Thank you so much for the reviews, especially my regulars! I might not give shout-outs here, but I definitely recognize your names when I see them. I swear, I'm the one getting treated by writing this story. I absolutely love hearing your personal stories, and your commentary has me chuckling alone in my room like a lunatic. Here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy! Also, I missed you guys too (:
Lesson #50: Skip this Lesson
I held onto his green gaze as he praised me, tenderly brushing his fingers over my body as if I might break at any moment. The pads of his fingers left a tingling path in their wake, causing me to become increasingly aroused. I could never tire of the privilege of sleeping with Edward. It didn't matter how we had sex, I always I felt adored.
"Hurry up," I pushed his hand under my night gown impatiently.
Note: Your sex life decreases exponentially with the number of children you have. Well… if they're all seven at the same time.
"I'm trying to make this romantic," Edward grunted, "Now stop trapping my hand between your legs, woman!"
"You can do romantic when the kids aren't watching a movie," I urged him, "This is 'wham bam thank you ma'am' time. I swear, the one time you want a man to be quick in bed …"
"The movie has another hour on it, Bella, come on," he nuzzled my neck persuasively.
"I am trying to come on, but you're taking forever," I pulled at his leg hairs with my toes, eliciting a squeal. "Think of it this way. If you don't click my mouse, there will be no jerkin of your Gerkin –do I make myself clear?"
Edward narrowed his eyes, "You drive a hard argument."
"Yah, well you're not driving anything hard-,"
"Mom? Dad?" Roy called from outside the door.
I could feel my face burn as I straightened my nightgown and grabbed my emergency book.
Note: It's a good thing that you guys were still blissfully unobservant of your surroundings. Otherwise, you would have realized that I'd been 'reading' the same book for the past two years.
"Come in, son," Edward sighed.
The door creaked open as Roy appeared, gangly limbs and all. I loved him with all my heart, but the truth was that my boy was probably the most awkward seven year old on the planet. He was all limbs. Sometimes I think he didn't even know what to do with them. The unsureness and lack of coordination of his movements were testament to this. That's not to say he wasn't cute, but even I had to admit it; Roy was a pretty fucking awkward seven year old.
"Can you pop us some more popcorn?" he asked, "Eric and Ely were trying to pretend that they were astronauts, but then they wouldn't let Gar get in the spaceship, even though I told them that spaceships are really big-"
Tip: Learn to selectively listen to your children. Otherwise, you'll end up listening to a five minute story about spaceships when the only important detail is that the popcorn was spilt.
"I'm coming," Edward interrupted him with a chuckle.
"Score!" Roy threw an awkward fist-pump in the air before a frown appeared on his face, "Hey, why is mom crying? Mommy aren't you coming too?"
"No, Roy," Edward avoided my glare of daggers as he said, "I don't think Mommy will be coming for a while."
Tip: You shouldn't be reading this tip.
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Think it's a kind of universal rite of passage for kids to walk in on their parents doing it? Tell me about it, I'd love to hear!
~CH
