The Big Day: Confusion

When I was a little girl and imagined having a big wedding, I don't think I ever realized how... chaotic it would be. It looks like mayhem to me with people going to and fro, carrying chairs, bouquets, food, escorting guests, doing security checks. Our security staffers speak into their walkie talkies in clipped tones, keeping an eye out while trying not to look too overawed by some of the better known guests. Amidst the confusion, L'Arachel is perpetually on the move. If I didn't know better I'd swear there were two or three of her.

Seth is another matter. I think he may be hiding.

It's not long before I have to start getting ready. I have a hair stylist and a makeup artist coming in and then there's the matter of getting the dress on. I wish I could see Seth, though. He was so nervous this morning. I don't think he slept well either. He was up even earlier than normal and went out for a long jog. I know he'd have preferred a small wedding, a reception with only our friends and family. I wish I could have given him that.

ooo

"You look perfect!" Tana says as we stand together before a full length mirror.

"Are you sure it's me? I can hardly believe it..." The gown is a beautiful, shimmering white and crinkles when I move. I have goosebumps as I stare at myself in the mirror.

Tana's hands are warm on my bare skin as she squeezes my shoulders. We stare at ourselves in the mirror the way we did as little girls playing dress-up. But today the dress-up is real and I have to blink rapidly to keep from tearing up and making a mess of my mascara.

A knock on the door.

"Come in."

Ephraim smiles as he walks into the room and sees us both. He looks very dashing in his tux and it's hard to miss the way Tana's face lights up at the sight of him. "Do you two need more time alone with the mirror?" he asks with a lopsided smile. Tana swats him and I just roll my eyes. He grins and then, more earnestly. "You look lovely. Both of you," he adds, glancing at Tana. She looks flushed.

"Do you need a few minutes?" Tana asks.

Ephraim nods. "Thanks." She squeezes his hand and he smiles at her and watches her leave.

I raise an eyebrow. "Flirting with the bridesmaid?"

"I'm flirting with my girlfriend," he says with a sniff.

"Well I'm glad you finally stopped waffling."

He groans. "I know, I know. But this past year's been so..."

"I know," I whisper. "I... I just wish dad could be here today."

"Me too." I had always imagined my father giving me away, pictured him walking next to me, tall and beaming with pride, giving a nod to the groom as we reached him, and then kissing me on the cheek before handing me off. I miss him every day, but right now I feel his absence more keenly than ever.

Ephraim takes me by the shoulders. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

He moves as if to embrace me and then stops. "Can I hug you or will I mess up your hair or something?"

"Don't be silly," I say and wrap my arms around him.

"If I have to give you away, I'm glad it's to Seth." My stomach flutters at the name. "Because you know," Ephraim continues, pulling back to grin at me, "if it had been Innes I don't think I'd have been able to stomach it."

"You realize the two of you could end up as in-laws."

He grimaces. "Don't remind me."

There's another knock on the door. "Come in." I'm expecting Tana or maybe L'Arachel, and I'm surprised when, instead, it's Seth.

"May I come in?" he asks, shifting from foot to foot.

"Is everything all right?"

"I–" He glances over his shoulder and then back at us. "Is it possible that I just saw George Clooney?"

"Umm.... Maybe."

Seth groans.

"You know..." Ephraim begins with a smirk. "They say it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"Don't tease, Ephraim."

"All right," he says with a laugh, slapping Seth on the shoulder, "but remember it's too late to elope." He winks at me and then leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Seth looks pale and I come closer and squeeze his arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. It's... a bit overwhelming."

"Remember, trophy husbands don't have to talk. You just need to nod and look handsome."

He smiles then and takes my hand in his. And we fall silent, just looking at on another, taking it all in. He's so handsome in his tux, more than usual even, and it dawns on me– on us both I think... We're getting married!

"You're gorgeous," he says, and it's only as he reaches out to brush his fingers over my cheek that I notice his sleeves. Cufflinks with a cut sapphire, ringed with yellow and white gold.

I snag his hand and peer at his sleeve. "You still have them," I whisper.

"Of course I do. They were from you." And again he strokes my cheek and the look on his face... That something could be precious to him because it was from me... My heart swells and I squeeze my eyes shut. I cannot afford to tear up. Not now.

"Are you two ready?" Tana calls from outside. "L'Arachel wants to get Kyle and Seth into position."

"In a second," I reply. Seth is shifting from foot to foot again, casting anxious glances at the door. I take his hand in both of mine. "It'll be all right. I promise I won't keep you waiting up there for long."

He takes a deep breath and nods. It's as if he's donning armour: he straightens his shoulders and his face becomes a mask of calm resolve. He spins to face the door– but then turns back to me and pulls me into his arms. "I love you."

I can hardly breath for how much I love him. I only just manage to whisper, "I love you too."

ooo

The room falls silent as I walk down the aisle on Ephraim's arm. The rows of guests, the photographer, the filmographer, everything falls away except for Seth, standing there at the far end of the aisle. He's all I can see, and in spite my resolve, his outline grows blurry, leaving me to dab at my eyes.

When we reach the far end of the room, Ephraim kisses me on the cheek and then, with a nod, hands me off to Seth. My heart races as he takes my hands in his and we stand facing each other.

The ceremony is a blur as I stare into Seth's face. Though his hands, gripping mine, are slick, he's smiling. Not the small, quiet smile most people are used to, but the glorious, wide smile he saves for when he's at home. My chest clenches. I can't believe it. Any moment I'll wake and this will all have been a dream, an achingly beautiful, perfect dream.

Someone sneezes.

Startled, I glance over my shoulder. Forde. Of course.

And then I smile. People don't sneeze in my dreams. My fantasies are perfect. In them Seth's palms are never slick, and he never misses a beat. In my fantasies he doesn't start as the minister signals us to speak our vows.

Seth nearly keeled over when L'Arachel suggested we write our own vows. He was afraid that anything he came up with would sound like a Hallmark card. We settled on something simple and traditional. He licks his lips and clears his throat before beginning. My heart starts to pound.

"I, Seth Knightly..." He pauses to draw breath. His expression is so earnest that I want to throw my arms around him. Instead, I just squeeze his hands. "Take you, Eirika King, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part." His voice is little more than a husky whisper as he finishes. "And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

My hands, clasped in his, are trembling as I look into his eyes and speak. "I, Eirika King, take you, Seth Knightly, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer..." And here I can't quite keep my lips from quiriking. I take a breath– I feel giddy, lightheaded almost– and go on. "In sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

He's grinning. My darling, ever-so-serious head of security, is grinning like a schoolboy. But then so am I.

The minister asks for the rings and Kyle steps forward. He reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and removes a pair of plain, gold bands. Platinum seems to be popular right now and rose gold as well, but we were both adamant about old-fashioned yellow gold rings. Our names are engraved on the inside of them, but they're otherwise quite traditional.

I take the ring from Kyle and reach out for Seth's left hand. My heart flutters as I slide the wedding band onto his finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."

Seth's hand squeezes mine before he turns to Kyle and takes my ring from him. My breath catches in my throat as, for just an instant, he fumbles and it almost slips out of his grasp. That, too, would never happen in my dreams. Reality is far more memorable. I know it won't always be easy. It may be the day to day trials and tribulations that grind people down, but even so I believe we'll see it through. Even when things aren't perfect, I want to remember what matters to me. Because I know how easily it can all disappear– in an instant.

The tang of blood, stale smoke in a cheap hotel– that moment haunts me. I lost my father. I could have lost Seth. But it also reminds me to be grateful for the gift I've been given, this life together that we're beginning. I want this more than anything.

Seth takes a breath to steady himself and then turns to me, the ring safely clasped in his hand now. I hold out my left hand. He takes it in his. I can hardly breathe as he slips the gold band onto my finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."

I can barely hear over the pounding of my heartbeat.

"–vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

As the room thunders with applause, we wrap our arms around each other and his kiss... his kiss is better than perfect.


A/N: Just to clear things up, this is not the last chapter. I'm sorry for the confusion. There are sixty chapters and this is only number fifty-one so nine more to go. :)