Jasper's POV

"Jasper, can I ask you a question?" Bella asked me.

"Of course you can."

"Are you sure about going back to work, maybe now's your chance to change your course. I have money. Why not leave your life behind and start afresh."

"Why would you say that, Bella?" I asked as I sat down on the couch next to her.

"I've never thought you were suited to that job, I just think there's something better out there for you, Jasper."

Something better? Like what? I liked helping people.

"I like helping people, Bella."

"I know you do, Jay, but that's not a reason to do something that you hate."

Did I hate being a therapist? I thought hard about it, sure it was tedious at times, but I enjoyed it. I liked my patients, I liked helping them and hearing about their triumphs.

"I like my job, I really do. Maybe it isn't the best suited job for me, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that I enjoy it and I do, I really do, Bella."

"Jasper, a part of me is afraid that you're just doing this job as retribution for your past."

"What about my past, Bella?"

"The fight club," Bella answered strongly, never breaking eye contact. "I think you're trying to give back what you took."

Fuck, when did she become the therapist? She was right of course, but that wasn't the whole reason.

"It's true and that's what started me on this path, but I'm still here, Bella, there's something else tying me to this job now, not just my past."

"Can you tell me about it?" Bella asked and I wondered if she only brought up this conversation so that she could ask me about the fight club.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, taking my eyes off her.

I knew we would have to hash out my past one day, but I secretly hoped that day would never come. I had never talked to anyone about this, the only person who knew what went on was Peter and that was only because he was there for some of it, but he didn't know everything, no one did.

"Tell me about it, all of it."

Well that was simple. I decided to go for the most important and probably the most shocking piece of information first.

"It was my fight club," I admitted, breathing out. "I started it up, it was mine." I didn't want to look at Bella, but I did. I expected her to be shocked, but she just looked normal. "Why doesn't this news surprise you?"

"I already knew." How the fuck did she know? I'm not even sure Peter knew it was mine. "Rose let it slip."

Rose? Rose! She knew, oh god she knew more than I thought she did. I tried to protect Rose from it all, she was only fourteen at the time, but I had failed. How did she know?

"Jasper?" Bella asked carefully.

"Huh?" I replied, snapping out of my thoughts.

"Your fight club, tell me about it."

"You're not disgusted in me."

"What for?"

"For starting up a fight club to fight for money?"

"No, Jasper, you were clearly in pain and trust me when I say that I know what that does to a person. I mean, look who you're talking to."

Okay, I guess I just confess it all then.

"My girlfriend Maria died and she was the catalyst. She was killed in a car accident... She was all I had, Bella. Rose was too young, my parents never understood me, it was just me and Maria, so when she died I felt so alone. I got in a fight at school and that's when I realized that pain was good. The pain made me feel alive and the adrenalin from the fight was so exhilarating. It made my dead heart beat once more. I kept on getting into fights at school, but it wasn't enough and the consequences were never good. I knew I needed to find another way.

"I kind of stumbled onto the idea of the fight club. I was in a bar in Port Angeles when I angered some guy named Demetri. He was smaller than me, but a skilled fighter. We got forced outside and a crowd formed around us. I still remember the moment as clear as if it were yesterday. We were fighting and people were watching. Someone yelled out that they would put one hundred dollars on me to win, but of course nothing happened, they were just drunken guys watching a brawl, but it sparked the idea.

"I stopped fighting and let the idea fester in my mind. I had some money saved up and I was able to rent an abandoned building in downtown Port Angeles. It didn't need much, it had nothing at all actually. The hardest part was getting the people to come in. I approached Demetri when everything was set up and told him I would pay him one hundred dollars to fight me and he would get an extra two hundred if he won. He quickly agreed. Our first fight and there was only ten guys present, if that, and they didn't bet. I won, but I was still out one hundred dollars. Demetri seemed keen to go again so the following Friday night we did it again and this time we had fifteen spectators. This was the trend for a while until word got out.

"Three months later I had three guys and we had at least fifty spectators. Demetri stayed for a little while, but he ended up leaving and I let him. The more guys that joined, the less I had to fight. I was running it all, taking the bets, keeping track of everything, it was tough, but it kept my mind occupied. Five months in and this scrappy kid came to me begging to fight. He claimed he needed money for his sick mother. I didn't want to hire him, but he was too persistent. I ended up giving him a go and I put him with our smallest fighter, Alec. Alec was young, but he was tough. I wasn't sure how the kid would go, but I would give him one chance. I remember watching the fight and I was so amazed. The scrappy kid was so resourceful. He thought ahead and used his surroundings to help him. I knew that with time he would become just as good as me, if not better, and I wanted to train him myself. He won that night and I asked his name, his name was Peter.

"From that day on I took Peter under my wing and trained him up. I always fixed the matches so that he was up against the easier opponents, not that it ever mattered. I had a feeling he would best all of my guys. One night every one of my guys called in sick and it was only Peter and me. I couldn't call off the night, there was too much money riding on it. I told Peter we would have to fight each other and he was so ecstatic. I was confused because I didn't want to fight him at all, but he told me that it would be good because we would finally find out who was stronger. I won. I even went easy on him, much to his frustrations, but I couldn't let him win. I had to be the strongest, I needed everyone to be afraid of me and they were.

"Peter always told me that he was only in it for the money and that was the truth because the moment his mom passed away he was out and I didn't see him again for a long while. I thought he was dead, we were such good friends and he just vanished. I didn't think much on it at the time, but I had always told Peter that I was stuck, that there was no way out of the club for me. I meant it to be harmless, I just didn't want him to know that I ran the club and that I put myself through all of this willingly, that I put him through all of this. He came back months later and he had cash, I don't know how he got it. He told me he was here to save me. I remember him promising me that if I ran with him that he would help me deal with any fallout. Even then I still couldn't tell him that it was my club. He told me to run with him and I did. I left the club and I never looked back.

"No one had ever sacrificed themselves for me before. Peter was a good friend. We escaped to Seattle and I used some of the money I had made to rent a small apartment and invested the rest. Peter told me of his dream to go to college and study psychology and begged me to go with him. He wasn't so scrappy anymore, but he still lacked confidence. I decided to go with him as I knew how much it meant to him. The classes started out slow, but I slowly became engaged, though I was still only there for Peter. Peter gained confidence with time, but I never left. My family was finally happy with me, my parents were so glad I was a college kid getting a good education and they liked that I no longer came home covered in bruises.

"I was fucked up and that's why I liked my psych classes so much. When we graduated I was top of the class, I still don't know how I managed that one. After graduation we were at a crossroads, neither Peter nor I wanted to leave each other, so we decided to pool our money together and start our own practice. I guess the rest is pretty self-explanatory. I never had a good friend until Peter and although our friendship started in a bad place in my life he was my life savior. I gave him that watch at graduation," I told Bella as I grabbed her wrist and looked at it. "I had it inscribed, my salvation, forever in your hands, you fucker. It explained everything. Not only did Peter save me from my fight club, but he saved me from my life. He gave me direction and purpose, sure I was only following him, but it didn't matter. Peter would always be my savior, he's just…" I trailed off.

"You love him."

"Yeah, I do."

"Oh, Jay, I'm sorry you had to go through all that hurt. You didn't mention it, but that's where you got all those scars?"

"Yeah." How could I forget to mention that? I guess it just wasn't as important as Peter. "One night a month we fought with weapons that were decided on by the highest bidder. I never let Peter attend those nights. I had to keep him safe."

"But who was going to keep you safe?" Bella asked sadly as she rested her hand on my scarred chest.

"No one," I answered.

"And the guy that you killed?" Bella asked softly.

"Things got out of hand and it was an accident," I admitted with a whisper. "His name was Riley. He was just a kid and we were fighting with weapons. One lapse in concentration and I pierced his heart. I know I was only protecting myself, but it was my fight club. Ever since that night I was careful, I even took extra punches just so that I didn't harm anyone too badly. Riley's family never knew who killed him, but I approached them afterwards and told them I was a friend. I told them all about Riley, all his good qualities. I wanted them to know that even though he was mixed up in some bad things that he was still a good guy. They thanked me and I hated it. I paid for his funeral and never saw them again. That was probably my low point. It would have been time to quit, but I couldn't. I was too addicted and the pain from killing Riley just got placed on top of the pain I already had. I was drowning, but as mentioned, Peter saved me. I owe him everything, Bella."

"Okay, he can come to the wedding then."

I knew Bella was joking, but I didn't want it to be a joke.

"We're getting married one day?" I asked.

"Of course, Jasper. If you think I'd be stupid enough to let you go then you're mistaken, you're stuck with me for life."

Stuck with Bella for life? I could deal with that.

"Thank you, Bella."

"What for? Proposing? Because that wasn't a proposal, you'll have to do that yourself."

"Thank you for listening to my story and still keeping my sorry ass around."

"Oh, Jay, I will always be here with you. We've both been through our bad times, but together we will have only good times… Well apart from that whole capture and torture thing we went through…"

Oh Bella. The love of my life was just as crazy and fucked up as me. I really believed we were soulmates, everything just seemed so easy, it just seemed right. I would ask her to marry me one day and she would say yes making me the happiest fucker on this earth. I couldn't wait.