A/N: Oh, y'know, just dropping by to let you know I'm still alive. :P
It's almost NR's third birthday! Holy crap! Anyway, this isn't one of my longest chapters, but it's been like three months and I really wanted to get something out. So here you go. Aaaaand I have to go to bed right now, so I'm going to shut up. Hnnnngh.
Enjoy!
"Heh..."
"What is it?" Lloyd glanced over his shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of my expression.
I shook my head. "It's just...well, for once I actually feel up to this."
"Maybe it was all that sleep you got."
"There's no 'maybe' about it," I laughed.
This had to be the first time I'd ever had a relaxed conversation while riding on a Rheaird. I found that if I kept myself focused on the topic at hand, I could successfully ignore the fact that we were this high up. Also, holding Lloyd in the usual deathgrip tended to help.
I had no doubts that my day of relaxation had been worth it; it had definitely been nice to spend twenty-four hours without worrying like crazy. It had been a much-needed break. Not only that, the rest day seemed to have impacted the rest of the group in a positive manner, too. Everyone else just seemed so much less edgy. We had Colette back with us, and there seemed to be a solution to our predicament with the two worlds. I knew it wasn't the correct solution, but it was still a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone else. Facing summon spirits was also a bit less daunting than fighting Cruxis and the Desians - at least summon spirits weren't evil.
Also, Gnome wasn't exactly a terrifying, ominous figure. Hell, I had just dealt with an entire freaking Renegade base and countless dragons - I could handle some dorky looking summon spirit and his dorky gnomelette minions.
Speaking of which, I had gotten the recipe for curry from the House of Guidance's cook this morning, and made sure we were stocked up on red satay. It was gonna be spicy curry, dammit, and that gnomelette was gonna like it.
"So...the Temple of Earth?"
"Yeah," Lloyd replied. "It's on the same continent as Meltokio, I guess. It's the summon spirit Gnome."
"Piece of cake," I mumbled, quite comfortable with my chin on his shoulder. "I know the perfect strategy."
The teenager glanced over one shoulder, curious. "What's your plan?"
"Genis used Tidal Wave!" I replied, beaming. "It's super effective! The wild Gnome fainted! Genis gained over nine thousand experience points!"
Lloyd rolled his eyes. "You've lost me again."
"It's all right, Lloyd. You can't be expected to understand the inner workings of my strategic genius."
"...Dork."
That made me snort. He always had the same comeback.
A change beneath us alerted me to the extent of our progress; we had only been flying for a few hours, but we were already passing over a stretch of ocean. We wouldn't completely leave the continent for a while yet, but it was still surprising to see just how quickly the world was passing beneath us. Hopefully I could get used to this mode of travel quickly, because the Rheairds really were a lot faster. A journey that should've taken weeks instead was going to take a mere few days.
It was a lot less monotonous, but on the other side, it kind of felt like everything was being fast-forwarded. It occurred to me that once we decided on a course of action, we'd be able to get it done almost right away. Gone were the days of trekking over miles and miles of land, painstakingly rationing out supplies, and searching for good campsites. Half the time we'd be within flying distance of a town...
Well, here was something I already knew—technology makes you spoiled. Had I really gotten so used to uncomfortable conditions? Back on Earth, everything was always instantaneous and convenient.
I suppose it wasn't really so bad that I had lived the hard life for a while, though. It gave me some perspective.
"...Hey, Brit?"
"Hmm?"
"Uhh...what's an 'experience point', anyway?"
I laughed; had he been thinking about that this whole time? "It's a point of experience, obviously."
"That doesn't help at all," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. Then he turned his attention to the young mage flying just ahead. "Hey, Genis! How come using Tidal Wave on Gnome would give you experience points?"
"Huh?" Genis stared at him as if he'd just grown two heads.
"Gnome's element is earth, so it's safe to assume he'd be susceptible to water magic," Raine replied for her brother, cocking an eyebrow at us. "Battling a summon spirit would certainly increase his level of experience, though I'm not sure it's something you could assign a point value to, Lloyd."
"Brittany said it first," the teen shot back defensively.
"She's just babbling Earth nonsense again," Sheena commented.
"If you get enough experience points, you level up," I added sagely. Babbling Earth nonsense, huh...yeah, that sounded about right. Mostly I was bored and running my mouth off. I needed to stop doing that.
Lloyd turned his head to look at me, staring hard. "...Someday I'm gonna figure out what you're actually talking about."
The dead serious look on his face caused me to break down in a fit of laughter. Where would the fun be if I could never confuse the hell out of him? "Relax, Lloyd. It's just video game stuff."
"A what game?" Now he just looked more interested. Whoops.
"Nothing," I replied breezily. "Too hard to explain."
"Is it something we can play?"
That caused my smile to thin a little. I almost told him that we were playing one right now, but that probably wouldn't have been a smart move. Instead I just avoided the subject entirely.
"Wait, speaking of Gnome," I spoke as if I'd just thought of something. "Are there going to be gnomelettes in the Earth Temple?"
"Of course," the Professor replied. "Gnomelettes are loyal servants of the summon spirit Gnome. I'm certain we'll see at least a few."
"There are more of those guys?" Genis spoke up, exasperated. "Are we gonna need more Mizuho Potion?"
"Good question, squirt," Zelos remarked, smiling. He turned his eyes on me. "Got any convenient potions stashed in your bag, hunny?"
"No," I replied, giving him a flat stare.
The redhead turned back to Genis. "We're probably okay, then!"
"...What's that supposed to mean?" The half-elf grumbled, and then began to mutter insults as usual.
I, however, didn't miss the meaning behind his words or the way he kept looking at me. Nobody ever took him seriously or tried to read into anything he said, and that was what made him particularly dangerous. It was so easy to drop your guard around Zelos.
Also, Lloyd was clearly put out that I'd changed the subject on him. Rather than speak to either of them and try to resolve it, I elected to bury my face in the back of Lloyd's shoulder.
"Wake me up if I start to fall off," I advised him, and promptly pretended to ignore everyone and everything.
It was the afternoon of October 21st when we finally landed within sight of the temple—just a little over two days since we'd left the House of Guidance.
As I stared at the rocky crag that marked the entrance of the structure, I found myself repeating the date in my head. Friday, October 21st, 2011. Back home, the leaves were changing on the trees, and everyone would be getting ready for Halloween. Ash and I had been planning on carving pumpkins this year, but I had a feeling I wouldn't get home in time.
Last year on Halloween, my dad had taken me to a Patriots game at Gillette Stadium. They had played the Vikings, that was right. Tom Brady against Brett Favre. I remembered how excited I'd been over the whole thing, the anticipation over the matchup, the crowds of fans making their way to the stadium—some of them decked out in full-blown Halloween costumes. It was one of those good memories that warmed me whenever negative thoughts started to creep in to my mind.
Life had been simpler in 2010. Now, instead of making my way to a football stadium, I was heading into another monster-infested death trap. The worst part was knowing that this was just the first of many.
As I stared at the rocky crag, I remembered. Somewhere in the distant past, the Patriots were scoring a game winning touchdown, my father was pulling me into a fierce hug, and I knew what it meant to be happy.
The weight of Kerberos on my back was what anchored me to the present. Someday, I was going to be home, and I was going to feel that happiness again. Until then, I would endure and I would fight.
I was going to ensure that I had a world to return to, dammit.
The Temple of Earth loomed over us. Like everything else, we were going to overcome it. I just had to keep telling myself that.
After a short walk, we arrived at a wide staircase leading down deep into the ground. Raine led the descent, looking every which way and trying to absorb everything about the place. She hadn't had much chance to go into Ruin Mode at the Temple of Lightning, and apparently that meant she was going to make up for it now.
When we were deep enough in and the light from outside began to dim, torches started appearing on the walls. They were burning—probably with fire magic, because I had no idea who could have lit them otherwise.
At the foot of the staircase was an arched doorway, and I noticed an oracle stone to the side of it. We wouldn't need to worry about that now.
"Lloyd!" Raine suddenly halted, causing the teenager to stiffen.
"Y-Yes, Professor?"
She smiled, holding out her staff and tapping the slab of stone poking out of the wall in the doorway. Oh, so under normal circumstances that must have been the gate that would be blocking this place off...
"Let's see how closely you've been paying attention! I want you to tell me where we've seen this stone before and what it's called."
The blank look on Lloyd's face said it all. Not only did he not have a clue, he couldn't even seem to think of any wild guesses. "...Uh..."
Genis and Regal both obviously knew the answer, but neither seemed willing to bail Lloyd out. Probably because this was a common occurrence—for some reason the Professor seemed to think springing these questions on Lloyd was a good idea. Like she could catch some profoundly intelligent part of him by surprise.
"Oh!" Colette smiled, excited. "I think I remember! It was at the Triet ruins, right? It was called...um..."
"I learned about that rock back at the academy at some point, I think," Zelos offered, looking throughtful for once. "Poly...ah...poly-something. Yup."
A light seemed to go off in Lloyd's head, and he snapped his fingers. "That's right! It was polygamy!"
Everyone went abruptly silent as we all attempted to absorb the stupidity that Lloyd had just blurted out. Then I was bent over laughing, leaning against the wall for support. Polygamy? Oh Jesus, the things Lloyd came out with sometimes...
Zelos snickered, grinning widely. "Yeah, bud, that's exactly it. Good job—"
"No," the Professor interrupted, one hand on her forehead. She just kept shaking her head.
"Huh?" the teenager frowned at me. "What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?"
Regal frowned. "Erm...Lloyd, polygamy is the practice of having more than one spouse at a time."
"Husband or wife," Genis translated 'spouse' before Lloyd could get his second question out.
"...Oh. How was I supposed to know that?" Lloyd whined, elbowing me hard to get me to stop giggling.
"Well, you had the first syllable correct," Raine sighed. "Though Zelos was the one to first bring it up."
"It's polycarbonate, right?" Sheena finally spoke, giving Lloyd an exasperated look.
Raine nodded. "Correct. I was hoping Lloyd had been paying attention the first time we encountered it, but clearly those hopes were in vain..."
"Professor! That was months ago!"
"Regardless, there is some information I'd like you to retain while we're on this journey," Raine replied, frowning at him. "Information about the Ancient War in particular. What happened then resulted in our situation now, remember."
"It is important to learn from history, because it has the unfortunate tendency of repeating itself," Regal agreed.
She smiled, happy for some intelligent input. Then I found her eyes on me. "Brittany, are you paying attention?"
I blinked. "Um, yeah. Polycarbonate. Used in the Ancient War as a magic inhibitor, right?"
Her eyes widened with surprise. "That's right. Well, you have been studying."
"Yeah, I'm cool like that," I replied with a grin. I totally wasn't using my memories of the game or anything. No, sir.
"Hey, so if this stuff defends against magic, why don't we use it?" Lloyd piped up.
"And destroy a priceless artifact? Absolutely not!"
"There are probably traps to prevent anyone from dismantling this, too," Sheena commented. "It's a door meant to keep intruders out, after all. If it were easy to steal, it wouldn't be here. The method for creating polycarbonate doesn't exist anymore, so it's probably really valuable."
"Back home, polycarbonate is just another name for plastic..." I remarked. Was there a reason they shared the same name? From what I knew, the material got its name from what it was made out of. If they were made out of the same things, then how could the polycarbonate here be a rock? This world was still too confusing.
"Plastic?" Lloyd asked, frowning.
"...Definition unknown," Presea offered after a moment of thought.
Everyone was just giving me clueless looks, which told me more than enough. Come to think of it, I had never seen anything like plastic around here. Everything was made of traditional materials, like wood and metal. I was pretty sure the buttons on my coat were made of some sort of bone.
"Never mind," I said, shrugging. "Shouldn't we get going?"
Raine still looked interested, but she nodded. "Yes, we shouldn't linger for too long. Let's continue on."
As we passed through the doorway, I reached out and brushed a hand against the stone. Nope, it felt pretty rocky to me. Nothing like a typical polymer. Oh, well—logic was too much to ask for around here sometimes.
The inside of the Temple of Earth was large and cavernous, complete with stalactites and stalagmites and the faraway sound of dripping water. Thankfully it was well-lit with torches—actually, it seemed a little too bright in here. I had a definite feeling that there was some magic involved. Considering the fact that there were sheer drops on either side of the path we walked on, I was quite grateful for the light.
Eventually we came to an incredibly out-of-place looking pedestal that had the faint glow of magic coming from it. It was a pale blue color, with intricate carvings lining the sides of it in the Angelic language.
"Hey! Isn't that..." Lloyd started, but then Genis spoke up.
"It's a Sorcerer's Ring pedestal. We haven't seen one of those in a while."
"I've...never seen one," I mumbled, eyebrows raised. Actually, I hadn't been expecting to see one. Not after all this time.
"Really?" Lloyd glanced over at me, and then shrugged. "I think the last time we used it was on our first trip to Thoda Geyser. That was right before we met you."
"So what's so important about this thing?" Zelos asked, tapping the pedestal.
"It makes the ring do cool stuff!" Lloyd explained. "Colette, try it out."
"Okay!" The blonde pulled the ring out of the pocket she'd been keeping it in, and then walked over to the pedestal. I watched as she set it into a small niche, where the glow was emanating from. The pedestal's light seemed to flow into the ring for a moment; the jewel glowed brightly, and then faded. This seemed to be her cue to pull it out.
"Be careful," Raine cautioned. "We don't know what it might do this time."
"All right. Umm...everyone back away for a second?" Colette tried, smiling. We all complied.
As she fiddled with the ring, I found my eyes drawn to where the path ended ahead. There was a large crevasse, and then the path seemed to continue on to a doorway that probably led to another area. Then I looked up, and saw several large stalactites hanging from the ceiling. What did this remind me of...? The water temple in Twilight Princess! Now if only we had some arrows and bombs, then we could—oh, wait, I had a better idea.
"Colette," I spoke up. "Try pointing it at those stalactites."
"Is that really a good idea?" Sheena asked, skeptical.
"Let's see..." Colette murmured to herself, and then held the ring up. It glowed again, and the ground around us began to shake. Everyone reached out and held on to each other, fighting to remain upright.
The quake was strange—extremely isolated, something that shouldn't have been possible. The shaking didn't seem to affect parts of the cave that were out of range of about twenty square feet. That was probably good, or the entire structure might come caving in on us. Earthquakes underground just didn't sound safe at all.
Either way, my advice worked. The stalactites cracked at their base, and then came crashing down. Some of them turned and fell sideways, but a few came straight down, their points driving deep into the earth below. The round, uneven bases of the stalactites could now serve as makeshift stepping stones to the next part of the path.
"Not bad," Zelos remarked. His tone was a little too smug—he'd expected it to work, because it had been my idea.
…That was it. From now on, I was keeping my mouth shut, even if it meant we'd have to run around in circles for hours on end.
"Oh, I see..." Sheena walked forward, making a quick jump on to one of the stalactites. "They're pretty sturdy. We'll probably have to use the ring to clear paths like this in order to get to the seal."
"This is going to be treacherous," Raine mused, looking troubled. "If we create an earthquake in the wrong place, we could cause a cave in. Colette, please refrain from using the ring again until we investigate the area thoroughly."
"Yes, Professor," came the sheepish reply.
"Well, let's go, then!" Lloyd said, already getting excited. Sheena was already standing by the doorway at the other end of the room.
"Be careful," Raine called as her student began to make his way over there as well.
Now Presea and Genis began to head across; Regal followed. Amazingly enough, the convict didn't even come close to losing his balance after each jump.
"Ummm..." I gave the stalactites a dubious stare. It looked simple enough, and they were spaced at a distance that was easy to jump, but any misstep would lead to a pretty nasty fall. And the fall was all I could think about.
Of course, now the Professor began to head across, leaving me alone with Zelos. The redhead seemed to understand the predicament fully, even offering me a quick glance to show that he acknowledged the show of discomfort I had just made.
And then he gleefully shoved off as well, leaving me standing alone. Bastard.
As I watched Zelos make his journey across with a very familiar sinking feeling in my stomach, I began to ponder all of the different ways I could die this time around. I didn't doubt my physical ability to make it across...it was just my mental state I was worried about. Heights scared me so much that I couldn't keep a clear head when there was danger of a fall, and the worst feeling of vertigo overtook me. It wasn't so bad on the Rheairds, where I could just cling to Lloyd and wait for it to be over. But in situations like this...
"Hi!"
"Waaah!" I jumped at the sudden voice, nearly tripping and falling into the crevasse I had been so worried about.
Colette reached out and caught me by the arm. "Oh, I'm sorry! I thought you noticed me coming over..."
It was now that I realized she had flown back over to get me, and once again I had been so absorbed in my own thoughts that I was totally oblivious. I really needed to stop doing that.
"Anyway," she continued, "I'm not so good at carrying people for long distances, but I think if I stop to rest halfway, I can bring you across!"
Hop across, or be hauled across by someone who's not entirely confident in their own strength...awesome. I felt just fantastic about this now.
On the other hand, everyone was standing by the opposite doorway and waiting for me. Ugh, story of my life...I hated being that annoying person in the group that just couldn't keep up. I didn't want everyone else to feel like they always had to cater to my sorry ass.
So, I inwardly steeled myself and offered Colette the best smile I could manage (which probably looked insane to some degree). "All right. Um...let's get this over with, I guess."
"Okay!" she chirped. I could tell she knew how much all of this scared me, but she seemed to be acting her usual self just to cheer me up. It just bothered me how this stuff always had to be an ordeal.
She looped her arms around my waist, flapped her wings, and took off. Our lift into the air wasn't graceful, but it wasn't exactly clumsy, either. She handled the extra weight better than I thought she would. I knew she had the advantage of angelic strength, but it was still hard to fathom considering her smaller stature.
After we had gone about a quarter of the way, it was noticeable that she was putting a certain degree of effort into this. I felt her shift her arms a little bit to get a better grip on me, and my heart rate kicked up a bit. The flapping of her wings, causing us to bob in the air, was making me a little nauseous. Just great—everyone would get to see me puke, too. As if this wasn't already embarrassing.
An eternity passed and we were finally halfway. Colette dropped down—an action that made my stomach flop—and we landed on one of the stalactites.
I was immediately glad I had allowed Colette to help me with this. Just standing on this small platform made me extremely uneasy; unless there was something stable for me to hold on to, I just couldn't handle heights. The vertigo made me feel like I was constantly off-balance.
She took a deep breath, her wings fluttering slightly. "I think I'm ready—"
The blonde never got to finish her sentence, because it was at that moment that the ground began to shake. It was a more intense quake than the one Colette had caused earlier, and I noticed with dismay that the stalactites were beginning to topple. Rumbling filled my ears and I saw the others run to the edge of the platform they were on, helpless to do anything but watch.
"Colette! Brittany!" Lloyd yelled.
And then my fears were finally fulfilled. I fell.
"Hey."
Nnnghh...
"Hey! Hey!"
What the...hell...? Ugh...
"Hey, loser! You can't sleep here!"
"...Unnnh?"
Reluctantly I forced my eyes open, and immediately had to squint against the light of the torch burning overhead. My entire body felt like one enormous bruise. And not the yellow, hurts-if-you-poke-it kind of bruise. The nasty black kind that you show everyone because it's hilarious to see their reactions. Hold on, why was I thinking about his again?
"Hellooooo?"
Oh yeah. There was a lawn gnome—er, Christmas elf? No, no, they were called gnomelettes, that was right. Anyway, he was standing over me with his hands on his hips, looking...not intimidating at all.
"...Hi," I replied after a pause, trying to figure out what was going on. Moving hurt like hell, which was probably a bad sign.
"Humans aren't supposed to be here," the gnomelette pointed out. "Nap somewhere else!"
"I wasn't napping..." I mumbled helplessly. My clothes were covered in dirt and dust, and in a few places they were ripped with some blood seeping through. One of the cuts on my left leg had bled enough to create a small puddle on the ground beneath me. Had this guy honestly thought I would sleep like this?
"...Could you tell me how to get back to the entrance to this place?" I finally asked. That was the last place I could remember being, so it was a start, right?
He frowned, and then pointed up to where some tiny points of light were visible. Were those torches above? That looked really high up...
"You'd have to use our caves to get all the way back up there," the gnomelette mused. Then he took a good hard look at me, and shrugged. "You're cute, so I guess I could let you do it just this once. But don't come back here! And stop bleeding all over my rock!"
"Sorry," I muttered back. It was suddenly very hard not to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the statement. He's an angry elf. Oh god, why could I never think straight at times like this?
Thankfully, none of my inner train of thought seemed to be visible on my face, because the gnomelette left me alone after that. I fought to organize my thoughts in the meantime...and, of course, stop bleeding on his rock.
My bag was looking pretty beaten up, but it had ended up here with me. I had been carrying two life bottles and a panacea; both of them were shattered, coating everything in a lovely mess. The few lemon gels I had been carrying survived; I took one of the bottles that had cracked, and opened it to spread the contents on my leg wound. After sealing that up with some bandages, my leg was almost as good as new.
Now I turned my gaze back up to those points of light the gnomelette had shown me. That high up...how had I...?
Then the memory hit me. The earthquake, the terror, the fall...
I stared at those lights, realized how far I had fallen, and then my stomach finally rebelled. I began to retch, placing a hand over my mouth and turning over on to my knees. I felt vomit creep up the back of my throat and forced it back, squeezing my eyes shut. After a minute or so, the horrible sick feeling abated. The taste of bile lingered in my mouth.
How could I have fallen that far...? Just the thought of it...the memory of it...
From this angle, I could see that the crevasse I noticed earlier had actually been a full bridge, but it looked as if it had been knocked down at some point. The fallen stalactites had driven their points into this elevated stretch of earth, giving a false sense of where the floor actually was. What I had thought would be a nasty fall earlier was actually a really nasty fall.
I must have fallen to that elevated stretch, and then tumbled down the incline from there to here...the impact would have killed me otherwise. It certainly explained why I was so beat up, but I was amazed that I hadn't broken anything...
Blood trickled down the side of my face, and I absentmindedly wiped it away. Well, I was here. Time to assess the situation.
The gnomelette had said something about caves. Now that I was looking, I could see the opening of a cave not too far from here—it was where he'd headed off to after speaking with me. Torches on either side of the opening marked the entrance. That was definitely a start.
I gingerly pushed myself to my feet, making sure to test each leg carefully before putting my full weight on it. No, nothing was broken. I was a little dizzy from blood loss, but it was bearable.
What was my game plan, then? The caves were my only option. Hopefully I'd be able to meet up with somebody...if not, I was going to have to wait either at the entrance or at the seal, depending on which was more accessible. I just didn't want to get thrown off any more cliffs because of freak earthquakes. What the hell was up with that, anyway?
No sense in worrying about it after the fact. I did my best to brush off my clothes, and then began what I was sure was going to be a very long walk.
The caves were, for the most part, empty—or they looked that way, anyway. I saw gnomelettes here and there, but they left me alone other than a few muttered insults here and there. Such charming little people.
There were monsters, but they tended to shy away from the caves that looked like they were more used. Was it because the gnomelettes had adequate means of defending themselves, or because they were protected by Gnome? Either way, it meant I had a safe route of passage for the time being.
Since I had absolutely no clue where I was going, I took every path that seemed to lead upward. My battered legs were killing me after about thirty minutes of this; finally, I found a large rock and plopped down on it to take a breather.
That was when a ball of multicolored fur launched itself out in front of me, nearly causing me to fall over.
"Here!" It squeaked in a very familiar voice, "she's here!"
Now that the shock was wearing off, I finally realized that said ball of fur had an animal shape to it, and it was wearing a collar with a bell attached to it. Right, Corrine.
Running footsteps approached, but instead of Sheena, it was Colette who entered my line of vision. She looked pale and out of breath, but when she caught sight of me, her shoulders slumped with relief.
"Thank goodness," she breathed.
Corrine paused to sniff me for a few seconds, scrunching his nose up a little when he saw the slowly healing wound I'd patched up on my leg. Then he looked up at me. "Are you hurt badly?"
I shrugged, surprised that he had even bothered to ask. "Nothing I can't handle."
"Good." He huffed a little, tilting his head and watching me. "...You smell funny and I don't trust you—"
"Uh, thanks?"
"—but you saved Sheena, so I'm going to help. Stay here with Colette and I'll get the others!"
And before I could get another word in, Corrine had bounded off into the darkness, leaving me alone with the blonde. Well, he was as pleasant as ever. But he was probably the only reason Colette had been able to track me down in the first place...so I did owe him one. I wondered what he would think if he knew it was his life I had ultimately saved, not Sheena's. He probably still wouldn't like me.
"Um...I don't think you smell funny," Colette offered, sitting down next to me.
I snorted. "Good to know, Colette."
"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked, leaning over to get a better look at me. "You fell so far! I'm really sorry...I should have grabbed you, but I was so surprised by the earthquake, I—"
"You don't need to apologize," I told her with a sigh. "It was an accident. I'm fine, I think. Somehow. Everything hurts, but I don't think it's severe."
"You're bruised and bleeding all over," she murmured, reaching into her bag. When she withdrew her hand, she was holding a cloth and her canteen. Wetting the cloth, she reached over and dabbed at still-bleeding cut on my head. "Here, let me get some of it."
I was about to protest, but then I understood that I really did need patching up. We were going to be sitting here until the others found us, so it couldn't hurt. "...Knock yourself out, I guess."
She cleaned off a couple of the smaller cuts I had acquired on my fall, using an apple gel to seal some of them up. It wasn't doing a whole lot, but it definitely eased the pain a bit.
"Sometimes I wish I knew healing spells like the Professor," Colette sighed. "Something like this would be easy for her. She's so amazing."
"It would be nice..." I remarked. "Even knowing one spell. Being to heal up my own wounds every now and then would be awesome. Zelos has it pretty good, actually."
"My angelic spells can help during battle, but..." she chewed on her lower lip. "I don't really like using them. Sometimes I don't think I really understand my own strength..."
"That's all the reason to practice more, right?"
"I guess so," she said doubtfully. "Um...Brittany?"
"Yeah?" I glanced over at her.
"Back at the Dragon's Nest, when I used Judgment, I..." she shifted uncomfortably. "This is going to sound silly, but...it just felt like it wasn't me. It couldn't have been me...I'm not that strong."
"What makes you think that?" I asked, straight-faced. I hated playing dumb like this...but what else could I tell her? "You aren't weak, Colette."
She shook her head. "But Rodyle wouldn't have...have said those things about me if I was capable of something like that."
"Colette...do you actually believe the things he said?"
Fidgeting again, she didn't give me any reply. She just stared at the ground with a downcast expression, which in a way was answer enough. Jesus...she had never shown this side of her to me before. I was so surprised, for a moment I wasn't sure what to do.
For once, though, the answer did come. Here was someone who was suffering, who had suffered privately for a long time—someone whose feelings I understood and could relate to. She wasn't alone. I didn't want her to feel alone, because a lot of the time I felt alone and I hated it.
"Do you think I'm a bad person?" I asked her. "Be honest."
The abruptness of my question clearly shocked her, but she gathered her bearings in time to give me a straight answer. "No, of course not!"
"Good to hear," I replied wearily. "Look, I know you hate that you have weaknesses, and Rodyle probably didn't let you forget it the entire time you were in his custody. But here's something I bet no one ever taught you back home—it's okay."
She opened her mouth to reply, then hesitantly closed it when she saw I still had plenty more to say.
"Regardless of all the self-righteous bull people might spew at you, everyone has two sides to them—the outside and the inside. The outside is the prettied up part of us we show in some crazy attempt to seem normal and acceptable. The inside is where we keep all the crap we wouldn't want anyone else to see. No one is perfect enough to wear everything on the outside. Hell, anyone who does wear everything on the outside is probably conceited."
"You might think everyone else seems so much braver and stronger than you," I said, "but that's just what they're showing on the outside. And even the weaknesses they do show seem perfectly okay compared to yours, right?"
Her eyes lit up—I had hit home. "They do, though—everyone else is—"
I didn't let her get the thought out. "I didn't really start feeling like a part of this group until after the Tower of Salvation. Before that, I was just a tagalong. And I still sometimes think I'm being a burden."
She gave me a wide-eyed look at the sudden revelation, so I continued before she could interrupt.
"I'm arrogant. I always make references to things only people from Earth would understand, and then I laugh when all it does is confuse people. You guys are intelligent human beings and all I ever do is poke fun at this world, as if mine's a hell of a lot better. I'm selfish. For the longest time I justified it by saying that I'm just a civilian and I never asked to get involved in any of this, but that's no excuse. It's not like you volunteered for this, either. I'm weak. Even after everything, I still trail behind all of you in skill level, so I'm always going to be the one who can't quite keep up as well as the others."
I swallowed thickly, forcing myself to keep talking. "When I was being kept prisoner in Welgaia, Yggdrasill offered me a proposal—if I betrayed you all, he would let me go home and forget about all of this. I actually considered it." Now I offered a small, insecure smile. "Well, that's my inside, Colette. You can shove all your nastiness in a closet so your house looks presentable for the neighbors, but if you don't let it breathe every now and then, all that crap will start to smell."
She was quiet for a moment, but then she shocked me by bursting out into uncontrollable giggles. I sat there gaping at her for a moment; then I saw the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, and tried to straighten out my expression.
"Um...Colette?"
"S-Sorry," she laughed, wiping away tears before they had a chance to fall. "It's just—it's just, it's so true. I..." She stopped her giggling for the moment, hiccuping a little. "When we were on the world regeneration journey, I...I thought about running away sometimes. Because I didn't want to go. Because I was too scared. But that would have been betraying everyone in Sylvarant..."
She sniffled. "And when we were at the Tower of Salvation, and you were all looking up at me and begging me not to do it...I almost didn't. I...sometimes I just wish I could go home, even if...even if it meant giving up on all of this, giving up on everyone...I just get so tired sometimes—oh, that sounds horrible!"
"No, it doesn't," I said, rolling my eyes and slinging an arm around her shoulders. "I know you would never give up on everyone. You're too good of person for that...but everyone has those kinds of thoughts. It just makes you human."
"But I..." She hesitated, absentmindedly rubbing one shoulder and suddenly looking very depressed. Then she just shook her head, and smiled weakly over at me. "...That means you're human, too. So you shouldn't call yourself selfish and weak, either."
"I won't if you won't," I told her. "Deal?"
She smiled. "Okay. Um...thank you for telling me all of this. It really means a lot."
"It's nothing," I said sheepishly, even though dumping out all of those insecurities had been kind of scary. There was still that part of me that had a paralyzing fear of rejection. "Just...if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone..."
"Yeah," Colette replied with a nod, but that old smile of hers was back in place and I wasn't sure if her answer was quite so genuine.
There was a short silence during which I listened for the sounds of approaching footsteps, and found none. It seemed like the others were still some distance away. Maybe Corrine hadn't even gotten to them yet. Hopefully we wouldn't be waiting here too long...I wasn't sure how long my patience would hold up. I already kind of wanted to get up and explore on my own; with Colette here, I was feeling a bit more confident.
"Well, actually..." Colette started, and then bit her lip. "I've been meaning to, um...ask you about Zelos."
I tensed a bit, and immediately tried to hide it under a casual facade. "What about him?"
She gave me a troubled look. "You two are so distant now. It's almost like...like you were never friends at all. What happened?"
Well, the cat was out of the bag. And apparently she had kept quiet about it until now, or Lloyd would've told her what was up. Either way, I couldn't just pretend there was nothing going on. Everyone else knew, or had at least figured it out for themselves.
"It was the morning after you were captured," I explained. "Zelos and I got into a huge fight. He was mad about something I'd said to him, as well as the way I'd been acting. We exchanged some choice words. He implied that I sleep around, and I punched him in the face."
She gasped a little. "You...?"
I averted my gaze. "He upset me. Really upset me. And I think it's because I know some of what he said was right. He told me I was arrogant, he called me a liar, he said I was fake...and I pretty much said the same back to him. We haven't really spoken since."
"But..." Colette shook her head. "You were getting along so well before. What did you say to him to make him so angry?"
"I told him that I trusted him. And then...I guess at one point after that, I implied that I didn't. He thinks I was just screwing with him."
After mulling over this for a moment, she just frowned. "You don't like him anymore?"
"Huh?" My eyebrows shot up.
She tilted her head. "Even after what happened, if you could go back and be friends with Zelos anyway, would you?"
"Oh..." I blinked, taken aback. Even after those hurtful things he'd said, the horrible way he'd acted? "...Yeah. I guess I would..."
"Then that's what you have to do," Colette told me. "Because you're a good person, and I think Zelos is a good person, too."
"Colette..." I sighed, staring dejectedly at the floor. Just go back and be friends? If only it were that easy. Just take it all back...
"I think..." She hesitated, and then offered me a genuine smile. "I think we could all get along better if more people were as honest as you. Just tell Zelos how you really feel. Maybe all you have to do is show that you trust him, and he'll understand."
I stared at her in surprise. Tell him how I really felt? The thought of leaving myself open like that to him...that was terrifying. And then it occurred to me that I didn't trust him, and I had lied to him...
If I ever wanted to be his friend, then I would have to take that leap, wouldn't I? I'd have to tell him how I really felt, leave myself vulnerable, and risk rejection. Because there was always that risk in trusting someone.
"...Maybe you're right, Colette..." I frowned thoughtfully. "I should talk to him...I—"
"Heeeeyyyyy!" A sudden voice caused us both to look up, and I nearly let out a groan.
"Speak of the devil," I mumbled.
"Fear not, hunnies! The Great Zelos has come to your rescue!"
"Idiot!" Sheena growled. "If you keep yelling, you're gonna cause this place to cave in!"
"Maybe you should stop yelling too, my lovely banshee!"
"I see them now," Raine said wearily.
I looked up in time to see the others approaching, their forms cast in shadow by the torchlight. And at long last, the group was reunited.
Well, I had pretty much fallen off a cliff within five minutes of walking into this place. What other fun things were in store for me today? There was only one way to find out.
I pushed myself to my feet, stepping forward and greeting everyone with a tired smile.
A/N: Well, I tried. I've been quite busy lately, working and trying not to let my bank account eat itself and all that. XD Now that the holidays are over I'm hoping to have more writing time. Who knows. I'd like to not be writing this story till I'm thirty, though. XD
Anyway, reviews are always much appreciated! I have to get up for work in five hours, so I've gotta goooo! ;_;
Next time: Spicy!
