AN: Hei.
Sorry, I know I'm updating a lot today, but I won't be able to update but like once tomorrow because I'm being drug to church. Fun..not. Stupid, close-minded bastards, the lot of them. Oh well, I get to hang out with Denmark, Iceland and Russia at church, at least. It's nice, hanging out with them. They make it fun.
But I'll lose my sleep. Again.
To those who reviewed:
Spamano4ever: I'm glad you like it!
Enjoy.
Lovino's alarm on his phone went off at six, waking him up. He cut it off and sighed. "Toni,"he whispered softly.
Antonio woke up slightly.
"I gotta get up and get ready for work, tesoro."Lovino murmured.
Antonio sighed, glancing at his watch. "It's only six. What time do you have to be at work?"
"In an hour."Lovino responded.
Antonio sighed and pecked Lovino's lips softly before he let the Italian up.
Lovino got up and went to fetch his uniform from his school bag, which he had with him due to the fact that he did have to work over break. As soon as he had gotten his clothes, he disappeared into the bathroom.
By the time he came back, the others were up and moving. They usually got up early like this if they hadn't been up all night.
Feliciano smiled at his brother when he saw him in uniform. "Aw, Lovi, you look so cute!"he cooed.
Lovino tiredly flipped his brother off. "Shut up, fratello."he grumbled.
Antonio grinned. "He's right. You look nice,"
Breakfast was silent. Everyone else was up and ready for the day by the time it was over and cleaned up.
Lovino sighed, glancing at the clock before he bid the group farewell and left.
Feliciano frowned as soon as his brother left. "He's always so tired recently.."
Francis half smiled and spoke. "He's fine, Feli. He's just had a lot to do. School and work both? It can drain a person. He'll be fine when he catches up on his sleep."
Feliciano nodded and let the topic drop. "So..what are we doing today?"
"Until Lovino gets home? We are working on outside decorations. So get buddled up,"Antonio said. They had all agreed to stay at the Spaniards over the break if possible, so that's what they were doing. There was a lot of scuffling while everyone got buddled up, but after that, the group had fun doing the outside decorations. Feliciano ended up falling into the snow after slipping taking a step back from a ground decoration and laughed, making a snow angel before he got up and continued helping.
Ludwig stopped Feliciano, brushing the snow off him before letting him get back to work.
When Lovino got home that evening, they started working on the Christmas tree. Afterwards, they settled down again. Lovino curled up against Antonio's side after he got changed into some ratty jeans and a long sleeved shirt of Antonio's, listening to his heartbeat silently.
The door opened then, as well as a knock sounding on the metal. "Guten Tag, guys." Vash's voice sliced through the silence.
The Swiss entered, closing the door behind him. Lovino knew that Roderich had to help his own family with decorations and such. Vash was probably already done with his as well.
"How'd things go today?"
Feliciano grinned, giving the Swiss a tight hug as he joined them. "It was fun. It sucked that Lovi had to miss it."
Vash looked over at Lovino, who seemed pretty content with not helping. "I think he'll be alright."he said. "After all, we can't have him tiring himself out too much, can we?"
Lovino huffed. "I can hear you, idiota,"he said, rolling his eyes.
Vash smiled slightly. "I was wondering. Do these guys know what you like about your job?"he asked.
"They don't know much about my job,"Lovino offered.
Vash rolled his eyes. "He gets to sing. And when they have down time in the restruant, they usually let him play guitar as well. A few customers have actually asked him to play something for them before. It really helps business there on slow days."
When Matthew looked to Lovino, it was to gain a nod from the Italian. "What was the last song you played?"
"Um..I played something today for one of the females in the restruant. She just offered a way to answer questions from others - including coworkers. They all know about Antonio, since we do actually talk in spare time,"Lovino said. "And..you'd kill me, Matt, but.."
Matthew rolled his eyes, going to get an acoustic guitar from one of the spare rooms in the home and handing it to Lovino. "Play it."he said, sitting back down.
Lovino huffed, sitting up and moving away from Antonio so he could play the song properly.
He sighed before he started playing. He bit his lip before he sung as well.
"When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. But darling, you are the only exception..."
Matthew sighed. Of course. It would be that.
"Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts and we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face. And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness, cause none of it was ever worth the risk."
Feliciano gasped. He knew the song. He also knew it was true for Lovino.
"I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.. You are the only exception. You are the only exception.. and I'm on my way to believing..."
Lovino set the guitar aside after that and looked up. "Any other questions?"he asked.
Feliciano spoke. "I have one. Do they know your past? All of it?"
"No. No one does, aside from you and Vash."Lovino said, looking down.
Feliciano nodded. "Well..I was wondering. Because that song...it's dead on, Lovi. It describes you so well, your past it played out in it with how you sing it. So..why don't you let these guys know..since you've already laid it out for them to find?"
Lovino met his brother's eyes and shook his head. "I ..I can't.."he said, shame lacing his words. "I won't be able to."
Nobody responded for a long while before Francis realized what was going on and he looked at Lovino. "Lovino, I want you to be honest with me, okay?"
Lovino hesitated before he nodded, looking at the frenchman. "Okay."he said quietly, allowing Antonio to draw him to him again.
Francis was quiet for a moment before he spoke softly. "I know this isn't your first relationship..and I need to know three things. First of all, I want to know how long you were involved with the mafia."
"Since I was eleven years old."Lovino answered softly.
Vash winced. That wasn't good. Even though it was only a six year difference from then to now, it had obviously been harsh on Lovino.
Francis nodded. "Alright, next. That relationship..was the other person involved in the mafia in any way?"
Lovino hesitated, looking like he wanted to lie to keep the others happy, but he sighed. "..yes."he answered. "Another inductee like me."
Francis sighed. "I know it was abusive. To what point?"
Lovino looked at Francis with wide eyes. He most certainly wasn't answering that. "That is none of your business,"
Antonio tightened his arms around Lovino in a comforting gesture.
Feliciano wanted to answer for his brother, but he couldn't bring himself to.
Nobody spoke for the longest before Lovino spoke and broke it. "It wasn't bad. More emotional than anything. Almost never hitting. I wouldn't've stayed, not if it was physical."
Feliciano got up and moved to whisper something to Francis before going back to his seat.
Francis sighed. "Figures.."he mumbled. He sighed again before he nodded. "Okay. Listen, Lovi. I don't mean to upset you with the questions, you know this. But have you ever heard the quote 'you only except the love you feel you deserve'? Because that's what you were doing back then. You felt worthless, you found someone who would treat you that way. Stop doing that. And..for god's sake please tell us if something's going on with you. You cut yourself off so bad back then. It scared the shit out of me, and your brother was so fucking lost without you being yourself."
"I know. You don't have to lecture me."Lovino snapped. "It's in the past, so let it go. Damn... I would've lied if I knew how overbearing you were going to be."
Vash cleared his throat. "Lovino. Calm down. He cares about you. All of us care about you. Stop being stubbron."
Lovino glared at his 'brother'. "I can manage myself. You guys worry for yourselves and let me handle my problems and my past on my own unless I ask for help."
Silence fell. But this one was tense.
Feliciano's eyes filled with tears. "Please don't fight. It's the holidays. Please."he said. "I don't want this to be like every holiday when we were little."
Lovino let it go then and nodded, forcing himself to calm down and breathe.
Antonio was quiet. He wanted to know why Lovino was so guarded, but he wasn't going to ask if it made him this uncomfortable. Instead, he pressed a soft kiss to Lovino's lips and whispered a soft, 'Te amo' to him, gaining a faint smile.
Vash smiled at this. It seemed Antonio was content with not knowing as long as Lovino was happy. He spoke again after a while. "I actually came over with some gifts for you guys. For the holidays. 'Cause I'm going to Roderich's for Christmas, and I don't feel much like dragging him from his family."
"Vash, you didn't need to do that."Lovino said. "Seriously, the holidays are just time to spend with the people you love. Just send us a text or something saying Merry Christmas, it's the same."
Vash shrugged. "And? I get a chance to actually give mein kleine BrĂ¼der something and not get blessed out for it. I'm taking that chance."
"Jerk."Lovino grumbled.
"Aw, you love me."
Lovino flipped him off, making Vash laugh lightly.
Despite the tense conversation, the day had ended on a very loving note. And it was happily accepted.
Here ya go.
