CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
I dug around in the back of my closet in my Mom's house; I knew there was something here from when I was a teenager. Jackpot! I grabbed the neck of the bottle and pulled it out, immediately unscrewing the cap. Baby Matthew made a noise and I looked at him; school starts soon so I have to get going, and since I hadn't found anyone to watch the baby when I'm at school I had to take him with me.
"Fine." I grumbled, screwing the lid back on without drinking any. I wouldn't put the baby in danger. "Let's go, Kid." I picked up his carrier and went downstairs. Mom had to force me into the shower this morning and actually laid my clothes for the day out on my bed when I was in there.
"Straight here after school, Joseph." Mom ordered as I left without even so much as a wave goodbye. I strapped the baby in the back and got into the drivers seat before finally giving in and looking over to Miley's house. Her Dad and Jackson had gotten back late yesterday afternoon and I'd been waiting for Mr. S. to come and kill me for breaking his little girls heart ever since, but he never came. The house didn't look any different, it looked exactly the same as any other day, but it wasn't the same. I'd done what I always promised I wouldn't do again and I'd broken Miley's heart.
"I see you have the baby again, Joe." Mr. Fisher noted when he stopped by my classroom just seconds after I'd gotten there myself.
"Yeah." I shrugged looking at the baby, he's a generally good baby; he never makes much of a fuss unless he wants to be held late at night. "He's my baby brother, he's in my custody now."
"And you think bringing him to work with you is a good idea?" I rolled my eyes and settled baby Matthew on the desk.
"I didn't really have another option, I'll figure something out as soon as I can." I wasn't really in the mood to do deal with people. Class was going to start in a few minutes and hat meant Miley was going to be sitting right in front of me. I suddenly felt myself regretting the seating arrangements.
"Why don't you stop by my offuce after school and we'll discuss some options." Mr. Fisher suggested and I nodded before he took the hint and finally left me alone. Once he was gone I reached into my bag and pulled out the bottle. I wasn't going to drink before I drove with a baby in the car, but I certainly couldn't face Miley without a little help. Three gulps later and a third of the bottle was gone, I had a numbing buzz and the bell for the start of school had rung.
"I hope most of you had a better weekend than me." I didn't even look at the class as I spoke because I knew if I did that I'd look at Miley. "If not I don't really care." I turned to the blackboard and reached for a piece of chalk, finding myself staring at two of them. I must have drunk more than I thought.
"Mister Lucas, are you okay?" A voice asked when I was trying to decipher which piece of chalk was real.
"No, but that's not gonna change any time soon, so let's not dwell on it." I finally just made a grab for the chalk and actually picked it up, surprising myself. "Now, just shut up and learn something." I grumbled. "Not that anyone is gonna use this shit, or any of you care." I dropped the chalk and shook my head, it felt fuzzy. Jeez that stuff works fast. "You know what, do whatever the fuck you want, I don't care." I sat back in my chair and the kids started to mutter amongst themselve about how I was acting.
"Hey, Miles, you live across the street from him, right? Do you know what happened?" I heard Lilly ask over the hum of voices. I chanced a peak up and found myself locked into Miley's teary gaze, pleading with me.
"His Dad died, he's probably just confused." Miley whispered in response, looking away. She still held hope that I'd change my mind.
Just before the end of class I stood up and made another wild grab for the chalk, once again surprising myself when I grabbed it. 822 I wrote the large numbers in the top right corner of the blackboard. 822 days until Miley graduates. The class started buzzing again, but I ignored it in favour of holding my head in my head with my elbows propping me up on the desk. I felt water stinging my eyes for the millionth time since I didn't let Kevin and his wife take Matthew like they should have. I rubbed my eyes roughly and turned my back to the class as the bell for the end of class rang. Finally! Now I wouldn't have to see Miley until tomorrow, and then after tomorrow I get all of Wednesday free until I have to see her again on Thursday. I made it sound like a chore to see her, but the problem is I never want to stop seeing her, but that's counter-productive to setting her free to get away from me and my always screwed up decisions.
"Go ahead, I'll catch up with you." I heard when the room was mostly empty and peaked up to see Miley shooing Lilly out with the rest of the kids. Then the door clicked shut and I was alone in a room with the girl I'm in love with. "Joe?"
"I don't like hurting you, Miley." I looked away from her pretty blue eyes.
"Then don't." I flinched, it wasn't that simple. "I told you a week and a half ago, a baby doesn't change the fact that I love you."
"And that doesn't change the fact that I'm doing this for you, Miley, because I can't be the reason you stayed and played house to my baby brother instead of following your dreams. You're sixteen, you should be worried about shoes and fashion and whatever it is that girls worry about, not me and my baby brother." I was trying to beg her not to make this harder on either of us.
"What if I want to worry about you? What if you are my dreams now?" Miley's bottom lip stuck out in a pout that I had the overwhelming urge to kiss away. "Isn't it my choice if I want to be with you?"
"Not for another eight hundred and twenty-two days." I looked away. "Just believe me when I say I wish I was seven years younger and good enough to deserve you."
WHAT I GO TO SCHOOL FOR
"Where were you?" Mom demanded when I walked into her house an hour late. Principle Fisher had 'suggested' - more like ordered - that I take a few weeks off to get myself sorted out and figure out what to do about Matthew when I'm working.
"School." I muttered, unbuckling the baby from that damned carrier seat and lifting him out. "Don't worry, Miley wasn't there." I rolled my eyes.
"Are you ready to talk now?" Mom crossed her arms.
"No." I held Matthew so he was sitting up on my knee and he stuck his hand in his mouth. I smiled at his cuteness, at least I had something good left. "But, just get it over with."
"How could you ever be so stupid, Joe?" Mom asked with a sigh.
"Because I'm an idiot who let my emotions win over my head." I replied monotonously. "It's over now, Mom, I'll just have to wait another eight hundred and twenty-two days and hope she doesn't completely hate my guts for breaking her heart... Again."
"Eight hundred and what?" Mom looked confused.
"Eight hundred and twenty-two days. June third, twenty-sixteen... The day she graduates; she'll be eighteen and she won't be my student anymore." I explained with a shrug, my free hand going to the chain the girl in question had only given me two days ago, but felt like so much longer.
"So, what are you going to do on June third in two years time?" Mom asked, sounding more curious than disaproving.
"Turn up on her doorstep with a two-and-a-half-year-old and a guitar and hope like Hell she doesn't beat me to death with it." I looked up at Mom who was frowning thoughtfully. "I know I should have waited until she graduated to do anything and I'm an idiot for risking over half my life in prison, but... She's worth it, Mom, I love her."
"I know, Baby Boy." Mom sighed, getting up. "I didn't call the police because you're my son, but I wanted to listen to you explain it because anyone could see that you love her." She kissed my forehead as she passed. "Why don't you and the baby head home? You look like you could use some rest." She advised softly. I looked to Matthew on my knee and he was looking all innocent; it's not his fault I was too stupid to sign the custody papers over to Kevin and Dani thereby choosing between him and Miley.
"It's okay, Kiddo." I forced myself to half smile. "Just me and you for a couple of years, I guess." I held him closer as I got up. "I don't blame you." I whispered after I kissed his chubby little cheek. I felt like I needed to tell him that, just to make sure.
I strapped the baby in again and went back to my car to go home. I looked up from my car and froze after buckling the carrier seat in. Miley was standing across the street at the Stewarts' mail box frozen as well. Miley took a step towards the road as if she was going to come over here, a car sped past - going way too fast for a residential area, I mght add - and she paused. I hoped she wouldn't come over; as much as I always wanted to see her, couldn't she see that this wasn't exactly easy for me either? I was just trying to do the right thing by her for once. Miley stepped back and dropped her head, slowly turning around and heading back to her house with her mail. I sighed and slumped into the drivers seat. The next 822 were going to be Hell to try and stay away from her. I mean, fuck, I couldn't even make it two months away from her at the start of the year. Now I know what it's like to be with her and I have to make myself stay away for over two years.
"You gotta distract me, Matty." I turned to look at him in the backseat, my fists clenching the steering wheel. "You gotta keep me from ruining her life too." Matthew blinked at me innocently, like he didn't have the future of an innocent girl on his shoulders. "Let's get you home before I go over there and get her Dad to kill me." I started my car and began the short drive home.
"Hello, Joe." When I got into the elevator of my building I was greeted by the older woman who lives under me, Mrs. Gunderson.
"Hi, Mrs. Gunderson." I made myself smile politely and hoped it didn't look too much like a grimace.
"How was work today?" Mrs. G. persisted, ever the friendly old neighbour.
"Not too good, Mrs. Gunderson." I denied, trying not to dwell on it. "How was your day?"
"Well, these old bones can't complain." She smiled sympathetically at me and looked down to the baby. "I'm just a floor away if you ever need a babysitter, Joe." The elevator dinged at her floor.
"Thanks, Mrs. Gunderson." I nodded politely as she left before the doors closed to send me and baby brother up to my floor. "I guess it's just you, me and Professor Judgy Pants for the next three weeks, Bro." I sighed when I got inside. I hadn't been here since I left to drop Miley off at her house yesterday; the whole place suddenly felt cold and unwelcoming, I wish it was yesterday morning again so I could just wake up with the woman I love in my arms... That's not going to be happening for a while... Or possible ever again if she grows to hate me.
1) I hate the internet right now
2) You haven't seen the last of Stella O.o
3) What's been everyone's favourite part of the story so far?
4) Is 48+ chapters too many?
