"Bella I missed you" Rose said hugging me tight against her body.

"Rose I've only been in here for 3 days" I laughed.

"Not just here, home has been so lonely without you I still have EM but it's not the same without my best friend" she teared up, as we broke our embrace to sit down at one of the tables in the visitors hall.

Guilt started to creep up on me for what I have done and who I have worried, but the consoler said I need to work on accepting my mistakes and not dwelling on my past mistakes so I try hard to fight how bad I feel for what I've done to Rose.

"So Em's still here? I thought he'd be going back to forks to tie up some loose ends" I said.

"Well I never really got a chance to tell you before everything happened" she smiled sadly.

"The week before…this..um… incident, we went garage hunting and Em and I found the perfect one, and he bought it, I helped him with the property taxes and the financial plan for how much he needs to get it up and running we have been busy meeting with web site designers and accountants, thanks to my father I know a few of the right people so we have been ripping and running trying to get everything together so when Em completes his training he can open up right away." She told me.

"That is great!" I smiled a genuine smile, I couldn't be happier to hear everything is going well for Emmett.

"Isn't it" she said I could see the love and pride beaming from her eyes, it warmed my heart.

"What about you, how's school?" I asked her, moving to grab a coffee from the machine right next to us.

"Ehh.. boring without you, Keith's death his still circling the school and it's just like a dark cloud is looming over that place. "She muttered.

"I bet" I said sipping my coffee and regaining my seat.

"Everyone is whispering about where are you, we have been able to keep it under wraps but if they dig far enough they might figure out what happened" she said sadly.

"Not quite" Edwards's voice echoed as he came into our view.

"And how are we in fact going to stop it?" Rose asked him as he took a seat next to her, sharing a brief hug.

"With the help of Charlie, we sealed ALL your records, your medical records since you were born, your school records even your birth certificate" he said giving me a knowing look.

He knows

My heart rate sped up and my palms began to sweat, calm down Bella… it's okay… calm down.

"Thank you" I managed to squeak out.

"Alright Lovely I have to go meet up with Emmett it's his first day in business school I have to see how it went, Edward take care of my girl" Rose pointed to him as she got up to leave.

"Always" he said giving her a kiss on the cheek and she disappeared, I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Since when are you and Rose so close" I mumbled, not understanding why that made me feel some type of way.

"Well… since you have been here we've been there for each other to balance each other out when we started to go a little bit off the Rails, Emmett had a lot of things to take care of if he was going to make the big move here so that left me and her before Charlie came so after school we would come visit almost every day together unless I had to go somewhere then she would take over after I had to go or vise verse and I guess we bonded, she's like my sister now. "

And just like that the twinge of whatever I was feeling left, and I smiled, I'm glad they are close now I hate what brought them closer together was my stupidity but I'm glad. They were close before when he practically lived with us for a few months but they both were more close to me than each other now I feel like we are all on the same wavelength.

"Good" I smiled.

"Bella," he said with apprehension in his voice.

"What happened the night Keith died" he asked me, I took a sharp breath in. I wasn't ready for this, I couldn't do this I haven't told anyone I can't do this. I clamped my hands together tightly to keep them from shaking.

"What do you mean?" I asked in a low voice, he gave me a knowing glance and grabbed my shaky hands to still them.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable but I want you to know you can talk to me about this" he started at me intensely with his bright green eyes.

"I know" I sighed, feeling better just by his hands caressing mine.

"I know what it's like when you feel like you can't talk about something, ever" He swallowed thickly.

"But because of you, I now know that it may hurt at first but in the long run it helps you and heals you in ways you can't imagine and thanks to you I know that" he said staring me in the eyes with a look of pure gratification.

"What did I do?" I asked puzzled, what was he talking about he never talked to me about anything, well this was confusing.

"Well.." he sighed.

"Okay, I guess if I expect something more from you I have to give more, I never told you just how much you helped me and I think it's about time you know, I'm at a place now where I can tell you."

I listened to Edward as he relived the horrible days of his adolescence and what that evil bitch did to Edward and Alice I was so riled up I wanted to break out of here and go find her myself but for Edwards sake I remained calm.

"Yeah and then Esme in her awesome days stabbed her in the stomach so she had a miscarriage thank god, I can't imagine being a father to her demon spawn, so after that I shut down I wouldn't speak to anyone not even the therapist I was ordered to see, but after what happened at the party when I woke up and I could remember you but not remember you, images of what that woman did to me came flooding back I felt like it was happing all over again so I lashed out and hurt you in the worst way. But after I hurt you it really made me look at myself and realized I was on a path to self-destruction and those issues I pushed away they were still there I had just been ignoring them but you, you forced me to confront them and work through them because I never wanted to hurt anyone else the way I hurt you, or thought I did at the time" he chuckled.

"So I went back to my therapist and she has helped me tremendously, talking to her about it and everything has really helped me, everything you did, helped me. Let's be honest I was a jackass before you came into my life and now I feel like a better person" he smiled up at me.

"You were always a good person Edward just a good person who was put through something horrible at a young age, I had no idea I'm so sorry" my eyes teared up, how could someone do that to children for Christ sake.

"It wasn't fair and now I understand everything you did," I nodded at him.

"Thank you" he said staring at me intently.

"Keith was my half-brother" I mumbled lowly.

"What did you say Bella?" Edward asked leaning forward confused.

I took a big sigh and said it just a little louder.

"Keith was my half-brother" I winced as I said the words aloud for the first time.

"I know" he nodded.

"Keith took me to meet his parents and to my surprised I was meeting Renee again for the first time in 10 years.

"Ouch" he replied.

"Keith dashed out of the house and…" I choked a little as tears began to form in my eyes.

"He rushed out and got on his motorcycle and…he was gone" I sob escaped my throat as Edward rushed to my side. He kneed on the floor to be eye level with me and hugged me around my waist.

I put my head into his shoulder and sobbed.

"I don't even know what I'm crying for Edward" I choked out.

"My brother, my boyfriend, or the fact that my brother was my boyfriend, or the fact that I truly loved him" I wailed, everything in my heart spilling out like the tears from my eyes.

"It's okay," he said rubbing his strong hands through my hair and it relaxed me, he kissed the side of my face softly and reassured me it was okay to feel conflicted.

"Edward.." I said to him.

"Don't worry I won't tell anybody" he promised.

"Thank you" I whispered.

I pulled away from our embrace and stared Edward in the eyes.

He brought his hands up to my face and with his thumbs he slowly pushed the tears away from my eyes.

"No more tears for such a pretty girl" he smiled.

I blushed.

"There's our Bella" he laughed.

And even though you have been through something most people can't imagine, you're still here Bella and you're still you" he told me before rising to his feet.

I have to get going but I will be back tomorrow okay?" he told me, I nodded.

And with a kiss to the forehead and a wave he was gone.

I walked back to the common area and curled up by the widow ceil I grabbed my book that Rose had brought me earlier and began to read, less focusing on what's on the pages and more on what just fell off Edwards lips.

Two weeks came and went and I was packing up my stuff and my room making sure I didn't forget anything. Edward visited me Every day, Rose and Em almost every day. Me and Edward have connected on a new level now things feel different than they ever have before, that's why it hurt me to tell him I wasn't going back to the apartment I share with Rose I'm heading back to Forks with Charlie for a while, I will return after the winter session. I just couldn't jump right back into life as if nothing happened something did happen, I am not the same person I was, I can't just resume life as it was pretending to be unscathed. I need time away, I know I have had time away but I need more to clear my head and decide if I even want to be on the same path as before. Do I even want to return to UCLA I have no clue.

The departure wasn't too sad, it was winter break and thanksgiving was next week, and Edward had made it apparent he was coming over for it, Rose said she had to wrap some things up with Em up here and would be late but would be there.

I told them both I would see them soon and Charlie and I left for the airport.

The flight wasn't too long and I slept for most of it, before long we were landing in Seattle and climbing in my dad's cruiser heading towards home.

"So how's things been in forks since I left, any surprises I'm coming home too?" I asked.

"Not's really, same old really, Billy and I caught a 23 pound fish the other day, the fish fry last month was great." He told me.

"Typical" I laughed.

"Esme is getting an abortion" he said flatly and everything stopped.

"What!" I said a little bit louder then I intended.

"Yup, it's her decision and there's nothing I can do to change her mind she wants her husband back" he muttered.

"Dad, I'm sorry" I frowned, I generally felt bad for my dad I knew he always wanted more kids he could just never find the right woman.

"It's the consequences of what I've done and I can accept that now" he told me as we pulled into forks.

No being able to think of much to say after that we rode in silence until we reached the house.

We pulled into the drive way and a wave of familiarity hit me, I'm home. I spent so much time running away from here and away from my dad I never knew how much I missed it until I needed it the most.

"I'll get your bags Bells you go right in and get settled back in okay?" he told me grabbing my bags out the back seat.

I walked into the house and nothing had really changed, but for that I was grateful right now I needed a familiar a controlled environment, the psychologist told me when I feel overwhelmed or out of control or forced into something that is my trigger so coming home would be a better option than jumping into unfamiliar routines.

You can always count on Forks to never change.

I went to my room grabbed some of my old clothes out of my dresser and went to the bathroom, I took a long hot shower to relax me and freshen me up after a dreary flight.

When I went back to my room all my bags where there, I found my lotion and began to moisturize my body.

I dried my hair with the towel and decided to let it air dry it felt good, my hair was so dull and has lost a lot of it shine my brown roots are peaking out of the top, I vowed I would go see Jason tomorrow my hair was long overdue.

I slipped on my slipper booties and made my way down to the living room where Charlie sat.

I curled up next to him on the couch while he flipped through the channels.

"I ordered Chinese I hope that was that okay?" he asked.

"Yeah that is fine I could of cooked something though" it told him.

"As if I would let you cook on your first day back you are supposed to be relaxing" he scoffed.

"I'm not an invalid" I muttered.

"Plus I'm ashamed to say I haven't really bought much to cook since you left I mainly eat at the dinner" he admitted.

"Well I have to go into town tomorrow anyway I need to see Jason I will just pick up some groceries, what time you get home tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Five o'clock tomorrow and Thursday " he told me.

"Okay" I nodded.

It felt good to be home I' might just stay for a while.

CPOV

I looked down at my daughter who had fell asleep during the football game I turned on, she was my proudest accomplishment. Out of all my mistakes she will never be one and I'm glad to have her back. I know I messed up and by some miracle she lets me back into her life, she gave me quite a scare I didn't know she had become that unhappy to hurt herself and it makes me feel like I've failed as a parent but I'm going to make it up to her, I'm going to do better and be the father she deserves she needs me right now so I'm here with her and that's where I plan to stay.

I picked Bella up just like I use too when she was four and would fall asleep on one of my games she felt sports were boring which always stunned me, how could a daughter of mine find sports boring, I laugh at the concept, and I took her to her bedroom.

I thought soon I'd be doing this for a new edition to the Swan family but I was wrong, as I think back to the events that transpired in the last six weeks they still haunt me as her words echo in my mind.

Six Weeks Ago

I walked into the quite diner it was just a little after midnight that was the only time she agreed to meet and finally talk to me about everything that has transpired.

I immediately spotted her out of place in the small run down diner, she looked poised and out of place in her fancy dress scarf loosely draped around her neck her auburn hair tucked in a neat bun that hung just below her left ear.

I walked over to the booth and slid directly across from her in silence, I stared at her into her green eyes that captured my heart and I could see traces of red on the rims of her eyes. She had been crying.

"Thank you for meeting me so late Charles" She spoke.

"Why so formal?" I sighed.

"Look let's just do this my way it will just be easier that way" she spoke.

"Fine, what do you want to talk about" I relented.

"I'm pregnant" she spoke.

The air got sucked out of my lungs; I couldn't breathe my heart felt like it stilled. I looked at the women I love from across the both and all I could do was jump to my feet and grab her.

"That's great!" I couldn't stop the excitement and happiness coming from me, my heart swelled this was something I've wanted for such a long time

"Charlie please stop" Esme cried.

"What's wrong?" I asked confused as to why this isn't good news Esme loves children.

"This isn't good, I committed adultery and now I'm knocked up this situation isn't joyous" she shook her head wiping her eyes with her fingertips.

"Our baby is nothing but joyous Esme, maybe it was made the wrong way but it was made out of love we can do this I will marry you we can raise him or her together" I found myself pleading.

"Charlie it's not that simple I'm already married I have a family I can't just turn my back on them and run away with you Charlie I'm not Renee" she shouted.

That stung deep, I know this situation is similar but I know she's not Renee, Renee just up and left her family no explanation and she didn't see them for 10 years until she left Bella and I high and dry the same way and went crawling back to Simon. I know Esme would never abandon her children like Renee did how could she say that to me?

"I know you're not Renee how could you even say that?" I asked her.

"I know, I'm sorry I'm just stressed out I don't even know what I'm saying anymore I don't know what to do" she cried.

"It will be okay, we will figure it out I promise" I said hugging her again.

"No we won't my husband left me my two children aren't speaking to me how are we going to figure out a baby in all of this?" she sobbed.

"We will, just give me some time baby just give me some time" I said holding her close to me kissing her forehead, all I needed was a little time.

Three weeks ago

I sat quietly by Bella's beside and stroked my daughters hair, she was awake staring at the wall before her barely blinking, the sight alone was enough to break me apart.

This was my fault, I wasn't attentive I let what was going on with my child slip past me.

Rose filled me in on the story at the funeral, all of this was sick and twisted I can't believe Renee thinks we orchestrated all of this she is truly sick in the head.

As soon as Rose told me I called in a few favors with a little help of Edward for her school records and got everything sealed off no one will know what Bella was to Keith that's the very least I can do for my daughter.

"You can come back to me Kiddo your dad took care of everything, you don't have to be afraid to come back to us now" I spoke to her smoothing her hair back and kissing her forehead.

"Just come back Bella okay" I said clearing my throat before I got choked up again.

"Charlie…" someone said, I looked over and Esme was standing in the doorway with lilies.

"Esme…wah…what are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"I had some things to deal with in town, I ran into Edward and he mentioned…that he had to go see Bella in the hospital I came to drop these off and see how she's doing and…how you are" she spoke.

"Bella's okay no change yet, as for me I'm hanging in there" I sighed.

"Glad to hear it" she smiled sadly.

"Look I don't have a lot of time and I hate to do this now but I owe you enough to tell you this face to face." Esme's voice broke.

"Can you come into the hall for a minuet?" she said walking out letting me follow her lead.

I kissed Bella on the forehead and calmly walked out of the room behind Esme.

"What's going on Esme?" I asked worried.

"Charlie…I don't really know how to begin to tell you this" she cleared her throat I could tell she was trying to fight against tears as she lifted her head to the ceiling and sighed wiping the corners of her eyes.

"Just tell me Esme you can tell me anything you know that" I reminded her.

"Not this" she said.

"Yes you can" I urged her on she was really scaring me

"I love you Charlie, I love you in a unique way you are a love I will remember for the rest of my life but I can't have this baby" she spoke.

"Yes you can, you're just a little scared right now but it will all work itself out I've been coming up with a plan" I told her, I have ever since our talk at the diner a few weeks back.

"You're not getting it Charlie" she said, tears begging to drip from her eyes.

"I will not have this baby" she whispered.

"wah.. what I…I don't understand" I stuttered what is she saying?

"Charlie… I already have a family in which I love very much, I love you but I choose them. I want my children, my family, I want my husband all back I want my life back and I can't do that with this reminder for the next 18 years" she spoke.

"Esme do you even hear yourself that doesn't even sound like you, you would never label your child as nothing but a reminder. Those aren't your words are they? They came from him! Didn't they?!" I was now shouting by this point.

"No… he gave me a choice I can have a baby with you or work on our marriage and family with him it was my choice I choose him" she stated.

"So he did not tell you to have an abortion to abort my…our child?" I challenged her to deny it. Those words had her pretentious Carlisle all over it.

"This conversation is over" she stated.

"Thought so" I spat venomously.

"Goodbye Esme I have to go tend to the only child I have see yourself to the exit and don't come back" I said turning around to go back and sit with my daughter and process the end to a member of the swan family.

AN: So yes just a little clear up there a lot of you were confused as in if Renee left Simon for Charlie then went back yes she did I addressed it in there air plane ride that she went back to her first husband but There's a little more insight to what an awful bitch Renee is. Alright give me your thoughts, what are we thinking of Esme? Carlisle? secrets got swapped between our Bellward, what about a Roseward friendship? Let me know your thoughts!