Chapter Fifty:
In Which Our Hero Celebrates Armistice Day
"Hey, Ash." It was all Ashley could do to keep from pounding her head against the polished counter. How could she have not noticed that the music had stopped? She downed the remainder of her lukewarm beer and focused on not looking at Shepard.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"Go away, sir."
"What?"
"Please go away, sir."
"Ash? Are you okay?" Out of the corner of her eye, Ashley saw Shepard step towards her and she flinched away.
"If you wanted to get rid of me, sir, there are other ways to do it, sir." Ashley still couldn't bring herself to look at him. "I thought you'd at least be nice about it. You're nice to every dirt bag we come across out here—you even wanted to give Sergeant Sterling a chance today—I just thought…." She signaled to the bartender for another drink.
"Look, I found the note in my locker. Hooray, a transfer for breaking the regs against fraternization." Ashley clenched her jaw. "Or were you hoping I'd get kicked out entirely? Either way that's going to look great on the family wall of shame."
"I—" Shepard started to speak.
"With all due respect, I'm not done talking, sir," she cut him off and took a gulp of her beer. "Just tell me one thing; did you pick today special? Wanted to add an extra kick to my Armistice Day celebration?" Ashley finally glanced up at Shepard. She needed to see the expression on his face when he admitted he was just like every other officer in the fleet.
Shepard just looked confused. "What are you talking about, Ashley? A transfer? Armistice Day? What does that have to do with anything? How do you even know it's Armistice Day?"
"Don't feed me that bull, sir. The Williams family always marks the end of the First Contact War. In our family, it's not really a celebration. More like an obligation."
The commander lifted an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.
"Don't even try to tell me you don't know about my family. My commanders always find out. How long have you known? Did Anderson tell you? You know, he didn't seem to care. Or is it in my files? That's probably the easiest way to pass the information along."
"There's almost nothing in your files. Technical scores and a list of crap assignments."
"And you have no idea why I'd get those crap assignments? Fine. Make me say it." Ashley took a breath, reflexively glanced around to make sure no one else could hear her. "I'm General Williams' granddaughter." Shepard continued to feign ignorance. "Commander of the Shanxi garrison in the war? 'The only human ever to surrender to an alien race?' Ring any bells?"
Silence. Ashley glared at the countertop. Her face was burning. After a while, she heard Shepard settle into the seat next to her. "I guess now I know why you drive yourself so hard," he sighed.
"Drive myself so hard? Drive myself so hard?" Ashley ignored the fact that she sounded slightly hysterical. "'A Williams has to be better than the best, if only to avoid suspicion.' That's what my dad told me the night before he retired. He was wrong though! No matter what we do, it's not enough! Dad—he got passed for promotion over and over." The hollow, lonely look her father's eyes had in vidmails had always been a bit deeper every time his new CO had made it clear that a Williams wasn't going to get ahead on his watch. "And I think my record merits more than garrison duty on a backwater agri colony. Clearly, you disagree."
Shepard turned on his stool so he was facing her. "I'm sorry if giving you the gun made you uncomfortable. I—I was just trying to thank you for Pinnacle. I know, I know I waited way too long, and the note was stupid, but I was trying—I mean, I thought—You know what, never mind what I thought.
"Just, tell me what I have to do to convince you that I'm not this…. How could you even think that I'm the kind of person who'd try to get you kicked out of the Alliance by—By pretending that I…." Something in Shepard's voice made Ashley look up; the commander was blushing and shaking his head, determinedly avoiding her eyes in an attempt to hide his hurt. "I'm sorry, Chief Williams. Maybe I should go."
"Wait." The crestfallen expression on Shepard's face made Ashley doubt herself. "Shepard, do you swear to me that you had no idea who my grandfather was, and that that note wasn't just an excuse to get rid of me?"
He fastened his serious blue eyes on her, gaze direct and open. She realized before he spoke that she'd jumped to all the wrong conclusions. "I swear, Ashley."
Ashley squirmed; she hated apologizing. "I owe you an apology, sir," she managed, finally. "Ever since I got assigned to the Normandy, I've been waiting for someone to figure things out and send me back groundside. Even though you've been so—It's just that things never go this good for me for this long."
She sighed. "Look, it takes a special kind of thickhead to march into a job where your family's blacklisted. I did it anyway."
Her apology was rewarded with Shepard's bright smile. The sight of it made Ashley feel better, but part of her didn't believe that she should win his forgiveness that easily. "Are you trying to tell me you're a thickhead, Ash?"
"Is that really your only takeaway point from my entire apology?" Shepard just grinned, until Ashley finally had to smile back at him. "What if I offer to buy you a drink then, Skipper?"
"It's got to be non-alcoholic. I'm on duty again when we get back to the Normandy."
Ashley beckoned the bartender over. "You're always on duty, Shepard," she sighed.
"Ash, I'm sorry about… getting our signals crossed. I should have figured this out about your grandfather myself. And I shouldn't have—it was a stupid way to try and say thank you. I just—I don't know how I can help you."
Ashley frowned. "Look at who I am, Shepard. Do you ever hear me ask for help? It's not that bad things don't happen to me; if you stay with me long enough, maybe I'll tell you about some of them. But I deal with them myself.
"I don't need a shoulder to cry on, a knight to rescue me, or a man to make me happy. This is who I am. I like her," she smiled at Shepard, "and you'd better like her too."
With a disgusted look on his face, the bartender slid Shepard a short glass of ice water. Ashley knocked her bottle against the glass. "To not letting the Williams name go down with Arnold and Quisling. Granddad deserves better than that."
"As I recall, your grandfather refused to sacrifice his men to save face for humanity. You planning to throw yourself on a sword to save face for him?"
"Hot and cold much, Skipper? First you try to thank me for saving your ass—uh, butt, on Pinnacle, and now you ask me if I've got a death wish?"
"Sorry?"
"No you're not. But I appreciate the sentiment. Anyway, even if I did, would it make a difference? Granddad's gone now. Dad's gone too. And who would it impress? I'll never be good enough for the Alliance."
Ashley took a final sip of her beer. "So."
"So," Shepard smiled at her.
"Was that an original poem?"
Shepard turned red. "No."
"Well, before I—It was sort of perf—um. Sorry I took it the wrong way."
"You apologized for that already."
"I know. But I just—Are you really interested in me?" Ashley blurted out. "Baggage and all?"
"Are you serious—" Shepard asked.
Ashley fought the urge to bury her face in her hand.
"—ly asking me about baggage? Everyone comes with baggage, Ash. The trick is finding a matched set."
For some reason, Shepard's answer only intensified Ashley's impulse to hide. "That's awful," she laughed. "Tell me you got that out of a fortune cookie."
"You don't think I could come up with pithy wisdom like that on my—"
"Hey! Kiss! What's taking you so long?" Red's face appeared over Shepard's shoulder.
The commander scowled. "Cool your jets, Red. I think I've almost talked Williams into abandoning her position here."
"Oh, great! I've got that seat saved for you, Ashley. As promised."
"Well, the offer's out there, Williams, so what do you say? I promise that if you give us a chance you won't regret it." Shepard cocked his head to the side and gave Ashley one last smile.
She smiled back at him. "I know I don't seem like the easiest person to convince, but if you want the truth…. I don't think saying no ever even crossed my mind, Skipper."
Author's Note: I've never bought that Ashley was so blase about Armistice Day aboard the Normandy. Anyway, huzzah for Chapter Fifty! I can't believe I've written this much, or that people are still reading this thing! As such, this chapter is gratefully dedicated to all you readers, whether you're just joining us or if you've been subjecting yourself to my writing since we met our reluctant hero in the first chapter. I appreciate it, I really do.
