LIII.
The Fickle Heart
Mary woke up groggy and confused. She felt sore and her head was pounding beside. She pulled herself to sit upright, noticing how her stomach pulled and it was almost too much for her arms to accomplish. What had happened?
"Miss Read!" A voice exclaimed. "You're awake!" She turned to see a young woman coming towards her. "You've been asleep almost two days, we were all very worried."
Mary wanted to ask her what had happened to Edward, but she saw him stalking towards her, bandaged and shirtless. He looked furious. The woman, who Mary took to be a nurse started to tell him how he couldn't come over here, tried to stop him, but he brushed her aside. Mary didn't think she had ever seen Edward so angry. He was absolutely furious. He slammed his hands down on the bed, making her jump and making her wounds pull.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He snarled. "Have you tired of living? Have you decided you rather be down among the dead with you Daniel? With your James?"
"Edward…I…" She started, but he cut her off.
"I saw you! I saw you give up and drop your sword! I saw you just…just prepare to die! What's wrong with you? Why the hell would you do that?" And he went on, yelling and raving at her and she couldn't think of a word to say in protest or in her own defense. She just sat there, listening as he went on and on until someone came and literally dragged her away. Still, he yelled and raved, trying to break free. Eventually his words died away and the nurse came back.
"Sorry about that" She said softly. "He's been worried about you. You were nearly dead when he got you here"
"He carried me here?" She asked, her eyes widening with surprise.
"Yes and he refused treatment until we had seen to you. He's been waiting for you to wake up" She frowned slightly.
"But his daughter…"
"Has been by to visit as well" She gave a small, sad smile. "She was very unhappy with your condition as well. Miss Kenway is sour with you as well"
Mary leaned back against the pillows with a sigh. "I guess I deserve it"
"If I may, Miss Read, speak freely….You're a hero. You killed the murder. You've saved a great deal of lives"
"I wouldn't have killed him without Edward's help" She reminded the woman.
"You're both heroes then" She smiled brightly as if she had just stated a true fact. Mary sighed and decided to let it go. There was no getting anywhere with this woman. She wanted it to be positive. "You saved my husband and myself, I'm sure."
"Your husband is an Assassin?" She asked.
"We both are, but no doubt I would have been targeted for being female and 'weak'" She let out an amused chuckle. "But you and I know the folly in that thinking"
She stayed a little longer, speaking to Mary and trying to lift her spirits but it was very clear that Mary's spirits did not want to be lifted. She spent a lot of time thinking of what Edward said, circling round and round his words. She felt bad, having given up. Would she have kept fighting if she had known Edward were nearby? Worse she had known that the man planned to go after Edward and Jenny and she had given up on protecting them. She had given up on protecting those she cared about and she was so mad at herself she didn't know what to do. Edward had been right in scolding her, he should have been able to scold her longer.
But, this also gave her a new perspective, just as it had when she thought Edward had been killed those years ago. She thought, as if from his point of view, what it would be like to bury her. She knew he would insist on it, insist on looking out for her that way. She thought, for another moment of the frustration he must have felt because of her. She had refused, for a long time now, to marry him and yet she knew from their conversations and his looks that he still hoped. He still loved her and her him. Wasn't that all that mattered? Wasn't the fact that they loved each other, that they cared for each other and that they only wanted happiness for each other the basis for a good and loving marriage?
She had been married twice now though, both with devastating results on her heart. Could she stand it once more? One more try? Just once more, yes? No?
She thought about it and thought about it some more, her heart capricious. What was she to do? Well, right now she had lots of time and if Edward came back, perhaps she would take it over with him. Perhaps he could help her. Or perhaps he would make it worse.
Mary walked up to Edward's home. She was mostly healed, it had taken two weeks for the Assassins to let her go. Edward had not visited again but she was sure she had her answer but she wanted to talk to him. She had to talk to him. What she did not expect was the door to be thrown open as she left and to see Tessa storming out, looking like she had been crying. She stopped before Mary and pointed a finger at her.
"This is your fault. He shows no interest in anything anymore! You! If you had just stayed in France!" Then she stored away and left Mary awfully confused. She made her way to the door, where Jenny was waiting.
"Don't you have studies to attend to?" She asked her as she got closer.
"Tessa is really mad at Father" She said instead.
"Why?"
"He's been out the last few days." She shrugged. "He's been worried about you. He told me what happened…Miss Read, you need to be careful! You could have been killed!"
Being scolded by a child…She supposed it served her right. She had been foolish and if Jenny could even see that, she supposed if something like that ever happened again, she would have to do some serious re-thinking.
"You're right, Jenny and now I need to talk to your father, its important"
"He's probably at the dock. He likes to go there to think."
"Is that where Tessa was going?"
"She doesn't know that. I do because father told me that was where he was going in case I would need him." She smiled. "What do you need to tell him?"
"…I would rather not say. I need to speak to him first" She told the young girl. "But…hopefully I'll be back another day and I'll tell you, alright?"
"Can't I come with you?"
"You have your studies, Miss Jennifer." She scolded, a smile on her face though "So no, you have to stay here" She groaned and groveled but soon Mary was heading out, letting Jenny to her studies. She felt the girl's eyes on her from the window as she made her way off the land and towards the port. She didn't know exactly what she was going to say yet. She just knew she had to speak of him.
She found him at the dock as promised.
She had to stand there and look at him for a moment and it made her think. He was dressed as a common merchant today, staring out to the sea. His brow was furrowed, almost as if he were thinking hard about something and his face showed a speckling of stubble, a clear indication that he had not shaved. He never liked shaving, she remembered that from when they were at sea together. He thought he looked better with some stubble, though when he was around Tessa, he tended to shave and be well groomed. She swallowed hard, looking at the man she had failed to trust. Yes, that was the whole problem of things, she had failed to truly trust him. Could she change that?
"Edward" She called his name and he didn't acknowledge her so she waited. He stayed turned away from her, staring out to sea as if he wanted to escape. She could understand. She waited, for a long time for him to turn and talk to her, but he didn't.
"If I ignore you, will you stand there all night?" He asked finally, irritation radiating from him.
"If I have to" She answered. He finally turned to her.
"For God's sake, what the hell do you want, Mary?" His tone was so angry, his eyes so bitter that she was struck silent for a moment. She almost lost her nerve but she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin.
"I've…I've come here to ask you to marry me!" He blinked at her, his face losing all the bitterness for a moment and then he frowned.
"Is this a joke?"
"Why would I play a joke like that on you?" She crossed her arms, feeling sour.
"Because, you've said no how many times? You ran away once when I even asked you. You don't want to get married, Mary. I've already accepted that." He sighed "And maybe I don't either"
"I heard Tessa is mad at you"
"Because another man proposed to her and she has not given him an answer yet. I told her to say yes"
"She was being courted by more than one man?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Many woman are. They choose the one they like best or their fathers choose one for them" He sighed and turned away once more. "Anyway, what do you really want, Mary? Are you leaving again? Going back to France?"
"Only if you turn me down"
He half-turned to look at her, his face annoyed. "Oh, so you're serious then?"
"I am!" She snapped at him, losing her temper a little. "I did a lot of thinking, Edward! You were right to scold me! I had been foolish. I nearly died. If I was a cat, I'd be on my last life! How many times over the course of my life have I come to the edge of death? How many times have I let it teach me nothing? I can't make that mistake again. I love you, I have loved you and…I want to be with you Edward. I've learned, I've changed. I swear it"
"Oh have you now?" His voice was disbelieving. She didn't blame him. He turned away again and she couldn't see his face, couldn't see what he thought.
"Please, Edward" She didn't dare step closer to him, not knowing how he'd react. "Please, I know I have gone about this wrong. I know a spurred you but…I thought I rather live with you alive and with someone else rather than me alive and alone, with you dead or gone or…But I don't want either of those. I want to be by your side Edward! I do love you. I want…I want to believe in you and us."
"Would you retire if you married me?" He asked.
"What? No…I mean, maybe. Would…would you want me to?" Now she felt nervous. Could she just give up working with the Assassins? Well, maybe she could give up active duty and help plan missions or something. Look after the sick? She could do something else if that was what he really wanted. If he were her husband, she would have to respect that she supposed. She didn't like the thought of bowing her head to a man…but that was what women did. Women bowed their head to their husbands or fathers.
Edward was silent and she was too. She had no idea what to say. She knew there were other people, looking at the two of them as they passed them on the pier. How odd they must have looked, the two of them. A man looking like nothing more than a common merchant and a woman, her long hair down, her face desperate, wearing trousers like a man. She didn't care what they thought though, it never mattered. No one else had really ever mattered to her, other than her dear friends, other than her dear husbands. Not even her mother's words had mattered after a point because she did not trust the woman. She did not trust many, but she trusted Edward, with her secrets, with her past, and she had thought she had trusted him with her heart but that hadn't been completely true. No, she had still be afraid and wary. Now though, she wanted to trust him. Completely. She knew he wouldn't let her down, she sorely hoped he wouldn't let her down.
But if he did, whose fault was that? Finally she saw his shoulder sag.
"So?" She couldn't help but speak up. "Will you marry me or not?" He glanced back at her and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
"Is that how you were always asked?" He asked, turn to face her completely now.
"What?" She was confused by the question.
"So direct, so…That's now how you're supposed to ask someone to marry you" Was he making fun of her? She couldn't decide. He made an annoyed sound and walked up to her, grabbing her hand and going to one knee. "For one, you're supposed to ask upon bended knee."
"Alright…?" She wasn't sure what game he was playing, but his eyes were still clouded with annoyance. Was he just playing some sort of game with her? Was he being serious?
"And you're supposed to say something…loving" But he rolled his eyes, a smile pulling at the edge of his lips. He worked his face into something serious again. "And then, you're supposed to ask them to marry you."
She didn't know what to say.
"So Mary Read…You're a hell of a woman. I nearly want to quit and say I'd rather live without you, if not for the fact that I know that I can't live without you. I've tried, hell have I tried, but I always seem to come back to you. Despite everything, despite you're annoying tendency to run away from things, despite your brash attitude and the fact that you're still find of trousers, I love you. I can't imagine a life without you" She realized what he was doing and opened her mouth to object. "So shut up and marry me already, woman"
"I already said that I wanted to marry you!" She growled. He jumped to his feet.
"Good, and you're not going to back out?" He asked, his hands lifting slightly as if he were going to grab her.
"No"
"And you're not going to run away?"
"No!"
"And you're not going to do anything else suicidal?"
"For hell's sake! No, Edward!"
"And just so you know, I'm not going to die on you a week after the wedding. I'm going to be here, a long time to take care of you"
"I don't need to be taken care of"
"Well, all the same. I'm going to be here, Mary." His fingers reached for her but she stepped out of the way.
"Promise."
"Promise what?" he frowned sharply at her.
"Promise me you won't die before me"
"That seems a little dramatic, Mary" He reached for her again and this time she allowed him to pull her into his arms. She kept her hands on his chest, glaring up at him, he rolled his blue eyes. "Fine, fine. I promise I won't die before you. Happy?"
"Though I know its not exactly the type of promise you can keep, I'll be happy if you do manage to keep it" She muttered.
"I'll be around Mary, for a long time. I do love you. And if we really are getting married, I believe we have announcements to make, invites to send and an wedding to arrange"
"Did I agree to marry you? I thought we were going to open a bakery" She squirmed until he let her go. He caught her hand and stopped her from walking away.
"Are we really going to get married, Mary? Are you really willing to settle?"
"I've already settled, Edward. I've decided that I might as well take one more leap. Its not like it will be anything different than what we already have, right? Just some official paperwork and a name change. It's not a big deal"
"It is to me." He smiled and she shook her head.
"Yes, the last man to work his way into the great Mary Read's heart."
"I hope so"
"I know so"
"Well then, Mary, if this is really going to happen we better hurry it along before you get cold feet." He began to walk towards the house. He put an arm around her, ignoring the looks that people were giving them. They must have looked quite the odd couple.
"Cold feet? Isn't it usually the man who gets those?"
"Yes, but I have a fiancé who is at high risk to be a runaway bride" He kissed her hair as they walked and laughed. He seemed quite joyful already, not the surly man she had met at the docks. She knew there was a lot to do. A wedding. She couldn't believe it, she had finally agreed to marry him. She wondered if, since she had thought this idea out a little, it would last. She hoped so. She could really use a few years of happiness. She really needed them.
A/N: Alright guys. Probably only three to four chapters, if that, left in this story. Hopefully we can find a happy ending somewhere for Edward and Mary, right? We'll see what happens.
