Chapter 52

The next two days were full of activity. Daylight hours were spent doing chores around the K& L, going on picnics, horseback riding, playing games with the children, or going swimming. Evenings were spent on the porch reminiscing about days gone by, family members who were no longer with them, swapping stories, and planning new activities.

Kid kept a watchful eye on Lou. He was relieved to see his wife joining in on the activities whole-heartedly. Her early melancholy seemed to have dissipated since the arrival of their Pony Express family member. Still, there were moments that her actions puzzled him. She appeared apprehensive whenever she was left alone with Buck or Jimmy, and intimacy between them consisted only of chaste kisses, hugs or holding hands.

Lou's reactions to his open affections reminded him of the early days of their relationship when they had to be careful no one saw them or else her secret would be revealed. Even though he didn't understand them, Kid did not want to push Lou into explaining why she was acting so peculiar. He was hesitant to do anything to upset her and spoil her overall good mood.

Lou did not know how much longer she could take being surrounded by so many people. She felt caged in, trapped, and knew if she did not get some time alone soon, she was going to snap.

The next day rose, and Lou finally reached her boiling point. Little Cody was being uncooperative in letting her dress him for the day, Emma Charlotte and Mary Rachel fought over who got to wear the blue ribbons in their hair, and Jed argued with her over what pants he was going to wear.

Breakfast seemed to stoke the fire simmering within her as all the chattering seemed to grate on her nerves, so that as soon as the men disappeared outside, and the women got ready to go flower picking and berry gathering, she exploded,

"I've got to get out of here…I'm going for a ride, alone."

She stormed out of the house before her stunned houseguests could respond. She rushed to the barn and saddled Lightning. She rode the black steed out of the yard at a gallop.

Lou let Lightning dictate the direction they were in. She enjoyed the freedom of flying across the prairie with the wind ruffling through her hair. All she wanted was to be free again. Of his own accord, Lightning began to slow to a walk. Lou recognized the swimming hole and smiled. She knew the gelding enjoyed the tall strands of grass that covered the banks around the swimming hole.

She reined in her mound and slid out of the saddle. She left him to graze and walked down the embankment to the water's edge. She cupped her hands and drank thirstily of the cool water. Lou settled on the grassy ground, drew her knees up to her chest, and rested her chin on them.

She felt like she was suffocating and couldn't draw in enough air in her lungs. She had never done well in a crowd and the K&L was over running with people. Fooling Kid and the children was hard enough; having to carry on the charade that everything was okay to so many adults was becoming increasingly difficult. Sooner or later someone was going to catch on that all was not well, and there would be hell to pay.