"Ruth! It's lovely to see you." Fiona greets her with a smile, leaning in to embrace her briefly. "Come in," she adds, stepping aside to let her through.
"Thanks." She removes her coat and hands it to Fiona before following her through to the kitchen.
"Tea, coffee?"
"Tea, please." The room is long and thin, but spacious and full of light. "This is lovely."
"Thank you," Fiona smiles, flicking on the kettle. "Adam found the house, but we both love it now. I particularly like the kitchen. There's so much light! Would you like a tour?"
"Oh, yes please."
"All right. Let me just make the tea and it can brew while I show you around. Wes loves his room, and though the stairs are a bit steep, the previous owners created a lovely little nook under there. Wes calls it his castle. I haven't been allowed to store anything in it."
"I should think not!" Ruth laughs.
"There's also a tree-house in the back garden."
"A little boy's heaven."
"Exactly." Fiona smiles and pours the now boiling water into the teapot, setting it on the table and covering it with a tea-cosy. "There we go. Right. Follow me."
They spend the next few minutes wandering around Fiona and Adam's new home. It's well designed inside to give the illusion of being larger than it is, spacious and full of natural light, with lost of nooks and crannies for storage. It seems like none of the space available is wasted. The big tree in the back garden does indeed have a small tree-house in it and the fort under the stairs is charming. The door to the cupboard has been modified to make it look like a portcullis and there's an arrow-slit to the side of it.
"Oh, Wes must love this!"
"He does," Fiona smiles. "He spends almost all day in there. There's a stepladder inside that leads to a little platform, see?"
"Oh yes!"
"And at the top of that, there's a little round window through which Wes can rain more arrows down on anyone standing in front of the back door."
"That's fantastic! Such a cleaver idea."
"I know. I think Adam and I were sold on this house the moment we saw this."
"I bet Wes was too! Where is he, by the way?"
"He's got his first rugby practice today. Jill, one of his friends' mum, is picking the boys up and dropping them home after practice."
"That's nice," she smiles as they walk back into the kitchen.
"Yeah. It's been nice these last few weeks to have the opportunity to return the favour. Adam and I don't often get to do that."
"No, I imagine not." Fiona has produced some biscuits, sugar and milk, so she starts adding the latter to her cup. "Thank you," she says as Fiona pours her tea and then her own. Then she takes a fortifying sip of the hot liquid before she asks, "So what are your plans, Fiona, now that you've got yourself settled here?"
"Now that the last box is unpacked?" Fiona laughs.
"Yes."
"Adam wants me to go back," she says honestly, looking out of the large window in front of them. "It's funny really. When I moved over from Six, he wasn't at all keen to have me going out in the field and I felt that I couldn't even imagine myself doing anything else. Now, he's the one encouraging me to return."
"Do you not want to?"
"I don't know." She shakes her head, turning to look at Ruth. "I really thought I was going to die, Ruth, and the thought of Wes growing up without me... It doesn't even bear thinking about."
"Yes." She can't imagine how she'd feel if she had a child.
"But I'm starting to miss it too. I'm getting... restless, and there's part of me that doesn't want to concede defeat. I want to go back to prove to myself that I can. It's the same feeling I had after leaving Syria, leaving Farook. I needed to prove to myself that I can do it, that the experience hadn't broken me."
"So, you'll come back?"
"Probably," she sighs, then smiles ruefully. "It's in the blood – spying. I know myself, Ruth. I could never settle for an office job."
Ruth smiles in acknowledgement. She likes her desk job, but even she loves the adrenaline rush of an op, the satisfaction of a job well done, even if things get out of hand sometimes and she ends up tied to the banister by a man she considered a friend.
"What about you, Ruth?" Fiona asks now. "How are things?"
"Good," she nods, dropping her gaze and swallowing nervously. "Really good, actually."
"Oh?" Fiona's eyebrow shoots up and she leans in slightly.
Ruth takes a biscuit and dips it into her tea before bringing it to her mouth and sucking on it.
"It's... um... well, it's part of the reason I wanted to come round today... to talk." She glances up at Fiona to find her eyes on her, gentle and encouraging. "I... um... I thought, well... Harry thought you might... be able to give me some advise."
"Harry thought? He had no advice to give you himself?" Fiona looks intrigued.
"Well, actually... he's the reason really that I need advice." She lifts her eyes to Fiona's again and sees the penny drop.
"Oh!" For a moment, she looks stunned, but then she smiles warmly. "That's wonderful, Ruth."
"It is?" she asks, taken aback. She's been so worried about telling people that she hasn't considered the possibility that people might be happy about it.
"Of course! Isn't it?"
"Yes," she smiles, dropping her gaze and blushing. "It is wonderful."
Fiona grins. "There you go then."
She picks up a piece of the biscuit she's broken into bits without realising and dips it in her tea, popping it into her mouth. "But what will people think? How do I cope with being excluded for dating the boss? How has it been for you?" she asks softly.
"Well, my experience has been a little different to yours. I met Adam in Damascus, as you know. I was his asset first and I guess you could say he recruited me. We fell in love, and as the situation with Farook got progressively more dangerous, he wanted to extract me. He hadn't a shred of authorisation to do that and I wasn't about to leave him there on his own. I knew what Farook was capable of and I wanted to be there to help and protect him." She pauses to take a sip of her tea, looking out the window again, lost in the memories. "After Farook was taken care of and we'd managed to escape and return to Britain, I joined MI-6 and we worked together. We both wanted that."
"I like working with Harry too," she says softly when Fiona looks at her. "I don't want to move to another section."
She smiles. "Nor should you, Ruth. It's important to do what you and Harry want, what you feel is best for you. People will believe what they want to believe, and there will be those who judge you or treat you differently, but there will also be those who know you well and still trust you and consider you a friend. All I can say is that it gets easier with time."
"How?" She knows she sounds a little desperate.
"You feel more secure in your relationship and yourself. You've faced the worst that people can do or say about you and you've survived. When I first started, some people at Six resented me because I'd 'turned Adam's head' and 'made' him disobey orders. Then there were those who didn't believe I merited my job, that I'd only got it because of Adam. And there are always those who are just plain jealous."
"Jealous?"
"Of what Adam and I have – the closeness, working together and going home together, the fact that we have a good, steady relationship, have a son. Some people are just like that. The main thing to remember is that you can't let them ruin it because then they win and you are miserable."
Ruth nods, still looking worried.
"Don't worry so much, Ruth," Fiona smiles suddenly, grasping her arm and giving it a little squeeze. "Adam and I won't treat you any differently. Neither will Zaf, or Malcolm, or Colin. We know you. We know you won't be telling secrets about us to Harry behind our backs. If I asked you to keep this conversation between us, I know I can rely on you to do that."
Ruth smiles. "Yes."
"So? What's there to worry about? Enjoy it, Ruth. Life's so short. And ultimately, the one thing I've learnt from my experience is that, if you believe in yourself and Harry, if you are confident and expect people to treat you no differently, to treat you with the same respect, then they will. People are a mirror. They reflect what you show them you believe and expect."
"I've never thought of it like that." She frowns.
"It's true. Trust me. This is the voice of experience speaking. I wasn't as confident as I appear now when I first started in MI-6 and Adam spent many a night holding me while I cried over something someone said. But in the end, it's what Adam and I had, still do after all this time, that's most important. The rest is just noise. Don't make the mistake of giving what others think, say and do more importance than what you and Harry feel."
"You're right." Ruth smiles now, finally feeling herself relax. "You're right. It doesn't matter what they say as long as Harry and I still love each other."
"Exactly. That's what you need to focus on. And while you're in Section D, you'll have Harry and Adam and me to protect you from most of the unpleasantness."
"Thank you," she says, smiling gratefully at Fiona. "This conversation has made me feel so much better."
"Any time, Ruth." Fiona smiles. "And I mean that. Any time you need to talk, let me know."
Ruth nods, touched by her offer, but before she can reply, the doorbell rings.
"That'll be Wes," Fiona says and gets up to answer the door.
