Disclaimer: I do NOT own Supernatural. But, man, if I did? I couldn't top the emotional upheaval that last episode left me in. Dang.
Author's note: HI ALL! So, trigger warnings...suicidal stuff, mental hospitals, then my usual. Ya'll know how jacked my writing is. Prepare for the roller coaster that is this chapter. No apologies. You should be used to me by now. Mwahahaha
November 16
Ryan POV
Sounds alerted her to the fact something was wrong. She heard a steady beep-beep-beep that signified a heart monitor and people talking from far away. Smells were next. She hated hospitals and she would know that God-awful antiseptic smell anywhere. So, with a groan, she opened her eyes.
The bright sun streaming in the window made her shut her eyes immediately and she had to force them open little bit by little bit before she was able to open them fully. Sure enough, she saw the crappy drop in ceiling tile. She turned her eyes, not her head, because it was hurting for some reason, to the left and right and, yep, saw a heart monitor beeping away with her heart.
She wracked her brain and couldn't come up with a reason why she would be here. She remembered Hope's birthday had been the week before; Dean was pissy because Jesse had given their daughter a necklace, which Ryan could admit, if only to herself, that it was the cutest thing ever. She remembered Jon graduated to a toddler bed, even though he'd only turned a year old a few weeks ago. She remembered Halloween, how much fun they'd had, carving pumpkins. It had, of course, turned into a competition between the older Winchesters and the teens, which Ryan had adamantly stayed out of. She'd bought a white pumpkin for herself and had decorated it with gold and black paint instead of carving it. They'd gone on a hay ride with the old truck Sam had just bought and they'd gone trick-or-treating as a family. Even the teens had gone. It had been fun. But anything that had transpired after that was a blur. Had they gone on a hunt? Had she fallen off the rickety stepstool Dean was always worried about? Nothing was coming to the surface.
Just then, a nurse appeared at the door. "Hello, Ryan. How are you this morning?"
She tried to speak, but found her voice rusty and her throat sore. "Water?" she croaked.
The woman nodded and moved over to her, bringing a cup with a straw. Ryan tried to move her hand to accept the cup but found it tied to the bed. She tried the other one and it was the same. When she went to move her feet, she felt the constrictions on them and the panic set it. She started thrashing and the nurse said, "Ryan, stop! You know that won't work. You'll just hurt yourself or pull your staples."
She stopped moving as she realized her arms were on fire, the pain was so strong. Both of them. She glanced down and saw both of them were bandaged, just as they were when she had tried to kill herself as a teen. "No…" she whispered. She glanced at the woman who was looking at her with an expression Ryan couldn't quite read. "What's going on? Where's Dean? I need him!"
"Who?"
"Dean Winchester! My husband!"
"Ryan, I don't know…"
"Tell me!" she demanded. "Tell me where he is! Tell me what is going on!"
"The doctor…"
"No," Ryan demanded coldly. "You. Tell. Me. What. Is. Going. On."
The woman looked ruffled but didn't hesitate to rattle off, "You were admitted ten days ago with deep lacerations on both your arms after you attempted to take your own life. You have been in and out of consciousness since then, going on about monsters and demons and family members that do not exist. Your father had you committed to this facility until such time you are no longer a danger to yourself or others."
Ryan began shaking her head. "No…no! It's not…that was when I was seventeen! Not now!"
Pity. That was the look the woman was giving her. She pitied her. "Your birthday isn't for a few months yet. I'm afraid you're still seventeen."
Ryan started screaming and didn't stop until the woman slipped something into her I.V. then the blessed unconsciousness enveloped her.
She wasn't sure how much time passed, but when she woke, it was dark and a doctor was standing at the foot of her bed, reading her chart. "Ah, good evening, Miss Fawcett."
"Winchester," Ryan growled.
His eyebrow rose as he made a notation in her chart. "Our nurse says you believe you are married?"
"I am married!" she spat.
He nodded. "Alright. Tell me a little bit about yourself."
She ground her teeth. "My name is Ryan Fawcett Winchester. My birthday is April 24, 1979. I have three children; Hope Deanna, Robert Gabriel, and Jonathan Castiel. I am married to Dean Winchester and we live in Lawrence, Kansas. I don't know what is happening, but…" Just then she realized it must be a Djinn. She must be hallucinating. She tried to recall how to get yourself out of a Djinn dream, but that was one creature she actually hadn't come up on before.
"But what?"
She shook her head. "Nothing."
"You should tell me more about this fantasy you have. There may be a key in your delusions to get you out of this."
"I don't NEED to get out of this! I need to wake the fuck up from this nightmare and get back to my life!"
"Miss Fawcett…"
"WINCHESTER!" she shouted.
The doctor sighed. "I will see you in the morning. I'm ordering some medications for you that should help you sleep."
He turned and walked out of the room. She dropped her head back onto the pillow and looked up at the ceiling tiles and sighed.
Days passed and Ryan's hope that someone would save her began to fade as the doctors began talking more and more about her recovery and treatment options. She knew she had lived this…hadn't she? As each day, each hour passed, she began to wonder if maybe she really was living this reality and she had dreamed the other one. After all…angels? Demons? The fact anyone would want to be with her? Why would that be real?
"Alrighty, Miss Ryan!" a chipper voice called as the nurse walked in the room. "You get your restraints taken off today! We're taking the catheter out and going to let you have a shower! Doesn't that sound awesome?!"
It really did, but she wasn't about to give this chipper chickadee the pleasure of knowing that. So, she simply nodded and waited while the woman worked, prattling on about this and that and how she was going to an *NSYNC concert over the weekend and how excited she was to see them. Ryan couldn't…it was driving her mad, all the references to the nineties. She'd lived through them. She wanted to live in her now, not her then now. "Okie-dokie, let's get you to the bathroom."
"I like him. He says 'okie-dokie'," Ryan muttered. She had read that, hadn't she? From the gospels? When Dean and Sam met Charlie for the first time? Wasn't that real?
"What did you say, sugar?" the nurse asked.
Ryan shook her head. "Nothing."
The woman helped her sit up and then slowly walk to the bathroom. Ryan had all the tubes and I.V.'s removed the day before. The woman sat her on the toilet and started the water. "Here is a wash cloth and a bar of soap. I'm going to give you just a bit of privacy, but not much, alright? I'll be right outside the door."
Ryan nodded mutely as she waited for the woman to leave. She stood in a shot, almost falling over due to the lack of use in her legs over the last few days and walked to the sink.
The mirror over it was not glass, but a metal reflective surface. She looked down at the sink, gathered her courage, and looked at herself in the mirror only a second before she screamed. She started screaming and couldn't stop. She was staring back at her seventeen year old self.
Ryan lost track of time. Someone gave her a little medal that stated it had been thirty days since she tried to kill herself. She tried to sharpen it into a shiv and it got taken away from her. Maybe this was a wraith. She needed to find something silver, but so far, she'd had no luck.
At the 45 day mark, she was escorted into a therapist's office. She glanced at the woman who smiled genially at her. "Ryan, so glad you could come."
"Yeah, because I was asked so politely," Ryan stated sullenly.
The woman frowned but put on her reading glasses as she glanced at Ryan's chart. "This says you're healing well…"
Ryan glanced down at the scars that were now forming on her arms. She missed the words of comfort that had been tattooed there for almost twenty years. Carry on, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. But she didn't feel peace. All she felt was depression. If this were a dream, Dean would have saved her by now. This wasn't a nightmare. There was no knight showing up in a black metal steed. This was her fate. Maybe she was psychic. Maybe she had all that stuff to look forward to. But then, why wasn't it making her happy? She wanted all that stuff, but maybe, just maybe, none of it was real. Maybe this was just some kind of sick joke, the fake memories. Maybe it wasn't her happily ever after. Maybe she was stuck in this hell forever.
"So, how are you feeling today?"
"I'm alive."
"That wasn't what I asked," the therapist chastised slightly. "I asked, how are you feeling?"
"Sleepy," Ryan answered honestly. "The meds, they make me tired."
The doctor noted it in her chart. "What do you want?"
To get the hell out of here… "I would like to go back to my Tae Kwon Do and running."
The woman looked at Ryan's file. "Yes, you are quite physically fit, despite everything else."
Ryan gave her a bored look.
The woman cleared her throat. "I will make a notation for you to begin using the treadmill. Walking and exercise help. Exercise releases endorphins…"
"I'm aware," Ryan snipped.
The woman raised her eyebrow but remained quiet.
Moments passed, before, "Tell me about that night in the barn," Ryan pipped up suddenly.
The woman blinked. "Excuse me?"
"You've got my records, right? Tell me. Tell me everything that happened to me in that barn. And after."
"Why?"
Because I need hope. I need to know if Dean ever really existed. But since she couldn't say that, she went for the closest thing to truth she could; "Because I haven't asked and as many fake memories are swirling in my head, I need to know, definitively, just what exactly happened back then."
The woman paled. "Are you certain, Ryan, you wish to relive that?"
Ryan shrugged. "It's just memories, Doc. They can't hurt me now."
The woman took a deep breath and flipped through Ryan's chart. "Here we go. May Twenty-Fifth, 1990. You had just turned eleven the month before, correct?"
Ryan nodded. So far, that was meshing with what she knew.
"You were abducted outside the town's recreational center where your Girl Scout meetings were held."
Again, something Ryan knew. So far, things were on track with her memories.
The therapist cleared her throat. "Do you wish for me to continue?"
Ryan nodded. "Yeah."
"You were held in a barn across town for approximately four hours where you were raped repeatedly by three men before your genitals were mutilated with a knife."
Ryan swallowed hard and nodded. She'd had reconstructive surgery down south. She had been very fortunate more nerves hadn't been severed. A millimeter to one side and she would have had zero sensations.
"You weren't actively bleeding at the time, so officers took you home without realizing the extent of your injuries." Here, the woman paused and Ryan waited. The woman looked up. "Are you sure you wish for me to continue?"
"I'll be honest, Doc, I don't want to relive anything else, but I've got to know. I can't…my memories…"
The woman nodded, cleared her throat again, and said, "You were in shock when you arrived back home. The courts ruled as such and when you turn 18 it will be expunged from your record…"
"Say it, Doc. I need to hear it."
The doctor swallowed hard. "When you arrived home, you murdered your mother with the knife that was also used to mutilate you. When he came to investigate the sound, you also murdered a boy who was around your age."
Ryan's stomach dropped. "What?"
The therapist nodded and consulted the notes again. "Yes. A boy by the name of Dean Winchester."
"What?!"
"Another boy, Samuel Winchester, ran away and hid. He was saved. You passed out and began bleeding as you chased him. You almost died on the operating table."
"B-But Dean…"
The older woman looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry. You murdered him, Ryan. You killed Dean Winchester."
That was the last thing Ryan remembered as she checked out of consciousness yet again.
November 11 (5 days prior)
Andy POV
Shut up, she pled in her head as he prattled on. For the love of God, shut your pie-hole! She tried taking a deep breath like Ryan told her. Fucking yoga can go take a long fucking walk off a short fucking pier 'cuz it doesn't fucking work. He was still talking. Blah, blah, blah.
She couldn't stand it any longer and shouted, "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, SAM! I just wanted to live in the fucking house, not tear it apart! I'm so fucking tired of you and the house and I honest to God wish the damn thing would burn to the ground so we could quit arguing about it!" She blinked and looked at him.
He had his 'sad, hurt, puppy dog' face on again and she closed her eyes as she groaned and rubbed a hand across her face. She tried one more breath. When that didn't work, she yelled, "Do whatever the fuck you want with the fucking wall. Knock it down. Paint it pink and have a picture of Dean wearing a tutu on it, I honestly don't give a shit anymore. I'm out."
"Where are you…?"
"Anywhere but here!" she exclaimed. "Come on, Bobby!" she yelled toward the little boy who was studiously writing his letters in the corner of the war room. "I'm taking you to the park and for some French fries."
"Just running away?" Sam questioned snidely.
Her eyes narrowed as she picked up Bobby's coat and helped him into it. Her voice was lethal as she seethed, "No, I'm walking away before I put a bullet between your eyes because I'm so damn tired of hearing your voice, Sam!" She snatched the little boy's hand and helped him up the steps. She met Dean on his way into the bunker and said, "I think your brother is on the rag. Take care of that shit, will you? Me and Bob need a break from the man."
Dean's eyes widened, but he knew her well enough to leave her alone for now. She already had Bobby's car seat in her and Sam's 2007 Ford 500. It was a decent ride and had a huge fucking trunk. Dean had outfitted the weapon's cache and she'd helped him. It had been fun. Not much in her life was fun anymore.
After she tore ass out of the bunker, Bobby asked softly, "Are you and Unca Sam having issues?"
She smiled despite herself. "Issues" had been one of Bobby's new words and it could mean anything. It was adorable and so was he. She could hear the tears in her voice as she told him, "Yeah, bud, we're having issues."
"You cans work it out," he stated with a head bob. "I knows it."
"Wish I had that much faith," she commented under her breath. Another attempt at a calming breath later, she asked,"Wanna go eat or to the park first?"
"Park!" he shouted and she turned toward Memorial Park, which, for some reason, he called 'Manly Park'. She didn't ask, she just went with it. When they got there, a crowd of kids were there from the local Boy's and Girl's club. "I guess kids got out early today?"
Bobby nodded as he unbuckled and climbed into the front seat. "Uh-huh. All the kids gots outs early. Hopey was gonna go to the diner wif Kwissy and the boys are going to the bunker."
"Good thing we got outta there then, huh?"
Bobby grinned before his face fell. "I's be glad when Jon is big enuffs to pway wif."
She nodded as she opened the door and let him scamper out behind her. "Me too, bud. You'll love that."
"It's gonna be wots of fun!"
She bent down and kissed him right on his freckled nose. "Go on, go play. I'll sit on the bench and watch you, okay? Remember, no powers, right?"
"Okay, Aunt Mommy!"
She shook her head as she walked over to the bench. She wasn't sure where the 'Aunt Mommy' business was coming from, but it wasn't bothering her. She liked it. She sat on a bench enjoying the wintry sunlight a moment and loved hearing his peals of laughter as he climbed up the rock wall and slid down the slide.
"Is this seat taken?" she heard a tired voice ask.
She opened her eyes to find a young mother pushing a stroller along with a little one about Bobby's age, pulling her arm, begging to go play.
Andy smiled and shook her head. "Feel free."
The young woman sat down and blew out a breath. "He finally went to sleep," she commented of the baby in the stroller.
Andy peeked inside to see a tiny little bundle, sleeping peacefully. "Bless you," Andy murmured.
"Which one is yours?"
Andy pointed to Bobby's lime green and navy jacket. "That one. He's my nephew."
"Oh, I remember bringing my nieces to the park. Good practice for the future."
Andy nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Unless you don't want kids!" the woman spoke quickly. "I get chastised because some people don't want them. I mean, you don't have to have kids and…"
Andy put a hand on the woman's arm. "I get it. It's okay. And, yeah, I do. Sooner rather than later, maybe, it's just tough. We're arguing now and ugh…" she trailed off and sighed.
"Oh, I know all about that. We fight more than we don't, but at the core of it, we love each other. And love is what makes it work. You can be spitting mad and then, just when you think you want to give up, you look at them and realize, you don't want to give them up, you can't imagine your life without them. You need them in your life more than you need air in your lungs."
Andy smiled. "Then there's hope, huh?"
The woman nodded. "Yeah. It is." Just then, the baby woke crying, loudly. "Sorry!" the woman cried as she picked the baby up and started trying to shush him, looking pretty darn near tears, herself.
The noise of the crying baby attracted Bobby, who walked over with the woman's older son. "Is you baby okay?" Bobby asked.
"Yes, he's just colicky."
Bobby's head tilted to the side and he reached out a hand to squeeze the baby's hand. Immediately the baby stopped crying and looked at him with a smile. Bobby returned it. "He is a nice baby," Bobby commented before he ran back off.
Andy blinked. She'd just seen the kid heal that baby of something, she was sure of it. Just then, she heard, "Aunt Mommy! I wants to go over dere to the odder slide!"
Andy stood, wished the woman luck with the baby, and followed Bobby to a different area of the park. "Did you heal that baby, Gabriel?"
The little boy nodded as he swung his hand in Andy's. "Yep! He's was sick and his mommy didn't even knows it. So I makeded him betters."
Andy stopped him and knelt down in his face. "You're awesome, you know that, Bobby?"
The boy grinned. "I know."
She rolled her eyes. "And you have your father's modesty, obviously."
"When you're goods, you're goods, Aunt Mommy."
She laughed as she sat on a new bench. "You're a little stinker. I love you, you know that?"
"Luffs ya!" he shouted as he ran off to the other piece of playground equipment.
That's where she was an hour later, when Dean showed up.
"Figured I'd find you here," he said as he plopped his ass down next to her.
"Did he send you?" she asked on a sigh.
He looked offended. "Noooooo, hell no, Doc. I decided to butt in."
She loved Dean, more than she wanted to admit, the meddlesome brother-like creature that he was…"Naturally," she deadpanned.
He sighed. "Look, this shit between the two of you is just that. Shit."
She couldn't argue with him. She knew he was right. So why couldn't they stop arguing? "Dean, I'm so damn tired of the fighting. I mean, he could say the sky is blue and I'd argue it was red. If I said the sun was hot, he'd adamantly refuse and say it was made of ice. I just…" she felt the tears stinging her eyes. "Fuck."
He wrapped his arm around her and held her a few moments as she tried to compose herself. When she sniffed and pulled away, he said, "Come on, Doc, I just…I know it's tough, okay? I mean, I've lived with the guy his whole damn life with the exception of three times, a total of six years. That's…that's guano. I know the guy. He's not trying to be a dick…"
"Coulda fooled me," she murmured.
Dean shot her a thin-lipped look. "I'm just saying, the two of you have got to do this whole talking thing a bit better than you are."
"And then what? Do you think that will actually work? Talking?"
He shrugged. "Can't hurt."
She sighed. "You know me. I don't do the touchy-feely shit like he and Ryan do. I mean, I'm a girl, yeah, but I just…don't have that particular gene."
"You may have to just give it a shot. I know I did. And it works, hate to admit it, but it does."
She let out another sigh. "I don't know…maybe."
He nudged her and smiled. "Well, I've got some good news."
"What?"
"This case? You and Ryan are taking it."
She shot him an incredulous look. "You're shitting me."
He shook his head. "I think you two need a break from us. Go on, get out there, kill something, then come back, make up with Sam…"
Her brow furrowed. "You want me to leave…now?"
"You and Ryan are leaving in a few hours, yeah. I have Sam doing paperwork at the bunker. Go home, pack everything you need, go to our house."
She stood. "Dean…thanks, I…" she looked over at Bobby. "What about the kid?"
Dean smiled and stood. "Yo, Bob! Wanna go get lunch with Daddy?"
The little boy ran over. "Wif jus you, Daddy?"
Dean nodded. "Just me."
"Yay!" He looked at Andy. "Sorry, Aunt-Mommy. Cans we gets a raincheck?"
She chuckled and knelt down to his level. "Sure, Bobby. Raincheck it is."
"Awesome!" he crowed as he grabbed Dean's hand. "Come on, Daddy! We can go eat now!"
Dean smiled and hoisted the kid onto his shoulders. "Let's go get the car seat from Aunt Andy's car. You mind chilling out with me and everyone else while Mommy and Aunt Andy go on a hunt?"
The boy pretended to think a minute. "Cans we eat chocolate cake while Mommy is gone?"
Dean pondered over that. "I don't know…"
"Pwease?!"
Dean chuckled. "Sure. I guess so. But not near bedtime. During the middle of the day when you can run off that sugar high."
"YAY!"
Andy walked with them to her car and grabbed the boy's booster seat out of the car. She walked it over to the Impala and slipped it into the back seat. "Thank you, Dean. For the hunt, and for letting Ryan go with me."
He shrugged. "Well, she needs to get out of the house, too, and you sure as hell don't need to take Sam with you. The way you two are going at it, I can't be sure one of you wouldn't feed the other to the monster…"
She took a deep breath. "You really think we're going to figure this out? Seriously?"
He looked at her a moment before he nodded. "If I hadn't lived through these arguments, I'd say no, but I know you and I know him and I know how this goes. You'll work through it. Eventually. Right now? You two did everything at warp speed. Stands to reason you'd argue at it, too."
"I just hope we don't end up burning out before we hit a steady flame," she commented as she looked down at her boots.
He grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at him. "I already told you it will. You gotta believe me."
"Why, Dean? What makes you so sure?"
"Because those dickbag angels fuck up a lot, but putting you and Sam together? One of the best damn decisions they ever made."
She smiled at that. "Thanks, Dean. Really."
"Don't go getting juicy on me now, Doc," he warned teasingly.
Her smile grew. "Fine then, asshole." She held out a hand. "I'll look after your wife if you look after my man. Deal?"
He nodded and shook her hand. "Deal."
It took her no time at all to pack and she was back over at Dean and Ryan's before Ryan had even finished getting her gear together. "Come on, Ryan, I didn't know you were such a girl about stuff!" she exclaimed as she flopped onto the bed amid a bunch of clothes.
"I had shit to do for the monsters before I could do any of this," Ryan growled from the closet. She walked out carrying her FBI power suit. "Ugh. It's almost not worth going on a hunt."
Andy grinned. "You say that shit now. About the time we're neck deep in bodies, you'll be singing a different tune."
Ryan shot her a look. "The evidence says there's only one, Andy, not a passel of them."
"A passel? You're reverting to redneck speak. What does that mean?"
Ryan grinned. "Fuck you. And it's trailer trash, not redneck. Learn the difference."
Andy laughed out loud. "God, I'm so glad we're doing this."
"Me too." Ryan folded a few items into her bag and glanced over at her. "You okay?"
"Dean talk to you?"
She shook her head. "Sam did."
"Hell, Ryan…I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"
Ryan nodded. "I know. And I understand. I just…I've been there. Loving a Winchester? Toughest job on the planet. I want to kill him as much as I want to fuck him senseless. Just…if you need an ear, seriously, I'm here for you."
"Sometimes I think you take Sam's side more than you take mine," Andy pouted. She knew it sounded childish, but she couldn't quite help it.
Ryan shrugged. "Sometimes he's right, Andy. But then I realize however much you may be like Dean, I'm like Sam. And that's okay, too. Dean says the two of you 'get' each other. Well, so do Sam and I. I can see his side of it, but I can also see yours. I don't want to take sides in this thing. And I refuse to. I'm objective, alright? So you say you need to talk? I'm not going to run to Sam like some damn snitch, okay? What you say? It stays between me and you. I swear it."
Andy swallowed hard. She hadn't realized that was what she needed to hear. In this one instance, she knew why it was better to have a girlfriend than Dean. Ryan might have her faults, but she wouldn't involve Sam if he didn't need to be in it. Dean would. Dean would try to fix it. Ryan would just listen and be a shoulder. "Thanks, Ryan. Seriously."
Ryan nodded as she hoisted her bag. "Okay. Enough emoting, as Dean would say. Let's burn rubber and go kill us a monster!"
"Whoohoo!" Andy shouted as she jumped from the bed. "Let's hit it."
It was a djinn. And they ganked it spectacularly. She loved working with Ryan. The two of them made one hell of a team. The whole car ride to the west coast was full of giggles and singing along with every song that came on the radio. In those times, they weren't wives, they didn't have a life besides the open road and the weapons in the trunk, and it had been the vacation both of them needed. Researching the case, figuring out the mystery, and killing monsters was always relaxing to her.
There were times Andy missed hunting demons, though. The demons were always wiley and tried to fuck with your head. Andy loved that because she liked to think she was pretty damn smart. But hunting monsters? That was brute force. And sometimes you just needed to get the shit beaten out of you and beat the shit out of something to feel better. And right now, as Ryan bound her broken rib, she felt like she owned the fucking world. "What a rush!" Andy crowed.
Ryan chuckled and then winced. The djinn had battered them both around. Andy had a broken rib, but Ryan had a broken face. Well, not really, but she did have a few cuts and scrapes and more than a few bruises forming. Her lip was split and while her eye wasn't swollen shut, it definitely would be black by morning. And she had a cut on her cheek that had bled like nobody's business. "Well, we lived." She finished wrapping Andy's chest and went to look at the mirror. "Shit. Dean is going to kill me."
"Hey, it'll heal. Or, we can have Hope fix you up. No biggie."
Ryan poked at her lip, causing it to seep a bit more blood. "Maybe we can get to her before he sees us."
"Now THAT sounds like something I would do." Andy nodded and fell back onto the bed, wheezing out a breath as pain lanced through her. "I say we do that."
Ryan chortled under her breath. "You want take out?"
"Not Chinese. Think anywhere with burgers or subs will deliver?"
Ryan looked at the meager list of places that delivered in the phone book and curled her nose. "How 'bout I go get us something? A sub sounds awesome."
"I know, right? Piled high with meat…"
"After that hunt and the high you're riding, that's not the meat you want," Ryan stated.
Andy shot her a grin. "You are not wrong, my friend. I'm so damn horny I could probably fuck a goat."
Ryan's nose curled. "I so didn't need to hear that."
Andy laughed so hard she wheezed out a breath as the pain sliced her again. She hated breaking ribs because nothing really made them feel better.
Ryan chuckled then grimaced. "Didn't mean to make you laugh."
"I'll live."
"Alright. I'll go get food and bring it back. But only because I love you."
"You, my dear best friend, are what dreams are made of."
Ryan smacked her leg as she reached next to the bed for her purse. "Don't tell me you're so horny after the hunt, you'd settle for sex with me, Andy."
"I don't know, you're pretty hot with a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood in your hand."
"Flattery will not get you into my pants, Winchester."
Andy winked at her. "Wrong Winchester, huh?"
"Wrong sex, too, babe."
"Damn. Well, maybe I'll call Sam, get a little phone sex while you're gone…"
"I'll make sure to knock first, just in case."
"Good deal." Ryan stood there a moment. "What?" Andy wanted to know.
"Have you talked to him? I mean, I've left you alone for the past few days about it while we hunted the damn thing, but we killed it, and now we're going home and I just…"
Andy cleared her throat. "We've been texting."
"And?"
"And I'm going to call him now."
"Swear?"
Andy rolled her eyes. "I swear, 'Mom', I will call him."
"Good. I'll be back."
"How do you know what I want on my sub?"
Ryan shot her a pointed look. "I've known you for more years than both my boys have been alive, Andy. I know what you want on your damn sub."
Andy watched her walk to the door and she called out, "I love you, Ryan!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too," Ryan stated before she closed the door behind her.
Andy chuckled but then sighed as she looked at the innocent seeming phone on the bedside table. She really did need to call Sam. She'd bet money Ryan was calling Dean to check in on him. She reached over, muttering a curse at the pain in her side, and punched Sam's number.
He picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"
"Hey, babe."
"Andy. Thank God. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Sam. We killed it. Ryan's gone for dinner. I'm chilling out here at the motel room."
"But you're not hurt?"
She hesitated only a second before she said, "Not really. He went down swinging, but we're both fine. I promise."
"You swear it? I could have killed Dean for letting you two go out…"
"Why? Because we're women?" she began defensively.
"What? Of course not! You two are two of the best hunters I know! No, I…I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you and the last thing we did was argue, Andrea."
She closed her eyes. She loved to hear him say her given name. Usually it was in the heat of passion, breathed out on a moan of pleasure, and she swallowed hard as she remembered the last time they'd had sex, the morning before the fight, before she left. "I'm sorry, Sam. I just…I know you want to do renovations to the house and I just…I can't handle it. I don't want to think about it. I really don't mind, though. Just, don't ask me to make decisions. I know it is my house, too, but the only thing I want is a sunroom on the back. Do that for me? The rest is golden. I don't care if you take it down to the foundation and build it back up, just don't ask me to make decisions. I don't care if the doorknobs are antique brass or silver. I don't care if the faucets have a single knob or one for each side. I don't care if the cabinets are white or whitewashed or mahogany. Don't make me make those decisions. I'm not interested in them. If you bring me something and say you want to do it and I really hate it, I'll tell you. Otherwise, just let it go and make all the decisions. Seriously."
He blew out a breath on the other end of the line. "I want it to be our house with joint decisions. Dean and Ryan…"
"Dean and Ryan aren't us," she reminded him. "They picked out paint colors and shit because Dean decided to be domestic and homey and he never had a house to call his own and he never had a stable environment. Ryan didn't either, until she had kids, then she had an idea of what she wanted and they had to work through that. Sam, I grew up in a real house with a real, while fucked up, family. I had all that shit and you didn't. So you have always dreamed of having a red kitchen because you once stayed somewhere and it's attached to a good memory? More power to you. Paint the kitchen red. You want a fireplace in the bedroom because you want to be able to cuddle with a roaring fire? It sounds kind of gay, but I'm game. I do not care about shit like that. You do. So…do it, babe. I'm not saying I don't care because I don't care. I'm saying I don't care because I know you do and I know whatever you choose will be awesome."
"You mean that, don't you?"
"You know I do. Now, you start throwing words around like 'mustard' or 'chartreuse' and we'll have to talk because I hate those two colors, but everything else? Gravy, babe."
He was quite a moment before he asked, "What the hell color is 'chartreuse'?"
She laughed out loud, not giving a fuck about how much her side hurt. "It's a color halfway between yellow and green. It's butt ugly. Looks like sick grass to me."
He laughed as well. "So noted." They were both silent a moment before he said, "Hey, I love you."
"God, I love you, too, Sam. So fucking much."
"You said Ryan left out for a few minutes?"
The corner of her lip rose. "Yeah, I did."
"You wanna fool around?"
"I never turn down phone sex," she told him.
"Me either."
"You somewhere alone?"
"I'm at home on our huge bed, Andrea."
She huffed out a breath as desire flashed through her. "Is that so?"
"Yeah."
"And just how clothed are you right now, Samuel?"
"At the moment? Just in my boxer briefs."
She smirked. "You were pretty damn sure you were getting lucky, huh?"
"Just wishful thinking, baby," he purred and she was gone. All that man had to do was call her 'baby' and she would do anything for him. And he knew it.
After she hung up with Sam, feeling more relaxed than she had in forever it seemed, or at least for the last week, she cleaned herself up, moving around like an old woman now that the oxytocin had left her brain, and slid into some clean clothes. A glance at the clock told her Ryan should have been back by now. She quickly dialed her friend's number. When she heard the line open up, she said, "Look, I didn't really mean you had to sit out there and wait for me to finish, although I appreciate it like you can't begin to imagine." When Ryan didn't answer, she said, "Hello?" She heard deep breathing on the other end. "Ryan?"
Her blood ran cold as Ryan screamed, "ANDY!" and the line went dead.
Andy stared at the phone a moment before she quickly burst into action, throwing her boots on and dialing Sam simultaneously.
"Hey, kitten, you need more?" he asked in way of answering.
"No. Something happened. Someone, something took Ryan!"
"What?! Andy, are you sure?"
"I…yeah, I think so. Can you…"
"Triangulate her number? Yeah, give me two seconds to get downstairs to the laptop…" she heard his footsteps running down the hall, down the wooden stairs, across the linoleum to the kitchen table. "Okay, give me a couple of minutes…"
"Hurry," Andy demanded as she slid her gun in its holster, gathered her spare clips and knife, then glancing at the silver knife sitting on the dinette table. Ryan had brought it in and cleaned it while Andy showered. She picked it up. The lamb's blood was in the trunk of the car. "I don't know what it could be," she said as she walked to the door. "We killed the djinn…"
"Were there two of them?"
"I…"
"Andy!"
"I don't know! Maybe? The evidence suggested one, but if they were a team or a couple or something…"
"Male or female?"
"Huh?"
"Andy, calm down. Was it a male or female djinn you killed?"
"Male."
She could all but hear him nod. "Okay, so, if it was male, this one could be its mate. The only time Dean and I killed a team, it was mother and son. I doubt the males would hang out in a pack, but I could be wrong. I hunted some before, one was after Dean, and it was a family. But that was during Eve's rein and…" he trailed off. "Okay, I got her. She's across town from you. You're at the Sleepy Bear Inn, right?"
"Yeah. Shit. I don't have a car. And the lamb's blood is in the fucking trunk!"
"Hang on. All the cars are equipped with low-jack, even Ryan's Falcon. Give me a few seconds…" she heard his fingers flying over the keyboard before he said, "It's parked outside a sub shop two blocks from you."
"Good. I'll jog over there…"
He let out a snort. "You're…jogging?"
"Ha, fucking ha, Sam. Yes, Two blocks? No use hotwiring a car to get me to her car, which is what I'll drive to kill this son of a bitch."
He was silent as she ran and by the time she arrived at the car, her side was killing her and she was more than a little winded.
"Think you and Dean need to start joining us on our morning runs?" he asked sarcastically.
"No, I just need to lay off the booze. And no commentary. Got it?"
"Wouldn't dream of picking a fight at the moment. You need to focus on Ryan. I'm not telling Dean, yet. I don't need my ass in a sling."
"Good move. I'll call you and I'll call him after. I swear."
"Andrea…"
"It'll be okay, Sam. Love you."
"Love you, too. Be careful."
"I will."
She felt under the wheel well for the extra key she knew was there and grabbed the key for the trunk. She opened it and dipped the knife in the jar of blood before she dashed to the driver's side, plugged the address Sam had given her into her phone's GPS and tore ass out of the parking lot.
She made it to the abandoned warehouse quickly enough and tried to slow her heartbeat as she stood from the car, taking care to put on gloves and grab a scarf. The less skin the djinn had the chance to touch, the better her chances were of making it out of there alive. If the creature got her down, touched her face and lit up those tacky-ass blue tattoos, she was a goner.
She stealthily slipped into the building and looked around. She saw Ryan tied to a steel girder and she clenched her teeth in anger at the beast that stole her friend away. She stopped and listened. Sure enough, a younger woman walked over to Ryan. "My, my, my, I've never seen anyone as susceptible to the nightmares before. Impressive. You're too much fun, Ryan. Too, too much fun. I almost hate to kill you."
"You're not," Andy stated gravely as she walked from her hiding place.
"Ah, yes, the other one. You were the ones that killed my mate!"
Andy shrugged. "And I care, why? You're killing people."
"So we can live!"
Again, Andy shrugged. "I don't really give a shit. You kill people? You're a monster. I kill monsters. I'm a hero."
The woman's eyes flared in anger and she attacked.
It was evident that while the chick was strong, if only because she was a monster, she was not well versed in fighting her food. Clearly the male she had been who did the heavy lifting. Andy got the creature backed into the wall and they fought for the knife, but Andy, though smaller than the woman by at least six inches and twenty pounds, was stronger, thanks to her workout ethics, even if she wasn't a runner, and she managed to stab the creature in the neck. She shrieked as Andy removed the blade and jammed it into the woman's heart, killing her.
Andy stumbled away as the pain in her ribs intensified. "Ryan!" she shouted as she managed to make it to her friend and get the ropes sliced off her. Ryan's dead weight landed on her and with an "Oof!" she lowered Ryan to the floor.
"Ryan! Come on!" she shouted as she started shaking her. That was when she noticed the blue handprint on Ryan's arm. Charlie and Dean had told her once about the djinn that attacked Charlie and she remembered it took a dose of African Dream Root and Dean jumping into her dream to snap her out of it.
"Shit," she muttered under her breath as she checked Ryan over for other injuries before she ran back out to the car. Dean had managed to procure some of the herb not long ago, just in case of issues like this. She dialed Sam's number as she ran. "Sam!" she shouted when he answered.
"Is she…"
"She's alive and the djinn is dead, but she's under its effects still. I've gotta do that Dream Root shit. How do I mix it?"
"Okay, you've got all the stuff in the trunk?"
"Yeah," she stated as she lifted the lid. She found the herbs in a jar. "I got the stuff. Now what?"
"Grab the mortar and pestle and the baggies of other herbs next to it along with the propane tank, pot, mug, and the stove eye attachment. Take it, the jar, and some of your holy water back with you to check on her."
"Okay." She grabbed up her gear, dumped it into an empty duffle and ran back into the building. Her side was killing her but she didn't have time for that shit now. "Now what?" she panted as she fell to her knees next to Ryan.
"Dump the water into the pot and boil it. Grab one of the baggies and dump the other stuff except the packet of sugar together in a cup. Snag some of Ryan's DNA…"
"DNA?"
"Hair, fingernail, blood, boogers, spit, whatever…"
"Okay, that's nasty," she commented.
"Is the water boiling yet?"
"Not quite," she commented as she bent over Ryan. She plucked one of Ryan's hairs and said, "Got the DNA. Now what?"
"Once the water boils, pour it into the stuff in the cup. Stir it up, add in some of the sugar from one of the packets. Let it steep for two minutes. After that, drop in the DNA."
She kept a close eye on her watch as Sam prattled off instructions for once she fell into the dream. When two minutes hit, she interrupted him. "Done."
"Okay, drop in the hair and drink it. Lay down as soon as possible because it happens almost instantaneously. Be aware, though, we don't know what she's dreaming, Andy. I don't know what hell you'll find in her head. Be careful, okay? I'm going to stay on the line and as soon as you wake up, you call to me. Got it?"
"Y-Yeah, babe. I got it."
"It's okay. You can do this."
She swallowed hard, sat the phone down, picked the cup up, added the hair and downed the drink. "Ugh. Ryan, I love ya but you taste like shit," she commented seconds before she felt herself slump forward onto Ryan's body.
She blinked awake and looked around. She was sitting at a desk. A glance down at herself showed a nurse's scrubs. She looked around the room and stood quickly, swaying slightly at the sensation. When she had her sea legs, she walked out of the room and realized she was in a hospital. But not just any hospital, the psych ward.
"Oh, Ryan…" she commented. She hurried over to the nurse's station and began rummaging around. The place was full of people, but none of them seemed to notice her as she kept looking for her friend's file. She found it and gasped. She was trapped in Ryan's recovery from her suicide attempt, when she was just seventeen. "Fuck, Ryan, why this one?"
She didn't dwell on reading the report; it wasn't her place to, and quickly found Ryan's room number. She dashed down the hall and raced to Ryan's room…to find it empty. An orderly was cleaning it. "Where is she?"
"Who?"
"The patient!"
He blinked. "Uh…she should be in the common room. Most of the patients go there if they're behaving. She seems to be better since they dosed her. She was stark raving mad about how she was an adult, she was married…" he shook his head. "Battier than a belfry, I tell ya."
She clenched her jaw and had to fight not to deck the asshat. "Thanks," she ground out as she hurried back out of the room. She dashed down the hall and there…she found her.
She was huddled in a huge arm chair, legs up, resting her chin on her knees, toying with something in her hand. "Ryan?"
It was Ryan, but it wasn't. She was a teenager. "Yeah? Time for my medicine?"
"N-No. It's me. Andy."
Ryan looked at her blankly. "Andy?"
"Andrea Blackwell Winchester."
The girl (because she was definitely still a girl) just looked at her. "Oh. I see."
"What?" Andy asked as she sat on the coffee table in front of her.
Ryan toyed with the cross that was in her hand. It was a rosary, a broken one, but a rosary, all the same. Andy's brows furrowed. Ryan wasn't Catholic. Her family had been Baptist. "You're one of those…one of my hallucinations."
"Do you have a lot of those?"
She shook her head. "No. I don't think so. But they say I do. They say I'm only seventeen. They said the whole life I lived was a dream. I didn't do all those things. Monsters aren't real. And neither is Dean." She gasped. "I killed him. I killed Dean. It wasn't a demon. It was me. And I killed him!"
"Ryan, Ryan!"
But Ryan was already wailing.
"It wasn't a dream! It was real!" Andy shouted as two orderlies started walking over. "Ryan! Snap out of it! It was real! Dean needs you! He's real!" She felt herself being restrained as the orderly shot something into Ryan's arm. "No! Listen to me! Fight them! Fight it!"
"How did you get out and get nurse's clothes?!" One of the orderlies shouted at her. "Damn it, Earl, give me one of those shots! She's a feisty little bitch!"
She tried to fight, but the guy had her in a hold she couldn't get out of. "No! Let me go! This is a dream! This isn't real!" She felt the needle pinch her skin only moments before she gasped awake in the warehouse.
"Andy!" she heard Sam's tinny voice from her phone. "Andy!"
She picked up the phone with shaky hands as she looked over at Ryan. It didn't work. "Sam? Sam, it didn't work! She wouldn't wake up! What am I going to do?!"
Dean POV
It was almost bedtime and Dean was tired. He needed to do more shit for Ryan. She put up with the monsters, the dog, the teens, him, she needed a fucking vacation, not a damn hunt. Maybe he could talk Sam and Andy into watching the kids while he took her for a long weekend. That would be nice. A big ass bed, just the two of them, room service…it could work.
"Daddy!" he heard the cry from upstairs where Bobby was putting on his pajamas. Lately he'd become an independent little shit, so Dean was letting him get dressed. He sighed and hoisted Jon onto his hip. It was time for him to go to bed, too. "Come on, let's see what brother is up to."
"Bah-bah!" the baby exclaimed. He was starting to say a few words now. They didn't often sound like anything, but he was trying.
Dean nodded. "Yep. Bobby needs us. Let's go!" he shouted as he ran up the stairs.
The baby giggled and shouted, "Go!"
They made it up the stairs and Dean glanced down at his other son, who was currently crying and holding his precious, his blue monkey as if the thing was dead. Dean deposited Jon on the floor and walked over to Bobby. "What's up?"
"He's gots a hole!" Bobby shouted. "Mama! I needs Mama to fixes him!"
Dean glanced at the hole in the sock monkey. "Dude, I can do this."
The tears dried up instantaneously. "You cans?"
Dean nodded. "I stitched up myself and Uncle Sammy more times than I can count. Come on. Let's go to my bedroom and we'll get Mama's sewing kit."
"Rewwy?"
Dean nodded. "Really. Let's go. Come on, Jon."
The littlest boy toddled after them as they walked to the other bedroom. Dean made sure the gate at the top of the stairs was latched before he opened their bedroom door. He walked over to Ryan's side of the bed and looked in her bottom nightstand drawer where her sewing kit was. She wasn't a seamstress, by any means. Neither was he, but his wife could sew a button on with a speed that amazed him, and he'd seen her stitch Blue more times than he could count. Not because he couldn't count high, but because the little boy was rough on the damn stuffy.
Bobby helped Jon climb onto the bed before he quickly scampered up. "Alright, give me the patient," Dean told him.
Bobby handed over the monkey somewhat reluctantly and Dean looked at the hole. It was a simple enough one. "Alright. We got this." Dean made quick work of threading the needle, tying off the end, and quickly stitching up the hole. He handed the monkey back to Bobby, who eyed it carefully before he beamed a thousand watt smile and jumped into Dean's arms. "Fanks, Daddy! You's a hero! You saveded Blue and mades me happy!"
Dean smiled as he hugged the boy and took a deep breath. The kid always smelled like cookies and dirt, no matter what time of day. He closed his eyes a moment and reveled in the kid being his arms before he said, "Alright, dudes, bedtime, okay?"
Bobby jumped off the bed and ran back to his room. Dean smiled, grabbed Jon from the bed where he was currently chewing on Ryan's pillow, and carried him back to the boys' room.
After saying prayers, because, yeah, they did that, and kissing and hugging each boy a billion times, and reading the damn iguana book twice, he shut their door and walked back downstairs for a beer. He was just flipping on the TV when his phone rang. He had talked to Ryan earlier; she's said she was going to grab them something for dinner, but now, he figured she had gotten the food, ate, and was calling to tell him goodnight. He was hoping to see her the next day. He missed her like crazy. "Hey, babe. You two calling it a night?"
"Dean?!"
"Andy?!" he shouted. "What's wrong?"
"It's…God, I'm so sorry…"
Dread filled his stomach as his enchiladas threatened to come back up. "Andy, what happened?!"
"She's alive, but she got taken by a second djinn when she went out for the food. We didn't know they were mated. She took her and she dosed her and I tried to wake her and I did the Dream Root shit and she still won't wake up!"
"What?!"
"She's trapped in a nightmare, Dean! I can't get her to wake up! I went into her dream and she wouldn't believe me! She thinks she's there!"
Dean had jumped up sometime and he walked to the door just as Sam walked in it. "Dean…"
He held up a hand. "Andy, what…I can't…you two are in fucking San Diego! What…"
"Dad," Hope called from the steps. She had been upstairs in her room. "I can take you."
"You can fly?!"
She winced. "Uh…surprise?"
"You're not supposed to know how to fly yet! Gabriel said it was your fourteenth birthday!"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It's just…let me, okay? I can get you there."
Dean glanced at Sam, who nodded. "Go. I got the boys."
Dean swallowed hard. "I'm coming, Andy. Hang on, okay? Keep her safe."
"I will, Dean, I swear."
He put the phone in his pocket and glanced at his daughter. "You'd better be right, Hope."
She nodded. "I can do this, Daddy. I swear."
He sucked in a breath, nodded, and closed his eyes. He felt the sensation and the breath whooshed out of him only a moment before he felt Hope stumble next to him. He opened his eyes and looked at her. Blood was gushing out of her nose at a rate that would have worried him had she been only human. "Hope?"
"I'm fine!" she shouted. "Save Mom!"
He looked at Andy who handed him a cup. He didn't wait, just sat next to Ryan, downed the cup, and promptly passed out.
He woke in the hospital, wearing a lab coat. He blinked a few times until he got his wits about him and went to find his wife. He strolled through the halls with a snarl on his face, daring anyone to question him. When he made it to the patient's floor, he barked, "Ryan Fawcett," at one of the nurses.
The woman had the decency to look afraid of him. "Room 124."
He wondered if Ryan had made the connection. It was his birthday. He strode down the hall and walked to her room. At least, he thought it was her…no, it was definitely her, but he'd not seen her like this before. She was a teen, no more than sixteen or seventeen. He had never realized how much Hope looked like her mother. Same lithe build, same hair, same eyes; the only difference was his nose and mouth on his daughter's face. This was Ryan. And she was currently talking out of her head. She was also strapped down to the bed. "Ryan! God, baby…"
She looked over at him as he began removing the restraints. "Nooooo…"
"Ryan? Come on, sweetheart. It's me, Dean."
"Dean is dead!" she shouted as she scampered as far away from him as the single restraint on her other arm would allow. "I don't know who you are, but he's dead!"
His hands stilled as he blinked. "Ryan?"
"I killed him!" she spat. "It wasn't a demon! It was me! I killed my mom and I killed Dean!" she began sobbing great wracking sobs that shook her whole frame.
He swallowed hard. If she was that far into this…no, he knew he could help her. "Ryan, baby, it's me, I swear."
"You're a hallucination," she blubbered. "You're not real!" She started rocking and humming.
He watched her for a minute, trying to figure out what to do. That was when he recognized the tune. Relief flooded him. "That song? It's called 'Unwell' and it's by Matchbox Twenty."
She didn't look at him, but she did stop rocking as she stated in petulant, teenage voice, "Yeah? So?"
He smiled. "Sweetheart, Matchbox Twenty didn't release that song until 2003. I know, because it's one of your favorites. It speaks to you. You told me about it a little bit, on the drive back from the Bunker, when you and Hope saved me from becoming a demon. You saved me from more than that. You love me and I love you. I swear it. You were on a hunt with Andy, Sam's wife, one of your best friends. You killed one of the djinn, but you didn't realize there was another one. It jumped you."
She lifted her head to look at him. "Dean?"
"I swear, baby, I'm alive. I've been killed a lot, but never by you. You may wanna strangle me, but you've never actually done it."
"But…the doctor said…"
"It's a lie. It's a djinn nightmare, sweetheart. Come on, Peaches, wake up for me, please?"
"I can't," she whispered. "What if you're wrong?"
"What if I'm right? Don't you wanna come back to me? Hope? Bobby? Jon? Krissy? Ben? Jesse? Hell, even Sam and Andy? Tory? Cas?"
Her eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth. "They're real?"
He nodded. "Yeah, they are. I swear it."
She bit her lip as her nostrils flared in an attempt to stop crying. It didn't work as the tears rolled down her face. "I can't believe it. No one would want me. I'm just a fuck-up. Why would you want me? I'm suicidal. I killed my mom. I…"
He grabbed both her hands in his own as he slipped the last restraint off. "You didn't kill your mom. That demon did. He hurt you then he possessed you. Me and Sammy pulled him outta you, I swear it."
"Dean? My Dean?"
He nodded as he felt the tears slipping down his own face. "Yeah, baby. I'm yours. Forever."
She grabbed him then and clung to him as she cried. "Wake up," she started whispering. "Wake up, wake up, wake up…"
And just like that, he opened his eyes and saw the exposed metal beams above his head. "Ryan?!" he shouted as he turned over to look at her.
She blinked a few times and gasped, "DEAN!" He grabbed her and she clung to him. "Oh, Dean! It was terrible!"
"I know, baby, I know." He rocked her back and forth as she sobbed. He looked around and found Andy taking care of the faucet that was currently Hope's nose. "She okay?" he questioned softly.
Andy nodded. "I think so. She just overdid it. We're all riding in the car on the way home."
"The Falcon? That will be tight," he commented.
Andy shrugged. "We'll make it." She looked at him a few moments. "I'mma take Hope outside, see if I can get something else to stop her nosebleed. You got this?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"For fucking up? For almost getting her killed? Which one?"
"For calling me and saving her life," he told her. "The fact you didn't know there were two djinn? That could happen to anyone, Andy."
"I wasn't on my game."
"Yeah you were. You did good, Winchester." He gave her a smile.
She let out a stuttering breath. "I need a fucking drink."
"Yeah, tell me about it. But not yet." He looked down at his wife in his arms. She was still sobbing. "This may take a while."
Andy nodded. "I'll call Sam. Take your time. When she's ready, we'll go back to the motel, hang out the rest of the night, then go home tomorrow."
Dean nodded again. "Sounds good. " He watched Andy leading his daughter away, both walking stiffly, before he turned his attention back to Ryan. "Ry? Baby?"
She lifted her head and grabbed his face with both her hands. "Those eyes…when I thought I'd never seen those eyes again, I couldn't…" she took a few deep breaths, though they were still stuttering as she tried to control her emotions. "It felt so real," she whispered.
"Been there, done that."
She hugged him all the tighter. "I love you, Dean."
"I love you, Ryan. So much. When Andy called me…"
"How did you get here so fast?"
"Angel air."
"Cas…?"
He shook his head. "Turns out Hope's been holding out on us."
"She can fly?!"
He nodded. "But it hurt her. Andy's out there patching her up. She's okay!" he exclaimed when Ryan began to stand. "Just stay here. She's fine. Andy will take care of her." He put a gentle hand to her face. Now that he was looking at her, he could see the cuts and bruises on her face. "What the hell happened, Peaches?"
"He was tougher than he looked."
"You run him through?"
"Damn straight."
He smiled. "That's my girl." He paused. "What happened after that?"
She thought a moment. "Well, I wrapped Andy's chest, she broke at least one rib. He threw her around like a damn rag doll. Then, after that, I called you on my way to get food. I hung up with you and I guess I just wasn't being as watchful as I should, I don't…I don't remember anything after that."
He nodded. "Okay, that's fine. I'm just glad you're okay."
She was shivering. "I don't ever wanna live through something like that again."
He blew out a breath. "Yeah, me either." He held her for a time before he asked, "You okay to get up? You still need to eat and we can go back to the motel. I'll get me and you a room. Hope can bunk with Andy. Sound good?"
"That sounds perfect. I need to sleep in your arms and you not let me go for about ten hours."
"I can handle that."
"I need to feel you, Dean. I need to be skin-on-skin. I need you."
He would be there for her, no matter what she needed. "I'm there, babe. You know that."
He stood and helped her to her feet. He sneered at the dead body lying on the ground, the first time he'd noticed the female with the blade sticking out of her chest. He wrapped his arm around Ryan and guided her out of the building.
He walked to the car and found Hope sitting in the back seat propped up with a towel still on her face. "She gonna live?" he asked Andy.
Andy nodded and winced as she stood. "Yeah. She'll be fine. It's about stopped."
He leaned into the car and looked at his daughter. "Thank you, Hope. You saved your mom's life tonight. If you hadn't got me here, if I couldn't have gotten her out of the dream, it would have killed her."
Hope removed the towel and looked at him. "I'm just glad I could."
"You okay, kid?"
She nodded. "But I can't heal Mom or Andy at the moment…"
"We're fine, Hope, just focus on you," Andy told her.
"Yeah, it's cool. They'll make it until morning. Let's get back to the motel," Dean added. He looked at Andy. "You good, Doc?"
She puffed out a breath. "I'll live, but can you drive? I'll get in back with Hope…"
"No, I will. I'm not hurt like you. Sit up front with Dean," Ryan stated softly.
"You sure, Ryan?"
Ryan swallowed hard and nodded as she dislodged herself from Dean. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
The whole ride back, through the drive thru window for crappy burgers and fries for the women, and then on to the hotel, Dean kept glancing at Ryan in the rearview mirror. She was staring out the car window, not speaking, though, as tired as they all were, that didn't surprise him. He caught Hope's eye and she smiled and nodded. "She's fine," she mouthed to him. He breathed out a sigh of relief.
They got back to the motel and he ran in, got a room for him and Ryan, then drove them over to their rooms. "Hope, you look after Andy, okay? Andy, same goes."
Hope gave him a mock salute and Andy said, "Can do, Chief."
He held a hand out for Ryan and he helped her to her feet before he crushed her in a hug again. "I'm so glad I got you back," he murmured into her hair. Now that they were almost alone, the reality of what could have happened crashed down on him.
"Me too," she whispered through new tears making their way down her face.
He led her into their room, letting her go only long enough to lock the door. When he turned, she had toed off her boots and removed her outer layer of shirts, leaving her only in a tank, bra, and jeans. "God, Ryan, when I think of what could have happened…"
"I know," she stated thickly as she held out her arms for him. He was over to her in a flash, touching every inch of her he could manage as tenderly as he could. "I won't break," she told him softly.
"I can't help it. You're precious, Ryan. So precious to me," he muttered as his lips found purchase on her skin.
"Love me, babe," she purred. "I need you. I need to feel you. I need to know…" Her breath caught. "I need to know you're real."
He nodded through his own tears as they undressed, hands never straying far from one another's bodies. When they were finally lying down, skin-on-skin, just as she wanted, he stopped and looked down at her. Both of her hands moved to his face and his own went to hers. "I don't do it often enough, but I thank God and Gabriel, both, for you," he breathed.
"Me too," she told him.
He wasn't surprised when, through the night, she woke up with nightmares, and when dawn broke, they were both tired and ready to go home. He knew she wasn't going to recover from this overnight, but he knew she would eventually recover. She was the strongest person he knew. She would be fine. It would just take a little time.
The ride home was quiet. Around noon, Hope was feeling well enough to patch up Andy's rib and fix Ryan's numerous bruises and cuts, but when she asked about removing the memory of the nightmare, Ryan adamantly refused. Her argument was sound. After all, how would she overcome it if she forgot about it? Dean was proud of her, even if he thought she was being an idiot about the thing.
When they finally got home, taking turns driving, everyone was at their house waiting. Sam had filled in the adults, but the little boys were just happy to see their mom and dad. Dean had never been more relieved to be home and as he looked at Ryan holding their boys, he was certain she felt the same.
November 26
Dean let out a belch. He was so freaking stuffed, he felt like the damn turkey that had been devoured about a hour before. "You're a pig," Sam commented as they cleaned up the dishes from the Thanksgiving feast they'd just scarfed down.
"It's my compliments to the cook," he stated as he popped Ryan's ass with the dish towel when she walked past.
Ryan shot him a look. "The cook is not amused," she commented before she dumped a stack of dishes in his arms and walked outside where a brutal game of touch football was going on between the teens. She was going to referee so the two with powers didn't cheat.
Dean smiled at his wife's retreating form. "How's she doing?" Sam asked as he reached for the dishes Dean was holding.
Dean shrugged. "Better. The nightmares aren't that bad now."
"Sucks that happened to her."
"Tell me about it. I'm wondering if I should get her out on another hunt so she doesn't get gun shy."
"I'm wondering the same thing about Andy. Not being able to save Ryan really bothered her."
"I wonder…" Dean thought a moment. "Should we take the other's wife out?"
"What? Why?"
Dean shrugged as he cleaned off the table and brought a few stray plates and silverware over. "I don't know. I mean…maybe if they had the one they're most like, instead of their husband…" He shrugged again. "Just an idea."
Sam's eyebrow rose. "So, wait. You want me and Ryan to send you and Andy out on a hunt. Alone?" He let out a bark of laughter. "Not just no, Dean, but HELL FUCKING NO."
Dean's brows furrowed. "Why not?"
"Did you seriously just ask me 'why not'?"
"Yeah. I did."
Sam shot him a bitch face. "Dude, no!"
"Come on, Sammy, quit acting like a den mom, alright?"
Sam shot him an incredulous look. "I'm almost insulted that you don't expect this reaction. I swear, sometimes it's like you don't know me at all." His tone sounded sarcastic, but Dean knew him well enough to know there was seriousness there as well. "No way in hell are you and Andy going on a hunt together, Dean."
Dean's eyebrow went up. "Why? Think she'll spend some real time with me and realize she settled?" He didn't mean it, but he was damn well going to try and get his brother's goat since he was obviously in 'overprotective moose' mode.
"First of all, it isn't like that. Unlike you, I'm not insecure, and I'm sure as shit not jealous. Second, spending time with you will only confirm the fact she made the smart choice." He stopped and turned from the sink, wiping his hands on the dish towel he'd had over his shoulder. "You know the only reason she likes you so much is because she sees enough of herself in you that you're like a twin sister, right?"
Dean opened his mouth, but snapped it shut as he thought about that. He finally asked, brow furrowed, "Are you comparing me to Ruby?"
"If the black eyes fit…"
Dean wanted to be indignant, but he couldn't help the smile. He knew Sam was jerking his chain. With a smirk, he asked, "How long ya been sitting on that one?"
"Too long," Sam admitted with a grin. "It was becoming physically painful holding it in, too, so thanks for opening that door for me."
He punched Sam's shoulder and they both chuckled as he walked to the fridge and grabbed two beers. He closed the door and leaned against it. Getting back to the subject, he asked, "If you're not jealous, then what's your deal? You know I'll keep her safe," he added as he tossed one bottle to Sam.
"Yeah, right," Sam snorted as he caught the beer and twisted the top off before taking a long pull.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked defensively. "I've kept you safe your whole damn life. Ryan hunts with me and all her fingers are toes area accounted for. Hell, my KIDS go on hunts with me regularly." He paused. "Well, okay, not regularly, but they will! Ryan trusts me to take them out! So, I ask again, what makes you think I'm not capable of watching after Andy? After all, she'd barely need me. She's a hell of a hunter in her own right. Besides, I'm climbing the walls, man, and so is she. I've seen it. She's nervous, yeah, but unlike Ryan, she ain't gun shy. She's itching to prove herself out there again, to prove she's got it and last time was a one-off fluke." He sighed. "Besides, I need to get out there, driving my baby on the blacktop and headed to kill a next-level nasty. I'm jonesing, man."
"What are we talking about?" Ryan asked as she walked back in from the yard with a dirty little boy in her hands. Jon had obviously been playing in a dirt pile. Dean took him from her and she kissed Dean's cheek before she stole his beer and cooed, "Thanks, sweetheart."
He took the boy over to the sink and washed his hands as she walked back to the table and propped her feet up in a chair. She took a sip of Dean's beer, then asked, "So, what are you jonesing for?"
Dean put Jon down and let him toddle off toward the living room, glancing at the stairs to make sure the gate was shut before he answered, "Hunting. Or more specifically, Sam refusing to let Andy hunt with me."
"Good," Ryan commented as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Sam immediately gave Dean a smug "na-na-na-na-boo-boo" grin.
Dean shot her a surprised look and held his hands out at his sides. "Why do you ALWAYS side with him?!" He couldn't stop adding with a pout, "It's annoying."
She winced. "Sorry, babe, I know it seems that way, but despite Sam's smartass expression, this isn't about taking sides, okay? It's just a bad idea. And it's not because I'm scared to go back out. I know you're worried about that."
"Ry…"
She shook her head. "I'll know when I'm ready. I'm not hanging up my hat, okay? I just…need some time."
"I understand that. But Andy needs to get back out and back on that horse!"
"And you're just the bronco to take her for a spin?" Ryan offered with a condescending tone.
Dean's eyes narrowed. "Look, I'm not trying to sound like a whiny bitch, but you and Sam have gone on hunts before, a lot!"
"In the other timeline!" she added.
He sighed. "I wouldn't hesitate to trust you with Sam. I wouldn't hesitate to trust Sam with you. Because I know you'd look after each other and get back to me and Andy. Can't you just offer me the same damn courtesy?"
"Dean, it's different!"
"Why? Give me one good damn reason why it's different. I mean, you two are so freaking…close. You read those boring ass books about adolescent, expressionless, douchebag vamps, you run together, you spar together, you research together, I'm sure you talk about your cycles, well, Sam's in any case…" Realization dawned and he turned to Sam. "I guess I kinda get why you're so overprotective, seeing as how Andy broke your streak."
Sam's expression was clueless as he inquired, "What streak?"
"You successfully closed the deal with her. Hell, you even married her. And she's still breathing! I'd have a tendency to hold on too tight, myself, if I managed to find a woman immune to my killer wang."
Ryan let out a groan and he saw her put her head on her arm on the table.
His brother let out a growl. "Go ahead and hurl insults if it makes you feel better," Sam remarked, "But it's different."
"He's right, Dean," Ryan interjected. "Me and Sam? We can be together and still be fully functional adults. You and Andy? You're…you're like…" Ryan looked to Sam for help.
Sam shrugged and shook his head. "Look, this isn't about you or Andy being incapable, okay? But you gotta admit, you're reckless at best, and that's with me and Ryan keeping you in check. And Andy? I love the woman more than I love oxygen, but she's hell on wheels."
"Alright," Dean agreed with an eye roll. "What's your point?"
Ryan walked over and put a hand on his face. "You need the balance that me and Sam provide. Without it, you two go out and start sharing war stories, getting wound up…it's kinda like mixing fire and kerosene."
Dean pointedly ignored his wife and looked at Sam. "I asked for a point."
Sam deadpanned; "Andy's seen and done a lot of dark shit. So have you. Dean plus Andy plus hunting equals a Molotov cocktail of stupid at a kegger. It'd be like narcotics anonymous having a 'bring your dealer' day. It's just wrong."
At Dean's look, Sam added, "Look, man, seriously, I love the fact you two bonded almost instantly. But Ryan and I can't help but notice, every time you get together, Johnny is never far behind. Things never get out of hand, but you guys have developed this comfortability with one another, one that makes you two feel that you can be the worst version of yourselves when the other is around. It's not necessarily a bad thing," he added quickly, "You've both had a rough go for a long time, and I'm sure I can speak for Ryan when I say we're both happy you guys have each other to talk to."
"But?" Dean implored, not thrilled with the direction this conversation was headed.
Sam sighed. "I just know if left to your own devices, your behavior would devolve to levels that would embarrass a fraternity." He shrugged and gestured with his hand between the two of them. "Look, I know the only person Andy is truly safe with besides me is you. It's just-"
"I see," Dean interrupted with a nod. "We need babysitters. You and Ryan get to play judge and jury, which means me and Andy are guilty before we've had a chance to screw up. Sounds fair."
Just then, a sound caught his attention. Sam opened his mouth to argue, but Dean threw a hand up. "Shh!" He squinted as he strained to listen. "Do you hear that?"
"I don't hear-"
"SHHH!" There were muffled yells coming from Ben's room. Dean hadn't realized sometime during his and Sam's…whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, apparently the boys had come inside. "What IS that?!" Dean wondered aloud as he followed the sounds to Ben's bedroom door.
Sam followed his brother, probably thankful for the temporary distraction. Dean hit the back of his hand against the door. "Ben?" As he pushed the door open, he saw Jesse, Ben and Andy sitting on Ben's bed in front of the television, each furiously wrenching an Xbox controller. "The hell are you guys doing?" Dean asked with a curled lip.
"Wasting these Covenant bitches!" Andy offered impatiently before she yelled, "Ben! Jesse! You're UNSC Spartans, for Christ's sake! Move your asses and clear the damn LZ!"
Jesse shouted, "SHIT! That grunt's got a plasma cannon! Braeden, cover my six!"
"Cover your-I can't cover anything right now cause this Elite is about to shove an energy sword up my ass! DAMMIT! Quit darting around, you fucker, so I can end you!"
"Oh, God," Dean groaned as he sat in a chair beside the bed and shot his chosen sister a disgusted look. "Don't tell me this geeky shit has penetrated my home and infected you, Andy." He gave Sam an accusatory glare and pointed at the television. "Ya see why we need to go on a hunt? This is what you're reducing her to! Before long, she'll be on a diet of Doritos and red bull and she'll resemble an overweight and understandably single middle-aged man who breathes through his mouth and talks about D and D all damn day!"
"Hey!" Andy shouted as she paused the game and turned to look at Dean. "I resent the stereotype, dude. First of all, Sam doesn't reduce me to anything. I like what I like and I make no apologies. Second, I'll have you know, gaming is a kick-ass hobby, and it also happens to be a hell of a fun way to kill time. You talk about hunting? Just watch the game for a bit. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
Dean sat back and folded his arms, a disgusted look on his face that he noticed didn't escape Ben's attention. "I'm surprised at you, Dad...you've got more useless, geeky trivia stored in your melon than anyone I know, and you're gonna judge someone over a video game?" He shook his head. "It's sad, man. Just sad."
"No, what's sad is that two healthy decent-looking young men would rather stay holed up doing this than the cheer squad, your sister excluded."
"DEAN!" Sam bellowed.
"WHAT?!" Dean yelled back. "Oh," right," he said with an eye roll. Sam had certainly earned a few from him today. "Because NOT having sex with girls in high school is what EVERY young man aspires to do. Better to take a page from Sammy's 'How to Nail A Cougar' handbook, right?"
Sam opened his mouth to fire back, but Andy sighed. "Jesus, Dean, with that kind of childish logic, you'd think gaming would be right up your alley."
"You'd think gaming would be right up your alley," Dean echoed mockingly. He jerked a controller off the tv stand and grumbled, "How do you do this, anyway?"
"Pretty simple, really," Andy explained as she leaned toward Dean so he could observe how the controls worked. "See? 'A' to jump, 'Y' to switch weapons, 'X' to reload...'RT' to fire, 'RB' to melee and 'LB' to throw a grenade."
"Alright, sounds easy enough. What do I shoot at?"
"Anything not human," Jesse answered shortly. "Come on, just jump in already, you'll get the hang of it soon enough. Besides, all your noob questions are really annoying to those of us trying to play."
Dean's eyebrows shot up as he looked at Jesse. "Fine," he growled. As soon as he joined the game, he made a B-line for Jesse, pulled out a pistol and killed him with a headshot.
"DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?"
Dean didn't answer, just wore a self-satisfied smirk.
"You wanna go there, old man? Let's go then." Jesse didn't search Dean out, but Dean realized it a fraction of a second too late, the kid was camped out on top of a structure. Jesse had bided his time and waited for his opportunity, using the scope on his sniper rifle as a spyglass. The multiplayer was split-screen, but since Dean wasn't familiar with the maps, he was helpless and eventually wandered into Jesse's line of sight. And with a loud boom, Dean's character dropped to the ground.
"Wha- how did-" Dean stammered then yelled, "Where did you get that? I want one! All I have is the assault rifle and pistol and-Andy, how do I get one of those?"
She rubbed her forehead and groaned. "Look, why don't we make this interesting...PVP, anyone?"
"Sure," Ben answered behind a chuckle. "This oughta be good."
"I'm in," Jesse replied, holding his controller up.
"Wait, what? What's PVP?" Dean asked, looking first at Ben, then back at Andy.
"Player versus player," Ben explained impatiently. "Blue team against red team, each player chooses their load outs." At Dean's blank expression he elaborated, "You can choose which weapons you wanna use."
"Ohhh..." Realization spread across Dean's face and he had an even more boyish excitement than usual as he said, "Ooh! Does that mean I can-"
"Yes, Dean," Jesse interrupted dryly, and even Dean could tell the kid was about to tear his too-long hair out in frustration, "That means you can choose the sniper rifle."
Dean saw Sam out of the corner of his eye as he folded his arms and watched with a grin as Andy tried her best to patiently tutor his brother, but Dean didn't do anything without knowing everything about it. EVERYTHING.
Time slowly slipped away from them and nearly a half hour later, Andy bit out, "Tell you what." Dean noticed she was choking back a shriek of impatience. So, he may have understood it a little quicker than he let on, he just loved pissing the pint-sized hunter off. She took a deep breath through her nose. "Why don't we just play...the more you play and the more familiar you are with the maps, the better you'll know which weapons to use and when. Okay? Now, since you're new to this, team up with Ben and Jesse..."
"What about you?" Dean wondered aloud.
"Don't worry, she doesn't need a team." Dean turned to look at Sam. He smiled as he shook his head. "Man. Popping your cherry with gaming is one thing. Letting Andy be the one to pop it? With HALO?" He chuckled. "Brace yourself, dude. You thought Alistair was bad? Just wait. My wife is NOT gentle."
"Aww, thanks, baby," Andy cooed smarmily as she shot her husband a wink.
"Yeah, 'Baby'," Dean snarled. "Pretty sure if I could handle the tortures the baddest demon in Hell could find, I can take on this pint-sized menace."
Andy shot him a look so cold, he felt a draft. "Alright, back to business..." she ordered. "Oh, and, uh, one last thing. Dean, this won't be just us playing each other...it's online multiplayer, so there will be lots of other Spartans out there. You guys are Red Team, so stick to red and look for Ben and Jesse's gamer tags. It's the only way you'll know them from everyone else."
"Okay," Dean answered hesitantly. He knew what Andy was capable of with a machete, gun, or knife. He talked a good game, but his survival instincts were screaming at him. Maybe he was in over his head. But he'd be damned if he'd admit it. "What's the endgame?"
"You see blue? Light the bastards up," Ben growled.
"I like the sound of that," Dean smirked with a smug grin. He could handle this. It was just a damn video game. "Let's do this."
It didn't take long for Dean to get the hang of things. And within minutes, his competitiveness took hold as he killed one blue Spartan after another and began barking orders to Ben and Jesse, who politely ignored him, but he didn't let it bother him. They thought they knew more? Fine. Let them.
As he got better with the controls and comfortable with the aiming, he had one mission: kill Andy. She was holed up in an abandoned Covenant armory, picking off Red Spartans like fish in a barrel. Dean had to hand it to her; she was good, which would make snuffing her out all the more satisfying.
Ben and Jesse split off to try and flank the armory while Dean moved up the middle with a few online players, slowly pushing forward, mowing down enemies with their assault rifles. They had almost reached the armory when Dean suddenly noticed a red Spartan appear on the roof, holding a VERY big gun. "Sweet holy Moses," Dean breathed, then yelled, "Ben! Jesse! The roof! Take that guy out! GUYS!"
A smile played at the corner of Andy's mouth. "That's not a guy, Dean."
"Huh?" Dean glanced at Andy with a furrowed brow for a second before it finally sunk in. His eyes widened. "No way," he whispered. He looked back at the screen. "NO WAY!"
"Bye, Dean." Andy fired, killing him along with any Spartan unfortunate enough to be in spitting distance.
Dean stared at the screen in shock, then shouted, "WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!"
Andy shrugged. "Plasma cannon. It's a Covenant weapon that works kinda like napalm." She leaned closer to Dean, inhaled deeply and taunted, "I love the smell of Spartans napalmed in the morning."
"Ha fucking ha, smartass," Dean spat. "Let's go again."
"Do it without us," Ben remarked as he stood to his feet and tossed his controller on the bed.
"Agreed," Jesse said and he stood to his feet as well. "Though I gotta say, Andy, watching you hand Dean his ass was the highlight of my day, my week, probably my whole year, so thank you."
Andy answered with an exaggerated bow.
"I second that," Ben managed through laughter as Dean glared. "What? So you got knocked down a few pegs, no big deal...everyone needs it every now and again. It keeps you humble."
"A fact you'll learn firsthand if you don't shut your hole," Dean warned.
"Fine, be a sore loser. We're out." Ben clapped Sam on the shoulder as he reached the doorway, but only before giving Dean the finger, tongue stuck out crudely and giggling like an idiot. "Have fun being Andy's fodder." As Dean stood threateningly, Ben laughed out an "oh, shit", and darted out of the room.
"Fucking annoying little asshole," Dean mumbled as he plopped back down next to Andy.
"Definitely yours," Andy affirmed.
"Yup. So?" Dean motioned toward the television. "Whaddya say?"
A wicked grin spread across Andy's face. "Bring it, Wyatt."
Even though Dean was focused on Andy, he heard Sam groan. And then heard Ryan's voice ask, "Sam? What's-" a pause, then, "Who knew Dean liked video games?"
"If you like this," Andy said excitedly, bringing him back to her commentary, "You'll love C.O.D. It's a military first-person shooter, but even better? It has zombie mode. It even has this thing where you can-"
"Say no more, you had me at zombie," Dean said as he held a hand up, sounding even to himself, more like a grade-schooler than a grown man with four children.
Andy leaned back, looking a little surprised. "You wanna play?"
"Damn right I wanna play! I GET TO SHOOT ZOMBIES!" He all but sprang to his feet. "But first, we need snacks. Come on, Doc, you grab a sixer while I make the popcorn and grab some twizzlers." And unlike Ryan, she didn't even comment on the fact they'd just finished a giant-ass meal a few hours or so before.
"This is gonna be awesome," Andy squealed before she pressed a kiss to Sam's cheek as they headed into the hallway. "You don't mind us playing, do you?"
Sam just shook his head. "Pfft. Mind? Why would I mind?"
Dean knew his brother was being a sarcastic shit, so he told him, "You know, this could be the solution to the problem we were discussing earlier."
Sam clenched his fists and Dean knew the younger man was doing all he could do not to wrap his hands around his brother's throat. Well, fuck that. Andy had a right to know about that shit.
Andy stopped and turned back to them. "What problem?" she asked as she looked at Sam curiously.
It was all Dean could do not to smirk. "Well," Dean offered, "I suggested to Sam that it might be a good idea for me and you to hunt together."
Andy gasped and turned to Sam. "Really?"
"Yeah," Sam cleared his throat. "But you know me, I'm just worried about you getting hurt."
Andy looked puzzled. "Why? I've practically made gutting demons my life's work, and I'm damn good at it. Plus, who am I safer with besides you than Dean? I mean, hell, you let me and Ryan traipse off together. Granted, it didn't turn out as well as any of us would have liked, but we made it out alive. Dean would give us that added brute strength, ya know?"
Sam shot daggers at his brother. Dean's only response was a smartass smile as he shoved his hands in his pockets and licked his lips.
"I know!" Andy exclaimed. "We can bring my Xbox with us. It'll be the perfect way to spend down time, eliminating any temptations to pull a juvenile stunt." She narrowed her eyes as Sam's widened. "Yeah, I know what's really up here, so cut the act. You should know by now to look and listen and try to find your wife before you start taking shit about her and her brother-bear. So, here's the decision you have to make: you either trust us, just like we trust you and Ryan, or you don't. It's that simple."
Sam swallowed hard. "Of course I trust you," he said softly.
"Thanks, sweetie," she told him with a soft smile.
"Mm-hmm," Sam replied, pressing his lips together and forcing a smile.
"Yeah, thanks sweetie." Dean shot Sam a wink and slapped Ryan on the ass, then continued down the hall with Andy. They were already talking strategies and hideouts.
As he walked down the stairs, he heard Ryan wonder aloud; "Are they talking about the game, or the hunt?"
Sam's voice was full of exasperation. "Who the hell knows? I know one thing for sure; mark my words, this one's gonna bite us in the ass.
Dean swore he wouldn't let it. Not even a week later, Dean and Andy got to prove Sam wrong.
December 2nd
Ryan POV
Sam, Dean, and Ryan were working in the war room. Well, Dean was. Sam and Ryan had just finished a sparring session and now Ryan's feet were in Dean's lap. She'd taken Sam down but had twisted her ankle slightly in the process. God love her man, because he'd taken her shoes off and was now giving her a foot and ankle massage as he perused a potential case.
He'd freaked out just slightly as Sam had helped her hobble to the war room. It was fine, and she felt sure after some ibuprofen, she'd be as good as new, but Dean, well, as much as he loved watching her and Andy go at it on the mat, often making lewd comments that had both the girls yelling at him, he never could watch her spar with Sam. She knew it was because she was so much smaller than his brother and it made him nervous. He was afraid Sam would unintentionally break her like a twig, though, usually, Ryan came out the victor, as she had today. The first time it happened, she accused Sam of letting her win, but then he had reminded her she'd had formal training in Tae Kwon Do and she had recently taken up Capoeira, so she was graceful in her takedowns compared to both men.
Just then, she heard the bunker door slam shut. She didn't need to open her eyes, which were currently closed as she tried not to make moaning orgasm sounds while Dean's strong hands worked her feet. By the gait, she knew it was Andy. She heard her friend plop in a chair across from her and huff out a breath. She raised her head slightly and opened one eye at Andy. "You look annoyed."
"Is it that obvious?" her friend growled. "Word to the wise? Never, ever, take Victoria Allard ANYWHERE."
Sam winced from where he was now investigating a case to pass off to Garth on his laptop. "Again?"
Leaning over on her elbows, she looked at Sam and said, "Hell, I figured, since it was mine and her turn to cook, surely I could take her to the grocery store. No trouble to get into there."
"Foolish girl," Ryan stated on a smirk. They had all decided to start taking turns since they usually fed a damn army every dinner meal. Tonight, Andy and Tory were supposed to be cooking spaghetti.
"Bite me," Andy retorted at her. "I'll spare you the details, with the exception of her calling someone a 'thundertwat' which I will be using at the next available moment." Andy shook her head. "I swear, though, next time I'm bringing Bobby to babysit her ass." She looked over at Dean, who appeared to be only listening with half an ear as he continued reading.
Ryan looked at him, too. She could tell by the look on his face, something about the newspaper report and subsequent police file he'd delved into was bugging him.
"What's up, Deano? Catch a case?" Andy inquired.
He ignored the nickname and commented with just an "Mmm-hmm."
"Wow. Must be good if you're ignoring me."
He glanced up then. "Sorry, princess. You're not that fucking interesting." He glanced back at the computer and continued reading.
Ryan watched as Andy got up, walked over to him, and scooted a chair right next to him. Andy's brows furrowed. "I think I've seen this before."
"Me too!" he stated excitedly. "God, it's been forever, though. I was probably like, twenty three? Twenty four? Sammy was at college, Dad was hunting the yellow eyed demon and I stumbled upon this."
"I caught one a few years ago," Andy commented as she continued reading over his shoulder.
"But is it the same? I'm having trouble connecting the dots…it's driving me guano."
"Want me to take a loo-" Sam began, but Andy grabbed Dean's arm.
"Wait," she said, pointing to something on the screen. "There."
Dean read over the part she was pointing at before his eyes widened. "How the hell did I miss that?" He gave Andy a surprised look. "How the hell did you DO that?! You looked at it for like, two seconds!"
Andy shrugged and with a smirk, commented, "I'm not COMPLETELY useless."
Dean smiled. "Guess not." He rubbed his eye with a finger tiredly as he let out a sigh. "I think it's in the MOL notes."
"On it, boss!" she exclaimed as she jumped up. Dean continued reading and she showed up a few minutes later with an ancient looking file. "Bam."
"So is it…?"
She nodded. "Yup."
"Damn. It's…"
She nodded again. "The thing from…"
"The place?" he finished.
"Afraid so."
He sighed. "Well, shit."
Andy pondered a moment. "It'll take a solid gold blade."
"In the store room, under the box of antique porn," he stated dismissively as he continued reading.
"Oh! I'mma have to take a look. Got any dongs I'd be interested in?"
Dean chuckled. "Pretty sure they only have tits and ass, but I didn't record everything. I just got out what I was interested in. Be my guest."
"Maybe later. Give me five," she commented as she walked back out of the room.
Sam and Ryan exchanged a confused look. "What the fuck?" Ryan muttered.
Sam shook his head, but Ryan noticed Dean ignored them both as he continued reading the file Andy had brought him. Ryan hadn't seen him this interested in a case, since, ever. Not the researching part of it, that much was for sure.
Andy walked back in with the blade, another file, a book, and two beers. She passed one of the bottles and the file off to Dean who dropped the file onto his laptop before he unscrewed the cap of the beer and took a deep pull from it. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and offered a "Thanks," before he picked the paperwork back up and began reading.
Andy nodded and sat down in the chair next to him, opening the book as she went. She quickly began reading as well, opening her own beer dismissively as she concentrated on the text before her.
Sam cleared his throat then stated sarcastically, "So, what, Dean? You need a secretary now?"
Dean and Andy both shot him duplicate irritated looks before growing in unison, "Shut up, Sam."
Sam raised his eyebrows and shared another look with Ryan, who shrugged. She had no idea what the two of them were up to, or why it seemed as though they were in sync.
Dean tapped a few keys on the laptop and sent some info to the printer. Ryan heard it firing up and begin spitting out papers. "Do we have…?"
"Everything? No, unfortunately. The ram's blood, we'll have to get."
He took the book from her and read something. Ryan noticed it was an MOL spell book. "No biggie. The rest…"
"The rest is fairly easy to come by. A drop by the occult book store, a stop at the Whole Foods store for the fresh herbs we need, bada bing bada boom, baby!" she exclaimed.
"Okay," Dean said with a nod as he stood. "I'm sold. You wanna get in on…"
"Ganking this bitch?" Andy smirked. "Thought you'd never ask."
Dean motioned her with his hand. "C'mon, we need to make sure Baby's loaded up."
"Wait…" Sam began but Dean shot him a glare.
"You wanna trust me and her? Here's the first step."
"Yeah, Sam, we'll be fine. Come on, Dean! Daylight's wasting! It'll be dark soon and we need to get there to kill it before night falls tomorrow and the moon changes cycles!"
"On it, Doc!" he shouted as he walked after her.
As they watched their spouses leave, Sm and Ryan turned to each other, slack-jawed.
Sam managed to snap his mouth shut before saying, "Call me Captain Obvious, but I'm gonna say it…they're spending too much time tougher."
Ryan curled her lip at him. "Gee, ya THINK!?" Staring toward the garage, she stated, "You know, I've never seen a Borg assimilation live and in person…"
Sam's eyebrows furrowed. "Huh?"
She shook her head. "Never mind. Let's just go home. I need a shower. They're gone now. Noting left to do but trust them. We can deal with the Collective when they get back."
He just looked at her. "Maybe you're playing too many video games."
She let out a laugh. "I don't even play, Sam. I just hear it enough from the boys and occasionally I sit in there with them as they play. It's relaxing, the sounds of gunfire after hearing the littles scream at one another all day and hearing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song on repeat." She stood and tested her ankle. It was feeling much better now that Dean had massaged the sore muscle. She slipped her sneakers back on and said, "Come on. Looks like you and I are bachelors for the next few days."
"Should we worry?"
"About the two of them?" She considered it. "Probably. But I trust them both implicitly. And no matter how much we may worry about them acting like college kids with their first taste of freedom, we've got to give them this space. They wanna hunt? We let them. For now."
"You sure?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure. Come on, let's go to the house. Want to just stay with us?"
He sighed. "I guess I'll go pack a bag. I'd hate you to have to keep up with all the kids by yourself."
"You know the teens aren't that bad."
"Until Jesse and Hope piss each other off."
That gave her pause. The two were friends, yes, but when Jesse got a girlfriend the week before Thanksgiving, and the head cheerleader to boot, Ryan had noticed Hope had become a bit snippy with the boy. "Good point." She sighed. "It would be awesome if you just stayed. You know the guest bed is made up in the basement."
He nodded. "Sounds good."
December 11th
Hope POV
Ben smirked as she got into the car. "Dude, your ass is grass and Ryan is the fucking lawnmower," he commented to his sister.
"Shut your hole, Ben," Hope growled as he started the car.
"Well, really-" Jesse began, but snapped his mouth shut as Hope cut him with a glare that would have probably turned a mortal to ice.
"It wasn't that bad."
"Not that bad? Not that bad!?" Jesse's tone was incredulous. Clearly the half-demon didn't value his life since he continued mouthing off to her. "You got ISS the week before Christmas break. You, Krissy, and Claire are probably going to be kicked off every damn team and group you're on, and you have the nerve to say it's not that bad?"
Ben let out a bark of laughter. "Oh just wait. I wanna be here for this show!"
"Can it, Ben," Krissy interjected. "It isn't our fault the establishment can't handle three friends…"
"Three friends all but undressing each other for the talent show? Yeah, that one's gonna go over like a fucking lead balloon," Jesse stated flatly.
The two girls remained quiet but Ben just couldn't seem to let it go. "The least you could have done was picked a better song…"
"BEN!" they both shouted. Personally, Hope liked the song. 'Bang Bang' by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj was a decent enough song. She would have rather had a song by Bad Company, but she was outvoted in favor of a song most of the school assembly would know. And they had. They'd eaten it up like a fat kid with an ice cream. After all, it had been one hell of a show.
Ben chuckled as he drove. Since he'd gotten Cherry finished, they usually took turns driving to school. Jesse wasn't really interested in getting a vehicle, and Hope's wasn't finished, so her older brother or Krissy usually drove.
The rest of the ride was quiet and when they pulled into the driveway, Hope looked at the house with a slight whimper. It wasn't that bad, right? Dean and Ryan couldn't actually kill her, could they? She knew Krissy would take her lickings, but it was all Hope's fault for suggesting it in the first place. Besides, it wasn't an actual striptease, they'd just taken off a few items of clothing. They'd all had on nude bodysuits so nothing at all was able to be seen. It just…looked like everyone was getting a show. She sighed.
They all sat there a moment, reveling in the quiet, because he knew once they got out and walked inside, the shitstorm would probably be at category 5 levels. "Well, one thing about it, if you weren't my sister, Hope, I would have enjoyed the show a bit more. Jess? Think the other high school boys liked it?"
Jesse didn't answer, but his grin did.
Hope huffed out a breath and shoved on Ben's seat. "Let me out, asshole."
"Language," he warned her.
"I have no problem fucking you up," she muttered under her breath as she raised a hand. "A snap of my fingers and that precious dick of yours will fall off."
His wide eyes cut to hers in the rearview mirror. She knew he wasn't one hundred percent sure she was bluffing. After all, he had heard stories of what Gabriel had done to Sam and Dean, what Zachariah had done. Screwing with angels wasn't the smartest play.
She smirked. "Good boy."
He stood and let her out from behind him, Krissy following. Hope started to walk away when she heard, "Look," he whispered to her chosen sister, "I know it wasn't your idea. Sit back and let her take the fall for it, Kris."
"I did it as much as she did, Ben, and I won't hesitate to fall on my frikkin' sword for it," she seethed. "But I'm not a snitch and I'll be damned if I let her take the fall for this on her own!"
Hope could hear his smile as he said, "Good. Just wanted to make sure."
She let out a growl and marched after Hope, who had now stalled at the bottom of the porch steps.
Ben, apparently, was in 'asshole mode' as he marched into the house and said, "Oh, Dad! You're not gonna believe what Hope and Kris pulled today."
Dean groaned as he walked out from the kitchen with Jon on his hip. "What?"
Jesse chimed in; "Oh, I'm sure the school's gonna chat with you about it. But it was AWESOME."
Hope sucked in a breath through her nose as Dean shot her, then Krissy, a look. "You do realize this isn't the way to convince me or Ryan of the fact you two are ready to graduate high school and become full time hunters, right? Being mature means making the decision ON YOUR OWN that giving a public strip-o-gram on stage might not be such a gangbuster idea."
Hope winced and Dean nodded. "Yeah. I already talked to the school. And your mom…"
About that time, they heard Ryan shout, "HOPE DEANNA WINCHESTER!"
Hope tried to play it off. "Come on, Dad, what's the big deal?! There wasn't any skin exposed or anything. We were just having fun."
"The big deal? You wanna know what the big deal is? You're parading it around like a fuckin' prostitute and that is NOT the kind of attention you want!"
Ben shot Jesse a look. "We aren't needed here, are we?"
Jesse shook his head and took Jon from Dean. "Nope."
Ryan appeared just then. "I'm sure we aren't done with you two, I just can't think of anything you've done wrong. Yet. Keep up with Jon and Bobby while I attempt not to kill the only other two females in the house."
Ben swallowed hard. "Yes ma'am," he stated as he started guiding Bobby, who had just finished snack, into the living room.
"On second thought," Jesse stated as he picked up the keys to the Expedition, "Come on, little dudes, I think we wanna am-scray from this whole house."
Bobby's eyes widened as he surveyed the situation and nodded vehemently. "Yeah. Let's get outta here!"
They watched the four boys walk out of the house before Hope chanced a glance at her father, who was shooting daggers at her. "You know what?" he growled. "I'm not even going to try to convince you two what you did was wrong. Consider yourselves the home school valedictorian and runner up."
Hope gasped. "What?! You can't DO that!"
"Watch me. I'll do it myself if I have to. And you can forget hunting until you prove you're able to make a smart decision. It's not even the 'pay-by-the-hour' attitude that gets me. It's the smug little grin you were sporting a half a second ago. I invented it, so I know the look. You were wrong and you know it, but you're too stubborn to admit it. That's not adult behavior. Attitudes like that belong in daycare. So welcome it."
"But…but…Daddy!"
"Don't even THINK about pulling that sad poor pitiful me crap, Hope. Own up to it and we'll consider revising your punishment. Once you realize what the hell you did wrong and own up to it, plus the things you can think up that I don't even know about or haven't thought of yet."
"Da-"
He held up a hand. "Save it. Right now, I'm so fucking pissed at you, I can't even look at you."
As he stormed away, slamming the front door in his wake, Hope pled with her mother, "Mom, please…he can't do this!"
Ryan shrugged. "You crossed a line, Hope." She sighed and glanced at Krissy, who had remained silent. "Oh, don't worry, missy, you're not blameless in this, either. Just because he walked off pissed does not mean I will. First off, you two are grounded. No hunting, no going anywhere other than work or school or to train."
"But…" Hope began.
Ryan let out a growl of frustration and clenched her fists. "Hope Deanna, so help me GOD." She blew out a breath. "I'll talk to him after he's cooled off a bit, but seriously, if he doesn't change his mind, because I'm supporting him in this decision, then you have no one else to blame but yourselves."
"If he doesn't, then I'll just…"
"Just what?" Ryan wanted to know with a slightly condescending tone. "Just threaten to throw an angelic tantrum, further proving you're not ready for everything you're asking for? Sorry, sugar, but you're asking for the perks of being an adult with none of the responsibly. Better you find out here than out in the real world that life don't work that way. The world doesn't love you like we do, Hope. If your dad didn't care, he wouldn't be so angry. Don't have the nerve to fault him for it. Not with me."
Hope opened her mouth before Ryan bit out, "And another thing? All these guys you're shaking your ass for, would any of them bother to fight for you? To DIE for you?! Because your father would, in spite of this asinine attitude. In a skinny damn minute."
"It was just a stupid dance, Mom!"
Ryan nodded. "Yeah, it might be, I'll give you that. But now? You don't think you two didn't put a target on your backs? On Claire's?"
"What do you…?"
Ryan shot her a cold look. "I'm not saying it's right, but the two of you have been pegged as easy by boys now. Go ask your brother. Ben will tell you what's up."
"But…"
Ryan let out a sigh. "I'm tired of this conversation. You did wrong. Own up to it. Go to your room, ladies, and I use that term very loosely. Go on up there and think about it. I bet you'll come around to my way of thinking if given enough time."
Hope watched her mother walk away as she chanced a look at Krissy, who just sighed and started walking up the stairs.
Hope followed her and when she broached the door to their room, flopped on her bed. "Are we in the wrong here?" she asked softly.
Krissy dropped onto her bed as well. "I don't know. Maybe?"
Hope sighed. "Life is much more complicated as a human girl."
Krissy snorted. "I honestly don't have a comeback for that."
Hope looked at her best friend. "How do I fix this?"
"First? I suggest you calmly talk to Dean. We can do damage control at school. If we're allowed back. But you gotta fix this thing with him, first."
"I just don't know what he wants. Why is it a double standard between us and Ben?"
Krissy thought about that a moment. "Because, those little skanks Ben screws around with? They aren't Dean's daughters, and that's what we are. And, too, Dean knows Ben doesn't care about them. He just doesn't want us being used like that."
"But he could talk to Ben…"
"He has," Krissy stated quietly. "I've heard him. Ben…" She blew out a breath. "I mean, it's not like the girls are being forced. They want to be with him. So, he's with them."
Hope pondered that a moment. "How are you doing with everything?"
"What? The fact I think I'm in love with him and he's oblivious?"
"He is Dean Winchester's kid," Hope commented.
"So are you," Krissy murmured. She shrugged as she stared up at the ceiling. "I don't know. I mean, I get it, he's not ready. I guess I just…"
"You need to go out and get laid."
"Says the angelic virgin."
Hope blushed, but sat up and looked at her friend. "Look, I'm serious. Right now? Granted, we're being punished, but the world is our oyster. Enjoy that. We've got all the time in the world for true love and shit. Go out and find a guy to enjoy. I thought things were going good with Douglas."
Krissy shrugged. "He's not Ben."
Hope rolled her eyes. "Nobody is Ben, but Ben. I can't tell you what to do about that. He's not ready, you are. Give him time. Once you two ever hit it, well, then you're golden. But give him time to get to that point."
Krissy shot her a dour look.
"What? You know I'm right. So, he's not ready, don't you be either. If Doug doesn't get your motor running, find someone that does."
Krissy muttered an oath under her breath. "Fine." She sat up as well. "But you need to poof your angelic ass over to wherever Dean went and make this right. I don't want to end up doing time in Casa de Winchester finishing up my year as a senior. I'm actually enjoying school."
"I'm sorry I roped you into it. You and Claire, both."
Krissy shrugged a shoulder. "I knew we'd probably get a slap on the wrist for it. I didn't think this level of napalm, but, hey, I made the decision to go along with it. So did Claire."
"You know Tory won't give Claire shit about this."
"No, but Cas might."
Hope chuckled at that. "Can you imagine Cas being a disciplinarian?"
"He was a bad-ass seraph, wasn't he?"
"Back in the day. But now?"
"Unless he takes a page out of the 'Dean Winchester Playbook' then the girl is screwed."
Hope winced. "Okay, I'll go talk to him."
"Good. And don't piss him off, okay?"
"I'll do my best," she murmured as she zeroed in on him and poofed to the bunker.
She found him on the shooting range. "Dad…"
He emptied his clip into the target before he ground out, "I got another clip. You sure you wanna talk to me while I have a gun in my hand?"
She let out a sigh and walked over to him anyway. She would live through a gun shot, and she was about eighty percent sure he wouldn't actually shoot her. "Dad, look…"
He turned then and looked at her and she was a tad relieved he had sat the gun down, first. "No. You look. I get it, okay? That grace rattling around inside you makes you feel invincible. Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But that doesn't change the fact you're a kid. My kid." He shook his head and leaned back against the wall. "My god, you're my kid. And you're a girl. You got way more of me in you than Ben does. But that's not the…" He gritted his teeth. "You're not grown, Hope! No matter what you think. You're almost there, yeah, and if you'd quit acting like ME you might get farther along than you are. I just…." He ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end. "God help me, I don't know what the hell I'm doing here, Hope! What are you trying to prove?!"
His eyes widened. "That's it, isn't it?" He let out a bark of laughter, though the situation was far from funny. "Why didn't I see it? You're in this thing short term. You know you're not gonna hang around, so why bother, right?"
"I'm an angel!" she spat. "I'm supposed to go topside when I'm old enough, whatever the hell that means! So I can't…I won't…I'm not gonna…" she started crying then and she heard him sigh as he walked over to her and grabbed her in his arms.
"I see. I get it now, kiddo. You're not gonna live long enough, so who gives a shit about your rep, right?"
She couldn't argue with him, even as she realized, though it was unintentional, that was what she had been thinking. What did it matter what those silly human boys thought? She was strong enough, if one of them tried anything, she could handle them. And, too, it wasn't like she was going to get a happy-ever-after, not like Krissy and Ben. The two of them were meant to be. Granted, they would have a few months, maybe a year or two of dancing around each other, but then they'd get together and hunt together and make babies and live to be old and grey and she would never get that! The thought caused her to sob all the harder.
Dean held her the whole time and when she finally slowed her sobbing, he held her at arm's length to look her in the eye. "Look, I been there, Hope, and it's a shitty way to live. You're not going up there tomorrow, so don't live like today's your last day. You'll have time to live a human life, Hope. You've already rushed growing up so much. Just…don't…don't do it like this, okay?" He blew out another haggard breath and she realized he'd been crying, too. "You don't wanna look back at the time you had here and realize it's filled with one regret after another. Believe me."
"I just wanna live," she stated quietly. "I feel like I've got a noose around my neck and any day now, I'm gonna be swinging from that rope."
He chuckled flatly. "Hello? Did you forget who you were talking to?! That's been my life for as long as I can remember." He sighed. "And what kind of 'living' are you referring to, exactly, in any case? Hangovers, pregnancies scares and misdemeanors ain't life, kid."
"I can't get pregnant, Dad."
His eyebrow rose. "Look, the plumbing works, doesn't it? Rules go out the damn window when Winchester blood flows through your veins."
She didn't have a comeback for that. Truthfully, that was always one thing she wished she could have. She didn't like being jealous, but that was one area she couldn't seem to help herself with. She smiled despite herself as she told him, "I don't know…getting drunk is pretty fun, from what I remember."
His eyebrow shot up about another inch. "Maybe for you. Ask Uncle Sam how much fun it is waking up to puke your guts out." He was quiet a moment before he all but whispered, "Wanna know what I'm gonna remember?"
She shook her head.
He smiled. "I'm gonna remember every time I woke up next to your mom. Or the day Sam and Andy…" he cleared his throat. "Made things official. The day Jon was born. Bobby's smile of mischief when he and I do something we know Ryan's gonna give us that look for. You know which one. The day Ben first called me 'Dad'. Those are the things I'll remember. There are a ton of other things, but my point is, you guys? You make me look back at all the shit that came before and I think maybe it wasn't so bad if it put me here. Those are the kind of memories you wanna make, angel face." He smirked. "Trust me. You'll never look back and think to yourself, 'damn. If only I'd been able to worship at that porcelain thrown just one more time'."
She giggled but then sobered. "But I'm not gonna have memories like that, Daddy. I won't have memories like you or Mom or Sam will. I can't have kids. I don't have a soul mate…" Tears started falling down her face again.
He grabbed her chin. "You WILL fall in love, and if you're lucky, you'll be like me, or you Uncle Sam, or even Cas. It will happen, Hope. You'll watch your brothers grow, you'll watch Ben get off his ass and admit he wants more from Krissy than just a friendship. You'll find someone you want to settle down with for the rest of your limited days on earth. And who knows? Maybe you can split your time between Heaven and here. My point is, don't do all the shit in life. Fill it with the good stuff. Because everything else? It's just that. Shit. And I don't know if you're aware of this, but shit? Shit stinks."
She giggled again and hiccupped. He smiled and pulled her to him for another hug. He kissed her hair. "I love you, Hope, so much. Please, for once in your life, listen to me. I've lived the shit. And it isn't fun. It isn't good. It isn't happy. Focus on happy. Because it's pretty damn important."
"Okay, Daddy," she whispered.
He pulled her away from him. "I mean it. No more shit, okay?"
She nodded. "Just being a normal, human, good girl."
He grinned. "Well, you don't have to be too good, but try not to give me heart failure, okay? You can't begin to imagine how it felt to get that phone call. Thankfully I took it. If your mom had…"
They both shivered at that. Ryan was one scary human. He smiled. "Come on. Let's go back home."
He reloaded his gun and slipped it in its holster before he slung his arm around her shoulder and they walked to the car together. He walked her to her car door and opened it for her. Once she had slid in, and he joined her, she asked, "So, about this whole homeschool thing…"
He chuckled. "I'll talk to your mom. Maybe I overreacted a little bit."
"You were right, though, Dad. I'll try harder."
"That's all I ask, Hope. That's all I ask."
When they got home, they found Ryan propped up on the couch, reading a lore book. "I'm sorry, Mom," Hope began as soon as she broached the door.
Ryan nodded. "I know, kid. But you're still grounded, so up to your room you go."
Hope gave her a grim smile and turned to walk up the stairs. As she went, she heard Dean fall to the couch next to Ryan. "Hope's supposed to be the easy kid! I'm fitting Gabe with angel cuffs. I don't know how I can do this again."
Ryan let out a chuckle. "Don't worry. I will handle Gabriel. You can have the demon boy."
Dean's tone was deadpan as he muttered, "You're too kind."
