Phoenix: Chapter Fifty-two

Jane stared out of the small window in the ICU. The shimmering skyscrapers of Esthar had just begun to glow as the sun dipped below the horizon. A large television billboard adorning a nearby building was plastered with Squall's image, the news feed ticking below updating the city on his condition. He looked so full of life in the picture. Even though he was stern and unsmiling, his eyes sparkled like they always did.

It was a far cry from the way he looked now.

She turned her attention to Squall, watching as the puffs from the vent shook his chest. His skin was extremely pale, almost gray. Her eyes moved up and down his torso, committing the horrid sight of his battered body to memory. On his left side, the collateral damage was all too evident. Bruising, dried blood, stitches, bandages, tubes and wires. She watched as the medications from the various pumps bedside dripped into his veins, via the horrible looking port jammed into his neck. The only thing that looked normal was the hand she clung to.

And she refused to let go.

At least there was no more spattered blood, Laguna had seen to that. She had watched as he had lovingly taken a wet cloth and had wiped the dried substance from Squall's hands and arms, then moving to his cheeks, mindful of the breathing tube. He had cried silently as he worked, Jane's heart feeling like it was ripped from her chest.

A wave of nausea swept over her suddenly, as it had been doing all day since the police had come to her classroom. She chalked it up to nerves, even though the doubts in her mind continued to mount. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply though her nostrils, wiling it pass. The faint scent of Squall's cologne, quickly fading in the antiseptic environment of the hospital, tickled her nose. She leaned in close to his head and sniffed, finding the scent stronger in his hair. It calmed her if only for a brief moment, before a wailing alarm startled her from her thoughts. Panic enveloped her.

A nurse ran in, wiggled something on a machine, her hand then moving to Squall's chest and pressing lightly on one of the sensors. The klaxon stopped, and the woman smiled softly. "Just a loose lead. Sorry if it scared you." She patted Squall's leg gently and looked to Jane. "He's doing well, honey. He just needs to get stronger." She excused herself, leaving Jane alone once more.

She stared at Squall, willing him to give her any sort of sign that he was "there." Her thumb stroked his hand. Never in her life would she have imagined someone saying that he needed to get stronger. He was the toughest person she had ever known. To see him like this, comatose and fighting for his life, nearly killed her.

She just wanted to hear his voice again; the smooth tenor that lulled her every time it entered her ears.

"Go and teach my cadets."

The last thing he had said to her. It tumbled over and over in her brain as she tried desperately to commit the sound of it to memory. Her mind wandered to a place she didn't want it to enter. What if she never heard him speak again? What if he didn't survive? She felt her throat close at the idea, her body instinctively shuddering at the thought. She didn't want to live without him.

She couldn't live without him.

Her eyes once again wandered to the skyline of Esthar. Almost no trace of the sunlight remained and the city glowed with an eerie light. She had been sitting in that room for hours. Laguna had left to clean up, promising to return with some dinner for them both. He had tried to encourage her to do the same, but Jane had refused. She wasn't going to leave him.

Jane sighed as tears clung to the rims of her glasses, nausea once again rising in her throat.

XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX

Laguna couldn't believe the blood in his hair. He hadn't realized how much was actually there until he saw it swirling down the shower drain. He briefly wondered how it had gotten there, but then remembered Squall's bloody hand reaching for his face, and his hair sticking to the liquid on his cheeks as he and Kiros desperately tried to save his life.

He stepped out of the shower, his eyes instantly resting on all of Raine's beauty products lining the countertop. After tying a towel around his waist, he picked up a small bottle of her facial lotion. He tumbled it around in his palm. Laguna wanted her to come through the door behind him, to tell him not to mess with her make-up.

His mind wandered to his office, to the soulless look on her face as she pulled a gun on their child. It hadn't been the same woman he left that morning. No trace of the Raine he knew and loved was anywhere within that shell of a woman that had shot Squall.

He daydreamed as he used another towel to wick the moisture from his dripping hair. Over and over he ran the day's events in his mind, his brain trying to make some semblance out of what had happened. He could see the emptiness in Raine's expression, the hollow eyes that didn't track properly. The way she casually uttered, "payback" as she pumped their son full of bullets.

Payback.

What the hell did that mean? What could hurting Squall possibly be payback for?

When his hair was dry enough, he hung the towel on the rack behind him, right next to a lacy bra that Raine had left to drip-dry. He ran his fingers along the smooth satin, deciding to leave it hanging for the moment. Raine would have to put it away when she came home.

When she came home.

Laguna wondered when, and if, that would actually happen. Every fiber in his being screamed at him that she wasn't at fault. That something had snapped in her, something had happened that was beyond her control. He briefly wondered if she had been hypnotized, but mentally scolded himself for thinking such an absurd thought.

Raine didn't have a cruel bone in her body, never had any sinister thoughts or motives. Nothing had seemed out of place the entire time she had been back, except for the circumstances of her arrival. To hear that your dead wife had been resurrected and had been kept in the desert for decades was the biggest shock of his life. His heart had broken for her that day, and for himself, to think that they had lived without each other because of a cruel experiment. He re-lived that day once more, closing his eyes and seeing her in that interrogation room in his mind. She had looked so scared and unsure.

When he had opened that door and laid eyes upon her, it was as if the faeries had given him a gift and he had to mentally pinch himself. When he opened his arms to her embrace, she had hugged him so tight, cried on his bare arm, and professed her unwavering love for him and their family. Everything had gone so perfectly with her transition into normal life.

Then she tried to kill their son.

He sighed as he traced the paisley pattern on the bra's cup with his finger. Twelve hours ago he was kissing her goodbye. She told him not to be late because she was grilling steaks for dinner. Now, she was in police custody and he was standing half-naked in their bathroom contemplating how the day could have gone so terribly wrong.

As he brought his hand back from the delicate undergarment, his thoughts shifted to his son. The image of Squall comatose in the ICU was almost too much for him. He sat on the closed toilet seat and allowed his head to droop. He could still hear the din of the monitors and machines, and could smell the antiseptic odor of the sterile room. He recalled the way Jane had watched silently, tears pooling at the bottoms of her lenses, as he cleaned the dried blood from Squall's skin. It was strange; he had never touched Squall so much at one time before. It had almost crushed Laguna that it took a critical injury to get that close to his son. But, he dutifully wiped the caked blood from each of his fingers before moving up the young man's hands and arms and eventually his face. Laguna made sure it was all gone. He hated the way it looked, just another awful reminder of the day's events.

His skin prickled as the water evaporated and game him a slight chill. Taking that as a sign he should get dressed, he walked into his bedroom and rooted through his closet for some clothes.

He needed to get back.

XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX

The ICU was quieter than it had been the first time Laguna had entered. Most of the visitors had gone home for the night and the nurses were all sitting at the large desk in the middle of the ward. Everything seemed to be calm.

For the moment.

Jane and Laguna had been given special permission to come and go as they pleased, a privilege not usually extended to visitors. Whether it was his Presidential status, or because the nurses felt doubly sorry for the both of them, he hadn't a clue. But he was grateful for their generosity.

After washing his hands at the door, he entered the small room, finding Jane dozing in a chair next to Squall. Her hand was clasped tightly around his limp fingers. A plastic bag in Laguna's hand rustled, causing her eyes to open and scan around the dimly lit room.

"Hey. Didn't mean to startle you." Laguna mustered a small apologetic smile and lifted the sack. "I brought you a turkey sandwich. The nurse says you can't eat it in here, though."

"Thanks. I'm not hungry right now, though. Maybe later." Her eyes left Laguna and rested again on Squall. She sighed. "Nothing's changed."

Laguna set the bag down on the side counter and approached the bed. He stroked Squall's foot lightly through the blankets before sitting across from Jane. "Well, at least that means nothing bad has happened, right?" His eyes were hopeful.

"Yeah, I guess." Jane released her grip on Squall's hand and stretched her arms behind her back, eliciting a pop from her shoulders. "What time is it?"

Laguna ran his thumb back and forth across his son's forearm. "About eight-thirty. You should go home and get some rest. I'll stay with him."

Jane scowled and swallowed hard. "I don't want to leave him, Laguna." Her eyes looked exhausted, and her face was drawn.

"You need to take care of yourself, honey. Go eat something and try and get some sleep. You can't be a good cheerleader if your body gives out." He looked back to Squall. "I promise I won't leave until you get back. Besides, Elle will be arriving soon. I…" He hesitated, knowing that when the young woman arrived it would be traumatic for everyone involved. "..I don't think you want to be around for that. It's gonna be bad."

Jane sighed. "Promise me you'll call if anything changes."

"I give you my word. You'll be the first to know. Now promise me you'll go to bed and sleep. Come back in the morning." He smiled softly.

She leaned forward and touched her forehead to Squall's. Her eyes closed and she exhaled deeply as she whispered. "I'm going to go for a while, Squall. But I promise I'll be back." Tears began to seep from her closed eyelids. "I love you, Leonhart." She moved her face in order to kiss his forehead.

She rounded the bed and Laguna rose to embrace her. He felt her whole body melt into his own as she sighed. "You promise you'll call?"

Laguna squeezed her tightly. "Of course. I'm guessing you'll be at his place?" He felt her nod into his chest. "I'll get my driver to take you home."

She ended their hug and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. She raised her eyes to meet his. "Thank you, Laguna. I'll be back at the crack of dawn."

"Take all the time you need. It's not like he's going anywhere."

XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX

Laguna spent the next few hours staring out the window, dozing every once and a while and being scared shitless every time a nurse or doctor entered the small room. Even though their presence was for nothing more than replacing medication drips, changing bandages and checking vitals, it still unnerved him every time they came. They had assured him that it was all routine monitoring. He was grateful that they seemed to care as much about his own well-being as they did about Squall's. They even let him ask as many questions as he liked, no matter how stupid Laguna thought they sounded.

He had watched as a nurse came and replaced the gauze bandage covering the surgical site on Squall's abdomen. His stomach had turned as she removed the blood-stained fabric, exposing a neat line of staples holding the oozing skin together. She carefully cleansed the area with a sterile solution and covered it with a new gleaming white bandage.

"Why is his skin stapled?"

"It's a big wound, Mister President. Staples hold it together better than sutures."

A doctor had come to do a neurological check, removing the tape from Squall's eyelids. The nurse was right about them not closing all the way. As soon as the adhesive had been removed, they cracked open slightly, allowing Laguna to see the gauze resting underneath. After removing the wet fabric, the doctor had pried each one of Squall's eyes open and shined a penlight back and forth. Laguna was happy to see the blue eyes of his son, even if they were empty. When he finished, he replaced the moistened gauze once again taped the young man's eyes closed.

"What are you checking for?"

"I'm seeing if his pupils are reacting to the light, and they are. That's a good sign."

Keeping his hand enclosed tightly around Squall's, his attention drifted back to the Esthar skyline gleaming in the clear night air. Movement in the sky caught his eye and as an object skimmed the horizon and came closer. He could make out the familiar silhouette of the Ragnarok as it moved in and out behind buildings.

Elle would be here soon.

He turned back to Squall. "Your sister's gonna be here in a little while. So, you'd better be on your best behavior. No alarms, got it?" He wished the young man would squeeze his hand back, as a sign that he had heard. Instead, he just laid silent and unmoving.

A nurse came in again, patting Laguna on the shoulder as she moved behind him to check the monitors. He noticed that she frowned at one of the readouts.

"Something wrong?" He tried to keep the panic in his voice from rising.

"Not really. His blood pressure still seems to be fluctuating. The doctor will probably want to change the dosage of some medications, that's all. I'll be back in a minute." She smiled sweetly. "Don't worry, Mister President."

'Don't worry'. That's easy for you to say. Your kid's not in a coma with a breathing tube shoved down his throat.

He watched as she left, tears beginning to sting his eyes. He knew he had to compose himself. Ellone would be arriving soon, and she would need him to be strong. He took a cleansing breath and closed his eyes.

Be cool, Loire. For Elle's sake and yours.

Laguna sat back in his chair, trying to settle his rear into the extremely uncomfortable seat. He shifted his hips and scowled, wishing he had that plush chair from the waiting room. At least that thing was somewhat comfortable. His current seat felt as if it had been crafted by blind Tonberries.

Unable to find a reasonably comfortable position, he sighed and stood, stretching his neck upwards to work out the kinks. He stared at the ceiling for a moment as he rolled his head back and forth. Lowering his head, his eyes rested on Squall once more.

The color of his skin bothered Laguna. It was pale, the only color variations being the bruises on his ribcage. The extra blood that slowly coursed into his veins didn't seem to be making a difference. Laguna sighed and moved towards the window, unable to look at the figure in the bed any more. It was breaking his heart.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared out at the bustling city, as it seemed to never sleep. Even though it was past midnight, people jammed the streets and traffic was moving at a swift pace on the outer roads encircling the metropolis. He stood for what seemed like hours, watching the ebb and flow of motion beneath the window.

For a split second, he hated those people down there. They all seemed happy, carefree. No worries, no child laying unresponsive just feet away. Laguna wanted everything back to normal.

He tapped his hand on the windowsill, his ring clicking against the metal. He sighed as he lifted and turned his hand to let the band catch the light of the room. Laguna stared at it for a long moment before closing his fingers tightly into a fist. Anger welled up inside of him.

Anger at Raine.

He was furious with her for doing what she had done. With two squeezes of a trigger, she had potentially shattered their family. He wanted to scream at her, beg her for answers as to why she shot Squall. He envisioned himself taking her by the shoulders and shaking, pleading for her to shed light on the whole situation.

Laguna mentally chastised himself for thinking such terrible thoughts about his wife. Yes, she had shot their child. But there had to have been a reason why. She couldn't have just snapped. Where did she get the weapon? And what was the meaning behind what she had said as she fired the pistol?

He remembered the monotone melody of her voice. No feeling, no emotion.

Lifeless.

What would she need payback for, and why would it involve Squall? Laguna's head was beginning to spin with all the emotions running rampant within his exhausted brain.

Nothing made any sense to him. He couldn't understand what would make a mother want to hurt her own child. He thought back to the morning, how Raine had looked so empty and distant. What could have happened in those few hours in between him leaving and her arriving with the gun?

Laguna realized that there was no way she could have been aware of what she was doing. He exhaled deeply as he once again took his vigil spot next to Squall. He told himself that Kiros would have something for him soon. He just had to.

Then maybe he could find the strength to see Raine.

XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX

Ellone ran through the hospital, Ryan desperately trying to keep up with her. She felt as if her feet were adorned with rockets and she had no control over herself. She sprinted down the long hallway to the ICU, willing herself to wake up from what had to be a terrible nightmare.

She got to the door and scowled when it wouldn't open. She pulled on the giant doors to no avail. She was just about to pound on them when Ryan caught up and grabbed her gently by the shoulders, pulling her back.

"Sweets, the door won't open for you. You need to ring the call button, see?" He pointed to a small white sign with blaring red wording as he pressed the crimson switch beside it.

"Yes?"

Ellone fought to keep the panic in her voice from yelling into the intercom. "My name is Ellone. My brother…" Before she could even finish speaking, the door automatically began to open, she and Ryan stepping back to avoid being knocked over by the swinging panels.

She rushed into the ICU, immediately hit by the noise of machines and alarms. She approached the desk where a nurse stood and came around the side. "If you'll follow me, Miss." She extended her hand for the two to follow.

Ellone couldn't help but look into the small rooms that had opened curtains as she walked past. The patients in them all looked terrible. She willed herself to stay calm as the nurse stopped at a glass door partially open and obscured by a drape.

"Please wash your hands before going in. Your Uncle is waiting." The nurse laid a comforting hand on Ellone's back and patted as she walked back to the nurse's station.

After drying their hands, Ryan grasped her bicep gently and guided her into the room, pushing the sliding glass door open to allow them both to pass.

Ellone's eyes adjusted slowly to the dim light of the room, her eyes falling on the motionless figure in the bed. She gasped and immediately began to weep. Laguna stood and immediately rushed to her side, holding her in the tightest embrace since she was a small child.

"Oh, Uncle Laguna! I prayed that this was some horrible mistake. But it isn't, is it?" She sobbed into his chest, unwilling to turn and look at her brother. Something in her brain was still trying to tell her that this wasn't real.

"I'm afraid this is all too real, Elle."

Never releasing her grip on Laguna, she slowly turned both their bodies so she could gingerly look at Squall.

The sight terrified her.

Her brother lay silent and unmoving on the bed, tubes and wires attached to what seemed like every available piece of exposed skin. The breathing tube in his throat screamed at her and she watched in horror as the machine attached to it forced artificial breaths into his lungs. Her knees suddenly began to give out, and Laguna quickly tightened his embrace on her to keep her from collapsing to the floor. He guided her to the seat on the right side of Squall and eased her down.

Ellone put her face in her hands and attempted to calm her breathing. She was bordering on hyperventilation. "Is he…going to…be okay?"

Laguna knelt in front of his niece, cupping her chin in his hand and guiding her head to look at him. "The doctors say he's stable right now, and that he just needs to get stronger. But, it's gonna be a long haul. They've got him in a coma on purpose right now help him heal." He let go of her chin and placed his hands on both of her cheeks. "We've all got to be strong for him Elle, if we want him to come back to us, alright?"

Ellone closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before nodding. "Okay." She exhaled a long breath and opened her eyes again, looking to Squall. "Can I hold his hand?"

Laguna rose. "Of course. Just watch out for all the wires and stuff."

Ellone gingerly extended a shaking hand and lightly touched Squall's fingers. She then enclosed her own around his hand and squeezed. "Tell me what happened, please. Kiros was very vague." She looked up to Laguna with wet eyes. "Was it really Raine?"

Laguna let his head droop. "Yes."

Ellone sighed, unable to process why she would do such a thing. She told herself to stay calm and listen to what Laguna had to say. There just had to be an explanation.

"She came into the office, and it was like she was hollow. It wasn't her, Elle; she wasn't like that when I left this morning. She muttered something about 'payback' and shot him with a gun she had hidden in her waistband." He gently rubbed Squall's calf through the thin blanket. "The police were there in a heartbeat, and hauled her away while Kiros and I did CPR until the paramedics came."

Ellone's body began to shake. "I can't believe that she would do something so heinous. Is she talking to the police? I mean, something had to have happened to make her snap."

Laguna once again knelt in front of her, laying a comforting hand on her thigh. "Kiros is working with the police. He's going to figure this out, Elle. He's gonna exonerate her somehow, I just know it. We all know that Raine would never in her right mind do anything to harm Squall, or any of us." He looked to the still figure in the bed. "If anyone can figure this out, it's him."

Ellone nodded slowly, then looked towards her silent brother. She hated this. He looked so helpless and vulnerable. She wanted to hear his voice, telling her, "Don't worry, Sis. I'm strong." She squeezed his limp hand, his fingertips cold.

"Have you seen her since this morning?"

Laguna shook his head. "No. I knew if I went before Kiros had something for me, I might…" He paused, a guilty look crossing his face. "…I might lash out at her. My emotions are haywire right now, and I don't want to say anything rash. I need to wait, for both our sakes."

Ellone could hear the pain in Laguna's voice. It broke her heart to see him like this. She knew how madly in love with Raine he was—he had always been, and it must have been killing him inside to be furious with her.

Laguna rose once again, bending momentarily to kiss her on the cheek. "Look, I gotta use the little boy's room. I'll leave you alone for a while so you can have some private time with him." He placed his hand over hers, covering both Ellone's and Squall's. "I'll be back in a little while, okay?"

She just nodded, exhaustion settling in. Laguna left, pausing to shake Ryan's hand on the way out. The young man approached his fiancée, a weak, supportive smile on his face. "Do you want me to give you a minute with him?"

Ellone raised her eyes to meet his, tears streaming down her cheeks in the process. "Maybe for a few moments. Is that alright?"

Ryan smiled. "Of course. I'll be right outside the door." He tilted her head up and kissed her softly. "You remember this, sweets: He's the toughest person I have ever met. If anyone can bounce back from something like this, it's your brother."

He left, leaving Ellone alone with Squall. She sat quietly for a long moment, watching the flashing lights on the various monitors. She couldn't help but be strangely mesmerized by the ventilator supplying breaths to Squall. She watched as it forced air into his lungs, his chest rising abruptly before falling in a somewhat normal exhale. She hoped he didn't feel it.

"Squall? I'm here now." She curled her fingers around his. "I wish I could make this all go away."

She could feel the tears beginning again, and her chest began to shake with sobs. "I'm so scared, Squall. You look terrible." She leaned over to kiss his forehead. "You have to stay with us. Raine didn't do this of her own free will. You have to stick around to see that. Kiros will find something, I just know it."

She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, willing the budding headache behind them to go away. After a moment, she began humming a familiar tune. She didn't know why exactly, but it calmed her nonetheless. A small smile graced her lips as she began to sing quietly. She hoped somewhere; somehow her baby brother could hear her. She hadn't sung this lullaby to him since they were at the orphanage together, but she felt as if it would soothe them both on this horrible day.

Whenever you feel all alone…always remember I love you…

Whenever you feel sad and blue…always remember I love you…

I may not always be there…but we can never be truly apart…

Whenever you miss me…always remember, I…love…you.

Ellone couldn't control her emotions any longer, and she broke down. Tears streamed out of her eyes and onto her jeans, and she held Squall's hand tightly with no intention of letting go any time soon.