DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Vampire Knight of any of its characters. All rights belong solely to Matsuri Hino.
A / N:
Hey.
So... we're finally here. At the last official chapter before the epilogue. And I'm, like, a month late, but... To be honest, I was half-procrastinating, and just half-incapable. Because it's the last official chapter, I felt some kind of sadness that closed in that I didn't really expect; I had anticipated excitement and joy and yeah, sure, some sadness, but... It got to me. And I just couldn't be happy with anything I wrote because I wanted it to be so great for you all.
To be completely honest, I'm still not sure I'm happy with where this chapter is. But I've gone over it so many times and I've made changes and edited and I don't really know... BLAH. I told myself I had a deadline; July 27 would be the day this had to go up.
It's 3:02 AM where I live, on the 27th. It's time that I wrap up editing this chapter for the 324810 time.
July 27th is Lydia's birthday, so I mean HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYDIA WOOOOOOO!
In all seriousness though, I know this is the last chapter. But I have a feeling a lot of you will be sticking around for, at the very least, the epilogue. And for that, I'm so beyond grateful, words will never be able to describe it.
It's taken 6 years to get to this point. For all those that have come, gone, stayed... I appreciate your time, your thoughts, your love and your hate and just everything that has made this story, this, and that has made me, me.
All I can ever say is thank you.
For this wait, I apologize, and for waiting, I say thank you again.
( I'll see you in the epilogue and maybe even the extras where I'm probably going to say thank you another 34562 times LOL )
And so, read on, my loves, read on!
Heterochromia.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE;
"Saviour Light"
NINE YEARS AFTER THE NIGHT OF COLOUR
[ I V Y ]
"It started as some kind of strange, twisted obsession. Out of everyone he had Changed, you, and you alone, never broke. He attempted and attempted, had made it his goal to break that spirit of yours, Tashiro Ivy, and yet… He never could. I believe it was the first time that he had ever seen someone with such stupid bull-headed strength. It was… irritating to him. Immensely so. And yet, at some point, I believe that aggravation turned into admiration." He shrugged one shoulder, his head tilted to one side contemplatively. He spoke about this with a tone of wonder, as if he found it new to him, too.
I was finding it hard to breathe. "I don't—"
"Understand?" he chuckled a little here. When his blue eyes met mine, they seemed like an ocean of unfallen tears. Why was he looking at me like that? "Neither do I, unfortunately."
My brain couldn't comprehend it. What was he saying? What did he even mean? How was something like that even possible? It had to be a lie, because out of every goddamn stupid reason that made me lose the people that I loved—that made so many scars and traumas and aching imprints along my treasured ones—it was a reason as absolutely—
To say that he lov—
What kind of—
I couldn't. Again. Again, it led back to me. Again, I was the root of so much pain and suffering even when I was trying to do good and I couldn't ever escape from this nefarious fate that I had because I was just—
I jolted awake, feeling something cool sticking to my burning forehead. I was breathing hard, my legs tangled in a mess of sheets, my pajamas sticking uncomfortably to my skin. I could hear my heartbeat thudding in my ears, in my wrist, and I had to swallow the helplessness down my throat.
"It's been awhile since you've had a nightmare like that," Al commented quietly from where he was perched on the side of my bed. His vibrant orange eyes glowed in the darkness of the night. "Are you OK?"
A big, deep breath. "Yeah. I just…" I stopped, shook my head. I touched the cooling pad he'd placed on me, and offered a smile. "Thank you for this. What are you doing still up? I thought you had knocked out two hours before I did."
His grin was crooked with melancholy. "Seems like a bad night for both of us, 'cause I couldn't get any good shut-eye either."
I let out a long exhale, as if trying to breathe out my heartache with it. I reached out to brush some of his mussed bangs out of his face. "Was it about Violet?"
He let out a small, throaty laugh. His hand came up to grab mine, and he shook his head. I didn't ask him who or what his dream was about—-this wasn't the first time he'd been unable to sleep due to the people who visit him in darkness, and usually if it wasn't Violet, it was a certain blonde vampire that we both knew and loved very, very much. Instead of saying anything, I simply held his hand tight.
It took a few moments of silence before he whispered, his voice so sad, "... I don't regret coming for you. Not even for a nanosecond. But I… I wish she would've come. That she wouldn't have tried to stop me if I'd told her. Maybe I would've at least been able to say a goodbye, been able to say something other than just—" he stopped.
"... What would you have said," I began quietly, "that wouldn't have given you away?"
He opened his mouth, let it hang for a moment, and then he smashed it closed into a grimace when he realized that there was no answer. That he knew, just as well as I did, that she would've been able to read into his odd behaviours so easily and seen right through them. She would've sent word, would've had them capture him before he left, would've stopped his journey before it even started because she couldn't lose him.
I didn't need to ask her, didn't need to read her mind. But I knew Cheryl so well, knew that she would've been so terrified of losing someone else. No matter how much she wanted to believe that I was still alive, no matter how much she would've wanted to look for me, she knew that the odds were impossible to none. That even if they found me, chances were that they wouldn't be allowed to live, that the mission would end in humiliating defeat. There was no way that she would let someone she loved so much, that she was so incredibly in love with, risk everything that could happen for them if he'd just stay.
Al didn't need to know about her deep emotions, about her intentions. He was too dense for that. But he knew she would've stopped him, and that was enough for him to have been such a stranger to her, even if it killed him inside. To know that she was hurting because of him, and even now was still hurting because of him.
I knew how that felt. Knew it so well that it was what stitched every fibre in my bones.
The words felt foreign as they crawled up my throat and fought their way out of my mouth. "It's not your fault."
Al made a sound running halfway towards a scoff, halfway towards a chuckle. It was a sound of disbelief.
I pinned him with a look, and when his expression softened out of their harsh lines, I glanced away, gently fingering the cooling pack as I did so. "... I used to think everything was my fault. Everything… always led back to me, y'know?"
His hand tightened around mine. "Ivy—"
A shake of my head, and I laughed a little softly, a little self-deprecatingly. "It's OK. I mean… I'm working on making it OK. It's a hard learning process, but… I… I can't just keep wallowing in the self-pitying thoughts that make me the victim. I realized that that, in of itself, might be a kind of selfishness. To let those kind of past thoughts haunt me, even in the present, when I have things and people in this moment I need to think about." A pause, and I looked over at him. "People have always been telling me that it isn't my fault. I think it's about time I start having enough courage to believe them, don't you agree?"
He scrutinized me carefully for a long, long moment, as if looking for something only he could see. I just stared right back, wondering if he was looking for the same thing in me that I was in him. He must've found it, because his lips slowly curled up into a little smirk. "Wise words from such a young one."
I let out something like a mix of a laugh and a scoff. "I'm not even that young anymore."
A wider grin. "We're babies in the vampiric world."
"And adults in the human one," I pointed out dryly.
He shrugged a shoulder carelessly, then peered at me with a more serious expression on his face again. When I quirked an eyebrow at him, silently questioning, he didn't hesitate. "What were you dreaming of, Ivy?"
His tone suggested that he knew it wasn't about Zero or my family, just as how I knew that his source of insomnia tonight was not Violet.
I shut my eyes, fell back into the comfort of my pillows. I could almost feel his concern prickling my skin, and my lips tilted up just slightly as I whispered, "A time in which I was still lacking this courage."
[ZERO]
Something loud thumping on his desk broke into his subconscious, and his eyes opened quickly, any trace of sleepiness gone in a flash. He hadn't even known when he'd fallen asleep, but judging from the weariness that still lingered in his mind, it clearly hadn't been particularly restful. It was also unplanned and inefficient, as he was now pushed back on his workload and had to deal with a certain tawny-haired hunter that was glaring down at him.
"If you're gonna sleep on the job, you might as well not show up," was the first remark he made. Despite the look on his face and the harshness of his words, however, there was no real bite. On the contrary, it was obvious what he was actually trying to say. Kaito wasn't as hard to read as many people thought, especially not for someone like Zero.
He straightened a little more, lifting his chin out of the palm of his hand. A second's worth of a chuckle left him as he shot back good-naturedly, "If someone wasn't so slow, I wouldn't have the time to take breaks."
A disgruntled scoff from the older man, who folded his arms across his chest. "Don't get cheeky with me."
"You're becoming more like sensei every day," he commented thoughtfully, though his voice was kept matter-of-fact. Growing up, the two of them had always been told they were becoming more and more like Yagari as they trained under him. It was the same now, too. Due to the inevitable time spent with one another, they'd begun to pick up on each other's habits and little quirks without meaning to.
Thankfully, he was conscious enough of such matters that the habits he'd picked up over the years had been minimal. He didn't particularly enjoy any of his mentor's little mannerisms—-they were almost all terrible—-but that damn habit of resting his arm along the back of chairs had snuck up on him before he'd even known it. He was always trying to catch himself before he did that, now. And that stupid habit of biting the top of his pencil or pen that Kaito's had ever since he was a kid was rubbing off on Zero, too.
To be frank, it was annoying as hell.
It wasn't as bad as Kaito, though. The bastard had taken up Yagari's unhealthy hobby of smoking. He wasn't as helpless anymore—he only smoked when he was very stressed out or feeling incredibly lost and cornered, but to have reduced his habit so much had been a pain in the ass. The amount of times Zero had wrestled those damned cigarette packs out of his hands and thrown them out the window was more than he could keep track of, and the amount of nights that he'd spent sleeping over as a watchdog to make sure Kaito didn't sneak off to buy more of that lung-killing contraption was numerous. The first time Zero had caught Kaito smoking, he'd grabbed that cigarette right out of his mouth. It'd taken all his willpower not to have punched him in the stomach, because he knew.
Kaito had never liked smoking. It reminded him too much of the father that left him—-the one that had been too busy involved in matters like cigars and liquor to have actually been a proper father. He knew that Kaito would regret it, would start to hate himself, if he ended up hooked on those damn things. Yagari should've never let him have one in the first place.
The old man was regretting it deep down inside.
But regrets did nothing to remedy the situation, hence the drastic measures. Like hell Zero would let the man that was practically his older brother surrender to something as dumb as slow-kill habits and self-destructive phantoms.
"Shut your trap," was Kaito's snarky reply. He jabbed a finger at the opened file that had appeared on his desk, and then said, "Take a good look at this tonight before you leave. It's a report from Kaien regarding the public stances on a rebuilding of the Academy."
"Summary?"
"Hard to say. Fifty-fifty, almost."
Zero's amethyst eyes pinned him with a look. "This is wishy-washy, even for you."
The thirty-one-year-old man, looking only twenty-four max, scowled. "It's too complicated to provide a proper summary, you twat. That's what the damn report is for. Read it. Understand it. Make a plan for it. Got it?"
The slightest of teasing smirks as he carefully picked up the report and brought it closer to his face. "If you're going to issue orders, you might as well be President."
"Oh hell no," was the vehement denial. It almost made Zero laugh. "Just watching you labour over this place is enough to make me exhausted. To think that I'd have to do all that shit, and have you on my ass about your private matters, is enough to make me want to die."
Before the silver-haired hunter could reply, a soft knock sounded on his door, and he uttered his welcome. The two hunters watched as the door opened slowly to reveal a certain delinquent-looking man and his older sister, who was carrying a little creature with red-tinted black hair and large gold-hazel mismatched eyes.
"I hope we're not interrupting anything," was Satoshi's greeting.
"Not at all," Zero answered. He felt something tug at his heart when the toddler made some kind of excited gurgling sound and reached her tiny hands out towards him. He stood up from his seat as Lydia approached, leaning in close to the child. She pressed both of her miniscule hands into Zero's face, her eyes bright and her smile even brighter. "Hey to you too."
"What brings you three here? Where's Gin?" Kaito asked, raising his eyebrows as he meandered over them. He tapped the baby gently on the nose with his index finger, unable to stop his expression from softening when the child giggled and grabbed onto his finger with both hands.
"Gin got stopped by Lyle on our way up; apparently it had something to do with their joint project together, so we went ahead. Yuka was getting restless. Seems like she recognizes when she's being brought to your office." There was a wry tone in Lydia's voice, like she didn't approve of the idea. He had to admit that it wasn't the ideal place to babysit a child.
"How smart," was his affectionate compliment towards the little girl. As if sensing it, Yuka clapped once and giggled again, her chubby cheeks flushed pink. Zero gently reached over to take her out of Lydia's arms, the child a light, familiar weight. He met her brilliant topaz and vivid hazel eyes, so much like her mother's and father's, for a moment before he turned back to the siblings. "Has she eaten?"
Satoshi was setting down a duffle bag full of anything he'd ever need to take care of the kid. Not that he needed any of it, considering how he kept ninety-five percent of the stuff from previous endeavours and had practically turned a quarter of his office into a playpen for this girl. "Yup. She was being a hungry grump."
"An adorable hungry grump," Lydia corrected. A bit over a year and a half had passed since she'd given birth to the treasure of her life, and she bounced back from pregnancy fast. She'd debated between going back to work or spending time at home taking care of Yuka for a while longer, and despite how strong and independent she wanted everyone to know she was, she prioritized being a good mother above all else. She didn't need to prove anything anyways—-everyone knew that kind of spitfire she was. Gin, too, had taken quite a bit of time off from work just to spend time with Yuka. He'd only recently gotten back into work, the project with Lyle the first thing he'd taken up since coming back. Zero had insisted he take more paternity leave, but apparently the flame-haired woman had claimed he was losing his edge.
For Gin, between Zero and his wife, it was clear whom he feared more.
And so that was why he was back at work, though taking it easy for sure. Everyone knew how important it was for parents to make time for their children, and despite how much love little Yuka was receiving, it was undeniable that Gin and Lydia were the ones she loved the most, Satoshi following.
Although Zero believed he was head-to-head with Trance for third-place, and he had to admit, it made him happy.
"OK, Yuka, Mama's going to go now. You'll be a good girl like always, right?" She placed a hand on the top of her head and pressed a kiss to her button nose and her two cheeks before pulling away. Lydia looked at her with so much love in her eyes, with such a motherly expression, that Zero was almost thrown off by how much softer she'd become with Yuka in her life. Although, he supposed, it really should've been expected. As if she'd stay the same after carefully nurturing another human being inside of her for nine months—and then to see her growing up, looking so much like Gin in terms of facial features and so much like her in colour scheme… it was no wonder she was so unguarded with her child.
Gin was the same way. Softer, more open somehow even though he'd never been particularly reserved in the first place. It was just a change in their overall aura—-it was warmer somehow.
But everyone knew just how fast that would change if anything, if anything at all, were to even come close to harming this girl in his arms right now.
"See you, sweetheart," Satoshi beamed, lightly knocking foreheads with her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The oldest male Tashiro smiled warmly at Zero, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. "Gin will pick her up later. Thank you for always doing this."
A shake of his head. "I was the one that offered."
"Just accept the gratitude," Lydia chided, hands on her hips. She was giving a mock-glare as she said, "I don't want to spend more time here listening to your modesty when I could be doing something much more restful."
Every week since Yuka had been around five months old, Zero had offered to take care of her for a few hours—whenever Lydia or Gin needed time off the most. He didn't know how hard it was to take care of newborns, but he sure as hell knew that it wasn't easy, if the huge bags under their eyes said anything. They needed the rest—whether it was to sleep or just to have time to themselves. So he'd offered. Satoshi, Trance, and Arashi did their part as well, but it was never a bad thing to have another person willing to lend a helping hand, and besides… Zero had a soft spot for kids. He'd just never admit it aloud.
Apparently it wasn't much of a secret though.
The breath of a laugh escaped him, and he noticed in his peripheral how Yuka turned to look at him with wide, curious eyes at the sound. "Yeah, yeah. Have a good time, Lydia."
The Urase and Tashiro both waved their hands as they left, keeping their eyes trained on the flailing child as they left. Kaito followed their footsteps, mentioning how he'd come back later and reminding him to read the report before then. The door shut behind the trio of skilled hunters, leaving him with just Urase Yuka.
His nose lightly rubbed against the toddler's as lavender eyes clashed with topaz and greenish-brown. In an affectionate, light lilt of his baritone, he murmured, "And so there were two."
The reply he got was a happy squeal and clapping hands, complete with shining eyes and rosy cheeks.
ELEVEN AND A HALF YEARS AFTER THE NIGHT OF COLOUR
[ I V Y ]
"It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
A soft breeze blew by, and I tucked the loose strands of hair behind my ear, my eyes shifting from one tombstone to the other. It was the first time in a long, long while that I'd come to this place, and it sent a deep ripple of emotion through me. The three flower bouquets that I'd brought rested in their respective places. Before arriving, I thought I'd need to make time to clean the area off, but it looked as though someone had come by within the past two weeks or so. The scent no longer lingered, but the person that visited had also cleaned off the Tashiro and Takamiya graves, and that only left a certain handful or two of people as the suspect.
Honestly, it didn't matter who'd come—the fact that someone was still visiting the graves of those that mattered to them and had taken the time to wash the graves… It was enough.
I slowly lowered myself down onto the cool concrete.
My eyes passed the name written on the tombstone in front of me, and I closed my eyes, imagining him right here with me, silver-hair pulled back and mauve eyes holding traces of impishness that was lost in his older brother. They were slightly brighter eyes that were also somehow slightly darker. A voice that spoke with less hesitation, a soul that was less and more of a tragedy from the start.
The whispers of his agreement brushed along my ears, the gentle and understanding smiles of his parents flashing through the back of my eyelids.
"I'm sorry I haven't visited," I murmured, slowly opening my eyes. "It's been a hell of a ride these past few years." That was a complete and utter understatement—the years leading up to today had been absolutely insane. I wasn't sure if it felt as if it'd been an eternity already, or if it'd just been yesterday.
"I hope you've all been doing well. It looks like you've been getting more popular over the years, huh? I'm grateful, and happy to know that; it must get lonely sometimes... Though I haven't come by in so long, I still think about you guys all the time. I wasn't alone during the past eleven and a half years, but… there was always some inkling of loneliness inside. It's hard to feel like we're not alone, even when we're surrounded by those who care so much about us. I'm sure you understand that the most, Ichiru. I don't think it'll disappear even when this situation with Shoto Seiichi ends, but… I think that with time, I'll find an answer to that void. Time helped you with yours, didn't it?"
There was a moment of silence as I turned my thoughts and words over in my head, trying to decide what I wanted to say. A small, slow inhale. "All those years ago, before I met him again after my release… I visited and told you—all of you—that I would make him happy. That after so much adversity, I would definitely give him all the great things in life that he deserves." I let out a little laugh here, the sound self-deprecating, and glanced down at my clasped hands. "I haven't really been doing an amazing job. And I'm sorry, but I'm shameless enough to ask for another chance.
"This time, I swear…" A tiny laugh escaped me again, and I smiled as I reached out to brush my fingers along the smooth, cool stone. "I'll make him happy. Happier than anyone could ever imagine. I will make him smile, and laugh, and look forward to every single morning. Though I can't promise there won't ever be hard days, I can swear that the happy ones will far outnumber those. Just watch." I stopped here, thinking back on my words, and a chuckle came forth. A small grin was tugging on my lips as I asked sheepishly, "That sounded like I was asking for his hand in marriage, didn't it?"
I could almost feel the weight of his head as he tipped it back against mine, could almost feel the warmth of his back along mine. I could imagine the way he would say, "Yeah, it really did."
"I'm getting too ahead of myself then," was my reply. "I haven't even had the time to think about something like marriage. And even after this is all over, there's so much else to do. Things we'll want to achieve, things we'll have to do… It's a little overwhelming to think about it."
"Yeah, I can see that," was his dry reply. "But, y'know, Ivy… You're saying that like it isn't part of the things you—both of you—will consider as a priority. I can't speak for my dense brother, but I don't think it's smart of you to dismiss it like you have."
Normally, I would've protested. After all, something like that just seemed like such an unreasonable priority—to put something like planning a wedding over reforming the Association or creating a path for the new world we envisioned—but I also knew that it wasn't fair to disregard its significance, either. That subject was a really slippery slope, with so many ifs and perhapses that I really couldn't say anything about it.
Especially since I hadn't even hinted such a thing to Zero ever.
And I wasn't sure when I would have the chance to.
It could happen any day now.
Something had thrown Seiichi's initial estimation off, pushing back the overheating due date for the Parent. I'd always hoped that he'd been wrong, except in the opposite sense—-that the date would come earlier, not later.
I'd been given the choice to leave, the exact date a decade had been up.
But after ten years with him… we'd been through a lot together over our little term. It was hard to walk away from something that I'd committed a decade of my life to, and had yet to see fruition. It left a terrible feeling in my stomach, in my mouth. It was like suddenly deciding to abandon a puppy that you were nursing back to health just because you realized the injury was deeper than you thought.
It didn't really work that way.
I think a part of me knew this, too. The moment I'd agreed to his proposal, I'd already resigned myself to the possibility that his estimation would be wrong, that I'd spend more time than I intended trying to carry out his cause. I'd always known that I wouldn't be able to just leave even if it took over a decade. That even if it took one more year, two, five, eight—-I would be there, waiting for the day that I could help him achieve his goal.
And strange as it was, unexpected as it was, I'd come to view Shoto Seiichi as almost… a good companion, almost a friend.
If I'd told myself eleven and a half years prior that I'd ever look at that Pureblood with anything aside from hatred and resentment, I would've raised my eyebrows and laughed. It was a bit unreal, a bit incredulous. But I was sure that Junko, Al, and Luna all felt the same way—that he wasn't really who we'd all always imagined him to be, and it was a little inevitable that we'd come to see him as someone akin to a good acquaintance.
I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when I felt the ground beneath me trembling just slightly. My head snapped over my shoulder to peer down along the lengths of this sacred place to the entryway that led to the Association. My eyes narrowed and my skin prickled, something pooling in my gut. Red alarm bells blasted through my system, my heart immediately picking up its pace in anticipation.
"I think that's your cue," was the phantom reply I got.
My hands clenched into fists, and I shut my eyes tightly. I wanted to stay here a little longer, wanted to spend a little more time with them. But I knew that it was impossible—whatever was happening at the Association, even if it wasn't the Parent acting up, I needed to go. I needed to know exactly what was happening, needed to help if I could.
Standing up in one fluid motion, I turned back to face the front of the grave. I rested my hand on it again, and started, "If I don't make it, I—"
"Shut up," was the firm, but not unkind response. I could imagine him as he sat along his own tombstone, one of his long legs stretched out in front of him, the other bent halfway. He'd be holding onto my hand, the other resting along the edge of the stone. His silver hair would be falling into his eyes, swaying with the faint breezes that swept through this space, and they would do nothing to hide the piercing intensity of his tightened lavender eyes. He'd squeeze my hand tightly as he said, "Don't say it. Don't even think it. After that stupid speech you made earlier about making him happy, you can't possibly think of something as ridiculous as goodbye."
A somewhat breathless laugh choked out of me, and the words came out in a soft murmur. "... You're right. I suppose that'd be a bit unfair of me."
"A bit? More like extremely."
I smiled gently. "... Thank you, Ichiru."
The dismissive wave of a hand.
I cast my eyes over to the two other tombstones—Ichiru had been the first person I'd decided to spend some time with, and it looked like he'd also be the last. At least for today. If ever presented the chance to come back here, I would most definitely take my time speaking with the mom and the dad of the two twins. "Mr. and Mrs. Kiriyuu… Ichiru, I'll be off."
As I turned away from them, I heard a chiming, simultaneous whisper of voices telling me to take care, and I smiled through the clog in my throat that had, for one reason or another, appeared.
Although I'd only been here using the Association pathway once before when I was much, much younger, my feet still carried me through the cobblestone path and the dark, winding crypt. It was quite chilly down here, the air more still. Most people would find going through such a large, vacant underpass as somewhat unnerving, but I never had. I'd usually spend some time inspecting the walls, taking in the details, but I didn't have the time to do that now. The ground was trembling more violently the closer I got to the Association, and there was some echoing hum in the air that penetrated deep into my bones. Along the bracelet hanging on my wrist, Rixelvelt warmed with unease and agitation.
The staircase leading up to the Association entryway appeared in front of me, large and looming. I raced up, skidding to stop just before the two double doors. My eyes narrowed as they raked over the slabs of sturdy oak and the numerous symbols that were etched along the borders of them. I realized, with belated horror, that there was more than one reason why I hadn't broken into the Association to visit the graveyard: it was because the charms that held these doors closed took far too much time for me to decode. It was possible, sure, but I wasn't very good with charms, and I hadn't invested the time to study them like I should've during these past few years. I'd focused on my historic and scientific discoveries rather than the advancement of my magic knowledge, and for the first time, I realized just how important it was to be well-rounded in a bit of everything.
If only Junko were here—she loved studying about charms and the like, and had taken a lot of time to do so throughout these years. She would surely be able to disarm these barriers in just a minute.
But it was too late to think about that now.
Inhaling deeply, I wracked my brain as I tried to decipher the symbols properly, endeavouring to find the dispelling enchantment at the same time. I was halfway through the process when there was an especially large quake, sending the entire crypt shaking. Some debris and stagnant dust fluttered free from their homes, filling up the space around me. I coughed a little as I breathed some of it in, eyebrows furrowing together as I brought a hand up to cover my mouth and nose, the other thrown out to keep me balanced. This massive tremor shot my nerves more, making me feel a sharp spike of irritation at both the wards and at myself for being inadequate with them.
Suddenly, as if hearing my silent plea for aid, I watched with wide, surprised eyes as the symbols in front of me glowed of their own accord, the light shattering once the dispelling finished. In just a few short seconds, the charms had been broken, and the doors swung open. I squinted against the sudden onslaught of light, but I didn't need to see in order to know who it was.
"Junko!" I exclaimed, somewhat breathless at how happy I was to see her.
She gave me a little smile, the gesture making her look like a saint amidst the chaos that I knew was waiting for us. "Shoto Seiichi said that you probably didn't think of the wards before rushing towards the Association."
"He knows me too well," was my dry reply. I scurried out the doors and closed them behind me, watching as she quickly redid the spells that kept our burial place safe and sacred. "So what's happening? Please update me."
"Well, Seiichi-san was right," the younger girl started, completing her task so quickly and efficiently. She turned to me, meeting my eyes with her large hazel ones, and then said, "It's happening now. The Parent is currently raging throughout the Association. She's trying to take back all the weapons that's been made in her furnace."
My eyes immediately went to her neck, where she usually kept Martyr in her restricted form hanging along a silver chain. The collar of her white shirt and her thick strands of light chestnut blocked any view of it, but she knew I was looking, because she reached up and pulled Martyr out. Relief filled me momentarily upon knowing that she wasn't left without her anti-vampire weapon—before her time with us, she hadn't necessarily been very comfortable or accepting of Martyr, and it didn't have anything to do with Martyr herself, so much as it had with weapons in general. Junko, despite possessing adequate skills, was not a fighter. Even less so than Satoshi. She used to pick up her weapon and feel some kind of horror with herself and her bladed companion, a kind of deep-rooted disgust. Her entire being just simply, innately, seemed to reject the idea of violence.
And so she never had a connection with her armament, which was rarer than you'd expect. Certain hunters held incredibly deep bonds with their weaponry, such as people like Zero, whose Bloody Rose literally fused with him in every sense, or people like Satoshi, whose Lavidette was like a mirror of his very nature. Others held an affectionate, but not overly profound relationship with their anti-vampire weapons, such as Lydia and Airless, or Omura Mana and her Spotter, and this was the standard. Most people got along well with their anti-vampire weapons—after all, they were made with the bearer in mind, but they also did have their own essences, and sometimes things could just go awry. However, usually it was just a matter of time and wanting to close the distance. That was the case with Gin and his Harvelk; they used to constantly be at odds, but as he matured and grew, so did his weapon.
Junko, however, took much longer than most to come to some modicum of understanding with her weapon. It was hard for her—for someone who was so against bloodshed and fighting to have a weapon like Martyr, whose core was rooted in battle. Even now, she wasn't happy or comfortable holding Martyr in her hands, but she no longer cringed and feared her. It was progress that she'd made by pushing herself through the years, that she'd made by trying to improve herself a little bit. It took a long time for her to reach this point in their relationship, and I didn't want Martyr to be taken from her—not when there was so much room for development. I wanted to see where they could go, wanted to see just how a connection with her weapon would change her.
Rixelvelt and I never had a bad relationship, nor a fantastic one. Although I'd neglected her during our first few years together, she knew that it wasn't of my own accord—being isolated for years and chained up wasn't my choice. She understood that, but that didn't mean she didn't feel lonely during the years that I'd never used her, and then the awkwardness and distance that I'd felt when I did. After all, even though I did love her, I didn't know how to properly work with I'd first reunited with Zero again, during that timeframe, Rixelvelt and I had tentatively been getting to know each other better, had been trying to connect better. It'd made me happy that we'd even made progress at all. The inscriptions along her shaft used to be charms that would prevent her from scorching me, but now, they were merely there for familiarity. Whether they were there or not, it didn't matter—she no longer rejected me in the slightest, no longer felt unease with me, and vice versa. It was honestly such an experience to be so connected, so invested in your weapon. It made me so much stronger in battle, so much more confident.
She was very much a part of me now, and I couldn't be happier about it. She was humming restlessly in her restricted form, and I realized that in order to fight this battle, I would have to spar with her… even if it meant there was a chance I'd lose her.
I inhaled deeply as I broke her free, feeling her form in my hands. I knew that she wasn't afraid, and that fearlessness was rooted in her belief in me. In those that would be fighting with us, because we weren't alone. We never were.
"Where's Seiichi?" I asked the younger girl, my feet beginning to move.
The hazel-eyed woman fell into step beside me. "He's waiting for everyone to focus on Kuran Kaname."
A nod of understanding, and wordlessly we hurried through the large, empty halls of the Association. A bell that I hadn't noticed before was ringing, a signalling call for all hunters within Headquarters to hunt and take down the intruder. I knew that it hadn't been Zero who'd set the alarm off—it wasn't quite his style to create such a commotion—but it worked in our favour. With all the hunters congregated in one area, we didn't have to worry about engaging in combat with any that deemed us a threat.
Some part of me had hoped that Kaname wouldn't show up today—that, after all this time and all that had happened, he'd find a purpose bright enough to keep him to this world. I wasn't sure if it was that he didn't—I'd seen the way his eyes lit up when he looked at his daughter, the way the atmosphere between all three Kurans was so warm and loving. They seemed so happy. But maybe that just wasn't enough. The years of happiness that he'd gained, perhaps he just saw them as a final gift before he completed his responsibility. He'd always been a man of duty, and I supposed it just ran so deep into his soul that, regardless of what he had to give up, he'd do it.
It made me want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he understood.
I skidded around the corner, blowing past the two stray hunters that were hurrying towards the commotion. I saw them pause and look back, but Junko and I were already gone by that time. Upon entering the West Wing of the Association, I caught a glimpse of the battlegrounds through some of the broken architecture created by the Parent's raging appendages. I saw numerous bodies gathered around, staring up at three individuals that I could literally feel the presences of. Kaname, Zero, and Shirabuki Sara—they were all there, gathered, locked in some kind of free-for-all battle that I couldn't make out. If I stretched my senses enough, I could feel a rapidly approaching one: Yuuki's.
A curling limb from the furnace shot out in front of me from below, nearly stabbing me straight through, and I barely managed to dodge it. It made the ground unsteady, and I jumped away, not realizing that the infrastructure was already beginning to crumble. It gave away just a few seconds after I'd evacuated the space, and I blinked down at the hole it left, only to feel my breath catch in my throat.
We'd been two floors above the Association prison, and the collapsed floor created a domino effect on the levels below. Through the debris that clouded the air, piercing through the dust like lasers, were eyes that were so like mine.
He was much thinner than I remembered, but it somehow made him look even more threatening than before. The gauntness of face only served to emphasize strong, sharp facial features, and made his eyes even fiercer somehow. His lankiness, so different from the overly-muscular grandfather that I'd always known, made him seem like a deceptive stranger with horrifyingly mad ideas. He was in fairly decent clothing, and despite looking thinner and less burly, he didn't look as though he'd been treated badly. He wasn't covered in grime, nor was he so skinny that he looked to be starved—I knew he was being treated fairly as a prisoner.
The initial reaction was automatic—my body locked into place, my blood freezing in my veins, my heart stopping and yet racing at the same time. But this time, as if proving to me that these past eleven years had made a difference in me, as if proving to me that I was different, that I was stronger because of my past actions, my body calmed itself into a steady, steady drum. Fear didn't etch itself into every heartbeat, horror no longer captured my breath, and I no longer wanted to run and hide away from him forever.
He blinked at me, recognition clear in those eyes, and his lips pulled up into that same infuriating smirk.
"Ivy-chan?" Junko called.
I didn't even look at her. "You go on ahead. I've got something I need to do."
"Wait, but Ivy-chan—"
It was too late, because I had already jumped down that hole. My feet touched the rubble lightly, my landing nearly too quiet to be possible, and I stared at the man that had made so many mistakes in his life, that had done so many wrongs hoping that he would fix something that he would never be able to fix. The man who'd lost everything, and gained nothing—but only because he couldn't see all that was in front of him to be gained.
Iwao was shackled to his cell, the manacles heavy along his wrists and ankles. He couldn't leave this place, even if he wanted to. Even if the ceiling collapsed down on him, he wouldn't be able to get away. He didn't look afraid, though. He simply looked expectant, waiting. He looked as nonchalant as he always did, as cold. Like death was nothing to him, an acquaintance that everyone avoided and yet he could handle straight-on.
"... If it isn't Kaori." His voice was the same as always, if not more gravelly. It carried the same mocking cadence as always. "You look almost exactly the same as when I last saw you. You truly are one of those monstrosities."
I didn't reply for a moment. I merely blinked at him, then asked softly, "Do you miss her?"
Although I hadn't been around when it'd happened, the year that I visited after the incident, my siblings explained the situation to me. Tashiro Glenda had passed away from symptoms that came along with her incredibly intense withdrawal. With all the medical support that they could've offered, they had done all they could to help her. But for years, she'd been so heavily medicated, so constantly medicated, that they theorized even if she was able to successfully wean off the drugs, the realization of what she'd done while on them would break her sanity. Apparently, ever since the death of my father—and her son—she'd been taking those drugs as a way to ease her pain, to numb that chronic heartbreak. And it just got worse and worse, and Iwao kept giving her more and more, and it was just a huge mess. Her entire system was just too dependent on it. Even cutting her off a little set her body haywire, and despite all the caution that they took with her situation, she still ended up dying.
When I found out, I couldn't help but wonder… If Glenda had been conscious, if she had been fully aware, how different would things be? All that she'd done, all the terrors that she'd committed, did she even know she'd done them? A part of me wished that she didn't—that, if anything, at least she was spared the mental and emotional anguish of carrying the consequences of actions she didn't fully have control over, and yet another part of me wanted her to feel it. To feel it, and to know that her choice to depend so much on these drugs to take her pain away in the first place led to something like becoming the puppet for the monster her husband had become.
I couldn't help but wonder if he began to use her like that because he no longer saw his wife in her.
Deep, deep down inside, it was impossible not to feel some kind of sympathy for my grandparents, and my grandfather specifically. In a way, not only had he lost his son, but he'd also begun to start losing his wife at the same time, all the while missing a part of himself. After all, him marrying Glenda… I didn't know if he did it out of love or simply to have heirs with a good lineage to complement the Tashiro one, but there must've been something there.
I needed to know that he could still feel something.
His expression tightened, and his eyes flashed with something that somehow made him human still, even if all he ever was… was a monster. "Kill me. That's what you came to do, isn't it?"
An inhale. That was the million dollar question half the time. It was what everyone always asked me, what everyone wanted to know. Will you kill him? And anyone else would've been able to give their answer in a heartbeat, would've been able to perform the deciding deed without an ounce of hesitation.
It was a bit harder for me.
My eyes fell from his to glance around the room, taking note of our surroundings. There were a few smaller holes in the ceiling where the building had started breaking apart, and just a few feet away, there was a larger breach in infrastructure. A glint in the rubble caught my eye, and I made my way over, digging through and pulling out a sword. It wasn't the same as the one he used, but it would have to do.
I made my way back over to him, aware of his eyes following my every move. I eyed his chains, and closed my eyes, concentrating on the correct enchantments that I needed to undo his bindings. I messed up twice, which was frustrating considering he snorted his laughter the second time, and then I was cutting those chains loose. I threw him the sword, watched as he caught it and turned it over in his hands. When he glanced over at me, I didn't even blink.
He didn't waste any time with pleasantries. He saw the opportunity I was giving him, and he wasn't going to wait around to see if I'd take it back. Instead, he charged at me, sword in his hand, his face set in that fierce way that it was when he fought a tough opponent, and I almost felt pride that he regarded me in such a way.
Instead, what I really felt was remorse that I was even so truly regarded as an enemy.
Up, down, side-step, side-step, pivot, duck. Evading his blows wasn't hard at all, and I felt no fear in me at facing the man that I'd always been so afraid of. This man that inflicted upon me so many wounds, that had crafted so many traumas in me, that had redesigned my body with scars that would never fully vanish, was a man that I could now so easily read through. Admittedly, he had spent many years in this cell, wasting away with his own twisted thoughts for company, not able to properly train his body the way he was so used to doing. While on the other hand, I spent my years doing exactly that—training my mind and my body through expanding my knowledge, through finessing my skills and building my connection with Rixelvelt. He'd had myriads of years of experience more than me, but the past eleven and a half had given me so much more than anyone could even imagine.
A slight tilt of the head as I dodged his strike, and I grabbed his arm before he could retreat. My foot blocked his when it shot out to trip me down, and I pivoted to avoid the elbow he threw at me. I predicted his movements, put my memory of everything he'd taught me to the test, and I knew it frustrated him that I could read him so well.
In one swift movement, I had knocked him down onto the floor, a foot on his good wrist, the curve of Rixelvelt pressed to his neck. Every tentative breath he took, trying not to gasp and trying not to pant, brought him closer to the sharp edge of my scythe. And still, looking up at me as I loomed over him, his eyes didn't show terror, nor did they show despair.
He stared up at me as cold and as detached as he always did.
"... I'm not a kid anymore," I told him quietly.
Iwao remained silent, unblinking. Not agreeing nor disagreeing.
My foot moved, and I pulled Rixelvelt away. I didn't flinch as another appendage of the Parent shot out from the ground, aimed straight at me. I deflected it with Rixelvelt, not giving it a chance to grab onto her. There wasn't much time left. "One more chance."
"I do not require your pity chances," was what he spat at me as he pushed himself up again.
I shook my head solemnly. "Believe me when I say it isn't for you."
It was for me. Because I needed to know, needed to be sure, of who this man in front of me was.
A scoff from him, but then he was clutching at the sword again, his muscles tensing as he prepared himself. And then he was coming at me again, and I was parrying him blow for blow, making sure to fend off the Parent's random interferences as well. I let him use every move he had, gave him chances to utilize all his tricks, and I bested him in all of them. I knew exactly when to pivot to evade his attacks, knew exactly how to position myself so that he just missed me. I could see the exertion showing on his face, see the strain that he was putting onto himself as he struggled to push himself harder.
We broke apart from a stalemate, our feet sliding along the shaking, unstable ground. A brief moment of terse silence, where his controlled pants were all that surrounded us, and then we were running right at each other, our eyes never once leaving one another's. At the last second, he faked his intention to strike, but I saw through that. My head cocked to the side, my body shifting just slightly, and my hand found what it was looking for.
In just the blink of an eye, a short dagger pierced through his heart.
"... I was wondering," he began slowly, "why you were fighting me with your anti-vampire weapon."
I closed my eyes, feeling something tugging at my heartstrings at what I'd just done. I took in a breath, exhaled a bit shakily. My next words were just an agonized, whispered truth. "I wish I didn't have to kill you."
For the longest time, I thought that I wouldn't have to. Every time someone asked me that question, asked me if I would kill them, I wouldn't ever be able to give a straight answer. I didn't know what the right thing to do was—a part of me wanted to kill them just as much as a part of me didn't. A part of me, a very strong part me, wanted to believe that there could and that there would be justice found even if I didn't erase them from this earth.
In reality, I simply didn't want to have the responsibility; I wanted to run away from it.
Mostly, deep down inside, I just didn't want to be considered as a murderer.
And it wasn't as if I had suddenly come to the realization of what was right or wrong, but I knew myself better now. These past eleven and a half years had brought a lot to light—I had learned plenty from the people I'd met over this time, had gleaned plethoras of knowledge from all that I'd seen. I'd grown over the years, had developed in ways that I hadn't even known I'd been so lacking in.
I realized that sometimes, doing the right thing didn't necessarily make you the good guy. Just as how sometimes being a good guy didn't always mean you made all the right choices. Life wasn't as black and white as that, wasn't as fair. It was something that Shoto Seiichi, both sides of him, would frequently call me naive about. This concept of concrete fairness, it was something that could only exist in perfect worlds that we, unfortunately, didn't have.
I wanted that, though. That fairness. I strived for it. Naive, according to him, once again. But it wasn't the same, because I learned to be as fair as I could, given the hands that I'd been dealt. I learned that sometimes, even if things didn't go the way you wanted them to, that didn't necessarily make it unfair. That, sometimes, you'd have to do things you didn't want if you wanted to be fair.
Life was always such a complicated act.
He barked out a laugh, one that he choked on as blood began to claw its way up his throat. "Even to the end, you are far too softhearted."
And because I didn't know how to reply to that, I just shook my head. I felt his tensed body slowly begin to relax, began to slump. His blood had gushed out of his wound and over my hands, staining them once again, the crimson dampening the cuffs of my sleeves and dripping to the ground. I didn't feel any sort of satisfaction, didn't feel any kind of happiness in what I'd done. Instead, I simply felt as if I'd finally, finally finished something that I was supposed to have ended a long time ago.
Deep inside, a part of me mourned that I'd lost my grandfather, despite all that he'd done. Deep inside, a part of me mourned that I'd lost a piece of me by doing this. However, more than anything, I felt OK. I didn't feel as though I had killed a part of myself, I didn't feel deep, paralyzing regret, didn't feel like I'd drown in sorrow again.
I wouldn't revert back to my past.
"I hope," I murmured, my eyes closing, "that you're able to find peace. Eventually."
He remained silent. I felt the ghost of fingers in my hair, the phantoms of arms hovering around me, but that was all they were. Ghosts and phantoms, and I heard his trailing breath breathe out two names—names that had meant the world to him—-and it was his last one. The last of his life drained out of him, and I breathed in deeply at the conclusion of this part of my story. I pulled the dagger out of him, swinging it roughly down once to clear it of the blood, and then I tucked it back into the thigh holster I had.
Slowly, carefully, I laid my grandfather down onto a spot clear of any debris and blood, rearranging his body in a position that was hopefully more comfortable or appropriate. His eyes were still cracked open, and I slid them shut, not wanting to see them when they turned grey.
For a moment, I just stood there, staring at the man that had caused so many of my loved ones so much pain, and then I turned away. I would be back to bury his body properly later, but for now, there were other matters that were more pressing.
I jumped up, getting back on the level that I'd initially been on, and continued making my way to the heart of the Association, where the furnace was. The Parent was making things incredibly difficult for me as she tried to take Rixelvelt away. Her appendages were faster, stronger, and more persistent. They chased me relentlessly, and I scowled when I dodged just a little too late, the sharp edge grazing along my arm. I tugged hard when one of them latched onto Rixelvelt, taking out another dagger and slashing through the limb that had grabbed onto her.
Before another one could grab at us, I picked up my pace, jetting through the various little openings that were presented to me. When I skidded along the corner, nearly tripping as I did so, I had to jump back a few feet to avoid being caught in the spear of the Parent that had pierced straight through Shirabuki Sara and had sent her spiralling up to the sky. Her long, wavy blonde tresses shimmered in the moonlight, and trailing behind her like her beautiful gown. For a second, I'd seen her wide, surprised eyes, and for a moment I was in stunned disbelief that she was going to die.
I didn't wait to see her shatter.
My feet carried me faster and faster towards the furnace. I raced up the winding staircases, my heart pounding in my ears because for some reason I was worried about what was going to happen, and I burst into the room with wide eyes.
Standing there, right in front of the dancing flames within the giant furnace, was Shoto Seiichi. He was staring into that flickering fire as if he was entranced, the lights creating shadows across his sharp, angular features. The hood of his long overcoat was down, his hair as perfect as it always was. There was something so private, something that seemed so sacred about this moment, that I immediately averted my eyes.
A presence behind me, and a low, velvety voice made me freeze. "Shoto Seiichi. It's you again."
Slowly, Seiichi dragged his eyes away from the fire. At first, they met mine, and then they lifted to meet the eyes of the person that had interrupted him. "Kuran Kaname. I am making your acquaintance once more."
"And again, it is unwanted," was the dry reply.
"Then this will be the last time," Seiichi murmured. The air was crackling with tension, the atmosphere so heavy. This moment right here, right now, was more meaningful than people could possibly understand. For the two Purebloods with me right now, this moment was what was going to shape their future.
"Her successor… is me," was Kaname's dark declaration, and the moment I felt him shifting to attack, my reaction was automatic. I whirled around, my hand shooting out to grab onto him. I was nearly left breathless upon seeing the look that had etched itself into his eyes, was nearly brought to tears by it. He stared down at me and asked, "Don't you understand, Tashiro Ivy?"
I pressed my lips together tight, shook my head even though I did. I did. I stared straight into those sad, sad eyes of his and hoped that he could find light in mine. For some reason, my voice was raw."You're not going to do this. I can't let you. I won't."
"And so how will you stop me?" It was some kind of challenge, some kind of bait. A part of me wondered if Kaname would ever truly try and kill me in a battle, wondered if I could ever fight him to death, too. Would either of us ever die in the others' hand? Our bond was a strange one, one that I doubted we'd ever be able to put into words, but it was as volatile as the sea, as unpredictable as storms.
It threw me off that he was here, because although we'd known it was a possibility, it was a small one. He should've been too preoccupied with the Parent's rage, with Sara, with Zero, with the chaos of the hunters, with Yuuki. He wasn't supposed to have made it here as fast as he had, but he was.
He was here, and he was looking down at me with that unreadable look on his face, and for some reason it made me want to cry for him. For a moment, I was sure he saw what I saw—that the reflection of himself in my irises gave him a new mirror, but it was gone as fast as it came. I felt the muscles in the forearm I was holding down tense, felt his entire body mien shift, and I moved on instinct for battle. But before he could attack, before he could harness those terrifying abilities of his, the sound of flesh being broken through was heard, and I whirled around with wide, wide eyes just in time to see Seiichi rip his own heart out and toss it into the furnace. The flames in there roared, a gust of heavy, hot wind erupting from the mouth, almost searing my skin. The sound of its eruption was loud, but I heard a soft whimper from somewhere above us, and it sprung me into action.
"Wait, wait, wait," I whispered, feeling too many things all at once as I watched him fall to his knees in front of the fire that he seemed to hold so much reverence. I looked at Kaname for just a second, seeing him narrow his eyes and yet remain unmoving, and then I was rushing up to where Seiichi was. I couldn't describe the way I felt as emotion and emotion crashed down on me, thought after thought racing through my mind.
This was happening too fast, even though I'd known about this outcome for the past eleven and a half years. This wasn't the way this entire scenario was supposed to play out.
"Wait." I dropped to my knees beside him, and grabbed onto his shoulders when he began to sway. "I didn't get to say goodbye yet. I—"
"You do not need to say goodbye," he interrupted quietly, turning to face me. He blinked when he saw the look of distress on my face, his eyebrows scrunching together just slightly. His lips lifted, and he let out the breath of a chuckle. "What are you so upset for?"
"I—" I couldn't find the right words, because how was I supposed to tell him that even though I thought I'd hate him with every fibre of my being, the past eleven and a half years with him had taught me he was so much more than just a vicious Pureblood? That, whether anyone believed it or not, he taught me so many things and gave me so many things? That more than words could ever express, I was beyond grateful for all the times he'd had my back during the times I needed it, that I was so thankful for all he'd ever done to help me with my research and goals and that he didn't think I knew it, but I knew everything he did for me—for us—behind the scenes? That even though I'd thought of myself as being bound to him by some kind of unwritten contract at first, that wasn't the case now?
I didn't know how or when, but at some point I'd realized that he wasn't my enemy. That, really, for the longest time, he hadn't been.
Being with him for over a decade made it impossible to simply dismiss this.
"You…" I inhaled sharply, exhaled shakily. My voice wavered. "You aren't a bad person. It would've been great… if the world knew that. Seiichi, thank you. For these eleven and a half years, you—" And then his hand was closing over my mouth, cutting me off.
"Listen," he ordered. His voice was getting quieter, weaker. "I informed you four and a half years ago…. The reason for which you are his favourite. I told you that I did not understand, nor agree, with his sentiments whatsoever. However, that is not entirely true." He paused, breathed, met my eyes squarely. "Why do they call you 'Ivy?'"
Its randomness caught me off guard for a second, the confusion written clear along my features, but I answered quickly anyway. "When I was a child, I frequently wandered off. The original Tashiro household had many gardens and many forests nearby… and I would always get myself tangled in English Ivy. I gravitated towards those vines and those leaves, apparently. Even though I couldn't get myself out, people always told me they found me laughing and smiling, and every time they said the word 'Ivy,' it made me smile. So they started saying it when I was being grumpy or insolent, and then it just… turned into what they called me."
He let out a noncommittal hum for a moment, and then let out another little chuckle. "What a coincidence." He reached out, ran his fingers through my hair for just a second. "Did you know… that English Ivy grows at incredibly fast rates? They climb so high… and are known to be binding. They perform rapid takeovers of their environments. Somehow… I believe that suits you perfectly." A pause, and then he murmured, "Tashiro Ivy… I believe I have come to understand exactly where his sentiments come from."
"What are you saying?" I whispered, because he couldn't. He couldn't. Shoto Seiichi—the side of him that was showing himself right now, this side of him—the reason why he wanted to do this in the first place, it was due to his feelings for the Kuran Pureblood he'd just seen. All of this, even if he didn't say it, was for the man that he held a secret love for. He probably thought nobody knew, but there was a way that his eyes glinted whenever Kaname was spoken about, a certain change in his posture whenever he was mentioned. It took me years to notice it, but I did.
He was making this sacrifice so that Kaname didn't have to, because he'd come to the conclusion that the Kuran King had a better purpose in life, had to live on to find a happier one.
So what was he even—
As if sensing my panic and bewilderment, he shook his head. "I understand where and how… but it is not the same. You… have given me as much as I have given you. More than anything…" he trailed off, his body turning more and more limp, more and more cold, "You need to continue shining, Tashiro Ivy. Because you are light… even in the darkest dark. It was truly… a pleasure… to know you."
He was blurring, and I grabbed onto his hand tight, and I tried to breathe through the barricade in my throat. The words that left me were choked out, more sincere than he would ever know. "... Likewise. Goodbye, Shoto Seiichi. Thank you."
And then he froze over, his lips tilted in a way that said he was content, and then he shattered into those beautiful diamond shards, breaking apart into the wind, breaking apart in my hands. It was almost funny how such a sad occurrence, how something that was meant to be so incredibly depressing, created such a beautiful scene. The light from the furnace caught onto the shards and sent splashes of rainbow colour along the dull walls, as if reminding us that at the end of the storm was something beautiful, and I closed my eyes, feeling the tears trail down my cheeks.
A hand touched my shoulder, and another grabbed my hand, and I opened my eyes to look over at both Al and Junko. The former had wet lashes and a remorseful face, while the latter still had tears streaming down from her eyes. She was probably the one to feel this loss the most—she spent more time with Seiichi than any of us. I reached out for her, bringing her to me, and felt her grabbing at my clothes as she buried her face into the crook of my neck.
The exotic-eyed hunter in front of me ruffled my hair, and I grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze as a sign of comfort. He met my eyes for a moment, and then jerked his head over to the side. I followed the motion until I realized that Kaname was no longer standing alone—Yuuki was there, arms wrapped tight around him, clearly relieved. And there, just off to the side, was a certain silver-haired hunter.
His mauve eyes met mine, and I felt something warm and overwhelming surging up inside of me. He looked every bit the same as the last time I'd seen him, and yet also so different. He'd matured again, had grown in ways that I didn't know, and yet couldn't wait to discover. He was every bit the same person I had fallen so in love with, and yet there was so much more to fall in love with now, and the realization that I could—that I now had the time and the opportunity and the chance to discover the new universes inside of him—
The realization brought me to new tears.
And then Junko was easing herself off of me, falling to her knees where shards of diamonds were, her small and gentle hands collecting fragment after fragment of him as tear after tear fell, as whimpers followed after every sob. It was a doomed love from even before her beginning, and she'd known it more clearly than she knew her name, but that didn't mean it was any less painful, any less heartbreaking.
Al crouched beside her, throwing an arm around her shaking shoulders. He looked back at me for a second, shook his head, told me to go. For just a few thudding heartbeats, all I could do was stand there and stare at him, then I slowly, oh-so-slowly, turned back to Zero. I wondered if this could really be happening, because something like this had seemed so far away, so much like a fantasy, and to know that this was actually real was too much.
But then he moved, taking a step closer to me, and suddenly I found myself sailing through the air. I was racing towards him before my feet even touched the ground, and he met me halfway, our bodies crashing together so hard that the room spun. Or maybe that was just because of the delirium that had taken over me. I didn't know, and I didn't care, because I fit into his arms just as perfectly as I used to, and he smelt so like Zero, so much like home.
In that moment, I regained the piece of myself that I'd left with him, and I pressed my face further into his neck, hugged at him tighter, because this was it. "Zero," I breathed.
"... Ivy," he murmured into my hair. He crushed me to him for a moment, and then he pulled away just far enough to tuck my hair behind my ears, to meet my eyes. His lavender eyes said so, so much, and one of his hands came up to cradle my cheek. His thumb brushed away the old tear-tracks, swiped away at the newfound ones. Softly, his lips just barely missing mine, voice somewhat hoarse, he whispered, "Welcome home."
And I laughed breathlessly, trying so hard not to burst into sobs. I had lost someone again and gained someone again, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry because I was sad or because I was happy. My hand came up to shadow over his, and I leaned forward to softly press my lips against his. The action, so quick and so chaste, sent an electrifying shock through my body, set life to fire in my veins. When I pulled away, resting back onto my heels, he was following me, keeping me close. He was all I could see in that moment, and I was smiling through my tears, through the ache, as I finally, finally let myself say the words that I hadn't uttered for the past eleven and a half years.
"I'm home."
This time for sure, I would achieve what I never thought I'd deserve, what I never thought I'd have a real chance at. This time for sure, I would grasp and hold onto and make mine what I was taught, from so many people, I was deserving of.
Happiness that lasted.
SEVENTEEN YEARS AFTER THE NIGHT OF COLOUR
[ZERO]
He fell back onto the large, neatly-made bed, one arm thrown over his face. His tie was loosened, and he'd unbuttoned that suffocating collar the moment he could. He felt exhausted, but in a strangely good way. He didn't realize it before, back when he didn't have it, but celebrating with loved ones was… incredibly nice. The atmosphere was so warm, the entire environment just so welcoming and bright and happy—it sucked him in, even if he didn't think it would.
The alcohol he'd consumed probably helped.
Zero didn't drink often—not because he was inept or had a weak tolerance, but simply out of preference. The taste wasn't particularly to his pallet, especially due to the emphasis that being a vampire gave him, and the amount he needed to actually feel the sky-flying effects was simply too much. Not only that, but the loss of control upon reaching that stage wasn't something he was fond of—the idea of it was, to be quite honest, very displeasing. More of a turn-off than an incentive, if anything. But Arashi had been so excited and so insistent, the twenty-four-year-old now at the age in which he enjoyed such things like drinking, and Zero had always had a soft spot for him.
It was a little impossible to say no.
"You OK?" was the soft murmur at his ear as her warmth fell along the length of him, her fingers slightly brushing at his hair. He breathed her in, cracked open his eyes. He was met with the brilliance of her gold and green mismatched ones, was captured by them again, and his hands naturally came to rest along her waist. She smiled at him teasingly, and he traced the shape of it with his eyes. "Don't tell me you drank too much."
He scoffed a little, shook his head. "I'm not Arashi."
The youngest Tashiro had been in the care of Satoshi when he and Ivy had been leaving, the older man still looking like he was just twenty-four. It was fascinating to Zero—he'd known it was the case with Kaien, who still also retained his physical appearance, but he hadn't been able to witness it properly firsthand. To witness the way some hunters, with that overabundance of vampiric DNA, was able to simply stop aging. Or, at the very least, slow it down to an unbelievably slow speed. But he'd watched both Lydia and Satoshi stay the same, had watched Trance grow and then stop, and the same would happen with Arashi.
Although he would never admit it aloud, he was secretly happy that he would have them in his life for a long, long time.
She laughed at that, and he didn't realize how much he'd missed the sound. "I think he won't be drinking again for another little while." She tucked some of her hair behind her ear, and then murmured, "You didn't have to go to the party. I know they tire you."
Another small shake of the head, and his hand slid up to tangle in her silky hair. His words were spoken quietly, sincerely. "It was nice to see the entire family together."
Not to mention the fact that Yuka, Lydia and Gin's daughter, now ten-years-old, had constantly been badgering him to attend. Even at that age, she'd gathered an understanding of his nature to avoid things like huge gatherings, and she'd been pleading with him to go. With her wide doe eyes, holding the gold-hazel heterochromia and that puppy-dog look that she could've only perfected with Gin's guidance, it was impossible to say no. Besides, Ryouta, now four, had also turned his eyes onto the silver-haired hunter, and anyone who could say no to that little boy must essentially be heartless.
"It's going to get bigger again," she commented thoughtfully. Her eyes were so bright with the thought. "I can't wait until Kiele is born. Lettie's due sometime soon."
He nodded, recalling exactly just how close the estimated arrival date was. The blonde beauty had been glowing tonight, but it was nothing new. Ever since she'd been a child, she had a certain glow to her. Trance, more than anyone, grew in that light. It had come as a huge surprise when the younger man had told Zero of his intentions to propose to the blonde, not because of the length of their dating duration, but because he could hardly believe Trance had gathered the guts to perform such a huge act.
Trance had been nervous, even if he didn't say it, that Lettie would say no. As if she hadn't alreadybeen waiting for him to propose for the past two years before he'd done it.
They'd been married for three years already, believe it or not. Sometimes, the lavender-eyed hunter would still catch Lettie accidentally introducing herself as, "Sawyer Lettie" and then hastily correcting herself with a bashful blush to, "Tashiro Lettie." Al and Cheryl teased her about it more often than one would believe, even though everyone agreed that once those two got married, the princess-like vampire would surely do the same thing. This was, of course, a secret consensus.
After all, one was too stubborn to confess first, and the other was simply too dense to her feelings. Nobody was really quite sure how long it would take the two of them to finally realize that they'd end up together, but all they could hope for was that it would be within their lifetimes. Nao grumbled all the time about the two of them being idiots, whereas Junko seemed to try her matchmaking tactics on them with no real avail.
He brought himself back to the conversation at hand. "You'll spoil her."
A sheepish smile. "What can I say? I love my nieces and nephews. I'll actually be able to be here during their baby years…" she trailed off, remembering how she'd missed helping raise Yuka as a baby, and even Ryou. "I'm so happy to be home again," she whispered.
"Mm…" was his noncommittal reply. He cradled the back of her head with his hand, guided her tantalizing lips to his. He melded them together, feeling that familiar fire rushing through his veins, and between breaths, he told her, "Welcome home."
Because, unbelievably, she'd been absent from his side for the past three years. After just two and a half years of absolute selfishness in which he'd had her all to himself, after two and a half years of waking up with her by his side and falling asleep with her in his arms, she'd gone again.
After all, Tashiro Ivy had made an incredible name for herself over the decade that she'd left.
The moment that Association branches overseas had heard of her coming back, now fully functioning without the threat of Pureblood manipulation, they'd been requesting her. Pushing for her. They desperately wanted her, frantically tried to get her. She'd done incredible things for the Association during her decade away, and that didn't stop. She carried all that she'd learned with her and brought it into their Headquarters here, with him, and she helped him begin the building blocks for a reformed Association in ways that he couldn't even begin to describe.
She was every bit as amazing and breathtaking as he'd always known, and it was just that other people began to see the light that he'd always seen.
It took a lot of thinking, a lot of discussion. There were a lot of hard nights for everyone—it felt too much like losing her again, and for her, like losing them again. And yet she knew exactly what was wrong with those branches, knew exactly what she needed to do. They called for her, needed her help, and honestly, she would not be Tashiro Ivy if she hadn't gone.
And so she did.
And so once again, she showed the world that she was so strong, and so independent, and just as capable as she was beautiful.
The amount of pride he had in her was infinite.
Yet, despite the advancement in technology that allowed them to see one another through computer and phone screens, despite the constant calls and the way they'd fly to one another for holidays, it wasn't the same. He'd had two and a half years with her fully, with her by his side every day, and it spoiled him. It made him greedy, because he was no longer completely satisfied with just those brief days with her.
He remembered oh-so-clearly the short time he'd had with her, when he'd start the day with her brilliant warmth and her smile and her eyes, when sometimes she'd try to make breakfast for him as a surprise and even though it wasn't all that great, he ate it all anyway just because. He remembered the days he'd come home and the smell of her desserts would automatically let him know what kind of day she'd had—anything chocolatey was good, and donuts meant terrible—-and days where she'd be working in his office even though she had her own, curled up along one of his loveseats as she read through her documents or worked on a project. The nights where he'd pick her up from wherever, and they'd wander hand-in-hand along the silent, empty streets like the night was solely theirs, just talking about anything and everything were etched into his memory, and so were the nights where her night terrors—so very rare now—would sneak by and make an unexpected visit, and he'd wake up to her shaking hands grabbing at him, and he'd pull her to him closer and hope that he was the comfort she sought. He could recall so clearly the way she'd get up on her tip-toes, her hands on his chest as she kissed him in the morning and sent him off to work during the days that they had different places to be, and the way she would burst through their front door and rush at him when she discovered he'd accomplished something he'd been working on.
She was engraved into his very soul, was seared into his very being, and his heart ached when she was gone.
That didn't mean he'd ever stop her from doing all those wonderful things she'd done, but a part of him hated it. Hated how she had to do all that so far away from him.
Really, he just wanted her with him always, selfish as that was.
Even tonight, despite how he'd had an eye on her all night, had been listening to all her stories, heard all her answers regarding her adventure, he felt like she'd been too far away. He'd wanted to be the first one to hear those stories, the first to celebrate her achievements, the first to see her smile as she gave her answers. There had been enough people at the party to have had basically asked her everything there was to know, and yet Zero felt as if the biggest question was missing.
It was something he'd never be able to ask aloud, would be the end of him if he did.
He wanted to know just how much she'd missed him, just how much she thought of him.
Their lips disconnected, and he used this opportunity to roll them over and pin her under him, ignoring her surprised little squeal and laugh. He looked down at her, clearly not having seen enough of her despite having his eyes glued to her all throughout the night. Something about his gaze made her flush delicately, and he couldn't help himself as he leaned down and pressed his lips along her exposed neck.
"I thought you wanted to sleep?" Her voice was breathless, and it made his lips tug into the smallest of smirks.
He dragged his lips up to her ear and murmured, "No, not tonight, Kaori."
She shuddered against him, not from fear, but from the thrill that shot through her, a thrill that was mirrored in his own system, and her small hands were smoothing over his shoulders, down his chest. She pressed a wet kiss to his neck, and then one on his lips, and then she was sliding up and out of the cage that was his arms, rolling away when she could. She was laughing as she met his little glare, so unaware of how much he missed her. "Can we please shower first, though?"
A sigh escaped him, because he knew she'd been on that damned plane for so long, and apparently Yuka had insisted they pick her up right when she landed so they'd head straight for the surprise party the little ten-year-old had helped plan. She probably did feel unbearably uncomfortable and gross, but he didn't see or think that way about her. It was actually somewhat infuriating, he thought, how she was always able to be so… tempting.
Though he didn't care, he knew that she really did, and that was enough of a reason.
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and then rolled his neck back in resignation. "I'll call Sato—"
But then she was tugging at his tie, shaking her head as she began walking backwards to the large bathroom connected to their master bedroom. His feet followed after her, his hands automatically grabbing at her hips. Her dimpled smile was so deceptively sweet, her eyes holding that playfully mischievous glint as they met his. "You don't want to take one with me?"
He stared at her for a heavy moment, letting her feel the heat of his gaze and nearly smirking a little when he felt the hairs on the back of her arms rise. Then the way he practically shoved her against the bathroom door with his body, fire between them, and kissed her senseless was more than an answer. It was a promise of the delirium that would consume them tonight.
Finally, finally, his heart was able to find peace again in the comfort of the home that only she could ever be.
It was moments with her, any moments with her, that he realized he'd caught and been blessed with something that he hadn't ever known he'd find.
Something that only she would ever be able to give him.
Happiness that lasted.
It would never be too bright for them.
A / N: Holy shit, can you believe it's the end of the last chapter?
Lord have mercy.
I hope I didn't disappoint any of you too badly, and that this chapter was decent enough to be considered a non-tragic end. There are so many things I want to say, but I don't think I could ever say it all, but I just... Wow. Thank you, everyone. Thank you again and again and again.
Finally. It's been a long, long journey.
And yet it's not really even the end because there's still an epilogue and like 6 extras to look forward to, if you're willing to wait HNNG.
LOTS OF LOVE AND THANKS TO;
lizyeh2000, Kalmaegi, LMarie99, Andysteve1311, Krislyngera, AndrianaWarrior7, Tokine8696, spiralcats, slacker4life, FlowerGirl21, Innocent Anime Girl, Sosu, Teru, Sora, Guest, Charlene171990, potatoqueen, Rad1anceU, and Meatball-nii
Thank you guys so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I really appreciate it!
And to everyone who favourited and alerted, thank you as well (:
Alright, and because this chapter would be way too long and I'd take another million years to do my usual replies, please forgive me—I'm just going to do the Q&A session and leave it at that. However, I'll resume my usual replies for the epilogue ( for those who will still stick around ) and during the extras. I hope you guys understand, and know that I read and appreciate every single comment you guys leave for me. I wouldn't have made it this far without you guys, really. Thank you.
Q: Is there a back-story for the Tashiro's heterochromia?
A: It isn't explicitly explained in the story, but it's got something to go with being that strange hybrid that the Tashiro clan became after one of their ancestors mated with a Pureblood. All Tashiros that came after that had the vampire blood in their system would inherit a gold eye—it was the Pureblood's eye colour. It was just something that went on in their body chemistry, something that happened on deep levels that nobody really understood, almost like a curse. Because they would never be able to get away from what those two had done; it was an ancient reminder of what had been and it was unapologetic.
After finding out about the reason for their eyes, Ivy felt like it was a blatant show of how hunters and vampires can get along. Sometimes people find it mocking and repulsive, but some others see it as some kind of long-forgotten hope, and that's what the eyes are meant to do. The two colours, meant to show both sides of a story.
Q: What sparked the characterization of Ivy? What inspired her personality?
A: I feel like I mentioned it before, but maybe I'm dreaming it up, but... What sparked the characterization of Ivy was actually Rixelvelt. As in, I was in French class and I had finished my quiz early, and I was thinking about all kinds of cool weapons in anime, which led me to Yuuki's scythe, which then made me come up with my own scythe. Then, of course, a scythe needs a wielder, and ta-da! That's how I was like, "Wow I should make someone to use this scythe" and since I was writing Shitsuren, my immediate thought was to have her belong to the VK universe.
As for what inspired her personality... This is actually something I wondered how many of you would call me out on. Because, I mean, not just her personality, but even her looks and Rixelvelt—doesn't she seem like some kind of mirror of Yuuki? The red-brown hair? The scythe? Their physiques are similar, their self-sacrificing attitude similar, their fondness for both Zero and Kaname... Similar. And if you've ever thought so, you're absolutely right. I made Ivy on the basis of all the what could have beens. Ivy is everything that I had hoped Yuuki would be and never came to be. Ivy is the character that I imagined Yuuki could've been if she'd been given the justice I felt like she deserved. If the canon VK had just been written differently... Ivy is everything belonging to what could have been. I created her with this intention fully in mind. None of the similarities you see in them, and also all the differences you see in them, are not coincidental. All of it was crafted with a purpose to show everyone how they're alike... and how at the same time, they're so, so different.
Of course, having her be the reflection of Yuuki wasn't enough. So there are differences in their characters, their personalities, their mannerisms and whatnot, but the foundation of Ivy's personality came from that.
From all the what could have beens.
And shit, I'm so hella proud of what has become of it all.
Q: Would Ivy give Zero up to Yuuki if she knew how much the Pureblood would suffer after losing Kaname?
A:Well, in Heterochromia, she doesn't lose Kaname, soooo~ (;
But in all seriousness, let's say hypothetically that a scenario like that occurred. Would Ivy give up on Zero for Yuuki?
The answer: no. This question was asked after chapter 39, where Zevy became official, and so Ivy would never let Zero go knowing that he was in love with her. And if we're saying they've never confessed, the answer would still be no. Because she can't give up on him. She's tried, she tried all the time, but she never could get him out of her soul. He's always going to be there. If she still had any delusions that Zero was in love with Yuuki, maybe she'd let him comfort her for a while, but there's only so much that Ivy can stand before she sees how toxic their relationship is. And when she realizes it, there's no way she'd stand for it.
Q: Can we have a masterlist of all their birthdays?
A: I'm unsure of who exactly you want on the list, but I'll add everyone that I think you guys wanna know (:
Satoshi – January 13
Sora – January 17
Al – February 9
Kenta – February 14
Trance – March 16
Junko – April 4
Arashi – May 5
Lydia – July 27
Lettie – August 30
Ivy – September 21
Gin – October 8
Cheryl – October 21
Daiki – November 23
Nao – December 28
Those are the birthdays I'll give you... for now. I mean, I'm sure there's more to come, right? (; And those will be revealed when we cross that bridge HAHA.
Q: Were the grandparents on the Tashiro siblings' mother's side ( Krystal's side ) chill?
A: They weren't. I know that sounds horrible, but they were very strict, serious, and upstanding. They upheld the law to a T, and were like model hunters and citizens. It's why Krystal grew up pretty strict on the siblings, too. Despite her delicate looks, she was actually pretty cold, and didn't really have much empathy.
Q: Who did Lydia and Satoshi really look up to when they were kids?
A: Kaien. Because while they had always wanted approval from their less-than-loving parents and they had some blind, innate love for them, the person that they admired the most was Kaien. He was a legend, had made himself a legend by cutting down foe after foe, and yet... He was so kind. And so warm. And he took the time to understand others. He cared.
For Lydia and Satoshi, when they met Kaien for the first time and realized that being strong didn't mean you had to be ruthless and cold all the time, that you could be both strong in battle and mind and kind at heart... it shook them to the core. It's what made them into who they are now, and not what their parents wanted them to be. From their first meeting, Kaien had shown them what their parents were: the complete opposite of who they wanted to be. And the people who they never wanted their younger siblings to grow up to be.
Q: Would you be able to write a few oneshots or something like that from Trance's POV?
A: ... Is that something you guys want? LOL
Q: Is Aidou completely in love with Ivy?
A: HAHAHAHHA, I think a lot of people were wondering this at some point, and the answer is no! He isn't. He loves her ( he'll never admit it ) as a comrade, as a close friend, as a sister even, but not in a romantic way. It's just that Aidou's never been close to anyone outside of the Kaname faction; and the fact that Ivy got under his armour makes him feel so uncomfortable and defensive. It's never happened before, and he doesn't know how to deal with it, and it's all awkward and he hates it. A lot. So he denies it and acts ( unconvincingly ) that he hates her.
Then he gets over it throughout the years. LMAO
Q: Could Solemn!Seiichi control when Sadistic!Seiichi came out? Because if the latter's intent was to kill Ivy, what would stop him from attempting again?
A: Nope, there was no controlling when one or the other would take over! It was always random, because trust, if either of them could control when the other came out... well, I don't think it would go over very well.
The thing about Sadistic!Seiichi is that he didn't actually want to kill Ivy. He's in love with her, right? The reason why he tried to kill her at first is because he didn't want Solemn!Seiichi to get to her—he knew that if the two of them had a chance to talk, Ivy would be bound to him in some way, and he didn't want that. Because if she was going to be around all the time, it would be torture for him. He hated the thought. He didn't want her around, even if he loved her, because she was annoying and frustrating and downright infuriating to him. She soiled all his plans, and he knew that if she and Solemn!Seiichi teamed up, whatever his other side was planning, he'd achieve it.
And he knew what Solemn!Seiichi wanted. Of course he did. He didn't want it to happen, either. He didn't see eye-to-eye with him, and he wanted to ruin his only hope of completing the plan, which meant killing Ivy before she knew what he intended. But he couldn't kill her. I think it was mentioned how, like, Solemn!Seiichi took over right before Sadistic!Seiichi was about to kill her, but remember that this is in Ivy's POV, and that isn't exactly true. Sadistic!Seiichi wouldn't have killed her. Couldn't have.
Not exactly because he loved her, but because he wondered if she'd finally break being captured and held prisoner. Because a part of him, some very deep and subconscious part, wanted to know what it was like to be with her and not have to try and break her. It was two warring parts inside of him, and... It's hard to explain, because he's very complicated in more ways than one, but yeah. He wouldn't have done it.
Q: What about Satoshi's love interest? What kind of person is she?
A: AHEM, well... Her name is Allaryce Zielke. She has long, faint auburn curls and true grey eyes. She has sun-kissed skin and a slight splatter of freckles across her nose and cheeks. She's tall, born on December 24, and is one-of-a-kind... in more ways than one. She's just a tad bit clumsy, a lot painfully oblivious, and horribly honest. The most common words people use to describe her when forced to are, "unique" and "weird, but in a good way" and "um..."
She's so great. Honestly, I love Allaryce even though I haven't written anything with her in it yet LMAO. I hope that you guys will like her and find her a good match for our incredibly beloved Satoshi when the time comes.
( AKA we're gonna have an extra solely based on Satoshi, so like a SatoshixOC oneshoOHMYGOD WHAT KIND OF SPOILERS DID I JUST— (; )
Stay tuned, you Satoshi fangirls, stay tuned.
Q: Do Zero and Ivy get their happy ending?
A: Judging from the end of this chapter, I'm inclined to say... yes, yes they do LOL.
Q: Can you make a SeiichixOC fanfiction?
A: I'm so sorry, but... no.
... For obvious reasons. HNNG.
Q: How did you come up with all the Tashiro siblings and EX5? Were they people you interact constantly with or other fictional characters that inspired their personality traits?
A: To be honest, I didn't really realize I did this until it was too late, but... When it came to creating the T-sibs and EX5, I had just tried for a balanced dynamic. I strive for moderation and balance in real life ( but like LMAO it doesn't work out so hot ) and I sorta transferred that into my writing without meaning to. So, like, in both groups, there's that really reckless and bold one ( Lydia, Cheryl ), the cold one ( Trance, Nao ), the soft one ( Satoshi, Junko ) and the charming one ( Arashi, Al ), with Ivy balancing them all out. Of course, all these characters are very different in various ways, but like, the foundation of what I wanted their characters to be like were... very similar? I built them on similar grounds, and although I love them all to death, I'm going to try not to fall into the same trap next time around HAHA.
I don't think anyone inspired any of the characters I made; they just kind of write and develop themselves. I don't know if that actually makes sense to people, but like... After I get the general gist of a character down, when I start to write, it's like they're alive. Half the time, I don't expect a chapter to go this way or that, it just happens in the natural writing process. As in, for example... A secret between anyone who reads this and me: Junko wasn't actually meant to fall in love with Seiichi, it just sorta happened. Oops? And you know when Ivy was still unconscious after they all rescued her from The Silent Room, when Yagari, Kaito, and Zero were talking about her while they sat in her room? They mentioned she'd raise hell upon finding out about Kaname and Yuuki's marriage, and she was supposed to. But when she woke up and I was writing her, she wasn't... mad? Like, I couldn't make her anger fit. There was supposed to be some epic battle scene between Kaname, Yuuki, Zero, and Ivy, where the two males are about to beat the shit out of each other while Yuuki was held back and suddenly Ivy sweeps in like some kinda badass hero, but that scene obviously didn't happen because after Ivy woke up and everyone got used to having her around again, it just... they didn't let that scene happen, y'know? No matter how much I wanted to write it.
Q: What was the most challenging aspect of writing Heterochromia over 6 years?
A: Honestly, it was keeping the spark and flame alive. I'm sure everyone's had a moment of creativity, a moment where you're just... swept away with this incredible idea you've had and you're so excited to get it started and it's like you're burning and burning. But you can only burn so long before you've burnt out, y'know? And between school, work, friends, all the other stuff, I couldn't finish Heterochromia before my flame began to die out.
So it was really just trying to keep it alive, to keep inspiration coming, to keep myself interested and invested in the story and its characters. Having people reading my work and telling me they loved it, hearing people telling me they were waiting for my next update... it all helped. So much. Because I hate letting people down, and so I strove even harder to keep that fire burning. Must've worked HAHA. So thank you to everyone who's ever spent the time reading this work of mine.
Q: At what point in the VK series did you decide you had to write your own version of Zero's love story?
A: I'm really sorry, but I actually can't remember at what point in the story it was. Whenever Heterochromia was actually published, it was probably two weeks before that? I think that was when the idea took some kind of actual form in my head and I thought it could be possible. It was something that always lingered in my mind because I started disliking Yuuki pretty early on in the series, but I never considered taking any action to make a ZeroxOC story until that time.
Q: What are the Tashiro siblings' favourite animals?
A: Lydia – lions
Satoshi – giraffes
Ivy - deer
Trance – Arctic foxes
Arashi – red pandas
Please don't ask me why LOL
Q: What will you miss most about writing Heterochromia once all the extras and possible drabble series wrap up?
A: Is it a bad answer if I say... everything? Because it's true, I'll miss everything about it so much. If it all ends, it means I won't write about them and share it all with everyone. I'll miss all the characters, all their antics, getting frustrated when a scene isn't going the way I imaged, all the character development and the fleshing-out of OCs... I'll miss it all. And I'll miss everyone who's been so supportive and wonderful to me, too.
6+ years if a very long time. It'll leave a hollow ache for so long, but I'll never forget any of this. Even if it all wraps up, everything will keep living inside of me as part of me, y'know?
Q: Will we ever find out what happened between Zero and Yuuki in that clearing?
A: Oh, god. LOL. OK so if you've been reading all my responses ( in which case, MAD PROPS ) then you'll have read about how some scenes just never go as planned.
I had planned for that to be revealed in chapter 51, What the Heart Wants. Zero and Ivy were actually supposed to have talked about it, followed by some kind of faint memories, but.. it didn't happen. Because somehow, it just didn't fit. They'll talk about it eventually between themselves, but... the moment that was created there ( which, by the way, I also hadn't actually planned LOL oops ) didn't give room for talk about that moment. If I start up a drabble series, I might put it in there, though? But for now, it's up to your imagination, and I'M SO SORRY because I said it'd be revealed, and I seriously intended for it to be... but then the moment passed and now I can't put it in there HNNG.
Q: How did Ivy know that Zero was in love with Yuuki?
A: Have you seen the way he acts around her? My god. LOL. It's been mentioned, but Tashiros are usually very perceptive of their surroundings and people who come across their paths are usually peeled apart with just a glance. For Ivy, reading into Zero's actions—even though it had been years since they'd met—had been as saying his name. She watched him, and just from her observations, she could tell.
But OK, who didn't know that Zero was in love with Yuuki in the VK universe? Like, actually? HAHAHA.
Q: What was with Aidou's reaction when Ivy wanted him to call her by her nickname?
A: It was sorta answered in a question above! It's simply because he's never made close friends or felt affection for anyone outside of the original Kaname faction, and Ivy had gotten past his walls and squirmed her way into his heart before he even knew it. He loved her, but wasn't in love with her, and the knowledge made him super uncomfortable. He didn't want to love her; so he pretended ( unsuccessfully ) to hate her. He kept her at a distance, because he didn't want her to get any closer.
Clearly it didn't work LMAO
Q: What made you want to write a ZeroxOC story? Was it during or after reading the VK series?
A: My anger. LOOOOL. That sounds really bad, but like... I was just so pissed with the way things were going with canon VK that I was like "screw it, I'm making a story of my own where everything gets done with some modicum of justice for the characters" and so ta-da!
I think that when I published Heterochromia, VK was still on-going, no? ;O
Q: How tall is Ivy? Is she Yuuki's height?
A: At the start of the series, Ivy's 5'1 or 155 cm. By the end of this chapter, she's grown to be close to, but not yet at 5'4" or 162 cm.
Q: When will Ivy meet Zero's favourite horse, Lily? Will she see her in the future?
A: Ahhhh, another one of those scenes that was supposed to happen but didn't... HAHA. Let's just say that I actually wrote out an excerpt where she did meet Lily, but it never made it into the actual storyline. But she's actually already met Lily, back when she was actually attending the Academy.
If I ever start that drabble series, it's possible I'll include the moment they first met and a possible future interaction! (:
Q: Why exactly did Shoto take Ivy? How does she, the research, and all of it tie in together?
A: Solemn!Seiichi took Ivy because he knew that she would be the only way to stop Sadistic!Seiichi from ruining everything regarding the plan on becoming the new Parent. Her research and all that didn't actually do anything for either sides of Seiichi—they were solely for her own benefit, for her own desires. They kept her there, and that was there Solemn!Seiichi wanted her. Because he knew, better than the other side of him knew, that Sadistic!Seiichi wouldn't be able to resist trying to be with her. It's honestly very complicated because it's hard to describe the way he feels—it's kind of twisted, kind of horrific, and yet kind of sympathy-earning, you know? He swept into her life, took a shit on it, and then continued to smear it along the road she walked on. He ruined her before he fell in love with her. And so what was could he do? When he loved someone that he'd screwed over, when he knew there would never be a chance that she'd love him back?
He took his risks, and he decided he'd just imagine. Being close to her let him imagine, even if he hated imagining. IT'S TOO HARD TO EXPLAIN AHHH
Ivy spent her time doing two different kinds of research: one directed on her Tashiro lineage and the history behind their clan, and then another one with the purpose of finding a way to stop Level Ds from falling to Level Es (:
Q: So Cheryl has visuals that match her personality?
A: On surface levels, yes. But like most people, Cheryl is a complicated person, and there are many things that she feels and thinks that can't be put into a physical manifestation.
Q: Will we see who the rest of EX5 will be paired with?
A: I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. They might make an appearance in the extras, or be mentioned, but there's no guarantee for that. It's more likely if a drabble series happens. But I mean, I'm sure y'all know that Al and Cheryl get together eventually HNNG
Q: When did Zero know he was in love with Ivy?
A: In chapter 39, Juliette. His love for Ivy developed slowly but surely; they were each other's first love, y'know? Since they were kids. Even if they didn't really know what that emotion was back then.
But in Juliette, the moment she turned on that fountain and looked at him with tears in her eyes and spouting words he only half-heard, he realized it so clearly. Like, the full force of all his emotions and realizations hit him and cleared his head. It was a moment where everything came into such sharp, sharp focus and it sent him reeling. Before then, even though he picked up on the signs, he denied it with everything he could muster. He didn't want to believe it, didn't want those feelings of his to be true. He tried to destroy them, to muffle them, drown them out, but... When he saw her crying over her love for him, when he realized that she was in pain for loving him because she thought it was a doomed love... It all rushed at him and he couldn't do anything but take it.
Q: Will you write about the kids Zevy will have?
A: Who said they would have kids? LOL
Jokes. Tune in for the epilogue, love (;
Q: Will we ever find out about what happened to Violet and her past with Kaito?
A: There isn't any secret to Violet and Kaito, not really? I mean, they met as hunters in their childhood. She fell in love with him. He was dense. She died before she could confess, before they could be anything.
But I mean there might be a KaitoxO—stay tuned for news in the extras HAHAHA.
Holy smokes, that's the end of the Q&A session; I feel like that was longer than my usual chapters LOL. I hope that you guys had all your questions answered, and I hope that it brings some closure to y'all! (:
QUESTION: What's your favourite line, scene, chapter and / or chapter title for Heterochromia? Did anything stick out to you particularly strongly?
I would love to know, so please share with me your thoughts! Honestly, there are too many lines and scenes for me, but I have specific titles I really enjoy. In no particular order, I love Catching Sunlight, The Way Back Home, Diamond Dust, and What the Heart Wants. To be honest, Saviour Light, the title for this last chapter, is also one that I particularly like for some reason.
There's still some more to go, so for those of you who will stay until the very, very end... I'll see you in the epilogue and the extras that follow! For those of you who are fine with this and have reached closure, thank you for all your time and your love and support and just everything. I don't want to get sentimental too many times because there should be a limit to that HAHA.
I hope you guys are well, and I hope to speak with many of you again soon!
XOXO,
-EverlastingxSong-
