Be warned ye who enter here. We be talking about sex!
"Wow!" Lucy thrilled as she stepped through the front door. "Levy-chan, it's great!"
"I know!" Levy giggled. She began to give Lucy the guided tour of her new house. She did the ground floor first, and then took her to the basement. Lucy marvelled at the enormous book collection Levy was amassing. Soon, even that expansive basement would not be enough.
They went upstairs and Levy showed her the best room in the house; her study. It was the perfect size; not too small, not too big. As the door opened, you had a little desk tucked into the corner on the immediate right, and a bean bag chair just beyond it in the far corner. On the wall opposite the door was a window that gave perfect light to the desk and surrounding area. Lucy assumed that Levy used the floor more than the desk, surrounded by books.
On the left, the entire wall was a bookcase, filled with books. Levy rotated useful stuff from the basement to here. If something was done, she'd take it downstairs. Lucy browsed through the books here. There was some interesting stuff for sure, but something much more important caught her eye.
A small section was labelled 'Gajeel's books'. Levy had forgotten about it in her desire to show her room and Lucy bounded over to it and began looking. She smiled at the childhood classics that he had read. Who knew that Gajeel was such a cutie? She felt Levy jump on her back, arms around her shoulders.
"No Lu-chan, don't look! Gajeel'll kill me!" She cried. Lucy ignored her and plucked a book from the shelf, standing despite having Levy on her back. This was interesting. Amongst the children's novels were more adult books, science fantasy mostly.
"'First and Only' by Dan Abnett," Lucy read. "Is this what Gajeel likes?"
Levy slid from her back, cheeks burning. "Um…his reading has gotten a lot better. He likes books with a bit of action and violence mostly."
"Never going to read Shakespeare?" Lucy said smiling.
"It's not bad!" Levy pouted, feeling insulted for her love. "Everyone likes different types of things. I'm so happy that he enjoys reading, I don't care what!" She realised that she was tearing slightly, and Lucy looked a bit taken aback. She had gotten more than a little defensive, but she hated that anyone might insult Gajeel's intelligence.
"Of course, Levy-chan," Lucy said in placating tones. "I like these kind of books too! In fact, the language can be kind of complicated sometimes, lots of specific jargon."
"Uhn!" Levy beamed suddenly. "They're perfect for him! The prose is often simple and literal, and whenever he finds a hard word, he asks me!" Lucy watched her friend glow. Sharing her joy in reading with Gajeel made her so very happy. And it had noticeably made Gajeel a better person.
Levy made a sly face suddenly and glanced out of the door, as if checking that they were alone. She scurried over to the desk and opened the bottom drawer. She took out what was very clearly a book, but wrapped in colourful wrapping paper with a red bow on it.
"What is it?" Lucy asked.
"'Only in Death' by Dan Abnett. It's the next in the series, and it just came out. I'm going to surprise him with it. It looks perfect for him. I skimmed a bit, and it's kinda horror themed. Halloween soon, after all!"
"And when will you give it to him exactly? It's not his birthday."
Levy frowned. She hadn't even considered that. She'd just sort of bought it and wrapped it naturally. "Um…people can just give gifts, can't they?" She asked, feeling foolish. Lucy giggled. Her friend was paradoxically one of the most mature and most childlike guild members at the same time. She was never vindictive or spiteful but often did things on happy whims, not even thinking on them.
"I'm sure he'll love it whatever!" Lucy smiled, making Levy feel better. Lucy looked a little sly herself and walked out of the study and into the bedroom which was right next to it. Levy suddenly went bright red and followed her.
"Lu-chan! Don't just walk into other people's bedrooms!" She cried. Lucy looked bored.
"I was hoping there'd be some handcuffs on display or something," she said.
"Why…would we have something like that?" Levy asked, bright red and sweating.
Lucy grinned and sat on the bed. She patted it for Levy to sit next to her. "This is actually something I wanna talk about."
Wait, she wanted to talk about what now? Levy walked around the bed grabbing Kurogane as she went. She felt like she was going to need the stuffed lion's support in the coming minutes.
"So, I was hoping to talk to you about sex," Lucy began and Levy quailed. "You see, trying to get Natsu to experiment is impossible. I think anything other than him on top and me just laying there scares the crap out of him!"
"And what would I know?" Levy asked blandly.
"Well, you're the biggest pervert I know," Lucy said. Levy spent so much time focussing on being called the biggest, that she almost missed the next word.
"Wait, what!?"
"Levy-chan," Lucy wheedled, "I don't know anyone else who has spent time reading quite as many racy novels as you. Now admitted, that's more because you exhaust the bookstore so quickly that you had no choice, but you've picked up a few things!"
Lucy looked at Levy - she was trembling violently, an odd expression on her face. The images in her head went like this: Levy talking to Lucy. Lucy talking to Natsu. Natsu talking to Gajeel, mockingly. Gajeel standing over Levy, his face shadowed, cracking his knuckles.
"Okay, Lu-chan," she said at last. "But there is one thing I need from you: proof that Natsu can't use this against him."
"How can I…"
"Penis measurements. If Gajeel's is bigger, he'll win any argument."
"But what if Natsu is bigger?"
"Then you'll lie and agree to any number that I make up."
"Okay. Is it odd that we've both measured?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know. Go."
"Six inches," Lucy said proudly. She looked at Levy's face. The smaller woman had her hand over her mouth to prevent laughing. Her eyes twinkled with amusement. "What!"
"Is that all? It's so cute!" Levy giggled mischievously.
"It's a good size!" Lucy replied hotly. "How much bigger can…"
"Nine." Levy never looked more smug.
Lucy gaped. The size differences just kept on coming for this pair. "But that's so big…and you're so small…doesn't it hurt?"
Levy went bright red again. "Um…sometimes. But honestly, every time we have sex is like a minefield anyway. He's so frigging strong!"
"Oh yes, do you still have problems with that?" Lucy asked.
"Well, let me put it like this; Wendy charges me money now." Levy blanched. "I'm as frail as I ever was, and Gajeel's strength has gone up massively. Last week, he almost broke three ribs by accident."
"What!? But what about your defence spell? Can't you use that?"
Levy deadpanned. "It turns me into metal. It's Gajeel. The what slayer?"
"Oh. Oh. Ohhhh!" Lucy made a face. "How do you two even do 'it' at all?"
"Well it's fine most of the time. Just because he can bench press a small continent doesn't mean that he can't hold an egg. He's really very gentle with me. It's just that if he gets a bit too…into it…he loses control."
Lucy sat there thinking for a minute and something occurred to her. "Thinking of pain, has he ever…changed to metal while inside you?"
Levy made an expression that suggested that she was remembering the single most painful moment of her entire life. She clutched Kurogane tightly. "…no…"
Silence descended. "Wait! He can extend his limbs and turn them into blades! Can he also…"
"Oh my god, I'm gonna die!" Levy wailed, clutching Kurogane tighter to her chest. How had none of this ever occurred to her before? Her boyfriend was a living weapon. He'd kill her by accident! She could see the headlines now: Midget dies in bizarre sexual scenario. What an obituary!
Lucy felt bad as she watched the blunette spiral out of control. She tried to drag the conversation back on topic. "So what do you two get up to?"
Levy frowned. "When we started, I was kinda submissive. He knew what he was doing, and I didn't. Most of it was me just lying back and taking it."
"So how did you get past that?" Lucy asked, interested.
"Um…well, when we encountered the strength problem, Gajeel suggested that I try going on top, so that I could dictate the pace, look after myself." She smiled. "That works pretty well – it's still safe, standard sex, but a bit of a shake up."
"Hmm…I'll have to try that with Natsu. It doesn't sound too scary for him." Lucy frowned. "But surely you two do more kinky stuff. I remember the roleplay incident from a while back. Cancer made that outfit for you."
"Yes…we roleplay," Levy admitted shakily. "Gajeel likes me dressing up, now he's past the embarrassment phase."
Lucy grinned like a wolf. "And what do you dress as exactly?"
"I will never tell," Levy said severely, sticking out her tongue.
"Nurse? Maid? Schoolgirl?"
Levy grinned unexpectedly. "One of them, but I won't say which!" (AN: I'll just leave my audience with their perverted imaginations…)
Lucy pouted at the lack of information. "And Gajeel?"
"He'd kill me…" Levy admitted.
"Batman?"
"Stop it!" Levy shouted. "Stop guessing!"
"Okay, let's move on. Bondage?" Lucy was enjoying Levy's discomfort now, but Levy actually looked angry at that question.
"Think back to how Gajeel and I first met."
"Hmm? Oh!"
"That's a sore point, Lu-chan. After that incident, being bound frightens me. But before you ask, the other way doesn't work, because Gajeel can break any bindings." Or their mountings…
"Sorry, I didn't mean to…how about S&M?"
Levy was definitely glaring. "Are you paying attention? I can't hurt Gajeel, and he has to try not to hurt me!"
Lucy looked a little sad. "So I return to my earlier point: how do you two manage at all? Do you just do plain old boring stuff? Sure, a little dressing up is nice, but the sex is the same!"
"…well, my favourite position is…" Levy began to wriggle, unable to spit it out. Lucy prodded her. "Him standing, carrying me!" She blurted. Not waiting for the response, she went on. "Shut up! If I have to suffer with this height for my entire life, I might as well enjoy the few perks! I like to be held by him!"
Lucy laughed, but wasn't quite sure if that'd work for them. Well, Natsu was plenty strong…
"Still is that it? Don't you guys do anything crazy?"
"Not really. Sorry to disappoint you." She smirked. "I'm pure and innocent and Gajeel's straightforward!"
Lucy sighed, but she'd gotten a few ideas. Time to make Natsu suffer.
About an hour after Lucy left, Gajeel returned with a brown paper bag. He headed up to the bedroom, where Levy waited on the bed, reading.
"Heya, Shrimp." He sniffed. "Bunny-girl come over, then?"
"Yep. You get everything?"
Gajeel smiled and began placing items on the top of the drawers. "Whipped cream, bunch of bananas, pair of kiwis, a whip, a fedora, and a raunchy novel!"
He stared at the line up.
"Lily will make a cute Indiana Jones for the Halloween party!" He said.
"And Erza will like that book for her birthday!" Levy smiled. "Is that all the stuff for the salad now?"
"Yeah. Exceeds have weird tastes, right?" He began to pack the items away.
Levy smiled. "By the way, Lucy and I got talking, and about you and Natsu…three more inches."
"GIHIHIHIHIHI! I'll bring that up the next time he's being a douche!" He made to take the bag downstairs.
"Gajeel…"
"Hm? Oh sorry," he said, placing the whipped cream back on the drawers. "Gajeel's gonna eat good tonight…"
I'm aware that I haven't done much with my M rating (it was more out of safety) but I wanted a chance to at least talk about their sex life. Even if only in a nudge, nudge, wink, wink, kinda way. Because I'm immature like that.
Heh. Nine inches.
Now I've rewritten this story like five times out of fear, so I'm just gonna go ahead and hit submit before I chicken out.
