Hey Dad,

Er… it's awkward writing a letter considering all I have to do is drive a short distance to knock on your door but. Hi. Um, how are you? And can you stop talking bad about Big brother France to the other states? They're starting to give me dirty looks like I'm about to reach out and grope them.

Which is BAD, considering they went from completely ignoring me like I'm Uncle Mattie, to watching me.

Love,

Sofia "Indiana" Jones-Bonnefoy

Sofia,

It's not awkward, everyone's doing it! It's like drugs…I mean…

Well, I'm trapped in a closet, so it's a good thing that you're writing!

NO. NO. I'm sorry about the states, I'll talk to them but France…scares meeee…He offered to give me the key to this closet if I had sex with him! I'm scared of him…

VERY SCARED…I heard he was creepin on Romano and Italy when they were kids…

Pl-plus, he's like…useless! And he like…ehh, okay I'm being mean.

Okay I'll stop bad-mouthing him…And I'll talk to everyone else.

America