Thanks for your reviews so far. I never imagined this fic would reach 50 chapters. Thanks to everyone who has followed it from day one. You're awesome!


Chapter 50: All Of Me


Stepping out of the bedroom, ready and prepared for the day ahead, whatever it may bring, Arizona stopped and listened hard. The sound of Callie's piano playing out around their home, she rolled her eyes. I can't do this right now. I really can't. Stepping back inside the bedroom, she double checked herself in the mirror, and straightened herself out. Grab your coffee, and leave for work. Pissed that she had gone to Meredith's last night and left her car, she now had to get a cab to her best friend's place before work. Because I don't already have enough to do today. Surprisingly, her head and her body felt fine after a night of binge drinking. She knew it would likely hit her later on in the day, but she couldn't think about that right now. She had a mountain of work to get through, and that was enough for one day.

Closing the bedroom door behind her, she made her way down the hall and into the kitchen. Fresh coffee attacking her senses, she poured herself a cup and leaned back against the cold marble counter. Listening intently, she took in the words of the brunette.

What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down

What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh oh

Scoffing at the worst falling from her fiancés mouth, Arizona shook her head. She didn't have time to try and dissect every lyric, and she didn't have time for Callie and her inability to speak to her about her problems. It always comes back to the music. She loved the brunettes voice, and she loved her music. It was what attracted her to Callie, but what she loved even more, was the possibility of a conversation instead of a new album dedicated to her struggles.

There were only so many times that she could try to convey her feelings before Arizona stopped listening. As harsh as it seemed, the blonde just wanted a normal conversation. No matter how heated it could get, she would rather that, than falling into the spell of Calliope Torres: Musician, and forgetting about their problems. They wouldn't go away on their own, and she thought Callie had realised that by now.

How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh oh

Scribbling down a note on a post it, Arizona set her cup down and collected her things. She couldn't be here when Callie came back inside, and she couldn't be here when she gave her the sad brown eyes that would usually turn her legs to jelly. She wasn't backing down from this one, no matter how painful it may be.

Quietly leaving the house, Arizona sat on the top step of their porch and called herself a cab. She could have taken Callie's car, but that would require speaking to her, and right now, that wasn't a part of her plans. She wasn't being stubborn, she was simply standing her ground.


Stepping inside from the decking, Callie glanced at the clock and figured she should probably wake Arizona. Her fiancé didn't like being late, and if she knew that Callie had been up for a while without waking her, it would only add another issue to their list. Wondering whether she should call out to the blonde, or knock, she stopped at the end of the hall. She desperately wanted to see her, and she desperately wanted to hold her and beg her for forgiveness. If their conversation last night was anything to go by, then she knew that wasn't likely to happen.

Deciding she would knock, Callie stepped up to their guest bedroom and rasped lightly. "Arizona? You have to be at work soon. I've made some coffee."

… Nothing.

Furrowing her brow, the brunette knocked again. "Arizona?"

Turning the handle and peeking her head inside, she found the room empty. Her stomach dropping at the thought of her fiancé actually avoiding her, she pulled the door closed and sighed. The scent of the blonde hovering around her new personal space caused a dull ache to settle throughout her body. She hates me.

Moving back into the kitchen, the brunette pulled her hair up into a messy bun and poured herself some coffee. Glancing down at the paper next to an empty coffee cup, Callie ran her thumb over the lipstick stain, and her eyes over the handwriting she was all too familiar with.

I have given my all to you. I don't need your songs, I need your words.

Knowing that Arizona had heard her playing only minutes ago meant that she had only just left. Wondering if she had taken her car, the brunette made her way to the front door and opened it. Her fiancé sat with her arms wrapped around her legs, she smiled. "Arizona?"

Without looking back, the blonde tried hard to focus on the spot in front of her. "Yeah?"

"Why are you sitting out here?"

"Waiting for my cab." Pale shoulders shrugged.

"Take my car. I don't need it." Callie suggested as she took a seat beside the blonde.

"No, my cab will be here shortly."

Taking in her fiancés profile, Callie couldn't believe how she had been so stupid. Arizona looked broken, and it was her fault. How could she ever expect her to forgive her? How could she ever expect her to just be okay with what had happened. This wasn't going away in a hurry. That she was sure of. "Will you be home tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll be late, though. I have things to catch up on from yesterday, as well as today's work and meetings." Arizona continued to stare blankly. "Don't wait up."

"Arizona, I'd really like to talk to you tonight. Please?" Callie's voice broke. "I need to talk to you tonight."

"Not sure I'll be in the mood for anything other than sleep." The blonde stated as she caught sight of her cab coming into the driveway.

"Can we at least share the same bed tonight?" Callie stopped Arizona from leaving. Placing her hand on her wrist, she tugged her back. "Please?"

Turning to meet the brunettes eyes, Arizona's face was void of any emotion. "I don't know why you would want to share a bed with someone who sleeps around. Goodbye, Calliope."

"I-I, please-" Cutting her own words off, she felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach. Those words, she never hoped to hear again.


Stepping inside Joe's bar, Callie caught sight of Meredith and made her way over. She wasn't sure what her fiancés best friend knew, but it wasn't her business. Pulling herself up on a stool, she ordered herself a coffee and rested her head on her hand.

"You really know how to put your foot in it, don't you?"

Rolling her eyes, Callie glared back at the dirty blonde. "I take it she told you then."

"Of course she told me, she's my best friend, Callie."

"Yeah, I know." The brunette spoke through gritted teeth. "You never let me forget that."

"Hey, I'm the one who has to be there for her when you fuck things up, so don't dare speak to me like that." Meredith scoffed as she shook her head. "And you can stop with the attitude you keep throwing at Arizona."

"Back off, Meredith. It's none of your business."

"Um, I can assure you, it is. When she comes to my place and drinks her weight in tequila, it becomes my business."

"So she was with you last night?" Callie's tension lessened a little.

"Don't look so surprised. She wasn't out getting laid if that's what you are thinking." The other woman laughed. "Have some respect for your fiancé and grow up."

"Yeah I'm just going to find somewhere else to sit. I'm not in the mood for you and your mouth." Callie spat as she removed herself from the bar area.

Slumping down in a chair towards the corner of the bar, she sighed and rubbed her temples. How did this get so out of hand? Closing her eyes, she thought back to when things were good. When things were normal, and happy. It was the day she returned from LA. The day her sister turned up at her front door. The day when they had last made love. It had been explosive as always, and she had never expected her body and her mind to betray her from that day on.

Glancing back at the bar, Meredith continued to glare back at her. Shaking her head, she removed herself from her seat and left. She couldn't be around protective best friends right now. She needed Arizona, and she knew she had to make things right between them.


It was a little after 10pm, and Callie was beginning to worry. Arizona hadn't yet came home from work, and although she had told her that she would be finishing late, the brunettes mind was in overdrive. Oh god, what if something has happened? What if something happened and I've left us like this? Pulling out her cell, Callie sent off a quick message.

Are you coming home tonight? Please let me know that you are okay. I love you - Callie x

Placing her cell down on the kitchen counter, Callie impatiently waited for her fiancé to reply. Worry beginning to settle in, she began pacing the floor, the words of Arizona's note playing over in her mind.

I have given my all to you. I don't need your songs, I need your words.

Hearing her car pull up, she breathed a sigh of relief. Oh, thank God. Moving towards the front door, Callie startled Arizona as she pushed the door open.

"Callie."

"Thank God you're okay." Tanned hands held a sunken face. "I thought something had happened."

"I told you I would be working late." Arizona furrowed her brow.

"I know, but it's really late." Callie sighed. "It's after ten."

"Yeah, I had a lot of work to catch up on." The blonde shrugged. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Can we talk when you have finished?"

"Callie, I-I don't know. I just want to climb into bed."

"Our bed?" A slight glimmer of hope appeared on the brunettes face.

"No." Blonde curls shook. "I'm okay in the guest room. I just want to sleep."

"But-"

"Callie, please! Not now." Arizona turned and left her fiancé standing in the doorway of the hall.

"Is it really so hard for you to be around me right now? Am I really that much of a bitch?" The brunettes voice caused the other woman to stop and turn around.

"You really want me to answer that?" The blonde raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Okay. Yeah, it's hard to be around you right now. It's hard because I don't know how to fix this. Us."

"So talk to me. Tell me how you feel. Please?"

"Callie, it's not me who needs to do the talking. I've done nothing wrong. It's you that has the problem with opening up."

"I don't. I always tell you how I feel."

"Via song! Really?" The blonde scoffed. "Your voice is amazing, it's beautiful, but I don't need it right now. What I need is for you to use your words. Communicate with me."

"Okay. I will use my words if you will sit and listen." Callie gave a nod in agreement.

"Let me shower first." Arizona turned her back and made her way into the bathroom. She did want to work things out with Callie, she really did, but she wasn't sure how much use their conversation would be. Callie would apologise and expect things to go back to normal, but Arizona couldn't do that. She couldn't because she had never felt so hurt. She couldn't bare the thought of her fiancé, the woman who she loved so deeply, accusing her of cheating.

Turning the taps, she found a little comfort in the sound of streaming water. It was calming, and right now, she could use a little peace. Allowing the water to cascade over her naked tired body, she groaned as the heat hit her shoulders. God I've been waiting for this all day. Smiling as she ran her fingers through her hair, she felt the tension of the day disappear.

She had spent time throughout the day thinking about her relationship, and she had come to the final, and only conclusion she imagined possible. She would talk to Callie, but she wouldn't help her through any of this. Whatever was going on inside her head was her business, and as much as she wanted to be the one to take her pain and her doubts away, she couldn't. Unless Callie told her what she needed from her, she couldn't help her.

She had told her on multiple occasions that she had no reason to worry, but her fiancé had still gone ahead and ruined what they have. That was on her, not Arizona. Deciding to take her shower time to pamper herself, Arizona turned up the heat to almost scalding and let her mind drift off to a place where her worries didn't matter.


An hour later, Arizona reappeared. Her hair still damp, and her skin smelling amazing, she made her way down the hall and into the kitchen. Stomach growling, she opened the refrigerator and popped her head inside. Caught off guard by the sound of Callie's voice piercing through her thoughts , she turned to face the woman who was now standing beside her.

"I made dinner. I hoped you would be home in time, but you weren't, so I saved you some."

"Um, thanks." The blonde furrowed her brow. "I only want something light. I don't feel too good right now."

"Oh." Brown eyes dropped their gaze to the milky shoulders in front of her. "Okay. I-I'll just leave you be. Dinner is there if you'd like it."

Deciding she was no longer hungry, Arizona closed the refrigerator door and turned to face the woman who was now making her way back to the couch. "So you wanted to talk?"

Eyes widening with a hopeful glint, Callie smiled. "Yeah. If you wouldn't mind."

"Okay." Arizona gave a slight nod as she pulled herself up onto a kitchen stool. The need for space still in the back of her mind. "I'm listening."

"Y-You are?" Brown eyes widened once again. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, just tell me what you have to say." Arizona shrugged. "I know we need to talk, but I'm really tired, so please, say what you need to say and we will discuss what we can."

"Okay." The brunette smiled. "So, um, first, I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you the other night. That was wrong of me."

"Yeah, it was." Blue eyes glistened. "You've never snapped at me like that. It hurt."

"I'm sorry, Arizona. I was just having a bad night. I've been having a bad few weeks. I know it isn't your fault, and I know it is my own problem, but I'm going crazy right now."

"Why? What has gotten you so unsure of us to make you feel this way? I thought we were doing great."

"We were. I just, something happened the other week and it's played on my mind ever since. Well, nothing actually happened, but in my mind it did, and it's been there ever since."

"Is this about the morning I found you down at the dock? When you were upset?"

"Yeah." Callie gave a nod in agreement. "It all started then."

"I told you there was nothing to worry about. I promised you we were going to be okay."

"I know, but it just wouldn't stop."

"What wouldn't?" Arizona furrowed her brow.

"The thoughts I started to have. Then the dreams started." Callie closed her eyes and took a breath. "Those dreams were what started all of this."

"All of what? The uncertainty? The doubt?"

"Yeah." Tanned fingers ran through dark locks. "The doubt."

"So tell me about the dreams?" The blonde encouraged her fiancé to continue. "If we are ever going to work through this, then I need to know about the dreams, Callie."

"I know, I just didn't want to bother you with them. They aren't your problem, so I tried to hide them. It was the worst thing I could have done. Look where it got me?" Callie scoffed. Arizona was an understanding person, she knew that, but Callie wasn't sure how the blonde would take to her dreams, so she had locked them away, deep inside.

"Yeah." Arizona sighed. "But if we are in this together, then I need for you to not keep things from me."

"That morning, down at the dock? Well it had been awesome. I had been thinking about how happy I was, with you. I mean the fact that Aria came back made it so much better, but all I was thinking about was you. How you made me the happiest woman in the world. Then it hit me." Callie winced at the thought. "I realised how happy I'd been with Jaida, and then it all came back to me."

"What did?" Arizona furrowed her brow.

"The way I felt when she left me." Callie sighed. It was true, she had never felt this way about anyone else before, and if the heartbreak Jaida had caused her was anything to go by, she wasn't sure she could do it again.

"Hang on, so you have started all of this, because of how she made you feel?" Arizona snapped.

"I guess so, yeah." Tanned shoulders shrugged. "I'm sorry."

Removing herself from the kitchen stool, Arizona began to pace the floor. "You have to stop comparing me to her. I'm not her, Callie."

"I know."

"I mean, is that really how you see me? Like I'm just going to fuck someone else and forget about you?"

Cringing at the choice of words the blonde used, Callie shuddered. "No, I just, I remember how I felt when she left me. I was broken, Arizona. I thought I'd never love again."

"So that makes it acceptable to treat me the way you did? That means you can speak to me like shit and expect me to be fine?"

"No. Not at all. That was wrong and unfair of me to do that to you."

"The other night when you had that dream? The same one you have been having for months…" Arizona swallowed hard and forced herself to say the words. "What was it about?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter now."

"Callie?" The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Don't lie to me."

"I just, that morning when you came to see me on the dock, I couldn't get the image of her cheating on me out of my head. Then I thought about my tour and how we would be apart for so long, and then my mind played tricks on me." Callie continued to ramble. "When I closed my eyes, I could see you cheating on me. Cheating on me with the same woman she had. Your face, it was just so, um, happy and so sure."

Blue eyes widening, Arizona laughed. "You imagined me cheating on you?"

"Yes."

Arizona stopped dead in her tracks and threw her hands up. "I don't fucking believe this."

"I'm sorry."

"No." Blonde curls shook. "No!"

"What?"

"You don't get to do that, Callie. You don't get to act like the victim just because you've been hurt before. It doesn't work like that."

"But you've never-" Callie's words were cut off.

"I've never what? Never been in a serious relationship?"

"W-well yeah." Callie shrugged.

"That's bullshit! You know why I've never worried about us? Whether I've been in a relationship or not?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you enough to trust you, Callie. I don't need to base my relationship with you on past experiences. They aren't the same. They never will be the same. So you can't do that. You can't assume that I will do what that fucking bitch did to you."

"I just, I panicked." The brunettes voice broke. "I'm scared to death of losing you."

"Yeah well I'm scared to death of what you might assume next. Do you love me, Calliope?"

Eyes widening, Callie swallowed hard. "More than anything in this world, Arizona. More than anything."

"Then why are you doing this? Why are you allowing her to get between us, once again?"

"I'm not. It's nothing to do with her. It's just me. I'm feeling a little insecure."

"But I told you! I told you weeks ago that nothing was wrong. That nothing was going to break us."

"I know."

"But still, we are here, fighting over her!" Arizona scoffed. "What she done to you? I can never take back, but that doesn't mean I'm her. Never in my life have I been so sure of a relationship, but you have fucked it up, big time. I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to any of this."

"Just don't leave me." Callie's voice was small.

"Do you have any idea how much it hurt to hear those words from you? How it felt to be accused of something like that?"

"Um, yeah. You assumed I'd slept with Claire so I know exactly what it's like."

"Woah!" Arizona brought her hands up in between their bodies. "Don't dare compare this situation to that. It was nothing like that."

"How was it different?" Callie shot back.

"How was it different?" Arizona scoffed. "Are you for real?"

"Well, I fail to see the difference. I didn't cheat, but you still didn't speak to me for three months."

"Wow! Holy shit! You know what, I'm not doing this. I'm going to bed!"

"No, you wanted to hear my words, so now you will listen."

"Callie? STOP! Before you make this worse than it already is."

"No! How is this any different to Claire?" Callie questioned. A harsh tone taking over her voice. "How, Arizona?"

Striding away, Arizona stood at the end of their hallway. Fully prepared to go to bed once her last word was out, she spun on her heel and pointed her finger at Callie. "Don't you dare suggest that this is the same thing. It's not! You told me that you didn't know if you had slept with Claire. You told me that you didn't know what happened that night. That to me said that you had. You woke up naked next to her. I mean, how can someone get so drunk to the point of them not knowing what's going on? How, Callie?"

"But I didn't." Brown eyes dropped their gaze.

Blue eyes narrowing, Arizona stated intently. "How do you know? You've only taken her word for it, once again. Can you 100% tell me that you didn't sleep with her?"

"No, well yeah." Callie sighed. "But she said we didn't, she said she was playing games."

"When you know what is going on in our relationship, feel free to come to me with the facts, but until then, don't dare insinuate that I've done something wrong. I'm not some whore who is going to mess you around and leave when it suits me. I'm your fiancé and you'd better realise that soon. Just because you don't know who you fucked from one day to the next a few months ago, doesn't give you the right to tar me with the same brush. I'm all in, Callie, I always have been. I think you need to take a good look at yourself before you start pointing the finger. It's getting boring, and I can promise you right now, I'm not going to hang around to watch it unravel around me. If you don't want this relationship, just say. Just say and I will be gone by the morning." Moving down the hallway, Arizona couldn't believe what she had heard tonight. Seemed like she was nothing more than Callie's ex in disguise. That was something that didn't sit well with her. "I'm going to bed."

"Please don't walk away, Arizona."

"I'm not. I've been working over twelve hours and I'm done. I'm done with this bullshit! Goodnight, Calliope. When you realise that I'm more than she will ever be, come see me. I don't want to discuss anymore of this with you until then."

Watching the beautiful form of Arizona disappear into a room that wasn't theirs, Callie backed up and rested her tired body against the wall. Head in her hands she began to sob. You are a fucking moron! How could you even say what Claire did was the same thing? Asshole! Callie didn't know what was going on in her life right now, but she needed to fix this. She couldn't lose Arizona and she couldn't live without what they had. It was too hard. The truth? She was comparing her relationship with Arizona to her past one. She couldn't help but do so. Every word that Arizona had given her tonight had been nothing but the truth, and she couldn't handle that. Throwing something back in the blondes face that had no relevance to their current situation, Callie knew she was in the wrong. But how do I fix this?


Thanks for reading, guys. I look forward to your reviews.

Song was 'All of Me' by John Legend.