Hello wonderful people!

I am the worst I know. I am so sorry. I swear I didn't mean to take so long; I hit a low point in my life and honestly, nothing mattered, including me. Writing was just looking at a blank screen for an hour and when I really wanted to try and write, I just looked at my writing at just thought of how awful I was and it would be better for everyone if I just stopped. I'm trying to convince myself that writing makes me happy, even if it's not perfect like I want it to be. Writing is something I love, I just need to remind myself that it doesn't need to be flawless.

Well I do hope you like this, and again, I am so sorry.

I would love you to write one specifically, after the resurrection of Sammy Season 2, the show saw a little of Dean overprotective, concerned and attentive but I think that could be explored in more detail, all that.

Dean would die for Sam.

That was clear to anyone who met the brothers longer than an hour. Dean would always be watching over his little brother like a hawk, keeping an eye out for anyone or thing that would even look at Sam wrong. While it got more noticeable after the death of their mother, one could not deny that when Dean was just four years old, he would listen intently to his mother's belly, waiting to hear the movement of his new sibling. "Are they a boy or a girl?' He would ask daily, assuming that the carrier of the child should automatically know such information and growing impatient when he dad pushed Dean to ask his mom.

"I don't know." Mary would answer with a fond smile, running her hands through Dean's hair. "But no matter what, you will be a big brother."

Big brother…a title that kids his age disliked and rolled their eyes at. But Dean couldn't understand that. When his sibling came, Dean knew nothing would make him resent his title. Nothing.

When Sammy was born, Dean insisted that he could take care of Sam like a real parent would, begging to feed Sam when it was dinner and watching his mom carefully as she picked him up, watching intently and noting where to hold his head and legs. Every night, every single night since Sammy was born, Dean would ask dad to pick him up and lean him over Sammy, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Good night Sammy." He whispered, his promise running through his four year old mind. He would never resent his big brother title.

No matter what.

SPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam was here.

Not lying motionless on that bed, hands laid gently on his chest with the sweet illusion that he was just resting.

Sam was here.

Dean kept staring at him, heart trembling with joy and fear simultaneously. He watched as Sammy stuffed pizza in his mouth hungrily, oblivious to Dean's staring. Sam was paler than he liked, dark circles under his eyes but he was breathing and solid and thankyouGod he was here.

Sam wiped his mouth with a napkin absentmindedly before grabbing his laptop. "So what did Bobby say?"

Dean's green eyes snapped up to Sam's comment. Images flashed through his head of Booby giving up on Sam, wanting to bury him, wanting Dean to move on and deal what was next.

Without Sam?

Never.

"About what?" Dean asked, looking away from Sam for the first time. Sharp pricks stabbed at his stomach at Sam's question; he fought to control himself. Sam couldn't have known about…what happened.

"About what to do about yellow eyes." Sam replied without looking at Dean, fingering flying across the keyboard, no doubt pulling up any research he could find about demons and hell and who knows what else. God, Dean missed that. Just two days and it felt like a hundred years in hell.

Dean fought back a grim laugh. He would know exactly what that would feel like in one year's time. Flames licking at his flesh, blades piercing anywhere it could reach, he would be begging for an end, a break, and no matter what happened, he would suffer forever…until he turned into one of them…a demon. Would he torture others too? Would he relish is slicing skin from a screaming victim? Would he be a monster? It would never end.

Then he looked at Sammy, bright eyes focused at his task, white teeth biting at his lip slightly in deep thought as he wasted no time trying to save others from these creatures. All of his little brother whole and right there within arm's length. And honestly?

It was worth it. Yes, all of it was worth it.

Being a big brother was his title. Nothing could make him regret having Sammy as his brother.

"Dean?" Sammy questioned again, eyes flickering over to his big brother thoughtfully, curious as to Dean's longer than normal silence.

"Yeah," Dean cleared his throat, praying his eyes weren't watery. "No he didn't, but we'll figure it out." He beamed encouragingly, his smile genuine as he watched Sam's own dimpled grin grow.

"Yeah, we got this." Sam smiled back. Turning back to focus on his research.

Dean looked at Sam for a few seconds in silence, his glare unnoticed by Sam. With no warning, Dean got up and determinedly walked over to Sam, and without responding to Sam's questioningly look, Dean pulled Sam into a hug.

It was different from their last hug, when he pulled Sam against him when he saw Sammy breathing and unharmed. This was soft, loving, and pure. Sam's eyes widened at the strong grip he was embraced in, but wrapped his arms around his brother soon after, questions running through his mind but knowing that they could be answered another time.

"You…you know, Sammy, that…" Dean tried, struggling to say the three words that had been drilled in him all his life were wrong. Love was not something a soldier said, or truly showed. But right now, John was the furthest thing from Dean's mind.

Sam smiled softly, laying his head against Dean's shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut. "Yeah Dean…I know."

Dean smiled and pulled Sam impossibly closer. His Sammy was alive. And that was all that mattered.

Next: I'd love to see your version of the Trials. More specifically Sam's one line that broke us all? "So?"