Motionless Little Joe stood in front of the bench and watched his brother on the ground. „Adam…?"

His voice was but a whisper. As if in trance he walked slowly behind the bench .„Adam…?"

Again, it was only a whisper. He stood with his brother and looked at him with frightened eyes. Then his breathing stopped. On the letters that were lying beside and bellow Adam, a sea of blood formed. Little Joe overcame being rigid of fear and looked around rushed. What should he do now? How would he explain to Pa that he had shot Adam? He looked back to the ground. Adam didn't move. He was sure his brother was dead. Where should he go now? Would he go to jail, be hanged? Without thinking about it, he ran off, hid the cans and put the bench back where it belonged. He put the gun back into the desk drawer. Then he ran back to the garden, climbed a tree and waited to see what would happen.

XXX

Adam unsaddled Sport, took the mail from his saddlebag and looked through it. In town he had talked with Grace for so long that he hadn't gotten to read the mail. A wide grin spread across his face when he noticed a letter from Frederic was among the mail. He must have written it just before the final exams of the fourth year. Adam wondered if his friend already knew what he would do after graduation or better, would do now. It was the end of June and he would certainly have been working somewhere. Adam wanted to get a coffee and then read the letter before all the others would come home. His head snapped up when he heard a gun was cocked. He quickly realized the situation before his eyes. Little Joe stood not ten feet away from him with a gun in his hand. It looked like he wanted to shoot at cans that stood before him. But as he held the gun, he would hit anything, but not those cans. Before he could call his brother, he heard a bang. Adam lunged aside. Even in flight, he felt he was hit just above the left hip. His leap was stopped when he hit his head on the water trough. He quickly got up and staggered back a few steps. Then, however, his legs gave in and his world went black.

„Adam …..?"

He slowly opened his eyes. Someone was shaking his shoulder. „Adam ...?"

He instantly closed his eyes again as he felt dizzy when he wanted turn his head. Adam wanted to get up, but a strong pain into his left side made him fall to the ground again.

"Adam, stay still. You are wounded in the head and somewhere on the belly. I'll carry you to your room."

Adam didn't dare to nod, fearing that he would get dizzy again. So he let himself be lifted by Hoss and carried into the house. All the way up he clenched his teeth in pain so that his jaw hurt. Hoss laid him cautiously on the bed and unbuttoned his shirt. "Dad-burnit, Adam ... that's a gunshot. Who did this?"

Before Adam's eye the image of Little Joe appeared with the gun in his hand. If Hoss didn't know what had happened, it meant that his little brother hadn't looked for help, and must have removed all traces. "I ... I do not know."

He clenched his teeth again, as Hoss took a closer look at the wound at his side. "I'll go down quickly to look for Hop Sing and send one of the men into town to get the doctor." He put his hand on Adam's chest. "I'll be right back, Adam."

Adam closed his eyes and nodded cautiously. His room door closed and Adam wondered where his little brother was now. Certainly Little Joe would just certainly beat himself up with guilt. Adam wanted to sit up, to go looking for his brother, so he could talk to him. At this moment, however, as he leaned on his elbows, he cried out in pain and fell back into bed and was glad that the blackness of unconsciousness returned.

Little Joe couldn't stay any longer at the tree. With every minute that he sat there on the bough, he knew that he had quite screwed up. He should never have left Adam just there.

With slumped shoulders, he opened the door of the house. He had the door handle still in hand as his father was running right towards him. "Joseph, there you are!"

His father took him into his arms and held him tightly. Quite surprised by the reaction, Joe said nothing. Ben let go of Little Joe, looking at him up and down. "Are you alright? Did anything happen to you?"

Joe shook his head, still amazed at what was just happening. "Pa, I think Joe doesn't know what's exactly going on."

"Joe, where have you been in the last hours?"

"In the garden."

More he didn't dare to say. "Then you haven't realized that Adam was shot?"

"Is he ... dead?"

Ben took him in his arms again. "No, son. He's hurt quite badly, but the doctor said, he'll pull through. He has also been asking for you."

Little Joe shrugged. Ben ran his hand through his hair. "We had feared that the one who shot your brother got you, too. I'm so glad you're alright."

Little Joe looked at his father with wide eyes. When Adam was awake, why hadn't he told what had happened? He must have seen that he had shot at him. Little Joe was sure that he hadn't hit Adam in the back.

"Don't worry, Joseph. He'll soon be back on his feet. He sleeps now and your mother is with him. You can visit him tomorrow morning before you have to go to school."

Ben stood up and Hoss grabbed Little Joe on the shoulder. "Come on, buddy. You must be hungry."

He took his brother and went to the kitchen with him.

XX

Little Joe was sitting in his room at the table and tried to concentrate on his homework. It had been two weeks since he had shot his brother. So far he hadn't dared to visit Adam in his room. Why had he thought of the stupid idea of taking the gun without talking to Pa about it? If he could only make the whole thing just undone. He was glad that Adam's wounds healed quickly and the gunshot hadn't inflamed. He looked at the letter, which lay between his school stuff. It was the fourth in the last two weeks and this time Mr. Conner wanted to talk with his father in person. But as he had signed the last two himself, he couldn't give this one to his father. But Joe couldn't focus properly in school any longer because his thoughts were only with Adam. If Mr. Conner then addressed him, he gave snotty answers, although he didn't really wanted to. He let his head drop on the table and began to cry. Next week was his birthday, but he wasn't in the mood for celebrating. Little Joe shrugged when he felt a hand on his back. He raised his head, turned around cautiously and looked at Adam standing before him. At once he jumped up and put his arms around Adam, still crying. "I didn't want that, Adam. Please, you have to believe me."

Adam waited until his brother had calmed down. Then he gently pushed Little Joe away and sat down at edge of the bed. "I know that, Little Joe."

Joe stood sniffling in front of him. "I just left you there ... I thought ... I thought you were ..."

"Joe, how could you just get such a crazy idea? You know exactly how dangerous it can be when you play around with a gun."

"I saw you shooting cans with Hoss, and I wanted to do it, too."

Since his wound still hurt, Adam changed his sitting position slightly. When his father would see that he had got up, he would certainly scold him, but he really wanted to talk to Joe. "Why didn't you just ask?"

Joe looked down. "Pa surely would have said no."

"How can you be sure?"

His brother shrugged and looked at him again. "Joe, I could have been dead, just because you've done something, without thinking about it."

"Never again will I touch a gun, Adam. I promise."

"If you've got no intention to leave the Ponderosa after school, you know that this isn't possible. Out here you need a gun to survive." Adam put his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Joe, you really need to start thinking about your actions. You're not a little boy anymore. Not much longer and your punishment will no longer be just a talk in the barn, but a talk with the sheriff."

"I know that, Adam! But at that moment when I had the gun in my hand, I didn't think about what could happen. I only had seen ..." Joe dropped his head again. "... the fun."

Adam took a breath. Since his brother was a little boy, he kept trying to explain to him that he should think first before acting, but the way it looked, Joe still hadn't understood. "Joe, you have to tell Pa the truth."

Startled Joe stepped back. "I can't, Adam. He'll hate me for it and certainly hand me over to the Sheriff."

"Yes, he'll be very upset and certainly will have a talk with you in the barn, but he won't hate you, Joe. You are his son and he loves you."

Forcefully Joe shook his head. "No ... No ... he'll never forgive me. He loves you much more than me."

Adam took Joe's hand. "That's nonsense. He loves all the four of us the same. What I once said to you. If you screw up, you have to stand by it. No matter how bad it is."

"Adam ... why aren't you angry with me and give me a tanning?"

Adam kept on holding Joe's hand. "Oh, believe me, Joe. I am angry that you make such trouble again and again. But as you know, the way of life of Indians has a great influence on my life and one thing I've learned already very early by the Gosiute. To hit no children - and I'll stick to that for the rest of my life. Whatever happens."

"I'm scared, Adam."

"Come to me."

Adam pulled Joe close to him and took him in his arms. "Joe, you do need to tell Pa on your own. This I can't and I won't spare you."

Still in Adam's arm Joe gave him an answer. "I've screwed up even more, Adam."

Joe could feel Adam breathing deeply. "I've signed two letters from the school by myself, and now Mr. Conner wants to speak with Pa in person."

Adam broke the embrace and then grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "Little Joe, you're a Cartwright. We don't lie and we don't cheat. You'll tell Pa this as well and woe to you, if I find out you haven't. Then you will see when I'm really angry."

Joe turned around and took the letter from Mr. Conner and left his room.

XXX

In a pretty good mood Adam opened the front door. The cattle drive was over and he had come through in good shape, despite the concerns of his father, that he wouldn't make it only so soon after the gunshot wound. He was almost a year back at home again and never regretted his decision to return to Nevada. With a gleeful squeaking Sarah came running toward him. „Hello, Winona."

He took his sister in his arms and went with her to his father's desk. "You wanted to see me, Pa?"

His father pointed a pen on him. "Her name is Sarah, Adam."

"We haven't forgotten. Isn't that right, Winona?"

His sister threw her arms around his neck and laughed loudly. Ben rolled his eyes and gave his son a letter. Adam let Sarah to the floor and read the letter. Sarah clung to his leg and looked up at him. "And, are you going to San Francisco to sign a contract with them?"

His father shook his head. "No, I'll write them a letter. I think that'll be enough."

Adam cocked his head and looked at his father skeptically. "I think you'd better go. They're the best agents for the British market, and we wanted to finally ship our timber overseas as well. Therefore, you should negotiate with them in person."

Sarah began to pluck his pant leg again babbling loudly. Annoyed Ben threw the pen on the table. "Did you see Emillia outside? She just wanted to get something done."

Adam took Sarah back on his arm. "No, I haven't, but she isn't bothering me."

He smiled at his sister and gave her his glove, which he had in his pocket. "But I cannot talk in peace with you."

"I can. So are you going?"

Ben leaned back. "No. I think that is completely unnecessary. I'm writing a letter to inform them about our conditions and that must suffice. I won't make a trip again before fall."

"Shall I make the trip then? Pa, we need the contract in order to finally achieve our goals. Otherwise we can forget about England."

"No. I need you here. Hoss isn't ready to take on all the responsibility. He is also twice a week at Koko's farm, thanks to you."

Adam realized that his father wanted to shoot reckless arrows as he was obviously looking to have an arguement. But he was in such a good mood and didn't want it to be spoiled by his father. "Are you alright, Pa?"

Ben stood up and walked into the living room. Softly Adam spoke with his sister. "Oh, oh, Winona. I think our Pa today got out of the wrong side of the bed."

He put Sarah back to the floor, and followed his father. "Did you have a dispute with Emillia?"

Ben turned to him with arms akimbo. "No, we haven't."

"What did you do then? You aren't just so annoyed because of Sarah."

His father dropped into the chair. "Emillia's expecting another child."

Adam grinned from ear to ear. "So what? That's good news."

His father laughed. "Considering that you were so angry with me that I got married, you're taking it quite relaxed."

Yes, his father was right. He'd never have believed that after a year he was glad that Emillia and Sarah belonged to his family. Without Emillia he and his father would certainly have argued a lot more, and in spite of his intentions, not to make friends with the wife of his father, he liked her, and Sarah was just a little sunshine.

"Why aren't you glad?"

Ben got up and went to the fireplace. "I am, but ..." his eyes went to Sarah. "... I don't know if I still have so much patience."

Adam had to laugh. "Are you telling me, you're too old for this?"

Ben's eyebrows furrowed. "Certainly not ... you and Hoss, you always were so reasonable, but Little Joe tried my patience almost beyond its limits right from the start, and when I look at Sarah, I have to admit she also has a very lively temperament. So how will it be with the next child?"

Adam scratched his head. "What shall I tell you now?" He chuckled again. "Maybe you should have thought about it before?"

His father's eyes flashed at him. Sarah toddled over to the table and tried to take an apple out of the bowl. Adam sat down on the table giving her one. With the apple in her hand, she climbed onto the settee and began to eat. "Pa, look at her. I'm grateful that she's here, and just as grateful I'll be at your next child." Adam paused briefly. "Pa, live in the past, if you want to be sad. Live in the future, if you want to be scared. But if you want to be happy, then enjoy the moment."

Ben looked at his daughter and smiled. "I guess I'm just still done by the cattle drive and by the events that have happened to you before."

"Or you're just getting old."

Ben raised his hand, but he couldn't help grinning. "Don't get cheeky, son."

"Pa, you've always wanted a big family and now you get it."

"That's true. But honestly, Adam? I actually thought that you'd finally get back home with good news."

Adam took an apple and got up again to leave the house. "When you attach so much value on it, Pa, then I won't keep you in suspense any longer."

He opened the door and could see his father beaming all over his face. "The fence on west pasture is finally repaired."

Even through the closed door, he could hear his father calling his name.