For jammydodger

My thanks to Sylvain for the beta work

Face to Face

Part 48

Just like that day in Carl's, the day he and the older man had come to blows, Aaron made his mum a cup of tea, heaping in the sugar. He made himself one too and then sat at the table wishing he could be of some real help to his mother, but there wasn't a lot he could do, except be there for her like Jackson had said.

"How am I going to tell Paddy? How do I tell him it could be Carl's baby?"

She'd asked him those questions before, more than once, he still didn't know the answers. "Is there no way of knowing for sure?"

"When it's born, yes, we could have a DNA test done then, but how far off is that? The not knowing will eat at him; I know it will, just like it will eat at me. I know you think Paddy would accept the baby if it is Carl's, but I'm not so sure, it would be a constant reminder of me being with another man."

"Mam, do you... do you love him?" He had to ask, he had to know, although he was dreading her answer, scared it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"But how? I mean, why now and not before?" He was struggling to believe her despite desperately wanting to. "You said that there was no spark, no..."

"It's different this time. He's still the same but I've changed, I've had my eyes opened. I need security, I need dependability, I need good old fashioned love and commitment. I love him, need him because he's all that and more. You said he was the best thing that ever happened to me and you're right, he is, I see that now."

She sounded genuine enough and Aaron found himself believing his mother's words, but still, as long as a certain someone was around, he would always worry. "And Carl?"

"I did love him, and like a fool I trusted him. But there's only so much hurt you can take, only so much you can forgive, and what he did this time has left me... well, hating him, I suppose. It's well and truly over between us this time, I deserve better and, well, I've found it, haven't I?

"Things were going so well between me and Paddy until this, the only sour point... you so against it..."

"I didn't want you hurting him again." Aaron defended himself, he loved them both, but he was closest to Paddy, protective of him, and it hurt to see him unhappy. Jackson had been right; he didn't want to be part of another relationship breakdown, especially between his 'parents'.

"But this baby will. It's going to cause all sort of trouble and heartache..."

"No, no, it doesn't have to..." He didn't like calling the baby 'it', he could already imagine Paddy holding his son or daughter. "He or she would bring you closer..."

"Cement things you mean? If it's Paddy's, then yes, it would, it would be the icing on the cake, but if it's Carl's, it's going to rock the foundations... maybe even bring the walls tumbling down."

He didn't want to believe that, the Paddy he knew would be upset by the possibility, would be hurt, would go through the wringer emotionally, but he wouldn't let Chas down, he'd love her, support her just the same. "No..." Aaron paused, they'd both heard someone in the other room.

Chas leapt to her feet, dabbing at her eyes, at the mascara staining her cheeks, "That's Paddy, I need to do my face, I can't let him see me like this."

"He's not going to care what you look like." Aaron protested, his mother was just delaying things now.

"Well, I do. I need my slap on, I need the confidence it gives me."

Aaron watched his mother hurry from the room, chewing over her last statement as he did so. He'd always thought she wore too much makeup, that she looked like she'd plastered it on with a trowel. Now he was beginning to see why she did that, and why some people called it war paint. It was a mask of sorts, a front to hide behind, and in some cases... it was little more than painted-on courage.

"Aaron!"

Paddy looked more than a little surprised on seeing him. Well he would, he'd not been here in ages, had refused to visit his old home, and when they had met he'd more or less ignored him, had been punishing both him and Chas with a dose of the silent treatment. He felt ashamed about his behavior now, and realising how childish he'd been, all he could get past his lips was a quiet "Paddy."

"It's good to see you. You ok?"

The surprise on the older man's face was soon replaced by a big smile, it helped loosen Aaron's tongue a little, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Jackson?"

"Yeah, he's good."

"Are you here to see your mum? She wasn't feeling so good this morning, she didn't go to work."

"Yeah, I know."

"Is that why you're here? She's alright, isn't she?"

Paddy suddenly looked concerned, his love for Chas evident.

He wasn't going to hide the fact something was wrong, and he certainly wasn't going to lie to Paddy. Still, as much as he wanted the older man made aware of the baby, he knew it wasn't his place to tell him. Like Jackson had said, he should be there for them both, supporting them both, not sticking his oar in. "She's upset more than anything, worried."

"Worried? About what?"

"She'll tell you herself."

"Aaron?"

"Paddy, she has to tell you."

Paddy sank into a chair alongside Aaron, an old fear raising its ugly head. "She's been quiet for a couple of days now, not herself. I've been starting to think..."

"Starting to think what?"

"That she wasn't happy, that she'd realised she didn't want to be with me 'again'."

"It's not that." Aaron insisted, he didn't want Paddy thinking that way, getting any such negative ideas in his head.

"Then, what is it? Have I done something?"

Despite the situation, Aaron wanted to laugh at that question, laugh and say, 'Yeah you've done something alright, you've got my mam pregnant!' It would have been nice to say that, to be able to say that without there being any doubt about Paddy being the father. But he couldn't... he felt a fresh wave of unease hit him. Why did things always have to be so complicated, why couldn't they run smoothly for once?

/

Aaron had left the two of them alone to talk, then made his way over to the bench across the road. His thoughts drifted back to another difficult conversation, the one between him and Jackson. Paddy had left the two of them alone, had sat out here, biding his time, on hand should things turn unpleasant.

He didn't think for one minute that things would turn that way for his mum and Paddy, he expected Paddy to wrap his arms around her and tell her that it would all be ok. That was the sort of thing Paddy would do, that was the sort of man Paddy was.

His ringtone sounded, making him jump. Seeing Jackson's name, he quickly answered the call.

"Hi, everything ok?"

"I think so, I've left them to talk, she's going to tell Paddy about the baby."

"How was she?"

"Not good, but she should have more trust in him, more faith... " He'd suddenly heard voices, raised voices and they were coming from the Smithy. "Jackson, I've got to go, I'll ring you back." Tucking his phone back into his pocket, he got to his feet and stared over at the cottage. He'd heard Paddy shouting but it was quiet again now, what should he do? He didn't know, but then when just seconds later he heard the older man's voice raised in anger again, he broke into a run, making straight for the front door.

The voice got louder with every step he took, so did the thundering of his heart in his chest.

As he burst into the room, the shouting stopped, both sets of eyes turning to him, his mam's were brimming with tears. Paddy's were dark with anger, he'd never seen him like that before, couldn't believe he was seeing him like this now. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Paddy was shaking his head at him now, looking at him with what he thought was a mix of disbelief and anger, his suspicions were quickly confirmed when Paddy then bellowed over at Chas, "And you told him before you told me!"

Aaron could hear the hurt, the indignation in Paddy's voice, and he was right to feel that way. His mum should have gone straight to Paddy with this, but she hadn't trusted him, she'd turned to someone else first, and it didn't matter if it was her son, someone important in both their lives, she shouldn't have told him before Paddy.

But she had and it had obviously done some damage. As much as he wanted to turn around and leave them to sort things out he knew he couldn't, that he was needed here.

TBC