Chapter 48 – Big, Fat, and Purple


"You little rebels just keep getting more and more ridiculous in how you think you're actually going to overthrow us," Keldeo taunted at the honchkrow he just captured and brought before the Twilight King.

"And you tyrannical maniacs are getting more ridiculous in how you think the world's gonna be yours!" the rebellious honchkrow shot back.

"Sire, you want to execute this one?"

"Sure," the Twilight King responded. "I need the practice before our big invasion, anyway." The King stood up and struck the honchkrow dead with Demon Lightning.

"Great shot, sire!"

"We need to be in top form when we invade Pumbloomberg. Is the weapon ready?"

"Yes, sire. But we need a way to transport it. We're working on that part now."

"What is that?" The King looked at the dead honchkrow and noticed something was on his back. He took it from the corpse. It appeared to be a fossil of some kind. "Who exactly was this rebel, anyway?"

"Oh, just some excavator. He was aiding refugees by allowing them to use his tunnels to escape from us. He must have found this fossil." Keldeo and the King took a closer look at the fossil. "Have any ideas what this is, sire?"

"Not a clue. There exists no record of this Pokémon having a name."

"I see. You know, this might help us out somehow. What if we make this the weapon's transportation?"

"Well, if you and Amongele can make it work, then go ahead."

"Thanks, sire!"


"Okay, twig lady, what's the deal?" Big Fat Slimy Purple demanded of Higon, who met him in the Syndicate's mysterious hideout. "What have you got for me?"

"As you know, until recently, I was married to a very rich salamence by the name of Flygon," Higon explained. "I got him arrested, which, by this city's laws, means he is automatically divorced from his spouse, and the spouse gets the belongings of the arrested spouse. Basically, I own his house, money, and assets. So I can pay you very nicely."

"For what?! Get to it already!"

"I want to keep that house and everything about it all to myself. I like living rich and alone. But, you see, there are refugees from various countries living on my house's front lawn. Worse still, local builders actually gave them houses to live in on my lawn. My husband permitted it only because he had his eye on the women moving in. So what I want you to do is destroy all the houses, which will force them to move away and leave me alone."

"That seems doable. How much is this worth?"

"I think this job can go for one million Pokéns. How's that sound?"

"You've got a deal."

"Excellent. By the way, don't be afraid to fight the inhabitants back if you have to. I just want them gone."

"Got it. They shouldn't be tough. You got the money? I don't do jobs unless I get the cash up front."

"Here's the first half of the payment now. You'll get the rest after the job's done."

"Fine then…"

"Good. Thanks." Higon left the hideout, leaving the portly goodra to his business.

"Okay, boys, you got all that?"

"Yep," responded the fat noivern. "Though, boss, I know your body slime has all kinds of gross stuff in it, but use a toilet every once in a while!"

"Why should I? My body uses slime to eliminate. I can't make biggies like the rest of you."

"Hey, I can't make any, either," added a gengar. "No part of my ghostly body can make one!"

"All right, enough! Big Fat Shouty Purple and Big Fat Scary Purple, get Big Fat Slappy Purple off his butt and get going!"

"Gotcha, Slimy!" responded both Shouty and Scary.

"And quit forgetting the Syndicate Rule: full names always!"

"Gotcha, Big Fat Slimy Purple!"

On the goodra's order, the gengar and noivern went into a room inhabited by a small but overweight aipom. The room had lots of drawing of female Pokémon with hip proportions that were nowhere near modest.

"Hey, Big Fat Slappy Purple! We've got a job to do!" Big Fat Shouty Purple announced, frightening the aipom.

"Having fun gawking at your creepy dream date fantasies?" Big Fat Scary Purple taunted.

"N-no! B-but don't sneak up on me like that!" Big Fat Slappy Purple scolded. "You trying to make my heart stop?!"

"With as much candy floss as you've gorged yourself on, I'm surprised your fat-encrusted heart is even beating right now. To think I thought Big Fat Shouty Purple was desperate to join this Syndicate."

"Well, I wanted what you guys have! Can't blame me for that, can you?!"

"All right, all right, bloody Suffering! Can we just go now?!"

"Yeah, alright, I'm coming." The aipom struggled to stand up. His small body could barely compensate for his large stomach and hindquarters. The sight of it drew laughter from his fellow Syndicate cronies. "*hah hah* So… *hah* what's the job, then?"

"Something fairly simple," answered Big Fat Shouty Purple. "Not even you could banjax it."


"I'm telling you guys, you've got me all wrong!" Flygon pleaded with the constables as they placed him in a prison cell. "I don't know how I ended up inside that charmander lady's house! I swear it! Can't you try me again with better evidence?"

"Better evidence?! HAH!" laughed one of the three clefable constables. "You're dead-to-rights, tosser! Womanizing, harassment, extortion, and now breaking and entering; yeah, you had no chance whatsoever of getting acquitted! With that many charges, you're lucky the judge gave you a three-year sentence, let alone that the trial even lasted two hours! You should've known how strict we are about law enforcement here in Chestebury, especially when it comes to harassment! Women aren't objects!" With that, the officers tossed Flygon into the cell. They quickly followed him in and put Inopsite shackles onto his feet, and then attached them to a long chain connected to the ground. He was still able to walk around, but not for any farther than a radius of about two meters. "By the way, per the city's laws, your wife gains everything that belonged to you. As you're one of the richest Pokémon in this whole city, that sure makes you especially stupid for doing what you did, considering how much you had to lose. You sure are one miserable and dumb Pokémon. Spend the next three years mulling that over." The clefable constables left the cell and shut it. Flygon sat down on the cold metal ground, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"This can't be happening to me…"


"He did WHAT?!" Pelame asked loudly and incredulously of Marie.

"Yep, he really couldn't go a single day without being pleasant," Marie clarified. "You and your mom sure are lucky you weren't here to see it."

"Maybe we could've stopped him…"

"Well, that no longer matters now. Hopefully jail will teach him a lesson in manners."

"D'ailleurs Pelame, votre maison est fini! Votre père et ce méchant amphinobi ont été une aide immense, tout comme votre ami Blessing." Henri interjected.

"Oh, right! Merci de me le rappeler Henri! Pelame, your house is finished!"

"I saw that when Mom and I came back. Thanks so much, Marie! Merci beaucoup Henri!"

"De rien, mademoiselle Pelame. Nous sommes heureux d'aider. Enfin tout le monde à ârt cet amphinobi."

"Want to go see it?" Marie asked.

"Certainly!"

Marie and Henri showed Pelame to her new home, which was located on the end of the left row of houses, closest to the giant mansion now owned by Higon. It looked like the rest of them.

"It looks no different from the other houses on the outside," Pelame said. Following Marie and Henri inside and getting a look at the interior and every room within made her add, "And neither does the inside."

"Is that okay?" Marie asked.

"Oh, certainly! I'm just happy to have some living quarters. And honestly, I prefer nice little two-floor houses like this. I really wouldn't like to live in that giant castle-sized mansion staring at all these houses."

"Two floors? But there's only one."

"I know. Sorry, I forgot that Pumbloomberg counts building floors differently from how the Twilight Kingdom does. Anyway, this house looks great! Thanks so much!"

"It was our pleasure, Miss Pelame. If you need anything at all, just let us know."

With that, Henri and Marie left. Pelame settled down into the bed and went to sleep. It was only 9:00p.m. Blooman Time, but her energy had been spent.


Later on that night, Higon intently watched the houses, waiting for the last of the lights to go off and let her know everyone was asleep. At 12:23a.m., exactly that happened. She got onto the phone and made a call.

"You there, Slimy?" she asked.

"Yes, Running," Big Fat Slimy Purple answered. "I've got my other syndicate members here, too. We're about three blocks away. We'll be there within six minutes."

"Good. Now's your chance to earn the other half of the payment. Lay waste to all these houses."

"You got it."

Both Pokémon hung up. Higon then went through the house and tore out all the phones from their phone plugs, and then destroyed them. She then replaced each one with brand new phones. With the new one she placed in the kitchen, she made another call.

"Constables! Come quickly! The Big Fat Syndicate of Purple is attacking!"


Right on cue, the Syndicate arrived in the time they predicted.

"You know, Big Fat Slimy Purple, why do you get to wear a fancy suit and we have to go naked?" complained Big Fat Slappy Purple. "And also, why don't you wear something on your lower half?"

"Don't be silly," Big Fat Slimy Purple answered. "No such type of clothing exists. Besides, I lead the Syndicate, so I get the best perks. Now get ready to attack, everyone."

The four members lined up and readied their attacks. Slimy got a Dragon Pulse ready, Shouty readied a Boomburst, Scary readied a Dark Pulse, and Slappy readied a Shadow Ball. They all launched their attacks at the first house in the row on the left, which was the one Professor Adorbs, Blessing, and Treasure were staying in. The three of them awoke with a start, as did all the other inhabitants when subsequent attacks hit their houses. Significant damage was done to each house, rendering them dangerously unstable and warranting everyone inside to escape. But before the Syndicate could finish leveling the houses, the police arrived and ambushed them, cuffing them once they got the chance. Higon came out of her mansion, acting confused.

"What's going on here? What's the Big Fat Syndicate of Purple doing here?!" she demanded.

"WHAT?! YOU CALLED US HERE!" Slimy defended.

"How dare you?! What a ridiculous accusation that is!"

"ACCUSATION?! We talked on the phone, you traitor—"

"Wow, what desperate rubbish!" interjected one of the clefable constables. "You really think Higon, one of Chestebury's richest and nicest citizens, would associate with scum like you?"

"Not a chance!" Higon added. "Why would I work with a thief who stole 500,000 Pokéns from me!"

"WHAT THE—YOU PAID ME THAT MONEY TO DO THIS!"

"Oh, shut up! Constable, gag him before he spouts off more lies."

"Gladly," responded the constable. "I'm getting sick of his whining anyway."

"YOU SET US UP, YOU B—mmm!" the plastic bar being shoved into Slimy's mouth interrupted him. The constables did the same with the other syndicate members as they loaded them into the paddy wagon.

"Thank you, Miss Higon," the constable said. "Thanks to you, we finally caught them."

"No problem, constable," Higon responded. "Now I can finally get some peace and quiet. But it is a shame about all these Pokémon, though. Their houses are too damaged to live in…"

"Oh, we can refurbish them," Marie offered.

"And we'll all help," Blessing offered. "I know I only helped build one, but I've gotten to love building houses."

"That's quite nice of you all," the constable complimented. "I hope everyone gets their houses back. And by the way, would one of you happen to be Pelame?"

"Yes, that's me," Pelame answered.

"We've been entrusted with a package for you." He gave it to her. "It's from the President."

"Thanks!"

"My pleasure. And don't worry about the Syndicate—"

"Just a moment. Officer—uh, I mean…constable? May I see them for a moment, please?"

"What for? They're dangerous, you know."

"I know. But I need to see them. I have a way to make them less dangerous."

"You do? How?"

"I'll explain later. I just need in there before they escape." Pelame noticed a small puddle of goo leaking out of the doors of the wagon. Recognizing it, she caught it in an Alpha Barrier.

"Well, let me and my fellows here guard you."

"Okay."

The constables opened the wagon's doors. Pelame tossed the goo puddle back into it and blocked the open passage with an Alpha Barrier.

"Don't worry; we can walk through it." Big Fat Slappy Purple attempted to exit the vehicle. He smacked face-first into the Barrier, hurting his nose. "They can't, though." Pelame entered with the constables following her. She readied her Alpha Power and Purified each and every one, one by one. "They won't be any more trouble now."

"Wait a minute, was that Alpha Power?" asked one of the constables.

"Yes. I just removed the Syndicate members' Dark Blessings."

"No wonder the President wants to see you! You should get going on your way!"

"I have plans to pretty soon."

Pelame and the constables left the wagon and shut its doors after Pelame let down her Barrier. They drove off with their new arrests.

"Unbelievable…" Higon complained. "That they'd dare accuse me of association!" She re-composed herself. "I'm sorry about what happened to your houses."

"Would it be okay if we stayed the night in your house?" Adorbs asked.

"NO!" Higon noticed how loudly she shouted that. "Sorry, but…Flygon and I moved into it together, and…you know…he recently let me down…too many memories, you know?"

"I understand. We'll just go find a motel, then."

"Forget that! You can all stay with Henri and I," Marie offered. "Est-ce qu'ils peuvent tous rester chez nous cette nuit Henri?"

"Je suppose, mais on va être serré." Henri answered. "Ils seront d'accord avec ça?"

"Je vais demander." Marie addressed everyone. "Our house is only barely bigger than these ones we built for you, so it'll be rather cramped if you all stay in simultaneously. Is that okay?"

"Well, why don't some of us stay with you two, and some of us stay in a motel?" Professor Henry offered. "I'd be fine in a motel."

"Me, too," Torden and his mother added together.

"Us, too," offered Adorbs, Blessing, and Treasure.

"I'm one of the biggest ones here," Snapper said. "I'd take up too much space, anyway, so I'll go to a motel, too."

"I think that'll leave enough space in our house, then," Marie said. She turned to Henri. "Henry, Torden, Pauline, Adorbs, Blessing, Treasure et Snapper vont aller dormir dans un motel cette nuit, comme ça on ne manqueras pas trop de place."

"Je vois. De toute façon, peut-importe comme ils s'arrangent, ils sont les bienvenus chez nous."

Marie nodded. "Okay, everyone, we've got a plan."

Those going to a motel sought one out in the city, and those staying with Henri and Marie followed them to their house. Higon watched as they all left.

"Don't you dare return," Higon thought to herself, satisfied. She went back into her house. In the mansion's foyer, a Dark Eye greeted her, turning her into Mortite.


"By the way, Pelame, what did the President send you?" Neve asked.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot!" Pelame responded. She opened the package she received and found lots of papers and a passport inside.

"To Pelame,

I am pleased to hear that you have arrived safely here in Pumbloomberg. I have been informed of such by Emperor Kentahito and his daughter Princess Jurihito, who stopped in earlier today (well, today as of when I wrote this letter; it may reach you late). Don't worry about them; they are perfectly safe here in Maison Pumbloom, as are the remaining World Leaders. We still have yet to rescue Queen Mkono, though.

The Emperor has brought to my attention that your branding as a traitor to the Twilight Kingdom has resulted in the revocation of all your credentials and your citizenship. Therefore, I have had you made an official Citizen of Pumbloomberg, and I have seen to the re-instatement of your Degree in Historical Studies. All of those are enclosed in this package, as well as a new passport and identity cards. On behalf of my country, I welcome you and your family and friends. Bring them by whenever you can. I hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,
President Cadence of Pumbloomberg"

"How nice!" Neve responded. "Yes, definitely! Let's go tomorrow! Want to, hon?"

"Sure!" Pinna responded.

"All right, we've got a travel plan for tomorrow!" Pelame added.