Short, but fruitful. :)


Patricia Steiner was not one to meddle. That was an occupational hazard she usually avoided at all cost. But for Patrick and his current situation, a little revelation here and there was absolutely needed. When she saw Teresa return with her suitcase and head for the shower, Patricia knew her work was done. The two of them would have to sort out the rest of it themselves. When Patrick returned showered and dressed and with a strangely calm demeanor, she knew she needed to be ready for the consequences.

She was sitting on the bed closest to the timeline, sorting and studying the Red John case files.

"I'd like to talk to you privately," Patrick said with just the slightest hint of edge.

She was thankful he was attempting to control his fury. "Of course," she said. She stood and followed him into his room, closing the door behind her.

Patrick turned and looked at her. She expected him to tear into her, but was surprised to see his mind racing with no words following to convey his thoughts. She felt his confusion, like he didn't know where to start.

"I'm sorry, Patrick," she said gently. "I don't usually interfere, but I felt that I must."

He shook his head, at a loss. "I don't understand. Are you trying to ensure you'll never have a relationship with me?"

"No, of course not."

"Because that is what you're doing. And that doesn't make sense to me."

She opened her mouth to explain but decided that to start with the literal truth would not appease. She closed her mouth and contemplated him. She noticed he was attempting to read her but not using his abilities to find answers, and she realized how hesitant he still was about his gift.

"Patrick, you might think of this end game with Red John like a chess game. You can play it out in a messy, brute force way that will be slightly embarrassing for everyone or you can finesse an ending that will elevate you and those you love."

Patrick closed his eyes tight in frustration and pressed the palm of his hand on his forehead as if to stem the pain. "Will you just stop it with the either/or scenarios!" he said. "You obviously can't predict the future and yet you keep trying to scare me with these opposing outcomes." He dropped his hand and stared angrily at her.

"There is no middle ground here, Patrick. Trust me. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to inform you, like I informed Teresa."

"Trust you? Really?" he scoffed. "The only reason you are here now is because you happened to see my face on TV. I let you in despite that and this is what you do? You drive a wedge between me and Teresa?"

"That's a wedge that was going to happen no matter what," Patricia said quickly. "I just sped up the timing." She had his attention. "You know full well that Teresa wants to think the best of you. She has unconsciously resisted you because deep down she knows there is uncertainty about what you will do and who you are loyal to. I have simply brought that uncertainty to the surface so you both can make conscious decisions. She may like to avoid uncomfortable truths, but for you to allow her to avoid them until the final moment of truth would be unforgiveable. She would feel betrayed and abandoned. You need to know that just as much as she needed to know that loving you may not be enough for you to change your course."

She stopped to let him digest what she had said. He stared hard at her and she saw how difficult the truth was for him to hear. He wanted to write her off, write her out of his life forever.

"You have been alone for so long, Patrick. It doesn't have to be a life sentence."

"You don't know what's going to happen! It's obvious that you don't know, so why are you pushing so hard on this when you know it will ruin any chance of you being in my life?"

"You're right. I can't predict what hasn't been decided. But I can see possibilities. I see you. I see Teresa. You have your own blinders and she will not forgive everything. There is a part of you that is very cold and ugly and you have nurtured it over the years. You call it loyalty to your wife and child. You think of your wedding ring as a talisman that will protect you when you let that ugly part loose. But it's not. It's the ring your wife gave you to show her love for you, and I'm very sorry to say this, Patrick, but she is long past wanting or needing your loyalty."

"Shut up! Shut up!" he yelled. His face showed he was shocked by his outburst. He turned away from her abruptly and visibly tried to calm himself.

Patricia remained silent. Ryan had taught her a few things about painful moments like this.

When he turned back again he said, "You still haven't answered my question: why are you doing this? What do you gain?"

The question surprised her. She thought it was obvious, but then she realized why it wasn't obvious to him: he had forgotten what it was like to have a mother. The logic escaped him. It pained her to see it, and she knew words would never explain. "You should open the portal to get that answer," she said.

He was taken aback by her suggestion, as if he hadn't even considered that an option.

"You will learn that you can get fuller answers that way. Sometimes words cannot convey the deeper meaning of things, and, in this case, you would not believe them anyway."

He looked at her like she was a puzzle he would never figure out.

"Go on, Patrick. I have nothing to hide from you," she said.

She saw the change in his eyes. Where he had been searching for answers before, he found understanding, his anger and frustration shifting to sad acceptance.

"Everything is different now," she said gently. "You opened something up and you can't pretend otherwise. If you had killed him five days ago, she would have gotten over it. She would have understood it for what it was. Just like Timothy Carter. Her heart wouldn't be as involved."

He closed his eyes and lifted his hand to his face.

"You have a second chance at a very deep love. Do you know how rare that is?"

He dragged his hand over his eyes, wiping them dry. "Yes. I do."

"The only thing set in stone is history. Those women and children are not coming back—your wife and child—they all deserve justice, but your future is very much in your hands. I think your wife would want you to choose happiness over loyalty."

"This isn't just about me!" he started.

"No, it's not. But if you go into a showdown with this man with those dark intentions you will force even darker counter moves. He wants you to do that. He wants you to become like him. If you lose Teresa as a result of that, he will have succeeded in ruining you twice. You need to play this smarter and your motivations need to be pure. That is your sacrifice. It's the only way you will truly win."

"You don't know that."

"Yes. I do. I know it more than I've ever known anything in my life." She saw that he didn't believe her. She stepped forward. "You see my motivations," she said. "It's the same thing. When you can't see the details, you have to rely on intention. If I came at you with manipulation or force about this, you would act very differently."

"And instead you're asking me to give up what I've worked the last ten years for and just trust you."

She smiled sympathetically. He was only mildly bewildered and she felt his resolve loosening. "I'm suggesting you widen your view."

"What?"

"Don't just take down Kirkland, take down his entire network." She had his full attention. "That man will get what he deserves, Patrick, you can trust me on that. But there is no one better able to tear down what he built than you. I have been reading the files. His network is wide and deep and goes far beyond California. You can cut off the head, but what about the rest of it? These people have been turned into the worst versions of themselves. They are in positions of power and they will not go on living quietly when their leader is gone."

He was reading her, truly reading her, and she knew he saw what she saw. "That would be a pursuit worthy of your skills," she said. "And I would love to help." Her heart leapt when she saw his shoulders sag.

He let go a long, resigned breath. "We have to get Kirkland first," he said.

"Yes," Patricia said, suppressing the complete and utter joy bursting through her. "Yes, we do."