Chapter 53: The Doe.

There was just a faint hint of the approaching dawn as they drifted silently across the misty lake. The water was calm and smooth, and Severus had brought along a potion, that, when added to the water at the boat's prow, produced a thick mist that hid their boat completely, so that it blended in perfectly with the naturally-occurring mist on the lake's surface.

They rowed for some time, hugging the rough walls of the cliffs on which Hogwarts Castle stood. Finally, they reached the point where an outcrop of land jutted out from the other side of the lake, making the crossing shorter and less easy to spot than from the castle grounds.

The only sound was the soft plop of their oars as they gently edged the boat alongside the springy clumps of reeds and grasses lining the edge of the lake. When they found a good spot, Lily jumped lightly out while Severus collected their things.

'Why didn't we just sneak out the main door under the Stealth Cloth, Sev?' Lily asked, as she and Severus heaved the boat up on the grassy bank. Throwing his bag over his shoulder, he led the way towards the dark outline of the trees of the forest.

'Because the main door's probably locked magically. Besides, the Stealth Potion'll wear off before we'd even make it past Hagrid's hut. The invisible effect only lasts about an hour.'

'I think we could make it past Hagrid's in an hour.'

'And what about the various monstrosities that he and Kettleburn keep penned up beyond his hut?'

'Oh, come on. Its only Percy, he knows us now, he wouldn't hurt us…'

'Unless we sneak up on him under a Stealth cloth that suddenly loses both its invisibility and silencing power. How d'you think a short-tempered gryffin'll react to that, hmm?'

'But…'

'Anyway, I wasn't talking about the Gryffin only. Remember that Three-headed puppy you said Hagrid got last year?'

'Yes, but…'

'Well, Pavo Parkinson saw it. One of the heads almost ripped his finger off when he went sneaking round Hagrid's Hut during Kettleburn's last lesson. Amazing how fast a monster pup can grow in a few months!'

'Well, Pavo shouldn't have gone snooping! Perhaps Fluffy was just protecting his master's property!'

Severus snorted in derision, but did not answer her immediately, for they had arrived to the place where the majestic oak tree jutted above the rest of the forest.

'D'you want to go and get some of the bark from that tree? You wanted to last year, remember? Then there was that Bowtruckle…'

'Perhaps not today.' Severus answered.

'It's ok; I can find our way back here this time. I've mastered the Four-Point Charm, look-'

And with a muttered incantation, Lily held her wand on the flat of her palm, where it spun round once and then came to rest pointing due north.

'That's great. We can go further inland then. Now come on, this way first .There's some red moss which I need for the Stealth Potion which must be collected at dawn, and some dew off the Whipthorn plant too.'

He set off confidently in a north-easterly direction, away from the Oak tree, leaving Lily to catch up. The mist was still quite thick, but there was a very faint, diffused light that warned of the approaching dawn.

'Are … are you sure we're going in the right direction? I mean, last year there were those horrific spiders. I wouldn't want to bump into them again…' Lily said, looking with some trepidation at darkness between the thick trunks of the close-growing trees.

'You won't. Not where we're going.' Severus paused.

Lily was looking at him, puzzled. He sighed. She would find out anyway, so he decided to tell her.

'We're not going to see those spiders again, because they've moved away, further in.'

He saw her eyes widen in comprehension.

'Severus Snape, you've been in this forest again! Without telling me!'

'I wanted to make sure it is safe or, well, safer…'

'But it isn't! Anything could've happened!'

He scowled. 'I can take care of myself. Don't fuss, Lily!'

He saw her draw herself to her full height and place one hand on her hip. He knew she was probably angry because she had missed the opportunity to visit the forest, and was probably thinking she should have gone by herself after all. But after last year's experience, he wasn't going to allow her in there, if he could help it, without at least familiarising himself with the place. It would avoid them getting lost, or wandering into some monster's lair.

'So you think that I am the one who can't take care of myself, eh?' she was saying.

The mist swirled around her black cloak, making her appear ghostly.

'Well, let me tell you something, Severus,' she took a step closer, and he could now see her face. As he expected, her eyes flashed angrily, but there was something else in her eyes, too…Could it be – tears? He froze, aghast, but she blinked rapidly and continued:-

'I don't care whether you think I can handle going into this forest or not! I don't care if you think you can take care of yourself! I care about…about…what could have happened! You could've been hurt or something, and no-one would ever even know!' She dropped her gaze for a second, then looked up at him steadily. 'You are not going in there by yourself again, ok?'

Severus avoided her unwavering stare, glancing off to one side uncomfortably. He normally would have had a scathing reply for anyone who dared tell him what to do or what not to do, but this was different. He hadn't expected such a reaction from Lily – he thought she was just mad at an opportunity missed, but instead she seemed genuinely worried that he could have come to harm. He shifted uneasily. He wasn't used to this. No-one ever gave a damn where he went, or what happened to him. It felt vastly uncomfortably, but good, too, somehow. He forced himself to turn in her direction. Lily was still looking at him.

'Look, Lily, I didn't take any unnecessary risks, and I like wandering around on my own. I don't mind it.'

Her eyebrows shot up at his words.

'I…I mean, I'm used to it, but of course, I would prefer it, if you're with me. That is to say…' To his mortification he felt himself reddening.

'It's ok, Sev, I understand.' Incomprehensibly, Lily was smiling now. Or perhaps she was smiling at his confusion. He scowled.

'I understand why you did it,' she went on 'I know you wanted to make it safer. I appreciated what you did to get us out of the castle with the Stealth Potion.'

She laughed as he raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

'Yes, really! Mouldy smell and all! It's much better than being caught out of bed by Filch! But seriously, Sev, the Forest is dangerous, you're still underage, and whatever you say, you cannot be sure that you'd get away. How often have you been?'

'About four times…. But only short trips,' he added hastily, as her eyebrows went up again. 'I just needed to be able to find my way around, so we'd be sure not to get lost. At least I know this area of the forest now.'

Lily shhok her head in exasperation 'Really! To think I was imagining you safe in bed, whilst you were actually out here facing Merlin-knows-what monstrosities! How will I ever rest easy, if you intend to keep sneaking off like that?!'

'I already told you. I was very careful, and there weren't any spiders. Their webs are abandoned, so they must have moved deeper into the forest.'

'What about the invisible monsters that hunted those rabbits, hmm? Have you found out what they are? How do you expect to escape them? And the spiders - you had guessed right, Severus. They were Acramantula. Baby ones. Hagrid confirmed it, though he wouldn't tell me how they got to this forest.'

'I don't know what the invisible creatures were, though I've got some theories,' he retorted grumpily, 'Why don't you ask Hagrid about them, too?'

'He doesn't know we ran into those, and I don't plan to enlighten him. But he guessed about the spiders -I was covered in stuff from their web, remember?'

Severus shrugged. 'Well, anyway, I'm better prepared to face whatever this forest has to throw at us now,' he told her, confidently 'I've been practising some basic defence spells which would come in very useful in such cases, and I want you to learn them too, Lily.'

'Why? In case I get the urge to come to the Forbidden Forest by myself, like you did?' she replied, severely.

'You'd get lost in the dungeon labyrinth before you even make it here.'

'Oh, there are other ways into the forest, I'm sure.'

Severus clenched his teeth. He didn't want to goad her into doing exactly what she had chided him for. And with Lily, one never knew when her rash Gryffindor spirit might take over.

'Well, I just want you to learn them, ok? Now let's get a move on, or all the dew'll have gone.'

The mist was getting sparser now and the light stronger. They needed to get back before anyone at the castle was stirring.

'It's alright, Sev. I was just teasing. Of course I'll learn those defence spells. You'll teach me, won't you?' She smiled up at him.

He stumbled on a tree-root and swore under his breath. He determined to keep his eyes on the path between the trees from now on, as he led the way further into the forest where he knew some clumps of Whipthorn bushes grew.

''Course I'll teach you, but we must get to the ingredients now, or we won't have any more Stealth Potion.'

They soon arrived at the strange, thorny plants. They were covered in moisture, and Severus got out some empty phials he had brought and let the dew drip into them from the long thorns. The colourless liquid had a pungent smell, having been imbued with essences from the thorns.

'I'll be modifying the Stealth Potion.' he told Lily, who was standing by, quietly observing him. 'If you gather some Red moss, Moonwort and Guelder berries, I think I'll also be able to get rid of the mould in the old curtain, and it'll smell better too.

He saw her grin and turn to do as she was told, but before she left he got up quickly from where he was kneeling near the Whipthorn bush, and grabbed her arm, stopping her.

'Lily, there's something else…' he said awkwardly, letting go her arm. 'There was another reason why I wanted to come to the forest. I needed ingredients, you see...'

'For the Stealth Potion, yes.'

'No. Not only. I …I've been brewing other stuff too…' he looked up to see her reaction.

'I know,' she nodded. 'You've been nicking leftover stuff from Slughorn's class since first year, besides whatever else you get from home. Of course I know.'

'Yes, well, I guess that was pretty obvious to you, at least, but you don't know where and how I've been doing it.'

He could see that her curiosity was aroused.

'And where have you been brewing? In that disused classroom near Potions?'

' 'Course not! Everyone knows about that classroom. No. I found a much better place. No-one seems to know about it, for it's off the beaten track. At least, it's quite far from the Slytherin common room.'

'You found it back in first-year, didn't you? That's when you started brewing in secret.'

He remembered she had confronted him about it once in first year, but he had never wanted to tell her where he was going.

'Well, yes. I've been using it since first-year. It's deep in the dungeons and very convenient. Must've been an old Potions store room or classroom. I've found lots of stuff: old cauldrons, phials, some still with ingredients in them….'

'And why are you telling me this after two years?'

He couldn't be sure, but he seemed to detect the slightest hint of an injured tone in her voice.

'Because …because it's against the rules to brew ...'

'Rubbish Sev!' she cut across him huffily. 'You can't talk to me about rule-breaking while we're standing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest!'

'This is more serious. There was this Slytherin girl who was almost expelled for brewing illicit potions some years ago.'

He knew it was a weak excuse, but didn't know what else to say. The truth was that he had been secretly trying out potions and spells from his Great-grandfather's book on Dark Arts, and he hadn't wanted her there given her disapproval of the book. Besides, he had to make sure it was safe and well hidden first, and it was only now, after two years, that he felt convinced the place was truly abandoned.

'If you're talking about Narcissa Black's sister, save your breath, for I know all about it.' Lily was saying 'Thalia told me. It seems she was brewing a poison, so no wonder she was threatened with expulsion! But as for other potions…why, students brew them all the time. Mary and Thalia have already been looking up Love Potions. They gave up, of course, for they're really difficult to do, but...'

'The thing is, Lily, that some of the potions I've been brewing are not exactly…well, they're not exactly textbook stuff, and…'

'As long as you haven't been brewing batches of poison, I don't see why-'

'I don't have poisons. But I've experimented a bit, and, well, it hasn't always turned out exactly like I expected…'

'Severus Snape, you once promised me that you wouldn't brew anything that may blow the school up!'

She had her arms crossed, but the corner of her mouth twitched upwards in what he thought was a suppressed smile. He knelt down once more near the Whip thorn plant and unstoppered another bottle.

'I promise you there have been no major explosions, just some minor mishaps,' he said, as he filled another bottle with the essence. 'You'll be quite safe, if you'd like to come. I'll show you where it is.'

He kept his eyes firmly on the dripping thorns as he said this. Perhaps she would not want to now.

'Actually, I'd like to see for myself what kind of 'minor mishaps' you're talking about! You try out different brewing methods even under Slughorn's nose, so what you brew in secret must be radical. Really Sev! What if something went badly wrong? This is the same thing as wandering off into the Forbidden Forest alone.' She sighed exasperatedly. 'At least someone should know where you are.'

'So you'll come then?'

He couldn't keep the hope out of his voice. He bit his lip - he must sound pathetic. But Lily was smiling.

'Of course I'll come. If you're so dead set on inventing new potions, someone ought to keep an eye on you, don't you think? Now I'm off to get that Moonwort before it s time to go back!' and with that she turned round and set off among the trees, leaving him staring at her.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he watched her black-cloaked figure disappear behind a briar-entangled tree. He was relieved she'd agreed to come, for he wasn't so sure spending time in a cold, dark, dungeon held any appeal when compared to what, for her, were exciting jaunts into the forest.

What if she'd agreed to come just so that she'd 'keep an eye on him', as she said? He pushed that thought angrily out of his head. He'd been brewing potions, with or without his mother's knowledge, since before Lily even knew she was a witch. He could take care of himself on that matter, definitely.

Perhaps it had not been a good idea to tell Lily to come. He frowned. Lily had always seemed eager to brew potions, both during class and at home, whenever they could find the right ingredients down by the river, or in the old abandoned houses there. She, unlike most of the other third-years in Potions class, had a natural affinity for the subject which had made him glad on more than one occasion that it was her sharing his desk during Potions, and not some dunderhead who couldn't light a cauldron without melting it.

On the other hand, she didn't sneak off at odd hours of the day and night to brew potions in secret. Perhaps she didn't have that much dedication or interest in it, so she wouldn't find it anything but dull… If so, or if she saw it as an opportunity to save him from the consequences of dangerous brewing, then he wouldn't ask her to come again!

He closed the last phial of transparent liquid and stood up. He should have enough for at least three more batches of stealth potion, if he kept the bottles in the dark. As he packed them away in his bag he realised that it must have already dawned, for the light was as bright as it ever got under the thick shade of the forest trees, and the mist had disappeared.

Lily should have been back by now.

He set off to look for her, but the glass phials in his bag started chinking loudly with every step he took so, he had to stop and stuff moss and leaves around them to be sure they didn't make any sound. During his past excursions into the forest, he had realised that stealth in the Forbidden Forest was even more important than during any night-time wandering within the walls of Hogwarts itself.

He proceeded silently in the direction he had last seen her go, where there were bushy Guelder trees which bore the berries they needed. But once there, he could see no sign of her. He searched the area, but found nothing. Someone had been picking berries, of that he was sure, because there were broken twigs and berries on the ground, but he could see little else.

Something tautened inside of him and he pulled out his wand. Images of Lily, cornered by some hideous beast rose in his mind. He shouldn't have left her alone! It was his fault. Perhaps she wandered off just to show him that she, too, could take care of herself. As though risking one's life in the Forbidden Forest was some stupid bet! He would not be interested in the damned place, and would certainly never have come, if it wasn't for the fact that he needed ingredients! He preferred the familiar, still, quiet darkness of the tunnels of Hogwarts dungeons!

Suddenly he froze, hearing something. Hiding behind a large, gnarled trunk, he waited to hear it again. The sound had come from a few meters ahead, where a dim, golden light fell gently into a clearing.

Once more, the soft sound filtered through the trees. It was a voice! Lily's voice! He moved forward, breathing a sigh of relief at having found her. But who was she talking to? He walked forward through the trees and came out into a small clearing lit by the rays of the dawning sun. What he saw made him stop dead in his track.

Lily was kneeling down on the grass, her hand held out, and, about a foot away from her, ears twitching nervously, was a small red doe. The same doe, unless he was mistaken, that had led them onto the right forest path when they had first got lost in the forbidden forest. Te one Lily insisted had saved their lives on that occasion.

Neither Lily, nor the deer noticed him.

With bated breath, he saw the animal approach her. The morning light fell softly on the doe's red back as she placed one delicate foot forward, her large, liquid eyes fixed on Lily, who was saying something in a low, crooning voice.

Just as Lily's hand was about to touch the creature, it started, ears twitching in his direction, followed by the delicate head. Her large brown eyes gazed at him for a split second as it prepared to flee. He cursed under his breath, thinking that he must have made a sound, or was standing upwind or something.

Lily, following the doe's gaze, noticed his dark figure standing there, almost blending in completely with the darkness of the forest behind him. She was saying something to the deer in a low whisper. He strained to hear.

'….my friend. You can trust him,' she was saying.

Why was she talking to a doe? Why was it there at all?

But the animal seemed to understand, for the pre-flight tenseness in her body vanished, and she gazed calmly at him. Lily took this opportunity to caress her. The animal did not run away, but turned her gaze to Lily once more.

Severus just stood there mesmerised by the sight of Lily, hair aflame in the early morning sun, smiling at the forest creature, who tolerated her soft strokes as he was sure no wild animal, deer especially, would ever allow.

Perhaps it was a tame deer. Or maybe Lily had a way with this animal that he could never hope to understand. Whatever the case, he drank in the beautiful sight hungrily – it seemed to him as though Lily was some ethereal creature at that moment, and he was just someone allowed to watch from the fringes of the darkness of the forest beyond.

A sudden noise, like a hoarse bellow, shattered the silence of the forest, and this time the doe did run away. With a quick look over its shoulder in the direction of the sound, it set off in a swift, silent, run in the opposite direction, until the trees had swallowed it up.

Lily got up regretfully from the ground, and Severus hurried to join her, looking in the direction from whence the strange roar had come.

'I heard that sound last time I came here,' he said, still holding his wand tightly.

But Lily seemed unphased.

'It's the stags,' she explained matter-of-factly 'It's the beginning of the rutting season. Hagrid told me. So the stags are fighting each other, and it makes her nervous. That's what spooked her.'

'Oh.'

'Did you see how she glowed? It must be the aura Magus was trying to explain to us in Divination.'

'It was just the sun reflecting on –'

'No. It was different – like a glow from within!'

'You've been listening to Magus for too long.'

'I know what I've seen, Sev,' she retorted, petulantly 'She - she had a golden aura, it wasn't just the sun.'

He didn't answer her, for, truth be told, he had been looking at her, rather than the deer.

'We'd better head back,' he said after a while 'It's already very late. People would be up now and we could be spotted crossing the lake, even with the magical mist.'

Lily's eyes were fixed on the spot where the doe had disappeared, but she didn't object and silently followed him back to where they had left the boats.