**A/N: First: OH MY GOD THAT TRAILER OH MY GOD.
Randomly long chapter for you :] It was supposed to be normal length but ideas kept coming and since I'm aiming for the perfect 55 chapters, I just write the surplus with the next chapter. But I doubt you'll mind that much :P Expect them all to be long until the story comes to a close.
REMINDER: Poll for the title is up still. Please take a minute out of your day to pick the most compelling one. So the one you'd most likely open when searching for a new fanfiction. I forgot to open the poll last week, but it's now open.
Chapter 49-Bittersweet and Strange
"Tale as old as time. Tune as old as song. Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong."
~Beauty and the Beast
When Kiley had picked Bucky up outside the Tower, it was clear that he needed to be away from the public. His eyes were red rimmed, but dark, as if he hadn't slept in days. Her apartment was closer than his, so she brought him there, silence following them.
When they entered her apartment, she watched as he wandered, taking interest in everything from her book shelves upon book shelves filled with precisely one hundred and twelve books to the black and white framed photographs on her wall of famous scenery. Kiley moved to her small kitchenette to make some hot chocolate, knowing from her latest binge watching of the Big Bang Theory to offer an upset guest a hot beverage. For herself, she started to make a cup of tea.
"As always," Kiley began over the hum of the kettle, gathering Bucky's attention. "You don't have to tell me anything. But I really think you should tell me exactly how you ended up at the Tower."
He slowly sauntered over, sitting down at her small kitchen table, hands—flesh and metal—folded together in his lap. "I had a nightmare," he began slowly, his voice echoing that pain and sadness she overheard on the phone. "But this time… it wasn't a memory. It wasn't something I had done under… for HYDRA."
Kiley poured the steaming water into the cups, stirring the powdered chocolate until it was smooth before adding some milk to cool it down. "What was it about then?" She asked, bringing the mugs over to the table and sitting down across from him.
He took the mug in his metal arm, watching as a spiral of steam rose up from the rim. "I had listened to their order. I brought them Bethany. I brought her to the mailroom, bloody and bruised, but alive. Crying. Screaming. Hysterical."
Kiley could not only hear the pain in his voice because of an action he could have easily committed but she could also see it in every movement, or lack off. His eyes, as always, carried so many emotions, betraying him even when he was pretending to be strong. But now, now he wasn't. He wasn't trying to be anything, he was just showing how he was feeling and it was clear that he was desperately lost, desperately in pain.
Despite the fact she knew nothing of his mission, she elected not to ask any questions, not to interrupt him in fear that he would stop reliving his memory and refuse to start it again. "They… they did things to her," Bucky whispered. "Poked and prodded. And they… they didn't make me watch. I chose to watch. I was given the choice. And I did nothing to stop them. She just… she was crying out for Steve. Crying out for help. Asking me for help…"
There was an odd crunching sound, Kiley's eyes drifting to the mug in Bucky's hand, his grip on it tight, and if he clenched any harder, the entire mug would lose its purpose and become nothing more than a pile of ceramic pieces. "And then the baby came. And they just took him from her. They didn't even let her see him. And they left her. Sobbing and bleeding and struggling for breath. For… for life."
"It wasn't real," Kiley reminded him strongly.
"But it could have been," Bucky replied looking up at her. "If I hadn't defied orders, who knows where they would be? Where would I be?"
"You can't base your entire life on 'what ifs'," she explained. "None of us would get anywhere if we did. I know that Bethany spent a good chunk of her life constantly asking herself what would have happened if she did something differently, and it has taken her a long time to be happy."
He didn't respond, eyes set on the steam coming from his mug. "I know it's hard," Kiley continued. "I know nightmares are hell and that our pasts will always haunt us. For me, its stupid things that make no difference in my everyday life, but still make me feel guilty from time to time. And it's because of knowing that the stupid little things make me feel guilty that I know this is hard."
"I went to the Tower because I felt an overwhelming need to finish the mission," Bucky told her, looking up at her. She tried to mask the fear she felt as she saw the darkness in his eyes. The truth in his words. That waking up from that hell wasn't the thing that sent him into hysterics. He was going to finish his mission, or at least what he could because HYDRA still had their talons dug deep into him.
It was clear to Kiley in that very moment that Bucky had a whole lot more to do than just rebuilding his identity. First, he needed to rid himself of the cling, of the power that an organization had imposed onto him for years longer than she was alive. And for Kiley to help, that meant first understanding Bucky's past, whether he wanted to share it or not and despite that being the very opposite of why Bethany chose Kiley for this task, in order to free Bucky from the shadows of HYDRA, she had to undo their handy work.
It would be a challenge, but the idea was thrilling.
Bethany slowly poured the freshly melted butter onto the freshly popped popcorn, but her gaze wasn't on the sweet yellow liquid, but on her living room. Jamie was sitting comfortably in his exersaucer, his little legs and arms moving wildly to the Disney music coming from the TV. She wanted to smile, but beside Jamie sat Theo. He had stopped crying when Jamie started, waking up from his nap. At that point, Theo remembered he had yet to meet the baby and dried his tears. So far, neither of the boys had cried again, and Bethany was grateful for that since she was sure that if they started to cry, she would too.
"Smells good," Steve whispered as he slipped into the apartment, wrapping his arms around his wife. "No luck, but Tony said JARVIS is still looking. How were things on this end?"
As soon as Bethany brought Theo inside, Steve took Natasha and Clint out to find Jen, while Bruce and Tony tackled security cameras and flight plans. Ideally, Jen couldn't have gone far, especially since she had no idea where and how to get a fake identification. "Well, Jamie has done more damage control than I have. Every time I look at him, I want to cry. Steve… how could a mother do that to her son? Not just leave him on someone's doorstep, but leave him out on the streets of New York for hours. Long enough for her to get a clear getaway, obviously."
"I don't know, Beth," Steve whispered against her ear. "We just need to right the wrongs Jen has done to him. And we can do that, I know we can."
"It doesn't change anything Steve," Bethany responded softly, closing her eyes as Steve laid a kiss on her neck. "I couldn't imagine ever doing that to Jamie. I just can't help but wonder what happened, since she said nothing to us for months, kept Theo from us for months. I just… I'm worried about what happened to her. As much as I want to be mad, I know that she wouldn't do this with a clear mind or by choice."
"Until we find her, he'll stay here," Steve stated, although it was something they didn't need to talk about.
"He would even if we didn't want him," Bethany revealed, reaching forward and pulling some papers out of the bag Theo was holding. "She named us his guardians."
Steve took the papers for a second before putting them down and turning Bethany around, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Let's just take this advantage and run with it, okay? We have Theo, we know he's safe. We're not wondering where he is, or how he's doing. We can see him with our own eyes. Everything else is out of our hands for the time being, but not forever, okay? Now let's bring this popcorn over to the couch and watch a movie with our family. Okay?"
Bethany was silent as a small smile took over her face. "Okay."
"Good," Steve nodded, kissing her forehead before picking up the popcorn bowl. "Now, what are we watching?"
"The Little Mermaid," Bethany replied, smiling as she watched Jamie's legs swing from underneath him as Under the Sea played, the screen becoming a beautiful array of colors. "I was thinking for Christmas this year, we could bring Jamie to Disney World. I think he'd love it."
Steve chuckled as they moved over to the couch, Steve handing Bethany the bowl of popcorn and pulling Theo to sit on his lap. "That's a fantastic idea," he told Bethany, watching as she handed the bowl to Theo. "Why do I have the idea that this is your dinner?"
Theo and Bethany shared a knowing look, both trying to bite back a smile. "It's not," Theo said slowly. "We had chips before this."
"Thor got hungry as he was helping me take the guards off of the crib," Bethany explained. As soon as Steve had left, Bethany had asked Thor for help in taking the guards off the crib so Theo would have somewhere to sleep that wasn't the couch or the ground since Jamie typically slept in his co-sleeper or the bassinet. Although, it was Bethany's idea to bring out the chips.
"This happens once," Steve responded, a warning tone, making both Theo and Bethany roll their eyes. "And staying up this late?"
Bethany couldn't help but cover her mouth, feeling the warmth of tears in her eyes. Seeing him now, in full father mode, it made all those years without him, all those years in pain worth it. It wasn't just him volunteering to take on the midnight feedings, or walking around the apartment, cradling Jamie until he fell back to sleep. This was him scolding both Theo and herself in their unhealthy habits, trying to better the both of them. "Just this last movie," Bethany assured. "That was the deal Theo and I made in exchange for him immediately going to sleep."
"We pinky promised," Theo nodded.
"Oh, well then by all means," Steve replied, winking at his wife, sending her into a quiet fit of schoolgirl-like giggles. She had never been more in love with him than in that moment, and couldn't help but feel a little guilty because of the circumstances. But with all of them together, all four of them, it was hard to feel sad. When it was only two or even three, the pressures, the remorse, the issues… all of them were present, and ready for whatever the future would bring. All four of them, it was hard to be anything but happy and loved.
Kiley was exhausted, and all she really wanted to do was fall asleep, but she knew she had to talk to 'Seth', as she had taken to calling them, before she could get any real sleep. She knew she could very well do it over the phone, but she was quickly realizing how important it was to communicate with them face to face. There was a lot more that could be said from the way they interacted with each other while talking to her, finishing and elaborating on the other's thoughts, bouncing ideas off one another and arriving at a conclusion that they may not completely agree on, but typically accepted as the only option.
She wasn't sure what was harder though; listening to Bucky's past, present and future as determined by HYDRA or telling the new parents about it. If she could, she would keep the majority of her conversations with Bucky a secret, but she knew just how much secrets hurt Bethany and Steve to begin with. They deserved to know how Bucky was progressing, or in this case, wasn't. They needed to know that there was a close threat, a threat that knew how to get into the Tower and even more, was on the list of acceptance at the front door, a decision that Steve and Bethany made during a hopeful day. Now, it looked like the name would be scratched off, and in Kiley's opinion, for a very long time.
"Did you watch The Little Mermaid without me?" Kiley asked, flopping down on the couch next to Bethany, the DVD title screen muted, but being the only source of light in the room besides Bethany's tablet, which she was paying so much attention to, Kiley's arrival came as a surprise.
Steve couldn't help but give a tired chuckle as Bethany's body jolted lightly, having watched Kiley come in. "Where have you been? I tried calling you," Bethany began, putting her tablet away for the time being.
"Well, I was on a date-"
"I thought that was a late lunch," Bethany interrupted.
"Okay, did I miss something important? Because you're kinda obsessed with my whereabouts," She joked.
"We've adopted a seven year old," Steve replied, making Kiley's eyes widen.
"What?"
"That's not what happened," Bethany assured, eyes heavy with fatigue. Looking at the time, she realized it was much later than she originally thought. "Our old neighbour, Jen-"
"The one with the HYDRA boyfriend dude?"
"That's the one," Bethany nodded with a sigh. "She packed up her things and left, leaving her son with us."
"Wh-What?" Kiley asked, the idea completely baffling. "Did she say anything?"
"She only left her Will, which names us his guardians," Steve replied.
"How could a mother do that? I don't even want kids, but I wouldn't do that to my kid, no matter what."
"We're trying to find her, obviously," Bethany explained. "But until then, he'll be here."
"What's his name again?"
"Theo," Bethany said quietly.
"Let me know if there's anything I can do," Kiley promised. "Listen, you both look exhausted, but there's something I need to tell you, and… Look, I need to tell you, but it's going to be hard for me to say it and for you to hear it."
"It's about Bucky, isn't it?" Steve asked softly, knowing that the majority of bad news or any news from Kiley ended up being about Bucky.
Kiley sighed, pulling the elastic off her wrist, securing her hair in a floppy bun. "He had a nightmare today, something I really have little knowledge of, but about a mission involving Bethany? One he didn't complete? Is this ringing any bells?"
Steve's hand found Bethany's knee, giving it a long squeeze. "Back before SHIELD fell, he was sent to, we've assumed, bring Bethany and Jamie to HYDRA. He-" Steve stopped, hating to imagine the situation, even more so, say it.
"He got close," Bethany finished, stronger than Steve's own voice was. "He had me in his grasps before he let go and walked away. HYDRA wanted-wants," She forced herself to correct the word. "-Jamie because he could hold the key to recreating the super soldier serum. Because… because chances are Jamie's blood is a mix of mine and Steve's which would mean…"
"An ultimate soldier," Kiley concluded. "So it's not just about Jamie's safety. It's literally about them having him and raising him as their own."
She almost regretted saying that as both Steve and Bethany looked physically pained by even the notion. "Oh man, you did not make what I'm about to say any easier."
"Better just get it over with," Bethany breathed, shifting so her body was facing Kiley's, leaning back against Steve.
"He… Bucky…" Kiley attempted. She knew Bethany was right, she just had to get it over with, but she was having a hard time putting this on top of everything else they were dealing with. "He felt the overwhelming need to finish it. He ended up outside the Tower and called me."
Steve's arms slowly tightened around Bethany, his face registering a mix of emotions, while Bethany's hand softly took his, as if to comfort him instead of herself. "How is he now?" Bethany asked.
"He's sleeping at my place," Kiley replied. "He kinda fell asleep on my couch. I just figured I should tell you now, and in person, which is why I left, but-"
"You need to get back," Bethany finished, nodding. "That's probably a good idea but Kiley… If HYDRA still has seeds in his mind, a hand in his control, you need to be careful."
Kiley looked at Steve's far off expression. She had never considered her own safety in this situation, but immediately thought of her friends'. The most danger she had ever faced in her life was the first time she drove a car. But this was completely different. This was a man who had been trained to kill, who had killed. "Steve?" Kiley finally asked, trying to get a grip on what was going on in his mind. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"
Steve's eyes continued to stare off, but he let out a slow sigh before answering. "My best friend is the enemy. A threat to our safety. It's hard to wrap my head around that."
"It's a setback, but we all knew it would take time," Kiley reminded Steve. "But I feel like we went at it all wrong. Trying to have him rediscover himself when really, we should have been focusing on getting rid of the whispers of HYDRA, because we all know that no matter who Bucky decides to become, he can't be a HYDRA soldier."
"If you need anything," Bethany began, absentmindedly playing with Steve's ring. "Just let us know."
"I will," Kiley nodded, before looking at the DVD title screen. "I'll leave you in a moment, but can I watch Part of Your World before then? It's my favorite Disney song."
"Sure," Bethany replied with a small chuckle, reaching out for the remote.
"God, I'll never get tired of it. It's fantastic. What about you, Bethany? Favorite Disney song? Oh, wait! Don't tell me, let's see if Steve knows."
Bethany craned her head up to look at Steve, watching as his full attention was brought back to the conversation. "He's A Tramp. For sentimental reasons, of course."
"You'd think that would be true," Bethany responded with a smile. Her favorite singer was Peggy Lee, and mostly because she sang their song. "It's actually Beauty and the Beast."
"Over Peggy Lee?" Steve asked, challenging her.
"Yeah. 'Bittersweet and strange'," Bethany began to quote. "'Finding you can change, learning you were wrong'."
Kiley couldn't help but smirk, and tucked that quote into her back pocket. It seemed like something that could help Bucky in the future.
Steve had drifted off to sleep more than once after Kiley left, but had refused to leave his seat. He had been waiting patiently for Bethany to turn off her tablet, go to bed with him and curl up together. He hated the idea of being in the bed without her, but his exhaustion was getting the best of him. After his head nodded one more time, jolting him from his sleep, he finally spoke up.
"We should go to bed soon," Steve whispered as Bethany tapped away at her tablet, trying to get any information on Jen that she could.
"I know," Bethany responded quietly, knowing that soon Jamie would be ready for his midnight feeding and they needed all the sleep they could get. "I'm just convinced that I won't be able to sleep even if I try."
"All we can assume for now is that she's safe and this was a conscious choice," Steve began. "If she was really in danger, don't you think she'd come to us for help?"
"I'd like to believe that," Bethany nodded. "But I'd also like to believe a mother wouldn't just leave her seven year old on the streets of New York hoping some people she swore she'd never talk to again would find him."
"Well, you found out that she took a plane to Canada, so that's a start," he reminded her, playing with some of her curls.
"They always go to Canada, and do you know why?"
"No. Why?"
Bethany looked at him, deadpanned. "I don't know, I was asking you." She let out a heavy sigh, turning the screen off. "We can't get the police involved for another ten hours. I'm not sure how much help they'll be, but if we find Jen, we're almost guaranteed to find Jacob. I'm sure the United States government would love to get their hands on yet another HYDRA member."
"Did you call Coulson?"
"No," Bethany answered, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Normally, I would, but they have so much on their plates Steve. Ironically, I didn't feel the compulsion to help them. But I'll ask him to keep his eye out for Jacob. That if he hears anything or has a run in with him, to let us know. That way we can work from there."
"Listen, there's something I need to show you," Steve began, waiting for Bethany to respond, a simple and tired nod before quickly moving to their room and coming back out with their uniforms. Bethany took hers, touching the fabric softly. "I see you went back to the basics with yours. I really liked the stealth suit."
"The stealth suit doesn't fit the image," Steve reminded her. "Pepper and Kiley keep talking about branding, and while I'm not for it, I'm not really against it either. Some cartoon network wants to start a show about us living in the Tower."
"Let me guess; each episode will have a tired out moral to go with it?"
"Most likely," Steve nodded. "Look, we know the comic books helped-"
"The comic books served as propaganda during war, Steve. This would be a way to make quick money for themselves."
"How is this any different than the tell-all book?" Steve questioned, calmly.
"Because I'm the one telling the story. The real story. I'm tired of people assuming so much about me, about us. About SHIELD. About Howard. I'm writing about things that matter to me. Things that have always been misrepresented and have every right to be told one more time, but with the truth. And I… I was planning on using the money to sponsor a grant for a young woman interested in science. I know a lot of science grants go to men. I'd like to give a woman the opportunity."
"How come you never told me that?" Steve asked, frowning slightly.
"I knew I didn't want the money for myself," Bethany explained. "I just wasn't sure until today what I wanted to do with it. Even though the times are different, I would've given anything for someone to give me millions of dollars with enough faith in me to complete it. It was always grants for Howard, for Erskine. For the SSR and then for SHIELD. It was never for me. But look, if you all want to sign off on this television thing, by all means. But I don't want any part of that. Or this," she stated, letting her suit drop to the floor.
"Beth-"
"Steve, I'm well aware that I may not have a choice in the future. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Bethany?" Theo called out suddenly from Jamie's room.
"And that," Bethany said, pointing to the bedroom door. "Is why I don't want any part of it."
Bethany pushed herself off the couch, Steve trailing her into the room. "What's wrong Theo?"
"Can you sing me a song, Bethany?" Theo asked, his voice timid in the dark room.
Bethany lowered herself to the side of his bed, pushing some of the dirty blonde hair out of his face like she used to do to Steve when his hair was longer. "Anything in particular?"
"No," Theo said with a yawn. Bethany looked up at Steve who was resting against the doorframe, looking at the two of them as if it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"Come stop your crying, it'll be alright. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you, I will be here don't you cry," Bethany began, letting each note fill the silence. Theo's hand found Bethany's as she continued to sing, her knowing full well that this was a song she used to sing to him when he was little since he had a great fascination with Tarzan. He knew which notes she liked to hold, and which notes her tone would drop slightly. He had memorized every single part of the song that made it more than a Disney song, but a Bethany song.
"You'll be here in my heart, always," Bethany continued, her voice getting softer as she watched Theo's eyes get heavier and heavier. She waited until he was sleeping soundly before she stopped, looking up at her husband with watery eyes. "I know it's not right to sit out. But it's not right to leave your child. And today proves this, Steve."
He didn't know how to respond to that, knowing she was right. But also knowing that in the end, it wouldn't matter.
By some small miracle, Steve and Bethany had the chance to sleep in the next morning. Theo had got up, turned on the TV and made himself a bowl of cereal whereas Jamie was content with just watching his parents sleep. It was around noon when Jamie's babbles woke them up. Throughout the night, they had found their way into the other's arms, wrapped completely in each other. But Jamie's random spurt of laughter jostled them both, heads turning to see the little boy looking at his parents with bright eyes.
"So perfect," Steve mumbled, pressing a kiss on Bethany's head.
"What is?" Bethany asked, reaching out her hand for Jamie to take a hold of it, which he did.
"Waking up, you in my arms, the little man smiling," Steve explained. "Theo's made himself at home."
Bethany chuckled, hearing the sounds of cartoons from the living room. "What time is it?"
Steve craned his head before letting out a loud laugh. "This is the latest I've ever slept. Especially with Jamie. 12:14."
"Nice," Bethany commented, moving to pick Jamie up and lean against the bed frame. "You hungry, Bam Bam? You must be."
Steve leaned down to kiss Jamie's forehead, then Bethany's temple before getting out of the bed. Bethany undid her shirt and chuckled as Jamie greedily began his meal. "It's been twenty four hours. I'll go call the police. Maybe do another search of the city?"
"No," Bethany disagreed. "No, I don't want Theo to be concerned. Let's just wait a little. I can't see him cry again, Steve. Let's not ruin this perfect day."
Steve sighed, hands on his hips. "I get the desire to keep it perfect, but love…"
"Get Pepper to call the police. Get Kiley to deal with the media. Have Tony answer the questions. But for now, we need to keep our boys happy," Bethany instructed, leaving no room for disagreement.
Steve smiled slightly. "'Our boys'? I like the sound of that."
"What do we do when we find her?" Bethany asked, looking down at Jamie, happily sucking away. "Theo… he told me that she was unhappy. That she was making him unhappy. I understand why we need to find her, to keep her safe from Jacob, but if he really does love her... do you think he'd hurt her?"
"I don't know," Steve admitted. "I never thought we'd ever have to consider anything along these lines. I'm going to take a quick shower and then we'll begin our day. But I think we need to ask Theo what he wants."
"He wants his mother back," Bethany responded.
"You said so yourself, Jen's unhappiness was making Theo unhappy."
"She's his mother," Bethany stressed.
"Maybe she needs a break," Steve suggested. "I know I could- that we could- use a day to just think about us. Imagine seven years as a single mother, barely getting any time to herself."
"This is one of those situations we'll never have an answer to, isn't it?" Bethany asked with a sigh.
"Let's hope it's one of those situations where it works itself out," Steve replied before slipping into the master suite.
Bethany raked a hand through her hair, looking in the mirror by their bed, deeming her appearance appropriate for the day. She really didn't want to shower or spend an hour on her hair or makeup. She barely ever got that luxury anymore, but today she looked well rested. "Thanks, little man," Bethany whispered. "For letting Momma and Daddy sleep. Huh, aren't you a good boy?"
Bethany reached out for the magazine on Steve's nightstand, that was really her own. Kiley had been tagging stories related to them over the past few months, so they could both decide whether or not they wanted to take action on the typically false stories and statements. Flipping to the sticky note, Bethany scoffed at the story.
It was a picture of her and Steve pushing Jamie's stroller. It looked like they were fighting, causing the headline to read TROUBLE IN PARADISE? But in reality, Steve had been trying to calm Bethany down in terms of Jamie being out in public. Another picture was featured farther down of the day of Jamie's baptism, Bethany looking emotionally distraught, but she knew the real reasons, and once again having nothing to do with fighting with Steve. Bethany huffed heavily before reading the column.
Spotted in public on August 13th, the Patriotic couple were seen strolling with their son, Jamie, 3 months, for the first time. Just a few days later, the couple were together to celebrate the baby's baptism. In both places, the couple seemed strained, caught fervently whispering to the other, unable to keep their fighting for their home life. Sources close to the couple revealed that they were caught in a string of arguments slowly getting serious since the fall of SHIELD back in April. Bethany apparently is not settling well with the decisions her husband made in regards to the organization, and that has been creating a wedge between the two. Married just over a year, it looks like this marriage is slowly falling apart.
"Lies," Bethany informed Jamie. "Just for the record, it's been getting better."
She spoke all too soon though as she accidentally sliced her finger against the paper of the magazine, watching as a single drop of blood trickled down her finger before the skin stitched itself back together, reminding her that not everything was perfect.
Bethany watched quietly as Theo played with Jamie, dangling the plush Hulk in front of his face. Jamie laughed loudly, reaching his hands out, trying to grab it. Bethany could tell that Jamie was slowly growing tired of the game by the look of frustration on his face, but she couldn't help but love the way the two boys seemed to fit together.
"Ooooh, smells good," Tony commented, sauntering into the room.
"Bethany is making her grilled cheese," Theo informed the man, finally letting Jamie hold the toy.
"And she didn't invite me?" Tony asked, insulted.
"Do you want some grilled cheese, kid?" Bethany asked with a struggle.
"Why are you even asking?" Tony replied.
"Please works the same way," Theo responded. Bethany held her fist out, Theo pumping his against it, teaming up against the billionaire.
"Where's Rogers?" Tony asked, drumming his hands against the countertop.
"He and Natasha are… running errands," Bethany lied smoothly, but by the look she sent Tony, he knew that Steve was really out looking for Jen. "Okay, the first one is ready."
Theo clapped, watching as Bethany put his sandwich on a plate and cut in down the middle, in the non-traditional way of horizontally opposed to vertically or diagonally, but in the way Bethany cut all her grilled cheeses, adding a certain something to the already special recipe. "Do you want chipotle sauce in yours, kid?" Bethany asked, putting the plate in front of Theo.
"Yes, please," Tony replied, nudging Theo at the last part, making the kid laugh.
Bethany turned to start the sandwich, buttering both sides of the white bread before spooning some of the macaroni and cheese from the pot onto the bread, then adding a slice of cheese on top, smothering chipotle on the other side of the bread and adding the entire combination onto the oven top.
"Chipotle is too spicy," Theo spoke up, a mouth full of sandwich.
"Which is why yours doesn't have any," Bethany pointed out. "You sure you don't want any sauce though, Theo? Ketchup? Mayo?"
"Mayo?" Tony asked, nose scrunched up.
"One of the pregnant cravings I'll never be able to explain, but it's actually pretty good, especially with the chipotle sauce," Bethany explained, moving over to Jamie and fixing the little baby slipper that was falling off his foot.
"Did I miss the party?" Bruce asked, coming into the room.
"Do you want one?" Bethany questioned, pointing to Theo's sandwich.
"No, thank you," Bruce replied with a kind smile. "I do, however, need to talk to you," he finished, pointing to Bethany with his glasses in hand. "And Steve, if he's here."
"He's not, but he should be back soon," Bethany responded, moving to flip Tony's sandwich before it burned.
"He's running errands," Theo inputted.
Bruce nodded, putting his glasses on. "When he gets back, meet me in my lab? Get someone to watch the kids."
"I'll do it," Tony suggested.
"No offence Tony," Bruce began with a small smile on his face. "But I included you in the word 'kids'."
"You got it," Bethany responded before Tony could reply. "We'll see you then." Bruce bowed his head, looking to Jamie for a moment before slipping out as fast as he slipped in. "Is Pepper back yet?"
"Yeah," Tony replied as Bethany scooped the grilled cheese off the pan, onto its plate and setting it down in front of her nephew. "I can watch over them."
"It's not that I don't trust you," Bethany began, turning off the burner to the oven. "But… I don't trust you in this situation. Changing diapers and nap time. Plus, you'd be outnumbered with Jamie and Theo."
"You were outnumbered before I got here," Tony pointed out, taking a big bite of his sandwich.
"That's different and you know it," Bethany reminded him.
"Can I watch another movie?" Theo asked as he finished off his sandwich.
Bethany sighed, leaning against the countertop. "I guess so, but this is the last one for the day, okay? Which one do you want?"
"Iron Giant," Tony interrupted. "Let's watch that."
Bethany looked to Theo for his approval, the kid responding with a cute shrug. "Okay. But I mean it. After that, no more TV. Do something… productive."
"Like what?" Theo asked, pushing his plate towards Bethany, her taking an interest in his hands. For the longest time, they were so chubby, they had little dimples permanently etched into them. Whenever she looked at Jamie's hands, they were almost completely similar. But now, Theo's hands were thinning out, becoming more like a boy's and less like a baby's.
"You could join me and Steve for a workout," Bethany suggested, taking her phone out of her pocket when it began to vibrate. "Hey, what's up?"
"Natasha and I are almost back," Steve replied. "How's he doing?"
"Good," Bethany answered, keeping a calm demeanor. "So what's the plan?"
"Clint and Natasha are going to take a trip to Jen's last known whereabouts in… where was it?"
"Sherbrooke, Canada," Bethany responded.
"See if there's any evidence towards where she went. But right now, there's nothing at her apartment or work that we can use to figure any of this out. All we can do is look and wait."
"I agree," Bethany answered. "Listen, when you get back, Bruce wants to see us."
"About you, or about Jamie?" Steve asked.
"I'd have to say me," Bethany said before sighing. "I'm a little nervous to be honest."
"I think you have every reason to be, but remember, this is just a test. You don't need to make a decision today, and even if it doesn't work… I'm here for you."
"I know," Bethany promised with a small smile, hoping that Steve could hear it in her voice. "ETA?"
"In the elevator right now," Steve responded.
"Perfect, bye," Bethany said, putting her phone down and looking over to Jamie. "You ready for your nap yet? Huh?"
"Don't force him to sleep," Tony said before finishing his sandwich.
"He needs a nap at some point," Bethany replied with a sigh. "Listen, Steve will be here soon, can you call Pepper down for me please?"
"I can take care of them," Tony insisted, but Bethany didn't waver for a moment. "What? Do you really not trust me?"
"I don't trust your judgement," Bethany corrected. "Tony, there's a reason you don't have kids yourself."
"You'll be a few floors away, what's the worst that could happen?" Tony asked.
"Do you want a list?" Steve asked, walking into the room and moving to kiss Bethany's cheek. "Before we go see Bruce, can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Yeah, of course," Bethany nodded, looking at Tony. "I mean it. Call Pepper down. Keep my hair blonde opposed to grey, okay kid?"
Tony only rolled his eyes, Steve taking a hold of Bethany's hand and pulling her into their room. "Natasha brought up some good points while we were out," he began after closing the door, Bethany sitting on their bed. "Can we safely assume that she's doing this because of choice?"
"Steve, even if she left on her own will, there is something wrong here," Bethany reminded him.
Steve sighed, hands on his hips. "Put yourself in Jen's shoes."
Bethany closed her eyes, thinking about what she would do if Steve was half way around the world, hiding for his safety because the second he steps into the light, he'd be put away and she instantly knew the answer. "With or without Jamie, I'd find you," Bethany whispered. "I'd leave him with someone I knew could keep him safe, keep him happy and I'd find you."
"So you think it is her choice?"
"I don't know," Bethany responded in the same tone. "Honestly, this being her choice would be better than being forced into the situation. Steve, she loves him. She made sure Theo had all the things we needed to take care of him, all his papers, her will… She dropped him off outside the Tower so we wouldn't stop her, but she did leave him on extremely safe property."
"It doesn't make the situation any better."
Bethany let out a dry chuckle. "No, no it doesn't. But I get it, I guess. I'd find you. You'd find me. If she loves him half as much as we love one another..."
"That's still a whole lot of love," Steve agreed, sitting next to her and pulling her into a tight embrace. "You're right. I would find you."
Bethany couldn't put her love for Steve in that moment into words that would even closely amount to the truth. She adored him for caring about her friend, about that little boy she honestly loved like a son. She admired his desire to not only find Jen, but to find the truth. And ultimately, he worshipped him for just being who he was.
"Does Bruce want to talk about you, or about Jamie?" Steve whispered against her ear.
"Me," Bethany sighed. "I'm a little afraid to be honest. I want this so bad Steve…"
"I know," he assured quietly, kissing her temple. "But hey," he continued, waiting for her to look at him. "You know if this doesn't work that I'll still be here, holding your hand in preparation for the next step."
Bethany let a small smile split her lips. "I know. I just can't watch someone else I love disappear in front of my eyes."
Steve was overwhelmingly proud of his wife. She was sitting there, no fear present despite her confession. She showed no fear when Bruce pulled the needle out of a fridge and no fear when he pulled out an operating knife, the type used to cut off full limbs. "Here's what we're going to do," Bruce began. "The limb needs to be big enough for this to be effective, but I also need to cauterise the end to keep the regenerated cells contained. From then, I'll make a laceration to see if it heals before injecting the serum and seeing what happens next."
"Okay," Bethany nodded, no emotion on her face, tightening the strap just above her wrist.. Steve, however, was uneasy. He hated seeing Bethany in any type of pain, and this was most definitely going to be painful. But as Bruce slowly moved the blade to carefully grace Bethany's skin, she didn't even react. She sat there, her hand in Steve's, waiting for her fate to be decided. Steve closed his eyes as the blade swiftly moved up and then down. The hand inside his twitched and Bethany's breathing hitched, but he heard no crying, no shouting, no call for Bruce to stop.
"Make sure she stays conscious," Bruce warned Steve as he opened his eyes, Bethany looking rightfully queasy and lightheaded. Steve took a hold of the heavy wrapped limb, quickly staining the white cloth red. He didn't even pay attention as Bruce went about cauterising the limb, moving his position so he could support Bethany better. Her head lolled over to his shoulder, eyes heavy.
"Doll?" He whispered, her expression still blank, eyes void of anything and everything.
"She's in shock," Bruce explained. "Good thing too, or else she wouldn't be able to handle the pain."
Steve wasn't sure about that. Bethany had gone through more pain than what she was experiencing, but he had never seen her falling into shock like she just did. He moved to take a tighter grip on the bandages but accidently revealed part of her arm. At first, Steve wanted to gasp at the site, but he could already see that it was healing, a bone slowly forming, skin growing up onto the white structure. It was a completely disgusting image, but he felt a weight lift off of him knowing that soon Bethany would return to normal.
"Bethany?" Bruce asked, finishing cauterising the limb and getting ready for the next step. The laceration healed, the next step being the most nerve wracking of them all. "If you can hear me, and are ready, give us a signal-"
"Do it," She whispered lightly, her lips not moving and eyes still unfocused. Steve pulled Bethany closer to him, trying to provide her with some sort of warm and comfort. Seventy years of not aging all led up to that very moment.
Steve swallowed thickly, watching as Bruce slowly pierced the skin with the needle, the contents of the plastic vial lowering itself into the limb. As the needle slowly pulled out of the skin, Bruce didn't even get the chance to slice the skin as it quickly started to deteriorate before their eyes, aging at an impossible speed, the skin graying and shriveling up.
Steve felt his heart drop. He knew how much Bethany wanted this, wanted the chance to age with everyone else she loved and all her hopes were now set back to the beginning. He wasn't sure what to say, but was secretly glad she was still in shock. Whether or not she understood the full meaning of what was happening or not, she had not reacted at all, her breathing shallow and eyes growing heavier with the second.
Steve looked up at Bruce, looking just as sorry as Steve felt. "You can lie her down. It'll take another hour or so for her to fully heal, and she might be better off sleeping through it."
Steve nodded, slowly lowering her on the makeshift hospital bed and pulling a blanket over her. Her breathing was still rhythmic and braving another look at the numb where her hand should be, he saw that there had been a change, growing a little bit more and giving him another offering of peace. Bruce gestured his head for Steve to follow him and he obeyed, only stepping a little farther from Bethany's bed. "I'm sorry," Bruce offered quietly. "I'll continue to work on this, but in the last year, I did think of some other things in case this didn't work."
"What happened exactly?" Steve asked, looking at the grey limb.
"My theory is that it completely reversed the healing process," Bruce explained, slipping his glasses off his face and cleaning them with the hem of his shirt. "In turn, it aged it. Significantly. And not well."
"It's a good thing we tested this out first," Steve said, his heart stopping for a second, not wanting to think about what would've happened to Bethany if they put that serum into her system. "I'm worried about her falling into a depression," Steve revealed to his friend. "She's been so strong for so long. With motherhood and all the stress of HYDRA and now this? I've been making sure she keeps taking her bipolar medication, getting the rest she needs, but-"
"No, I agree. She's going to fall over at some point, and it'll be bad if we don't keep her stable," Bruce nodded. "What I've been working on now would theoretically help with the bipolar disorder, since some of the medicinal ingredients are found in her medication already. It'll be a needle every day, small quantities that will it, new idea to slow down the healing process instead of riddingrid it all together, just like when she was pregnant. The great thing about this idea is that if she needs the healing-"
"She can just Steady use will theoretically stop the injections," Steve finished, nodding. "I like that idea. Assuming it works-"process all together and will steadily make her age
"I'll test it out, of course," Bruce nodded. "I'm going to take a blood sample from her arm now and insert it into the limb. It should restore it to its health since the healing process is hardcoded in her DNA and allow me to test this process."
"Thank you," Steve responded. "She's so terrified of it all slipping through her fingers again, but the fact is… I'm afraid too. I want her to be happy, and I know how badly she wants this."
"I can't promise results, but I can promise to try," Bruce reminded Steve.
"That's all we ask," Steve assured the man before moving over to his wife again. "Beth?"
"I'm here," she whispered, her voice hitching once.
"Is there anything I can do? Anything I can get you?" Steve replied quietly, touching her face softly.
Her eyes twitched, unable to stay open despite her fighting it. "Sing to me?" She asked, her lips barely moving.
Never had Bethany asked him to sing to her. On occasion, he would, but never in the same romantic and comforting way she sang to him. But whenever he needed her to sing, she would comply and it helped him get through whatever was weighing him down. It took his mind off the painful memories, the nightmares and the ache.
"When the dog bites," Bethany began hoarsely, indicating which song she wanted.
"When the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad," Steve complied, singing quietly, so quietly some of the notes not fully leaving his lips, but satisfying Bethany nonetheless. "I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad…"
**A/N: Heads up, next week's chapter may be delayed. I'm not finished it yet and it's unfair to give my beta readers only a few days to edit over 8,000 words. I have six more weeks of school and then I'm in the clear and have nothing better to do but write.
Jo: School is... overwhelming at this point. The decision to take six courses on top of working and writing this fanfiction which takes up a huge chunk of my week was idiotic. At least it's almost done! One more month to go :)
19irene96: So have I :)
MissAnimeMiss: Haha, I would have updated if I had the chapter finished :$ I don't even have next week's done. Usually i'm two to three weeks ahead of the curve. School is getting to me!
FeliciaFelicis: About an hour before you posted that, Hayley Atwell was in London talking to television broadcasts, so don't give up just yet! I'm more than a few weeks behind on AoS. I want to get caught up but I really don't have the time right now. The block I usually use for television is being filled with school work. Bleh.
fallingforthecaptain: I'll answer one of your questions: Yes, Theo will play a role in bringing Steve and Bucky together. It's not exactly this huge reunion, but they'll be together and they'll talk. A lot. It'll either be the last chapter in this story or the first in the next :)
Adventures of Raindance Maggie: Thank you :) Hopefully this summer i'll get around to fixing those mistakes, as I catch them when I go back and reread parts. I'm glad that you've been enjoying it. I've worked hard on trying to make it the best it can be :) I'm glad that the interactions are realistic as that is one of my ultimate goals. As for Clint and Natasha, I really don't know what I'm going to do with him. It looks as if Bruce and Natasha are on a flirtatious line, and I'll honor that for Age of Ultron, but for afterwards, I'm not sure. I like the idea of 'part-time lovers, full-time friends' for Natasha and Clint. I'm planning on spanning this out as long as I can, so who knows? :)
