My throat burned, but I couldn't take in a breath. My chest ached and I knew, by the look he was giving me, that Remus had figured it out.
"Oh, no," he laughed in disbelief, eying me cautiously. "You can't be serious."
I opened my mouth to lie, to say something, but I just continued staring. That was all the response he needed.
"You have got to be kidding me!" He was backing away, looking at me as if I was someone completely different. "You do not like Sirius."
I couldn't deny it. I knew if I tried he would be able to tell. So, instead, with tears blurring my vision, I murmured, "Sorry."
This was going to kill him.
He gave me an incredulous look. "Sorry? Ivy, you...you like one of my friends. And, not only that, but it's Sirius." He backed up until he was a few good feet away and began pacing. I couldn't do anything but watch as he paced back and forth, back and forth, hand on his head to probably stop himself from screaming at me.
"Please, stop," I finally found myself saying. My voice sounded weak. I couldn't stand seeing him like this anymore.
He finally wheeled around to face me, a fire in his eyes that I had never seen before. "God, Ivy, I thought you were different! I thought you weren't like those other girls. And now I find out you're exactly the same!"
Wait...what?!
"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice getting increasingly louder.
"I mean that you're like everyone else here," he tried to explain. Waving his hands frantically, trying to find the words to say, he finally added, "Throwing themselves at Sirius Black every waking moment."
Did he just say-?
"I have never thrown myself at him!" I retorted. "You would have noticed if I made advances on your friend! I'm not like those other girls."
"Then what are you?" Remus demanded. "I thought you were my friend, but now I see you were only using me to get to Sirius. And that's why you kept pushing me away!"
My heart dropped when I realized he didn't consider me his friend anymore. He thought I had used him as a ploy to get to Sirius. Those tears were back in my eyes again. "I am your friend," I tried, my voice cracking. "I didn't use you at all, Remus."
But he only shook his head, backing away. "I can't believe you."
The tears had finally started flowing down my cheeks. "You're my best friend," I whispered, dejected.
He stopped for a second and I thought I had finally made him understand. But he shook his head again and left without even a goodbye.
Shaking, I slid down the corridor wall and curled up into a ball, hiding my face. A bell faintly sounded, but I didn't move. I couldn't go to class. I couldn't move. I wanted to just stay here and cry.
"Ivy?"
That almost sounded like Eleanor.
I glanced up and saw my sister's face in front of mine. She looked frightened and concerned. The rest of her class passed by without even a second glance.
"What happened?" she asked, sitting next to me.
"Nothing," I mumbled. The argument was still fresh in my mind. It kept playing and playing and playing and wouldn't stop. I just wanted to forget about it.
She didn't pry. Instead, we both fell silent. I looked over to see her lean against on my arm. The act immediately comforted me.
I didn't need to tell her to get to class. I wasn't planning on going. I knew that if I was too upset to go, then she wouldn't dare leave.
She cared too much.
She was the only one who cared.
Oh, the angst.
So, I'm back home for the summer and I have to share the internet with my brother. And my parents have decided to put a time limit on the computer.
Wonderful. If there's not an update one day, that's why. If I don't respond to your review, that's why too.
Thanks for everything!
