crack!fic

339


The day has come. Draco has been preparing for this day for weeks and now it's finally here. There's an excitement buzzing in his stomach as hug lugs his bag closer. He can almost see the rocket now. The rocket to Mars.

To Pigfarts.

He's finally going. Draco can't be more exciting than he already is.

As he approaches with his suitcase, Draco can see that a small figure is standing at the entrance of the rocket, telling people which way to go. On closer inspection, Draco can a hat. He knows that it's not just any hat — it must be Pigfarts' famous Sorting Hat! Draco has wanted to see it since he was young.

He can barely stop from bouncing on his feet as the line moves, directed by the Sorting Hat. Soon enough, Draco is at the entrance of the rocket, right in front of the Sorting Hat.

"Give me your bag," the Sorting Hat instructs Draco. Once Draco gives a confused look — the Sorting Hat doesn't have any hands! — the Sorting Hat sighs and adds, "Just place it on the ground next to me."

Draco follows the instructions given to him and places down his bag, waiting. It's not like Draco packed anything dangerous. Just some clothes, his school materials — oh, and a snack, of course.

"You can't come aboard," the Sorting Hat says with a 'hpmh'.

"What?" Draco asks, feeling slightly enraged. He has been waiting for this moment for years.

"You have hot dogs in your bag. Hot dogs aren't allowed on the rocket," the Sorting Hat explains.

"What do you mean you don't allow hot dogs on the rocket?" Draco asks. Of course he packed hot dogs; they're his favorite food! And now he can't even bring them?

"Rumbleroar is allergic. We can't have them," the Sorting Hat explains. Draco's heart sinks. "You won't be allowed on until you dispose of them."

Well, Draco figures that there's only thing to do. He pulls open his back and starts eating.