucky during the time she had spent with him. She had to tell him to close his mouth when she told him about how he had taught her the basics of being a sniper, then how to handle, assemble, and shoot the different guns they had. Star pointed out to him that it was Bucky's training of her that made her recruitment into the F.B.I. easier, since she knew how to shoot so well. Bucky had told her to keep training, learning how to protect herself, and she had.

He laughed out loud hearing about how Bucky had consumed any food that she made for him. He never was one to let food go to waste. Her teasing him about his addiction to Turkish Delight sounded so much like his old friend, not what they had turned him in to.

When Star told him of how the other three men arrived at the house to kill Kozlov and her, he almost could not believe how Bucky had saved her a second time. Bucky did not have to put himself into a situation where it was possible to have his mission compromised, but he had done so to save Star. Even as she talked about the event, she seemed so calm.

As the sun made its way higher, they continued to talk, knowing Star was happy to finally be able to share her stories with someone else. He began to realize as she spoke that there was not a bit of fear in her voice. Steve also learned that she had never married, instead focusing on her work. She eventually admitted to him that keeping a relationship was hard, especially when she said that the men she had tried dating had such a high standard to live up to. That was when he really began to understand the depth of the relationship the two of them had formed.

"Star…did you fall in love with the Winter Soldier?"

"Yes, I did…but I sometimes wonder if I fell in love with the parts of him that were James. But really, they are one in the same, no matter what."

Steve sat there shocked for a few moments before he began to laugh, getting a curious look from Star.

"I don't know how much those history books told you, but Bucky always did have a way with the ladies," he admitted to her. But he realized that inside, he was glad that there was at least one other person out in the world that was not scared of Bucky.

"Do you know about the Chair? What it did to him?" Star eventually asked him.

"I found some files, telling how it was used to wipe his memories. That was why he didn't remember me. But, I think that some part of him did, and that was the part that pulled me from the river."

"Scary told me what was going to happen to him when he got back to the base. That the Chair would make sure that our time together would be gone. He believed that the Chair erased his memories, but if what you say is correct, maybe they only suppressed them. I actually tried to convince him to run with me, to leave HYDRA behind, but he said that he couldn't. That it was too dangerous…for him and for me. He said that by going back, that he would be keeping me safe. That if we ran, that HYDRA would hunt us down. ."

Bucky had a slight chance to leave, but he had not. He had been worried for Star. Had he also grown feeling for the girl he had been spending time with? Steve liked to think that he had. That at least Bucky had that small bit of happiness during his lifetime of hell…before it was ripped away from him.

Deciding that Star needed to know the full truth about what had happened, Steve then began to tell her about what had led up to Bucky being lost from the train, as well as the information from the file that Natasha had been able to get him about his second capture. He gave her just enough so that she knew part of how he had been tortured and manipulated into the Fist of HYDRA.

"If only I had known then, who Scary really was, maybe I could have changed his mind. Back then, I believed that he had volunteered to become the Winter Solider."

Steve watched as Star slightly began to breakdown, taking her hand into his to try and comfort her as she took in the painful life that had led Bucky to her. She looked so heartbroken but with her request to do so he continued the story, finally getting to where Bucky had saved him from drowning.

They continued to reminisce for a short time before Star's phone rang. Instead of answering it, she sent it to voicemail but he knew that it meant that she probably needed to go.

"When you finally find him, can you let Scary know that he has at least one other friend out here, even if he doesn't remember me?" Star asked, and Steve could hear her voice shaking as she spoke, trying to hold her emotions inside once again. "He only called me by the name Star, and he may remember this," she said reaching up to pull the top of her shirt away from the pink star tattoo resting on her collar bone.

"I made him promise, on that last day, to come back to me. A foolish request of a love struck young girl, so I will understand if he doesn't want to see me…either because he doesn't want to...but more than likely because he doesn't remember me. But, when you find him, could you at least let me know that he is alright, and safe, either way?"

"I certainly will, Star," Steve said, watching as Star stood up to leave. He stood up along with her, hating that their time had been cut short. She pulled a business card out of her pocket and handed it over to him.

"Call me any time you want to talk. I would love to hear more about James, and I have more stories about Scary, some even not x-rated for sensitive young ears such as your own," Star grinned, making him smile at the tease. She turned to step away, but then she paused at looking over at the water. Her voice was strained as she admitted, "When I got here this morning, I had a sliver of hope that I would find the two of you running together."

When she started to leave, he called out, "Star," getting her attention.

She slowly turned to look at him, and he saw raw pain of her expression at the fact that Bucky had not been here. He knew the feeling, but seeing her hurting so much made him feel even worse.

"Would you have said something? Even if you were sure that Bucky did not recognized you?" he asked.

Star tilted her head down to stare at a rock that she nudged with the tip of her shoe for a moment.

"I don't know. Maybe if I had found him here with you, safe...I think that it may have been enough to ease the hurt of having to lose him all over since he would not have remembered me."

Reaching out, he held his arms open. Star realized what he wanted, giving him a lovely smile, and stepped forward into his embrace.

Steve whispered into her ear, "Thank you for being a friend when he needed one. Even if he did not know it. And I will be calling you."


Mid-July (Roughly Six Weeks Later)

Sitting down at a table in the small diner, Bucky pulled the small notebook from his coat pocket along with a pen, two items he always kept on him now. He began to write down what he could remember from the dreams that had once again haunted his sleep. It was still early in the morning, so the diner was not crowded, and the waitress came over to his table not long after he sat down. The radio was playing music in the background, just enough to drown out the sound of the other diners conversations.

"What will it be, darlin'?" she asked with a heavy southern drawl.

"Coffee, black, and keep it coming," he said, not looking her in the eye.

"Sure thing, honey," she said walking away after dropping a menu across from him, hitting something and making it knock into the wall the table butted into. Looking over, he saw that a small pile of broken crayons was lying near the sugar bowl. He continued to write even as the waitress delivered the cup of coffee without waiting to see if he wanted anything else.

He was still trying to keep a low profile as he hid from what could remain of HYDRA. He knew the punishment for running the way he had, but after seeing Steve, remembering him just enough, he knew he couldn't go back to them, even if he hadn't understood why at the time.

Ever since he had gone to the museum and seen his own face staring at him, the memories had been slowly coming back to him. As more memories of a scrawny blond kid came back, he had considered trying to contact Steve, but doing so would put the Punk in danger. HYDRA, if they were still out there, would never stop looking for him.

He was surprised that after the fall of SHIELD and HYDRA, that his mission files had not been everywhere, but for some reason they were not. There had been plenty of other missions leaked, but not a single one of his. He could only guess that Steve had something to do with that. He had expected every available government agency to be hunting him down, but so far, he had not had any encounters with anyone.

Had Steve somehow managed to take down all of HYDRA? Was he truly free? If he was, could he contact Steve? So many small pieces of his old life had returned, and most of them included his best friend. Steve would be able to answer so many of the questions he had. Bucky knew that he had no one else after being frozen for so long. Everyone he ever knew was dead. But somehow the Punk had managed to stay alive.

Over the next couple of minutes, he finished off one cup of coffee while writing, trying to figure out what images had been real, and when or where they had taken place. The waitress silently filled his cup for him, before moving to the next table. Customers continued to enter the diner, the music kept playing in the background, and he found himself staring out of the window, trying to figure out the missing piece to the event. His memories were there, he was just having a hard time making them fit. It was like watching scenes from someone else life.

Listening to the radio announcer over the speaker, he heard, "…so be careful on the crosstown and expect heavy delays. Now, in honor of my wedding anniversary, I'm going to play the song my wife and I used for our first dance. I love you, buttercup," as the song stared in the background.

Soft piano music began as the man began to sing soft lyrics. He was not sure why but his mind zoned away from the memory he had been trying to capture. Instead, all of his focus was on the strangely familiar song. Why? There was no way he had ever heard this song before...right? Bucky then glanced down at the open book.

Turning to a new page, he stared at a large white section of the notebook, his mind trying to come up with an image of…something. Closing his eyes, he tried to figure out what was bothering him, why this song seemed to be pulling at him to remember something. When his eyes opened, he was looking towards the pile of broken crayons, one color in particular getting his attention.

There was an image in his mind that he needed to see. Picking up the broken item and letting his hand take over, he watched as the haunting image took shape on the paper in front of him. He scratched out the crude, simple shape easily.

As he placed the pink crayon back on the table, Bucky stared at the image he had drawn in his latest memory book. At first, he had believed that he was just drawing his own star, from his shoulder, but the moment he had seen the crayon, he knew that it had to be pink, not red.

"…We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow? Let's make it last, let's find a way…"

As different images started to flash quickly through his mind, he gripped his head as he closed his eyes, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

A house, a wooded area, a lake, a beautiful smiling girl in a red dress looking down at him, a fireplace, his hands running through long brown hair. When they were finished, he glared down at the image in his book again, his chest tightened in pain.

Or was it something else?

"Star," he whispered…

End of Act: One


Author's Note: Believe it or not, the very first scene I thought of, and partially wrote, for this story was when the three guys broke into the cabin, taking Star captive and Scary saving her. The next part was Star talking with Steve. Everything else came later. That's just how my mind works sometimes.

Also, in case you didn't notice, since the first posted chapter, the picture related to this story is the bracelet that Star is wearing when she meets Steve. I actually made this and used a picture of it. It does not show the full bracelet, only the WS & red star. I love wearing it in public to show my fandom. I have a picture of the full bracelet on DeviantArt, just search for unajet and you should be able to find it.

The start of the next chapter is the beginning of the sequel written months after this 'end' of their story. To keep it simple, it will be posted under this same title so consider it Act: Two.