These characters are under copyright by Hajime Isayama and/or Kodansha Comics or others. This is a work of fanfiction, for no monetary gain.
Chapter 50 – Repaying a Debt
"Well, that's a switch, isn't it? So you've got so many Scouts at the Survey Corps base, they don't have room for all of you, huh?" Garrison Lieutenant Michael Warner joked, holding the letter Commander Erwin had written. Now Armin regretted not reading it, as Mikasa had urged, but he hadn't wanted to break the seal. He hadn't wanted to risk invalidating Commander Erwin's message.
Armin remained stiffly at attention, as did Eren and Mikasa.
The man's smile soured. "Or is it that you take exception to the Olympians and Nachtwolven being there?"
"No! Of course not. They're wonderful. We have the highest regard for Captain Stephanos and Lieutenants O'Donnell and Konstantinos, and Scouts O'Leary, Melissakis, Gianapolis and the others," Armin defended.
Lieutenant Warner's expression softened. "Good."
"Doesn't it mention in the letter why we're here?" Eren challenged.
The officer snorted. "Tch. Seriously? One of Commander Erwin's letters? I thought you work for the man. 'Give the three bearers of this letter all requested assistance, including providing them with quarters, meals, writing implements and paper, the services of your most trusted courier, access to horses, and whatever else they deem necessary in the performance of their duties.' I'd ask who you were blowing to receive carte blanche like that, but you're not even old enough to shave."
"We're old enough to fucking kill Titans and assholes who underestimate us," Eren snarled.
"Eren! We're sorry, sir. He didn't mean to sound insubordinate, and definitely not at all threatening," Armin quickly apologized. "He was referring to a recent incident where a dozen criminals attacked us, whom we had to dispatch. He takes exception to not being taken seriously, and we just returned from a long journey, and medical leave, and things got complicated both for us and for the rest of the Corps, while we were away."
"I don't need you to apologize for me, Armin," Eren growled.
The man's brow was crinkling. "Wait. Eren, as in Eren Yaeger?"
Armin nodded and waited for the shock, the fear, as the man realized he had been ridiculing Yeager Titan, but it never came.
"And Armin, as in Armin Arlert? Then that means you're Mikasa Ackerman?" he asked, his voice having gone from wryly amused to reverent in moments.
"Yes," Mikasa said curtly, eying him suspiciously.
"Commander Erwin should have said so, or you should have… I'll provide anything you need. I'll have quarters prepared for you at once, in the Officers' Barracks. I think you might make some of the rest of the men a little too nervous, considering the unexplained recent reappearance of Yeager Titan. This way, we can avoid trouble before it can begin. And you just tell me what you need, and you'll have it."
Armin could see by Mikasa's face she was just as confused as he was by the sudden eagerness to aid them, and the degree of respect he was now showing them.
"The three of you saved Trost. If it wasn't for you, we'd have lost the entire middle ring, but I'm from Trost, but was stationed at Stohess, when the breach occurred. When we received word… my family was still in Trost. My father and mother and little sister. I thought… we all thought… we remembered Shiganshina. We knew we'd be too late to save them.
"I was one of the many men that arrived with Commander Pixis. We expected to find another massacre, but instead, you'd gotten the civilians out, and were holding the inner Gate of Trost against the Titans. And then you came up with that plan to plug the hole in the outer Gate, to retake the overrun portions of the City. The three of you were instrumental in saving the District. But Scout Ackerman, before that, you personally saved the life of my mother and sister.
"They were trying to flee, but there was a self-important merchant with a huge wagon plugging the inner Gate, blocking it, barring dozens of refugees from leaving. He was threatening and bribing every weak-willed soldier there. And then a Titan attacked. But you came out of nowhere, you just flew down and killed it, you came right up to that greedy bastard, riding on the back of that Titan you slew, as it fell, and you threatened to kill him, too, if he didn't move his wagon and let the civilians out. You spoke to him like the bloated leech he was. You cleared the path.
"But then, you did more. When my mother and sister were standing in awe of you, thanking you, you saluted them. Cindy couldn't stop talking about you, about how she wanted to grow up to be just like you, a Scout, how she wanted to save people.
"My father's in the Garrison too, he's one of the cannoneers on the Wall around Trost. He was one of the lucky ones: he actually managed to survive the attack. My mother… ever since my older brother died defending Shiganshina, she'd been terrified Dad would die too, that no one could stand against the Titans. My parents had started fighting with one another all the time, she kept criticizing the military, the hubris and futility of it, begging him to leave, to do something safer. Mom kept it from Cindy, she didn't want my sister to grow up afraid, though it was eating her alive, her fear. But you gave my mother hope, that day. She saw how a single soldier could make a world of difference in dozens of lives. You returned her faith in humanity, in our survival, in my survival and my father's, in spite of us being in the military.
"She hadn't spoken to me since the day I left for training for the Garrison, but after the Battle of Trost, she actually… she sought me out and apologized, and told me what happened. And she told Cindy she should follow in her father's footsteps, in both her brothers', that she should join the Garrison too, or even the Survey Corps, that she should be just like you. Mom finally realized she'd been foolish, hating the military, when it was the Titans that killed her son, our brother. You gave me my family back. Anything you need, it's yours."
Armin saw that Mikasa's expression had softened as she listened, until a faint smile actually touched her lips. "I remember them. Your sister was very brave, and they were both so sweet. I'd been so angry at that merchant. Our friends were dying, because of him, because the evacuation was taking too long. Seeing your mother and sister, their gratitude… I was able to put aside my anger and focus on the battle again. They're the ones who restored my own faith in humanity, in what I was fighting for, to protect people like them, not greedy, worthless parasites like that merchant. It was an honor, knowing I was serving them. Please tell that to them for me, would you?"
"Of course! Now let me see that you're settled, and that you have whatever you need," Lieutenant Warner said eagerly.
Armin watched Eren warily, but fortunately, he realized the man was just thankful because of what Mikasa had done for his family, that he wasn't flirting with her. The last thing they needed was for Eren to fly into another jealous rage.
0 0 0
"I don't see why you should feel guilty about what happened," Eren criticized. "The Capt… Commander… whatever, Levi totally overreacted to what we did. We were on medical leave! We shouldn't have to be at his beck and call then."
Mikasa sighed. Eren sounded so sure of himself, so indignant, as if he were the injured party. Although, in a way he was, they all were, but especially Eren. Levi had called him a traitor, when it was really the other way around. The military had betrayed Eren, by trying to kill him, actually firing a cannon at him, at all of them, and then putting Eren on trial, nearly sentencing him to death, just for existing. If Levi hadn't risked his own life to save Eren's….
Mikasa smiled sadly to herself, at the irony of that thought. Weeks ago she'd blamed Levi for nearly beating Eren to death, and now she saw his actions for what they truly were: an act of bravery. Because Eren could have turned into a Titan and crushed Levi or eaten him… not that Levi was easy to kill. But he wasn't nearly as indestructible as everyone believed, as Levi wanted, no needed everyone to believe. Because she now knew that Levi had a number of debilitating weaknesses that he'd obviously fought hard both to conceal and to overcome. And apparently, a new one now, triggered by one of his others.
She wondered how Armin was coming with his letter to Pixis. Armin was sequestered in the room he'd been given, because when they were all together, Eren hadn't stopped complaining, and Armin couldn't think while he was carrying on. She and Eren were both in Eren's room now. In officer's quarters. She looked around at the efficient but nicely appointed room. It was a far cry from the dungeon cell Eren had been incarcerated in the last time he'd upset an officer.
"… even listening to me, Mikasa?" Eren pouted.
"I'm sorry. I was distracted. What were you…?"
"You're thinking about that little prick, aren't you?" Eren accused, cutting her off before she could finish her apology. "You're always taking his side. You're my girlfriend, not his."
Mikasa narrowed her eyes. "That can be easily rectified. I don't have to be anyone's girlfriend." Her statement shocked her as much as it did Eren. She'd loved Eren since she was nine years old. She finally had what she'd always wanted. Would she really throw it away so easily?
She expected him to yell, to verbally attack her, insult her, maybe go on about how he didn't need her, that he'd only ever wanted her as a sister anyway, and she was the one who had forced them to be more. Instead, he gave her a kicked puppy look that rivaled Armin at his most adorable and most pathetic. He looked like he might actually start crying at any moment, and exactly like with Armin, her heart melted. She embraced him.
"I'm sorry, Eren. I didn't mean that. And I'm sorry I gave you reason to think Levi means more to me than you do. He's like another brother to me, like Armin, only different. Just as vulnerable, and just as strong, but in different ways. And he's all alone. Well, except for Erwin, and that's a little different, because he's his commanding officer, and Levi's so obviously in love with him, but they're not together, they might never be, and now the Commander's been injured so badly. I just… I needed to protect Levi. But when he needed me most, I wasn't there for him, and now….
"I don't think he really hates us, but he was hurt and… I think he's just running on instinct. When animals are wounded, they often bite or scratch someone if they try to aid them, because they're so terrified, and in pain. I know you can't see it, but Levi's like that. He didn't say much, just little hints here and there, but he's had a really horrible life, with some terrible betrayals, and he's very sensitive to that now. He's a lot like you, actually, angry at the world, lashing out, but also, so protective of his friends, without any thought to his own safety. And then we went into a dangerous situation voluntarily and… I know how he feels.
"When Armin told us he'd almost gone to the Capital by himself, I wanted to shake him, and lock him up, so he'd be safe. But it turned out he was safe anyway. Armin was right: Hypatia didn't really want to kill him. She protected him, protected all of us, from her men, even before Pixis intervened. And we never would have found out about Pixis, or the pit traps, or any of it, if Armin hadn't been so brave."
Mikasa sighed. "And I'm sorry, again. I started to talk about you, and talked about Levi and Armin instead. I think it's because you proved to me you're safe. You really can take care of yourself. You were eaten by a Titan, you actually died, but you didn't. You lost an arm and a leg, but you didn't. But the two of them are so fragile… so human. Not that you're not human too," she added quickly.
She sighed again. "I'm no good at talking. That's why I always let you and Armin talk instead. I know what I want to say, but it always comes out wrong. I just sound bossy, or arrogant, or cold. But Le… damn it. Levi knows what I'm going to say before I say it. And the way he looked at me, I could tell I was doing the same thing, that it was both frustrating and wonderful. He thinks the same way I do. That's really rare, to have a connection like that, with anyone, let alone a virtual stranger.
"I hope I haven't made it worse, but I probably have. I don't think I've ever heard you be this quiet for this long. I guess you must really be angry with me, afraid to say anything, because you know you'll only yell and…mpfh." She hadn't expected him to kiss her. When he did, she expected it to be desperate, frantic, a way to shut her up and prove she loved him instead. But it wasn't like that at all. It was tender and gentle and wonderful. She kissed him back, saying everything she'd been trying to vocalize in that single, silent kiss.
When they finally broke the kiss, Eren caressed her cheek. "I don't deserve you, but I'm trying to. I'm sorry I was being so jealous and possessive. I've always hated guys like that. I never used to understand why girls would put up with them. I still don't, but I'm glad you are. I'll try not to be such a jerk.
"I miss him too, you know? Having him look at me like he was, seeing respect in his eyes, instead of scorn or mockery. Having him rely on me. I could see how freaked out he was, down in that tunnel, especially when we were on the canal. I kept trying to distract him, annoying him as much as I could, so he'd forget about the bugs, so he'd be pissed off at me, instead of afraid. I hated seeing him like that, looking like he was going to shatter at any moment.
"I still don't know why they upset him so much. I mean, yeah, they're gross and dirty, but… I think something awful must have happened. Maybe as awful as what happened to my mom, you know? I know he had friends who died. Maybe his parents died too. Maybe he had siblings. I just know that, you're right, except for Erwin, he's alone. No one should be alone. I hope he forgives us. He needs to forgive us."
Eren smiled. "I love when you look at me that way. That warm, tender look you get in your eyes." His own eyes widened. "That's why I've been so jealous! It's that look. You look at him that way too now, and you've only ever looked at me and Armin that way before. I'm such an idiot! You said he's like another brother to you. Of course you'd look at him with that same softness, that warmth."
"I can't believe how mature you've become. How much more I love you," Mikasa said softly, caressing his face.
Eren got that same devilish gleam in her eyes she both dreaded and loved, because she never knew what to expect, when she saw it. "You know, that's a really big, comfortable looking bed, isn't it? Who knows when we'll have a chance to lie down in a bed like that again, after we go back to our own base? I think we should take advantage of this really great opportunity. Maybe make up for that strenuous trip we took, when we were supposed to be resting up from our traumatic, harrowing journey." He wrapped his hand around her scarf and tugged her toward the bed.
"Tch. And they say Armin's the genius in our group," she teased, as she headed for the bed with him.
0 0 0
Armin jumped at the knock on his door. He wasn't used to having a door, or a room to himself. It was kind of lonely, actually. He'd finally been able to concentrate on the letter, away from Eren, and gotten it done. He'd taken it with him to read to Eren and Mikasa, to see what they thought, but from what he heard behind Eren's closed door, he'd realized they wouldn't care for at least a few hours. He blushed again, just thinking about what he'd heard, as he headed for the door to the hall, and opened it, surprised to see a familiar face. "Lieutenant Konstantinos. What are you doing here? Is everything alright, did something happen?" he asked anxiously.
"Everything is much fine, very fine. I have message for you, and Yeager and Ackerman also, from Commander Levi. I go to try their doors first, but there is no one home in the one, and in the other… I think I had better wait, yes?" he said, grinning.
Armin blushed again. "I think that would be best. Can I read the message, though?" He wondered what Commander Levi had wanted to say to them now.
"It is not a letter to read. Is verbal only. But I can tell to you, and then to them, yes? Although the last part is for Scout Ackerman alone, I think, but he did not say you could not hear."
Now Armin was glad Eren and Mikasa weren't there. Eren might not react well to whatever Levi had said, if it was specifically for Mikasa.
"I'd like to hear it. Please, come in," he said, stepping back and waving him inside.
"I did not expect to find you in Officer's Quarters, when I come. Or to find an old friend. I did not realize Lieutenant Warner was here, in Karanese. He looks much happier, than when last I see him. I am sorry, though, I talk too much, and you should hear message. Forgive me for the cursing, it is part of the message. It is not meant for me to disrespect, yes?"
"That's fine. Please, what did Commander Levi say?" Armin asked nervously.
"Commander Levi, he says, 'You already know I suck at apologies. I make sure I never fuck up enough that I need to make them. But I'm sorry, brats. You're still Scouts. I still trust you. Mikasa, I wish I could tell you the sharper the thorns, the sweeter the fruit, but maybe you'll still be willing to scratch the shit out of your hands even if all you get is me. If you're willing to come home, we'll talk tomorrow, after I've had some fucking sleep.' That is end."
"He apologized? We can come home?" Armin asked, amazed. He was also relieved about the content of the personal message for Mikasa, that it was so innocuous, though he felt a little guilty for understanding it, too. He knew that Mikasa and Levi had thought he was asleep that night in camp, when they were speaking. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop. He was only glad she'd been able to help Levi fall asleep. Armin had never known she could sing before, and her voice had been so beautiful.
"Captain Stephanos, when he relays this message for me to give to you, he says Commander Levi is upset. He is feeling guilty that he sends you away. It takes strong man to admit when he makes mistake, yes? Especially, for an officer to say this to a subordinate. Is very special. He is good man, wonderful Commander, though I think he is eager to be Captain again. Do you have any message you would like for me to give? Or will you return right after I relay message to the others?" the Lieutenant asked.
"I'm not sure. That will depend upon how Eren and Mikasa feel. I honestly don't know whether they'll forgive him so easily," Armin said.
"I do not wish to take your time. I will go, and wait elsewhere to speak with others," the Lieutenant said.
"Um, actually, if you wouldn't mind, I could really use the company." Lieutenant Warner had provided him with two thick, blank books, in addition to the loose paper he had used for the letter. Armin had been bored and lonely, after finishing the letter, and had decided to start writing a history of the War, as he'd told Hypatia and the others he would. After the initial facts, it was going to be about The Fall of Shiganshina, and the death march of the thousands of untrained civilians who'd been sent on the impossible mission against the Titans afterwards, and the cadet training of the 104th, and the Battle for Trost, and everything after. He wanted to make sure all his friends and the others were immortalized, especially the ones who had already died. But just thinking about it all had been heart-rending.
"I know! You could start teaching me Greek!" Armin said eagerly, in sudden inspiration. "If you don't mind, I mean. I'd really like to learn. And I have paper and a pen and ink, so I can write down what you teach me, and practice it." He could use the second blank book for that.
"I would like this also," the Lieutenant said happily.
0 0 0
Eren was surprised to hear voices coming from Armin's room. Was Lieutenant Warner in with him? No, that wasn't his voice. He realized, confused, that they were speaking Greek. Where was Armin? Had something happened? He knocked on the door anxiously.
He was relieved when Armin opened the door, with a big grin on his face. "Nikolaos is teaching me Greek! Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Lieutenant Konstantinos. I forgot, I'm not supposed to call him by his given name in front of other people," he added, looking sheepish.
"Is not to worry. Is different, with Yeager and Ackerman, yes? But it looks like finally it is time for me to give message I bring. I have verbal message for you, from Commander Levi."
Levi had sent a message? Why? Were they in worse trouble?
"Please listen," Armin urged. "He sent an apology, for all of us. I listened already because you were both… busy."
Armin was blushing, and Eren realized he must have heard something from outside their door. "We'll listen," Eren said, latching onto Mikasa's hand.
Lieutenant Konstantinos smiled. "As I said to Armin, please do not be offended by the cursing and other words. Is not meant to be insult from me. Is how Commander Levi, he says to say to you. His words to you, they are, 'You already know I suck at apologies. I make sure I never fuck up enough that I need to make them. But I'm sorry, brats. You're still Scouts. I still trust you. Mikasa, I wish I could tell you the sharper the thorns, the sweeter the fruit, but maybe you'll still be willing to scratch the shit out of your hands even if all you get is me. If you're willing to come home, we'll talk tomorrow, after I've had some fucking sleep.' That is end of message."
"Thorns?" Eren asked, confused.
Mikasa's lips twitched in a smile. "He's a blackberry bush."
"What are you talking about?" Eren asked, perplexed, and trying not to get annoyed about Levi giving Mikasa a special message that he didn't understand.
Mikasa's smile widened. "Careful, Eren. You're letting your own thorns show."
Eren scowled. She looked like she was laughing at him.
Then she grew serious, and he immediately felt bad. He loved seeing her smile, she did it so seldom, but he wanted to be the one to make her smile, and lately, it seemed like Levi was the one who was able to do it, and mostly just by being a real jerk. Maybe Mikasa just really liked guys who were jerks. After all, she liked him.
As if she was reading his mind, she said fondly, "Maybe that's why I like him so much. Because he reminds me of you. It's something my father used to say, when people were so prickly that they drove everyone away, that more people would eat blackberries if the bushes didn't have so many thorns."
"She's got you there, Eren. You really are kind of like the Captain, and you definitely have thorns," Armin said happily.
"And why are you grinning like an idiot?" Eren grumbled.
"Because he called us 'brats'," Armin responded, his grin widening.
"Excuse me. I am puzzled. I had thought 'brats' is insult. Does this word not mean 'spoiled children'? Or is there another meaning I do not realize?" Konstantinos asked.
"It means that, normally, but with Captain Levi, it started out as a term of annoyance, but it's more like a term of affection now. Those of us he calls brats, it means he kind of likes us, only he doesn't want to admit it out loud. Or maybe it's just a way of distancing himself. He's an extremely complex man, much more than we realized before we traveled with him. He's completely amazing. I'd rather be called a brat by him, than a hero by the King," Armin admitted worshipfully.
Eren was a little concerned by the way Armin's eyes were shining. Lately, it was like he had a crush on the Captain. He was actually glad that Armin had been so interested in Hypatia. Levi was in love with Erwin, not Armin. Eren didn't want to see Armin get hurt.
"So, I guess we should go back?" Eren asked, a little disappointed, He'd sort of been looking forward to using that wonderful bed some more.
"Well, since Levi isn't going to be awake, or see us until tomorrow anyway, there's no reason we couldn't stay here overnight," Mikasa suggested, reading his mind again.
"Would you be able to stay too, Lieutenant, and teach me more Greek?" Armin asked eagerly.
"Costas, he would be angry if I stay away, but also, I am officer, I have duties to my men," he said, sounding wistful. "Now that I have finished delivering message to all three of you, I need to return."
"Why don't I just come back with you, then, and Eren, you can stay here with Mikasa, and come back in the morning?" Armin suggested selflessly.
"Are you sure, Armin? We could come back now," Eren said reluctantly.
"No, it's fine. I'll just give the Lieutenant our letter, and have him assign a courier, and then I'll go back to base," Armin assured him.
The last time he and Mikasa had thought about themselves like this, Armin had almost been killed by those bandits. Suddenly the bed didn't seem at all inviting anymore. And then there was Levi. "No, we'll come with you. The Cap… Commander Levi might need us. I wouldn't want to let him down again."
"OK. Then we'll all go back together," Armin said happily.
Armin's smile alone made leaving the bed behind worth it.
