CHAPTER FIFTY ONE
Daniel rubbed his eyes, waking up in the darkness of his living room. Blinking, he wondered why he was up after finally being able to drift off. After hours of poking and prodding, blood tests and then more blood tests to ensure his and Dan's nanocytes were truly dissolving back into their bloodstream, Daniel felt like a vampire had sucked him dry, his bones crumbled to dust. It was a draining time in the infirmary, pretending to be okay under the stare the alternate Janet Frasier was giving him and the close proximity of his Janet Fraiser as she checked him over. Daniel wanted nothing more than to crawl into the first bunk available and push off the debriefing and memories for another day.
And then, Dan wanted to leave the base.
"Look, I feel fine." Sitting up on the gurney, Dan nodded towards Daniel as he argued with Warner. "Stop poking me. I hardly have any blood left after you drained me dry!"
Daniel looked away as John gave him an exasperated look. "Was this your idea?"
"No," Daniel mumbled, glaring at Sam as she gave him no help at all. Sam was pretending to talk to her counterpart as Hansen waited for a checkup with great protesting herself. So he shot one to Jack, who was keeping an eye on the alternate Fraiser. Jack looked over his shoulder before whistling innocently as he turned away. Daniel hesitantly accepted a glass of water from Doctor Fraiser, the woman giving him an awkward pat on the knee before leaving to give him some space. Daniel hid his next response behind the glass. "It was Jack's."
"What?"
Dan clamped his hands over his ears and sounded annoyed. "Thanks, I didn't really need my hearing, John."
"Why the hell do you want to go out there right now?"
"The colonel...I mean, Jack, offered to show us the town, celebrate before we head back." Dan stuck out his lower lip. "It's only for a day. Then we have to go back and work—"
"I work, you rest."
"Anyway," Dan went on, giving his brother a glare. "It'll be nice..." He gave a small smile. "To see the world as it used to be. Gives us something to look forward to."
John fell silent.
"Besides, I feel fine. Hell, I never felt better! That thing is unbelievable!" Dan swung his arms, nearly toppling off the gurney until John steadied him. Sheepishly, Dan shrugged.
"I just don't like the idea of us driving back and forth from the town to the base!" John was still feebly protesting.
"You wouldn't have to. The colonel said we could stay over at Daniel's place."
Daniel sputtered out water, choking. Alarmed, Sam pounded his back as he shot Jack a scowl.
After hours of sitting in a cramped car which John had grumpily called "The dingy jeep from hell" and Jack's wild driving around the town with his skills taking a downhill dive as his enthusiasm went up, Daniel was feeling very nauseous. He knew Jack was trying to distract him, could sense the older man's eyes on the back of his head when he was sitting in the infirmary, watching their Doctor Frasier sedate the former Hathor. And the more Daniel tried to brood, the louder Jack got, which annoyed the hell out of John since he was trying to get Dan to rest. And Sam and Teal'c were under some conspiracy, apparently, constantly pointing out things and then leaving Daniel to play tour guide. And Daniel caught the looks exchanged by all of his teammates. It seemed the colonel was very determined to not let Daniel have a chance to take time in his own office, to finally have a chance to sort everything out on his own. Because before Daniel could point out it was late and they might want to rest on the base instead, Jack was already suggesting they get a take-out dinner and eat it in Daniel's apartment.
While Jack argued with John about what to get, menus being tossed back and forth between Sam's patient explanations to Teal'c about what each food contained, Daniel and Dan were awkwardly conversing, making idle chat about the places and sites they'd both visited. But neither one of them wanted to truly compare notes and ended up just looking at Daniel's book collection. Leaving Dan to explore his shelves, Daniel plopped down on his couch, watching the others argue about sweet and sour pork and spicy chicken.
At some point, Daniel dozed off on the couch in the middle of the chaos and dreamed of glowing eyes, women whose faces changed from smiling to sneers, and hands that refused to leave him alone. When he woke up later with a soft gasp, he found an afghan was tucked around him, a throw pillow behind his head and Jack's piercing gaze on him again as the older man waited for him to wake up for dinner. Jack said nothing though, merely joking they were going to eat his share of the food, patting him on the back before going to the table and beginning an argument with John about who ordered the Kung Pao chicken.
Now it was nightfall, the brothers getting Daniel's bedroom with everyone else sacked in the living room. After a night of scanning his books, Daniel discreetly pulling one aside to slip to Dan when they left for their universe, he felt the nighttime lull to close his eyes, nightmares be damned. He nearly sagged with relief when everyone reluctantly bade each other good night, Sam settling for a spot on the other couch, Teal'c opting for the hallway leading to the door, Jack in the armchair, Daniel on the couch. But the moment he lay down and closed his aching eyes, the dreams came again. Hands touching him, voices calling him names, the feeling of being too young to stop what was happening to him, and the vicious cycle of watching a certain exotic pair of eyes close over and over again. They kept him startling awake, legs kicking out as he softly gasped and leaving him even more exhausted. His limbs felt like lead weights, dragging him down. Daniel thought he would have slept until the next afternoon.
"Sorry."
Jackson started when he saw his own face peering down at him, a pale version emerging out of the darkness. Dan O'Neill tilted his head at him, chin resting on the back of the couch.
"Did I wake you?" he whispered, brushing back a long bang as it kept dipping forward to his eyes.
Daniel ran the tip of his tongue nervously over his lower lip. "Um…not really…couldn't sleep."
"John's snoring is too loud." Dan grinned crookedly, nodding towards the partly shut door where strange sounds floated out.
Daniel winced. They sounded oddly like the ones Jack was making from the armchair across from him.
"Sorry, maybe we should have stayed on the base instead," Daniel offered with a sheepish grin. His counterpart shook his head.
"No. I wanted to see this place before we went back." Dan O'Neill surveyed the room, his eyes resting on the swords hanging from the walls, then to the filled bookshelves lit under moonlight shining through Daniel's living room window. A small smile tugged at his mouth.
"I wanted to see how the world can be when I go home."
Daniel nodded as the other laughed softly.
"God, that sounds so…weird."
"No…it doesn't," Daniel replied in a serious voice. "Not many people…really have that chance…to see the worst and return to something…better." He looked down at his lap, his pilled blanket suddenly fascinating.
Dan stared at Jackson and swore softly. Daniel blinked in surprise.
"I was right." O'Neill looked at his twin sadly. "You did have Lily."
Stiffening, Daniel swung his legs over to the floor. "I don't know what you're talking about. Every reality has a difference somewhere."
"Not here…not with her…"
Daniel sat there, staring at Jack dozing away happily in the armchair, head tilted back, mouth open, his bandaged hand crossed over his stomach, butterfly bandages on his forehead. He could see Sam on the other couch, stretched out, concealed under the spare blanket and Teal'c cross-legged in the hallway leading to his door. He shook his head, then covered his face with his hands.
"She's…is she still…around?" Dan asked in a small voice.
"No," Daniel replied in the same tone. "Car crash."
"Oh." His twin fell silent. He stared at the back of Daniel's head. Then, clearing his throat, he asked in a solemn voice.
"How long?"
Too long. Daniel stared at his friends between his fingers, the team oblivious to the conversation, but it comforted him to see them there, sprawled on his furniture.
"Daniel?" Dan made a face. "God that sounds so weird saying my own name!"
Jackson laughed, barely audible as if he was trying to keep quiet to not wake the others.
"Daniel?" the other said again.
"T-till…'til I was nine."
"Jesus," Dan breathed.
Daniel nodded. "It wasn't so bad…he left her and she sort of…mellowed out."
Dan snorted. "Yeah, right."
"She left for California after that," Daniel went on dully. "To be an actress."
"Well," Dan laughed bitterly, "she knew how to put up a front, that's for sure."
"Hadn't heard from her until the accident a few years ago," Daniel went on as if he hadn't heard him.
"So she never came back…looking for you…her golden child?" Dan grated out the words.
Daniel whipped up his head at that.
"She did…didn't she?" Dan O'Neill's eyes narrowed. "She tried to take you with her? Say she was the only one who really cared about you…despite your…flaws?"
Jackson bit his lip and turned back his head.
"You went with her, didn't you? When she drove up to you after school? You believed every word she said about how no one else would want you and you went with her. She threatened to make trouble with your new folks, huh?"
"Stop it."
"And she hadn't changed one bit. Am I right? She was still that same old goddamn-"
"Stop it!" Daniel hissed.
Jack grumbled out loud, mumbling some fragmented words. The two men froze, waiting for him to go back to sleep. When the colonel settled into deeper slumber, Daniel sighed.
"Sorry," Dan whispered.
"It's in the past…I got away, and they placed me with someone else, okay?" Daniel said in a flat voice.
"John stopped her from getting me."
Daniel blinked. "Oh."
"I wish it was the same for you, Daniel Jackson."
The archeologist closed his eyes briefly. He stared at the floor, noting his left sock had a hole in it. The two men said nothing, O'Neill resting his chin on the back of Daniel's couch, Jackson toeing his carpet. Then finally, in the softest of whispers, Daniel replied.
"Me too."
Heads bowed, the two said nothing again. Then, Daniel looked up and said shyly, "I know…it's not…something within our control…I mean…nothing ever seems to be, but I can't shake the feeling that…well..." Daniel shrugged, "Like I should be…apologizing."
"A…apologizing?"
Daniel flushed, grateful that the room was too dark for anyone to see. "Um…for us being able to get rid of Ra back then and—"
"And we couldn't," Dan finished with an understanding smile. "Yeah…I can see why I…I mean, you…would feel obliged to say something." He paused, scratching his chin with his thumb.
"It's weird…but I feel like apologizing, too."
"You?"
Dan shrugged as he saw Daniel turn around to him, puzzled.
"You know…for the Lilys of your life…for the Johns who weren't there to get you away from them…"
"Oh." Daniel faced front again. "That."
"I'm sorry you had to be alone all that time, Daniel." Dan didn't even question that. He saw the slump in Daniel's shoulders and just knew. He saw himself maybe thirty years younger, sitting on some bench as social workers argued about him like he was only a file on their desk.
"I'm not alone any more."
Dan blinked. Daniel turned around again, a sad smile curving his lips.
"Yeah…" Dan looked over to the sleeping Jack, and then his eyes drifted to the rest of the team. Dan nodded. "I can see that."
The colonel answered with a louder snore.
Both Daniels winced.
"But I have to admit," Daniel whispered, "I do…envy you at times…you have more years of good memories than I have. During the whole time, I wondered—"
"What you could have done to change your life," Dan finished.
Daniel nodded.
"But we can't change what happened, huh? Not the past. No matter how hard we wish, it can never be changed. Nothing can be changed," Dan murmured, looking back at the bedroom where John was.
"Only how you see the past."
The two men jumped at the sleepy voice. Looking at each other and realizing neither one of them said that, they turned simultaneously towards the only one it could have been.
Jack cracked one eye open, still scrunched up uncomfortably in the armchair. He turned his face, pressing against the armrest and eyed the two before groaning.
"Okay…either I had one way too many…or that alternate reality…thing…really occurred."
"You had one too many," both Daniels chorused. The older man sat up and glared at them.
"Stop that." Jack waved at them with his bandaged hand, the other scratching his stomach. "That's…that's…freaky, you know."
The two men looked at each other and grinned. They turned back and said in puzzled voices, "What?"
"I said quit it!" The colonel glowered at them as he settled into the seat. He rubbed his face with his hands and shook his head, muttering, "For crying out loud…"
Both Daniels, Jackson and O'Neill, sobered immediately as they realized their conversation had had an audience. Jack studied the two and rolled his eyes.
"What's all this talk about changing?" Jack sank deeper into the chair and made a face. He had to talk to Daniel someday about getting better furniture.
"Nothing," Dan murmured, looking down at his double.
Daniel just shrugged.
"Is this about…Grove Park in Chicago?" Jack's voice cut the silence like a sharp knife.
Daniel stilled. Dan just sighed, crossing his arms in front of him.
"Let's just say…it's really hard to decide who's the lucky one here," Dan O'Neill finally spoke.
Daniel didn't say anything at all, brooding.
"Uh…I think John stopped sawing wood." Dan fidgeted. He got up awkwardly, swaying a bit. He waved his hand when he saw the others standing up to help. "No, that's alright. I'm okay…just have to get used to…walking on my own two feet now." The young man didn't look at all upset with the idea. He took a deep breath and carefully made his way back towards the bedroom where his brother was.
"Night." Jack called out as the door quietly shut. He turned back to Daniel, studying him in the dark. "So..."
Daniel poked at his blanket, making a show of flipping it out. "Well, Jack. Didn't mean to wake you. Good night—"
"Hold it right there, buddy."
Daniel's shoulders slumped. "Jack, I really don't want to talk about it now."
"You didn't want to talk about it then, but we had a mission to concentrate on. I'll give you that, but mission's over, and the bad guys are dead. And I said when this was over, we were talking." Jack sat there waiting, his eyes pinning Daniel through the dim lighting.
The blanket twisting within Daniel's fist, the archeologist leaned back into the couch. "No matter what I say, Jack, what's done is done."
The couch gave as Jack sat next to him. "So then talking about it wouldn't do much, huh?"
Daniel nodded.
"But it'll make you feel better."
"No, it won't," Daniel said softly. "It'll only remind me of how I should have done something then, like Dan did. And then..."
"And then things would have been different?"
Head against the couch, Daniel stared at the ceiling. He could sense Jack watching him before he leaned back on the couch himself.
"I wondered that myself when we were back there," Jack confessed. Startled blue eyes blinked at him in the darkness.
"You?"
"I do think at times, Daniel."
The archeologist bit back a smile. "Oh. I didn't know about th—Ow." His left eye twitched as Jack swatted him with his own throw pillow.
"Just some things aren't worth thinking about to death." Jack stretched his neck, peering at Carter and Teal'c, making sure they were still asleep. "Remembering is fine, Daniel. But beating yourself over the head with the 'if onlys' and 'why' will only get you locked up in a padded room." Jack stopped, wanting to smack a hand on his forehead. Great going, mister.
"Nothing new..." Daniel joked weakly. He lowered his head. "I tried, Jack. I did. I tried to stop...thinking during this..."
"Mission?"
"Can it really be called just a mission?" Making a face, Daniel covered his eyes with the back of his arm.
"Daniel, no mission is ever just a mission." Jack counted down on his fingers, pretending to list them all. "I mean, how many just quote unquote standard missions have we had anyway? Let's see there was...no, had a bunch of flesh hungry natives—"
"Cannibals, Jack."
"Yeah, whatever. Oh, there was that purple flower planet. Kinda nice...no, wait. It made you all wheezy and Carter all loopy—"
"That was my allergies and the pollen had an intoxicating effect on women," Daniel corrected him, smiling briefly as he knew where was Jack going with all this. "I'm not saying you regard this as only a mission, but it just seems to me the term doesn't fit."
"So what would?" Jack folded his arms, wincing as his aching thumb protested and lowered them. He looked sideways at Daniel.
Daniel sat forward, chin on his clasped hands, staring at the window past Jack's chair. After a moment, he turned his face towards Jack, looking tired.
"A revelation."
Jack nodded. The word seemed to fit. He pursed his lips, reading the fine lines etched around Daniel's eyes and mouth. "Doesn't look like it was a very good revelation for you though."
"No...It wasn't."
The two men dropped into an uncomfortable silence. Jack poked at the carpet under his foot, noting Daniel was doing the same. Sighing to himself, Jack banged the back of his head on the couch, frustrated.
So much for talking, he groused.
"I don't like to realize I could have done something more," Daniel said abruptly.
Jack turned his head but didn't say anything, letting Daniel continue.
"I...He..." A heavy sigh escaped Daniel's lips. The archeologist shivered, arms around himself as he stared at the carpet below. "I could have left that day, Jack. Not turned back, maybe encountered someone who would have helped me, who might have believed me."
"Grove Park?"
Daniel nodded, closing his eyes. "She...I mean...I wasn't exactly a model child then, not really talkative and all, and I guess it frustrated most parents. They didn't want to deal with a grieving baby, just a happy one."
Jack frowned. "As much as I liked to think I was a super father, kids aren't happy all the time. That's the parents' job to make sure they are most of the time."
"If only..." Daniel's voice drifted away with a wistful tone. He shook his head, expression darkening. "When they finally placed me in another home, I know they tried...stuff to make sure I knew it wasn't my fault and that she was just sick in her mind, but..." Daniel rubbed at his cheek, almost feeling one of her stinging slaps. "She said she was my new mother, Jack. I thought..." He abruptly sat up higher. "This is stupid. That was almost a lifetime ago when I was a child. I don't know why I'm still bothered by—"
"Is she still alive?" Jack broke in. Daniel stared at him.
"No...Car accident. Why do you want to know?"
Jack glowered at his own socks. "Too bad," he muttered. Otherwise, I would have a few words to say to that bitch.
"Jack?"
The colonel looked over to him and shrugged. "Nothing, just wondering if, you know, if she was still around to bother you any more."
"Even if she was alive, Jack," Daniel pointed out, "She would be in her mid fifties, maybe early sixties by now. Hardly the same monster in my closet."
Jack frowned at Daniel's words. "That bad, huh?"
"Not any more." Sitting back, Daniel blinked towards the ceiling. "And if I had had the courage to do something about it earlier, the worst stuff wouldn't have happened at all."
Turning his head, Jack gave Daniel's left knee a poke with his finger. "You were just a child then, Daniel. You were left under her care, and you trusted her. You shouldn't have had to worry about the person who should have been taking care of you."
"But if I'd only said something to someone," Daniel fretted. "Or left that car that day. But...God, I feel like an idiot!" Daniel got up from the couch and stumbled around Sam to get to the kitchen.
Jack watched Daniel circle around the kitchen, suddenly at a loss why he even went there in the first place. Jack's brow furrowed, mouth twitching as he thought how unfair it was for his friend to get a woman like that after losing his parents. It just wasn't right. Jack rose and went after him, giving Carter a wary glance to see if she was still asleep; otherwise, Daniel was going to clam up with an audience. He found Daniel with the fridge open, staring at the half jar of pickles and the leftover take-out sitting on the top shelf.
"Daniel." Jack pulled his friend back as the archeologist snagged two beers and gave Jack's bandaged hand a dubious look before helping him open the twist caps. Jack arched an eyebrow at the offered alcohol but took it as they both sat at the kitchen table. He grunted at the label. "Nice."
"I don't like drinking a lot of beer, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate what it can do," Daniel mumbled as he tipped the bottle back.
Jack blinked as the archeologist took a too long guzzle. He reached over and pulled the bottle back down onto the table. Daniel coughed, hand over mouth, swallowing the drink with a gulp.
"Forgetting is not the answer."
Daniel gave Jack a disbelieving look. The colonel shrugged.
"Look, I know what I said a few years ago to you, but there are some things you can't forget no matter how hard you try. You just have to...deal."
"Deal," repeated Daniel. He gave a small snort. "There's nothing to deal with, Jack. It's done with, over." Daniel pulled the bottle close to his mouth again.
"So why did I keep hear her name pop up, huh?"
Daniel's bottle lowered.
"Not too many Goa'ulds running around with that name, Daniel." Jack set his beer down, waiting. "At least, none we've met."
"Watching them...a different version of me and it just all came back to tell me how weak I was then, too scared to stop her from doing all those...bad things to me." Daniel tapped the bottle mouth with his index finger. "And then H—" Daniel abruptly took another sip, sputtering as he lowered the bottle a little too loudly. Jack darted his eyes back to the living room, but no one was stirring.
"They could have been twins, Jack."
The colonel turned back to Daniel.
"Her and...and Li—" Daniel took another gulp of beer. "The way they were...They could have been twins."
A chill went down Jack's spine, and he found he needed to take a long swig of beer himself.
Daniel blinked blearily, the alcohol numbing his brain. His head bobbed a bit before he sat higher to rouse himself. "And then...Sha—" He paused, something sad fleeting across his face and corrected himself. "Then Jolinar came by and it was like for once in my life, I could get back something good that was taken away from me."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her sooner," Jack told him quietly.
Daniel shook his head. "I think...if I did know who the whole time was there, it would have been...worse. To have her so close and know she felt nothing for me because she wasn't the same woman who came by a hut one late evening and offered...offered the world..." The young man lowered his head to his hands, his voice muffled, breaking. His hands curled around strands of his own hair, forcing the locks into sharp spikes between his fingers. "God, Jack...I miss her so much...it physically hurts..."
Jack had no words to respond to that and ended up miserably swirling the beer within the amber bottle in his hands. He watched Daniel sit there, hunched over, his own beer forgotten, soft sounds of gulping heard in place of conversation. Jack scratched the bottle's raised surface around the logo, wishing he could think of something to say, something that would shed all this damn darkness so everything would be status quo again. But instead, all he could think of was how nice the glass would sound if he smashed the bottle across the room, whether for himself or for Daniel, it didn't matter.
"Remember that question I asked you?" Daniel asked softly, not looking up. "Back when they took the quantum mirror away?"
Jack nodded. "Uh huh."
Blue eyes went through him as Daniel raised his head. "Do you have an answer for me now? Why are we witnessing these alternate universes?"
"Things...things happen for a reason, Daniel."
"Oh? Then can you tell me the reason, Jack?"
Jack moistened his mouth, clearing his throat, acutely aware of the almost desperate plea in Daniel's gaze, a wild need for a quick fix to make everything better. God, Jack knew the feeling—from Iraq to every sunny day when he would keep hearing the same gunshot over and over again. Jack had always wanted someone to show up, say a whole crock full of bull at him so he could swallow it like some magic pill and all the pain would go away. But all Jack got was a silent, accusing wife, and a damn gun he cradled like a babe until a pair of uniforms dared to walk into his kid's room to speak with him. Jack looked back at Daniel and saw the same yearning for a simple answer to everything. Before he could regret it, even argue with himself that life was never that simple, he said quietly, "To remind us things could have been a lot worse."
Daniel stared at him.
"Daniel, their world...that could have been us." Jack leaned back in his seat, waiting for Daniel's reaction.
"A lot...worse?"
Nodding, Jack said nothing else.
When Daniel lowered his head again, Jack's shoulders slumped. He knew the answer was lame, feeble, but it was all he could think of, the only reason he could figure why the powers that be screwed them over so badly, then smacked a different universe in their faces and taunted them with what ifs.
"That could have been us," whispered Daniel. He didn't look up, hand to his forehead as he massaged his temples, wincing as fingertips felt the puckered scars of the puncture marks and lowered his hands. "Sha're...she was married, Jack. Had children, living on Abydos until she watched her family destroyed." Daniel shook his head sadly, his hand now snaking over to grab the neck of his beer bottle. "Can you imagine what it must be like...to lose your family before your eyes? Just like that?" Voice lowering to barely a whisper, Daniel softly said, "You wouldn't want to live because you're all alone."
"Then Jolinar came."
Daniel nodded. "Sha're hid there inside because she already felt...dead." His brow furrowed, face scrunching up as grief cracked through for one brief moment before he shuddered, reining it back in.
"I think I know how she feels."
I bet you do, Jack thought. "But that wasn't your wife, Daniel. The Sha're I knew...she would have fought along with Jolinar every step of the way and been there for all of that."
"She was grieving, Jack," Daniel said in a tight voice. "Not everyone can do that. It's just too hard after losing so much."
"And that's the point." Jack smiled as Daniel looked up with wide eyes. "Your Sha're wouldn't have hid, Daniel. She was trapped in Amonet for so long, and in the end, she still came through to reach you."
Daniel stared at Jack for a long time, mouth slightly open. He closed his mouth, lower lip sticking out as he thought about it and then slowly nodded his head once.
"You're right. Sha're would have fought." Absently rubbing his arm with one hand, Daniel stared blankly at his beer. "God, could you imagine? This world under Ra's control? He was like...I think he really believed he was a god at some point. He was ruthless, Jack. This world would have crumbled."
"But we got him before he could touch this planet again," Jack murmured. "And we got him off that planet." He raised his beer. "I say that makes this a pretty good day, Danny boy."
Daniel blinked at the nickname. He looked at Jack, then turned towards the direction of the bedroom and slowly smiled. "Hear, hear." He raised his bottle and clinked it against Jack's. Together, they took a long drink in toast.
SG1SG1SG1
SG1SG1SG1
SG1SG1SG1
The gleam in the youth's eyes was nothing like the boy he knew. Jack stood there, gun wavering, wincing as he watched Daniel kneel, frozen under the grip of Klorel's ribbon device.
"O'Neill! You must hurry!" Teal'c was shouting for him to shoot, and Jack knew if Daniel could speak, he might scream for him to do the same.
"Skaara!" he shouted to the young man, but Klorel didn't turn, sneering down at Daniel as the archeologist began to shake with pain. "Don't!" Jack warned again. Look at me, he wanted to yell. Look at me, and fight him!
But Skaara didn't look, and Jack could have sworn he heard the ribbon device increase in pitch.
So he fired. Once. Twice, spinning Skaara/Klorel away from Daniel, who fell in a lifeless heap on the floor. Klorel looked at O'Neill as if saying "Why?" before he dropped to the ground.
With a start, Jack jerked awake, heart hammering with the memory. He kept telling himself Skaara was alive here, still waiting for rescue, that what had happened back in the other reality was not a premonition. He tried to raise his hand to wipe the sweat off his face when he heard a murmur. Looking down, he saw the top of Daniel's head balanced precariously on his shoulder.
Grimacing, Jack remembered they were going to knock off a few beers after they'd settled on the couch, figuring they were both too keyed up to sleep. And just as Jack had suspected, Daniel dozed off, head tilted back on the couch, his third bottle still unopened in his limp hands. So Jack tugged the afghan up to Daniel's chin, plucked the beer out of his fingers and finished it for him. Somewhere down the road, Jack fell asleep too, and Daniel slid sideways onto him.
"Boy, if only I had a camera."
Jack glared at Carter who was sitting up on the other couch, rubbing her eyes with a wicked grin. She looked pointedly at Daniel, the archeologist oblivious to the attention as he slept.
"Why?" Jack grumbled as he moved Daniel's hand under the blanket, noting it was cold.
"Blackmail material," Carter quipped, chuckling as her CO shot her a smothering glare.
"You wouldn't."
Carter only waggled her eyebrows. She turned her head, nodding as Teal'c rose to his feet. The two stood there in front of the couch.
Jack would have sat up higher indignantly if Daniel hadn't suddenly tensed, a nightmare rapping at his subconscious. The young man's hands curled around the blanket, and Daniel's head began to go left and right, shaking.
Immediately, Jack adjusted his position so his arm could go over Daniel's shoulders, giving him a shake. The archeologist didn't wake but somehow knew the touch was safe and settled back into sleep, the lines on his forehead smoothing out.
"Is he okay?"
Jack looked up at Carter and shrugged. He carefully eased Daniel up again, groaning as the man slid back sideways, knocking his head against the bony corner of Jack's shoulder. "Great, I hope he doesn't drool. I happen to like this shirt." He glanced up, frowning when he saw Carter and Teal'c still looked worried. "What?"
"Uh...we sort of...heard you before," Carter hedged. When Jack tensed, she hastened to say, "Not all of it. I was drifting in and out of sleep so I didn't...Is he going to be okay?"
"He's Daniel," Jack would only say. "What do you think?"
"Daniel Jackson will be fine," Teal'c announced.
Jack nodded. "He'll bounce back as usual. Just give him a rock—"
"Artifact, sir," Carter corrected him innocently.
Jack shot her a scowl that said "Et tu?" and went on "Like I said, give him some stuff to translate, and he'll be fine. We just gotta be sure he doesn't forget to—"
"Eat," Carter jumped in.
"Or rest," Teal'c finished.
Jack grinned. Oh yeah, Daniel would be fine. In fact, they would all be okay. It was the one thing he wouldn't trade in any universe: his team and the bonds holding them together through all this, knowing even when separated, they'd be okay with the others still out there looking.
Sighing, Carter plopped down on the armchair Jack had been sleeping in before. "It's really unbelievable how everything turned out, sir."
"Indeed." Agreeing, Teal'c only nodded, standing over by the couch. Jack bit back a grin, knowing the Jaffa had unconsciously set himself close by in case Daniel needed him.
"I mean, look at the probabilities we've encountered so far." She wiggled her hand at Jack, folding down each finger as she went. "We had me engaged to you, and Daniel had never been in the Stargate program, Teal'c still a First Prime to Apophis, then me married and widowed, Teal'c still a First Prime to Apophis. The possible combinations of factors are enormous."
Jack's mouth went dry, and he looked down at the top of Daniel's head again. "They are?"
Nodding, she gestured towards the shut bedroom door. "That was one possibility you never considered, one I never thought possible for myself either." She made a face. "Yet, everything sort of balanced to our reality the moment we intervened and realigned the factors to produce the same conclusion."
Jack made a face. "Carter, I have three, no...make that four beers in my system right now. Can you please speak in English?"
"The moment we helped them, they were able to share the same fate as us."
Gawking at Teal'c, Jack pointed at Carter. "You understood what she said?"
Teal'c bowed his head towards Sam, a hint of a smile. "No, I did not, but it is something I believe."
Grinning, Carter took pity on the colonel's disbelieving expression. "I sort of already explained it to Teal'c a few times."
Jack grunted. "So everything turned out the same...sort of...No Goa'ulds."
"And no Sha're," she added softly, looking at Daniel sadly.
"He'll be okay with it," Jack interrupted. Eventually. "We'll make sure, right?" He leaned back on the sofa, satisfied when he saw the others nodding seriously. Giving Daniel's head a pat, Jack yawned. "Damn, I'm almost afraid to see what other versions are out there."
"Perhaps you can inquire of Lieutenant Booker about that, O'Neill."
Jack saw Carter waving her hand frantically at Teal'c. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why should I ask Lieutenant Booker?"
Teal'c arched an eyebrow at Carter's maniacally waving gestures as he responded, "Because he is in charge of the betting for the list."
"List? What list?"
Wincing at the colonel's chilly tone, Carter sheepishly mumbled "Uh...the one they made to see what combinations we'll get in the next alternate reality if this happens again."
"Carter..." Jack folded his arms, trying to look stern but failing with Daniel slumped against his shoulder, dozing away unaware. "What combinations are those?"
Teal'c looked like he was going to spit as if the idea was odd. "There was one that suggested Major Carter and I were...mates."
"What?" Jack sat up straighter, pushing Daniel gently away so he wouldn't wake him.
Flushing, Carter scratched her cheek. "Uh...yeah, although there was also one for Janet and Daniel."
Sputtering, Jack wanted to say something, only grabbing the beer bottle instead and emptying it in one gulp. He glared suspiciously at the pair. "All this betting is on who's jumping in the sack in other realities?"
"Well, not really, sir," Carter started to say, ducking her head sheepishly under the colonel's scowl and muttered, "Yes, sir."
"What else was there?"
"You were matched with Doctor Frasier, O'Neill."
"M-me? Doc? W-what?"
"Teal'c, you're forgetting the one where he's paired off with Paula down at X-Rays."
Jack was beginning to feel like he was on a merry-go-round. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, then there was Daniel matched up with me, and one where he's matched up with Joy down at Records."
Lowering his head in his hands, Jack groaned.
"And then there was you and Daniel—"
Jack's head shot up. "What?"
Something in the bedroom crashed.
"Having wives off base..." Sam trailed off, tilting her head towards the back.
Spinning around on his seat, Jack narrowed his eyes as he saw the bedroom door was open a crack. He raised an eyebrow at Teal'c, the Jaffa raising one in response. They could hear the voices unsuccessfully trying to keep quiet.
"I don't believe it..."
"Will you calm down, John? What did you think they were saying?"
"Do you believe those people out there? I can't—"
"Calm down. Will you watch where you're stepping? What did you think they were saying?"
Dead silence.
Jack gave a look to Carter, who shrugged. They started when Dan's voice came loud enough to hear without straining.
"Oh God! I can't believe you would think...Oh...I think I'm going to get sick...You!"
"What? They were saying stuff and suddenly our names came up and—"
"Hello? We're brothers! Where the hell did you get such a lame-brained—"
"Me? I didn't say anything!"
"Well, neither did they, John!"
Jack winced as he heard another crash.
"Oh, now look what you did! Do you realized that was a very rare Peruvian—"
"Sh! They'll hear us!"
"Then you shouldn't have been screaming!"
"I was screaming? You were—"
Daniel stirred at the next crashing sound. "What?" He looked left and right, rubbing his eyes with a knuckle. "What time is it?"
"Argh! You broke another—Just turn on a goddamn light!"
"Then they'll know we're listening in—"
"Well if they didn't know before, they know now, John!"
Sam carefully pushed Daniel back down on the couch. "It's after four, Daniel. Go back to sleep."
Jack winced as he heard crunching pottery sounds in the other room, Daniel raising his head again with a bit of concern. He gave Daniel a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "Uh...nothing important, Daniel. Why don't you catch some shut-eye?"
Blinking rapidly, Daniel peered sleepily up at Jack, yawning. "I thought I heard—"
"Just the wind."
"The wind? But I thought I heard glass."
Jack nodded towards the door. Teal'c walked to the bedroom, opened the door, gave the occupants a glare which shut the brothers up, then promptly shut the door firmly to block the noise. Carter pulled at the blanket, and Daniel looked at her with a sleepy smile.
"Hey, Sam."
Carter chuckled, brushing her hand against his fringe. "Night, Daniel. Get some sleep."
Brow furrowed, Daniel didn't question, too tired to do anything except mumble his thanks as Jack steered his legs up to extend on the couch, giving one last yawn before shuffling deeper into the bedding and falling right back to sleep.
The rest of the team watched for a moment, until Daniel turned on his other side, mumbling some more before quieting.
Jack turned to Teal'c with a grimace. "How bad was it?"
The Jaffa merely pursed his lips.
Head drooping, Jack sighed heavily. "Damn. This is going to cost us, isn't it?"
"It was your idea to have them stay over here, sir," Carter pointed out mildly, hurrying back to her sleeping spot when Jack's head whipped back again.
Grumbling, Jack stomped over to where he was sacked out before, yanking out the blanket wadded behind the cushion. As he shot a scowl over to the shut bedroom, his frown faded, realizing the two had sounded, while arguing, at ease with each other and definitely not alone. Jack's gaze wandered to Daniel, sleeping with his back towards Jack, looking small as he curled under the blanket. Jack looked up towards the ceiling.
He's not alone either, he growled to whoever might be listening, scanning the room for the rest of his team.
Satisfied he'd made that clear to the powers that be, Jack settled back down in the armchair, hands twitching in discomfort. He kept one ear open to make sure no demons were knocking in anyone's sleep, and as he kept vigil, drifted back to sleep himself.
SG1SG1SG1
SG1SG1SG1
SG1SG1SG1
Rows of soldiers paused as they moved the injured through the portal. Some blinked in fascination as two pairs of twins came up to the middle of where the mirror wall would have been.
Dan stared back at his double. "So."
Smiling wanly, as if unsure of what to say, Daniel echoed, "So."
"Are they going to keep doing this all day?" Jack complained as he rocked on his heels, fully aware of the amused looks from both sides of the realities gathering around the front of the mirrored wall.
"Well, we could just start tossing people through the mirror right now," Kawalsky suggested. He and Ferretti wiggled their hands making as if they were going to grab Dan to do just that. He threw up his hands when both Jack and John O'Neill glared at him. "Kidding. Kidding. You know I wouldn't do that to him, Cap."
"Stop talking as if I wasn't here," Dan grumbled over his shoulder before turning back to Daniel. He shrugged sheepishly at Jackson. "Sammy said she was going to get some guards for this place. Make sure no one else goes through. At least...no one...unfriendly."
"Same here," Daniel murmured as he caught movements of people walking through the empty space where the portal was. Pretty soon, both realities would be back where they belonged, on their own sides. Daniel shifted from one foot to another, taking a deep breath before he pulled out a small pocket sized bound book. "Uh...thought maybe you would like something...you know..."
Dan placed his hands on the book, staring at the cover. "Are you sure? I mean, I recognize this. This was Dad's...our dads' book on temple recreations."
Daniel gave a weak smile. "I found quite a few of his books. But I think...you should at least have one with you."
Dan was at a loss for words. "I..." He tucked the book carefully in his jacket pocket and extended his hand, Daniel accepting it easily. They stared at each other.
"You going to be okay?" Daniel asked. Dan tilted his head, not understanding the question. "Um...we couldn't get the maps, and I know there are people you want to find."
John nodded, eyes dulling before they drifted to his brother's pensive expression. "We have coordinates you guys gave us to start with. Places Ra's rule extended to. They're pretty good chances for us finding them. He may have sent them there." John brightened as Dan nodded in agreement. "We'll find them."
Smiling briefly, Daniel stuck his hands in his pockets. "I...you know...I really don't know what to say," Daniel fumbled for the words, laughing nervously.
"I know. It's weird, right? Saying goodbye to your own face." Dan chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. He blinked when he saw Daniel do the same. The two men grinned.
"How about, uh...see you later?" John suggested in a light voice, leaning over to study the two. He grinned at Dan's chuckle.
"What?" Jack could be heard, outraged as he tried to both herd the donated equipment to the other side and eavesdrop at the same time. "You mean I gotta see that mug again some day?"
"And what's wrong with this mug?" John shouted back, not noticing the two Daniels wincing at the volume.
"They would be the only ones who can't get along with themselves," Dan muttered and Daniel chuckled. Sobering, Dan looked at his counterpart. "There's a lot of things I envy you for...Doctor Daniel Jackson...but don't be insulted when I say they're not enough for me to want to trade places with you."
Daniel smiled shyly. "I was about to say the same thing."
Just then, Daniel caught a glimpse of the alternate Janet Frasier, subdued, being helped across the portal border to her own reality. He looked at Dan, who only gave her a quick glance before hastily turning away.
"She's a victim, too, you know."
"I know. Sammy knows through Jol. She'll get help," Dan murmured. "It's just...going to take some getting used to."
Daniel remembered flinching when their Doctor Frasier came by to check on his eyesight once more when he arrived back on base. "I understand," he whispered. "But as long as you remember it wasn't her, and it was the Goa'uld inside her, then...it'll be okay."
Dan turned his head back to the alternate Frasier, sitting on a pile of ruined statues under careful guard. He looked at Daniel and solemnly nodded.
"Look, I can't keep holding the door forever!" Sam Hansen yelled, her voice ringing in both sides of the chamber. Dan and John turned to see a very impatient commander standing at the border of the portal. "We have to get back, assess the damage and start contingency plans for reconstruction and retrieval. Move it!"
"I told you," John muttered to both Dan and Daniel. "She doesn't like me."
"Don't feel so bad," Daniel whispered back. "She doesn't seem to like Jack either." Dan snickered as he caught the dirty look Jack was giving his friend, having overheard.
Chuckling, John clasped Daniel on the shoulder. "It was nice to have met you...Doctor Jackson." He smiled warmly at the man who wore his brother's face.
"Call him Daniel," Dan whispered.
"Call me Daniel," Daniel said at the same time.
The two men started and smiled at each other.
"Aw, what the hell," Dan sighed. He reached out and abruptly hooked the back of Daniel's neck and pulled him forward, sending the startled archeologist stumbling into their reality. Before Daniel could ask why, Dan wrapped his arms around him, engulfing him in a hug.
"Now that looks really weird," Jack muttered, but his eyes softened as he saw Dan patting Daniel on the back. He could hear every word from where he was and judging by John's expression, so could he.
"Sorry," Dan whispered before pulling away. "It looked like you needed it."
Daniel, mouth open, blinked at his counterpart before he mutely nodded. Then, he smiled once more. "You won," he said softly. "You beat him."
"We beat him," John reminded him, lightly punching his brother's twin. He then abruptly imitated Dan's gesture and ruffled Daniel's hair. The young man yelped, peering over to Dan, utterly bewildered.
Dan chuckled. "Hey, better you than—"
"O'Neill!" Hansen bellowed, getting thoroughly incensed.
"What?" Jack, John and Dan shouted back.
Hansen threw up her hands, tossing a "How do you put up with this?" look to Carter before snarling, "The annoying one!"
Dan grinned broadly. "Oh, she was definitely talking to you." He pointed to John and snickered. Daniel bit back a smile.
John pretended to growl. "Listen you..."
"O'Neill!"
Jack winced. "And they said I was loud." He glanced over to Carter with a smirk. "Who knew you could be so bossy?"
Rolling her eyes, Sam made no comment as she scanned the empty space of the portal. She lowered the device and met her double's eyes. The commander studied her for a moment and smiled wanly.
"See you around...Carter."
"Commander." Sam straightened, snapped her fingers and hopped over to the other reality.
"God damn it, Carter!" Jack wasn't happy. He shot a glare at his major, getting one in return from the commander.
"Forgot something." Sam pulled out a small box. Rattling it, she handed it to Hansen, who looked at it warily.
"The bracelets," Daniel explained. "We kept a few for ourselves. Thought you might want some for...um..."
"Dropping by and saying yoo hoo?" John drawled.
"Hey! I was going to say that!" Jack complained.
"You snooze, you lose, Colonel."
Grumbling, Jack waved Carter to come back. "Everything's through, kids."
Hansen nodded and paused. She made a face and growled. "I think someone wants to say something as well. Hang on."
Her eyes flashed a brief white light, and her harsh scowl gentled to a smile. Suddenly, Sammy's face smoothed out as she found who she was looking for, her eyes staying on Daniel.
"Jolinar," Daniel murmured. The Tok'ra tipped her head slightly.
"I wish you safety and well wishes, Dan-yel Jackson. And to you all as well. We the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri are most grateful. Should you ever require our assistance, you need only ask."
Jack arched an eyebrow. "Now there's something you don't hear from a Tok'ra every day," he quipped over his shoulder to the rest in the back.
Jolinar's eyes drifted back over to Daniel. Her smile was sad.
"Farewell, Dan-yel. I wish someone else was here to bid you the same."
Daniel swallowed. He managed a sad smile. "She already did. Thank you."
Jolinar reached forward and touched his cheek. "Good-bye. Stay well, our new friend." She pulled back and her eyes dulled, returning Sammy Hansen to the surface.
"Damn it!" the commander exploded. "This gives me the creeps!" She shot her men a glare, daring anyone to comment. Seeing none would, she nodded to Jack and the others and stepped away from the portal space.
A few seconds later, the wall came back up, the scene of the other reality still visible.
"Let's go home, kids," Jack murmured to his team, turning to go.
"Jack...wait."
Stopping at Daniel's soft request, Jack swiveled around again and froze at the image before him.
Standing by the active Stargate, John, Kawalsky, and a few others were saluting sharply to the mirror. The generals stood beside them, hands clasped behind their backs, before slowly pulling their hands out and saluting as well. To them. Dan and Jolinar stood there solemnly, their eyes providing the same respect.
Jack stared at the scene, faces like his own, one who was dead here, and felt an odd lump sitting in the back of his throat. His eyes wandered to Hansen, who was steadily looking at him. She lifted her hand.
And saluted.
"Attention," Jack said softly. He and Carter straightened and did the same, the soldiers behind them snapping to attention in unison.
They stood there, both realities gazing back at each other, at the possibilities neither could have ever imagined existed, hands straight, shoulders back.
Jack finally lowered his hand. He saw Hansen murmur something to the soldier standing on the DHD platform. "Anderson," he called out over his shoulder.
Two soldiers, in both realities, stepped down from the platform. The wall wavered, then turned smoky until it solidified back to their own reflections.
"Bye," Daniel whispered to his own image. He felt Jack clasp him on the shoulder. He looked up.
Jack's unspoken question hung between them, concern in the colonel's face that looked both like John O'Neill's and Jack's.
"I'm okay," the archeologist murmured and saw the dark eyes lighten.
Another clap of the shoulder and Jack motioned to the DHD.
"Dial us home, Daniel."
Daniel turned away from the mirror, not looking back and practically jogged to the DHD. Knowing the symbols by heart, Daniel tapped the first one. When the chevron engaged, he smiled.
