Thanks as always to my wonderful beta riftintime.
Chapter 53
Ianto went back to monitoring the Rift at night. He would have rather been at his flat, but his sense of duty was so strong that he was willing to put aside his personal feelings. It had been five nights since he'd been home. He had dreamt of Jack every night. He sat on Jack's bed, looking around Jack's room. He was tempted to look through Jack's things, but he had too much respect for Jack's privacy. He was even more tempted to sleep in one of Jack's shirts so he could be surrounded by his scent, but he wouldn't let himself. He was staying there because he had a job to do, and he'd be damned if he would give in to his despair. He was tired. They had been working hard. And he really missed Jack. He sighed and lay back on the pillows. Damn you, Jack Harkness. He closed his eyes. His mind started to drift.
Ianto awoke to Jack holding him in his arms. "Jack?"
"You're dreaming, Ianto." Jack's voice was melodic and smooth.
"I'm dreaming," Ianto murmured, feeling befuddled.
"Yes, you're dreaming. I'm going to take some blood from you. You need to trust me."
"Yes, I trust you," Ianto murmured.
Ianto watched with the vague sense of having been there before as Jack drew blood from his arm. When Jack was finished, he kissed him softly. Then he kissed him passionately. Ianto responded and then felt startled as though awoken from a dream. He was kissing Jack? Jack had returned? Ianto broke off the kiss and looked at Jack. Jack looked different, older, broken. "Jack? What's happened to you?"
"So much, Ianto. So much."
Ianto stretched out his hand and touched Jack's face. There were several more lines around his eyes. "Jack? Where have you been?"
"Ianto, can you give me this night and not ask me any questions? If you can do that, I can stay."
Ianto was on the verge of saying something about the way things were left between them, but then he looked at Jack's face. There was so much pain in his eyes – like he had seen horrors that he couldn't bear to remember. For some unknown reason, he trusted Jack completely. Ianto couldn't refuse him. "Yes," he agreed quietly.
Jack took off his greatcoat and kicked his boots off. He then quickly took off his clothes. He lay down naked beside Ianto and gathered him into his arms. Then Jack kissed him like he had never kissed him before. There was so much emotion in his kiss that Ianto was astonished. He broke off the kiss with a question forming on his lips, but he had promised Jack no questions, so he bit his tongue to keep his silence. Jack stroked Ianto's cheek tenderly. "I'm so sorry, Ianto. I'm so sorry I didn't say it back. But you knew, didn't you? You knew."
Tears were sliding down Jack's face. Ianto wanted to ask, 'Say what back? I knew what?' But he kept his promise and remained silent. He wiped the tears from Jack's face and then kissed Jack, more to keep himself from asking questions than anything else. When Jack kissed him back fervently, his questions faded into the background. Jack slowly began to remove the T-shirt and briefs Ianto was sleeping in. He kissed and caressed every inch of the skin he exposed as he removed the garments. Ianto shuddered. This wasn't like Jack. Jack had always been about lust and desire. But Jack was touching him with great tenderness, almost worshipping him, as though he wanted to savor every part of him. He was touching him like he… like he…I'm dreaming, Ianto thought to himself, cutting off his last thought. This is a dream.
Jack turned them over so he lay on his back with Ianto on top of him. Ianto moved slowly against Jack. Jack caressed his back, kissing him ardently. He felt Jack reach out and heard the bedside table drawer open. Then he felt Jack press a bottle of lube into his hands. Ianto took the bottle from Jack silently and poured some lube on his fingers. He kissed Jack's neck as he pressed a finger inside of him. Jack sighed and pulled Ianto close to his chest. Jack stroked his hair and softly kissed every inch of his face as he gently opened Jack. When Ianto felt Jack was ready, he removed his fingers. He spread lube over himself and looked down at Jack. Jack stroked his cheek with his thumb. Ianto repositioned himself, and Jack wrapped his legs around Ianto's waist. Jack ran his fingers over Ianto's lips. Then he took Ianto's face in his hands and looked deeply into his eyes as Ianto entered him.
Jack pulled Ianto down into another passionate kiss as Ianto slowly began to move inside Jack. Jack kept Ianto's body pulled down close to his, wrapping his arms around Ianto as they found their rhythm. Jack kissed him tenderly as they moved together. Tears were falling from Jack's eyes. As they both neared climax, their breathing grew louder, but there wasn't the usual thrashing and moaning of their previous encounters. The friction of their bodies was enough to bring Jack to climax and he whispered Ianto's name as he came. Hearing Jack saying his name took Ianto over the edge. He came inside Jack and then rested on top of Jack's chest. Jack held him close, stroking his hair, his back, his shoulders, kissing every part of Ianto he could reach. Then he rolled them so they were both laid on their sides, looking into each other's eyes.
"That was… different," said Ianto after a few minutes had passed.
"I was a fool, Ianto. I was such a fool, but I can't let you remember this."
"What do you mean?" In his surprise, Ianto had forgotten his promise not to ask questions.
"You won't remember this night." Jack's voice changed to a soothing tone, and Ianto felt his mind slip sideways.
"You dreamt that we had sex. That's all you'll remember." Jack's voice was hypnotic.
"That's all I'll remember," Ianto repeated.
"My Ianto," Jack whispered. "Sine qua non."
Jack kissed him softly. Ianto felt like he was far away.
"Sleep now, Ianto. You're just dreaming."
Ianto woke with a start. He was sweaty and naked in Jack's bed. This is getting out of hand, he thought as he extricated himself from the tangled sheets. Erotic dreams of Jack as usual. Wish his scent would fade from this room. I've really got to get him out of my system. Maybe I should go out on the pull like Owen does and just get laid. He grimaced at the thought. It was comforting to think that he could, and it made him feel superior and slightly triumphant with vengeance, but deep down he knew that he wouldn't do it. He wasn't ready for that yet. Besides, Torchwood was busy – really busy. Ianto needed to get back to work.
A week later, Prime Minister Harold Saxon ordered the Torchwood team on a mission to the Himalayas.
