Summary: It would be tricky, navigating the relationship between the two of them. He could only do it with their help; without them, this arrangement would bend and break.
LaShonda hiccupped a few times on the way to the Game Shop, and Mokuba made a mental note to have her checked out.
He parked out front and, as he dismounted onto the sidewalk, wondered what mood Yami would be in. They hadn't seen each other all day, and for good reason: Mokuba imagined that Yami wasn't used to being seen in such an emotional state. Hell, Mokuba wasn't used to seeing Yami in that way - and it had happened twice!
Yuugi opened the door before he could get to it. "Welcome—!" he called, and Mokuba did his best to smile back. "Oh, hey."
Don't make this weird, he told himself, it doesn't have to be. He still didn't know if Yami's internal strife was due to anything between the two of them, or how he would address things if they did.
"Just the person I was looking for, actually," Mokuba said, crossing the threshold.
This declaration made Yuugi frown. "What...?" he trailed off in confusion. "What for?"
"Got a gift for you," Mokuba told him, adding a small wink.
Yuugi's eyebrows crinkled, unsure of what emotion they wanted to display, but he continued. "Well, okay. Come on in." That didn't seem like a good sign.
Brown eyes swiveled around the room, searching. Yami was at the counter and Mokuba waved; he received a nod in return. No sign at all in those amethyst eyes of the tears that had fallen the night before. There were customers in the store as well, three of them: two kids, a boy and a girl, and a boy that looked about high school-age, nearly as tall as Seto. Damn. Yami was occupied at the register with the girl, who was asking, shocking enough, about the newest boxset; Mokuba couldn't imagine the girl could afford it on her own. Contrary to when Mokuba had last seen, Yami smiled as he answered her questions.
It was a soft expression, but it pinched the corners of his eyes. Mokuba had never had that sort of mercy shown to him, and the realization caused something heavy to drop to the pit of his stomach.
"Can't it wait?" Yuugi asked, effectively snapping Mokuba from his thoughts. "I'd rather wait until the store is empty. Surely you're not just here for me?" Suggestive eyebrows offered room for a dirty joke or a romantic statement.
But Mokuba wasn't listening. "What?"
"Mokuba..." Yuugi raised his voice just a little, but it was enough. Yami looked up to see what was going on - as did one or two of the kids. "Did you hear me?"
Focus. Mokuba blinked, hard, forcing himself to react properly. "Sorry. I'm just... I'm gonna go outside and have a cigarette," and he retreated as quickly as possible. This day was obviously not agreeing with him despite his intentions.
"Wait—" he heard from inside, and then the door shut and Yuugi was beside him. "What's wrong?" Yuugi asked. "It seems like something else is on your mind."
He hadn't left the store quickly enough. How could he be caught off guard by something as simple as a man smiling at a child? It was such a ridiculous gesture to react so strongly to. Worse, Yuugi had seen it, and now he had to explain himself because he had slipped.
"I don't know," he said. At least it was honest.
If this had been any other moment, the mistake wouldn't have bothered him. Mokuba prided himself on being more open, more caring than his brother. He liked people, liked bonding with them; there were some lessons that could only be learned through experience, and that meant putting himself out there to be hurt, to be betrayed, to...
...to be become jealous of a child.
It was petty and wrong and beneath him, and no one should have seen it, least of all Yuugi. There was a looming conflict of interest here, and he needed to be at his best to deal with it. Mokuba now regretted this visit. He'd thought he was ready to deal with this, that he could handle this as calmly as everything else; but it was a large waste of time. Regardless of how he felt about Yuugi, and Yami, and everything else, he had wanted to deliver a present. That gift had come from a good place, and it was being tainted by emotions that were running rampant, now. More than anything, he felt pathetic, and the pangs of self-disappointment set in pretty quickly.
"Did you fight with Ya—erm, wait, could I could I have one?" Yuugi asked, cutting himself off. Mokuba had been about to put the pack away. "I only do it every once in a while," he offered as an explanation.
Mokuba shrugged as he lit his own and passed the lighter; purposefully avoiding the first question he had been asked.
Yuugi giggled. "A Blue Eyes? That's not your monster, is it?"
"What?" It caught him off guard, but that wasn't surprising.
Everything was catching him unawares today. It made him think of his brother, and of their differences. Or, at least, what Mokuba thought were their differences. Seto wouldn't have had a problem dealing with this situation, were he in Mokuba's shoes.
Then again, he wouldn't have been in them. Even if Seto were under some strange urge to find a single person to express himself to, it sure in the hell wouldn't have been Yami.
The man was a wildcard, a firecracker, not only in purpose but in spirit. Yami was intelligent and had no fear of the opinions of others. He was well vested in himself as a person - he knew who he was and had no shame in displaying himself to anyone. "Fuck them," he would say, and that was even if he deigned to give naysayers a response. But it was a twofold personality. His aggression was easily turned on his loved ones, and his lack of need to impress anyone meant that he kept very much to himself. He hid a lot, and since everyone seemed to look to him for leadership he felt no need to explain himself when making decisions. It was, surprisingly, a trait and both he and Seto shared in common.
His brother had once told him, "Don't waste words; never bother to explain yourself. Anyone you need to discuss your doings with will already know about them, by experience or hard work of their own, just as you get your knowledge from your own experiences. You worked hard for your authority. You're a Kaiba. They're not. It's why they're a subordinate and you're not. If they don't know, then they weren't meant to."
And Mokuba supposed it was true. He knew very little of Yami's life, the Millennium Items or any of the things that he had done. It would be arrogant to him to think that Yami would simply sit down and share his whole life's story, or that he would even want to; he owed no explanation.
"Your monster," Yuugi repeated with a smile, breaking the flow of his thoughts. "You know, that one card that has to be in every deck you make? Even if it doesn't match? Even if you may not get to use it? Or need it?"
Mokuba frowned as he exhaled, smoke dissipating into the air, and hoped that Yuugi could see it and would change the topic. Despite working at KaibaCorp, he knew very little about the monsters in the game - especially since so many years had passed since he played it. He saw enough duels to last him a lifetime and was pretty good with understanding strategy, too. But that was about it; there were no cards in particular that stuck to the top of his mind. Only the ones that others were famous for using.
"I haven't played since before I went to the States," Mokuba confessed. "Not that I played much to begin with."
"Am I supposed to believe you've forgotten how to play?"
Mokuba didn't think that he would ever forget how to play. He'd spent so much time trying to be as great as Seto. There were several strategies that he'd memorized and practiced with both his older brother and several of the machines set up for dueling practice. If nothing else, he could most certainly say that, no, the Blue Eyes wasn't his. Seto had ingrained himself as being associated with the monster in Mokuba's mind, and that was a standard that he could not meet. He could not reach that high. To do what his brother had done with his life required sacrifice and Mokuba was too selfish for it. He wanted a life, friends, and reasons to care for others. Seto cared for him in his own way but very little for everyone else, and it had made him a wonderful businessman. There were no conflict, no favors to grant and no one to owe.
Seto had struggled to do it alone, and there were very few people like him. There were few copies of the Blue Eyes as well.
And as awkward as it was to admit it, he had tried to be like Yuugi too: the sort of person who would always stand by his friends, who would believe in them no matter what. At the time, he had been too embarrassed to say he wanted friends to be that way with.
Mokuba was overseas for four long years, nearly five, and yet he didn't feel quite as close to anyone there. Sure, he loved and cared for them deeply. He'd go to bat for them at the drop of a hat - but it was hard to out-do the group that he had nearly died with, had his spirit stolen for, that had saved him from those circumstances, and that had shown him such wonderful things. He knew that, even if he was a straggler or a clinger-on, he would be bound to the dueling group forever.
In his moment of clarity, he decided to answer Yuugi coherently.
"I don't have a monster. I don't even know the promos for the newest boxset." Involuntarily he glanced towards Yami, the girl, and the smile that had roused such feelings of possessiveness within him. He suddenly felt the urge to run away. Mokuba had only just returned from work and, to that extent, had already enjoyed a small break from Yami's difficulties.
But there was suddenly this strain between them - Yami had not always taken this much effort to deal with. Their relationship so far had been sporadic and although involved, very lax. He liked it that way; they'd dated a little and they were attached, certainly, but there was no pressure. They both had their own problems to deal with. Mokuba had reasons for not telling Yami about his laborious efforts, but he was open about everything else.
Nearly every question asked was welcomed and received an answer. The reverse was almost always untrue.
The preceding night had frightened him, in a way; he had not been prepared to deal with everything that had been thrust upon his shoulders. Mokuba could feel it, the emotions as they tangled and churned with one another; their relationship was fast changing, becoming something else, and he wasn't sure he wanted to deal with that.
It's a little late for that...
If he was going to handle his inner turmoil, he may as well get it over with. Yuugi, for whatever sway he may have had with Yami, was not the one to blame. He was a great person, and all things considered it was his opinion of the two of them that mattered to him. As much as Mokuba wanted to write this situation off with at devil-may-care attitude, like he was sure Yami would have, Yuugi's approval wasn't something he felt he could proceed without.
"Yuugi," he said softly, waiting until their eyes were locked. He wanted his sincerity to be clear. It was the one tool any person arguing their case had going for them, and with his emotions scattered all over the place it was the only shred of integrity Mokuba could rely on.
"...I think I'm falling for him."
The small smile that he received in return was exactly what Mokuba had expected. No matter how he felt about things, Yuugi played the role of encouraging and supportive. "Mokuba, I..." Yuugi broke their eye contact, and hand reaching up to swipe at his face. There was a small sniff, and the smile faltered. "I'm sorry. I just - I don't think—"
"I know. It's a terrible idea. I didn't want to," he added.
Violet eyes met his again, this time with steely determination. The smile was gone, though, abandoned in favor a pull from his cigarette. "...how much do you know?" Yuugi asked.
Mokuba continued to be honest. There was no point in hiding that, not when there was so little advantage to it. Perhaps, if he played this right, he could walk away from this conversation with more in his pockets than he'd entered with. "Not anything, really. Just that there's something to know."
They were both nearing the end of their cigarettes and there was a moment of silence as they ground out the persistent embers. Whatever wave of emotion had taken over Yuugi, he had pushed it away, moving to stand in front of Mokuba. For his part, Mokuba stood still, leaned against the shop, hoping that he could conceal just how heavy his shoulders were with this quandary.
"You're right," Yuugi told him. "It's a terrible idea." A laugh accompanied his statement, but it was shallow and bitter. Mokuba let him keep it; he had earned it.
"He explained how difficult it was," Mokuba piped up. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to finish the thought. Their relationship wasn't something he had the right to comment on. "But that's it." At this point Yami's connection to Yuugi wasn't an obstacle; it was a fact. And there was a part of him that hoped that perhaps, if he didn't say it out loud, it would somehow be less true.
The expression on Yuugi's face shifted many times, eyes looking around for something to focus on. To think. This was a precarious conversation with a delicate balance, and a terrible time to have it at that. None of this was being done the right way.
"Do you believe him?"
"Yes." Mokuba had seen pain in the eyes of others before. It wasn't something that someone could fake. Apply to an unrelated situation, perhaps, but not fake. And there was something about Yami that simply made him feel as though he wouldn't lie about his feelings.
The loud sigh that Yuugi let out did not bode well for the conversation. It was shaky and weak, and Mokuba began to think that that perhaps they should postpone it for the moment. If Yuugi couldn't handle it, Mokuba would not go so far as to kick a man while he was down.
"That isn't what I came here for, though," he said abruptly, giving them both the op. "I wanted to deliver this. It's a token of gratitude for... well, for everything. In the past, I mean."
A bell jingled beside them, and out went the three customers from the shop in order of height: the teen first, then the small boy and finally the small girl, who was holding a large booster set in both arms, humming a tune. They would most definitely have to have this conversation later.
Mokuba envied how easily the envelope slipped from his hand to Yuugi's. There was no animosity there, and Yuugi accepted the gift freely and without animosity. That was the way things were supposed to be; it was not simply Yami whose aura emanated that sincerity. There had never been a moment in Mokuba's life, either, when he had doubted anything that Yuugi had ever told him.
From the very first moment, he had been supportive of them, regardless of what pain it had caused him. But in Mokuba's head, these sorts of situations didn't work out well. The bonds between people simply fell apart in an attempt to avoid being intrusive. They couldn't avoid discussing it forever. Yami was too involved with both of them.
Yuugi wasted no time looking inside, and the same violet eyes that had gazed at him so remorsefully now widened in surprise.
"It doesn't have to be this way," Mokuba told him. "I don't want it to be. I like you, and you're just as much my friend as he is..." He wasn't sure what he would call what he had with Yami, not quite yet. Feelings were one thing, but this was different. When he wrestled his feelings away, he would still be left with this situation, this problem, and it needed to be solved. Feelings without action were rash and unimportant.
The thought came to him suddenly: the image of two hands, fingers intertwined, and Mokuba fought the tangle of feelings within himself to smile, genuinely. Wasn't that what Yuugi did? He smiled when it was difficult, gave hope to others when things seemed grim. Mokuba had faith that things would work out, and he would have to let everyone cling to it until everything worked itself out. And it would, because Mokuba was willing to put the work in to make it so.
Yuugi seemed unable to steady his breaths, and couldn't hide his face with both hands clutching the envelope. His eyes were wide and for once, looked unmistakably sad. This was dangerous, because Yami was surely going to come outside any moment and see the two of them, and Mokuba wasn't just ready to speak - not yet. Yami would have to wait.
"You're a good friend, Mokuba." Yuugi's voice was still shaky, and he tried to clear his throat. A cough shortly followed, and Yuugi added with a wry smile, "Gods, we're just so fucked up. I'm so sorry. It's not his fault." It wasn't fooling anyone, though; even the smile was sad.
Yami's pretty fucked up. Be careful. That was what Jounouchi had said.
"It's not anyone's fault. Someone wanted it this way." That, too, was a touchy subject.
But before Yuugi could answer, the door to the shop jingled again with movement. Yami peered outside, looking for them, and Yuugi looked away. Yami stared at them, and they said nothing for a long time. Mokuba simply stared back. It didn't seem as though Yami was going to retreat, eyebrows narrowed and frown deepening with every few moments of silence. Yuugi seemed unsure of what to say.
"Yami..." Mokuba began slowly. The man nearly growled in response. "Do you think you could give us a few minutes?"
The door slammed shut without a word, and bells rang violently.
"Oh. He's upset," Yuugi whined with another sigh.
There was no time for this, for ridiculous and misplaced anger. "Let him be," Mokuba said, making up his mind. They were going to have to do this now, if that show was any indication. "I needed to talk to you. I'll deal with him later." He took a deep breath and continued. "I may not know everything - or anything, really - about what's going on between the two of you. I may never know everything, and I understand that. It's none of my business." Yuugi opened his mouth to protest, but Mokuba cut him off. "—no, Yuugi, it isn't. It's kind enough for you to feel that I deserve to know but I've no right to that information, nor am I going to try to argue with you or beg or pester you for it. There is only one thing I need to know from you Yuugi, and it's important. It's very important and I'm going to need you to give me an honest answer."
He received a vigorous nod in response, sniffles sounding in between.
"Is it okay? For-for me to..." Now he was choking up.
Stop it, he chastised himself. Stop being a baby. You're a Kaiba. You're in charge of this negotiation.
He took a breath to steel himself and continued. "I don't want to pour myself into this if it's just going to be snatched away from me." Yuugi was the only person who could. "Before I ask him, I need to ask you. You're the only person who can break him like that."
Violet eyes suddenly turned sharp in their gaze. "What - like what? Break him like what? What happened?"
Mokuba shook his head. It wasn't something that he could divulge. That had been Yami's moment, and he had trusted Mokuba enough to let him in, to let him see. There was no way that he was going to jeopardize that. If Yuugi wanted to know, he was going to have to ask. "I just need to know, Yuugi. There's too much involved for me to plan for, and too much for me to even hope to get a handle on. I don't know what's going to happen between the two of us, and it may be nothing at all in the end. But I'm not going to waste my time if I have to compete with you. I... I can't compete with you."
Yuugi ran both hands through his hair, envelope and all, rubbing at his eyes on the way up. The gesture reminded him of Yami, and the association made this moment just a little more painful than Mokuba had planned. "If you're asking me if I can stop loving him, the answer is no. Because I do."
"That's not what I want." The issue wasn't of love, of feeling. It was of action, and which ones Yuugi may decide to take in the future. "You know that's not what I'm asking. I need to know, Yuugi, if I can keep trusting you the way that I've always have. And I feel that you're honest enough to tell me if I can't. I'm not you - I can't keep a smile on while the world burns around me. I'm not Seto either; I can't just sit passively and bide my time, distance myself and come out better. Yami would just say 'fuck it' and do whatever he wants but that's not an option for me. I care about what you think because you're my friend. There's a lot of shit between you two, a lot more than I was expecting, and my goal is to not have to lose either of you. But I'm not going to sit by idly and be undermined, either. I want my chance. I want to see what happens in the end."
There it was, his feelings laid out on a table between them, a babbling pile of worry and concern. Yuugi and Marik had had their turns, and Mokuba wanted one of his own. Yami was fucked up, but he was cocky and fun and a lot of other things that Mokuba liked. He could care less about Marik and how he felt about things; Marik had hurt people very dear to him and it was something Mokuba had never quite forgiven. But Yuugi was Yuugi: someone that Mokuba had trusted in, looked up to and at this point confided in. It seemed stupid to have one and not the other and he saw no reason why gaining either should cause that loss.
Biting his lip, Yuugi sighed again. There was a sort of resignation in those bright eyes as he answered. "He needs someone. I just don't... I don't want him to come out of this alone. He's made a lot of mistakes, but he doesn't deserve to be alone. He's done a lot of great things, too." There was a devotion, a determination lurking underneath that expression and Mokuba knew that if Yami ever wanted him back - genuinely - Yuugi would topple buildings for him. He would move mountains to get to him. Yami was alone, and until there was someone to take care of him Yuugi would always have a place open for him, waiting.
That was love.
That was also no way to live a life. Yuugi was ready at any moment to be pulled away if Yami needed him, and that was wasn't healthy. Or, at least, worse in a situation filled with already dangerous tendencies. Mokuba was in no place to say that, though, not now, and he kept that thought to himself. It would be tricky, navigating the relationship between the two of them. He could only do it with their help; without them, this arrangement would bend and break.
Slowly, Yuugi nodded. "Okay. So long as he picks someone, it'll be okay. It's... it's okay."
Mokuba was still a mess of feelings on the inside, too. He exhaled a breath he hadn't known he was holding, and reached in his pocket for another cigarette. He offered one to Yuugi and it was taken without a word. Yuugi fumbled with his, almost dropping it as he handled the envelope in his other hand and Mokuba just lit it for him.
"I'll talk to him," Yuugi offered, his voice still shaky.
"He'll have to talk to us both," Mokuba insisted. There was a small part of him that didn't want Yuugi doing all the work. Yami was partial to him, and no matter what the circumstances, the decision was in Yami's hands.
You could just tell him, he considered, about the work, about the extra hours.
He could. It was a rather precious bargaining chip, and although material things were not the way to get Yami's attention the gesture itself was meaningful. Mokuba was giving him something that it was very unlikely he could get anywhere else. But that was a separate gift, something that Mokuba felt he deserved. The deal was done, anyway, and no matter what the outcome Mokuba would be paying for it for the next two years. That was not something that he could take back. But guilt or debt was not any way to start... anything, between people. If Yami liked what existed between them, that should be the reason for his choice.
No, he wouldn't say anything about it, not until it was all said and done.
"Mokuba, I..." Yuugi's eyes avoided his once more, and he looked down and focused instead on the cigarette in his hands. "I - we –" He took a pull from the cigarette to calm himself down. Mokuba held his breath, unsure of what was going to be said.
"I kissed him, a few weeks ago. We've been fighting about it. I thought you should know. That's-that's not a past thing. It's a... it's a now... thing."
Relief washed over him. Thank god there wasn't anything else. "I know about that."
To his surprise, the same expression fell onto Yuugi's features, as well. Despite the seriousness of the situation, he looked almost content. It was nice to know that Yuugi would still be so honest.
"I won't stop being friends with you," Yuugi added. "Just so you know. I was never angry at you, or anything."
"I never thought you were." They were stalling now, avoiding facing the inevitable: the object of their affections waiting inside of the shop. "He needs to make a decision. You've been waiting for one a lot longer than I have."
Yuugi had been lying, of course; this was Yami's fault in its entirety. His attitude towards the three of them, Marik reluctantly included, had caused more strife than necessary. Whatever it was that Yami was running from, that he was unhappy with, he was going to have to face it. Mokuba, for one, was not going to get caught up in this web of issues.
Either Yami would choose, or Mokuba would leave.
Edited 3/17/16 – We're beginning the last "act" of this fic now, from this point, and we're going to have a few more Yami oriented chapters from this point on.
In case anyone missed it, there was a reference to Seto Kaiba and his companion from "Fingers". I haven't forgotten about it, don't worry. That reveal happens a little closer to the end, but it does happen!
A few people want to know a little more about Seto Kaiba and his endeavors in this fic. Unfortunately, because this story is only from the PoV of two characters – Mokuba and Yami – there won't be as much emphasis on the details of Seto's life, at least not in this fic. There are a few one-shots I have planned that involve some exchanges, but that's it, pretty much. Seto isn't the focal point here. That being said, if you want to know more about his side of things, feel free to PM me! I have it mapped out, but a lot of that detail I just haven't been able to fit into the story, really.
This is prompt #17.
