ACHM 50
Disclaimer: We don't own any REAL anime or manga series (Such as Slayers, Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne or Disgaea.) Ones we've made up, sure; characters we've made up (or rather, are loosely affiliated with us, Aries & Kelly/Arcanum, as is the case with Babbit and Xeria) are kind of ours too.
*Warning! Spoilers!*
"How many fraggin' years have we been here?!" Babbit demanded, obviously upset by the announcement that the big-screen TV now showed: 50th ACHM. (It didn't help that the text was in big red letters and the screen itself was blue; it was making Babbit feel motion sick.)
"I see you're picking up speech habits from Arcanum." Xeria observed, and then added "You're happier not knowing."
Babbit thought about that for a moment, then said quietly "It's true that this isn't necessarily a BAD occupation, given that both of us are technically *major spoiler about Xeria and Babbit's back stories censored*, and we have some good vacations.... But...."
"This just isn't home?" Xeria asked in a happy voice, acting as though she didn't mind either.
"I'm sick of eating concession stand food all the time! And we don't even have a real place to sleep! Do you know how bad my neck hurts after sleeping at the announcer's table for a week?" Babbit ranted, turning to face Xeria, who was floating in the air nearby, reading a baseball magazine.
"Yes, I know." Xeria said in a genuinely happy voice.
"Something tells me that Aries-san has too much pent-up stress right now." Arcanum's voice observed from the sky.
"BYAAAAAAAAA~!" Aries' voice also emerged.
"However did you guess that?" Babbit asked, seeming to calm down.
"Just look at all the whining she's writing, even though she's not personally affected by the situation!" Xeria chirped.
There was a moment of silence in the arena, and it seemed as though Aries was about o start crying from sheer stress.
"Anyways, onto the ACHM. The arena has been very nicely repaired since the last match..." Xeria began speaking into the microphone.
"Cue the dramatic flash of light." Babbit said reluctantly, also getting in on the announcing.
Flash! Ah-ah.... Savior of the Universe!
Babbit and Xeria looked at each other.
"What was that supposed to be?" Babbit asked.
"Sore wa himitsu desu, of course!" Xeria said, happily inserting her favorite line.
"It was Flash Gordon, or rather, Freddie Mercury with Queen!" Aries announced proudly. But everyone ignored her. They were too busy surveying today's crowd.
"Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne" Xeria observed, eyeing the humans/angels/demons crowded on one side of the stadium. The other side of was also filled with humans/angels/demons, almost making one think that they were made to counterbalance each other.
"It... Hey! Wait a minute! Disgaea's an RPG, not an anime!" Babbit exclaimed indignantly.
"It is too an anime! I watched it at Otakon!" Aries exclaimed back, defending her position.
"True." Xeria stated, earning her a glare from Babbit, which she enjoyed.
"Contestants, please enter the ring!" Babbit announced in a reluctant tone of voice.
From one side, Fin Fish the semi-angel entered the ring.
From the other, Flonne the angel trainee entered the ring.
Merely looking at Flonne gave Xeria a wave of nausea, which gave Babbit the chance to snatch the first question card and go over to Fin.
"Fin Fish, you are said here to be the assistant of the reincarnation of Jeanne d'Arc, whom you aid in capturing demons. What is your goal in doing so?" Babbit asked.
"After we capture the demons, Kami-sama gets strength from the people they had been possessing, and so we're really on the side of good." Fin said in a remarkably cute voice.
"So you're one of the good guys?" Babbit asked, almost sounding skeptical.
"Yes! It's Sinbad who is an agent of the devil!" Fin insisted.
"You're not even a good liar!" Xeria called from the announcer's table. Fin looked as though her feelings were hurt, and Babbit returned to the announcer's table with a shrug. Meanwhile, Xeria began to make her way towards Flonne. As she grew closer, she felt more and more like she was going to puke; it was almost as though Flonne radiated pure feelings and happiness and love.
"Flonne... You... really..." Xeria said slowly, sounding as though she was having trouble breathing.
"Yes?" Flonne asked in an ultra-cute voice that made Xeria wince.
"You're secretly trying to replace Laharl as the overlord and make the prinnies into cannonballs, aren't you?!" Xeria read off the card, sounding agitated.
"Oh, the poor prinnies!" Flonne said empathetically. "I could never do that to them! It wouldn't be loving!"
"Loving?" Xeria spat in a disgusted voice.
"Yes!" Flonne smiled widely. "Love is the answer to everything!"
At that, Xeria teleported away, presumably somewhere where it would not be noticed that she was puking her guts out due to Flonne's overwhelming positive attitude.
"Contestants, ready, steady, go!" Babbit declared, ringing the bell.
"Don't you agree that we can settle our difference peacefully?" Flonne asked approaching Fin.
"Normally, I would say that." Fin said, and her eyes darkened. "But I'm going to fight you with all I have!" (Her voice deepened for that last line, by the way) With that, there was a swirl of negative energy around Fin, and she morphed from being a semi-angel to being a Fallen Angel.
"What? I thought you were another angel!" Flonne screamed and fell back, landing soundly on her bottom.
"I am the fallen angel, Fin Fish!" Fin declared, and descended upon Flonne with her eyes glowing.
"But you can still be saved! Believe in love!" Flonne reached up, and wrapped her arms around Fin in an embrace.
There was a great fizzle of light as all of Flonne's holy energy was absorbed by Fin. When the light faded, Fin had transformed again, this time becoming a full Angel, and she was holding Flonne.
"Flonne, you sacrificed yourself to save me..." Fin murmured.
"It's worth it to me... Keep believing in love...." Flonne murmured as she lost consciousness.
"Victor: Fin!" Babbit declared, once again ringing the bell.
"Admit the defeat of the Love Freak! Yeah" Xeria appeared behind Babbit, seeming to be more energetic before.
Another flash of light took away the contestants and their respective crowds.
"Where did you go before?" Babbit asked.
"Nowhere" Xeria (surprisingly) answered partially, giving Babbit a partial answer rather than the true explanation that she had gone to torment young children and teenage males for a while to get her strength back up.
"There's a Celebration Gift for you!" Aries announced suddenly.
"To make the stay more pleasant" Arcanum added.
"What?" Babbit asked.
"We put a penthouse suite behind the announcer's booth!" Arcanum said proudly.
"With a free continental breakfast every day" Aries contributed.
"And as an added bonus...." Arcanum said, starting to sound like a TV infomercial.
"Tonight's introductory stay includes your sweetheart to help you break the place in!" Aries said. "For only 29.95 per month!" (But everyone ignored that part.)
"Wow, and I thought the last 50 ACHMS were whacked...." Babbit muttered. "Who knows what the next 50 will do to us....
Xeria twitched her staff in her hands, which may have been either a sign of sheer dread or delightful anticipation.
And they both hurried up the stairs to the new penthouse suite, where their sweethearts were waiting with roses and champagne.
