So, instead of offering you a diary-entry, I figured I would instead provide some forewords before the actual chapter, just to-

Talia: "What's with that title?"

…you're not supposed to break the fucking fourth wall, Talia…

Talia: "Hey, you said this was a crack-chapter, I can do like Deadpool if I want to. Also what's crack?"

…How do you even…How did you even FIND me?!

Talia: "Paper-trails. Plus your Archivist gave me the address."

Oh. Fuck.

Talia: "Well, this damn well better be good. I'm tired, hungry, in need of a bath and I haven't been laid in like a month."

…You sleep with Aedan in the same sodding tent! And please don't talk about your sex-life in the introduction, it's my first one and I don't want Rhodry to have my ass over this.

Talia: "You know he'd love that, don't you? Besides, you get laid in a bed, fuckwit. I'm in need of a real, proper fu-"


I need to start locking my doors now...


A Woman's Inability to Deal


Redcliffe was, for better or for worse, more or less exactly as she remembered it.

Talia found a certain sense of comfort in knowing that these walls, the corridors, the hallways and the musty smell of old books wafting throughout the stony halls. The torches gave off the familiar scent of burning lamp-oil, and carpets relented softly under her boots.

She almost felt bad for dragging in the dust and dirt of the courtyard. It just seemed…mean, really, towards the people cleaning the carpets. 'Wardens coming through, dirtying your carpets' and all that. Though, somehow it sounded a lot more lewd than she'd intended the very moment she'd thought it aloud.

As they entered the castle proper, the group started splitting up. Daveth and J'zargo as much dragged as coerced Jowan and Leliana with them to the kitchens, while Wynne, Brelyna and Cíada made their way towards the castle library. It wasn't a very impressive collection of books, but the place was cozy, and made Talia wish she could read Thedasian, or at least just Fereldan. Alistair and Sten had not yet caught up with them from their detour, and Talia suspected their leader had brought Sten more as a symbol of strength - Qunari were intimidating, no matter how many Orcs you'd known - than to represent the Wardens.

Left behind - and that was somewhat intentional on their own part - she and Aedan were allowed to simply relax as they walked the corridors, headed first and foremost for the spacious resting room. It was likely that at this time of the day, they could find Eleanor there with a book, since she hadn't been at the when they arrived, nor in the courtyard.

First, however, both had discarded their armor, and given them to Owyn as he seemed to have been awaiting them at the stairways proper before the main doors. The man was dedicated, she had to give him that, and seemed intent on proving that he could serve the Grey Wardens as a main and dependable supplier of proper materials and crafts. Now, dressed down to simple Warden-robes and padded gambeson and trousers, the pair were intent on simply taking a breather, and trying for just one day to forget that the Blight was still a thing.

"You know…maybe we shouldn't show your mother that scar…" it was an afterthought more than anything, but it really should have been more at the forefront of her mind. Talia blamed her ease and sense of complacency for it, but couldn't be bothered to be genuinely concerned. Redcliffe just seemed to want her content, odd as that might have sounded; "…you think she's going to get…worried?"

"Y-yeah…probably, I mean…She's not..." he stopped himself and sighed, prompting her to squeeze his hand, mostly because she really just wanted to, and because he seemed ill at ease at the thought; "…you know what could have happened…"

"Could, meaning it didn't." she pressed, stopping with him at the door; "Aedan, mom's have this thing where they just throw sanity out the window when their kids are even slightly in danger. Should've seen my mother when she actually got mad."

"Scary?" he asked with a wry, small smile. She gave him a dead-pan, flat look in turn.

"She'd literally rip the earth apart and throw it at you." The words came out calmly, but that didn't change what seemed to be a drop of sweat rolling down his cheek; "Believe me, considering what we've been through so far, I think I would be the one with real reason to worry…Thank Mara she's halfway across the bloody world though. Don't think I'd be able to handle…"

"…handle?" Aedan repeated as she stopped mid-sentence, feeling an unnatural chill running the length of her spine; "…Talia?"

"…I just…had the most horrifying notion. We haven't seen this new Dunmer yet…" the idea alone was beyond absurd, and she didn't know why she even gave it the time of day. Mother would never come here, all this way, especially after having allowed Talia to at first run away to Skyrim, then write that letter where she basically gave her consent to her daughter being where she was without interference. And it wasn't even because there was bad blood between herself and her mother, it was just…she didn't want her family here, didn't want anymore of those she cared about this close to something as evil and destructive as the Blight.

"…maybe she's…out exploring the village and just didn't know how to approach us? I mean, you and Brelyna and J'zargo all ride more or less hidden behind your hoods, maybe she just didn't recognize them as non-humans and didn't know it was you?"

Neither of them had heard the footsteps treading softly on the rugs, and the tapestries did much to muffle the sound of shoe-leather on cushioning fabric. Talia's senses, normally so much keener than even that of the Grey Wardens, failed to pick up the incoming sound until the woman's breathing could be heard over her own.

"Or, maybe she is in the reclining room as you speak, awaiting your arrival?"

Both of them had already faced Ogres, Demons and even a High Dragon, yet the adrenaline-rush and startle brought by the unexpected voice was enough to send them leaping forward like frightened hares. Talia the most, as her sharper hearing picked up on and increased the volume so rapidly it sounded as if they had been shouted instead of spoken calmly.

"Molag's Balls, gave me a bloody heart-attack." The Breton gasped, glaring at Eleanor Cousland, while said woman's son seemed far more flabbergasted and startled than irritated. Talia, however, could hear her heart trying to hammer its way out through her ribcage. Aedan quickly transitioned from shock and surprise to simple relief and happiness at seeing his mother again, and picked the woman up in a hug, quite well showcasing just how much stronger he'd gotten.

"It's good to see you, mother." He grinned, gently setting the somewhat flustered Teyrna down. Irritated as she was at the surprise, Talia still couldn't quite keep an entertained grin from spreading across her own face as well, infected by Aedan's joy. Eleanor's expression seemed to also change from flustered amusement to simple relief, taking in the sight of them both.

And the Breton couldn't quite help wonder what exactly the older woman was seeing.

"It warms and eases my heart to see you both back safe, Aedan, Talia, I was starting to grow afeared something had happened." Eleanor sighed, smiling through half-open eyes; "Forgive me if I sound weary, I am simply lacking sleep. As you have heard, we have a newcomer guest from Tamriel, of all places."

"It is good to see you again as well, Lady Eleanor." Talia replied with a genuine smile. She couldn't help that she actually liked the woman. It was a damned rare thing, she knew, to actually like your potential mother-in-law, and have it returned in kind. She wasn't taking that for granted, and it was a relief to see that no more of Howe's assassins had been targeting her; "Though, you could have skipped the part where you had me pop a vertebrae. Being a Warden's got my blood pressure high enough as it is."

"I may be old, but I am still not deprived of the notion of fun…It just, took me a while to rediscover it, though. I do hope you will forgive me for that, if you can find it in your heart to do so with a foolish old woman?"

Eleanor's supposed meekness didn't fool anyone for even a moment. The old woman still had spirit, though she seemed…markedly more alive now, than when they'd left. What had changed?

"When you put it like that, I suppose I can be magnanimous…" the Breton sighed, creasing the corner of her lips in an unwilling smile. Divines, it was good to be back. Redcliffe was just about the closest thing she'd been to feeling at home since leaving the College. It held people she cared about, and who cared for her, and it was safe and secure, at least as much as any place in Ferelden could currently be.

"Speaking of being magnanimous…" Eleanor mused, glancing at the door; "I believe we have a guest you have not yet met."

"Right, the Dunmer. The guard mentioned it was a woman, but not much else…" Talia muttered, suddenly feeling tired. Not just mentally, but physically too. Her legs ached from the constant walking, running and standing, and her body was sore from days of near-uninterrupted horse-riding. It reminded her of how she really just wanted a warm bath; "…you've met her, right? She's been here since the Dalish arrived, far's we heard?"

"I have met her, yes, and spent quite a great many hours conversing with her." The Teyrna smiled, as if at some small personal secret; "When at first I met Serah Maryon, I had thought her inquisitiveness and open mind too great a gift to be common, but our guest shares these traits as well. We have at great lengths discussed culture and philosophy."

"Is she a Noblewoman?" it would make sense, actually. Very few outside the main bloodlines of Morrowind would have the magical potential to take them this far off course. In a way, then, it actually spoke of Brelyna's dormant powers that she'd managed as much with four people.

"I will leave that for you to uncover." Eleanor gestured at the doors; "Now, I believe I intend on checking over my son for every single scratch he might have acquired. Meanwhile, why don't you greet her? Certainly it would make for easier banter than even I could provide."

"…right, that." Talia sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She supposed there was no way around it, really. She couldn't even pretend she had duties, since Alistair hadn't given them any and he wasn't back yet, and she'd look weird if she went to see how Owyn was doing when it wasn't even an hour since she'd handed him her armored pieces for repair. It almost seemed like the perfect setup; "…wait, why do I get the sudden, sneaking suspicion that I'm not allowed to bring company in there?"

Eleanor, however, remained silent at that, and simply smiled that almost motherly smile of hers as she borderline pushed Talia towards the room. It wasn't physically, naturally, but her expression basically promised a world of…something, and Talia would rather not provoke her, even now.

She still remembered seeing Eleanor stab a man in the spine even as he was on the ground. It was actually the kind of dread she could respect and worry about at the same time, though that realization left her wondering just what the fuck had happened to her sense of priorities if stabbing someone in the spine was the route to her respect.

That the man had served Howe wasn't as relevant as it perhaps should have been.

Right, so, now she had to be diplomatic, and probably as agreeable as she possibly could. She was, for better or for worse, sort of the ambassador of her people. While that had been acceptable once she had believed it was just for the Bretons, since she had Brelyna and J'zargo with her, now she was actually the link to Tamriel as a whole, and by the gods, did that realization serve to punch her in the gut. Still, she bit down on her resentment at the task, and gently pushed open the doors.

Now, Talia had, since first arriving in Ferelden, achieved much better control over her tempers, as well as her reactions to unexpected events. This much should have been evident to all when she didn't leap from her horse at the news of the Dalish, or when she refrained from killing those refugees in Lothering - in hindsight it now felt like yelling at corpses - so there should now be a great fewer things that would have her swooning like a daisy.

Her mother, Rhea Aulus, reclining in one of the soft chairs, a cup of wine in her hand and the bottle at her side, unfortunately belonged with those few things.

When Talia saw her, and Mother saw her, it felt like the air constricted itself in her lungs, refusing to let her breathe. Sweat broke out across her skin, and her body felt like it was ready to lurch and collapse where she stood. Her heart nearly gave out, and her throat refused to emit even a groan. It all could be blamed on the fact that her mind was unable to process what her eyes were feeding it, and her brain was suffering from a temporal breakdown.

For a long, agonizingly silent moment, the two women stared at each other, competing for the more stunned expression, which Talia would later insist neither had won. The only sound now filling the room was the fireplace's crackling, and despite the warmth the flames gave off, Talia felt unnaturally cold.

This…this couldn't actually be happening, could it?

Like, there was no way her brain was actually processing this right, was there? It had to be an illusion, or something like it, maybe Morrigan pulling a prank on her again. The witch was getting better at them and it would only be obvious for her to…

"Talia"

Her mother's first word came out as a dry croak, bereft of volume and thick with so many emotions it looked like she was going to burst. Talia, for all she tried denying it, couldn't overcome the fact that the voice was so irredeemably Mother's, and the realization hit her like a mallet to the stomach.

Tears already now started forming in the corners of her eyes, unwanted and impossible to stop. Talia couldn't even comprehend to blink them away, broken as her mind now was. It had tried and failed to accept that her mother was actually in the same room as her, standing mere meters away, a guest of Redcliffe. She couldn't believe it, and couldn't even order her own body to move even a single muscle.

"…Mnnghh…M-mo..." Talia's jaw was locked tight, refusing to allow her even the simplest of words. Her entire being was simply in a state of revolt, refusing and disbelieving what it was being informed of by its eyes. There was no way she could actually be here, no way Mother could actually be here, right here, right before her. She swallowed; "…mom?"

For better or for worse, this was all Rhea Aulus required from her. As the single word of confirmation left Talia's lips, the Dunmer crossed the distance between them in two long strides and tore her daughter into an embrace so fierce, it felt to the redhead as if she would break her ribs.

The physical discomfort, if nothing else, helped shake Talia from her stupor.

"Lady Azura, I thank you from the depths of my soul for this…" her mother whispered, pressing their bodies together as if both their lives depended on it. There were no words for her, it seemed, but the silence and relief radiating from her mother was enough to speak for itself; "Mara, Akatosh, Arkay, Stendarr, Julianos, Divines, thank you for leading me to my daughter."

This was, at least, enough for Talia to rediscover her mind once again, and realize that what she was seeing, what she was feeling, was indeed her own mother, Rhea Aulus, shaking with relief and joy as she held her in an inescapable embrace.

"M-moth-Mom?!" she finally managed a coherent word, though it was muffled by her throat being pressed against her mother's shoulder. She also couldn't even see straight, because damn it if she wasn't starting to cry as well now. It wasn't even dignified in any way whatsoever, sadly. Now that she'd first let a single tear slip, there just wasn't any end to them, and honestly she did not care. She was practically dissolving, melting into the embrace of family; "Mom!"

Gone were the notions of estrangement. Gone was the desire to run away from her family, to leave it all behind because of misunderstandings and misfortunes. She didn't even care anymore that they'd wanted her married off to Daggerfall. Right now, right here, she had her mother.

And for a blissful moment, seemingly lasting both forever and nowhere near long enough, the Grey Warden became a little girl again.

Talia had no concept of time or when their embrace came to an end, only that when it did, she had thoroughly soaked and soiled both her own face and the fabric on her mother's shoulder. The realization brought her no small amount of shame and embarrassment. Somehow, however, her mother seemed to find the whole thing far more amusing than bothersome, and simply looked upon her with a maternal love and compassion Talia couldn't remember seeing since she was a child.

"Talia, my dearest, dearest daughter. Why do you cry?" she asked this, even as Talia could see the tears flowing freely down her marble cheeks.

"S-shut up, you're crying too!" she bit back in retort, feeling the shame and fluster heating up her face. It was like she was a little girl again and mom had caught her climbing the cherry-trees in nothing but her smalls. Well sod it, dresses weren't made for climbing trees!

"I suppose I am, aren't I?" her mother smiled warmly and gently wiped Talia's cheeks dry with the soft fabrics of her sleeves. She didn't resist the gesture, but felt a tingle of warmth spread from the contact when their skin touched; "Will you forgive your mother for crying with relief at the sight of her daughter unharmed?"

"I…I guess…But, but what…" she didn't even know how to ask this; "…what means…what, I mean, why…"

"You wonder, why am I here, in Thedas, as they call it?" there was only smile and warmth and love in her mother's red eyes, not a shred of admonishment for speaking out of term or swearing or losing her composure. It was, in a way, terrifying and unnerving; "Talia, you are my beloved daughter, and I would traverse the planes of Oblivion itself if it meant to find you. Not long ago, your father and I lost the ability to find you, even with…help, and…while your father is in the Imperial City, I…grew fretful. When Omluard was not there to assure me of your safety, my mind conjured up images that…I would not tolerate. I suppose what I am saying is that, I grew impatient and worried. I tried to focus on where we knew you to have last been, only…"

"…the spell misfired, didn't it?" Talia muttered as she was allowed to take a step back, taking in the situation with new eyes. So much was changed now, because of this reunion, yet again nothing was actually changed. The Blight was still ongoing, regardless of the fact that she now had her family here with her. It was a revolt, and yet wasn't. The contradictions had her mind reeling, and frankly, right now it was all she could do not to lose her shit, metaphorically speaking.

"It did at that, yes." Her mother sighed and nodded; "I aimed at this castle, though I ended up in a dense forest instead. I came across several threats to my person, werewolves among the-"

"Werewolves?!" Talia started, eyes wide and expression aghast. Her mother had faced werewolves? But, Aedan had said his ancestors had driven them from Ferelden.

"It was at the same time as when I encountered a certain…elf, in the thick of the woods." Her mother continued, a more somber tone entering her voice; "He was initially suspicious of my appearance, but relented enough that he would tell me of my whereabouts, in exchange for some company in his…final moments."

"…what do you mean?"

"You have seen the Dalish, the elves, outside in Redcliffe?" Talia nodded, waiting for her mother to continue; "…the man I met was their Keeper, their elder and leader of sorts. He was on his way to confront these beasts that plagued his clan. He was, though I did not fully understand why at the time, headed for his deliberate demise…"

"…you mean like, a sacrifice to the werewolves?" she couldn't completely wrap her mind around this, but it was a welcome distraction from the fact that, well, her mother was here. Not just in the same land as a Blight was currently ravaging, but the same castle that Aedan was in. Somehow, the latter was the more terrifying realization.

"…In a way, yes…It is, a story for another time, I suppose. It does not have a cheerful ending and I would rather not cast gloom over this day." There was an expression of lingering regret on her face, though Talia for the life of her could not understand what had happened. In the end, she resigned to remaining in the dark for now, much as it annoyed her. If her mother did not wish for her to know, at this point, it was likely not from simple coddling; "When I joined with the Dalish elves, they were already migrating westwards, towards Redcliffe. We arrived not a week ago, and that is when I was introduced to Lady Teyrna Eleanor Cousland, among others." Something entered her mother's eyes, a hint of something Talia couldn't discern; "She told me of her son, I would have you know, and that you and he seem to have…an agreement, of sorts? I will admit, I did not readily believe you of all people to have seriously entered a relationship, so I wanted to hear it from you."

"…what" There was no helping it. Talia simply couldn't wrap her mind around the rate of which her mother changed moods and topics. She never had been able to, but at least back then things had been…simpler, sort of. Right now, their reunion had moved from tearful relief and rejoice to the details of her relationship with Aedan, and all in less than ten minutes; "I…you…what"

"Did I stutter?" her mother asked, a slightly cooler air entering her voice; "I would know of this, and preferably from you, so that I needn't hunt down this 'Aedan' and interrogate him for myself."

"N-no, it's just, I…" Mara help her, what the fuck did she reply to that? 'Yes, Mother, we love each other and last night here he fucked me so hard I walked with a limp, and now that we're back I'd hoped to eventually grab him in the bath'?

There was no way in any plane of Oblivion she could say something like that and not consign Aedan to dismemberment. It was all the more aggravating because mother never made this much of a fuss over her one-night stands back home. Fuck maternal instincts, if this was how they played in.

All of a sudden it was starting to come back to her just why she'd left home. At least, one of the reasons. Too much ploughin' control…She took a deep breath and did her best to shake off the self-consciousness currently doing its damned best at making her obedient and timid. Well, fuck that.

"I was just…not expecting you to know that. In hindsight I guess you and Eleanor would've had to talk about something…" she sighed, though it almost became a groan; "…but yeah, Aedan and I are kind of a thing. Please don't murder him?"

"Is he good to you?" her mother's question still managed to catch Talia off-guard though; "From what Eleanor told me, you more or less confessed to her that you love him, but what does he think of it? How does he treat you?"

"…that's what you're worried- I mean, I thought…" Well, bugger. Talia had honestly expected to be grilled on her intentions, seeing as that was how Eleanor had more or less gone about it, although gently. Still, this was…unexpected; "How come you never acted like this with any of the other men…or girls, but suddenly you…And why do you have to ask this right after delivering yourself to Redcliffe, I mean…fuck, that…"

"Language."

"…Sod, that." She bit back, glaring at her mother, more out of stubbornness and uncertainty than actual anger; "If you really wanna ask that as one of the first things, then yes, he treats me right. Aedan is kind, he is considerate, he's smart and actually cares about me, which is more than I can say about certain people supposedly related to me by blood."

Her mother did not rise to the bait, surprisingly enough; "In that case, I will certainly look forward to meeting him." That in itself was horrifying enough, considering the tone with which it was said, but what made it even worse was the rapping of knuckles now resounding from the closed door; "Ah, that would be him, I assume?"

Talia stared at her mother, really stared, with eyes wide from horror and disbelief. She had completely lost track of this situation, more so than when she'd first seen her mother of all people in Redcliffe's sitting-room. This was surreal, it was so absolutely outright bizarre that it had to be a hallucination of some kind. She'd had dreams more sensible than this, the one in the Fade included.

"Entering." It was Lady Eleanor, of all things, and for but a brief moment, Talia dared to hope it would only be her. Said hope was promptly crushed when it was not Eleanor in the door, but instead Aedan, looking like he'd been shoved through the door rather than asked nicely; "Be polite now, yes?"

Dear gods.

She wanted to cringe and fall to her knees and curl up in a fetal position and just die. This was by far the weirdest day in her life, and it was only exponentially getting weirder and weirder and worse. When she finally dared actually looking at Aedan, it seemed he had been ripped out of his gambeson and stuffed into a set of clothes that wanted for the life of them to be presentable. Red and yellow clashing over dominance on a single vest, however, with dark green trousers, was not what she would call presentable.

It was actually so bad she almost started laughing at him.

She did, actually, when she saw how pale his face had become. The poor guy was stricken with fear, and the object of his terror was clearly none other than her mother. If that wasn't the absolute archetype cliché of every relationship she had ever encountered in the books, she wasn't sure what the fuck else would classify.

"So…" her mother started, hands clasped behind her back as she slowly walked closer to the buck-startled noble. A smile somewhere between cruel and innocently curious played on her lips; "You would be Aedan Cousland, I presume?"

"P-pleasure to make your aquinatance- acquaintance, Ma'am." Dear gods she felt bad for him now. Where she had merely been unnerved and disbelieving, Aedan was positively terrorized and trembling. He hadn't looked this bad since…well, she couldn't actually remember a case of simple terror this bad. Grief, yes, but terror?

"You can relax, Aedan, I don't bite." And with those simple words, Rhea Aulus transformed from monstrous terror to simply being a smiling woman. It might as well have been magical, for the unreal change it was; "Believe me, the last thing I want is to be on bad standing with the first man Talia has seriously seemed romantically interested in. I simply want a look at you."

If anything, that only served to further increase his discomfort, if the way he was blushing worse than the left of his vest was any indication. It didn't help much when the Dunmer placed her hands on his shoulders in a manner supposedly comforting, though it did at least allow him the confidence to no longer stare at the floor. Mother held his face up with her gaze alone, scrutinizing him for what felt like hours to Talia, and no doubt days to Aedan.

"Hmm…not too bad. Skin seems healthy, no missing teeth, hair's thick and vibrant…could do with a shave, unless that's something the two of you have agreed on…" she muttered, counting off pro's and cons as if Aedan was a particularly expensive horse at a market; "…posture is gangly, straighten up please…Much appreciated…good, broad shoulders, no excess of baby fat…speaking of which-"

"Mom!"

"Hmm? I was merely contemplating his potential for the furthering of-"

"That is NOT what I want to hear the first time you meet someone!" Talia groaned, feeling physically ill with embarrassment; "Seriously, I have to be the one saying this to you?"

"It's common practice, even if being Grey Wardens as I hear it reduces the chances of children." The worst of it was, her mother's tone was completely serious and casual, as if there was nothing wrong with talking about her and Aedan like a pair of magnificent breeding-stock; "We are, after all, two major noble houses, and while Grey Wardens might not be permitted holdings in Thedas, you will recall we have no such rulings in Tamriel."

"…geh!" Talia couldn't mentally process what was going on. It was too much. It was too ridiculous. It was simultaneously so sad and so funny that she didn't know whether to slump crying in a chair or sink to the floor in hysterical laughter. So in the end she simply remained standing where she stood, a desperate chuckle escaping her.

She simply couldn't deal. Her mind simply couldn't deal, and chose shutting down rather than trying to wrap itself around the situation.

"…Talia?" Aedan's attention, at least, was diverted from his potential mother-in-law's examinations, concern and confusion in equal amounts painting his expression.

"…oh dear." Rhea sighed; "You wouldn't believe how often this happened when she was younger, though usually she and her sister would be doing it together. Alai mostly because she didn't understand why Talia was doing it…"

"That…that's the first time she's done that here…" he muttered, uncertain of whether he should be more terrified of the Dunmer in front of him - it was only now he was really starting to understand that Talia was actually indeed elf blooded. He'd known it for months, but somehow it only now started kicking in - or his seemingly unhinged friend and lover rolling around on the floor.

"Oh?" the woman mused, regarding him with slight curiosity. He didn't know what to say to that kind of response. Was he supposed to explain just how many dangers they'd been in? Certainly his mother had already done some of that, seeing how she apparently was on first-name-basis with the Queen of a country. Granted, it wasn't a very large country, from what Talia had said, roughly the size of Highever's lands, but still, the fact remained she was a Queen. Didn't look much like one, actually, since she wore much the same type of robes Talia did when not in Warden-gear.

"I mean…I didn't mean she's…I…it's just we've been through a lot and she never really seemed…fazed, like this, I think…" Maker help him, he couldn't keep up a coherent sentence in front of this woman. Even with the different racial traits, there was not even a shred of doubt in his mind that this was Talia's mother, through and through. She certainly seemed equally fond of making those around her squirm, even as her daughter's behavior clearly brought her some degree of concern.

"My daughter has been in mortal danger, you mean." Rhea stated flatly, casually almost. She briefly regarded her daughter, now slumped to the floor in e fetal position. She was still laughing, giggling and babbling like a toddler. Aedan only refrained from panicking at over her state because her mother didn't seem to worry; "I know she has, that much at least your mother explained…I was also given the impression that I have you to thank for her life, on more than one occasion."

"I…I don't know if that's…I mean, she's saved my life so many more times than…" dear Maker, let him not ruin this; "I mean, I'm doing my best, Ma'am."

"I'm sure you do, Aedan." She smiled, warmth permeating the gesture; "Come now though, there is no reason for you to be this fretful around me. I'm just Talia's mother, Rhea, not some scary monster going to rip you apart."

That was oddly specific, considering what Talia had mentioned earlier. The girl in question was rolling around on the floor, one hand weakly pointing at her mother, giggling like an overjoyed toddler allthewhile;

"Rip, rip-rip-rip…rippity ripperly rip-rip-riiiiiip…"

Aedan stared at her in abject horror. Was she losing her mind?

"Don't worry, she's just…" Rhea started, frowning at her daughter, then looked back at him; "…I don't suppose she'd have mentioned taking a lot of potions when younger?"

"S…she mentioned antidotes." He offered meekly.

"Azura…Right, well…we weren't quite aware of it at the time, but her brother apparently wanted to…help, so he gave her something we hadn't prescripted and…she was dealing with the side-effects for a while." The woman sighed, rubbing her brows. Aedan wasn't sure how the Hell he was supposed to react to this; "It's…nothing dangerous, as such, but we went through a major healing-process involving blood-rituals, which supposedly cured her of it…I guess having her blood polluted by the Joining could have brought some of the side-effects back…"

"Talia's own brother poisoned her?" he stared, aghast at such a notion. Talia had mentioned her brother being a bastard on a few occasions, but…

"Not on purpose, of course. He was only three at the time, and thought the colorful bottles were, well, helpful…" Rhea bemoaned; "It's nothing dangerous, mind you. She just needs a few minutes to…recover. Why don't we put her on the couch for now?"

"R-right." Aedan nodded, gently lifting his unhinged companion from the floor and onto the soft pillows of the broad couch. She grabbed a pillow and curled up around it, seemingly oblivious to anything else. Aedan stared, and stared, then turned his eyes to stare at Talia's mother instead. She seemed more at ease with this than him, though some degree of concern clearly still reigned behind her eyes; "So…she'll recover in a few minutes?"

"Yes…" Rhea nodded, letting her shoulders sag; "No need to worry, we'll just stay with her until she comes to. In the meantime, why don't you tell me more about yourself?"


Believe it or not, this is actually all plot and canon. It's not an OVA and it's not a crack-chapter…dear gods, I've been tracked down by my own characters. I really thought Roku was the only one capable of that.

Dammit…This is why I tend to stay away from writing comedy. I have a twisted mind but can't put it to paper...