Chapter Forty-Nine:
Robin sat in the plush chair in the office of Dr. Holly, a psychiatrist recommended by Elizabeth. Dr. Holly had been with the hospital for a while and she dealt with trauma and anxiety disorders. Robin also appreciated the fact she didn't know her, and hopefully could get a nice and objective perspective.
She knew Patrick wanted to help her, and she appreciated that, but she needed to try and put her life back together; her trauma being a huge hurdle. She also needed to be able to see Dr. Obrecht and not freeze.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Holly," a kind looking older woman smiled as she shook Robin's hand before sitting down.
"Hi," Robin smiled and looked at her. "I'm Robin Scorpio."
"Nice to meet you," Dr. Holly smiled again and Robin was surprised she didn't have a pad of paper with her.
"So tell me why you're here," she said.
"Didn't you read my chart?" Robin asked, surprised.
"I don't care about your chart right now, I care about you and what I can do to help you. I want to know why you're here," she smiled and there wasn't the least bit of a pretentious nature in her voice.
"Oh," Robin looked at her hands. "I have been through something and I guess I'm having trouble readjusting to normal life."
"Okay, but why do you think that is?"
Robin shrugged.
"I think because life looks like it was before, but everything about it is different for me. I'm not sure how to fit back in."
"Tell me how it's different for you. What specifically has changed?"
"I was kidnapped three years ago and held for two years. I was home for a month and then I left again of my own free will but was tricked. I was held for another year and just got home about six weeks ago."
Dr. Holly didn't seem phased.
"Can you tell me more?"
Robin nodded.
"I was happily married when I was taken the first time. I was presumed dead and since that moment, my husband has moved on with two different women. When I left the last time, he divorced me."
"How did that make you feel?"
Robin's eyes darted to the woman's face before she looked again at her hands.
"I understood why he did it."
"I see," Dr. Holly paused. "Can you tell me what happened while you were held?"
"I tried to get away so they gave me shock treatments, but I survived. They needed me to work on a medical problem, so I tried to do what they needed so I could go home. I prayed someone would pick up on the clues that I was alive and come for me."
"But that didn't happen?"
Robin met her gaze.
"That didn't happen. I was found by accident. I came home to find my husband at his wedding to another woman."
"Did he welcome you home?"
"It was a confusing time. He was happy to see me, of course, but it took him a few weeks to figure out what he wanted. He came back to me, but the other woman was pregnant. It was a really ridiculous situation and I upset everything. My daughter was put in the middle and I never wanted that."
"Why did you choose to leave after a month?"
"My friend was in trouble and my medical expertise may have saved him. I worried he was locked up alone like I was and I felt like I had to try and help. Patrick, my husband, was completely against me going, but I did anyway. He divorced me while I was gone, but there was so much going on that he didn't know. He never tried to figure it out. He was ready to move on from me and I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to move on from him."
"What happened while you were gone this time?"
Robin hugged her arms around her body.
"I think I may have been raped, but there is no way to know for sure. I don't think it really matters, but it's preventing me from sleeping in a bed. That's why I'm here. I need to get back to normal."
Dr. Holly nodded.
"I don't think that's really the issue."
Robin sighed and shrugged.
"Can I pretend it is?"
The doctor smiled and Robin wiped her eyes.
"Not quite. Let me ask you something. Why would you think being raped doesn't really matter?"
Robin chewed on her lip and was quiet.
"I guess because it's over and I can't change it. I don't know how to process that and give it attention without falling apart. I haven't been able to spend the night in a bed since I've been home and Patrick has tried to help me, but it hasn't work."
"Patrick is being supportive of you?"
Robin smiled.
"He is. He has been great and I know he wants more, but I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can be with him again."
"Why not?"
Robin felt her tears fall as she looked at Dr. Holly.
"Because he broke my heart."
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Patrick sat and waited and felt silly. He should have told Robin he was coming here, but he thought he would chicken out.
He just knew he had to do something. He couldn't keep saying the right things if he never changed his behavior. Elizabeth told him of a psychiatrist who practiced with the doctor Robin was seeing, so he figured he would give it a shot.
"Dr. Drake?" An older gentleman walked in and shook his hand, sitting across from him. "I'm Dr. Cruze."
Patrick shook his hand and nodded.
"Please call me Patrick."
"So what can I do for you?"
Patrick chuckled.
"You can tell me how to get my wife to trust me again? I mean my ex wife."
"You're divorced?"
He sighed.
"Yes."
"Her choice?" Dr. Cruze asked.
Patrick felt his shame.
"No, mine."
"I see. So why are you trying to get her to trust you? Did you do something to break her trust?"
Patrick ran his hands through his hair.
"This was a stupid idea. I should go."
Dr. Cruze took a drink of his water and Patrick looked at him.
"Aren't you going to stop me?"
"You are here of your own free will. If you want to leave, that's your choice."
"That's an ironic choice of words," Patrick said and sighed.
Dr. Cruze smiled.
"You'll have to be more specific."
"Free will. My wife had been held captive for almost three years."
"By you?"
Patrick blinked.
"No, of course not by me. She was kidnapped and held for two years and then she willingly walked away from me and was held again for a year. What the hell kind of question is that?"
"One that got you to answer with more than four words."
Patrick was quiet.
"Is your wife safe now?"
"Yes and no. She is home but she isn't okay. She needed me and I abandoned her. She was in trouble and I sent her divorce papers. She fought her way home to me and I was in bed with another woman."
"Are you in love with her?"
Patrick didn't hesitate.
"Absolutely."
"Do you think she loves you?"
"I do, but she doesn't trust me. She is so hurt and I can't break through her walls. She has also been through hell and we are just beginning to uncover the horror she endured. I am trying to be with her, but she simply doesn't trust me. I need you to help me get through to her."
Dr. Cruze sat back and nodded.
"Are you through telling me what needs to happen and are you ready to listen to what I think you need to hear?"
Patrick stared at him.
"I'm listening."
"Everything you have said to me has been about what has happened and what you want to happen now. You need to stop trying to go back and fix something that can't be fixed. What your wife needs to see is the man you are now, after all of the time apart, is the man she wants to be with. I think you need to also explore a few glaring issues within your own life."
"Glaring?"
Dr. Cruze nodded.
"You said she needed you and you abandoned her. You said she came home and found you in bed with another woman. Those are pretty profound statements and I'm not sure she is the one who needs to forgive you."
Patrick was confused.
"I don't follow."
Dr. Cruze sighed.
"Why did you file for divorce?"
Patrick felt his eyes fill with tears.
"Because she broke my heart."
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