Chapter 54: Viva, Las Vegas!
Sheldon Cooper and Las Vegas. Part One. Two things that, on the surface, seem to not go together at all. But stranger things have happened.
When they returned to Altadena, the first thing Niki did after unpacking was call Amanda.
Amanda answered her phone. Hello?
Girl, it's me, Niki. Raj called us yesterday. This is so sudden. I'm happy for you guys, but we need to talk about what I will do as Maid of Honor. What about my dress? Do you have any dresses picked out for us?
Okay. I wanted you for my Maid of Honor, and I've picked Penny, Bernie, and Georgia as my bridesmaids. I want you guys to wear what you wore to the prom for our wedding.
Our dresses were all different shades of red.
I know. That sounds perfect to me.
Red? You want us to wear our Prom dresses? But their red, sexy, and show a lot of skin.
Exactly. I want my bridesmaid's dresses to reflect how we all want our marriages to be. How we want to live your lives together. Niki, do you want your married life to be sexy, or do you want to be a modern day Scarlett O'Hara? I want sexy.
I understand that, but have you seen our dresses?
Yeah, Penny showed me pictures. They're perfect.
Okay. At least I won't have to buy a dress by tomorrow.
That's one way of looking at it.
When's the wedding?
Wednesday night.
I think Sheldon and I will drive up tomorrow night and stay for a couple of days. We don't leave for the tour until Sunday night.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry. I forgot you won't be going with Raj. But it's only for ten days. And you will be Raj's wife! I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around that.
YOU are? He just came out and asked me on Saturday. We planned like mad and, well, here we are.
I hope you know you're getting a top notch guy as a husband.
Yep, I know. That's why I said yes.
Look, I'll let you get back to what you were doing. Sheldon and I have a lot of unpacking and repacking to do. Tell Raj we are both happy for him and we'll be there Wednesday night. Is the school okay with this?
Sure. They've gotten an adjunct to teach my classes for a few days. It's not unheard of. Niki, we'll call you when we get there. It's going to be at seven at the Bellagio Wedding Chapel. Raj just came in and I have to go.
Got it. We'll be there. See you there.
Okay. Bye.
After she ended the call, Niki looked up from her unpacking and smiled, "Sheldon, we won't have to leave for Vegas until tomorrow night. I'm glad we have reservations for both Tuesday and Wednesday."
He sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to him. She joined him there and he asked her, "I have not been to Las Vegas in many, many years. Has it changed at all? What can I expect?"
Niki debated telling him a white lie, but decided on the truth, "It's still the same. Lots of neon lights, smoking, crowds, and noise. All things you hate."
"I do wish Raj could have it right here."
Niki reached for her phone, "Wait. Maybe they could. Let's call them."
Sheldon stopped her by laying a hand on her arm, "Niki, don't. Raj has texted me that they chose this location because they could have a honeymoon there for a few days before we left. Now I detest the idea of all the people and the germs, but I handle Disneyland without too much of a problem. Niki, Raj is our friend. If I have to, I will stay in our room until the actual ceremony."
Niki put her phone away and nodded, "All right, Sheldon. I understand about letting them have the wedding they want. Do you realize that outside of Stuart, you will be the last of you guys to get married?"
Sheldon reminded her, "Niki, I was married before. Have you forgotten that fact?" He noticed an embarrassed look on her face and squeezed her hand gently, "Let's just say I have been incredible lucky twice when it has come to women."
Niki smiled at him to let him know the awkward moment had passed, "You're right, of course. Well, let's unpack and order in some Thai food. Does that sound like a good idea?"
"How about you making us a pizza? "
Niki thought of all the unpacking, laundry, and repacking she had to do in the next twenty four hours and sighed, "Tomorrow I will make us pizza. I promise. Tonight, I'm too tired to think of that."
Sheldon inwardly chided himself for his selfish request and replied, "Tomorrow night we will be in Las Vegas. We can have your pizza another time."
"Okay, when we get back I'll make us pizza. But tonight, please order us some Thai."
"Of course. Lend me your phone. Mine is still packed away in my bags somewhere."
Niki unpacked her suitcase for the third time in one week and sighed, "I guess I'll have to get used to this. Packing, then unpacking, and then packing again." They had arrived in Las Vegas less than an hour previously and were still getting settled.
Sheldon sat down on the bed and tried to explain the clothing routine they would be facing, "You won't unpack as much as you think you will. You're not going to believe this, but those morning shows have clothes ready for you to wear when you get there. You just show up in your sweats or jeans and they do the rest. They pick your makeup, do your hair in a style they choose, and give you a list of questions they will be asking you."
"Can you object to any of the questions?" She needed to know this in advance. She didn't want to answer any questions she deemed too personal.
Sheldon shrugged and continued with his explanation, "You can, but unless you're an A Lister, it won't do you much good. They'll sandwich us in between two guests who are better known and give us about ten minutes. It's pure hell."
Niki finally sat down next to him and asked, "But we'll get money for this?"
Sheldon's smile grew wide and he said, "Oh yes. That's why we're doing this. After Binary takes their cut, we will both net about seventy five thousand dollars for our time on this tour."
"That doesn't sound like a lot of money for disrupting your life for several months."
Sheldon gently scolded her, "People in the military make much less than that and their lives are often disrupted. I know it isn't comfortable to be on the road, but we need to make some money, Niki. After purchasing our property, financing the Fourth, Disneyland, Christmas presents, my new car, and our wedding, this money will come in handy.
Niki sighed and responded to his chiding, "I understand. I have no right to complain, but I'm still going to hate it."
"You might not. Most people do, but some thrive on it. I think it's being the center of attention for several months. Their egos are properly fed."
Niki got up and looked inside the mini fridge. She wondered if he had been talking about himself. She hoped not. "Mine doesn't need feeding, thank you. But the money? Yeah, I could use that."
"And that, Dr. Horner, is why we will be part of a traveling circus for awhile." Sheldon then began to unpack his own bags.
When he was finished, Niki made a suggestion, "Okay. Now that we're unpacked, let's get us some dinner."
Before they could order anything, a knock came on the door.
A familiar voice rang out before Niki had a chance to get the door, "Hey, guys! Are you ready to party?" When Niki opened the door, Penny pointed down the hall and said, "Sheldon, Bachelor Party is in Raj's room, 321. Amanda's is right here!"
Sheldon stood to one side open-mouthed as Penny and the rest of the ladies waltzed into the room. "Sheldon," Penny ordered him, "Out. Room 321, remember?"
Sheldon rediscovered the power of speech and demanded, "Who decided this room would be the site for the ladies' party? Niki? Were you in on this?"
Niki looked at Sheldon and exclaimed, "God no, honey!" She shook her head and in a firm voice told them, "Girls, not here. Sheldon and I just got back from Disneyland yesterday and we drove all the way out here to be in Raj's wedding. We both need to rest, not party. Penny, I hate to say this, but take the party over to your room. Sheldon can go to Raj's room if he wants, but I'm staying right here and resting."
Penny took a seat and tried to reason with her, "Nik, I understand you being tired, but you're leaving on Monday for a road trip and this may be our last chance to have some fun together before you leave."
Niki stood firm, "Nope. Not buying it, Penny. We have the wedding and the reception tomorrow. We'll have lots of time to have fun. I'm sorry, but tonight I want to get some dinner and sleep. Like I said, Sheldon can go with the guys if he wants to, but I'm staying put."
Sheldon finally found his phone and explained to the ladies, "I will call Raj and inform him myself that we just got in and if they want to throw a bachelor party, they should have told us before this. Last minute doesn't work for me right now."
Niki backed him up, "Nor I. Penny, let me explain this to you so you'll understand. Sheldon and I are tired. We love both you and Raj, but we don't want to party tonight. It isn't a feasible thing to ask of two people who just finished driving four hours to get here. I do believe Raj told us you all were flying in. Am I correct?"
Penny tried to reason with Sheldon, "But don't you want to see Raj while he is still single?"
He responded in a voice that left no room for argument, "Dear lord, I see Howard and Leonard all the time and they're married. I don't see a wedding making any difference in the amount of time Raj and I spend together. We do work in the same facility and see each other almost every day. "Besides, Raj is going on tour with us. I will have all the time in the world to see him."
Bernie backed Sheldon up, "Penny, he has a point. And Niki does look beat. Hey, I know! The wedding isn't until tomorrow night. We can have both parties tomorrow at noon. How does that sound, Niki?
Niki's face broke out in a wide grin and she told Bernie, "If Penny's okay with that, it sounds great to me. Penny?"
Her friend looked more than a little guilty and shamed, "Sure. I guess I wasn't thinking. I got caught up in all the excitement. I forgot you guys drove all the way out here. Sorry. Will you be willing to have it here tomorrow, Niki?"
"Of course. I'll be more rested and better able to enjoy myself."
Penny conceded defeat, "Okay. We'll tell Raj. It actually works out better that way. I guess we should all get some dinner and some rest. We're all going to have a big day tomorrow. I'll call you about eleven?"
Niki smiled at her friend, "You better. Oh, Bernie, thanks for explaining it to her. We're not trying to be difficult or anything."
"Oh I know." Bernie studied Niki closely, "I've been there. Get your rest, girl. See you tomorrow."
After they all had left, Sheldon looked at her and suggested, "Forget about going downstairs for dinner. I'll order room service. You're right, we need to rest and you look very tired. Niki, I insist on driving home.
"Thanks, Cooper. It's appreciated. I just want to rest and get my mojo back before we leave."
Sheldon kissed the top of her head and went over to the bed, "We could both use that." He picked up a menu on the nightstand, "What sounds good to you?"
She shrugged and gave a wan smile, "Maybe some soup and Chinese food, if they have it."
"Chinese it is. Let's eat and get ready for bed. It seems we will both be having a full day tomorrow."
Niki began to undress, "Ain't that the truth? Sheldon, you order while I take my shower. I can't wait for the wedding tomorrow and I want to look my best."
He smiled as he watched her naked form cross the room, "As do I. Raj is a good friend. I have never forgotten if it hadn't been for him, we would never have met."
"I know." She went over to him and ran her hands over his chest and kissed him passionately, "You know, I'm not too tired for some things."
"I see that, Dr. Horner. But shall we have dinner and our showers first?"
The next morning found Niki ensconced with Penny, Bernadette, Amanda, and Georgia in her and Sheldon's hotel suite. They were all talking excitedly about the wedding and giving Amanda hints about what was to come with married life.
Bernie started the conversation, "You become their mother as well as their wife. They never clean up after themselves, so it's like you have two full time jobs."
Niki countered that with, "I just hired a cleaning service. Not because Sheldon won't clean, but because he likes it too much. He would spend every evening cleaning if I let him. This way, we actually spend some quality time together."
Bernie grinned, "Want to trade? You know, I give you a short, horny, engineer for a tall, horny, physicist?"
Niki shook her head and shuddered, "I don't think so. I've seen Howard in action."
Bernie narrowed her eyes and replied sharply, "I've seen Sheldon in action too, and he's no walk in the park on a sunny day."
Niki was quick to defend her man, "Sheldon doesn't make rude comments to other women and avoid splitting the bill for lunch."
Bernie defended her man, "So he's thrifty! At least Howard has a sense of humor."
Niki knew when she was beat, "You've got me there."
Penny entered the fray, "What about Leonard? Have either of you ever had to build up someone's self esteem on a daily basis?"
Niki sighed, "I can't go there. Sheldon has an ego the size of Jupiter."
Bernie fired her final shot, "Only as large as Jupiter, huh?"
Amanda had heard enough, "Guys, guys, I know none of your men is perfect, but you still love them. Right?"
Bernie nodded and replied, "Yeah. Howie's really a pretty good husband. He's a fantastic father, too."
Niki smiled at Bernie and added, "That he is. Between the two of you, you've raised an amazing daughter."
Nice Bernie suddenly came out to play, "I'm sure you and Sheldon will be good parents when it's your turn, too."
Niki sighed once more, "One can only hope." She decided to change the subject. "Penny, do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?"
"Not yet, but soon. I'm not quite four months along."
Georgia asked her, "Do you guys feel ready to be parents?"
Penny gave a little laugh, "Does anyone? I'm a little scared. But mostly, I'm happy and excited."
Niki couldn't help adding, "And Leonard?"
"He's over the moon. Say, Amanda, do you and Raj want any kids?"
"No, not really, Penny. We have Cinnamon."
Bernie was puzzled and stated, "But she's a dog."
Amanda put her finger to her lips, "Shhh. Don't tell Raj, okay? NIki, are you nervous about marrying Sheldon?"
"No, not really. I was married before, so I know the drill."
Georgia countered that statement with, "But you've never been married to Sheldon."
Niki gave a shrug of her shoulders and replied, "No, but we've lived together for a while now. He's not hard to accommodate."
Penny spoke up and asked her in an incredulous voice, "You're kidding, right? He drove me and Leonard up the wall."
"Yeah, so I've heard. No, he's been pretty nice to live with, for the most part. He hates to sleep in, though, and that drives me crazy."
Penny asked her, "Still watches Dr. Who at six in the morning every damn Saturday?"
Niki nodded and continued, "You got it. He also insists on taking at least two showers per day and sorting his breakfast cereals by fiber content. That's not too bad, though.
Bernie had to know, "Does he have his 'spot' on your couch?"
"Oh yeah, that he does. And I'm not allowed to sit there, either."
Amanda winced, "I couldn't live with that."
Niki decided she had better start defending him; he was going to be her husband, after all. "But he has good qualities. He never eyes other women, he's more than willing to help me clean when necessary, he great at packing suitcases, and he is more than willing to give me my space. He likes his own space, too."
Georgia looked over at Bernadette, "What's it like being married to Howard?"
"That's easy to answer. It's like having two kids, and one of them sleeps with you."
Amanda sounded worried, "But you guys make it work, right?"
Bernie reassured her friend, "Yeah, he's lucky I'm crazy in love with him. That's the key. Work at staying in love, even if you don't like them sometimes. That goes for both men and women."
Amanda smiled and looked dreamy eyed, "I'll always like Raj."
Penny laughed loudly and then informed Raj's intended, "Yep, you've never been married before. Girl, there will be times it's only the threat of the death penalty that keeps them alive. Leonard can be a little needy and whiny. It's gets tough sometimes to deal with that. And then there's his mother…" Penny rolled her eyes.
Niki blurted out, "What about Stuart? We haven't asked Georgia about Stuart."
Georgia answered her kindly, "Stuart and I don't live together, yet. I have my son to think about. If and when we get engaged, I think that's when we'll move in together."
Penny agreed with her, "Yeah, that's best for your son. He likes Stuart, right?"
"He adores him. Hey, Amanda, are you staying here for your honeymoon?"
"Yep. And Bernie, please keep Howard from pranking us." She looked at Bernie, who was about to object, "He'd do it, too."
Bernie had to admit it and grinned, "Don't I know it. Hey, does anyone want a little wine?" She got up and went to the mini fridge.
Penny shook her head and replied, "Niki and I don't drink, but you guys can."
Niki had a suggestion, "At Disneyland, they had this amazing alcohol free champagne. We ought to see if they have it here."
Amanda nodded in reply, "We can have it at the reception if they do. Nik, are you and Sheldon going to dance at the reception?"
"Try and stop us."
Penny told the group, "It's so strange watching Sheldon dance. You wouldn't think he'd be good at it, but he really is great."
A mischievous grin filled Niki's face, "It's like anything else, men just need the proper motivation. They're like children sometimes."
The ladies all broke into loud laughter.
Amanda asked them in a worried voice, "Surely they aren't really that childlike?"
Penny gave a short laugh and reassured the bride-to-be, "Well, they have their moments, but we all do, I guess. Actually, we're kinda exaggerating. Most of the time they really do act like grown men."
Meanwhile, in Raj's room….
The guys each have a game controller in their hands, playing Halo in teams. Raj, and Howard make up one team and Sheldon and Leonard make up another. Stuart doesn't like Halo so he is merely being a spectator. Next to each man is a half empty bottle of beer and a piece of pizza. Shouts of "Cover me!", "Gotcha sucka!", "Take that!" Oh yeah, well watch this!", "Oh no you didn't!", and the proverbial "I'm on a roll!" are heard.
Leonard calls for a break and asks, "Who needs another beer?"
They all answer in unison, "I do!" They each grab a beer from Leonard and the battle continues.
Eventually, Sheldon puts his beer down and speaks for all of them when he says, "I must commend you, Koothrappali. I thought your wedding was going to ruin Halo night. It seems I sold you short. I came here expecting the usual boring Bachelor Party."
Raj took a swig of beer and informed the group, "Guys, we love our ladies, but nothing comes between us and Halo Night! Even if it has to be in the afternoon."
Chants of "Halo, Halo, Halo!" fill the room.
One hour before the ceremony, all the women met in the bride's dressing room to help Amanda with her dress and to change into their former prom dresses turned bridesmaid dresses. Amanda pulled out a garment bag, opened it, and revealed her wedding dress to them. It was not the white, lacy, gown they had expected, but rather a gorgeous red and gold, one shouldered, sari. The style of dress suited Amanda perfectly. It highlighted her emerald green eyes and amazing figure.
Penny was the first to speak, "That has got to be the most gorgeous wedding dress I have ever seen. Did you pick it out because of Raj being from India?"
"No. Not at all. I've always loved wearing a sari around the house. The simpler ones are both comfortable and flattering. A win/win in my book. For what it's worth, Raj wanted me to go all out with the lace, satin, and tulle. I told him I was sorry, but that isn't my style. He was disappointed, but he said his parents would be happy when they got the wedding pics."
Bernie chirped, "Hey, he's marrying you, not a dress."
Niki added, "Besides, that's one gorgeous dress. I'm actually a little jealous. Those colors are amazing!"
Amanda smiled at her friends, happy they agreed with her choice. "Now do you guys see why I wanted you to wear your prom dresses? They all go so great with this sari."
Georgia looked at all of them and said, "Well, they're all red, but they don't look anything alike."
Amanda looked at all her girlfriends individually and then made the point, "Think about it. Neither do you guys. You're all different, yet beautiful in your own way. Bernie, you've got cute little blonde spitfire down pat. Penny, blonde bombshell pretty much says it all. Niki, you're the girl next door with a hint of naughty running through her. That's hot! Georgia, you look exotic and chic at the same time. You may have the most intriguing look of all of us. And your eyes are amazing! Me, I'm just a tall, busty, brunette."
Niki added, "With green cat's eyes."
Penny continued that thought, "And perfect teeth."
Bernadette finished their observations with, "And a tiny waist to die for!"
Amanda signaled them to stop, "Okay, girls. Let's just leave it at we're all attractive women. Now, let's talk about the guys. Let's start with Leonard. Penny, why are you attracted to Leonard?"
She thought for a second and then said, "Well, he's got the kindest heart I've ever known. He's always got my back. He's a really good lover. He's really funny most of the time and he's super, duper smart."
Amanda grinned at her, "Awesome. Now, Niki. What do you like best about Sheldon?"
Niki didn't take long to answer her, "He's loyal, he's tall, he's the most intelligent person I've ever met, he's totally honest, he's got the bluest eyes I've ever seen, and he's great in bed."
Amanda's smile went wide and she looked at Bernadette, "Great. Now Bernie. What turns you on about Howard?"
Bernie, like Niki, answered quickly, "He's a great father. Like Sheldon, he's really loyal. He's so, so, funny. He's really caring. And he makes me feel like I'm the most desirable woman on earth. Plus, he's good with his hands. Both at work and …"
Amanda nodded and smiled, "Got it. Now, Georgia. What do you love most about Stuart?"
Georgia's face softened and she replied, "He's kind. He's smart. He's caring. He cares about both me and my son. And, he's very romantic and sweet, especially you-know-where."
Amanda giggled and told them, "Got us some studs here, huh? I love that."
Bernie challenged her, "Okay, Amanda. Why are you marrying Raj?"
She answered, "He's cute. He's a great cook. He's got a fantastic sense of humor. He's very romantic. He's an astrophysicist, like me. And he is wicked good in bed. Plus, I love his dog, too. Cinnamon may have stolen my heart even before Raj did.
Niki nodded and followed with, "So, we're all happy with our men. That's good. Now comes the difficult question. What bugs you most about your guy? Penny?"
"Leonard can be insecure and whiny sometimes. Niki?"
"Sheldon can be critical of others and stubborn. Bernie?"
"Howard can act very immature sometimes. Georgia?"
"Like Leonard, Stuart can be insecure. He can be a bit of a pessimist, too."
Bernie looked at Amanda and demanded, "Okay, sister. What about Raj? What bugs you the most about him?"
"His nerdy side. He loves gaming and is always hosting Halo nights at our house. Every damn Wednesday, Howard, Leonard, Sheldon, and Stuart are there. I love the guys, but the gaming can drive me nuts."
Penny countered that with, "I like to think of it as a chance for some 'me time'."
Bernie agreed with her, "Me too!"
Niki nodded and told her friends, "I hear ya. I think the best thing about all of these guys is that they have a full life besides us. They do their own things a lot and let us do ours. But you know what? We should alternate holding Halo night. Amanda does have the guys over every Wednesday. It wouldn't hurt us to share hosting duties."
Bernie reminded her, "Wednesday is a school night for Kelly. No can do."
"Okay, Amanda, Penny, and I will split the responsibility. But summers and vacations you're part of this. Okay?"
Amanda agreed, "Sure. I wouldn't want them to not see each other. Can you imagine if they tried to get us to do those things with them?"
Penny nodded, "You're right. They have their friends to talk to about comic books, gaming, and Star Trek. So they don't bore us to tears with it."
Niki reached for her dress and looked at Penny, "Ain't that the truth. I still don't get what's so great about Dr. Who, but Sheldon watches it religiously."
Amanda looked at the clock and gasped, "Girls, look at the time! We should be getting ready now. In one more hour, I'll be Mrs. Rajesh Koothrappali!"
Meanwhile, the men were in their own dressing room, preparing for Raj's big day.
Howard looked up from fastening his cuff links, "Just think, in a little less than an hour you will have gained a ball and chain. Your bachelor days of fun and games will be over."
Raj stared at his friend in consternation, "Excuse me. How is Amanda a ball and chain?"
Howard continued explaining his point, "C'mon, Raj. You know the reality. Once you're married it's all honey do lists and nagging."
Sheldon finished tying his tie and interjected, "Amy never nagged much. And NIki never has."
Leonard added, "Penny has never given me a honey do list. What are you talking about?"
Raj stood up and checked his appearance in the mirror, "Dudes, Amanda is an independent woman. She's not about to hand me any kind of list. And speaking of ball and chains, don't you guys come over to play Halo every Wednesday. And don't we all get together on Sundays for laser tag or paintball? Where do you get this 'ball and chain' bit from, Howard?"
Howard looked at each of them and shook his head sadly, "C'mon. Be honest fellas. Our freewheeling bachelor days are behind us."
Sheldon went over to him and reminded him, "As I recall, our freewheeling bachelor days consisted of Halo night, laser tag, paintball, kite fighting, video game marathons, and going to the comic book store. I may be mistaken, Howard, but we still do all of those things."
Leonard agreed with him, "Yeah, what freedom have we lost exactly? Howard?"
Howard turned to them and sighed, "Well, for one, we can't just see a hot chick and move on in. You know what I mean?"
Raj attempted to bring his friend back to reality, "Howard, first of all, we never had the guts to do that. Second, our ladies are all hot chicks. Have you looked at them lately?"
Stuart voiced his own opinion, "Yeah, Howard. If we want to be honest here, Penny, Niki, Bernadette, Georgia, and Amanda are all out of our league. Personally, I don't know how we did it."
Sheldon picked up his suit jacket, "I can only speak for myself, but I find Niki extremely attractive."
Leonard ran a comb through his hair and agreed with his friend, "Yeah. I sometimes pinch myself wondering how I managed to have a wife like Penny."
Stuart straightened his tie, "Georgia is more than I ever thought it was possible for me to have, fellas. She's beautiful!"
Raj joined in, "Dude, Amanda turns heads wherever she goes. Remember the Physics Bowl?"
Howard had to happily concede defeat, "Okay, okay. I guess we all did do okay. Bernie is a beautiful, intelligent woman and I guess I sometimes have a hard time believing she wanted to marry me."
Sheldon held up his hand, "Listen. I hear music. I do believe it's time we made our way into the chapel."
Leonard had a big smile for his friend, "Hey, Raj. In a little while you are going to be married to a wonderful lady."
"Don't I know it. Let's go. I don't want to be late to my own wedding."
Will the wedding go off without a hitch? Will Sheldon and Niki explore Las Vegas? Will the guys ever finish their Halo game? Read on and find out.
