Many thanks to my writing mentor, myboygeorge, for so many things, but mostly helping out with a fluffbomb of a chapter :)
July 5, next day
Flora's Point of View
On our second day at the Hamptons, there was a lull in kids-related activities for awhile because all of the kids ages four and under all went for a nap at the same time, and were being watched over in the main house by Madison, Lanie and Juliana. This meant that all of us parents had time to do whatever we wanted.
I chose to walk down the beach and Elijah came with me. I knew people would notice it, but I didn't care.
"Lovely day, isn't it?" Elijah commented as we walked north from the house on the beach; these moments of adult peacefulness didn't come around too often, and I wanted to get the most out of them. "I don't get to the beach often enough."
"No?"
He shook his head. "Construction keeps me pretty busy, so by the time weekends roll around, I just wanna crash."
"Oh, I believe it. My photography is nothing compared to construction, but I understand being extremely busy."
"What's your bread and butter in the taking-pictures business?"
"Engaged couples, weddings and newborns. It's what Melissa and I specialize in, anyway."
"What's your favorite part?"
"When I see the joy in the new couples, and the curiosity in the tiny babies because everything is brand new to them. Sometimes if we're photographing more than one child and another one needs the parents' attention, I get to hold the first baby."
"Has a baby ever vomited on you?"
"A few times, but they have a tendency to fall asleep in my arms if I hold them long enough." I grinned bashfully. "The parents claim I have a magic touch that Melissa pretends to be jealous of. I have yet to see a little one fall asleep her arms."
"And for now, you're hogging the glory?" he teased.
I shrugged. "Melissa's better at handling criers than I am because it's been awhile since I had a newborn of my own."
"Why is Melissa better at that part?"
"She has four nephews and three nieces. Five of the seven of them are one-and-a-half years old and under."
Elijah let out a long single-noted whistle. "That's a full house on Christmas."
"Melissa has a blast, though."
"You ever think about having a big family like that one day?"
"Yes, but…"
My voice trailed off as I thought of what I was going to say, and I suddenly felt embarrassed. Instead of speaking, I moved towards the edge of the water to dip my toes in as we walked. Elijah joined me, taking his hand in mine and giving it a gentle squeeze of encouragement. We both stood still, looking out at the water gently cresting under the afternoon sun, not paying much attention to the water lapping at our ankles.
"It's okay, Flora. You can tell me anything."
I knew he was telling me the truth, and not just saying it.
"I definitely want more babies when the time is right, when I meet the right man." I turned to him, scared to death to say it but knowing I'd feel better if I got it off my chest. "Something tells me you're that right man, and all we need is a little bit of time."
"I'd like to be that right man."
My heart bottomed out in surprise because I hadn't been expecting that at all. We're nuts about each other, but this has been the first serious conversation we've had about our relationship.
"You do?"
He grinned and moved to hug me, but I put a hand on his arm to stop him.
"I want this, Elijah; I want all of this with you and more, but I have so many hang-ups, not the least of which is my son who is almost three. We both know you can handle my PTSD episodes pretty well, but I'm afraid of being… unbalanced."
"What do you mean, 'unbalanced'?"
"This isthe first relationship I've had since Hikaru passed. I'm ready for it, but with me there is nothing half-assed and there are no second chances, not when you have the responsibilities I do. Francis is the same way; you've seen how hard he takes it when plans with friends get changed."
"I know, but your worries aren't a one way street." Even though he sounded reassuring, I saw a small glint of worry in his eyes. "Are you scared that you won't have time for Francis and a relationship, too?"
"Yes."
"It's okay to worry that kind of thing. I'm not a parent, but I watched my sister go through something similar to this. It was really hard for awhile, but she adjusted over time and now, neither my mother nor I have ever seen Holly so happy." Elijah rested a hand of support in the small of my back. "Are you worried about not being able to devote yourself to Francis one hundred percent like he's used to?"
"Yes." I repeated as I closed my eyes as fear rushed up in me like the rushing water of my nightmares. "All he has ever known is just the two of us, but he's already made room in his life for you, and if you left—"
"Hey, hey, look at me. I'm not going anywhere."
Elijah put his fingertips to my cheeks, traced it back to my ear to tuck a loose strand of hair back in. I opened my eyes, saw him nodded seriously.
"That's a completely valid fear, but you trust me."
"You know I do."
"Then trust me when I tell you that I'll be as patient and supportive as you two need me to be. If that means that we have to take our intimacy slow, then that's what we'll do."
My heart rose into my throat. "You would do that?"
"Of course I would." He paused a second, thinking. "You know I lost my dad when I was a kid, right?"
"Uh-huh."
"The last time I saw him, we were fighting over something stupid, but he called me that night he called me on shift and said he loved me and that we'd talk more when he came home. A couple hours after I went to bed, I woke up because I could hear my mother and sister sobbing their eyes out, and that's when they told me that dad had died on the job." Elijah paused, clearing his throat. "I was literally sick to my stomach with guilt after my mom told me, and for ages afterwards, it was very hard to let good things in again."
"Because you were scared you'd lose them without noticing, like you took them for granted?"
"Exactly, Flora." He held his hands in mine now. "I learned to see the happy things in life all over again, and because of that, I've found you and Francis."
I could only smile at this.
"I learned something else, too," he continued. "Because I lost my old man—someone very important to me—and I made it through that with my mom and sister, I learned that everybody has baggage."
My heart had almost completely melted, but I still had one thing that I was worried about and Elijah read my mind.
"If you're scared Francis might misinterpret your actions and think that you don't care or something, or if you're even worried about how to juggle everything, I don't mind saying it as many times as you need to hear it: I'm in this for keeps just like you, and I'll give you as much support as you need, even if that means you need me to back down."
"No, backing down would be worse because I want him to have a constant male figure in his life. I'm not asking you to be a replacement daddy for him, but the only men he ever sees me with are either family or doctors... and he likes you, so much."
"I like him too, and I'd teach him about everything I know about being a man, and I'd even take to see the Yankees play at Yankee Stadium as many times as he wanted, especially since my dad and I went there a lot."
"Mets." I corrected him automatically. "We do not root for the Evil Empire in our house."
"My point, Flora, is that there are so many memories I have of those short years I had with my father that I want to pass on to Francis. Those milestone, watershed moments for a son and a father from his first day of school to his first sports game, his first straight-A report card, the first man to man talk, his first love. Those are moments I want and can see us having in the future. Hell, he already knows about kissing because Alyssa was telling him about it yesterday."
I giggled at this, not surprised. "And what would it be like if we found out a future sibling of Francis' would have special needs or an illness that requires constant attention and support?"
Elijah kissed me on the forehead. "Then we would handle it together as a team, a family. If it came down to therapy and/or numerous hospital visits, I wouldn't back down. Part of being in a relationship is about having each other to lean on, but an equally strong part is having someone to freak out with you if those hospital visits are cause for worry, but the most important thing to remember is you are not alone. Not anymore, not ever."
That did it for me—in one swift move, I was on my tiptoes and kissing him passionately. It was like...like nothing I'd ever had in my life; I'm no stranger to kissing, being a widow and mother, but this was so much different than with Hikaru. This was our special moment, the start of something wonderful and new for us both.
Then the kiss deepened, his hands on my back pulling me close; the feel of his body against mine, a body toughened by years of working manual labor, was so thrilling, so sensual, that I couldn't refrain from giving a little moan.
Our enthusiasm got the better of us, though…
A moment later we lost our footing in the sand and crashed into the shallows along the shore. After letting out a surprised squeak against his lips, I felt him begin to shake with laughter, and when we sat up, we were both cracking up.
"That's one hell of a first kiss!" I pushed my hair away from my face. "We'll never forget that one."
"No argument there!" he leaned forward and kissed me again. "Does this mean I have the pleasure of calling you my girlfriend now?"
I purposefully splashed at Elijah as he got to his feet. "Only if I can call you my boyfriend."
"Sounds good to me!"
I grinned, held up my hands to him. "Fantastic! Now help me up so we can go back to the house to shower and change!"
By the time we got back to the main house, Francis was among one of the early nap risers who were already awake and playing on the beach. When my boy saw us, he dropped everything he was doing and ran over.
"Mmmmama we'!" he had recoiled slightly after hugging me around the knees and realizing that I was drenched. "Why?"
Elijah and I knelt down in front of him, so that we were all eyelevel. Francis was immediately wary.
"We fell over in the water because we were excited about something." I told him.
"Beebee? Mmmm I bo?"
"No, no babies."
He touched his hands together, one on top of the other. "Mmm...meewee Wisha?"
"No, that's also not it."
Francis actually breathed a sigh of relief and leaned against Elijah for support.
"Wha' noos?"
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "We talked about Elijah hanging out with us more, like sometimes at his house and sometimes at ours, because he cares about us."
Francis clearly understood what that meant because he took a few steps back and began jumping up and down excitedly, his chubby little hands flapping away. He was actually speechless with joy.
"It's only going to happen if it's cool with you, though." Elijah added.
"Way coo'!" My son spread his little arms out for emphasis and then made gestures for us to get to our feet. "Uppie! Uppie!"
Curious, we obliged.
"Wisha!"
"Yes?"
"Mmm...sssssah-mush mmmama? Peas?"
Elijah chuckled. "I can do that."
Two seconds later, he had dipped me and started to give me another brain-melting kiss, but it didn't last long because Francis had let out a high pitched shriek of excitement that startled Elijah so much that he dropped me on the sand. Mom also came running at that particular moment.
"What's the matter?" she then took notice of the state of mine and Elijah's clothes. "And why are you two soaked to the bone?"
"Wisha sssah-mush mmmmama!" Francis gleefully provided and then patted Elijah's leg. "Wisha mama buff-in!"
My poor heart was reduced to a puddle by now and I did everything I could to keep myself together; there would be time for us to get gushy in a few minutes.
By now, Kevin had wandered over with the rest of my siblings in tow.
"Jen, what's going on?" he asked, passing Elliana to her so he could hold Thomas easier. "Did I miss an engagement?"
Mom actually giggled as she took Elliana. "Not quite, but according to Francis, Flora and Elijah just kissed, and Elijah has earned the title of boyfriend."
Instead of going into 'overprotective cop dad' mode like he sometimes does, he lit up with joy just like Francis had, but before Kevin could express his thoughts, Alyssa had crossed the short distance over to us.
Dressed in a pink sundress and with her long blond hair done up in pigtails, Alyssa looked like a little doll, but when she narrowed her laser blue eyes, we knew she meant business. To Elijah's credit, he humored her.
"How you doin', Ladybug?"
"Play nice wit' sissy!" the almost two-year-old informed him.
"I promise I will."
"Give sissy lotsa hugs an' kissies? Hol' han's and...and say 'love you' ever' day?"
"All the time."
"Be good-a my Frankie?"
"Always."
Elijah seemed to pass her interrogation because Alyssa was now grinning and hugging as much of my boyfriend as she could. When she pulled away, she gave him a peck on the cheek in adoration.
"Lijah?"
"Yes, Alyssa?"
She hugged him again. "We'come!"
