And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I have sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
- PARAMORE
Deeks' car is still there when I pull back into the parking lot of my apartment building. A part of me knew it would be, just like a part of me feared it would be gone along with his presence in my life.
I exit the car and head to my door as slowly as possible, terrified of what waits for me inside.
He is sitting on my couch, still and silent when I open the door with trembling fingers and walk inside.
I stand a few feet away from him, hands clenched tightly together. "Deeks, I'm sorry."
"What the hell was that, Kensi?" He says it so quietly I wonder if it never happened at all.
"What?"
Pushing himself up off the couch he comes around the coffee table and to stand in front of me. "What was that? What happened?"
"I-I, Deeks." I plead.
"We have a fight and you just leave, Kensi? Just like that?" He shakes his head. "We've had fights before, this isn't our first and it sure as hell won't be our last. So what happened?"
I open my mouth, words on the tip of my tongue that just won't escape. "Deeks." I say again.
"Don't do that! Don't just stand stand saying my name. You can't do that to me, Kens! I would never walk away from you, never, and you know it. This relationship isn't a one way street, we're all in remember? You can't run away and hide whenever the going gets tough."
"I'm sorry." I lift my hand, lightly resting it on his chest. "I'm sorry, Marty."
"Kensi." The word is soft. "Don't use my name as weapon against me."
"I'm not." I insist. "I was wrong, I shouldn't have left and I'm sorry, Marty." I press down on his chest for emphasis. "I'm sorry."
His arms come around my waist and I bury my face in his chest, slowly letting the tears that have built up in my eyes spill.
"I'm sorry." I say again.
"Shh, shh, it's fine, let's just forget about it, Kens. It's in the past."
I pull back and Deeks rubs a thumb across my cheek, wiping away stray tears. "You forgive me too easily." I murmur. "If you'd done that I don't know what I'd do."
"I know I do, Princess. But I can't help it." He laughs and presses a kiss to my forehead.
"But that's the thing!" I persist. "You wouldn't do that, you'd never walk away, I did."
"But you came back." Deeks whispers and leans down, connecting our lips. "You came back." He says again when he pulls away slightly. "I trust you to always come back, Kens. Okay?"
Tilting my head up to kiss him again, I sigh breathing in his smell and feeling like I'm home again. "Okay."
