Chapter 53: Elizabeth Hannah Black

It had been five weeks since their baby died, 4 weeks since they had buried her in the graveyard at the church in Godric's Hollow. Her headstone only had the information of her birth and death. They did not name her. They were too distraught to name her. Sirius had returned to work just a day before but May would not. She would not move from their bed. She only moved to go to the bathroom. She never left the bedroom. "Come on, May. You've got to move. It's making you ill."

"Go away." She mumbled. Her back faced him. May was curled up under the bed covers. She no longer cried. She had no energy to cry. Not any more. "Just go to work."

Sirius sighed heavily. "Please, May. I feel like I'm losing you." He sat on the edge of the bed, wanting to reach out a touch her. But he knew she would flinch away from him. She did it every time he tried to hold her in bed, just trying to give her some comfort. She rejected his comfort every time. "Please May."

"Just go away!" She growled at him, not turning to face him at all. "Just go to work!"

He sighed heavily again and stood up. "I love you. Please, you need to get out of bed. It will make you ill. I know you can't stop thinking about our daughter's death. I can't. But you can't let it run your life. You need to stop this!" She ignored him and just lay there very still. "I'm not arguing with you any more!" He stormed out of the flat. He knew she was hurting but she did not have to hide her feelings from him. He needed her to talk. Keeping her emotions inside her would make her ill. He stormed into work in a very bad mood. "Get out of the way!" He growled at an intern.

"Bloody Pads!" James grabbed his friend and stopped him from going any further. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Ask your fucking sister!" He shrugged James' hand off his arm in his temper, controlling his anger by not hitting James.

James grabbed Sirius and dragged him into an empty conference room. "Calm down!" He shouted at his friend. "What's happened?"

Sirius picked up a chair and threw it across the room. It crashed into the wall. "Nothing! That's just it! Absolutely nothing!" He shouted angrily. These rages were a part of his Black heritage. As much as he didn't want to admit it. He did have that trait. "She does nothing! She lies in bed and nothing! She won't even talk to me! I'm trying my best to help her!" He picked up another chair and through it at the wall.

James did not even flinch. He stood very still and watched his friend upturn the nearest table. "Sirius." He said calmly. "Listen. Go home. Go and talk to May. You're hurting just as much as she is. If you start talking, she'll start talking."

Sirius leant back against the wall. "I don't know what to say." He slid to the floor and wrapped his arms around his knees. "It was our baby!" He sobbed. His emotions were coming out now.

"Go home!" James pulled Sirius to his feet. "You tell her how you feel. She needs to hear it. It will help her. Just try it. You need to talk about it just as much as she does."

He nodded slowly and wiped his tears away with his robes. "Thanks mate. I'm going to take the rest of the week off. I need to be with May more than anything."

"You do." James nodded and placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Go home! I'll sort it with Mad-Eye." Sirius nodded and waited for James to let go of his shoulder and he disapparated home. "Mad-Eye is going to kill him. Lily's going to kill me." He muttered to himself as he left the room. He would have to do Sirius' hours and Lily was going to kill him.


Sirius apparated home. "May!" He called out and went straight to the bedroom, finding her still in bed. "Please. We need to talk." He kicked off his shoes and robes, and climbed into bed with her. "May, I know you are hurting so much. I am too. If I had come home sooner, our baby would be safe and alive right now." Tears fell down his cheeks. Unknown to him, tears fell down her cheeks. She was listening carefully. "I blame myself. I should not have gone to that meeting. You'd be safe now. You would not be hurting right now. We would have our baby girl here right now." He started sobbing. It was really hard for him to say this, but it had to be said. "Merlin! I miss her so much! I wanted us to be parents so much."

May moved. She turned to face him. "I know." She sobbed and moved closer to him. "I miss her so much. We didn't even name her. I didn't want to. I do now." She sobbed hard as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. "I want to give our baby a name."

"We will." He whispered gently, tears still running down his cheeks as he cradled her in his arms.

"It wasn't your fault." She muttered as her fingers gently rubbed his chest. "It was my fault. I got out of bed. Me being out of bed killed our baby." She sniffed as she tried not to cry, it was useless. She was soon sobbing against his chest. "It was my fault! It was my job to look after my body, which meant looking after our baby. I didn't do it! I didn't take care of myself properly."

"You did! May, you had a ruptured appendix. It wasn't your fault. I should have been home to help you." He kissed the top of her head, giving her the comfort she had rejected for the last five weeks. "Right, from now on, we're going to be there for each other. Don't hide from me. I get so worried about you." He gently stroked her back.

"I'm sorry. I was too scared to open up to you." She moved away from him slightly, to be able to look up at him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He pulled her close and gently kissed her lips softly. "Now, go shower, get dressed and we're going out for lunch." He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Ok." She smiled a little and kissed his lips softly. "But, what should we call our little girl? I want her to have a name. We should have given her a name straight away."

Sirius nodded slowly. "What name did you have in mind?" Rubbing her arm gently.

She smiled a little. "Elizabeth. After my mother." She smiled a little wider. "And then Hannah for her middle name. I was going to ask you that before Hannah died."

"Elizabeth Hannah Black." He smiled a little. "I love it." He kissed her again. "Now, go and get ready. We need to get back into a routine."


They did. The two of them returned to a routine. They visited their daughter's grave and magically engraved her name onto it. It was their closure. May returned to work in the children's ward in St Mungo's. She began her training to be a Healer and was thoroughly enjoying it, despite all the hard work. The only thing she did not like about her job, was seeing the children hurt. One boy, Adam, nearly lost his arm when Death Eaters attacked his home. It broke May's heart when she had to tell him that his mother had died and his father was missing.

She sat at the desk and read over her notes for her exams. 12 weeks. It had been 12 weeks since she had lost her daughter. The grief and pain was still there, but it did not hurt as much as it used to. She sat back in her chair and thought about what her and Sirius would be like right now, if their baby girl had lived. It would be a whole lot better. They had spoken a few nights ago about having another baby. They both agreed to wait at least a year. They wanted to be sure that they were not having another baby to replace the one they had lost. Plus, they wanted the war to be over before they had a baby in the unstable world.

"May?" A small voice came from the room behind her. This room was reserved for severely ill or injured. Adam was still recovering from his attack. "Can you read me a story? I can't sleep."

She smiled to herself as she put down her quill and stood up. "Of course." She picked up the book, she was reading to him; Peter Pan. "Right." She smiled at him and began to read to him.


Everyday after work, May would apparate straight to the edge of Godric's Hollow. She walked the short walk to the church, turning into the graveyard. In her hand, she carried a single yellow rose. She and Sirius had painted the spare bedroom yellow. They wanted it yellow for the nursery. She smiled to herself as she looked down at the rose. She remembered Sirius arguing that boys do not like yellow. But she liked the colour.

She walked further into the graveyard and to the oak tree, which stood on the edge of the area. Underneath stood a small headstone. She knelt in front of the small grave. "Hello darling." She placed the rose in the vase, that stood at the bottom of the headstone. "Had a busy day today. A few more children hurt. Some of them had lost their mum or dad." She spoke softly. This was what she did to help her with the grief. Talking. Be it, talking to Sirius or her daughter's gravestone. She talked. "Your Aunt Lily is having a baby soon. Secretly, I'm jealous. But I am completely and utterly happy for her and Jamie. I just wish I had you there too. You would have grown up with your cousin from the moment you were born. You would have gone to Hogwarts together. Hopefully been in the same house together. Probably Gryffindor." She chuckled to herself. "I best go. Daddy is cooking me dinner. He loves you so much. Our way to get used to the fact that you are gone, is to talk about you. It's working. I love you my darling. I hope Granny and Grandpa are spoiling you in the afterlife. Goodbye my love. I will see you tomorrow."


A/N: Short chapter but a vital one. Name of the next one is called: Harry James Potter! So that's a hint to what happens in the next chapter. :D Also: 6 reviews for the last chapter and I love you all! Update on this story's statistics: 77 hits for the last chapter, 61 571 hits for the entire story, 107 Favourite stories and 106 update alerts! Guys! I love you!

Warewolf-princess558750: Sorry I made you cry. :( The next chapter will cheer you up!

Forever Siriusly Sirius: Eep! Sorry! I have had it planned for a long time! :( * Hides in the corner*

Blackpetunia9444: I will say this now. I am not killing off May in this story nor in the sequel. I promise you that!

CharlotteBlackwood: I am so sorry! :( I had Lily's news revealed before the tragedy happened as I know Lily would feel guilty that she was pregnant and May had just lost her own baby.

Scarlett Angelica Potter: Sorry!

KadyEverhart: Awww! I'm glad you felt a connection with May. I hope you and your baby were all right in the end. :) Hope you liked this chapter.